"There's
always a lot of rich old gay guys at those things looking for younger
gay guys to take care of. You know, the way Dick Cheney takes care of
George Bush."
XXX
Hello. Nice shirt. Somewhere, a ballerina is shivering.
"I'd rather be a fag than afraid."
"Hey, you wanna be my second choice for the movies? We can go to a family film and look for gay subtext."
" I don't really like voting. What's the point of stepping into a booth if you can't get fondled?"
"Happier than a gay teen with new ice skates."
Hello, "Day-Old News?" Yeah, I'd like to cancel Will Truman's subscription. Yeah. he's going to be giving his business to "Behind the Times." OK. OK, OK. OK. I love you, too. Bye-bye.
"Welcome to Cynical Island, population: you."
"Does a gay bear have anonymous sex in the woods?"
"Who needs brains when you can lick your own eyebrows?"
"In Native American mythology, the refrigerator is the portal to dead fat people."
"What kind of man doesn't want a roadside manicure from his own son?"
"Show me Hateful!"
" I'm in the third stage of the grieving process. I'm past anger and denial and into leather."
"It's time to put the 'sex' back in 'homosexual', Will!"
"You're my new best friend, call me every five minutes!"
"I hate Uncle Sam. I am so *over* older men."
I do not heart prison anymore.
"Remember: no pecs, no sex."
"Making someone gay is exhausting. I don't know how my mother did it."
"Ah yes, many have sought my council on this subject. They say Jack is a wise man, Jack is a dangerous man, Jack is a great man.... No! Jack is just a man. A man who knows men who like men."
"Eating and singing? You might as well sit on the toilet and pick your feet." -critiquing the sex video Grace made for Leo.
"Sarcasm noted and quickly forgotten."
"What are you upset about? It's not like you found out you were adopted. Or Canadian."
"Hello dark roast my old friend."
"Fill me to the rim"
"You had better wake up and smell the coffee because it's here, it's hot and it's black!"
"Sounds like somebody needs a backrub on her front."
"Some-fun-young-guy-Han-So-lo"-Jack's meditation mantra
"Sex is a drug, Karen. I should know, I'm a licensed dealer."
"Did you bite her head off and get to the creamy center?"
"I'm turning my pain into art."
"Somebody had a little too much crazy powder in her protein shake this morning."
"I'm on the set of my new movie: Poorly Decorated Crackhouse."