"This is a long drive," he complained.
"We haven't been driving that long." I glanced at the clock…ok, so it hadn't been a short, sweet, half-hour drive, but still. I turned onto a small road. "Look, only like five more minutes."
It didn’t take us long to arrive at the entrance to a long driveway that led up to the most amazing house I had ever seen.
"Whoa," was what I heard from the passenger side.
I parked and we got out, walking to the front door hand-in-hand. The real estate agent was there to show us around, as the owners of the house were out making sure all the finishing touches were being put on their new house in New York.
Josh and I were quiet as the agent showed us around the five bedroom, six bathroom house. It was oceanfront, with two balconies that faced the beautiful blue waters. There was a swimming pool and a hot tub off to the left as you walked out the back door and onto the newly built deck. Walk-in closets, a spiral staircase in the foyer, a fireplace in the living room and the master bedroom! The house had everything!
"I’m not really a big spender, ya know?" Josh whispered to me as we talked privately. The agent had just told us how much the house cost (4.2 million dollars…) and I thought Josh was gonna have a heart attack.
"I know…" I cast my eyes toward the ground, ashamed of even thinking that we could own this house.
"Hey," he whispered, putting a finger under my chin and lifting my head up so I was looking him in the eye. "You really like this house?"
"It’s my dream house…"
"Not anymore."
"Huh?"
"It’s yours, if you really want it."
I screamed, and jumped into his arms. "Oh my God! I love you, I love you, I love you!"
"Did I just hear what I think I just heard?" the agent asked, peeking her head into the master bedroom, where we were standing.
"Yeah…we want the house," Josh said, still holding me, my legs now wrapped around his waist.
"Well, if you’ll follow me to the kitchen, I’m sure we can get all the paperwork done by the end of the afternoon."
"Hannah!" I screeched into my cell phone when she picked up. We were on our way back to Orlando later that night. "Hannah, we bought a house!"
"You what?!"
"Yeah! A house! Oh, it’s so gorgeous, you’re gonna love it." I pulled the cell phone away for a second. "Babe, you’re gonna wanna take a left at the light." Josh was driving so I could make all my calls. I had called my mom first; she was already making plans for a trip to see the house. "Yeah, Hannah, we’re moving in, in two weeks!"
"Two weeks?! That’s really soon. Where is this house?"
"Cocoa Beach, it’s not far, only like an hour’s drive. Oh, I’m so excited. Tell Jayce, ok? I gotta call Justin. I’ll talk to you soon. Love ya."
"Love you, too. Bye." She hung up and so did I.
"Josh?"
He didn’t look away from the road, but simply asked, "Yes?"
"Thank you." I leaned my head on his shoulder.
"Anything for you; anything to make my baby girl happy. Both of my baby girls." I closed my eyes and started singing along with the radio quietly. "I thought you were gonna call Justin?"
"I’ll tell him when we go get Danny tomorrow. I’m tired."
"Ok. Get some sleep. I love you."
"I love you, too."
"Ok, is that everything?" Josh asked as we walked toward the front door of my apartment, each of us carrying a box.
"I believe so."
"Then let’s get outta here."
We walked into the hall, and I locked the door for the last time. "I just gotta go give them my key in the office, then we’re outta here."
Justin, Joey, Jayce, Hannah, and Laura were waiting in the parking lot with Danny, making sure everything was loaded onto the U-Haul, which Justin was going to drive, while Joey and Jayce were using their trucks to carry more boxes.
I helped Josh load the rest of the boxes into my Explorer, and helped Danny into the backseat. Josh followed me to the driver’s side and we stood in silence for a minute.
"Here we go," he whispered, a smile on his face.
"I love you."
"I love you, too." He kissed me. "See ya in an hour, at our new place. *Muah* Bye!" He gave me a hug and jogged over to his car.
"Alright guys, let’s get going!" We drove off toward Cocoa Beach.
"Here we are, all alone in our brand new house!" Josh said, trying to be seductive as we lay in bed one morning a week after we had moved in.
"Who said we’re all alone?" I asked, not looking up from my book.
"Well, Danny’s asleep, we might as well be alone."
"Wanna bet?" Not two seconds later, Danny came bounding into the room.
"How’d you do that?" Josh grumbled as Danny climbed into the bed in between us.
"Hey Baby," I whispered to Danny, "I bet if you give Josh the puppy face, he’ll go make us some breakfast."
Danny smiled evilly, pouted, then turned to Josh. "Will you make us breakfast? Pweeze?" He even made his bottom lip tremble a bit, like he was going to cry.
Josh sighed. "Of course. But you have to come downstairs with me, and help me out, ok?"
"Ok!" Danny ran out of the room, Josh close behind.
I took this opportunity to take a nice, long shower.
I came downstairs half an hour later in my short, comfy yellow robe, my hair tossed into a messy ponytail.
"Sexy," Josh said, glancing at me as I walked into the kitchen.
"I thought so. So, is breakfast ready?" I jumped onto the counter.
"Almost." Josh was completely wrapped up in making breakfast. "Oh! I called Justin yesterday, I forgot to tell you. And we made the plans."
"For…?" I was confused.
"Him and Laura staying here while I’m gone."
"Josh! I don’t need anyone staying here while you’re gone."
"It’s either them or your parents. I know they really want to check out the house, and make sure I'm treating you right."
"But-"
"You remember the doctor said for you to take it easy! Taking care of this huge house for three months is not taking it easy."
"Blah, I don’t want them here. I don’t like him," I whined.
"What?!"
