Home-->Mom, Don't Go Here
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Video Killed The Radio Star
“In my mind and in my car
Pt.1 I couldn’t help it. He just looked so worried, so hurting. I knew the rules, hell, I set most of them myself. I never had a problem keeping work at work, and home at home, until today. As his superior, there wasn’t a damn thing I could do for him, compromised as I am, walking the fine line daily as I try to keep to the moral high ground. But as his lover, I knew what he needed. It wasn’t about sex, just comfort. Just one moment where I could physically remind him that he wasn’t alone on his quest, that he wasn’t crazy for wanting to find the truth. It was just a hug. A simple gesture that meant just as much to me as it seemed to mean to him. We were just standing there, my arms around him, his head resting on my shoulder. And that’s what Agent Scully saw when she walked into my office. It would have been funny, I suppose, the way the three of us just stared at one another. Even funnier if the person observing had known that the last time the three of us had a screwed up Mexican standoff like this we were all pointing guns at one another. But I couldn’t see the humour myself, and I doubt that either one of them could either. “Sir, I-Kim said to tell you she was going for lunch…“ I’ve never seen Agent Scully blush, and I don’t think I want to again, although if the heat on my face was any indication, I was certainly giving her a run for her money in the red-face department. Conversely, Fox had turned a sickly white, and for a moment I thought he might faint. That would have been the icing on the cake. He had pulled away from me at Scully’s entrance, but now moved closer, lightly touching my arm. He seemed to draw some kind of strength from this, and suddenly my legs that felt weak and rubbery, like he’d taken something from me. His colour came back in two hectic flaring spots of red, and he stepped quickly away from me. “Lunch sounds great. C’mon, Scully, I’m buying.” And he simply grasped her arm, turned her around and marched her from my office, his movements slicker than a used car salesman’s. Maybe I should have said something. Maybe I was the one who could put this right. But all I seemed to have the strength to do was stagger back to my desk and fall into my chair. Visions of unemployment lines and soup kitchens jumped into my mind, but I forced them away. She was a rational human being; Fox would make her understand. She wouldn’t betray him. I tried to envision the meal and ensuing conversation between the two
of them, and all I got was a sick feeling in my stomach.
Pt. 2 “Mulder…” Mulder busied himself with menu, cutlery, ketchup bottle, salt and pepper, pointedly avoiding looking at his partner. “Mulder…” He flipped the menu open and spoke to Scully from behind laminated cardboard walls. “Whatever you like, Scully, my treat. I hear they make a great tofu-burger here. Or-“ Scully slapped the menu out of his hand. “Mulder.” Her blue eyes froze him like a deer in the headlights. “Mulder…how long?” Her gaze forbade lying or silence. He cleared his throat uncomfortably, then began to speak in his best dry profiler’s voice: “Technically, I’d have to say seven years, since that’s how long it’s been since the X-Files first came under his direct supervision. Of course, take away the time we spent with A.D. Kersh, then add the number of times I remember seeing him at Quantico-” He was babbling and he knew it, but seemed powerless to stop, didn’t know how to cut to the heart of the situation without sounding like some dumb kid with a crush. Scully knew. She put her small hand on his arm and said, “It was the tenth, wasn’t it?” “Uh-I-” Quick mental math proved her correct, and he stared hard at her, wondering how she knew, what he or Walter may have given away, and, most importantly, who else might know. “How?” he demanded. “Mulder, I’m your partner, your friend. I’ve seen you sick, even dying, hurting, ashamed, angry, obsessed, all these things, but-“ “But what?” “Until the tenth…” “What?” Her hand was still warm on his arm. “I’d never seen you happy, Mulder.” He couldn’t find a reply. The waitress came, and Scully quickly scanned the menu, ordering something healthy. Mulder just asked for the same, earning him a patented Scully-raised-eyebrow, but no comment. The waitress took their orders, took their menus then took her leave. The conversation continued. “But, Mulder, are you sure?” Scully asked. “How can anyone be sure of anything, Scully? This is not an arena governed by science, although I must admit it does sound like an X-File.” He offered her his most disarming grin, and she allowed herself to be disarmed, smiling back at him, but only for a moment. “I just don’t want to see you hurt, Mulder, and this seems like an ideal way to sabotage yourself.” “What do you mean?” Mulder found himself suddenly on the defensive. “It’s not-I mean, Walter wouldn’t-“ That hand again, able to calm all the furies of his heart and mind with just a small touch. For all that Walter had come to mean to him in the short time they had been together, for all that Walter’s hands could and did make him feel, he still marveled in the soft touch of his partner, and the trust and love that could come from the most innocuous touch of a good friend. “Mulder, all I’m saying is that this situation is dangerous. And not just in an X-File way. We’ve come a long way since Stonewall, but it’s still not going to be easy.” “You think we don’t know that?” “And you work with him.” “Has it looked like he’s showing favoritism?” He was referring to their last meeting with Skinner, where Mulder had been called on to justify every number on his cost sheet. Scully had to smile. “I guess not.” She sighed. “I’m going to have to get used to this, I guess. Sharing you, I mean. And getting to know the new and improved Happy-Mulder.” A brief memory surfaced in his mind of strong arms, lavish kisses and whispered words of love. He shook away the thought and Scully saw the golden banked glow of emotional embers in his brown eyes when he said. “I hope you have a lifetime to get used to this.” The waitress set two plates in front of them, muttering “Enjoy yer meal.” Scully laughed at the horrified expression on Mulder’s face, and mimicked
the waitress, saying, “Enjoy yer meal” as she picked up her tofu and sprout
burger and took a big bite.
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