"Gay sex is so hot."
I'm going to meet Tom. You know what? I'm not even going to think about it. I'm going to close my eyes and do what I want. Oh, hey, hello, I'm George Bush!
"Mom, can I take you to my therapist? Because he thinks I'm making you up."
"Look, Karen, I'm sorry, but taking care of children is a huge responsibility. It's more "Tickle Me, Elmo" and less... ”Let's fill Elmo up with drugs and smuggle him across the border."
"If you were any gayer, you'd be Elton John's fanny pack."
"My ball smells. Smell my ball."
"There was a time when I thought about being a lesbian, but it seemed like a lot of extra work."
"I haven't seen Jack this upset since they hired a female urologist at the free clinic."
"My love for you is like this scar-ugly, but permanent."
"...it's 'you look hot', or 'you turn me on', not 'one look at you proves I'm a queer'!"
"Is it just me, or are you hot in here?"
"It's not just for alcoholics anymore."
"Free therapy *and* free food? For Jews is like hitting the lottery."
"You're gay, you've got the kinky built in!"
"You people should be studied...I feel like a Jewish Jane Goodal and you're Goyim in the Mist!"
"Wow, you're more Gay by 9:00am than most people are all day."
"Look at me. I'm all bloated and mannish. I look like Puff the Magic Drag Queen."
"Yup. I've designed a meditation room that could drive the Dalai Lama to bitch-slap Richard Gere."
"Look, I've been playing with myself and I feel much more
confident."