He stopped, but stared off into space. She moved to stand in front of him, “You want to slow down so I can keep up?”
“You don’t have to come with me.” He began walking again, this time more slowly.
She watched her shoes as they walked toward the street, “I can’t believe Amanda is in JC’s family room. This is all so strange.”
He looked down at her head and rolled his eyes, “Yeah. This is strange.”
Morgan looked up with angry eyes, “You know what? I didn’t bring her here. You don’t need to be pissed off at me.”
“I know.” He sighed and turned to look up the street, “It’s just that they are all sitting in there, with AMANDA. Am I the only one who remembers what happened? Am I the only one who remembers being in the hospital when we didn’t know how bad Stasia was? When Chris was all covered with blood and she almost died?”
She shook her head, “No. You’re not the only one that remembers. Stasia remembers, she had panic attacks and was afraid of crowds until a few months ago. We all remember how horrid it was. I don’t think I’ve ever been that scared.”
“I just don’t understand it.” He sighed.
“I know.” She lightly laid her had on his arm, “But Justin, we have to respect Stasia decision on this, we need to know that she’s going to make the right decision.”
“I swear to God. I just want to understand SOMETHING, ANYTHING!” He threw his hands in the air and growled, “When did our lives go so nuts?”
She stopped and pulled him to a stop next to her. When he looked down at her she wrapped her arms tightly around his waist. It took a moment but his arms wrapped around her shoulders and his chin came to rest on top of her head. It was the first time in months that he had been able to physically hold her and draw strength from her. The fact that she was just holding him because he needed to be held, without the tension that had been going on between them, made his heart swell.
He expected her to release him and blush, then shy away from him again, but she tightened her hold on him and pressed her cheek against his chest. A car drove by them and slowed a little as it passed. Justin sighed, “I suppose we should go back inside.”
“We can stay out here all day if you want.” She took a half step back and looked up at him.
“I wish. We have to, I have to apologize to the psychopathic stalker, attempted murderer.”
She laughed, and reached for his hand, “Think of it this way: I can take her. If she even looks at Stasia funny, I’ll take her out back and school her on the finer points of getting her ass kicked.”
He swung their arms a little, “Now THAT I’d like to see.” He tilted his head thoughtfully, “You know...you’re right. You could take her.”
Morgan smirked, “Oh I know it.”
Lance looked around the table as JC walked around filling all of the wine glasses. He smirked and took his glass, “Most of you know about the tradition in my family, but we’ve got a few new people with us this year so I’ll explain. In my family, we go around the dinner table on Thanksgiving and we all tell each other something we’re thankful for.”
Chris smirked, “You really going to make up do this aren’t you?”
Lance nodded, “This has been such a crazy year, that I just think it might be nice to remember the good stuff.”
Stasia smiled proudly at him, “I know what I’m thankful for.”
Justin threw his hands up, “We all know what you’re thankful for and I have explained to you that I do not want to hear about your sex life.”
Stasia rolled her eyes and Morgan punched Justin in the arm, “That ISN’T what she was going to say you idiot. Go ahead Stasia.”
Smiling, Stasia continued, “I am so thankful that I have found a home. There were so many nights I sat alone feeling sorry for myself. I honestly thought I was cursed for a while, but then I met all of you,” She turned to face Lance, “and YOU. You have changed my life in so many ways, you have taught me how to love and how to be loved. I am thankful for my amazing fiancé, and the family that we have all come together to form.”
Lance leaned over and kissed her forehead. He smiled, “I am so thankful that we have found one another. I never thought that I would ever find someone that would complete me. I am happier than any one person should ever be. I have the most incredible woman, and the most amazing friends. I am thankful for everyone at this table.”
Justin, who was sitting to Lance’s right smiled, “OK, I give. I’ll be thankful. I am thankful for moments like this, where the people I love most are with me. With the exception of my parents, everyone I love is here. The moments I have my brothers and Morgan, my friends and their loved ones are the moments I am happiest and I am most thankful for.”
JC sat down after filling his own glass and leaned forward, “What about you Morgan? What are you thankful for?”
Morgan smiled softly, “Not what, who. You all know that I love you, but in life, I am most thankful for...Justin. He has been the only constant in my life, the one person who was my support system when my own family couldn’t be. Justin is the one person who has always, and will always be there for me. I am thankful every moment of my life for the day I dropped my math book in the hall in school and Justin picked it up for me.” A fat tear fell from her eye and she set her napkin down next to her plate.
