"Sorry, you have me confused with the other angel, you know, the one in the dirty trench coat who's in love with you."--Balthazar (to Dean)
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Dean: (to Sam) You stink like sex.
(to Sammy about his girly coffee choice)
Dean: Your half-caf, double vanilla latte is getting cold over here, Francis.
Dean : What do you want me to do, Sam, huh? Sit around all day writing sad poems about how I’m going to die? You know what, I’ve got one. Let’s see, what rhymes with "Shut up, Sam"?
Dean: Of course, the most troubling question is, why do these people assume we're gay?
Dean: A Hand of Glory? I think I got one of those at the end of my Thai massage last week.
Dean : You think your being funny but your being really really childish... Sam Winchester wears make-up... Sam Winchester cries his way through sex... Sam Winchester keeps a ruler by his bed and every morning when he wakes up he... OK ENOUGH!!
Dean: It's like we got a contract on us. You think it's 'cause we're so awesome? I think it's 'cause it's we're so awesome.
Sam, to Dean: Give you a couple of severed heads and a pile of dead cows and you're Mr. Sunshine…
Sam: What kind of a house doesn't have salt? Low sodium freaks!!
Sam: (to Dean and the Impala) If you two want to get a room, just tell me.
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Castiel: I learned my lesson while I was away, Dean. I serve Heaven, I don't serve man. And I certainly don't serve you.
Castiel: My superiors have decided I've become too close to my charges and starting to show emotions, the doorway to doubt.
Castiel: (Into cell phone) This isn't funny Dean, the voice says I'm almost out of minutes!
Castiel's Voicemail Machine: I... I don't understand... Why do you want me to say my name? (sound of random phone buttons being pushed)
Castiel: Hey, Ass-butt!
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Bobby: Do I look like a ditchable prom date to you?
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Dean (on getting hit by the car): Did it look cool, like in the movies?
Sam: You peed yourself.
Dean: Of course I peed myself. Man gets hit by a car, you think he has full control over his bladder? Come on!
Dean: Dude, you were making some serious happy noises. Who are you dreaming about? Angelina Jolie?
Sam: No...
Dean: Brad Pitt?
Sam: No. No!
Dean: What was that stuff? God, it was ass. It tasted like ass.
Ruby: It's witchcraft, short bus. (she leaves)
Dean: (mutters) You're the short bus, short bus...
Sam: (gesturing to pumpkin on porch) Hey, check that out.
Dean: Yeah? It's close to Halloween.
Sam: You remember Cinderella? The pumpkin that turns into a coach and the mice that become horses?
Dean: Dude! Could you be more gay? Don't answer that.
Sam: Dean, did you pay any attention in history class?
Dean: Yeah! Shot heard 'round the world, how bills become laws...
Sam: That's not school; that's Schoolhouse Rock!
Sam: You're bossy.
Dean: What?
Sam: You're bossy... and short. (giggles)
Dean: Dude, are you drunk?
Sam: Yeah. So? Stupid.
Sam: Hey, let me see your knife.
Dean: What for?
Sam: So I can gouge my eyes out.
Dean: It was a beautiful natural act, Sam.
Sam: It's a part of you i never wanted to see, Dean.
Dean: You guys don't walk enough. You're gonna get flabby. You know, I'm starting to think Junkless has a better sense of humor than you do.
Castiel: Uriel's the funniest angel in the garrison. Ask anyone.
Dean: (On Castiel trying to find God) Try New Mexico, I hear he's on a tortilla.
Castiel: No, he's not on any flatbread.
Sam: Are you... drunk?
Castiel: No! (stumbles and leans against a pole) Yes...
Castiel: I found a liquor store.
Sam: And?
Castiel: I drank it
