The only thing this song could possibly have to do with today's entry is that I love it lots, and, okay, mentions tears and tired a bit, which I have and I am. No big tears, just tired, hormonal tears. But it happens, and you have no idea--once a month, at least, I think, what am I doing? Who do I make a deal with to not be a woman? I'd be more than happy to have that foolish and mostly aesthetically unattractive tube of flesh hanging between my legs if I didn't have to go thru this crap. I mean, here I am, la la la, skipping merrily through life, not a care, or at least none I can't handle, when all of a sudden, oops, look, this is me tripping over a stupid pile of 'nobody loves me' here in the middle of the road and falling face first into a putrid puddle of 'what the hell is wrong with me?'. By the time I pull myself out of it, get that low self esteem gunk outta my clothes, wash my hair and face, it's almost time for another round of it. Gah!

It's enough to make you go for the power tools...
whhrrrrrrrrrr...

Okay, that made me smile. So did seeing Jae last night, for the first time in ever! I thought he was on holiday, but apparently he didn't get my last email...who knew? He was all full of intense but not drunk  (!) hugs, which was cool. I'll ring him up for coffee today if I get my housework done.

I know it's going to be okay, but the next month and a half are going to be long, having those additional "shit, what if I really am a freak" bats cluttering up my belfry. Lots of deep breaths, and hopefully by the time it comes, I won't actually pee twice and faint, I'll just have a really good time.

On the other hand, I was hungry in a bad way yesterday, so maybe make that shirt a little bigger *L*

All of you, even if I haven't seen you online as much as I'd like, or called or written, know that I love ya just like I always have, and that the processing is just taking its toll a little. I'll be back to my rockin' party self soon.

Cheers!
 

 Into the West by Annie Lennox
 Lay down
Your sweet and weary head
The night is falling
You have come to journey's end
Sleep now
And dream of the ones who came before
They are calling
From across the distant shore

Why do you weep?
What are these tears upon your face?
Soon you will see
All of your fears will pass away
Safe in my arms
You're only sleeping

What can you see
On the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea
A pale moon rises
The ships have come to carry you home

And all will turn
To silver glass
A light on the water
All Souls pass

Hope fades
Into the world of night
Through shadows falling
Out of memory and time
Don't say
We have come now to the end
White shores are calling
You and I will meet again
And you'll be here in my arms
Just sleeping

Chorus

And all will turn
To silver glass
A light on the water
Grey ships pass
Into the West