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Don't Look Back *bydiana
He hurt your body Distorted your mind Why do we put so much emphasis On the judgment of someone who is blind To Beauty and Love
Because he said it You took it for granted he meant it Why do we trust the words of someone mute to words of the Kind
Because he hit you You thought you deserved it Why oh why, precious one Your worth so much more
He says your ugly Fat and withered from time Why do we trust the sight of someone who can't see The Depth and Wisdom that grows when we age
There's Beauty inside you Deep down where your Woman's soul grows The child so loved by her Family The Woman who's Children do adore her
It started with Love and with trusting It turned ugly so fast No more friends allowed over No more laughter with tears Only abuse from someone you love
He screams at your Children Beats on your body Why do we trust the touch of someone Who can't gently reach out And touch us only with Love
Did you disagree with him Dare to have your own mind Oh my dearest friend You have every right to Trust me it's all a matter of his need to control
I wish I could hold you Take the time to console you Guide you to a path where you feel free Life floating on a mid summers breeze
There is a life without bruises Without threats of beatings Without names being called out against you Yes, I do know your not a whore
Accusations surround you Are you having an Affair? Why do we answer someone's questions who can't ask with Sanity and Care
Men don't have to hit you, To be worthy of Manhood They don't have to accuse you, To gently Love you They don't have to be drunk To make intimate love to your soul
They just don't understand They only need to empower us Be kind and generous like before Treat us with humility like God intended us for *bydiana
If you are in an abusive marriage or relationship Please get out! Too many Woman are living half the life they should be because of the insecurities of their significant other. I know I lived that life for 18 years. Too many woman are being killed by their boyfriends or husbands to take that chance with your life any longer. Here are a few of the warning signs I had but never understood. 1) He talks down or name calls other woman Sound vague.. he calls other woman whores or such If he calls them one bet your butt he WILL call you one too Find out why he thinks they are whores. You might find out there is no acceptable or sane reason. "His" conciept of a decent Woman is totally insane 2) Laughs or talks about using other Woman before you A man who likes and respects Woman will never use them. Nor will he brag about his conquests! He will never disrespect a Woman to make himself seem more the man or inflate his ego. 3) Dislikes your best friends. This was the first step to me letting go of my Childhood and Teenage Friendships. Looking back I can't believe he didn't like my Friends who were so much like me. But I still believed he could like "me" as a person. 4) Any statement meant to change you. This one started very subtle for me. Even small criticism can become big criticism. I don't mean the innocent criticisms we all do, just the ones that are meant to change our personalities. You read too much. You eat too much. You laugh too much. Your such a Daddy's Girl. I didn't like the way you acted with my friends. You look fat. You spend too much time with your friends or Family. I went through half my life afraid to talk and hating to buy clothes because they might make me look bigger. A girlfriend who gained a lot of weight said to me that she didn't feel different with the weight gain. She said She was just as big in her mind at size 5 as a size 12. 5) Jealousy is NOT a Loving thing! Sure it is flattering in the beginning of a relationship. "Oh he is so jealous he must REALLY Love me!". After a few years of him being totally wrong and accusing it gets OLD! Soon you can't talk to any male friends or male neighbors without you feeling and him thinking you are doing something wrong. Not to mention all of life you miss out on because of his having to know where you are every moment. And the time spent defending yourself from his sick accusations. It most cases it does last your whole life with him. Don't think he will change and the Jealousy will disappear. Flattery soon becomes insult. 6) Being asked or expected to lie for him. If he expects it from a mate he will probably expect it from a friend... how can you trust his word knowing that. 7) Does he walk in front of you and not beside you? 8)If he has hit you one time and you want to forgive him do it with having filed a Police Report first. Your life may depend one day on documentation of such behavior. 9)The most important thing! Trust your instincts and intuition. We DO always know how things are going to end. Deep down inside ourselves we know the truth. More often than not we create and live a Fantasy and ignore that truth. We lie to friends (and sometimes ourselves) on how he treats us in private to keep the Fantasy going, which he depends on. Our insecurity in our ability to sense danger is very strong. If we can accept dogs have the ability to sense danger or unkind people, lets accept that we can do the same! We just let kindness and fairness cloud our judgment and gut feelings. We project our behavior onto the abuser thus thinking they are nice. 10) Most important of all! Listen to the feelings of other Woman or Family members who you trust. They may have a life experience you don't that gives them a warning sign you may not see. Listen to the words of old Girlfriends or Ex-Wives. They speak more truth when they are in anger than any of us imagine. Woman let out all the sick secrets when they no longer care! Don't ASSUME all talk from an EX is jealousy or meanness. The happiness of you and your Families future depends to much on simple assumptions! 11) Does he constantly throw your past mistakes in your face? 12) Does he blame you for not being happy or any bad in his life?
When you are tired of being humiliated and bruised enough. Nothing will stop you from doing whatever you have to do to get out! Friends and Family NEVER look down on you for making wrong choices. They are called "learning experiences". And you get more respect for learning the lesson and moving on. Take care and God's help to you! Diana
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