"I dunno, it seemed appropriate. Seriously, though-"
"We live an hour away, so don’t say that they’re just a short drive away! Here," he handed me a plate with a couple of pancakes on it. "Eat."
"What if I don’t want to?"
"What’s with the rebel attitude all of a sudden? Don’t wanna do anything if I say to?"
"Yep!" I smiled. He shook his head and laughed. I stuck my tongue out at him, grabbed my plate off the counter, and walked toward the back door.
"Where are you going?"
"Outside," I called back.
"Why?" He chased after me, as did Danny.
"I dunno. I feel like watching the ocean for a while. Got a problem?"
"No, just thought we’d join you."
We sat around our little breakfast table that was on the back porch. Josh and Danny had their own little conversations, but I tuned them out and watched the waves roll in.
I felt wonderful. It was so great being pregnant. But at the same time, I was depressed. Josh was leaving in two days. Sure, this time he was only going to California, but I didn’t want him to leave!
"I wanna go with you," I grumbled.
"What was that?" he asked.
"I want to go with you!"
"I know. And I want you to go, too."
"So take me. Take us! We need some time as a family-"
"What time would we have together?! You know what shooting schedules are like. I would leave at five, and not be back until ten that night, and we wouldn’t see each other."
"So? That’s not the point. I don’t want you to leave." The mood swings set in, and tears welled up in my eyes.
"Baby, please don’t. It’s only California-"
"That’s across the country!"
"I know. But it’s only California, not some foreign country. I’ll call every single night! And it’s only three months. They’ll go by so fast, you won’t even notice I’m gone. I promise." He got up and started to clear off the table. He kissed me gently on the cheek. "Don’t worry. Anyone want anymore breakfast?" he asked, looking at Danny.
"No, thank you," Danny answered politely.
"Ok, well I’m gonna go clean up the kitchen."
I watched him walk inside, and smiled to myself. Oh, I love that man!
I pried my eyes open, squinting at the sunlight that was filtering through the window.
"Who opened the fucking curtains?" I asked quietly. I was pissed already, and it was only nine! I rolled over, and even though what I saw was expected, it still brought tears to my eyes.
He was gone. Josh had left that morning at 4:30, but I told him not to wake me. I just wanted to sleep through it and not be forced to think about the fact that he was gone for three months. Well, delay the thought for a few more hours at least.
I stared at his pillow. It still had the imprint of his head sleeping soundly, in the same position, all night. I hadn't slept. I just stared at him all night. Until about three, when I forced myself to go to sleep.
All night, all I did was stare at him. I loved watching him sleep. The way his chest moved up and down, the steadiness of his breathing, the small smile on his lips, it all captivated me. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from him all night.
Now, I was staring at his pillow, empty except for the note and single pink rose. I didn’t feel like reading it, so I got up and took a shower.
After my shower, I went downstairs to find Justin and Danny watching cartoons.
"When did you get here?" I asked.
"I was here at 4:30. Josh wanted me here when he left, so I wouldn’t wake you up trying to get in. When did you get up?"
"An hour ago."
"I didn’t hear you get up."
"Sorry?" I walked toward the back door. Justin followed.
"What’s wrong?"
"Nothing…Why?"
"I dunno." He shrugged his shoulders. "You seem upset." We walked out to the water’s edge. "Distant, maybe."
"Nope. Just thinking about stuff." I dug my feet into the sand and stood there, looking out over the ocean.
"What kind of stuff?"
"I don’t feel like talking right now, Justin!" I yelled.
"Fine," he said and started back inside. "I’ll be here whenever you want to talk."
"Thanks," I said, almost sarcastically.
"Holly!" Laura called out the back door. "Phone!"
I ran past Justin and took the phone from Laura, thanking her. "Hello?"
"Good morning," Josh’s deep voice rang out.
I sighed. "Morning."
"Something wrong?"
"Nope, not at all."
"Don’t lie."
"Who’s lying?"
"You are," he accused me. "Tell me what’s wrong?"
"I just miss you, and I didn’t enjoy waking up alone, that’s all."
"Did you get my letter?"
"I didn’t read it," I admitted. "It’s still laying on the pillow. I didn’t feel like crying anymore than was necessary."
"I’m sorry I couldn’t bring you with me."
"It’s ok. It’s not a big deal, don’t worry. Just concentrate on getting things done and getting home! I miss you already, and you’ve only been gone a few hours."
"I know. I miss you, too."
"Where are you, anyway?"
"The airport. We’re about to head to the hotel, then to the studio for some last minute stuff. We start shooting tomorrow morning at…eight, I think."
"So, no call tomorrow morning?" I asked sadly. "You’ll be filming?"
"Oh no. There will be a call; you can count on that. Same time tomorrow. I’ll walk off the set if I have to, just to talk for five minutes. But I better go the car’s here. Tell Danny I’ll call him tonight?"
"Of course. I’ll talk to you then."
"I love you."
"I love you, too. Bye."
I sat down in the sand and let the water rush up over my feet. Something didn’t feel right. I couldn’t tell what it was, but he needed to be here with me. I couldn’t get the feeling out of my head. I’d had the same feeling for at least a week. Something was going to go wrong!
I couldn’t talk to Justin about it, of course, because he would tell me it was all in my head, and that I just needed to relax, and think about other things. Josh, on the other hand, would try his hardest to be on the first flight home. I couldn’t let him do that. Then, there was Laura. I’m sure I could’ve talked to her, but I was afraid of what I was feeling, and of what I might hear. I didn’t know what it was, and I’m not sure I wanted to know.
Nope, I just had to keep it to myself. I would figure out what it was sooner or later, and until then, I would just try to ignore it.