Justin couldn't believe that passion in his friends voice when she spoke. By the time she was finished she had tears streaming down her face.
"Jus-sin why is Mor-in crying?" Steven lunged over Justin to comfort his Mor-in.
"Don't cry Mor-an. Jus-sin will make it better." He placed his little hands on her cheeks and squeezed slightly.
"Can you guys excuse us? Morgan and I need a minute." Justin handed Steven to Lance, who helped the little boy settle on his lap, and then stood up.
"Of course J." JC nodded as Justin pulled Morgan out of her chair and into his arms. "Come on Woman you and me are gonna go talk. We’ll be right back.”
JC smiled, “This has already been an interesting day.”
Justin they walked out onto the front porch as she tried to regain control of her breathing, “Mor?” He touched her shoulder.
She sighed, “It’s exhausting.”
“What is?” They sat down on the step together, and Justin picked up a pebble, he tossed it in the air and caught it.
She pushed her hair back with both hands, letting her head hang down for a long moment, “Trying to deny the fact that I’m in love with you.”
The pebble hit the pavement, “What?”
“I’m tired. It’s taking too much out of me, I give.” She laced her fingers together.
“Morgan, what are you saying to me? I thought you didn’t want to talk about it. I thought I had to back off and leave it alone. I thought I was supposed to stop feeling...”
“Have you? Have you stopped feeling...for me?” She bit her lower lip.
“No.” He turned to face her.
“What are we going to do? I can’t make it stop, I can’t turn it off. I love you, I’m in love with you. I want to be with you, I want to go with my heart. Damn it! I love you.” She shook her head slowly, “I love you.”
He couldn’t help but chuckle, “Damn it?”
“I tried. I didn’t want to lose what we have. I didn’t want to risk everything we have.”
He reached out and cupped her cheek, “But what if you don’t lose anything? What if we have everything to gain?”
She turned her face slightly and kissed his lightly, “Is it worth the risk?”
He ran his thumb over her lower lip, “We are worth the risk. Being with you is worth the risk to me. Morgan, I don’t know what has gotten into you, and I don’t know why this has taken so long but you KNOW I love you, you know I’m in love with you.”
“How?”
“How what?” His eyebrows drew together.
“How do you know you love me?”
“Jesus Morgan, how do I know? I know because you’re part of my heart. You’re part of my soul. I need you like I need oxygen. You are part of me. I know I love you, because I DO.”
“This might get complicated.”
He smirked, “When have our lives ever been uncomplicated?”
She laughed, “You have a point there.”
He leaned in slowly, “I’m a smart guy.”
“This is true.” She nodded.
His hand slid behind the back of her head and he pulled her closer, “Face it, I’m always right.” His lips touched her’s.
Morgan finally let all of her defenses crumble, for the first time in a long time, everything felt right. Justin touching her, kissing her, wanting her. She let her fingers find the back of his head, holding his face to her’s. He smiled against her mouth, “So why’d you cave?”
“It’s one thing to lie to myself when you’re a thousand miles away, but it’s completely another when you’re only a foot away, and I’ve never been able to lie to your face....and I’m sick of being afraid.”
He lightly brushed a lock of hair away from her eyes, “You have nothing to be afraid of. We can get through anything together.”
“Do you think we’ll be able to get through dinner with our friends tonight?” She chewed her lower lip.
“I think they are going to eat us alive.”
She sighed as she realized it was late Saturday night and she was going to have to get on a plane to go back to New Hampshire early in the morning. Justin walked into the room and kissed the top of her head, “Hey.”
“Hey.” She reached up for his hand, “Did you get the boys tucked in ok?”
He sat down next to her and pulled her back against his chest, “Yeah. They are both out cold already. This has been such a long weekend for them.”
“I think this has been a long weekend for everyone.” She closed her eyes as he pressed a kiss against her temple, “Long...but SO good.”
She laced her fingers with his as he whispered, “Why was this weekend so good?”
“Shut up.”
He chuckled, “What? I’m just saying, maybe you would have had more good weekends if you would have just LISTENED to me months ago when I tried...”
“Tried to get me in bed?” She teased.
“I was NOT trying to get you in bed!” He said defensively.
