Which I always am. Now I know, I know, I'm old, I should be sleeping
lots, but hell, who has the time? (T is also for time, though there's less
of that than of the fatigue). I'm already spending hours of downtime when
there's so much to do.
Ach, but for my own laziness. Sometimes I can't do what I need to,
what I ought to, what I want to. I wind up just curling up with a book,
a friend, a daydream, and nothing gets accomplished. So I stay up a little
later, and get a little more tired.
And even sleep, when it comes, is no friend. Either I'm tossing and
turning (two more terrific T words) because I'm worried, or feeling like
there's something missing, something undone, something that I should be
doing besides lying there on the couch, wishing the arms were real and
listening to Mulder pontificate on dvd all night.... Or, coma city, baby--I
go til I drop in the traces (which begins with....you got it, T! *L*) and
then I'm done. Can't function, can't do anything. Just out like death for
a few hours, rejuvenating, I guess, getting ready for the next round of
writing, reading, posting, printing, cleaning, cooking, working, coffee-ing,
hosting, singing (well, not in public) dancing, all that good stuff that
makes life worth living.
If I didn't have to sleep. Where's the Sleepless docs from Vietnam
when you need them? Sure, hallucinations and a bad case of red eye, but
hell, you get to live two lifetimes.
I'd probably still be tired....