Male announcer: The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a red zone.
Female announcer: The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a red zone.
Male announcer: The red zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a white zone.
Female announcer: No, the white zone is for loading. Now, there is no stopping in a RED zone.
Male announcer: The red zone has always been for loading.
Female announcer: Don't you tell me which zone is for loading, and which zone is for unloading.
Male announcer: Look Betty, don't start up with your white zone shit again. There's just no stopping in a white zone.
Female announcer: Oh really, Vernon? Why pretend, we both know perfectly well what this is about. You want me to have an abortion.
Male announcer: It's really the only sensible thing to do, if its done safely. Therapeutically there's no danger involved.

Steve McCrosky: This fog is getting thicker!
Johnny: And Leon is getting laaaaarrrrrger!

Johnny: The tower, the tower! Rapunzel, Rapunzel!

[reading newspaper headlines]
Rex Kramer: Passengers certain to die!
Steve McCroskey: Airline negligent.
Johnny: There's a sale at Penny's!

Johnny: [to Mrs. McCroskey] Where did you get that dress, it's awful, and those shoes and that coat, jeeeeez!

Rumack: Elaine, you're a member of this crew. Can you face some unpleasant facts?
Elaine Dickinson: No.

Johnny: Auntie Em, Uncle Henry, Toto! It's a twister! It's a twister!

Young Boy with Coffee: Cream?
Little Girl: No thanks, I take it black, like my men.

Elaine Dickinson: There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?

Rumack: Captain, how soon can you land?
Clarence Oveur: I can't tell.
Rumack: You can tell me. I'm a doctor.
Clarence Oveur: No. I mean I'm just not sure.
Rumack: Well, can't you take a guess?
Clarence Oveur: Well, not for another two hours.
Rumack: You can't take a guess for another two hours?

Rumack: What was it we had for dinner tonight?
Elaine Dickinson: Well, we had a choice: steak or fish.
Rumack: Yes. Yes, I remember. I had lasagna.

Clarence Oveur: Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?

Johnny: Well, it's a big pretty white plane with a red stripe, curtains at the windows, wheels, and it just looks like a big Tylenol!

Old lady: Nervous?
Ted Striker: Yes.
Old lady: First time?
Ted Striker: No, I've been nervous lots of times.

Steve McCroskey: Johnny, what can you make out of this?
[Hands him the weather briefing]
Johnny: This? Why, I can make a hat or a brooch or a pterodactyl -

"Excuse me stewardess, I speak jive."
-Barbara Billingsly
 

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