I WILL SURVIVE
(and the blame/credit for this one goes to our Cougars! Louise and Elaine, I love you both!)
(also thanks to Gloria Gaynor)
SING IT GIRLS!!!
 

At first I was afraid, I was petrified.
When you said you had 10 inches, Lord I almost died!
But I'd spent so many years just waiting for a man that long,
That I grew strong,
And I knew that I could take you on...

But there you are, another lie,
I was ready for a Big Mac and you've brought me a French Fry!
I should have known that it was bulls**t, just a sad pathetic dream,
Should have known there was no Anaconda lurking in those jeans!

Go on now - go, walk out the door,
Don't you promise me 10 inches, then turn up with only 4!
Weren't you a punk to think I wouldn't find you out!?
Don't you know we're only joking when we say size don't count??!!
 

[Chorus]
I will survive! I will survive!
Cuz as long as I have batteries,
My sex life's gonna thrive!
I will always have good sex,
with a handful of latex!
I will survive! I will survive!...Hey! Hey!
 

It took all my self control not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your little wiener standing tall and proud!
But to hell with your ego and to hell with all your needs,
Now I'm saving all my lovin' for a cordless multispeed!
 

[Chorus]
I will survive! I will survive!
Cuz as long as I have batteries,
My sex life's gonna thrive!
I will always have good sex,
With a handful of latex!
I will survive! I will survive!....Hey! Hey!