A second voice in her head screamed out to her in desperation, “DON’T LET THIS HAPPEN!”

Sitting straight up, eyes open and breathing in gasps Morgan scanned her surroundings. She felt that she was in a warm, safe place. The windows lining the wall across from her were flooding the room with bright sunlight. The soft cream colored drapes filtered the light, making it gentle on newly opened eyes. The covers bunched around her waist were soft and plush. The walls were light mushroom color, and the velvet couch was the same mushroom. The deep carpet was muffling the only sound in the room, which was a soft snore. The sound was very familiar.

Rolling over onto her side, her eyes landed on Justin laying on the floor next to the bed, covered in the blanket that was normally tossed over the arm of the chair near the windows. His head was resting on a throw pillow.

Sighing she realized that he had been afraid to leave her alone in the room. So rather than sleeping in his own bed, where he’d placed her, or any of the other beds I the house, he’d slept on the floor next to her.

The motion of her slipping out of the bed brought Justin into a sitting position. He was obviously not fully awake, but he looked frightened, “Are you ok?”

“I’m fine. I just need to take a shower.” She stood up and walked to the bathroom door, “Get in bed and get some real sleep.”

“I’ll just sleep until you’re out of the shower.” He yawned and crawled under the covers.

Once inside the bathroom, the mirror gave Morgan the first good look at herself in days. She had dark circles under her eyes, her hair was dull and knotted, her skin was pale and her cheeks looked sunken. Her fingertips lightly touched the dark circles under her eyes and a tear rolled over her fingers, she watched her reflection as it traced a path down the back of her hand. It slid to the edge of her sleeve. As the fabric absorbed the wetness, a second tear followed the same path. She shook her head and glared into her own eyes in the reflection before her, “Stop it.”

She undressed and turned on the shower. When she turned to reach for one of the wash clothes on the counter she noticed two things about her body in the huge mirror. The first thing she noticed were the four small bruises on the outside of her knee, and one on the inside. They had faded to ugly yellowish shadows, but she knew that Bob had to have left them there. The other this she noticed was her tattoo. The tattoo should have brought her mind back to a happier time, when she bonded with her friends, and she and Justin had permanently sealed their friendship in ink, but the only thing it was reminding her of right then was the fact that Bob had seen it, seen her, in a way Justin never had.

Stepping under the pounding water, she let the pain wash over her. She let herself begin to cry, and then sob. She slowly lowered herself to the floor, wrapped her arms around her legs and rested her forehead on her knees. The sobs that racked her body were violent, she wanted to go back in time, she wanted to undo what was done. She wanted Justin to look at her with light in his eyes, not fear and pain. She wanted to feel happiness and joy in her heart, she wanted what Bob had taken.

Surfacing from his sleep, Justin knew something was wrong. Rolling over onto his side, he strained to hear the sound coming from his bathroom. Through the door, and the steady sound of the shower, he could hear the crying. Throwing back the covers and running to the door he tried the knob, “MOR!” He shook the handle and his heart raced when he realized it was locked, “MORGAN! TALK TO ME! ARE YOU OK! YOU NEED TO UNLOCK THIS DOOR NOW!”

He looked around the room trying to figure out how to get into the bathroom, not seeing anything that would help him, he took a few steps back and threw his weight against the door. There was a loud crash, but the door did not budge, “MORGAN! STAY BACK FROM THE DOOR! I’M COMING IN!” The hurled himself at the door a second time.

Lance came running into the bedroom, “What’s wrong, J?”

Justin looked at him with panicked eyes, “She’s locked in there and I can hear her crying and she’s not answering me! You have to help me get in there.”

Lance ran over to stand next to Justin, “On the count of three. One...two...three!” They both went running towards the door, which opened just as they were throwing their weight against it. Both men fell in a heap on the bathroom’s marble floor.

Morgan stood above them, wrapped tightly in Justin’s terrycloth robe. She squinted at them with confused eyes, “What are you doing?”

Stasia came running through the bedroom door, tripping over her own feet trying not to get tangled in Lance and Justin’s legs. She had to use the wall to steady herself, “What’s going on? I heard Justin screaming from the patio.” She was still breathing heavily from running up the stairs.

Lance tried to get to his feet. Stasia held out her hand to him and helped him steady himself as Justin leaned up on his elbows, “I heard you crying and you didn’t answer me when I called your name so...”

