So here's the deal. Small bit o insecurity.  Happens to the best of us, I'm afraid.  I know what I get out of our relationship, but somethimes I wonder what the hell he gets out of it! I mean, I've just babbled about him, and I think you have a pretty good idea where my head is at, but I guess what I'm trying to say is how does he feel about me? I'm not looking for an ego rub, and I don't expect to hear "I love you". I guess I'm just trying to psychoanalyze and (god, get more therapy, girl!) justify my feelings, as though they are inadequate without confirmation from someone else. Am I on drugs? Maybe I'm still afraid of pushing too far. Like it's some ultra-polite game of Mother, May I. "Mother, may I touch you there?" "Mother, may I do this?" Only sometimes, mother doesn't answer. (OOH, HOW ALIEN). Then, other times I feel like he's waiting for me to make the first move. You know what I mean. But, god, for an old cocktease like me that can be such a bitch. All talk and no action, y'know. Oh, hell, I don't know what i'm talking about. Then, other times, he moves first. That makes me feel special, which I guess is pretty pathetic in a sick and twisted way. But it's too late to turn back now. I never thought that "turned his head under her hand in an instinctively feline gesture" would ever get past any of my stories. Thought for the day: Love means never having to say "how was I?" tee hee...