“Hello?” JC’s voice was sleepy.
“JC? I couldn’t remember what time it was in Ireland, so I just called. Did I wake you?”
“Yeah. But that’s ok. I should be up any way...what’s up Lance?” He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.
“Well, I need your help...and I wasn’t sure if you’re going to be back in time...and I’m not going to ask about anything, because...yeah...I’m not...so, um do you think you’ll be in the states by November 12th?”
“How important is it?” JC yawned.
“Um...pretty important...”
“Lance, you’re being all cryptic, what’s the deal?”
“I’m in Michigan right now...”
“Why are you guys in Michigan?”
“We’re not. Just me. Stasia doesn’t know I’m here, and I’d like to keep it that way if you talk to her. She thinks I’m fishing with Daddy and Ford.”
“OK, so why are YOU in Michigan?”
“I can’t talk about it right now. I’ll fill you in later. Do you think you can be in Mississippi on the 12th?”
“Sure. I’ll be there if it’s important.”
“OK, so I said I wouldn’t ask, but I’m asking...has anything happened with Lyn yet? Is she still throwing stuff at you?”
“Nope. No luck yet. I’m not sure if we’re going to be able to work this out.”
“I’m sorry. I was really hoping this would all work out. If you need anything, CALL!”
. “I will. Thanks Lance.”
“Take care JC. I’ll talk to you later.”
JC shut his phone off and settled back into his pillow. Lyn snuggled back up to his side, “What did Lance want?”
“I have no idea. He’s in Michigan and couldn’t tell me why. Stasia thinks he’s fishing with his Dad and Ford.”
“Oh.” She yawned and pushed her hair back off of her cheek. “Why aren’t we together?”
“I don’t want to deal with them right now, not to mention the fact that I want to see the looks on their faces when we show up together.”
“Oh. OK.”
Just as they were both settling back into sleep, Lyn’s phone rang. “Lyn McLachlan.” She answered without opening her eyes.
“Lyn, it’s Lance.”
“Hi Lance. Did you get the contracts I sent?”
“I have no clue. I think Jamie said something about it. That isn’t why I’m calling.”
“What’s up?”
“Lyn, I need you back in Mississippi on November 12th. Will that work for you?”
“The 12th? Sure. I don’t see why not. What’s on the 12th?”
“Um...I’ll tell you about it later.”
“Is everything OK?”
“Huh? Yeah. Everything’s fine.”
“OK. I’ll be home on the 12th then.”
“Thanks Lyn. So, um...how’s it going with JC?”
“I have no idea. He’s still sleeping on the front lawn as far as I know.”
“Oh. Have you guys talked at all?”
“He talks, I throw things. So far the arrangement is working out.”
“Man, I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“Shoot! I’ve got to go. I’ll call you later.”
“OK. Talk to you then.” She hung up. “Was I convincing?”
“Brilliant.” He opened his eyes, “We might as well get up. What do you want to do today?”
“I want to have breakfast in bed.”
“I think that can be arranged. Then what?”
“I want to read the paper together, in bed.”
“I like that. Anything after that?”
She blushed, “Well...I have a few ideas, all of which involve the two of us and this bed.”
“Ideas?”
“Mmm hmm.” She kissed his neck and her fingers stretched out across his bare chest.
“What kind of ideas?”
“Can I suggest you just follow my lead on this one?” She mumbled against his shoulder.
She worked her way down his chest and began kissing his navel. JC’s eyes shut instinctively and he moaned. Her fingers lightly brushed over his arms and chest when they made their way to the waistband of his pajama bottoms, his eyes flew open, his hands went under her arms and he hauled her up over his chest. He pushed her hair back away from her confused eyes and kissed her forehead, “What are you doing Sweetpea?” His voice was soft and gentle.
Her shoulders fell a little and she looked at him with frustrated eyes, “I was TRYING to seduce you.”
He caressed her cheek and his fingers tangled in her hair, “Why?”
“Why?” She squinted at him, “I thought that was self explanatory.”
“Why would you want to seduce me?” His blue eyes were searching her face for some unspoken answer.