Morgan cocked her head, “So you tried to break down your own bathroom door?”

“You were crying.”

She walked out into the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed, “Yeah. I’m doing that a lot lately. I’m upset. You can’t break down a door every time I’m crying.”

Stasia walked over and sat down next to her, “Are you ok?”

Morgan sighed, “Yeah. I’ll be fine...I’m just overly emotional. Thunder Punch He-Man and his trusty sidekick She-Ra over there aren’t helping anything by breaking down doors though.”

Stasia smirked, “Morgan, did you just make a funny?”

Flashing half a smile, Mor nodded, “I guess I did.”

Lance walked over, “Who you calling She-Ra?”

Stasia shook her head, “That would be you my love, that would be you.” She stood up and took his hand.

As they walked out of the room he was grumbling, “Why do I have to be the girl?”

“Harry, you’re the girl because you’re prettier than Justin.” She pulled the door closed behind them.

Justin finally got up off of the floor and looked at her, “Why were you crying?”

“I don’t know. I was crying because...I don’t know.”

“What can I do?” He walked over to stand in front of her.

Looking at the floor, she sighed, “You can stop trying to fix me.”

“I’m not trying to fix you, I’m trying to help. That’s what we do. I help you and you help me.”

“But I don’t know how you can help me right now.” She stared at her feet dangling in the air over the carpet.

He stepped forward and moved to hug her. When he wrapped his arms around her, her entire body stiffened. His heart sank and he stepped back, “I’m sorry.” He moved toward the door, wiping the back of his hand across his eyes, “I’m gonna grab a bowl of cereal.”

He was out the door and halfway down the hall when she tried calling to him, “Justin...” Rather than chase after him, she decided to get dressed before she went downstairs.

Justin walked into the kitchen to find Stasia perched on top of the counter next to the coffee pot, eating an orange and looking over some paperwork. She glanced over the rim of her glasses and immediately set down the fruit and the paper she was reviewing, “Hey, hey, hey! Come here.”

Without a word, Justin walked into her waiting arms, resting his forehead on her shoulder, he wrapped his arms tightly around her waist. He cried quietly, his shoulder shaking. Stasia’s arms tightened around him and she leaned her cheek against the side of his head. Whispering into his hair she held him tightly, “Shhh. She’s going to get through this. I promise you. She’s going to be fine.”

He sniffled a little and drew in a ragged breath, “She can’t let me hold her. It’s the only thing I can think of to do to show her I love her and it makes her get all stiff.” His voice was muffled by her sweatshirt.

“I know.” She kissed the top of his head, “But you have to understand, her BODY was violated. Right now, she’s trying to feel comfortable in her own skin. We need to give her space, she’ll come to us for physical affection when she’s ready.”

Lyn walked in through the front door, “HELLO! Anybody home?” She walked into the kitchen and raised an eyebrow at Stasia, who continued to hold Justin, “Rough morning?”

“Interesting morning.” Stasia smiled gently.

Lance came into the room yawning, “Hey Lyn.” He glanced at Stasia and Justin as he ran his hand through his hair, without commenting.

She smiled, “Hey.”

Stasia motioned with her head to the paperwork on the counter next to her hip, “That stack of junk is the last of the wedding stuff.”

Lance walked around Justin to grab the pile of paper. He handed it to Lyn who scanned it, “Looks like everything is in place. I have a little shopping to do, and then I’m ready to fly over.”

“Good.” Stasia nodded.

Justin slowly stepped back and Stasia looked into his eyes, “Better?”

He nodded and moved to get a bowl out of the cabinet, “Coffee please.”

Stasia reached into the cabinet next to her and pulled out a mug, “Lyn? Harry? Coffee?”

“Yeah.” Lance nodded from behind his newspaper.

“Please.” Lyn smiled from over Lance’s shoulder.

Taking down two more mugs she hopped down off of the counter, filled the mugs and then distributed them. She plopped down on Lance’s lap and began reading with him. Justin sat silently at the counter eating his cereal and sipping his coffee.

Lyn took down another mug, filled it and slipped out of the room. Knocking lightly on Justin’s bedroom door she waited for the quiet response, “Come in.”

Morgan was brushing her hair, which she had just finished blowing dry. Lyn smiled brightly and held out one of the coffee mugs, “Morning.”

Morgan smiled and gladly accepted the coffee mug, “Thanks.”

