Mr. T
I've done a lot of soul searching lately and I've realized that it's time for me to make something of my life. That's why I've decided to dedicate my life to follow the teachings of one of the wisest men in history. That man is non other than...
No, not him...
Getting warmer...
That's right fools, I've decided to dedicate my life to follow Mr. T. (you should of realized that when you saw the title of this rant) In case you don't know (how anyone could not know who Mr.T is boggles the mind) Mr. T made his claim to fame as B.A. Barrachus on the hit 80's action show The A-Team . On the A-Team, Mr. T got to dispense his wisdom. here are some of my favorite Mr. T quotes.
"Get out my way sucka!"
"You broke my chain fool!"
"I pity the fool, thug, or soul, who try to take over the world and then go cryin to him mamma!"
"Got no time for the jibba jabba"
As you can cleary see Mr. T is a wise man. Unfortanently for Mr.T, the A-Team was canceled shortly after people started to wonder why no one ever got shot when the show had a shoot out every 5 minutes. After the cancellation of the A-Team, Mr.T had trouble finding work without being typecast as "the intimidating black man with the mohawk and the huge gold chains"
Although it appears that Mr. T had enough mearchandising to keep him a very rich man for at least 15 years, he somehow lost it all. (my guess is he squandered it on gold chains) Mr. T soon found himself living in the streets. But that did not stop him. Mr. T still found time to volenteer at local youth centers, teaching the children about respect and how to make ashtrays. Mr. T didn't need money to be tough, all he needed were his gold chains and his customized 1982 GMC van. Mr. T is a great role model for kids, he's hella tough, and he didn't acheive that by doing drugs and skipping school. He did it by drinking his milk and pitying fools. I've said it before and I'll say it again, If everyone was more like Mr. T the world would be a much better place. From now one I'm going to be as T-like as possible. From now on I ain't got time for the jibba jabba and I pity any fool who does! I pity the fool who mess with me! I'll chuck that sucka hella far! Just earlier today I exercised these principles when my good friend Chris IMed me.
CDOG16XXX: fuck u
HoboJoe35: fool i ain't got time for your jibba jabba
CDOG16XXX: fuck u fag
CDOG16XXX: lick my ass
HoboJoe35: shut up fool
HoboJoe35: i told you i don't need your jibba jabba
CDOG16XXX: what u dont swear
CDOG16XXX: bitch boy
HoboJoe35: shut up before i pound you in the ground and you gotta scratch your knees with your ears sucka
HoboJoe35: i pity the fool who has to swear to get his point across
HoboJoe35: you need to spend more time at the youth center makin ashtrays
CDOG16XXX: what a FUCKING loser
HoboJoe35: shut up fool
HoboJoe35: all you do is jibba jabba all day like some crazy fool
HoboJoe35: i'll throw you hella far sucka
CDOG16XXX: quite calling my a fool bitch
HoboJoe35: stop calling me a bitch fool
HoboJoe35: before i knock your head off your shoulders
CDOG16XXX: loser fagit ass mother fucker dick sucking bitch
HoboJoe35: shut up fool
HoboJoe35: i pity the fool who spends all his time insulting people through AOL Instant Messanger
Hopefully, Chris will learn through my example and try to become more like Mr. T. Whenever your in a jam just think to yourself WWTD. What Would T Do?
EXAMPLE: You're out for a stroll one day and you see some fools talkin jibba jabba, What Would T Do?
Mr. T would casually approach them and say "What's wrong with you fools, don't you have nothing better to do than sit around all day jibba jabberin!" If the fools don't have anything better to do, offer to take them to the youth center so they can learn to make ashtrays. If the jibba jabba still does not commence, Pity those fools. If this is still not enough, throw those suckas hella far. No one has ever continued jibba jabberin after being thrown hella far by Mr.T and if they do, call for help from the real Mr. T, only he can throw them far enough.
Email: hobojoe2003@aol.com