“Liar!” She scoffed.
“Well, I wouldn’t have been upset if it had happened.”
She jabbed him in the stomach with her elbow, “PIG!”
“OOF!” His breath left him in a gust.
“I cannot believe you!” She shifted so she was laying in his arm, looking up at him.
“WHAT? Would you rather have me lie to you?” He raised an eyebrow.
Her eyebrows drew together and she chewed on her lower lip for a moment, “No. No I don’t think I’d like that very much.”
He gently brushed her hair back, lowering his voice, he caressed her cheek, “You’re all soft, and you smell like...flowers or something.”
“Lavender. I’m soft because of the day of pampering at the spa today. You’re pretty soft yourself.” She rubbed his forearm.
“Do you realize this is the first time we’ve been alone since we were on the porch at JC and Lyn’s? I feel like we should be only alone.” He rubbed his thumb over her cheekbone.
She sighed, “Believe me, I’ve noticed.”
“I’m sorry. I want to just curl up and talk to you. I just want to BE with you. We are never alone.”
“I hate to break it to you, but that isn’t going to change any time soon. Lance and Stasia should be back here in a few minutes, then I have to go back to school, you have to go home to Florida, then I come home for Lyn’s trial, then back for finals, then Christmas, which I was supposed to spend with South’s family...”
“Mor! CHRISTMAS?” He stiffened a little.
“Calm down Justin! I agreed to go home with her when I was avoiding you. It was just going to be easier. I’ll talk to her about it, maybe she won’t be offended when I say I’d rather go home.”
“Oh YEAH! She’ll be thrilled. Have you forgotten she hates me?”
“She does not hate you...she’s just...not your biggest fan.” She smirked.
“I have never done a damn thing to her, there is no reason she should dislike me. She’s nuts you know.”
Morgan rolled her eyes, “Oh SHUT UP! You don’t like her either. It doesn’t make any sense that either one of you should dislike the other. I love both of you.”
He grinned evilly, “You love me more.”
“JUSTIN!”
“You DO!”
“That is horrible!” She sat up and glared at him.
He slowly leaned toward her, until his lips were just barely touching her’s, “You DO love me more, because I do this...” He captured her lower lip between his and his arms tightened around her. She relaxed in his arms and met his kiss with equal hunger. They slouched down into the pillows of the couch and began to get lost in one another. Justin’s hands were sliding up her back under her shirt when they both froze.
The sniffling near the opposite end of the couch caused both of them to turn and look. Steven was standing there in his footed pajamas which were covered with trucks, wiping at his eyes.
Morgan quickly sat up, and shifted so she was next to Justin, rather than sprawled out on top of him. Justin ran both hands over his face, “What’s wrong buddy?”
The little boy fought to control his breathing, “Mor-in wasn’t there.”
Mor covered her heart with her hand and took a sharp breath in as Justin held his arms open for his little brother, “She wasn’t where buddy?”
“At my bird-day.” He wiped at his eyes again.
Morgan pulled him off of Justin’s lap and into her own, “Oh Steven.” She kissed his temple, “Buddy, I’m not going to miss your Birthday. I promise you I will ALWAYS be there for your Birthday. You’re my buddy! I love you!”
He gave her a sad look, “I made a a in-a-tation, an you didn’ come.”
She squeezed him tighter, “It was just a dream. I’m right here, hugging you.” She rocked back and forth gently.
Justin stood up and said, “How about I come up and sit with you for a while?”
Steven reached up and let Justin pull him against his chest as he nodded and yawned, “Mor-in too.”
Morgan stood up, “Sure.”
They made their way back up to the room where the boys were sleeping. Jonathon was sprawled out on his back with one arm over his head, and the other hanging off of the edge of the bed. His left leg was on top of his blanket. Morgan walked over and rearranged his covers, tucking his leg in and folding his arm onto his chest.
Justin pulled back the covers and slipped Steven into his bed. He pulled the covers up and settled next to him on top of the blankets. Mor walked around to the other side and cuddled up next to Steven. Justin reached across the top of the pillows and slowly ran his fingers through her hair.
“Jus-sin. Sing my song.” Steven yawned.
“Ok.” He kissed the top of his head and began singing quietly.
Would you like to swing on a star
Carry moonbeams home in a jar
And be better off than you are
Or would you rather be a mule?