Lyn walked over and sat on the couch, glancing out the window at Justin’s sprawling back yard, “No problem.” She sipped her coffee and gave Morgan a thoughtful look, “So I was talking to Brenna last night...”

“You guys are ok again?” Mor Sat indian style on the floor across from her.

“Yeah.” She nodded. Morgan could tell something was up with Lyn. Like Stasia, Lyn rarely started a conversation without a specific purpose, “We are in the best place we’ve ever been. In some strange way, having her kiss JC...or pretend to kiss, or whatever, was the best thing for my relationship with her. After JC and I worked everything out, I was forced to talk to Bren about what happened. She honestly thought she was helping.”

“Kissing her boyfriend is an odd way of helping your sister.” Morgan didn’t look up from the liquid in her glass, which Lyn noticed, she still had not taken a sip of.

Lyn smiled thoughtfully, “I’ve learned a lot about my sister recently. I really never knew Bren, not the way I know you, or Stasia. I mean, I never invested the time to understand her...or why she behaves the way she does.”

“So now you understand her?” Morgan continued to study the gentle ripples in her cup, without drinking it’s contents.

“I understand her better than I did. But I’ve never had the experiences she’s had, I’ve never had to deal with the same problems she has. Bren is a lot stronger than I ever gave her credit for, she has dealt with more on her own than I ever realized. I wasn’t a very good sister to her.”

“You’re a great sister. You are always there for Cat, Dev and Lis.”

“But I wasn’t there when Bren needed me. You know, I’m her sister, I should have noticed. I should have known something was wrong, but I chalked it up to the fact that she was just a bitch. That isn’t exactly fair now is it?”

“No offence Lyn, but I’ve met Bren, she does tend to be a bitch.” Morgan still looked into her cup.

“See, but that’s the thing. I never stopped to figure out WHY Bren was a bitch. Maybe I was afraid to ask, maybe I was afraid she’d answer and I would be able to handle what she had to say.”

“If she had a problem, she could have told you. You would have helped her.”

Lyn nodded, “I would have tried.” She leaned forward resting her elbows on her knees and staring at the top of Mor’s head, “But I don’t know how I would have helped her, just like none of us know how to help you right now. Mor, if you need someone to talk to, we’re all here. But maybe you would feel better if you talked to someone who understands exactly what it feels like to be in your shoes. If you think that would help, Bren is willing to talk to you.”

Morgan’s head whipped up and her eyes locked with Lyn’s, “Brenna?”

“Was raped.” Lyn looked down as pain washed over her face, “She didn’t tell anyone. She was ashamed, it was a date rape. She thought that she had encouraged him somehow or given him the idea that she was willing.” She shook her head, “But that’s the thing, you’re never really willing when you’re passed out, are you?”

Morgan’s eyes filled with tears and she shook her head. Lyn set her cup down next to the couch and the slid down onto the floor, sitting in her knees in front of her friend, “Sweetie, I’m here for you, we’re ALL here for you, but if you need her, Brenna will come to you, no questions asked.”

Mor shook her head, “No. Really. I’m fine. I mean...after all, I wasn’t ACTUALLY raped. He didn’t...I’m fine.”

Lyn nodded her head slowly, “OK. That’s fine.” She smiled and patted Morgan’s knee, “So, you feel up for a little last minute wedding shopping?”

Morgan sighed, “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to get out of the house for a little while...it would give Justin a chance to rest.” She looked at the pile of blankets and pillows on the floor and pointed, “He slept on the floor.”

Lyn smirked, “Yeah, he drew the long straw. We all wanted to keep an eye on you last night.”

Morgan rolled her eyes, “Overprotective much?”

“That’s what we’re here for.”

It had taken an amazing amount of convincing to get Justin to allow Morgan out of his sight for a few hours. It was only after they had promised to call if they were going to be more than two hours and Stasia had threatened to lock Justin in the basement that he had agreed to let Mor go shopping with Lyn, without him.

Morgan carried on her iced coffee as Lyn held up two different wedding guest books, “Which do you like better?”

Tilting her head slightly Mor pointed to one, “I like that one. It’s not as cheesy.”

Lyn turned them both around and nodded, “You’re right, I hadn’t noticed the little rings dangling off of this one.” She tossed the reject back onto the table and tucked the other under her arm, “How are you doing?”

“I’m FINE!” Mor huffed, “What else do you need?”

