NEGATIVES:

-Shelf ass: Like I thought there was a hope in hell of me ever having a viable "real" relationship with anyone anyway, ha ha...well now I've got an ass the size of Texas, and about a million chins, and it doesn't look like that's changing, oh, EVER, so yeah, it sucks...
-So hurting all the time--feet, back, arms legs...
-cold weather, and just when is it gonna end already?
-I miss my cigarettes...good ol dependable smokey...
-my bathroom walls, which are only slightly less sketchy than my carpet, which in turn would look as bad as my bed...if I could remember what the bed looked like...
-feeling like time is flying by...
-___'s suicide, the grimness of it all, not to mention the weirdness, and remembering how it was when I was fifteen, and I thought all was right with the world...
-missing ___, and wondering if I'm going to have to go through this over and over again, not knowing what fucking lesson I'm supposed to be learning, and getting really really tired of it...
-offering to help ___ move. What the hell was I thinking. I am way too fat and broken to be hauling furniture up and down three flights of stairs. Ugh!!!
-it looks like another hearth spot on my leg, this one on my calf...and I'm wondering if this means another twelve weeks of hives, and if that means that from now on I won't get colds like normal people, I'll just look like a fucking leper...how nice for me...
 

POSITIVES:

-My Giles epiphany, and how it shot straight to the good bits of me in a way nothing has in for-fucking-ever!!! But how could it not. Crying, glasses, tea making, hell , even kicky suspenders and a terrific basket shot---I am so in!!!!
-tea
-being able to pay bills and buy myself things that aren't cigarettes!
-show at the Owl tonight, and I think it will be fun
-computer's behaving again, and that's a bonus. I don't feel like crying every time I turn it on now, although I do hate that screeching at the start when the IBM logo comes up...
-___ and ___, and that's all Im gonna say.
-One month smoke free!! whoo!! Happy anniversary happy anniversary happy anniversary, happy anniversary!! I am really amazing, when you think about it. At least in this regard...
-amazing new socks, that feel like I'm walking on clouds, and they were the cheapest ones in the store!!
-___ and all that goes with that little emotional rollercoaster...always a warm hug on a cold day...
-better sales at the club this week, and less crazy people...