Lyn sat up straight and looked down at the man laying next to her, “I feel like we’ve crossed a line, an unspoken line. We’ve been tested, and I think we passed, I know we passed, because we’re here. We are stronger now than we have ever been. We’ve started fresh and I feel closer to you...” Her eyes were locked on his and not faltering.
“You really want to be with me in that way? You trust me that much?”
Understanding suddenly dawned on her, “You know I’m not mad don’t you? You know I LOVE you don’t you? JC you know you’re forgiven don’t you?” She took his hand in hers, “We are going to be ok. We are going to get through everything in life, TOGETHER.”
JC’s face twisted for a moment and then his hands went to her cheeks, “I have never deserved you.”
“Nonsense.”
“I love you. I mean I REALLY love you.”
“I know.” She kissed his palm, “I know.”
“Never leave me, please never give up on me.”
“I wouldn’t think of it.” She laid down next to him again with her cheek on his shoulder, “JC, this isn’t something I just thought of on the spur of the moment.”
His arms wrapped around her and he kissed the top of her head, “I need you. I have no idea why I was stupid enough to think I could deal with anything without you.”
“Let’s just go on. I know we can’t forget about it, but we can move past it. Let’s get beyond it. JC, YOU need to forgive yourself too.”
“Maybe I will someday.”
She leaned up on her elbow and looked down at him, “Let me help you.”
JC reached up and cupped her cheek, running his thumb over her cheek, “Sweetpea, I need time. I NEVER thought I’d say this to you, but we need to wait. I...can’t be with you that way until I can look myself in the mirror. I can’t violate you.”
The pain and fear in his voice made her heart constrict, “Oh God! If you aren’t ready, fine. But JC, you wouldn’t be VIOLATING me, you couldn’t!”
He sat up and sighed, “What HAVEN’T I violated. Your trust, your heart, every feeling and emotion you have. I just CAN’T risk taking the one thing I HAVEN’T hurt yet.”
Lyn sat up next to him and nodded her head, “So do you want to make breakfast of shall I?”
He smiled, “I’ll do it.” He threw back the covers and slid out of the bed, “Thanks for...being understanding.”
She shrugged, “Hey, I know when to give up. I’m not getting any play, I can deal with that.”
“You DID NOT just say that!”
“Oh yes I did. Not get your woman some food!” She threw back her head and laughed.
“Dear Lord. You must be starving to death, because you’re losing it!”
“I’m just in a good mood. I’m joking, but I am starving!”
“Then I’ll be right back.”
Lance’s leg was bouncing fast as he sat in the small lobby. Lonnie put a big hand on his knee and sighed, “WHY are you nervous? I have seen you more relaxed meeting the President.”
“This is more important then meeting the President.”
Josh Adams walked around the corner and smiled brightly, “How is my favorite nephew?”
“Good Uncle Josh!” Lance stood up and hugged the man tightly. “Momma and Daddy send their love.”
“Send mine. What about Stasia? She didn’t send hers?” He put his arm around the younger man’s shoulders and guided him back into his office.
Lance sat in a chair across from his uncle, “Uncle Josh, is Jess here today?”
“Sure she is. Why do you ask?”
“Would it be ok with you if she came in too?”
“Of course that’s ok with me. What’s going on Lance?”
“I’ll fill you in as soon as Jess gets here.” Lance began chewing on a hangnail.
Josh picked up his phone and hit a button, after waiting a second he said, “Jessica, could you please come to my office? Thank you.”
The two men sat in silence until the door flew open and Jess walked in, “What’s up Josh? Hey Lance.” She stopped short and turned back around, “LANCE! What in the HELL are you doing here?”
Lance stood up and hugged her tightly, “Hi Jess.” He kissed her on the forehead.
“Where’s Stasia?”
“She’s at home.”
“Why didn’t she come with you?”
“She doesn’t know I’m here.” He sat down again.
Jess flopped down on the couch and looked from Lance to Josh and back at Lance, “She doesn’t know you’re here? Why not? Is she ok?”
“She’s fine. She’s great.” A soft smile touched his mouth.