Lyn smirked and raised an eyebrow, “Well, you COULD be the first person to see me in my completely altered wedding dress...”

Morgan’s eyes grew huge, “SERIOUSLY?”

“Yep. Just let me pay for this stuff.” Lyn smiled. Morgan was not at all herself, her eyes were dark and cold, she had been very quiet all afternoon, but she was hoping being outside, getting a little air would help her some. With the exception of their conversation before they left the house, Lyn had not brought up anything having to do with the attack.

Morgan sat patiently on the velvet couch in the bridal salon for Lyn to emerge from the dressing room. She looked up from the bridal magazine in her lap when she heard Lyn’s voice, “Are you ready?”

“Well YEAH!” Mor smiled.

Lyn walked out into main room in front of the floor to ceiling mirrors, she ran her hands over her soft satin gown. The neckline dropped in a graceful ‘v’, set wide on her shoulders. The back plunged into a much deeper ‘v’. There was a narrow band of simple beading along the neckline. A long line of covered buttons ran down her back and the skirt fell in soft folds.

Morgan covered her mouth with her hand, “Oh. My. GOD! You look...wow...JC is gonna DIE!”

Lyn was beaming, “You think?”

Morgan walked over to stand next to her, “I don’t think, I KNOW! It’s perfect.”

“I was lucky to be able to get it on such short notice. They had to pull major strings, but I saw it and I REALLY wanted it.”

“It’s fate. You HAD to have this dress, it’s so you!” Morgan smiled. She walked back to the couch and sat down, “Lyn, I wish I could be there.”

“You know you’re invited. I would LOVE to have you there.”

Morgan looked down at her hands and sighed, “I’m sorry, I can’t.”

“You know what, I’m not going to pressure you. If you don’t feel ready, I’m not going to push the issue.”

“Thank you.” Mor nodded.

As they walked out of the bridal salon Lyn smiled, “Lunch?”

“Sure.” Mor nodded.

“We can just walk down the street to that little Mexician place.”

“Sure.”

They walked silently toward the restaurant, Morgan watching her feet the entire way. When she glanced up, her heart skipped a beat and her breath caught in her throat. Stopping in her tracks she grabbed Lyn’s arm. Lyn turned to look at her, “What’s wrong?”

A few feet ahead of them on the side walk a guy was standing in front of a store looking in the window. She couldn’t see his face, but he was dressed in a pair of khaki cargo pants, the tails of a blue button down were hanging down from under his well worn sweatshirt, he had on a pair of soccer shoes and the outfit was completed with a white baseball hat with ‘COCKS’ on it, worn backward.

Lyn grabbed her shoulders and looked her straight in the eye, “MORGAN! What’s wrong?”

“It’s Bob.”

Lyn’s head whipped around, “Dear God! Where?”

Raising a shaking finger, Mor pointed at the guy down the street. Lyn put her arm around her shoulders and turned her back in the direction of the car. Just as they were walking away, the guy turned around and Mor caught a glimpse of his face. She held her hand to her forehead, “It isn’t him.”

Lyn kept walking toward the car, “Well, I’ve had enough shopping, let’s get you home.”

“God, I’m sorry. It’s just that the day I met Bob, he was wearing almost exactly the same thing...I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry about. I would be freaked out too.” Lyn unlocked the car and threw her bags in the backseat, “Let’s get you home.”

Lance dribbled past Justin and easily sank his shot, That makes it 12-8, me.”

Justin took the ball from him and bounced it several times before charging toward the hoop, knocking Lance to the ground in the process. Getting to his feet, Lance dusted himself off and shook his head, “Think that might have been overkill?”

Heaving the ball as hard as he could into the backyard, Justin growled, “What the hell am I supposed to do?”

Running both hands over his face and into his hair, Lance sighed, “There is nothing you CAN do. You have to let her deal with this on her own, in her own way.”

“She’s not dealing with it at all. She goes from sobbing in the shower to silence.” He sat down on the edge of the court, playing with the grass and looking up at his friend.

Lance sat down in front of him and shook his head, “I’m sure she’s dealing with it in her own way. You have to let her know that you’re there for her when she needs you, but you can’t push.”

“But if she doesn’t talk to me about it, how is she going to work through all of it?”

“Maybe by talking to someone else. Stasia’s doctor really helped...and Chris...and Joe.” Lance looked down at his hands and shrugged, “Maybe she needs someone else.”

