Forever Mine
By:
Michelle
Laura slowly eased the door shut
behind her and then out of habit, locked it and set the security system.
Sighing deeply, she leaned against the wood frame and allowed the forlorn
silence of the house to envelope her. "Figures, alone as
usual."
She pushed herself away from the door, and gingerly removed her shoes; silly
strappy bits of vinyl molded together for the sole purpose of glorifying beauty
- screw the comfort factor. She wiggled her stiff toes before solemnly
walking down the hall with a soft sigh. Not even a night out of
continuous dancing with old friends could lift her spirits these days.
Her heart hung heavy, as it had been doing so for the last three months.
"Where have you
been?"
His unexpected presence startled her and she dropped her purse and shoes.
Her eyes widened and her heartbeat escalated in fear. "What are you
doing here? Are you okay? Where's your car?"
"I live here, Laura. Remember? You are my wife."
His voice was low, his words clipped.
For the briefest moment, her heart soared. Was that concern in his
eyes? Fear, masked by anger, in his voice? This was, after all, the
first time in weeks that he had come home to an empty house. She was
always there, fighting off sleep until she knew he was home, safe and sound.
A slight tilt of her head and she quickly took in his appearance. Dark
eyes glassy, soft hair mussed and unruly, silk shirt askew, buttons missing,
his loose pants wrinkled. She instantly knew where he had come from. . . another's
bed.
"Only when it's convenient for you, AJ, so don't try to lay a guilt trip
on me." Resignation crept back into her voice, quelling the anxiety.
He didn't come home to be with her. . .
"What the hell are you talking about?" He slammed the glass that was
clenched tightly in his grip back down onto the bar; it's contents splashing
haphazardly across the gleaming dark wood. He had been frightened when he'd
come home to an empty house. She was supposed to be there, feigning sleep
until he crawled in next to her and then her arms would go around him and hold
him so securely. "Answer my question!"
"Do I ever get a full report of where you've been?" Her soft
voice cracked from the rising ache in her heart. Here stood the man she
vowed to love forever, and she would love him forever, no doubt, but the
realization over the last several weeks that he just didn't love her like he
loved another, crushed her very soul.
With a quick shake of her head, she regained her composure. "Please, I'm
tired. I've had a long day and night and I'm going to bed."
She bent to pick up her discarded items, cringing slightly as the polished
floor seemed to float up towards her. "Ugh, I hate this."
She tentatively stood upright, eyes closing against the wave of nausea that
assailed her and mentally kicked herself for drinking just one too many glasses
of wine.
He was beside her instantly, placing a hand on her elbow to help steady her.
"Laura? What's with you? You've been my wife for a goddamn year and
I certainly wouldn't summarize our marriage as one of convenience."
How dare he? How dare he stand there and feign concern for her, his wife,
when he'd barely glanced in her in direction for days now!? What?
Was he suddenly blind? Stupid? Suddenly so much more self-centered
that he didn't even know how much he ignored her?
She turned hard blue eyes on him and gritted her teeth. She knew if she
started now, there would be no going back. But, then again, maybe it was
time to just let it all out. Enough was enough, she loved him; she hurt
because of him.
"You know AJ, there's a hell of a lot more to being a husband than just
acting like one in front of the cameras. When was the last fucking time
we went out anywhere just for us? Alone?" She took a deep breath,
pulled away from his hold and moved purposely towards the bar. "When
was the last time you invited me out with you and your friends just to hang and
have fun?" She dropped her shoes and small handbag on the bar,
picked up his discarded drink and finished it off. Willing away the tears
of hurt, frustration and burning alcohol, she turned to glare at him.
"When was the last time we just cuddled on the couch and talked, like real
married people do?" Swallowing down the sobs that threatened to choke off her
words, she closed her eyes tightly and pushed herself to continue.
"I'm tired of being remembered only when you need a wife decorating your
arm for the world to see. I married you because I fell head over heels in
love with you, damn it, and being cast aside like I mean nothing to you
hurts."
He stood motionless, shocked into silence at her outburst. It was so
uncharacteristic of her. Laura was always laid back, even tempered.
