Hey! Mama got a DVD player!!! Yay me!!! Have only watched Avatar five times--had no idea that ___ cums in it. How fucking fabulous was that? I've babbled about the ep on lists and on the slash page and the slashguide, so I won't go on and on here, but I got all of season 3 and it kicks fucking ass!! And the player rocks!!! Am loving it to bits--I only have the X-files DVDs, but I'll keep an eye out for others. At this point, I just can't justify 20 or 30 bucks for a movie--too pricy!! I did get Night Of the Living Dead, tho, cos it's a classic, and it was only 7 dollars!!!!

I have had writer's block for a couple of weeks now, which totally sucks. I can see my boys, in my head, doing, well you know what they're doing--but I just can't seem to get the words out. I am going to try some exercises today which might help. I also have two stories to beta for ___. She has been totally patient about this, which is a very good thing. She is totally sweet!! I'd love to meet her, or ___ sometime, but I don't think it's in the cards.

Did I mention I got a DVD player? *L*

Got a new printer, too, so now I can hardcopy my porn and my fanmail again yay me.

Hard week at work, boring and annoying and all the rest. I should be working somewhere else, but you know how it is, safety and complacency and what have you, and there you are. I just have no vested interest in the place, and that's not a good thing, really. Oh well, it pays the bills for now...

___ hasn't been sleeping this week--oh look, someone else with a Mulder disorder. Just think, ___, when ___ had insomnia, he wound up in a ___-sized headlock. This is not a bad thing. Of course, he also got shot by his partner, and his dad was murdered, but I really don't think that had to do with not sleeping. Aside from that, he's really a fabulous friend. I feel at ease with him, and enjoy his company. I always have those little niggling moustache growing doubts, but I'm sure if I was acting like ___,. he'd probably be the first to tell me. Okay, I'd be the first to tell me--see, some of the therapy worked!--, but he'd be a close second. I just don't feel like I have to pretend to be something I'm not around him, and that's a very heady feeling some days. I'm as paranoid as ___ most of the time, still dealing with decades old trust issues, but I don't get so antsy around him.

Speaking of trust issues, that's probably why I'm loving my relationship, such as it is, with ___. No need for issues when you can just hit a delete button. Not that I would, but it's a bit of a power thing, which goes hand in hand with those crazy safety issues, which I still have despite not having been knocked around or on welfare for nearly ten years now. Wow, just about as long as since I've done the nasty. mmm, now there's some issues.

I have to call ___ today, see if he wants to do brunch. I'll call ___, too, even though that's more of just a formality. I don't know where all that went wrong, but I just can't have a relationship with someone when I'm constantly on guard about what I say, and presuming that the other person is looking at me with a combination of scathing contempt and maybe even a little disgust. Maybe it aint so, but that doesn't mean that's not how I feel. So that's ugly and staying on the phone, although I have some beer for the trophy wife, so I'll wander that over eventually. Did I mention I got a DVD player? They have three of them, three computers, and six cd players...

Haven't even touched on the whole couch time with ___ thing, which was more fabulous than I can say. He leaves tomorrow and we hardly got to see one another, but the time we did have was fun, and there's no trust issues there. Perfectly fine and dandy, at least for me. And physical contact, limited though it was, was definitely a healthy thing. It does appear that my imagination works well, though--seems to be the same as the real thing, at least in theory...That probably makes no sense, but it does to me, so there.

Kay, gotta go get ready for brunch. Later, folks...