“I can’t just sit by and watch her hurt like this. I don’t understand how you can expect me to do that.”

“I expect you to do what’s RIGHT for Morgan. Do you think it was easy for me to handle the fact that Stasia turned to Chris before she turned to me? Or that Joey was the one she needed to push her into venting? Or that Lyn was the one it took to finally get her to go to the doctor? The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do was let go.”

“But you guys were already the perfect couple when Stasia got attacked, you knew you’d be fine in the long run.”

“You’re wrong there.” Lance picked up a small pebble and rolled it around on his palm, “We are FAR from being a perfect couple. We fight, we annoy one another, we need our own space sometimes.”

Justin looked shocked, “I’ve never even seen you guys fight.”

“Well Jesus Justin! We don’t want our arguments in the National Enquirer. We fight behind closed doors, we fight it out, then work it out.”

Justin squinted, “What do you guys fight about?”

“Most recently? Cleaning the kitchen and before that, her inability to keep her mouth shut when she has an opinion.” Lance smirked, “That is one is a double edged sword - I love her brutal honesty, but from time to time, that mouth of her’s can cause a world of trouble.”

“Morgan and I are never going to make it.” Justin flopped back onto the lawn.

Lance chuckled, “Oh SHUT UP! You and Mor have a better chance of making it then anyone we know. You have a strong past to build on. Everything you’ve ever gone through, you’ve gone through together. The same way you’re going to get through this together. The thing you have to get through your THICK HEAD is that NONE of this is your fault.”

Justin looked up at him and rolled his eyes, “Have YOU mastered that one yet? Not blaming yourself?”

Lance smirked, “I’m working on it.”

Flopping back down Justin groaned, “SHIT! If you’re not there yet, I’m NEVER gonna get there.” A strange look passed over his face and he opened his eyes, “Lance?”

Taking a deep breath Lance raised both eyebrows and asked, “What?”

“Did you ever have doubts?”

Looking down at his hands Lance took a deep breath, “Doubts about my feelings, no...”

Justin sat up straight and locked eyes with his friend, “But?”

“But...there have been times when I wondered if God was sending me or us messages...like I wondered if we would just been better off not starting this relationship.” Justin looked truly horrified, “Stop looking at me like that. I love her more than anyone else in my life, I love her more than life itself...but THINK about it J, we have had some major downs.”

“So why in the hell did you ask her to marry you?”

Lance laughed and smiled brightly, “For the same reason YOU will eventually ask Mor to marry YOU. Because a life of nothing but struggles WITH her is better than a single day without her.”

“I don’t understand why all of this has to be so hard. When is it going to get easier?”

“I’ll let you know as soon as it gets easy for us.”

Justin groaned, “You realize you are NO HELP, right?”

Lance nodded, “Yeah, I know.”

Lyn pulled into the driveway, Morgan hadn’t said a word since they had gotten into the car. Looking over at Mor, she smiled as brightly as possible, “Here we are! Safe and sound!”

Mor nodded and got out of the car, “Thanks.”

Lyn followed her into the house and her heart sank. Morgan made her way directly up to Justin’s room without a word to anyone. Sighing, Lyn walked into Justin’s office and smirked, “Hey B.B.”

Looking up from his computer he craned his neck, “Where’s Mor?”

“She went upstairs.”

He stood up, “Why? What happened?”

Lyn took a deep breath, “She got a little spooked.”

“How?” He began crossing the room.

“She thought she saw Bob.”

He froze mid-step, “What?”

“We were downtown and there was a guy on the street that she thought was Bob.”

“I KNEW this was a bad idea!” He stomped down the hall to the stairs.

“Justin!” Lyn ran after him. She grabbed his forearm, “Maybe you should let her calm down - she was really freaked out.”

“She’ll want to talk to me.” He shrugged her hand off and ran up the stairs. When he got to his bedroom door he started to walk in, but stopped himself. He raised his hand and knocked.

“Come in.”

Justin walked into the room and his eyebrows drew together. The curtains were closed and Morgan was curled up in his bed. He walked over and sat on the edge of the bed, “It’s awfully dark in here.”

“I’m tired.” She sank further into the pillows.

“So Lyn told me that you got upset while you were shopping. You honestly thought you saw Bob?” He looked down at his hands.

“She didn’t have to tell you about that. It was no big deal.” She closed her eyes.