A mule is an animal with long funny ears
Kicks up at anything he hears
His back is brawny but his brain is weak
He's just plain stupid with a stubborn streak
And by the way, if you hate to go to school
You may grow up to be a mule
Or would you like to swing on a star
Carry moonbeams home in a jar
And be better off than you are
Or would you rather be a pig?
A pig is an animal with dirt on his face
His shoes are a terrible disgrace
He has no manners when he eats his food
He's fat and lazy and extremely rude
But if you don't care a feather or a fig
You may grow up to be a pig
Or would you like to swing on a star
Carry moonbeams home in a jar
And be better off than you are
Or would you rather be a fish?
A fish won't do anything, but swim in a brook
He can't write his name or read a book
To fool the people is his only thought
And though he's slippery, he still gets caught
But then if that sort of life is what you wish
You may grow up to be a fish
A new kind of jumped-up slippery fish
And all the monkeys aren't in the zoo
Every day you meet quite a few
So you see it's all up to you
You can be better than you are
You could be swingin' on a star
Steven was quietly snoring, with a soft smile on his face. Morgan looked across his sleeping form and smiled as she whispered, “You’re right. I think I do love you more.”
His eyebrows drew together for a moment before he smiled, understanding her comment, “South didn’t stand a chance.”
Stasia slipped quietly into the room and rubbed Morgan’s shoulder lightly, “Mor.”
Morgan’s eyes fluttered open and she squinted to force her eyes to focus, “Stasia?”
Her friend nodded and held a finger to her lips. Mor glanced around to see that sometime during the night Jonathon had joined Justin and Morgan in Steven’s bed. The three Timberlakes were all curled up on their sides, Justin perched frighteningly close to the edge of the bed, with his arm thrown across both of his brothers, holding them to him. Stasia motioned for Morgan to follow her to follow her into the hall.
Standing up and arching her back she yawned and walked into the hall, “What’s up?”
“I just wanted to make sure you made your flight. It’s already 6:15.” Stasia retied the waist of her running pants.
Morgan groaned, “How is it 6:15? I’m not ready to go.”
“I looked in your room. It’ look’s like you’re all packed.”
“Oh, I didn’t mean it like that.” Morgan sighed.
Stasia smiled warmly, “It’s not easy to go back to school, but think of it this way, the semester is almost over, then you can go home and be all lovey dovey.”
Morgan blushed slightly, “I can’t believe this.”
“I can.” Stasia slipped her arm through Morgan’s and led her toward the stairs, “How about I buy you a cup of coffee and we have a little girly chat before you have to leave? Unless you’d rather wake up Justin and have a little...time to...ahh...bond before you go.”
Morgan rolled her eyes, “Shut up Stasia!” She hugged her friend’s arm tighter, “I think I have enough time to do both before I leave.”
They made their way to the kitchen and Morgan perched on a barstool as Stasia pulled two mugs out of the cupboard and filled them with coffee. Sliding one of the mugs across to Mor, She hopped up on the counter, “So you have big news.” She winked.
“It’s not news if you already know it.” Morgan smirked.
“Whatever.” Stasia rolled her eyes, “So what happened? How did this all start? When did all of this start? How’d I miss this? I thought you guys were on shaky ground. I mean, you’d been strange with one another for a while, since....”
“Rhode Island.” Morgan said as she sipped the amber liquid steaming in her cup.
“YEAH!” Stasia nodded, “So what happened in Rhode Island?”
“We hooked up.” Morgan shrugged, “And I freaked out.”
“WHAT? Ok wait a second! You HOOKED up? Hooked up how? You didn’t...oh Lord tell me you guys...oh man. And freaked out HOW? WHY?”
Morgan sighed, “Hooked up like we made out and rolled around like a couple of junior high kids. It was...strange. I wanted to, GOD I wanted to, but it scared me. If this doesn’t work, I could lose the best friend I’ve ever had. I convinced myself that he DIDN’T like me, that it was a mistake and that I should get the heck out of that situation as fast as possible.”
“Well it’s no wonder he was such a pain in the ass.” Stasia picked up an apple and held it out, Morgan nodded and took it from her. After Stasia had picked up a second apple and bitten into it she motioned with her hand, “Go on. So you freaked, and then what?”
