Another week in the trenches for us grunts--you know we're all crazy zombie orc marines deep down inside. Speaking of marines, I just read a marine story by ___. Haven't seen new stuff from her in a while. It was fun, but I just can't get behind ___ as bottom. I don't know if it's him, or if it's cos ___ is such a nelly thing. Little from column a, little from column b, I guess.

This week has been pretty good. I got all my betaing done (for now). I might even get a new story done today, although i am still blocking majorly. I did a rough outline, hoping that would help, and it did, a little. You see, i have these damned pictures in my head, and sometimes on my couch, if the truth be told--don't ask, it will only scare you--but then I have to fill in all the extra stuff inbetween. You know, dialogue, movement, etc., and that's not going as well as usual. Maybe I am feeling a little added pressure because I am writing this particular story for ___ and I really want him to like it. I should just take ten deep breaths, listen to ___ and ___ and do what they say, never mind anyone else. At least as far as the writing goes.

The bar was super sketchy on Friday. As ___ would say, in his best family feud way: "Show me Inbreds!!" Or as __ would say, "How many cousins have to marry to get that?" It was nasty. A little busy, though, and the tips were good. I had ___ as my busser instead of ___, which was fine, as he is a hottie, pretty bright, and seems to know what he's doing. He really needs to date a better class of men, tho. Don't know what his fascination with the bottom of the food chain is, but, I guess, if he isn't doing me, he has to do someone *L* He's somewhat of a drama queen, too, but hopefully he'll grow out of that.

This week was a little wierd in a flashbacky sort of way. Saw ___'s show at the Globe, with about 20 people from the youth group and beyond, and that was super fun. It was a neat show cos I knew most of the players in real life. Sad about the AIDS thing, but it's not a place I really want to go. I remember when it all started for us, I used to keep the obits in my wallet. When my wallet was stolen in 1986, I was hovering around the 40 mark. So sad, such a tragic waste...

The night before the show, ___ and I went for coffee and it was really nice. We actually stayed longer than an hour, although I went for a smoke break. I still bite my tongue a bit, wanting to babble about this story, or that cyberfriend, but for now, I'll just let sleeping dogs lie. Note, tho, at coffee he said he doesn't believe low self-esteem exists. Well, poodle, I've seen it. It does.

Last night there was a court function. I can tell already just how involved I am going to be this year--I will be the one behind the bar, serving cocktails after the function. I can live with ___ and ___ and the whole happy gang on a regular night, but on a function night, there's a little bit too much of the old "my shit doesn't stink" thing going around, thanks, and I know that I can be guilty of it too, but whatever. Even ___ gets that way, and I hate it. I guess the ancient history is too ancient for most of the new folks to understand why I am not bending over backwards to kiss royal ass. Hell, you freaks, I've done it twice too. What's the big deal. On a lighter side, though, I know my court is in good hands, and I don't have to worry about it. And yes, it is my court. I was there when ___ and ___ were asked by Calgary to start the Barony ( which, by the by ___ and ___ would have no part of, just FYI), and I bet if I had said no, ___ would have too. So there. Last thought, everyone from S'toon makes my skin crawl except for ___.

___ looked super hot last night.

The dishwasher caught on fire and we had to evacuate the bar. Most people didn't take it seriously, so it's a good thing it wasn't a real fire, or they'd all be dead now. Okay, maybe that wouldn't have been such a loss for some of them, but still, not a nice way to go. It was a rough night, without proper management and all, but what do you do? I hope they hire someone soon. All the queens looked terrific last night, except for ___ and ___ who looked like whores, and ___ looked absolutely exquisite!!! Too bad she was crazy drunk. Don't know what issues she's trying to drown in alcohol, but I suspect it has to do with either ___ or ___.

___ has been amazing this week, with late night phone calls, coffee, two nights at the bar in a row, and last night blew my fucking doors off. He not only had interesting things to say, and listened to me, when he left he asked for a hug and gave me a kiss, and even threw one of my quotes from some coffee or another, or this journal, or whatever, back at me--I didn't think he was even listening. Anyway, it totally threw me for a fucking loop, but in that good way. I just felt like I had gone back in time, and my heart was about to explode--I couldn't get the smile off my face. it was super bizarre!!!

Well, guess what, kiddies, it's brunch time again. i have to phone ___. Did I tell you his dad died. He's holding up not bad. ___ is here in town with him. I wish he would move here. I also have to call the kids, and make sure that ___ has a way to get down here. I like her so much. If she was a lesbian and I was a lesbian....just kidding, ___, don't get your shorts in a twist...

Last thought: Chat on Friday kicked major ass!! Can't wait for next friday!!!!

Go on, go on come on leave me breathless...