RETURN

By Longdog
 

It had been three abysmally long months for Walter Skinner.  Three months of being assailed by memories of his lover, Fox Mulder.  Three months of remembering their times together, and knowing that they would never come again.  And three months of imagining what Mulder's death had been like.  In short, it was three months of absolute Hell.

Skinner was haggard, and had visibly lost weight. At best, his 
disposition was surly; at worst, it bordered on homicidal.  The
agents under him quaked at the thought of being called into his
office, and did their best not to let their eyes meet his if they were.  His assistant, Kim, had gone home in tears twice. Obviously, all was not well with Assistant Director Skinner.

The mandatory meetings with Deputy Director Alvin Kersh only made things worse.  Kersh's arrogant disdain for all things involving Fox Mulder had been apparent from the first.  His ill-concealed joy at the man's demise had ignited a deep-seated rage in Skinner that he found hard to conceal.  John Doggett's permanent assignment to the X-Files as Scully's new partner also rubbed the wrong way, as did Doggett's attitude towards Mulder and the X-Files in general. Skinner would gladly have quit the FBI save two things:  his vow to 
protect Scully and the child of his dead lover she carried, and his vow to avenge the clinical slaughter of Fox Mulder.

Not that Dana Scully had exactly been tolerant of his attempts to watch over her.  She had problems with the pregnancy from the start, and he had tried to make her take more leave, only to become the recipient of "the eyebrow" thing she used to bestow on Mulder.  It stopped him in his tracks.  But he still called her nearly every night, and occasionally would stakeout her building, just to see if she was being watched by anyone (besides himself).  He had a gut feeling that Krycek was skulking around nearby, but so far had seen no sign of him.  If it came down to his own life, or Scully's, his choice had already been made.  Scully carried the last bit of his lover within her, and Walter would protect her and that baby at all 
costs.

Today, he had finally decided to have mercy on both himself and his staff, and go home early.  As he got into his car and drove out of the parking garage, it seemed the entire building breathed a sigh of utter relief.  He drove home slowly though, since he was going home to an empty condo, stopping at the liquor store to procure more of his favorite scotch.  He planned to do some serious drinking tonight.

Skinner sat on his couch, with the bottle and glass on the coffee table in front of him, and poured himself a stiff one.  Immediately he thought of the joke Mulder would have made out of that manner of speech….//Ooooooh, Walter!  A stiff one??? All for me??// Until they had become lovers, he had never realized how quick-witted and playful the man had been.  Being with Fox had given Walter a new lease on 
life, and now it was gone.  He had failed to protect his lover, who had been taken before his very eyes.  As his mind played back the images of Fox's shattered body lying on a steel table in the morgue, his guilt began to overwhelm him, and a single tear silently ran down his cheek.  Fox Mulder had been a tough man, though few had ever given him credit for it, and the agony he suffered before dying was almost beyond imagination.  It was hard to envision Fox Mulder accepting death as a release, but in this case it must have been.  At 
least he was at peace now, even if there was none for Skinner.

At night, he would dream of lying with Fox.  His sweet Fox.  No one ever bothered to get to know the real person that lurked under that irritating façade that Mulder threw up to protect himself.  Skinner himself had been surprised to find that a sweet, gentle man was hiding beneath the arrogant, difficult exterior.  A truly beautiful man, with a beautiful soul to match.  When they made love, Fox gave himself totally to Walter….he held nothing back.  At once sweet and seductive, he brought out in Walter feelings that Skinner had thought long dead.  Now, they were dying again.

After three drinks, Skinner fell asleep on the couch, and began to dream of Fox again.  They were upstairs making love in Skinner's huge bed.  He kissed Fox, his tongue thrusting deeply into that lush mouth even has his cock thrust deep into that tight, exquisite ass.  Mulder whimpered as Skinner drove deep into him, that massive cock banging against his prostate was pure ecstasy.  He yelped, and was answered by one of Walter's much-loved growls.  Skinner picked up the pace and 
began to pound into Mulder, the force of it causing the headboard to bang against the wall.  Mulder's voice rose an octave, punctuated by Skinner's grunts of effort as he drove his cock into that ass again and again, Mulder writhing beneath him, soft cries wrung from him by Skinner's sheer power.  "Oh, Walter…I l…love…love..you!" were the last intelligible words heard before Mulder shrieked as his orgasm struck.  Skinner thrust harder and faster a few more times, and then roared in answer as he came, his semen filling his lover's ass as he 
thrust his cock in as deep as it would go, and held it there through the writhing and pulsing and the bright flashing lights…and..

