"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner,
you'd better have a good hand."
--Woody Allen
"I wasn't paying for sex. I was paying for her to leave afterwards."
-Charlie Sheen on prostitution
"It is impossible
to obtain a conviction for sodomy from an English jury. Half of them don't
believe that it can physically be done, and the other half are doing it."
-Winston Churchill
"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
-Billy Crystal
"A hard man is good to find."
-- Mae West
"The score never interested me, only the game."
-- Mae West
"There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes
that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid!"
-- Denis Leary
"If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing slowly ... very slowly."
-- Gypsy Rose Lee
"When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important
lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities."
- Matt Groening.
"I'm just looking for that moment to drop my Jedi knickers and pull
out my real light saber. "
-Ewan McGregor
"Coffee without
caffeine is like sex without the spanking."
-Jeremy Piven
"Sex means
spank and beautiful means bottom and always will."
-Kenneth Tynan
"When I was
drinking, I gave a lot of unnecessary head."
-Margaret
Cho
"There's a creepy connection between leather sex, 'Star Trek' and Renaissance
fairs."
-Margaret Cho
"What do I know about sex? I'm a married man."
-Tom Clancy
"Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as meaningless experiences
go, it's pretty damned good."
-Woody Allen
"As the French say, there are three sexes: men, women and clergymen."
- Rev. Sydney Smith
"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday
night."
-Woody Allen
"It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married."
-Matt Barry
"Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for
the rest of your life."
-Michael Sinz
"Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast."
-Woody Allen
"Sex" is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight
are unimportant."
- Henry Miller
"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome
things that money can buy."
- Steve Martin
"You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither".
- Drew Carey
"If it weren't for pickpockets I'd have no sex life at all."
- Rodney Dangerfield
" All pop music is about sex. Rock is about wanting to do it, jazz is
about doing it, and country and western is about feeling guilty after you've
done it."
- Robert Waldo Brunelle, Jr.
"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
- George Burns
"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual
arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is
the Mercedes-Benz 500SL convertible."
- A mercedes salesman