“No big deal? Morgan, it’s one o’clock in the afternoon, and you are back in bed. You got up at nine, that’s not much of a day.”

Rolling on to her back and staring up at the ceiling, Mor growled, “JESUS Justin! I’m tired, why can’t you go downstairs and find someone else to bother?”

Looking down at his hands Justin sighed heavily, “Mor, maybe you need to talk to a professional...”

Sitting up straight, her eyes locked on his, “You know what? Maybe you should leave me the hell alone! You don’t know what I’m going through, you don’t know how this feels. I don’t think it’s asking too much to let me take a GOD DAMN NAP!”

Rubbing both hands over his face he sighed, “I don’t know what to do for you. I don’t know how to help you. I need you to talk to me, to let me do SOMETHING HERE!”

“I NEED you to leave me alone!”

“I thought you wanted to be here? I thought you wanted me to bring you home.” He turned to look at her with hurt in his eyes.

“I did Justin.” She calmed down a little, “But Justin, you have to let me deal with this.”

He stood up and moved toward the door, “Fine.”

“OH FOR CHRIST’S SAKE! Don’t get all hurt and pouty! I can’t deal with that on top of everything else!”

“You haven’t been home very long. You didn’t have a chance to settle in. I’m just leaving you alone like you asked. I’ll have plenty of time to hang out with you and make sure you’re ok when we’re in Ireland for the wedding.”

“Justin, I’m not going to Ireland.”

His shoulders fell even more, “OK, then I’ll have plenty of time to hang out with you and make sure you’re ok while everyone else is in Ireland, and we’re here.”

Morgan shook her head, “I’M staying home. You HAVE to go.”

“Oh HELL NO! I am not about to leave you here alone. I SAW what happened the last time you were left alone! I’m not about to come back and find you still laying in this bed. I know it’s hard Morgan, but you have got to TRY to get past this. I’ll stay with you.”

“You HAVE TO GO! It’s JC’S wedding. This isn’t exactly something you can miss.”

“JC will understand.”

“Oh FUCK THAT! I won’t. You have to go. I would never forgive you, or myself if you stayed behind because of me. You have to go. For both of us.” She sighed heavily, “Justin PLEASE!”

“I’m not leaving you alone. If Momma and Paul were staying here I’d say you can go over there, but I’m not about to leave you behind with no one around.”

She covered her face with both hands, “GOD!”

“You have three choices, and you don’t have to decide right now, but you can come with us to Ireland, I can stay here with you or you can go to Tennessee and stay with Daddy and Lisa.”

“JUSTIN!” She flopped back into the pillows.

“Those are the choices, think about it.” With that, he left the room, closing the door quietly.

When Morgan emerged from the bedroom four hours later, she shuffled down to the kitchen to find Stasia sitting alone, quietly pecking away at her laptop. She glanced up and smiled as Mor walked over to the refrigerator, looked in and closed the door without taking anything out.

“Hey sleepy.” Stasia grinned, getting up and walking to the refrigerator herself. She pulled out a pitcher of juice and glance at Mor, “You want some?”

“No thanks.” She shook her head, “Where is everyone?”

Sitting back in her chair and closing her laptop Stasia sighed, “Well, Lance is over at JC and Lyn’s and Justin is out with Dre running. He was a bit...ahh...wound up. So I said I’d stick around here with you.”

Morgan let her head fall to the table, “I don’t need a babysitter.”

Stasia raised an eyebrow, “Who said I was a babysitter? I never said I was babysitting. I said I’d stick around with you...more ‘sticking’ than ‘sitting’. I was wanting to hang out with my friend, not sit on a baby.”

Slowly raising her head to look at Stasia, Mor looked at her as if she were insane, “You’ve actually lost it this time haven’t you?”

Leaning back and waving her hand dismissively, “So rumor has it you have a choice to make.”

“Oh FUCKING HELL!” Morgan’s head slammed back down on the table.

“Interesting.” Stasia nodded, “I need to file that one for later use.

“This is such shit!”

Stasia smirked, “Your language has gotten...colorful recently.”

“What is his DEAL? I can’t be left alone for a couple of days? This is CRAP!”

Stasia shrugged, “He’s worried about you. I think it’s cute.”

“OH GOD! CUTE? You know, Lance didn’t get all jackassy with you when YOU got attacked. What the hell is wrong with Justin?”

“Hey now! The situations are not at all the same.”

