Ball Ad

^{My
world, welcome to it!}

"Mulder and Scully, Scully and Mulder, blah, blah, blah..."
-Gabe, Scary Monsters

So many people to thank, so many people to congratulate, so many people to mock. And not necessarily in that order. Of course, my mother did say, if you can't say anything nice, come sit next to me...or was it don't put it in your mouth if you don't know where it's been? Whatever.... But relax--if you don't see your name here, it doesn't mean I don't love you...oh, wait, yeah it does. (I kid. I kid because I love...)

"Sounds like crap when you say it."
-Fox Mulder, Field Trip

First thought: Candidates--this is a bar title; I know, I know, doesn't sound like much. But what that means is you are not under the protocolic restraints of an Imperial title, and that means you can make this what you want. Do as much or as little with this title, and the only person you'll need to answer to (besides the board, the management, the volunteers, the members, and every queen with an opinion in the Queen City *L*) is yourself. Having said that, Zak, Deedz, you have HUGE shoes to fill. So if they give you the bling tonight, you better be prepared to work your fucking asses off!!

If I didn't know better, I'd say this was a Mulder stunt."
-Alvin Kersh, Vienen

Mr and Miss Gay Regina 14: Holy crap! Could you guys have worked just a little harder? I am beyond words at the amount of hard work you put into your year. You were everywhere, working your titles, and more than that, representing your city with style, class (well, ass, anyway *L*), grace, tireless leafleting (it was like that Mummy Hand episode of Buffy, Mitch, you were destined to hand out flyers in an endless loop for eternity), and all the crap jobs too--painting, sanding, mudding, singing karaoke (Please, no more Josh Grobin!), cooking (Bananas Foster will live in infamy, Thane!) , more painting, laying carpet, travelling, the list goes on and on. I can only bow to you, and thank you for putting so much into these titles, making them something for our whole city to be proud of. You are, in fact, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! Last thought: Thane, I love you lots (I even remember you from my more sober Calgary days *L*) and you know that, now and always, what's said in the car, stays in the car!!! And you can come frolick with the Lone Gunmen in my living room anytime! Mitch--God, where's a Chris Carter monologue when you need one? If I had to sum up all that we have and all that you've been to me in a single sentence, how could I do it? From X-Files to X-Men, in sun and in Storm (tee hee), from cocktails to coffee with all manner of chips, cookies for dunking and butter pecan creamers in between, it's been amazing, and I guess it just comes down to those three little words:
Bucket Of Chicken!
ps next morning, still drunk, but you were both unbelieveable in your last walks. Love you both!

"Don't think-just pick up that phone and make it happen!"
-Dana Scully, XF Fight The Future

And still more. Why? Cos I'm the pushiest bitch you'll ever meet. Or maybe I just love the sound of my own voice! Eleven years ago (we skipped a year due to moving, and you don't want to try to figure out the math, or you'll wind up being your own grandpa or something) there were no women here. I mean none. Me and four other faghags, and the Lavender Group. Women didn't perform. If we were lucky, we got to buy drinks for queens and maybe help them dress. (Balls in pantyhose--a scent you don't recover from quickly). My enabler got me onto the stage a lifetime ago, and when I realized that maybe I did have something to offer, I kept going back. And when the opportunity for a title arose, I put my faith in my community and offered to represent them as Mr Gay Regina 4. And my community said yes. If you want to know how fabulous it was, give me a shout and I'll give you a copy of that long ago pageant program. All I can tell you is the Empress of Vancouver tried to trade my best friend's husband for a boat, and black sambuca is a bitch to get out of the carpet--isn't that right, Jae?

"The club scene used to be so simple."
-Michael (Nick Lea), Genderbender

Now and then. Gotta say, big snaps for all the girls out there now. Will, Schmoo, Kim Possible, Trey, Sir Jock, just to name a few. There have been more, of course, here and gone too soon. And I have to say thank you for carrying on the tradition started eleven years ago. The one that says that women can do this. That women have a place in this part of the GLBT community. And that women might not have dicks, but by God we've got balls.