Josh rested his elbows on his desk, “Lance, are you going to tell us why you flew up here without Stasia knowing about it?”
“I needed to ask the two of you something.”
“GOOD GOD BASS! Stop beating around the bush!” Jess rolled her eyes.
Lance looked at Josh, “Stasia looks at you as the only father she’s ever known.”
“I see her as one of my own.” Josh grinned, “One of our own.”
Lance nodded. “And Jess, you know you’re like her sister.”
“Right. And the point is?”
Josh chuckled, “Jessica, let the boy finish. This is obviously important to him.”
Lance grinned at his uncle, “You’re right. This is important to me. This is the most important thing I’ve ever done. Jess, the whole point of this trip is to ask you and Josh for your blessings.”
Josh was beaming and Jess cocked her head to the side, “Blessings? For what?”
“I want to ask Stasia to marry me.”
“NO WAY!” Jess spring to her feet.
“No?’ Lance began sweating.
“NOT NO! ‘NO WAY!’ as in I can’t believe this! You, Mr. Popstar, Mr. Hollywood, Mr. Twenty houses, Mr. NSYNC is asking ME for MY blessing to marry MY BEST FRIEND!”
Lance ran his hand over his hair, “Yeah, that’s pretty much what’s going on here.”
“You’ve got balls!” Jess grinned, “You want her? YOU CAN HAVE HER!” She hugged him.
“Thanks Jess.” He turned to Josh, “Uncle Josh?”
“You had my blessing the first time I saw you two together. I can’t believe she is OFFICIALLY going to be part of our family. Congratulations!”
Lance smiled, “Thank you!”
Jess flopped back down, “So do you need help buying a ring?” She smirked at him.
“I already bought it.” His eyes lit up.
“YOU DID?” She leaned forward.
“Yeah.” He nodded.
“Well let’s see it.”
“It’s locked in the safe at the office.”
“Should have brought it for me to check it out. She might hate it.” She leaned back, throwing her arm over the back of the couch.
“She won’t hate it.” He challenged her.
“You’re probably right.” She shook her head, “You take very good care of her.”
“You have my word.”
November 12, 2001, Jackson Mississippi (1:15pm)
“What time is everyone supposed to be here tomorrow?” Stasia asked as she scrubbed the corner of the bathroom floor, behind the sink. Lance was leaning casually against the doorframe watching her as her ponytail bobbed in the same rhythm and her scrub brush. She was dressed in jeans and a Michigan State sweatshirt. She had bare feet and yellow rubber gloves. She wiped her forearm across her forehead, “Harry?”
“Huh?”
“Good LORD! I asked what time everyone is getting here tomorrow.”
“I have no idea. I think JC and Lyn get in on separate flights at 10:00 and noon. Justin gets here sometime in the middle. Everyone else...I’ll have to check the list.”
“You don’t know?” Her eyebrow shot up.
“Not off the top of my head.” He shrugged, “So I’m going to take the trash out.”
“OK. While you’re outside, check on Jake and Tipperary. I suppose they should both have bathes.”
“I’ll take care of it. When you’re done down here, jump in the shower and change. Stacy and Ford will be here at three.”
She sat back on her heels, “Did I tell you the new tile is in?”
“The black and white? For the bathroom downstairs?”
She nodded, “Yep. We can begin our home improvement project whenever we want.”
“I say we start as soon as we get back from Europe.”
“It’s a date.” She threw her scrub brush into the bucket, “Done. I’m hitting the showers.”
“Alright. I’ll check the dogs.” Lance waited for the shower to start running and Stasia to begin singing ‘Vision Of You’ before he went out to the front of the house and unlocked the gate. As soon as the gate rolled back, cars began pulling into the driveway. Chris was hanging out the window screaming to Joey in the next car. Lance sprinted back up the stairs and quickly changed.
Stasia was still in the shower when Lance ran back down the stairs and out into the yard. He found his mother helping Dani hang a floral garland near the pool, “MOMMA!” Lance came to a halt next to her, “Do you have it?”
“His mother stepped down off of the bench she was standing on and cupped both of his cheeks, “I am so proud of you today. I love you.” She reached into her skirt pocket and produced a small blue box, tied with a white satin ribbon. “Go get her!” She kissed her son and hugged him tightly.
