Cameron Poe: There's only two men I trust. One is me. The other is not you.

Garland Greene: Define irony - a bunch of idiots dancing around on a plane to a song made famous by a band that died in a plane crash.

Garland Greene:"One girl, I drove through 3 states wearing her head as a hat"

Duncan Malloy: Garrulous? What the fuck is garrulous?
Vince Larkin: That would be loquacious, verbose, effusive. How about "chatty"?
Duncan Malloy: [to Devers] What's with Dictionary Boy?
Vince Larkin: "Thesaurus Boy", I think, is more appropriate.

Garland Greene: He's a font of misplaced rage. Name your cliché; Mother held him too much or not enough, last picked at kickball, late night sneaky uncle, whatever. Now he's so angry moments of levity actually cause him pain; gives him headaches. Happiness, for that gentleman, hurts.

Vince Larkin: You with me, or do you need me to draw it in crayon, like usual?

Cyrus Grissom:  For me, you're somewhere between a cockroach and that white stuff that accumulates at the corner of your mouth when you're really thirsty.

"Baby O" Odell: That skinny little man butchered thirty-some people up and down the eastern seaboard. They say the way he killed those people makes the Manson Family look like the Partridge Family!

Cameron Poe:  Well…he's on the right flight.

Vince Larkin: Where are you going with my plane, Cyrus?
Cyrus Grissom: We're going to Disneyland.

Garland Greene: Now you're talking semantics. What if I told you insane was working a 50-hour week for 50 years, at the end of which they tell you to piss off. Ending up in some retirement village, hoping to die rather than suffering the indignity of trying to make it to the toilet on time. Wouldn't you consider that to be insane?

[Cyrus has made a map in the dirt using various bits of junk to represent buildings at Lerner Field]

Cyrus Grissom: Considering my audience, I'm gonna make this very quick and very simple. [points with a stick] This is the boneyard. This is the hangar. This is our plane.

Viking: What's that? [points at a rock]

Cyrus Grissom: That's a rock.

Duncan Malloy: Of course you're having trouble reaching him. He's off saving the rain forest, or recycling his sandals or some shit.

Cyrus Grissom: "Make a move and the bunny gets it."

Cameron Poe: Put... the bunny... back... in the box.