"You wanna know why Joey Ramone's my hero? Cause people like you never managed to grind him down. They never stole his spirit. He never gave in. Never gave up and never sold out right til his last breath. And he's not dead. Guys like that. They live forever."
-Richard "Ringo" Langly, Jump The Shark

Okay, special mention time (this is the part where you look for your name):Mr and Miss Gay alumni:Anita Lay, it was great to see you in Calgary. Sean (insert something bland here), Dan, are you still alive? Miss B Haven, thank you for a lifetime of unforgettable experiences, and the best damn haircuts ever! Cherry, forever my Miss and I wish you could be here tonight. But you're rich and famous now, so go hard and know I'll always treasure our year together--except for the you leaving part *L* Russ, still one of the best candidate numbers ever! Jae, you were the first post therapy relationship I had, and I will love you forever. Andrew, are ya out there? Fonda Boyz, loved watching you put in your notice. Nicole, we didn't have enough time. Tiffany, you were the first girl up to bat after me and you did your best. Danny, I think I like you better as a boy--dead sexy! Juicy we miss you! Yada and Andy, the hardest freakin' freaks in show biz! You give me optimism! Iona, you were better as a comic. Dick Hurtz--I love you so much! Martin's a lucky bunny! Justin, you never did figure it out, did you? Wenda, you are so so amazing! I miss you and Ryan both! Will N Toplay--you put me in face-fur, and are one of the hottest guys I know! Kim Possible, the first born-with-a-box-didn't-buy-it-in-Thailand Miss Gay, keep dancing! And our newest alumni, Mitch and Kricket--see above.

A moment please, for Miss Gay Regina 2 Barbie Dahl, and Mr. Gay Regina 4 Craig Hamilton.
Not fair.

"You don't want to forget who your friends are, Agent Mulder; to remember who you can trust."
Walter Skinner, Redux II

And at last, all of you who make it all worth it: Mick, you've taught me so much, and there's so much more I want to learn. God bless you. Jax, Br'er Bear, I love you (get a livejournal now!) Ang, we could have been stardust....Chad, you're going to love Dr. Who and I wish you could be here. Terry, why aren't you here? , Susan, you're the cat's ass--I want to come back! Brian, put a dress on again, and dance for Grandma! Ben, Monique, Dor and all the youth group, thank you for all your help tonight; you go, kids! Andrea, you're our film goddess! More please! Lori(lie), so glad you're happy! Laurie, keep on keepin' on, it's worth it at the end of the day. Trust me. LS, write me some M/Sk, dammit! List sibs far and wide, you keep me sane! Curt, I miss you so much, I guess now just isn't our time. Geoff, Kim, Shane, Thane, Mitch, Pat, Jason, you made PtCS a force to be reckoned with this year--thank you! ps Shane, I love us! More quotes please. Lee, Geoff, Rick, Graeme, good job, just do the work let the board take care of it's own shit. ps Graeme, welcome to the goat rodeo! pps Geoff, quit crying Brianna, welcome back, you're just as amazing as ever! Thanks as usual for all the help. Troy, you always miss bucket o chicken, are you afraid of my house? Dion Boink, thank you so much for the honour--I'm looking forward to introducing Blanche to your dias. Tyra, nice somersault! Court folk: Ryan, Wenda, Schmoo, Crystal, Divine, Tony et al. Love you guys to pieces, I hope your year is going as you had planned. Saturday night kids--take a bath or something. Or sober up. Stay off the drugs and quit being assholes. Oh, and say please! Godiva, Jiminy, Phil, Sabrina, Joe, my Winnipeg clan. Love you all, love the purple pen! There's more and more after that, but remember, if you don't see your name here, buy me a drink and get a mention. I'll be updating drunk in about 15 hours, so who knows what more will come.

Okay, next morning, and there are two things to say. First: congrats to Deedz and Zack/Joel. It was a close one, but you both prevailed. Now show the community they weren't wrong, kay? And, secondly, not to gloat, or anything, but....

(sing song voice) I made Mitchell cry-y, I made Mitchell cry-y *L*