“Then Justin kept pestering me, so I decided the best thing to do was run. I was feeling like I needed a change even before all of this happened with him, so it was the final straw. I enrolled at UNH and figured that I’d just get away from all of my problems.”
Stasia nodded slowly, “Didn’t work huh?”
Mor smirked, “Yeah, not so much.”
“So what happened this weekend?”
“I caved. I WANT to be with Justin, who was I trying to kid? I don’t feel right without him, and now it feels even better when I’m with him. I don’t know when it happened, or how, but my feelings have changed.”
“That’s not a bad thing you know. It’s not bad to be in love.”
“It’s so complicated. You and Lance make it look so effortless.”
“Well, it shouldn’t be difficult, not the emotions. Sometime the logistics are complicated. Being in Michigan for six months wasn’t ideal, but in my heart I know how much Lance loves me, so six months of frustration is worth it in the long run.”
“I think that I’m just afraid of losing him. Actually I’m terrified. If I lose Justin, I’ve lost everything.” Mor sighed, “But right now, it feels SO right.”
A wide smile spread across Stasia’s face, and Morgan jumped when Justin’s arms wrapped around her from behind, “I don’t get lost easily, and it IS right, how could it be wrong? You’re with ME.” He kissed her temple.
She rolled her eyes, “You are so full of yourself!” Despite her sarcastic tone, she settled comfortably into his arms, “What are you doing up?”
“I woke up and you weren’t there, so I came looking for you, and here I am.”
Lance stumbled into the kitchen, his hair was standing on end, his pajama bottoms were riding low, his t-shirt was slightly twisted and he didn’t look fully awake. He shuffled forward, stepped between Stasia’s legs and wrapped his arms around her waist as he rested his head on her shoulder, “I know that Stasia is completely insane and has already gone running, but WHY are the rest of us awake at this ungodly hour?” He yawned and pried Stasia’s coffee mug out of her hands taking a long drink.
Justin laughed, “I have to take Morgan to the airport.”
Morgan craned her neck, “You don’t have to. The airport isn’t exactly the best place for you to be hanging out on a holiday weekend.”
“I know I don’t have to, I want to and I’m going to. I’m not about to ship you off to New Hampshire without spending every possible second with you.”
Lance yawned, “Aren’t they cute?”
Stasia kissed the top of his head, “Yes Harry they are.” She wiggled and he took a step back allowing her to hop down off of the counter, “We’ll watch the boys, what time should they be up?”
Justin glanced at the clock, “Jon is a sleeper, if he’s not up by nine, get him up. Steve will be up around then too. Thanks guys.”
Stasia reached back and took Lance’s hand, “You can sleep a little more if you want.”
“Sleep is good.” Lance followed her out of the kitchen.
Mor tugged down on her hat and pulled in a ragged breath, “How many times have we said good-bye to one another?”
He wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on top of her head, “I don’t know. Too many times to count.”
“This is the worst time ever.” She pressed her cheek into his chest.
“I know.” He kissed her forehead, “But you know what? We’re going to see each other in two weeks. We have been through so much worse than this. We are going to be just fine.”
Morgan growled, “Damn you!”
He leaned back and chuckled, “Hey now! What did I do now?”
“You turned me all girly!”
He pushed her hair over her shoulders and kissed her, “I happen to be very glad you’re a girl! I happen to be glad you’re MY girl.”
She began laughing, “You’re girl? I’ve turned you CORNY!”
He wrapped his arm around her neck in a gentle headlock, “Ok, that is enough picking on me!”
She straightened and slid her arms around his waist inside his jacket, “I love you.”
“I know. I love you too.” He kissed her quickly, “You know that if you need anything...”
“I just have to call.”
“Right.” He flinched when he heard her flight number called over the intercom, “Anytime you need me, I’m there.”
“Two weeks is nothing right?” She ignored the second call for her flight.
“Nothing.” He nodded, “We can do two weeks standing on one leg.”
She sighed when the flight attendant standing at the door to the airway called her row number, “That’s me.”
“Call me when you get back to school.”
“I will.” She took a step back, “I’ll talk to you tonight.”
“Have a safe flight Woman.”
She nodded and began walking to the door. He stood planted in place with his hands shoved deep in his pocket. His heart skipped a beat when she stopped, turned around and ran back to him. She threw her arms around his neck, kissed him soundly and then ran back to the door, handing the flight attendant her ticket.