“I love you too.” He kissed her cheek and made his way up to the house. Justin stopped Lance on the deck and hugged him. “Have you heard from Lyn, J?”
“She and JC are on the same flight from Ireland. They should be here in a couple of hours.” Justin smiled.
“Has she told you anything?”
“I don’t think it’s going to work out man. She was still throwing stuff. She has a major temper, and he really screwed up, I really thought the journal would help.”
“So did I.” Lance nodded.
“Why are you talking to me right now? Shouldn’t you be asking your amazingly beautiful girlfriend to marry you? If you wait much longer I’m going to knock you over, steal that ring and ask her myself.”
“I better get in there then.”
“This is cool. Thanks for letting us all be here.”
“Thanks for being here. OK...I’m gonna go do this before she comes outside and sees all of this.”
Lance made his way up to their bedroom and sat in his chair. Stasia came out of the bathroom dressed in black skirt and tights with a red twin set, “You already changed! Good.” She crossed the room and kissed the top of his head.
“Millie, what do you think of our room?”
She looked around, “I like it...why?”
“I was thinking it needs more of your stuff.”
“I have a lot of stuff in here.” She put her earrings in and sat down soundly on his lap, “Did you notice what I did here? I sat down, not kicking my feet.”
Lance smiled gently, “You’ve come a long way.” He laced her fingers with his and looked down at them, “Millie, we need to talk.”
She cocked her head, “What’s up? You look...strange.” She ran her fingertips over his forehead.
He stood up with her in his arms and set her back down in his chair, “So remember we were talking about this house a while ago?”
“Yeah. I love this house. You’re never selling this house.” She smiled up at him.
“Why not?” He shoved his hands into his pockets.
Her eyes began glowing instantly, “The most amazing moments in my life have happened at this house.” She blushed a little, “In this room. Our first date. My first giant snake.” She reached her hand out and he took it, “The first time I ever made love was here.”
“Before I brought you here, this was my house. I loved it here. Then you came and made this a home. You have changed my life and I will never be the same person I was before the day you walked into that airport in Hawaii.”
Stasia smiled at him, “You are so sweet. If I would have known what was waiting for me here, I would have left Josh YEARS ago.”
“You know I love you right? I mean, you know that I would do anything for you and that I love you with my whole heart.....” Lance stood in front of her.
“HONEY! You’re shaking! What’s wrong?” She turned her face up.
“I want you with me forever. I never want to lose you. We have been to hell and back and I never want to be without you again...”
“Harry, I’m not going anywhere.” He was at her eye level now and she cupped his cheeks, “I love you. I cannot live without you. Why are you worried? Please don’t ever doubt my feelings for you.”
“Millie Darlin’ I’m not worried. Could you PLEASE not interrupt me for a second here?”
“Sorry. You’re just worrying me and I...” He kissed her soundly and she smirked, “I’ll just be shutting up now.”
“Thanks. What I have been TRYING to say is I love you and I never want you to go anywhere.” He narrowed his eyes when she started to speak again. “Anastasia, my Millie...” they both smiled, “...will you marry me?” He pulled out the ring box and flipped it open.
It wasn’t until that point that Stasia realized Lance was not squatting in front of her, he was on one knee. She stared at him dumbfounded, “What?”
He smirked, “Millie, will you marry me?”
“Oh MY GOD! YES! YES! YES! I’LL MARRY! YOU!” She threw here arms around his neck and tears began rolling down her cheeks.
“No crying!” He kissed her cheeks, “Look Darlin’ it’s a pretty ring! Please don’t cry.”
Stasia looked down at the ring with dazed eyes, “It’s amazing.”
“Look inside.”
Stasia looked inside the ring and began sobbing. Inside the ring Lance had engraved, And So It Goes...and goes.... “I don’t believe that this is my life.”