He woke, a warm stickiness in his underwear, still on the couch.  He was momentarily disoriented, but finally realized where he was, and that his wonderful interlude was just a dream.  He sighed miserably, shaking his head in sad denial, when something caught his eye.  There was a man, a naked man, standing on the stairs watching him…no, not "a man"…it was Mulder!  He saw him clearly, saw the scars on his 
lover's face, the terrible wound that ran from sternal notch nearly to the groin, the blood still evident everywhere.  Skinner blinked as tears once again clouded his eyes, and the figure vanished.  He charged up the stairs, calling Mulder's name, searching all the rooms, but no one was there.  Oh, God, what was happening to him?  Was he going insane? Had he finally lost it?

Shaking, he sat back down on the couch, trying to calm himself, and think about this rationally.  God, wouldn't it be just like Fox Mulder to decide to come back as a ghost and haunt him!  Visions of Walter Skinner starring as Topper came to mind, and he laughed, partly in humor, and partly hysteria.  No, he was a Marine, and they don't get hysterical.  He was tired, that's all.  And he had too much to drink.  Time to suck it up, Skinner.  You have a mother and baby to protect! He had just managed to convince himself that it was another dream, 
when the phone rang.

Billy Miles.  Billy Miles had been found dead thousands of miles from where he had been abducted. But then, he was alive.  Alive, after spending MONTHS in the water.  He sat trying to fathom how this could happen, when the significance of the fact finally hit him….alive after months in the water.  Alive when he had been dead…Oh, God!!!  FFOOOOXXXXX!  He had stood at Mulder's graveside when they buried him in North Carolina….but was Fox really dead?

He didn't know whether to pray that Mulder was truly dead, or pray that he had been…oh God no…BURIED ALIVE!

He was already making the calls necessary to arrange seats for two on a flight to North Carolina as he ran up the stairs to pack a bag.  Mindful of Scully's delicate condition, though she would no doubt deck him if she heard him say that, he commandeered John Doggett to accompany him to Raleigh, to do the nearly unthinkable and exhume Mulder's body.  Listening to Doggett go on and on about how insane this whole thing was, Skinner wanted to do some decking himself!  Of 
course it was insane!  But this was Mulder, his lover, and he had to be sure.  If he didn't do this, exhume the body, and he found out later that Mulder had indeed been buried alive …well, he really didn't want to go there.  

He held his breath as the casket was opened.  Due to the length of time Mulder had been dead before being found, his body had not been embalmed.  This fact, plus three more months of decomposition meant this would be a gruesome task.  He marshaled his courage, and stepped up to the open casket, and was shocked to find no change in Mulder's 
body.  No change.  The Medical Examiner standing next to him stared for a moment in surprise, and then whipped out his stethoscope to check for any sign of life within, since there were no external signs.  Listening hard for a few minutes, he gasped, and called for the ambulance crew that was standing by at Skinner's insistence.  His lover was alive!  Fox Mulder still lived!

The days Mulder spent in the hospital were Hell for Skinner.  Once Scully found out about Mulder's "condition," she refused to leave his side.  Walter wanted so badly to hold Fox's hand, to let him know he was no longer in that damn coffin, that he was alive and that his lover was here, waiting for him to wake up.  He wanted to stroke his face, and run his fingers through his hair, but it would have to wait until they were alone.  Then Krycek made his grand entrance with his damn palm pilot, and his damn bargain; to keep Mulder from becoming one of those "things," all Walter had to do was kill his lover's child.  Oh, God!  He knew that if he kept that bargain, Mulder would 
never forgive him for trading his child's life for his.  But he 
couldn't allow Mulder to change either.  That was truly a fate worse than death.  Walter knew what he had to do.  The only thing he could do for his sweet Fox was kill him.  

He peered out the door, and then locked it.  Stepping to Mulder's bedside, he began ripping out leads, wires, tubes….anything he could find that might be keeping the man alive.  Alarms were going off, calling for assistance, but Skinner kept going.  His heart was breaking, but he knew he couldn't trust Krycek.  If it meant that both he and Mulder would die, so be it.  At least they would be together.  But still, Mulder breathed.  Skinner reached for the pillow, intending to smother whatever small spark of life was still flickering, when the door burst open, and John Doggett stopped him.  

It turned out that by trying to kill Mulder, he had actually pointed the way to saving him.  Bizarre, but then this was Mulder.  Nothing "normal" ever happened to the man.  The bizarre was commonplace when dealing with Fox William Mulder.  But how could Skinner face his lover after trying, really trying, to kill him?  Would Fox understand?