Dedication: For Michele, my angel

=====

UNDER ATTACK

Between heartbeats, Mulder completely forgot to
breathe. He gasped in a little air, still reeling from
Alex's declaration of love. His pulse hammered in his
head while his analytical thinking kicked into
overdrive. Suddenly his long fingers were trembling.

Fox had vividly imagined scenarios of what seeing his
ex-lover again would be like. But no daydream had
prepared him for this. Already his flushed face, not
to mention his stirring crotch, betrayed his emotions.

Alex stood beside the door ready to leave. A little
voice kept screaming at Mulder to stop him, to make
him stay and talk, make him stay and -- Mulder shook his head. He didn't know how to take this. Had Alex Krycek really changed? Could he really trust him again?

Those predatory green eyes glinted in the gloom and
suddenly Fox felt his resistance running low. His
heart picked up pace.

Every day without Alex had left a void in his life,
and the void was growing wider. Alone at night is when
it troubled him the most. It troubled him to think one
person could have such a powerful hold over him. Fox
Mulder may be a lot of things, but he was nobody's
fool. What if this was a confidence trick? Some plot
to earn his trust again? Mulder realized he didn't
have a strategy to help him. His lips tingled from the
passionate kiss Alex had planted on him when
he swept inside the apartment.

He watched as Alex's hand reached for the doorknob.
That beautiful hand that could work a magic spell over
his body. A hand that he longed for and missed. He
steeled himself. He couldn't let his heart be taken as
easily as candy from a baby.

Alex turned and whispered, "If you need me, you know
I'll always be here for you."

It was at that moment that Fox Mulder realized he was
under attack. His cool facade was about to crack. All
of his defences were breaking. If he didn't keep Alex
here tonight, he was sure to fall apart.

"Alex, wait!" he impulsively called.

Once more the Russian hunter fixed him with those
gleaming eyes. Mulder knew there and then that nothing
would stop him now. And to be honest, Fox was not sure
if he even knew how.

Swallowing hard, Mulder hoarsely continued, "Just stay
a while, okay? I mean, you came all the way over
here."

With a boyish grin, Alex carefully moved further
inside. Mulder gestured toward the sofa and they both
sat down. The pair resembled a couple of teenagers on
their first date; hesitantly sitting at a distance.

Alex could barely contain his nerves. The silence
between them was broken by the aquarium humming. He
glanced over and raised his eyebrows.

"I see Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon are still living it up," he
observed.

Mulder couldn't help it, he just had to smile. The two
large goldfish -- named after Alex's favorite "Star
Wars" characters -- swam through the illuminated
water. After seeing "The Phantom Menace", Alex had
sworn up and down that those two just had to be
lovers. Meantime, Mulder had nodded, hummed the theme
music and stared up at the twinkling stars, wondering
what Alex would look like in those sexy Jedi robes.

"How've you been?" asked Fox awkwardly.

Alex peered at him, and there was such sincerity in
his eyes, that Fox actually felt his heart quake.
"Miserable without you."

It took a lot to leave Fox Mulder speechless, and this
simple, honest sentence did the trick. 
This is getting crazy, he thought. I should really
tell him how angry I am. Somehow persuade him that I
just can't risk opening my life to him again.
Definitely not!

"Mulder, look," he began, his voice soft as his
angelic features. "I know that you're scared. Hell, I
am, too. I just know that I can't live without you."

His presence, his eyes, his words -- they were
something like a magic spell, drawing Fox ever closer.
He inched toward him. He hardly dared to think of what
would happen... Then, he stopped thinking and fell.
Here I go again!

Mulder suddenly lost control, reached forward and
wrapped a surprised Krycek into a warm embrace.

"Oh, Fox," Alex said, running his hands up and down
the lean man's back, stoking a fire within his soul.

Drawing his face close, Mulder pressed his lips
tenderly to Alex's. An explosion of emotions burst
inside his mind, and Fox forgot everything: all the
animosity and hurt vanished. There was no way he could
resist his lover any longer.

He slowly pulled back to look at him. "I've been so
broken-hearted without you, too," he admitted. "Why
did I ever let you go?"

Alex leaned forward and kissed away the tears
glistening on Fox's cheeks. His hungry mouth trailed
down to Mulder's neck, dotting it with soft kisses.
Alex relished the taste of his body, then held him
snuggly to his chest.

Mulder knew he didn't have to be strong with Alex, he
never could. "Somehow, I always knew you'd come back,"
he said.

Alex brought his warm, sweat breath close and kissed
him with a passion so intense that it sent a pulse
straight down Mulder's spine. Parting his lips ever so
slightly, he allowed Alex's luscious tongue access to
explore his mouth. Alex was a master of his craft and
Mulder became putty in his hands.

Whew! Mamma mia! He had to have him now!

[to be continued...]

*****
"Under Attack"
(B. Andersson, B. Ulvaeus)

Don't know how to take it
Don't know where to go
My resistance running low
And everyday the hold is getting tighter
And it troubles me so

(You know that I'm nobody's fool)

I'm nobody's fool and yet it's clear to me
I don't have a strategy
It's just like taking candy from a baby
And I think I must be

Under attack
I'm being taken
About to crack
Defences breaking
Won't somebody please have a heart
Come and rescue me now
'Cause I'm falling apart
Under attack
I'm taking cover
He's on my track
My chasing lover
Thinking nothing can stop him now
Should I want to
I'm not sure I would know how

This is getting crazy
I should tell him so
Really let my anger show
Persuade him that the answer to his questions
Is a definite no!

(I'm kind of flattered that's the truth)

Guess I'm kind of flattered
But I'm scared as well
Something like a magic spell
I hardly dare to think of what would happen
Where I'd be if I fell

Under attack
I'm being taken
About to crack
Defences breaking
Won't somebody please have a heart
Come and rescue me now
'Cause I'm falling apart
Under attack
I'm taking cover
He's on my track
My chasing lover
Thinking nothing can stop him now
Should I want to
I'm not sure I would know how...

© 1983 Polar Music International AB

*****
"Mamma Mia"
(B. Andersson, S. Anderson, B. Ulvaeus)

I've been cheated by you
Since I don't know when
So I made up my mind
It must come to an end
Look at me now
Will I ever learn
I don't know how
But I suddenly lose control
There's a fire within my soul

Just one look and I can hear a bell ring
One more look and I forget everything
Whoa-oa

Mamma mia!
Here I go again
My, my how can I resist you
Mamma mia!
Does it show again
My, my just how much I miss you
Yes, I've been broken hearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let you go
Mamma mia!
Now I really know
My my, I could never let you go

I've been angry and sad about things that you do
I can't count all the times
That I told you we're through
And when you go
When you slam the door
I think you know
That you won't be away too long
You know that I'm not that strong

Just one look and I can hear a bell ring
One more look and I forget everything
Whoa-oa

Mamma mia!
Here I go again
My my, how can I resist you
Mamma mia!
Does it show again
My my, just how much I missed you
Yes, I've been broken hearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why why, did I ever let you go

Mamma mia!
Even if I say "Bye-bye, leave me now or never"
Mamma mia!
It's a game we play
Bye-bye doesn't mean forever
Mamma mia!
Here I go again
My, my how can I resist you
Mamma mia!
Does it show again
My my, just how much I missed you
Yes, I've been broken hearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why why, did I ever let you go
Mamma mia!
Now I really know
My my, I could never let you go.

© 1975 Polar Music International AB