She’s Gonna Make It

By:  Lara

 

 

He followed her to work this morning, he’d never seen that dress before…she seemed to sail right through those dark clouds forming/That he knows he’s headed for…

 

 

Howie sat in his car across the street from the large office building.  He sipped his coffee and made a face.  It must have been sitting on the burner for hours before he had purchased it.  He sipped it anyway, and watched the parking lot of the building across the street.  He glanced at the clock on the dashboard.  Six forty-five.  She started work at seven, and was usually five minutes early.  He sighed and rubbed his temples.  What the hell was he doing?

His cellphone rang and he jumped.  “Hello?”

“Howie, what the hell are you doing?”

“Heya, Aje.  I was just asking myself the same thing.” Howie sipped more coffee.

“Whatever.  Why the HELL are you up and out so early? I called home and didn’t get an answer.”

“I could ask you the same thing,” Howie hedged, leaning across the car to peer into the parking lot.

“I haven’t gone to bed yet and you are avoiding my question, D.”

“I’m out grocery shopping,” Howie said quickly.

“Your maid does your shopping, and even if you did have to do it you wouldn’t do it this early in the damn morning!  Howie, what’s going on?”

“Aje, I…shit…hold on one second.  Just hold on.”  Howie threw his phone onto the passenger seat and gripped the steering wheel.  There she was.

He observed that her reddish-brown hair was long again.  He liked it better longer but she had insisted on cutting it.  Her dark green dress swirled about her knees as she gracefully got out of her car.  He hadn’t seen her in two months, but he knew that the dress was new.  He hadn’t seen it before, and she was not one to buy new outfits every month.  She looked every inch the proper accountant.  He sighed as she waved to someone she knew, and was relieved to see it was another woman.  She and the woman walked into the building together, and Howie carefully studied the confident line of her body as she walked.  It wasn’t fair.  It wasn’t…he heard a loud squawk from the seat beside him and he grabbed his phone.

“Sorry, Aje.  What were you saying?”

“I was cursing you out for being…wait a minute.  This has something to do with Kelley, doesn’t it?”

“What makes you say that?” Howie asked weakly.

“We just got back from being on the road for four months, and you’re up at six fucking thirty in the morning? It has to do with her.”

“Whatever.  Look, Aje, I’m losing you.  I’ll see you later.”  Howie hung up his cell and tossed it down once more.  He sighed a huge sigh as he slowly pulled his car out onto the street and zoomed away.

 

 

“White, Whitaker and Bentley, Kelley Leffler speaking,” Kelley said, sighing as she leaned back in her chair.

“KEL!”  A voice screamed in her ear.

“Lara?  What?  Are you okay?”  Kelley sprang forward in her chair, instantly concerned.

“Yes…I mean, no…I mean, I’m better than okay!”  Lara shrieked.  Kelley rolled her eyes.  There were some times her friend acted more like fifteen then her real age of thirty-two.

“What happened?”

“IT happened, Kel!”  Lara was ecstatic.  “He proposed.  This morning.  Nick PROPOSED.  I’m getting married, dammit!”

“Well it’s about damn time!”  Kelley shrieked with her friend.  You’ve only been together for, what, four years now?”

“I know, but he wasn’t sure…but now he is…oh, God, Kel…you can’t even begin to know how happy I am!”

“Yes, Lara, I can,” Kelley said softly, staring at the framed wedding picture on her desk.

“Nick wants to take everyone out to dinner to celebrate.  You’ll come, right?”

“EVERYONE?”  Kelley asked.

“Yes…everyone.  Even Howie. Please, Kel…this means the world to me.  I really need you there…”

“Okay…where and what time?”  Kelley asked against her better judgment.

 

When Howie returned to his apartment, he was shocked to see AJ sitting in front of the building.  “It’s about damn time!”  AJ snapped.  He peeked into the back of Howie’s car.  “I don’t see any groceries, D.”

