Gina: (Wearing nothing but a MusicTown apron) Welcome to MusicTown, may I service you?

Gina: Lucas, what are you doing in here?
Lucas: My life has reached its pinnacle. Joe is letting me close the store tonight.

Warren: (looking at the coins attached to the ground) Who glued these quarters down?
A.J.: I did.
Warren: What the hell for, man?
A.J.: I don't feel that I need to explain my art to you, Warren.

AJ: (to Deb after she walks out of the bathroom bald) You did have hair when you went in there, right?
Debra: Yeah. It's still in the sink, if you want to glue it.

A.J.: What's with you? Yesterday you were normal and today you're like the Chinese guy from the Karate Kid. What's with you today?
Lucas: What's with today today?

Joe: Where's the money, Lucas?
Lucas: Joe, the money is gone.
Joe: I know it's GONE, where's it gone to?
Lucas: Atlantic City.
Joe: Atlantic City?
Lucas: Yeah.
Joe: What's it DOING in Atlantic City?
Lucas: Recirculating!
 

Mark: Hey, Lucas. I've decided I'm going to start a band.
Lucas: The first thing you need is a name. Then you'll know what kind of band you've got.
Mark: Right, right. I was thinking about, um, Marc. How does that sound?
Lucas: Is that with a C or with a K?
Mark: Well my name is with a K, so I was thinking my band's name could be with a C. That way it's kind of that psychedelic, you know, trip thing.
Lucas: Always play with their minds.

A.J.: Mark, listening to this crap is guaranteed to make you sterile.
Mark: [under his breath] Maybe I want to be sterile.

Warren: Why don't you take these CDs and shove them up your ass?
Lucas: Becasue it would hurt a lot, Warren.

Lucas: Mitchell is the man, Joe.
Joe: Yeah, and the man calls all the shots.
Lucas: Damn the man.

Gina: Attention Rex Manning fans! To your left you will notice a shoplifter being chased by night manager Lucas, this young man will be caught, deep fried in hot oil and served to our first hundred customers. Just another tasty treat from the gang at Empire Records!