Discipline: Avoid Threats
by Dr. Benjamin Spock
reviewed and revised by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P.
Threats tend to weaken discipline. It may sound reasonable to say, "If you don't keep out of the street with your bicycle, I'll take it away." But in a sense a threat is a dare--it admits that the child may disobey. It should impress him more to be firmly told he must keep out of the street and that parents mean what they say.
Give fair warning
When using a penalty, like taking away his beloved bike for a few days, it's better to give fair warning. It certainly is silly, and quickly destroys a parent's authority, to make threats that aren't ever carried out or that can't be carried out.
Don't invoke monsters or police
Scary threats, such as of monsters and police, are 100 percent wrong in all cases. One of the threats that is scariest to a young child is the threat to be abandoned: "Come right now or I'll leave you here!"
The prospect of being left behind, all alone, is terrifying to most young children. This threat undermines a child's sense of security in a fundamental way. How can a child trust a parent to protect him in a dangerous world if that parent is capable of walking off? It is much better to pick up the child, put him in the stroller (even kicking and screaming!), and go where you need to go.
