" Great! I can stash my books, my porn, and dead hookers in here.. I feel like a Kennedy!"
" Maybe I'm not doomed to a life of cans of chicken noodle soup and Lifetime... At least someone is taking a chance on someone who was deemed " Unfuckable" by his fellow peers"
" Boys are never clean. No one likes a dirty,smelly boy unless they
are crawling out of your bedsheets to go off and chew on a piece of pancake..."
channeling Tori
" I'm sorry.. but I just don't like the idea that I'm eating Bambi..."
on the deer meat that will be served at a company christmas party
this week
" Don't lie to him... Tell him the truth. He's not going to be a prince
but a Hot Gunslinging Bishie!!! Tell him he will be so famous that girls
will yell that they want to have his baby and throw their panties on stage...
"
to the scene where "Adam" ( Johnny Yong Bosch) said " I'm
a frog" from the Power Ranger Movie
" Evil? Are you saying that I might be evil? Nah... I'm only evil on the weekends..."
"Friends don't let Tone deaf friends sing Musicals in Public"
"A friend of mine asked me what I would like for christmas...I told her. " I want Ewan Mcgregor, Jude Law, and Jason David Frank tied up under my christmas tree...She rolled her eyes and said... " I'll just get you a scented candle...""
"Does it really matter what hair coloring kit you use? Men or women, it's still color in a bottle!"
"Please... My family would make " The Corrections " look like a sappy, watered- down after-school special."
" I may be odd, I may be weird, but I gotta be me."
" Ultrasounds and Women with baby are fine but Young men and ultrasound
just look like a photo op for the Weekly World News. I can see the headlines
" Healthy Human Male Expecting Two Headed Demon Baby!"
on what he thought of the whole ultrasound experience