“Shut up, AJ.”  Howie walked into the building with AJ on his heels. “What are you doing here?”

“Didn’t Nick call you?”

“I turned off my cell…I kept getting these annoying nosy phone calls,” Howie said, glaring at his friend.

“He finally popped the question,” AJ said, flopping onto Howie’s sofa as soon as Howie unlocked the door.  “Twenty-five years old and finally getting married.”  AJ shivered at the thought of marriage.  “Thank God I haven’t been that stupid yet.”

“You make it sound like you’re ancient,” Howie said with a smile.  He began to boil water for tea. 

“Well, no offense, D, but you married at twenty-four, and look where you are now.  You live in this shithole, and Kelley is over there in the nice big house.”

“First of all, don’t call my place a shithole.”  Howie slammed down a mug on the counter.  “Second of all, my marriage to Kelley wasn’t a mistake.  ISN’T a mistake,” he corrected himself.  They weren’t divorced yet.

“I just wonder…I mean, Lisa and Kevin got married when he was twenty-seven.  It just seems wiser to wait.”

“Nick and Lara have been together for four years, Aje.  I’m sure he knows what he’s doing.”

“Where were you today?”  AJ asked in a kinder tone.  Howie sighed and decided to be honest.

“I went to the office where she works and just watched her walk in.  She looks so good, Aje.”  Howie sat on a chair near the sofa.  “She’s letting her hair grow out…she may even be losing weight, not that she needs it.  She had on this dress…and she looked beautiful.”  Howie sighed and stared down into his tea.  “How is it that she is looking even better since we separated, and everything in my life seems to be getting worse?”

“I hate to remind you, D, but you’re the one that moved out,” AJ said softly.

“Yeah yeah yeah.”  Howie took a sip of his tea.  “I miss her.  I miss her like hell.”

 

 

After seven years of marriage he wanted out…now after seven months of freedom, it’s clear that there’s no doubt/She’s gonna make it and he never will, he’s at the foot of that mountain, and she’s over that hill/He’s sinking at sea, and her sails are filled/She’s gonna make it and he never will…

 

 

Howie sat alone in his car in the parking lot of Lara’s favorite Italian restaurant.  He checked himself one more time.  He wore a black suit with a dark green shirt underneath.  He always looked good in it, and he wanted to look good.  Kelley didn’t need to know that he was having the time of his life.  He had considered inviting a date, but it didn’t seem wise.  No need to push it.  He took a deep breath.  This was just a dinner.  For all he knew, Kelley might have said no.  Maybe she didn’t want to see him, either.  He then realized that wouldn’t happen. This was Lara’s big day and Kelley was Lara’s best friend.

He took another breath and got out of the car.  He went inside and asked for the Carter engagement dinner and was directed down a long hallway.  He ran into Brian and LeighAnne on the way.  “Hey, bro.”  Brian gave him a hug, then looked at him.  “You okay? You actually look pale.”

“Fine, just fine,” Howie answered quickly.  Brian said nothing, but continued to give him weird looks.

When they reached the private dining room, everyone else was already there.  AJ was there with his on-again-off-again girlfriend, Ari, and Kevin and his wife Lisa were in a corner, talking to Nick.  Howie’s heart stopped as he looked at the large round table.  There she was, talking animatedly with Lara.

“Howie…you okay?”  LeighAnne asked sympathetically.

“No,” he whispered.

“Hey!”  Nick said happily, running over to greet his best friend and his wife.

“Hey, Nick.  Congrats, man,” Brian said, giving Nick a big smile.

“Yes, Nick.  It’s about time Lara made an honest man out of you,” LeighAnne added, kissing Nick’s cheek.

“Yo, D, thanks for coming, man.”  Nick gave Howie a big hug.  “I know this wasn’t easy for you, and I appreciate it.”