Lance smiled and began speaking in his best game show host voice, “Anastasia Blake, this is your life! Today you have agreed to marry a man who is going to drag you all over the world, not keeping you in the same place long enough to figure out where you are. THEN, he is going to make you work for him. You will have to do all of the hard work and he will be grateful and try to help, but he will be pretty much useless. The only real thing he has to offer you is his love and a future that is going to be a huge roller coaster ride that you’ll have to take that roller coaster ride in front of the entire world. How do you feel about that?”
She looked straight into his eyes and shook her head slowly, “You know what...I hadn’t though of it like that. When you put it like that I’d have to say that I have never...”
Lance held the ring toward her, “DID YOU SEE THE PRETTY RING?”
“...Been more sure of anything in my life.”
“You’re joking now?”
“I’m HAPPY now. I joke when I’m happy. I also joke when I am trying HARD to stop crying.”
“I’ll have to remember that.” He rolled his eyes, “So, Miss Smarty Pants, do I get to put this ring on your finger?”
“Oh God YES! PLEASE put that ring on my finger.” Lance slipped it on her left ring finger and they both looked at it. “It beautiful. Harry, this is EXACTLY the ring I would have picked out.”
She slid off of the chair, knocking him onto his back he laughed and wrapped his arms tightly around her, “I picked it out all by myself. I’m REALLY excited it fits.”
“I love it. I mean I REALLY love it. I don’t think I’m going to be able to stop looking at it.” She rested her head on his shoulder and they both looked at it. She kissed him lightly and then increased the pressure of her lips on his. He rolled her onto her back and her fingers dove into his hair and then began working on the buttons of his shirt. He pushed her cardigan sweater off of her shoulder and kissed the skin he had just revealed. She pushed at his shirt and he leaned back a little frantically pulling his arms out of the sleeves, his hand found her thigh and he gently ran his hand up and down. Her lips moved to his neck and he moaned. His head whipped up and he leaned up on his arms. He looked down at her, and then out the french doors. “What’s wrong?” She propped herself up on her elbows and found his neck with her lips.
“Um...just....oh I love that...yeah, nothing’s wrong...Millie, we’re going to have to put this on hold for a little while.”
“Why?” She whispered against his collarbone.
“Because our friends and family are all down by the pool, waiting to celebrate with us.”
She froze with her lips against his chest, “Huh?”
“Everyone is here. BAD planning on my part. I didn’t factor THIS into my plan.”
She flopped back onto the floor, “Everyone is here? NOW?”
He looked at her pitifully, “I am SUCH an idiot.”
She shook her head slowly, “No. You aren’t an idiot, you just should have factored THIS into the plan.”
Lance flopped down next to her, “Well, we could...”
“RIGHT! How long ago did everyone get here? You know very well that Chris will be on the balcony very soon.”
“I hate myself right now.” He rubbed both hands over his face.
“Well I happen to love you.” She sat up, “Let’s look at it this way, the sooner we go down there and celebrate with our loved ones, the sooner they will leave.”
“Good thinking!” He reached for his shirt.
JC looked over at Lyn who smiled brightly, “How are they going to react?”
“I think that no one will even notice. Lance has asked Stasia to marry him by now, you and I being together isn’t even going to be noticed.” JC pointed out.
“That’s true.” She nodded, “When he called back to tell us about this whole plan, I thought I was going to cry my eyes out. This whole thing is just so sweet. And asking Josh and Jess, the boy is getting HUGE credit for that.”
“Sweetpea, this IS Lance we’re talking about. You knew when he did it, he’d do it the right way.” JC punched the code into the security box and the gate rolled open. He parked their rental car behind the long line of cars in the drive. He walked around to her side of the car and opened her door. “This should be one hell of a party.” He took her hand in his and the began walking. As they walked down the path next to the house they could hear voices and music and laughter. When the group came into view, it was obvious that everyone was happy. JC pointed to Lance and Stasia, “They look so happy.” Lance was standing behind her with his arms wrapped tightly around her waist. His chin was resting on her shoulder and she was whispering something into his ear.
She squeezed hand, “There is A LOT to be happy about today. We should know.”
“I feel like we’re all going to be ok. I feel that way for the first time in a long time. We all have so much to be happy about. There is nothing this group of people can’t get through together. We are going to eat Reagan and Powers alive. They have screwed with the wrong group.”
