Common Law was not
picked up for a second season. All that Wes/Travis sex will just be in
my head now.....
The New Normal is the new black....and the new gay....and the new
republican....
Glee didn't really change, only nobody has names now, just "the new
Rachel", "the new Puck" and "the new Mercedez" *L*
H50 is gayer than ever.
Below is Caitlin Moran’s
piece on Elementary in The Times.
It’s hard, as a Briton, not to feel a
little piqued by the arrival of Elementary. As the US Sherlock Holmes
reboot — commissioned after the success of Sherlock in the UK — the
very existence of Elementary feels a little … rude, to be honest.
Surely, in insisting on their own
21st-century TV Sherlock — rather than just accepting our smashing,
pre-existing one — the Americans have breached a whole slew of
etiquette guidelines.
Why was our Sherlock not good enough
for them? It’s got a dementedly passionate fanbase, Baftas up to its
nuts, and international sex-cases Martin Freeman and Benedict
Cumberbatch in the lead roles. I’m sorry, Uncle Sam — did all those
fabulous riches in some way offend you? Does that all still seem a bit
… modest, and low-key? Do you want fries with your Sherlock? Do you
want to Super-Size Holmes? Do you want the greatest detective of our
times covered in Ranch Sauce, and served by someone coming into the
room backwards, on roller-skates, singing Blueberry Hill? How dare the
Americans act as if our Sherlock isn’t good enough for them! HOW DARE
THEY!
I can’t help but feel that this is
all becoming a borderline diplomatic issue — as sore and vexed as if,
after the royal wedding between Prince William and Kate Middleton,
Barack Obama had announced that, actually, the US was going to have its
own royal couple, roped in William Shatner and Kate Gosselin, reality
TV star of Jon & Kate Plus 8, and sent them on a competing tour of
Canada, instead. Imagine. Imagine. There would have been Royal Navy
boats steaming towards Washington within the month. So rude. So rude.
So. Heroically putting aside the
terrible national insult of its mere existence, how is Elementary? Oh,
you know. It’s all right. You know everything you thought it would be?
It’s that. Someone who knows what they’re doing (show runner Rob
Doherty worked on Medium for six years, Ringer for two) has shipped
Conan Doyle’s tetchy, genius hero to 2012, and milked the potential of
the great sleuth in a bold new world of DNA fingerprinting, hacking and
iPhones.
So this Sherlock is Jonny Lee Miller
— a posh, wealthy Londoner who’s just finished rehab and moved to New
York. Actually, he didn’t exactly “finish” rehab — he escaped from the
clinic on the day he was due to be discharged, “to prove I could”.
Because that’s how rebellious he is. He’s half an hour rebellious.
Holmes lives in a grand apartment
block — soaring ceilings, huge windows — that’s falling into modish,
edgy ruin. Holmes himself echoes that edginess — the first time we see
him, he’s standing in the middle of this peeling, inky ruin, naked from
the waist up, and covered in tattoos. He’s motionless in front of eight
televisions, of varying sizes, all showing different channels. Is this
how he’s piecing his life back together, post-rehab? By pretending he
works in the Audio Visual Department at John Lewis?
In the event, the answer to this
question is “No”. It turns out that Holmes is just proving he can watch
eight televisions at once — yet still pick out dialogue from individual
shows and quote it back to Dr Watson (Lucy Liu) when she enters the
room.
“Do you believe in love at first
sight?” he says, spooking her out, and making her drop her handbag on
the floor.
Amazingly, once she realises that
he’s not saying this about her — but is simply quoting the next line of
dialogue from a rerun of a day-time soap on Television No 4 — she
doesn’t look seriously impressed, and go, “ZOMG! You can watch eight
televisions at the same time? This is awesome. You could become either
an in-house vision-mixer on a show such as Antiques Roadshow, or work
in the CCTV control room of NCP Car Parks. Yowsa. I burn for you.”
She just continues to stare at him
like he’s a bit weird.
Dr Watson has rocked up to Holmes’s
TVarium at the behest of Holmes’s father. Holmes’s father, we get the
impression, is powerful, clever and stern, and probably made Holmes an
addict by saying something cutting about the sextant a seven-year-old
Holmes made, from scratch, as a Christmas present (“This calibrates to
72 degrees! You’ve actually made a quintant, you fool!”) Watson is
ostensibly here as Holmes’s “addict sitter” — to make sure he doesn’t
relapse.
“What do I call you?” Holmes asks.
“Whatever you want,” Watson replies,
calmly. “That’s your privilege as a client.”
“Then I shall call you a ‘glorified
helper-monkey’,” Holmes says; going on to refer to her as “my personal
valet” when they go and check out their first murder.
What Watson’s really here to do, of
course, is to wind up fans of Conan Doyle, and Sherlock, on internet
messageboards. A female Watson? A lady Watson? Watsdaughter? Mottson?
This is against all nature. Against all law. This is classic fiction,
for heaven’s sake! You can’t go just … making things up! What if they
have sex? Sherlock can’t have sex with Watson! He’s a Holmesosexual!
Oh, this is worse than that time they put an ear on a mouse.
Personally, I was simply
curious/neutral about the idea of a female Watson and, in the event,
the conceit works fine. If the conceit is, of course, to make a
detective series about a very clever, socially awkward detective and
his more socially adroit sidekick. The scripting and plotting of
Elementary scores a non-embarrassing 6/10, and Jonny Lee Miller’s
Sherlock is an interesting take: eyes bright, diction clipped, he keeps
bees on the apartment roof, and the honey oozes, portentously, through
the floorboards.
“I’m writing a book,” he explains, to
Watson, as they stand on the roof, with the Manhattan skyline behind
them. “A practical handbook on bee-keeping culture, with regards to
segregating the queen.”
Watson stares at him, as the honey
drips, like he’s the silliest/cleverest boy alive.
Of course, CBS could have simply
commissioned a detective series about a very clever detective, his
sidekick and their bees, called it “Basil Thinkington & His
Sidekick, Joanna Lovely”, and avoided all of the Elementary v Sherlock
controversy entirely. Because, let’s be honest, Elementary has nothing
to do with either Sherlock, or Conan Doyle. Whilst Sherlock is by way
of a vivid love-letter to Conan Doyle — every episode competes to be
the one with the most in-jokes and canonical references; it is an act
of deep adoration, reverence and joy — Elementary has taken nothing but
the names, and a whole lot of publicity off the back of an imagined
rivalry.
But of course, if they’d just made
yet another solid detective story about a detectorer and his less
detectory mate, I wouldn’t be writing about it, and you wouldn’t be
reading about it.
On the other hand, Arrow is a barely
disguised rewrite of Smallville, but Oliver Queen is shirtless in every
episode and holy christ on a cracker is that guy HOT HOT HOT!!!!!