“I’m thinking they are.” Morgan’s frustration was becoming very clear.

“I’m thinking they aren’t. See Justin is Justin, and Lance is Lance. It’s obvious that they are going to react differently. And Lance didn’t react quite as well as everyone thought. You also need to keep in mind that he slept at the hospital with me and not once was I alone for several months.” leaning her elbows on the table she continued, “Not that I don’t think Lance loved me then, or that he doesn’t love me now, but he doesn’t love me the way Justin loves YOU. Your lives are intertwined in a way that Lance and mine will never be. You have a past that you can draw from right now. You guys may not have been ‘together’ long, but the relationship you’ve ALWAYS had is something you can both tap into right now. But for Justin this is twice as hard as it was for Lance because not only was his girlfriend hurt, but his best friend was hurt at the same time.”

“So I get to feel twice as guilty.”

“No. You get to feel no guilt. You didn’t do this to yourself, someone did this TO you. You get to feel bad, or mad or angry or whatever the fuck you want to feel. But THAT’S the thing Mor, YOU need to figure out what YOU are feeling, because right now, you don’t really seem to have a handle on that.”

“I’m just supposed to let him tell me what to do?”

“You know him Mor. If you don’t make a decision, he’s going to make it for you, and my guess would be he’ll stay here with you.”

“He CAN’T do that.”

Stasia shook her head, “He can, and he will.”

“Stasia I CAN’T go to Ireland. Wouldn’t it be great if I freaked out in the middle of the wedding? Oh YEAH, I’d LOVE to ruin the wedding of the two of my best friends. I can’t do that to them. I can’t go.”

“Mor...”

“I’m not going. Besides, my passport is in New Hampshire.” She shrugged, “Problem solved, I LITERALLY can’t go.”

“So you and Justin will have time to talk...”

“I will not let him miss this wedding. JC and Lyn are way to important to him. He’d resent it.”

“He would not.”

“Maybe not right away, but eventually, he’d resent it.”

“Do you know how much he loves you? Morgan, if you WANT him to stay, TELL him.”

“I want him to go, because I’D hate myself if we both missed it.” Morgan sighed, “I have brought on far too much drama this time.”

“You didn’t bring on anything sweetie. You might have fun in Tennessee with Randy, Lisa and the boys.” Stasia smiled encouragingly.

“I guess we’re about to find out.” Mor sank into her chair.

Walking toward baggage claim, Morgan scanned the crowd for a familiar face when her eyes landed on Lisa, with Steven perched on her hip a lump developed in her throat. Lisa held her free arm open and Morgan gladly ran to her. Steven wrapped his arm around Mor’s head and Lisa held her tightly for a long moment. Lisa kissed the top of her head and squeezed her tightly to her side, “Hi sweetie.”

Morgan smiled weakly and took two steps back when Steven launched himself into her arms, “Hi Buddy.” She kissed his cheek, “Hi Lisa.”

“How are you doing?” Lisa had the same concerned look in her eyes everyone else had had for the last week.

“I’m fine.” Mor shrugged.

“Ahh...that is EXACTLY what Justin said you’d say.” Lisa smiled.

Mor glanced at Steven who was hugging her tightly around the neck and the rolled her eyes at Lisa, “Justin has been talking too much lately.”

Lisa nodded slowly, “He always babbles when he’s nervous. Do you remember how bad he was when they left for Germany the first time? I thought Randy was going to gag him before we got to the airport.”

Mor smirked, “Yeah.”

When they got to the house she was met by Jonathon, who ran out the front door to meet her on the lawn. The babysitter ran out a second later, “Jon! Where are you...Oh sorry. Hi Mrs. Timberlake. Jon got home from school half an hour ago and he’s already done his math, he has a little bit of reading and that’s it.” She reached inside the door and grabbed her backpack, “I’m going to go do my own homework now!”

Lisa dug around in her purse and pulled out some cash. Handing it to the girl she smiled, “Thank you so much Pam. Oh, I’m sorry. I’m being rude. Pam this is Morgan, Morgan this is Pam. She sits with Jon after school while I run errands and take Steve to swim class.”

Mor smiled and nodded, “Hi.”

Pam smiled back and jogged down the driveway and across the street right into the house directly across from the Timberlake’s. Lisa pulled Jon away from Mor’s legs by his shoulder, “Jonathon, give Morgan a little room to breath.”