She stopped and pointed at him, “OK mister. No more talking about those two today. We are not thinking about anything negative today. Two of our best friends are going to be getting married. We are together and stronger than ever. ONLY HAPPY!”
Justin was looking for Joey when he noticed the pair standing on the top of the hill. Lyn was shaking her finger in JC’s face and JC had his hands on his hips. Lance and Stasia walked up next to Justin. She bumped him with her hip, “What are you looking at?” She followed his line of sight, “Oh no.”
None of them were prepared for what happened next. JC said something in response to her and her head went back. She laughed and then he bent his head to kiss her. Stasia turned to Lance and kissed him soundly, “This is the BEST day EVER!”
“I think you may be right about that!”
Justin was already jogging up the hill to meet JC and Lyn. He scooped Lyn up and spun her around, “L.S.! YOU’RE BACK!”
“Yep.” She roughed her hand over his head, “Put me down.”
He set her down next to JC and turned to the other man, “Hey.”
JC eyed Justin carefully, “Thanks man.”
“For what?”
“Giving me a second chance. With Lyn...and with you.”
Justin smirked, “Who said I was giving you a second chance? I’m looking for a new fifth member.”
JC smiled, “I owe you.”
“We’ll work out a payment plan.” Justin hugged him.
Lance and Stasia walked up and hugged JC and Lyn, “Welcome home.” Lance shook JC’s hand, “Looks like it all worked out for the best.”
JC looked down at Lyn, “Yeah. Yeah it did. Lyn was crazy enough to take my sorry butt back.”
“Nothing sorry about your butt.” Lyn grinned.
Justin covered his ears with his hands, “I DON’T want to hear crap like that!”
Lyn looked at Stasia and smiled, “So, what’s new with you?”
“Um...let’s see.” Stasia slipped her arm through Lyn’s and they began walking toward the pool together. “The tile is in for the bathroom, so Lance and I are going to re-tile it soon. Momma and I went shopping yesterday and I bought a really cute dress. Jake had his check up and he’s in perfect health, the vet says he’s perfect. Lance is considering a new movie. Um...let’s see, what else, oh...we’re getting married...”
Lyn giggled, “So let’s see it!”
Stasia tilted her hand back and forth, “LOOK at it shine! It’s all sparkly!”
“Congratulations!” Lyn hugged her tightly, “I am SO happy for you guys!”
“Thanks. I’m pretty happy for you too. Looks like things are better with you guys.”
“I have so much to tell you. You are not going to believe everything that has happened and why.”
“So he was able to explain...”
“Brenna. Yeah. I don’t want to get into the whole thing today because we’re celebrating your engagement, but we need to sit down and talk soon.”
“Anything you want.” Stasia smiled, “Are you hungry?”
“Starving!”
“Let’s get you some food and we’ll chat. I want to hear all of the gory details! So when did you stop throwing stuff at him?”
“I guess it was about two weeks ago.”
“TWO WEEKS! And we didn’t know you guys were back together?”
“We were just trying to be...together.”
“Hey, I’ll never second guess you. I just hope you both know how much you guys can count on one another.”
“I know it. We just have a few...minor issues to work out.”
“Such as?”
Lyn smirked, “Trust me...you DON’T want to know.”
“Why not? I’d be happy to help...the only issue I can’t fix for you is...”
“Sex.”
“Oh my. Yeah, ok so you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” Stasia giggled.
“Oh, we’ll talk...just not right now.”
Stasia’s eye had an evil glint, “Good.”
Dev crossed the lawn and stopped in front of her sister, “How was GrandDa?”
Lyn smirked, “When did you figure it out?”
“It took me at least twenty minutes after I found out you left. Where else would you have gone?”
Lyn took a step back, “Devony, I love you.”
Dev looked down at her stomach, “All of me?”
“LOOK AT YOU! You’re starting to show. Look at your tiny tummy!” She fell to her knees in front of her sister, and placed her hand on her stomach, “Hello in there. It’s aunt Lyn, how’s my baby?”
