(To the tune of, and apologies to Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire", written for Sam as a sort of a Christmas present, since I know she loves the original)

Dana Scully, FBI, Fox Mulder wants to cry
Morley smoker, Walter Skinner
Where's the EBE?

Ice core samples, Deep Throat dying,
Scully doubting, Fox still crying
North Pole insects, Max is missing
Truth we still can't see.

Mathieson, contact, Duane Barry, Jose Chung
Krycek is a nasty spy and
Mulder stops for one more cry

Scully's gone, last seen
Skyland Mountain, no dream
Orchestrated, Liver-eating, So long Scully
Goodbye

CHORUS:
We all watch the X-Files
It was all the reruns
Taught us to trust no one
We all watch the X-Files
No we won't deny it
Come on won't you try it?

Dana Scully back again, Detour and Max and then
Agent Pendrell, Sister Missy, even X is dead
Holly, Frank Burst, Cerulean Blue, Schools cursed,
Nisei, Japanese, Inbred mom's in bed.

John Roche, Mad Hat
Queequeg's dead and Virg eats fat
Tunguska jail, Mulder's harmed
Krycek's coming home one-armed

Pusher, Apocrypha, healing man's in Canada
Teena's stroke, ain't no joke
Bounty hunter's coming!

CHORUS

Mulder's dead, Scully's sick
Michael Kritschau did the trick
Implants, Mulder cried,
In the Field Where I died

Scully lives, Cassandra's here
Krycek kissed him, which was queer!
Investigate homicides,
Twilight Time means Fox gets fried

Scully had a baby; monster was a Cher fan
Fox hunt, get away,
Doll said, "I want to play."

Bowman's got the blues; Skinner hasn't got a clue:
shot Modell, read the paint
Put Fox in five point restraints

CHORUS

Gibson Praise, chess pro, seems the kid is psychic
Fowley, Spender, who the heck are these guys?

Bombing down in Dallas, Cancerman is callous,
Shot Fox, shot boss, Scully got a bee sting.

Office fire, life's hard
Mulder's in the psyche ward
Duchovny's gay, in L.A.
What more do we have to say?

CHORUS

Save the boy, Drive the car
Dreamland switch, we've gone too far
Rain king, Ghosts who stole Christmas
Boo hoo
Monday, Wolf-girl, A.D.Kersh, Skinner's sick and
Getting worse
Scully found an alien
And saved Fox from Cancerman

Season seven no surprise
Sam is dead and Mulder cries
Wish comes true, Scully's blue
Snakes, Theefs, Big kiss, eww!
Skinner's in a bubblebath, Spender's feeling
Krycek's wrath
Mulder's gone, made Skinner cry
Doggett is the new guy!

We all watch the X-Files
It was all the reruns
Taught us to trust no one
We all watch the X-Files
But when we are gone
It'll still go on and on and on and on