Chandler: Hey!
I've had it with you guys and your 'cancer' and your 'emphysema' and
your 'lung disease'...The bottom line is smoking is cool, and you know
it.
Phoebe: They have a liking problem
with you... in that they don't.
Phoebe: Hey, if we were in prison,
you guys would be like my bitches.
Phoebe: Hey, can we turn on the TV?
I think it's raining outside.
Phoebe: Come on Ross, you're a
paleontologist, dig a little deeper.
Chandler: If I turn into my
parents, I'll either end up an overage blonde chasing after 20-year-old
boys... or I'll end up like my mom.
Ross: Stupid British snack food.
Ross: You know, we should probably
ask the doctor if she even knows how to deliver a baby that's half
human, half *pure evil*!
Monica: Guys can fake it?
Unbelievable! The one thing that's ours!
Rachel: Sure. Sure, I'll just sit
next to the... transsexual from purchasing.
Chandler: I can handle this.
"Handle" is my middle name. Actually, "handle" is the middle of my
first name.
Chandler: Joey ate my last stick of
gum, so I killed him. Do you think that was wrong?
Phoebe: Pheobe. That's, P, as in
Phoebe, H, as in heobe, O as in oebe, E, as in ebe, B, as in bebe, and
E as in... Ello there mate.
Phoebe: I may play the fool at
times but I'm a little more than just a pretty blonde girl with an ass
that won't quit.
Phoebe: Charlotte? You know, with
the web? She has babies, then she dies. It's like, "Hey, mom, welcome
home from the hospital." THUD.
Chandler: No, no, no. This isn't
out of the blue. This is smack dab in the middle of the blue.
Monica: Whoa. Where you going in
those pants? 1982?
Joey: Why do you have to break up
with her? Be a man. Just stop calling.
Ross: I guess I should have
known... we'd be out somewhere, and a beautiful woman would go by, and
Carol would go, "Ross, look at her." And I'd think, "My wife is cool."
Ross: First divorce: wife's hidden
sexuality, not my fault. Second divorce: said the wrong name at the
altar, kind of my fault. Third divorce: they shouldn't let you get
married when you're that drunk and have stuff drawn all over your face,
Nevada's fault.
Chandler: Look, Ross, you gotta
understand, between us we haven't had a relationship that has lasted
longer than a Mento. You, however have had the love of a woman for four
years. Four years of closeness and sharing at the end of which she
ripped your heart out, and that is why we don't do it. I don't think
that was my point.
Monica: "Throbbing pens"? Don't
wanna be around when he writes with those.
Monica: Is it me? Is it like I have
a beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can
hear?
Chandler: I'm not so good with the
advice... Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
