Alone.
That’s how she always knew it was going to end. Her, and only her, alone somewhere, tears streaming down her face, for whatever reason.
Being alone was her greatest fear in the world.
She carefully climbed over the railing and sat there, her feet dangling above the water far below.
‘I know you couldn’t possibly love me anymore,’ her note to him had said. ‘That’s why I’m leaving. Now, you can get on with your life; leave me behind like I deserve for you to. The bridge makes a great companion.’
She had added that last little part to see if maybe he would show up, though in the back of her mind, she knew he wouldn’t.
She had really screwed up this time. She loved him so much, and he loved her, too. She hadn't done it because she wanted to show him that others loved her, or whatever reasons women did that kind of thing. It was the time he spent away from her. It drove her crazy. He wasn’t gone that often; it was just that when he was gone, it was for months at a time.
And one time, the last time, it got to her so badly, that she went out and found some random loser. It didn’t help at all that this random loser happened to be friends with him. He had run his mouth to their mutual friends, and of course, it got back him.
So, here she was, all alone. She was going to end his pain, and her’s. She would go, so he could move on, find someone who would love him like he deserved.
Would he show up? She wanted him to show up badly. To hold her in his arms and tell her they would work it out. To kiss her gently, kiss her pain away, as she would do with his. To tell her he understood that she was lonely, though he didn’t understand why she had cheated on him, but that that didn’t matter anymore. To tell her he loved her still, through the pain and chaos she had caused one lonely night.
She had prayed for him to show up. She had spent a good half an hour praying, on her knees, that he would show up. She didn’t want to do this, but if he didn’t show up, she knew she would have to.
Then, she spent a good half an hour preparing herself for what she was about to do. Now was the time. He hadn't showed up after an hour, and obviously wasn't going to.
She looked around one last time. That’s when she saw him, walking toward her, his eyes locked on her. He started to run.
A flash of lightning made her jump, causing her to lose her balance.
She heard him call her name as she plunged toward the cold, black water. A loud splash, and she felt the water consume her. It was so cold. She fought hard to get back to the surface, to get one more breath, but her legs wouldn’t work, nor her arms.
She fought hard, but had to give up quickly. All she could do was pray.
He sat at her bedside, holding her hand.
He was scared to death as he looked around at all the machines and things she was hooked up to. She couldn’t breathe on her own. There were tubes going in and out of her everywhere. And the heart monitor, the beeping caused a strange sort of comfort to take over him.
He sighed deeply as he stared at her lifeless body lying before him; a few tears slid down his cheek and landed on the back of her hand that he was holding. Two weeks of staring, and he still wasn't cried out.
All he could do was stare and cry, sometimes pinch himself to see if it was all just a dream, a horrible nightmare.
"Damn it!" he cursed himself. "If I had just run a little faster…"
He had gotten home late that night, which meant he got to her house even later than he had promised.
He had been determined not to leave her alone again, then he had gotten called away on business.
He wasn't even mad about what she had done. He was hurt, but not enough to make him leave her, because that would be punishing himself. He couldn’t live without her, and though she had hurt him, he knew how excruciatingly sorry she was. And he was bound and determined that night to let her know he was willing to try again.
But he had gotten home late; a delayed flight because of the storm. He had gotten stuck in Iowa for the night, but decided to drive home, so as to get to her quicker.
He hadn't been fast enough. An hour late to her house. He found the note sitting on the kitchen table. He saw it as he was walking in the back door. He grabbed it and ran back out into the rain, not bothering to grab his jacket out of the car. He got to her, but not fast enough.
He watched in horror as she slipped off the railing she had sat on so many times.
He heard the blood-curdling scream that escaped her mouth when she hit the water.
He heard himself screaming her name, and vaguely remembered talking to the police officers that rushed to the scene after he had called 911.
He stared once again at her, and silently prayed for her to open her baby blue eyes and smile up at him.
He roughly ran his free hand through his messy brown hair. "Ya gotta wake up," he whispered. "I don’t wanna lose you; I can’t lose you."
He thought for a minute about what he was saying, what he had been saying for the past two weeks. He was being selfish, and he knew it.
She was tired of fighting, just like she had gotten tired of fighting in the water. She was in pain. For God’s sake, she couldn’t even breathe on her own!
"Alright, ok; I’m sorry. I know I’m being selfish. I know you’re tired." He kissed her forehead. "If you need to go…" Tears were falling down his face. "You can…But you gotta know something first!" He stroked her hair gently. "You gotta know that I love you, and that I don’t care what you did. It hurt, but I’m ok. Because I know what it feels like to be lonely…Just gimme a sign that she hears me," he prayed aloud.
He felt it. If he hadn't been looking for a sign, he would have missed the light squeeze she gave his hand.
He brought her hand up to his lips and kissed it gently.
A loud, long, continuous beep filled the room.
He leaned over the railing and stared down at the bright blue water, and the sun reflecting off of it. Tears flowed from his dark brown eyes, but were devoured by the water below.
Exactly one year later, it was a bright sunny day, not a cloud in the sky. But a cloud still hung over his head.
A whole year without her? Had it really been that long?
Well, of course it had. It had been a long year, the longest he had ever lived…not that you could call what he did for that year living. It was just a day by day, breathe in, breathe out, try to keep going, existence.
Her plan hadn't worked either. He hadn't moved on. How could she have expected him to be able to move on? She could be really crazy sometimes.
She had been crazy to go sit on that stupid railing in the middle of a storm. It didn’t matter that it was her favorite place – seeing as how that was where they had met – and had sat there a million times!
You just don’t go sitting on a railing when it’s raining…railings get slippery! Didn’t she think about that? Well, of course she had, that’s probably why she had sat there.
Now, here he was, sitting on the railing himself.
Alone.
Just as she had been.