She never raised her voice, nor swore. She was his soothing and calming
presence. He loved her. He thought he proved that by marrying
her. What went wrong?
He shook his head to clear his thoughts and looked at her for the first time in
days; with eyes that didn't just gloss over her, but actually saw
her. She stood, swaying slightly, with hands on hips; her fingers
trembling slightly. Her long black hair caressed her cheeks; falling in
soft waves over her shoulders, curtaining her full breasts. His eyes met
hers and his heart weakened at what he saw.
She was hurt. She was lost.
"When was the last time you even touched me?" She struggled to
keep the tears at bay. She had to stay strong and finish.
"I did this to you. . . " His voice cracked and his eyelashes
fluttered briefly before his heavy lids closed. "Ah shit!"
Laura bit her lip, sorrow engulfing her for having started the
conversation. If this was the beginning of the end, then perhaps it was
better she just got it over and done with.
"For months now, AJ, you've preferred your friends over me. I thought
I was doing everything right. I thought I was making you happy, but I can
see that I'm only in the way."
"No. . . " Desperation flooded through his body.
"Yes! I can see now that you don't need a wife in your bed, you just
need a wife on your arm. You've got someone else. . . " Admitting it to
herself, out loud, finally brought forth the stinging tears that she had
forbade to fall before now.
"Laura. . . " A shaking hand reached for her, yet his quivering
legs remained frozen. He wanted to go to her, yet he couldn't move.
"You don't have to explain, AJ, I know! I'm not stupid, or
blind. I just thought maybe if I waited long enough. . . . " A quick
shake of her head and a desperate swipe at her tears. "There's
someone else and I've been relegated into second place." She cursed
as she plucked her shoes off the bar. As anger overpowered her anguish
once more, she strode from the room. "I'm seriously beginning to doubt I
was ever in first place at all."
He dropped down onto the ottoman, and bowed his head. "What have I
done?"
He hadn't planned any of it. He never expected to find something else;
something different. He did love Laura, he truly did, but. . . .
Damnit!! What was wrong with him? Why couldn't he be satisfied with
what he had? Why did he always need more?
He remained motionless for ages, and then dialed the familiar number and
counted the rings. Six.
"What?"
"It's over. Our relationship is over. I can't do this right
now."
"What? AJ, what are you talking about? An hour ago you left my bed
and swore that you'd love me forever."
"I will. I will love you forever, but I need her more right
now. You've already lost your marriage; I can't lose mine." A
sob escaped from him and he fell back against the sofa with a heavy heart.
"My marriage was doomed from the beginning; it had nothing to do with
you." The soothing voice flowed through AJ. Small shivers
radiated up his legs. He was tempted to hang up the phone and pretend
he'd never even dialed. "I don't understand, Aje. Wait. .
. I do, but. . . God! All this time, all these years, I never
knew what I was looking for. . . and then we find each other. .
. I can't just go away, Aje. I won't go away. I won't
give up." Brief silence ensued as both of them swallowed the
heartache. "You do what you need to for now. Laura is a good
woman and she loves you with all her heart. She's good for you; better
for you than I am." A soft cry flowed through the line.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't want to lose you forever,
just for now. I need to make things right, I need some
normalcy." AJ allowed the salty tears to wind their way down his
face.
"You won't lose me. You are forever mine."
"Forever mine. . . I love you, Kevin. G'night."
"Goodnight, AJ. . . Wait! Don't be gone too long. . . "
AJ found his wife curled up in their bed. He was surprised she was even
there, but that gave him some hope. He had to make things right with
her. He needed her love, her softness, her tender whispers of love that he
once allowed into his heart. He had forgotten, briefly, how she made him
feel. . . warm, loved, cherished, in a way that only she could. Kevin
made him feel all those things as well, but in a different way, an equally as
satisfying way.
AJ needed the best of both loves.
In time, maybe he could have both.
For now, one at a time.
He shed his clothes quietly and slipped beneath the sheets. "Laura,
I'm sorry, baby. I do love you. I'm sorry I hurt you. "
He gently placed his hand on her shoulder and drew her into his embrace,
wrapped his arms tightly around her warm frame and buried his lips into her
soft hair.
The End
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