JC ran over and dropped down next to her and shoved her a little, “Move over! Hi baby! JC is here too! I’m here too!”
Dev rubbed her stomach, “Uncle JC finally brought Aunt Lyn home, Sweetie.”
JC sat back on his heels and looked up at Dev, “Uncle JC?”
“Well yeah. What did you think we’d call you?” Dev smiled and roughed his hair.
JC stood up and helped Lyn to her feet, “Sweetpea, you’ve been hungry since we got on the plane. You really need to eat something before you end up passing out.”
Lyn took one look at him and smirked, “Stop trying to play it cool. Go ahead.” She rolled her eyes at him.
“Yeah you’re right...” He hung his head and then scooped Dev up in his arms and squeezed her, “UNCLE JC? I LOVE THAT MORE THEN YOU WILL EVER KNOW!!! I’m going to be an uncle! AN UNCLE!” He set Dev down and talked to her stomach, “HI BABY! UNCLE JC IS OUT HERE WAITING FOR YOU!”
The entire group laughed and JC looked around at them as if they were all crazy, “What’s so funny? I don’t see any of you fools becoming an Uncle.”
Lyn took his hand, “Are we all going to have to call you Uncle JC from now on?”
“YOU can call me whatever you want.” He winked at her.
Justin covered his ears again, “We’ve TALKED about this! I don’t need to hear this stuff.”
It was dark and the candles floating in the pool, along with the torches around the pool deck gave the entire area a warm glow. JC was sitting on a bench by himself watching Lyn talk to Dani and Angela about Ireland. Stasia sat down nest to him and dropped her head down onto his shoulder, “Hi ya!”
He kissed the top of her head, “Hi ya.”
“Have you heard the news? Lance and I are getting married. Want to see my pretty ring? It’s all sparkly.”
JC laughed and obediently looked at her ring, “It’s very pretty, and I like how it sparkles.”
“Yeah, I like that part too.” She grinned.
“So you’re going to be an old married woman soon.”
“So it would seem. I am about to make a lot of teenaged girls very unhappy.”
“I bet a lot of them will be happy for you guys.”
“I’m sure you’re right. My head is just spinning. How are YOU holding up?” She sipped her drink.
“I told Lyn we couldn’t have sex.”
Stasia sprayed Cosmopolitan all over his cheek, “OH GOD! I’M SORRY JC!”
He wiped his sleeve across his face, “It’s ok. I didn’t set that up very well. See I’m looking for a little advice here. I don’t know what to do, and you’re a girl and well yeah so...”
“OK, so explain to me what happened here.” Stasia shook her head to clear it.
JC leaned his elbows on his knees, “I’m SUCH a bastard. I did all this crap to try to protect her, and I just hurt her. And I hurt her BAD. And I don’t deserve to be with her, let alone WITH her.”
“JC, you are NOT a bastard. You were stupid, we ALL agree on that point, but that doesn’t make you evil or a snake.”
“How can I...um...I mean how can we do that, if I can’t forgive myself for hurting her. I mean, I love her so much and I want to make all of this up to her. I want to make her know that I will never hurt her again.”
“OK, I have two points here. First, why is it so hard for you to forgive yourself, if SHE HAS FORGIVEN YOU? And second, JC, HONEY trust me, this is not the last time you’re going to hurt her.”
“What do you mean?”
“Do you know what Lance said to me yesterday? He said that I took control of a meeting he was trying to run and that I was overbearing and took away his credibility with a movie producer he was trying to establish as a contact.”
“Geeze! That’s a little harsh.”
“And it hurt my feelings, but you know what? He was right. I completely undermined his position because I thought he might be letting the guy slip by. He hurt my feelings, by calling me on it and telling me the truth about how my actions made him feel. But THAT is why we’re ok today. Him telling me hurt me, but my doing it hurt him. In his eyes, I didn’t trust his ability to close the deal. Which couldn’t be further from the truth, but that’s the way I made him feel.”
“What does that have to do with this?”
She blushed a little, “Well, last night we made up. We talked everything through and explained our feelings and we’re a tiny bit closer for having gone through that.”
“So you made up...AND?”
