Hey, whaddya call a smart blonde? A golden retriever!
Just kidding.

Got my cds on Valentines day, and I lost it on so many levels, you can't imagine. I just want to believe so bad. Every song is a treat, to my ears, or to my head, or to my heart, or maybe just something that I always wanted but never could have. And the amount of love that was poured into the soundtrack simultaneously makes me beg god up in heaven to give me some of that sweet sweet stuff, and weep for all that's gone on before. It's hot, I tell ya HOT hot!! And there are a couple of songs that are on there for me, which also made me cry...dunno if it's that someone could care so much, or that someone could care so much and , in theory anyway, be a real person...Meaning not a character on a TV show.

I didn't even know there was a whole theme song!

Chat was way fun on Friday...so nice to get a sense of normalcy, if you know what I mean...oh, and that smile, kid, you don't know, and I can't explain, even tried to tell friends here til they started looking at me funny and backing away slowly ha ha...I mean, I don't know why a crappy emoticon works for me--everyone else uses them too, but his is different...I said I don't know why! And if I can't explain it to myself, how the hell can I explain it to the masses.

I wish I didn't have to eat, sleep, work or drink...more time to write *L*

Oh, and did I tell you there was a card? I am such a fucking sucker for shit like that...again with the tears if I hadn't been working. Instead, I made that ___ seeing ___ sound, somewhere between a squeak and a whimper, and could not wipe that shit eating grin off of my face all damned night! The glasses were just the icing on the cake, and the cake was so rich already that I didn't know whether to die or ask for seconds...You're right, it is a kind of magic...

Okay, getting away from there before I soil myself...just, last thought, but who knew someone could care like that? I am overwhelmed, and wish with all my heart there was some way I could convey that...

Seriously, ___ and I bonded little bit today, and that felt so good! Went and saw ___ in three plays, and did I tell you ___ got her hair done? Season 5, I think, only darker. Looks good. Spent some time with the husbandless ___ today, too. I understand that they play it the way they will, but I have to say that I could not have that sort of relationship. I don't think that's being co-dependent, I just think it's more of an "i need more than that" thing. What I mean is that I'm looking for something a little more fanficky, and I think it's out there (maybe sitting in a room somewhere down South?--yeah, heh heh, good one) and I don't think that when the time comes I will have to compromise what I want on that level. Sure, there's some give and take, but there are certain things that I plan to take. I am definitely ___ and ___ a la chatroom, more than I will ever be ___ and ___, as fabulous as they are....

I've just got too much celebrating to do, know what I mean?

Last thought: Bicycle race...fat bottomed girls they'll be riding today...