Jon stepped back and looked at Mor, “Daddy said you’re sad. How come you’re here without Justin?”

“Jonathon!” Lisa pulled him against her legs, “Stop!”

Mor shook her head, “No, it’s ok Lisa.” She bent down to look him in the eye, “I’m here without Justin because he had to go to Ireland and didn’t want me to be home alone because I’ve been a little bit sad, so he sent me here so I could be here with you where he knew I’d be very happy.”

Steven put his hands on her cheeks and squeezed a little, “How come you’re sad?” He squeezed a little harder and made a little face at her, “Don’t be sad Mor-in!”

Morgan kissed the top of his head, “You make it really hard to be sad Buddy.”

Lisa sat on the edge of the coffee table in front of Morgan, “Sweetie, Randy and I have got to go to the club for this charity thing that I helped plan. I’m going to call Pam and see if she can come over to keep the boys out of your hair.”

Morgan shook her head, “Oh no Lisa! Don’t bother! I’ll be fine with the boys for a few hours. Plus they’ll be going to bed in a little over an hour.”

“It’s no trouble to have Pam run over. I’m so sorry I couldn’t get out of this. I totally forgot it was this weekend. After I talked to Justin I totally forgot everything.”

“That’s more my fault than yours. I’m serious, we’ll be fine for a couple of hours.” Morgan smiled.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive. Go.”

She had dozed off on the couch in the family room two hours after she’d tucked the boys into bed. The house was quiet and she settled into the down cushions. It hadn’t taken long before the dream had begun creeping into her mind.

No one ever spoke to her with that tone. Everyone that mattered had love in their voices when they spoke to her. The voice was full of anger and rage. She was at the end of a dark tunnel, and she was running towards the pin prick of light at the end of the tunnel, but the faster she ran, the longer the tunnel got.

“So this is Mr. Wonderful.” So much anger in the voice.

Suddenly, for one fleeting moment, she was in the light. It flood her senses and hurt her head and the only thing she could see in the light was the dark figure, walking toward her. She felt herself falling back into the darkness as the dark figure hovered over her.

A second voice in her head screamed out to her in desperation, “DON’T LET THIS HAPPEN!”

The figure was fuzzy and he was sounding angrier, “Looks like you’re about ready.” He walked over, with heavy steps, he roughly grabbed her chin between his thumb and index finger, he jerked her face around and held a picture in front of it, “Want to give him a little kiss?” She was slipping back into the darkness, his voice was getting further away.

She could no longer understand him the ringing in her ears was growing louder. Her already foggy sight was beginning to creep toward the dark.

The second voice screamed out again, “YOU’RE NOT GOING TO LET THIS HAPPEN! COME ON! YOU CAN”T LET THIS HAPPEN!”

The whole room rotated, she’d been rolled onto her stomach, like a rag doll. The sound of fabric tearing ripped through the silence and cold air rushed across her skin. Suddenly there was a wet sensation against the small of her back. The evil voice cackled, “Hot. This thing is hot.”

Terror gripped her as the room flipped again, the front of her body feeling cold, “No bra. I like that. Did you do that for me?”

The second voice surfaced, “YOU HAVE TO FIGHT!”

Her heart was pounding and her breathing was completely out of control. When she felt a hand rub her shoulder, she pushed back and sat bolt upright screaming, “GET AWAY FROM ME!”

Her eyes finally focused on Steven’s tiny form in the dark. His lip was quivering and he ran toward the stairs, his footed pajamas scratching against the hardwood floors. Morgan stood up and ran after him, “NO! Steven wait!”

“I want Momma!” He ran back to his room.

Morgan sank to the floor and began sobbing, “What the hell is wrong with me?”

Wiping both hands over her face she shook her head. She knew better than to chase Steven, she had just frightened him as badly as he’d frightened her. She had to do something. Her head was as screwed up as it could ever get, she was afraid to be alone, she was afraid to be with people. She had just frightened the most important person in Justin’s life, he was never going to forgive her.

Pushing herself up off of the floor she went to her room and pulled out her cell phone. Taking a deep breath she dug around for the number. Dialing before she could change her mind. She closed her eyes when she got voicemail, “Hi. It’s Morgan. I know you’re in Ireland for the wedding, but I was...I don’t know...I’m sorry to call during all of the wedding stuff.” She hung up and went back downstairs to wait for Randy and Lisa to come back, so she could attempt to explain how she’d terrified their youngest son.