“JC, after we made up we, uh...well...um...”
“OH! OH! Yeah you um...yeah.”
“See, there is no greater act of love. You cannot possibly be closer to a person then you are at that point in time. You are never more vulnerable then you are when you are making love, you are never more trusting then you are when you are together in that way. Maybe by making love, Lyn wanted to show you the only way she knows how that you are forgiven and that she wants tp be with you, completely.” She looked across the pool at Lyn, “I think she’s a lot like me. I think that in her mind she has nothing else to give. Her body, so to speak, is the most precious gift she has to give and it sounds to me like she wants to give it to you.”
“But I don’t deserve her most precious gift.”
Stasia laughed, “That sounds like a horrible line from an after school special. JC, you shouldn’t do anything until YOU are ready, but I think that she wouldn’t have tried to move in that direction if she didn’t think you were both ready. She is going to wait forever for you if that’s what it takes, because she loves you. Maybe YOU need to get past this. It sounds to me like she has already started moving beyond this whole thing.”
“So what you’re telling me is that I should sleep with my girlfriend.”
“I’m not telling you any such thing. I’m telling you that you have to do what’s best for you and Lyn. But I’m also telling you that it seems like YOU need to let go of the guilt and the fear of hurting her and the pain you got from hurting her. Because she is NOT the type of girl who would be here with you tonight if she hadn’t thought the whole situation through thoroughly and come to the conclusion that YOU are WORTH forgiving.”
He nodded slowly, “How did you get so smart?”
“Trial and error. I have learned most of this stuff the hard way. I happen to know how it feels to hurt people you care about when you mistakenly think you are protecting them.” She turned her face to his, “I HAVE faced it and I know I got lucky. I know that I’m lucky my relationship worked.”
JC cringed at the use of his own words. He could see the conversation clearly in his head, he had been so cruel to Stasia that his still felt bad about it, she hadn’t spoken to him for weeks. He had flown to Mississippi to beg for her forgiveness.
“JC, you’re remembering the wrong part of that whole mess. There are two things I want you to remember about the argument you and I had. First, you and I are better friends for getting through that. And second, we made a promise. We need to help each other.”
JC thought back to their conversation in Mississippi.
“Why are you here JC?”
“I needed to talk to you.”
“Didn’t you say enough to me? What more could you possibly say to me?”
“Stasia, if I could go back, if I could take it back, I would. GOD! I don’t know what came over me. I don’t know where that came from. I KNOW it’s not the truth. I KNOW that the truth is the exact opposite of everything I said to you. I KNOW that you and Lance love each other more than life itself. I KNOW you only ran to Michigan to try to protect Lance, that you loved him then and you love him now. I KNOW that you were trying to help me, and most of all I know you were right. I will do ANYTHING to make this up to you. I will do ANYTHING to help you forgive me, because I love you. You are so important to me, you are like a sister to me and it would kill me if I thought I’d lost you because I am an idiot.”
“If I could go back, if I could take it back, I would never have left that day. I never would have run away from Lance. I lay in bed at night, wrapped in his arms, listening to him sleep, and I pray that he will forgive me. I hurt him, I hurt him so badly I will never forgive myself for that. I will spend the rest of my life trying to make up for that one act of desperation. You opened that wound, you opened it and made me remember.”
“He forgave you for that the second it happened. Stasia, you were trying to protect him, he knows that WE ALL KNOW THAT! You can’t beat yourself up forever. FORGIVE YOURSELF!”
“I guess we have even more in common now.”
“What do you mean?”
“We both have that one moment, the moment we made the decision to do something stupid, that we wish we could take back. I know how it feels JC. I guess it hurt a little more because it was coming from you. I’ll tell you what, let’s make a deal.”
“What kind of deal?”
“I’ll help you, and you help me.”
“Do what?”
“Forgive ourselves.”
“I promised you I’d help you forgive yourself. You have so much in here,” She put her hand against his heart, “That you need to let go of. JC, let yourself be happy.”
“You’re the best.” He smiled at her.
“You’re not so bad yourself.”
~Chapter Twenty-Nine~
~Main~
