Hi, I'm Caroline W., and I'd like to be your next PUSA (President of the United States of America). I came into being on October 26th, 2000, but I wasn't born yesterday. I know what's going on. You people want to eat me. You already got my dad, a sponge cake named Al, and my mom, a cup of microwavable wonton soup called Herman, but you won't get me. And I know you're trying, too. Like that time when you guys dressed up like a cat and took me out of my cage and tried to eat me, feathers and all. Or, the time when you dressed up like a gun-toting Texan and told me you had a bath waiting for me. But I knew it wasn't a bath, people don't take baths in crock pots with carrots and junk in them. (Even though I do like carrots.) You also didn't fool me when you pretended to be a coyote and tried to use your new Acme Cook-O-Mometer on me. NO, no, you didn't. I'm too smart for you. 'Cuz I gotta plan. I gotta plan, see? I"m going to be the PUSA. I'm going to be the PUSA, see? And then it'll be illegal for you to try and eat me, you know? It won't be allowed because I"m the PUSA! Bare rooms of solid white will be outlawed! Jackets will only be worn for fashion or weather conditions! People will be encouraged to jam as many sharp objects in their eyes as possible! Because it does kill the demons! IT DOES KILL THE DEMONS. IT DOES.
Oh, sorry, visiting time is over now. Thanks for coming. Tell McCauly I love him. And please tell the DEMONS TO DIE DIE DIE...
(written by Joe Linnell. Approved by Caroline)
With 10 years training from the Canton Ballet, and theatre training from both Pleasant View School for the Arts and GlenOak High School's drama classes, Caroline is very excited and proud of her role as "Hippolyta." She has appeared in the GOHS production of West Side Story, Guys and Dolls, and Cinderella, and PVSA productions of The Hobbit, Macbeth, and Sleeping Beauty. A member of both Chorale and Drifters (a select, 16 member vocal jazz ensemble), Caroline looks to major in music and theatre at Miami University in the fall, with the ultimate goal of performing on a Broadway stage. A very active student, she is the secretary of Student Council, a member of Nation Honors Society, a D.A.R.E. Role Model, a member of both Marching Band (tuba) and Wind Ensemble (flute/piccolo) and holds two jobs. Caroline thanks her family for the abundance of support.
