Thank you for visiting Evan's Webpage.
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Well, I was born and raised on Earth, more or less the left side of it. I can make my voice travel at 1236 kilometers per hour, which is pretty impressive if you don't think about it too much. I'm about as tall as 170 lego bricks stacked up, and 32% less likely to win a Grammy. I came in second place behind that deaf, dumb, blind kid in a pinball tournament... that was embarrassing. Oh yeah, and I'm morally opposed to doing artwork, but the terrorists keep making me do it because they've got my monkey butler hostage... If anyone gets this message, please send money.
