"More like Zak "What the EF is wRONg--bi-i-i-itch,
please!"
SNL, Weekend Update
"She's a dark destroyer of men and empires and
we used to go to tennis camp together."
Circe Nightshade aka Molly Shannon re: The
Countess Cobwella aka Sarah Michelle Gellar
a ''Goth Talk" skit on Saturday Night Live
"My mommy says erections are as natural as stormy
days, I'm going through a rainy season."
-unknown, SNL
"Slap on as much paint as you like lady, the house
still needs renovations."
-Phil Hartman, SNL
"I'm gonna need you to step outside our invisa-sphere...
zzzz-zip!"
-unknown, SNL
"The Greek Army, where the only way to separate
the boys from the men is with crowbars."
-Pierce Brosnan, SNL
"They took my comrade and put him in a round room
then told him to sit in a corner. He ended up killing himself."
-Polish Army Commander, SNL
I am a human being, not a human doing.
Stuart Smalley, SNL
I got a FEVER! And the only prescription...is
MORE COWBELL!
-Bruce Dickinson (Christopher
Walken)
Director Todd Solondz is complaining that the producers of his new movie made him edit out a scene in which James van der Beek is on the receiving end of anal sex. When asked for a comment, van der Beek said, "They were FILMING that?" -Jimmy Fallon
"Jane, you ignorant slut..."--Dan Ackroyd