“Anything for you and Lara, dude,” Howie said, trying to smile.  “I’m gonna get a drink.”  He wandered over to the tiny bar set up in the corner.  “Jack and Coke,” he told the bartender.  He leaned on the bar nonchalantly, and tried to make it look like he wasn’t staring at Kelley.  He couldn’t help it, though.  They had been separated for seven months, and he hadn’t seen her since they had played in Paris and she had come with the other wives and girlfriends, but he couldn’t seem to take his eyes off of her.  Her dark black suit was stylish, and it gave her red hair a special gleam.  He swallowed deeply as Ari approached him.

“Hello, Howard,” she almost snapped.

“Hi, Ari, how are you?”

“I CANNOT believe you could even show your nasty face here!”

“Look, Ari, let’s not start anything, okay?”  Howie begged.  He knew that Lisa, Lara and Ari were not fond of him at the moment, and he had dreaded seeing Ari the most.  She knew quite well how to make a scene.  “This is Lara and Nick’s day.”

“Yes…and you had to ruin it by showing up, didn’t you?”

“Nick invited me,” he snapped back.

“I’m sure Lara didn’t,” Ari retorted, her green eyes narrowing.

“D, glad to see ya. Baby, can I talk to you over here, please?”  AJ’s brown eyes apologized as he dragged Ari away from Howie.  He turned around and leaned on the bar, sighing with relief.

“Hello, Howie.”  The voice made him slowly turn around.  Kelley was in front of him, her green eyes blank.

“Hey, Kel…how are you?”

“Good.  You?”

“Glad to be home.  I love work, but home is better,” he said, trying to remain cool and relaxed.  “How’s the job?”

“Good…I’ve been given six new accounts in the last month.”

“Wow, Kel, that is fantastic,” he said sincerely.  “I’m proud of you.”

“Yeah…well…” she said modestly. 

Howie paused for a moment.  “It’s something, isn’t it?  Lara and Nick?”

“Finally getting married?  Yes…” Kelley agreed.  “They’re moving fast though…she told me they want to get married in September.”

“September?  That’s only five months away!” Howie realized.

“I tried to talk them into something longer…I told them they really needed to be sure,” Kelley said faintly. 

“No need to pull a guilt trip on me,” Howie snapped.

“I wasn’t trying to.  Must you ALWAYS try to turn everything onto yourself?  Everyone thinks you’re the sweet and unselfish one.  If they only knew.”

“Maybe if certain wives of mine paid more attention to me, I wouldn’t HAVE to try to get attention somewhere else!”  Howie said, not really meaning it.

“I paid TONS of attention to you, Howie.  Only problem was, you enjoyed the attention of little slut fans more than the attention of your wife.”

“I did NOTHING with ANY fans…not ever since we’ve been married!”  Howie protested, and it was true.

“No…but you would have…you were getting to the point.  You may have loved me, but you didn’t want to be married to me.  Seven years taught me that, Howie.” This also was true.  “Have a nice night.”  Kelley turned and walked over to Brian and LeighAnne.

“I still love you,” Howie whispered to her back.

 

Howie sat between Kevin and Brian at the table, but his focus was on Kelley, who was seated at the end between Ari and Lara.  She was constantly laughing and smiling, and was even flirting with their waiter.  Why couldn’t HE act like that?  Even if it was only an act, it would make her see that she was having NO effect on him…just like she was acting towards him.  As soon as he could politely get out, Howie was the first one to leave.

“I’m sorry…if I made things weird,” he apologized to Lara as soon as he could get her alone.  “I just…”

“I understand, Howie,” Lara said.  She hadn’t forgiven him for leaving Kelley, but she could see inside that he was not doing well. “It meant a lot to Nick that you came.  Me, too, actually.”

“Really?  You don’t think I’m a monster?”

“Loser, maybe…but not monster,” she said with a smile.  She gave him a hug.  “Call if you need anything…even if it’s just to talk, okay?”

“I may take you up on that sooner than you think,” Howie replied.  He hugged Nick, and hurried out of the dining room.

 

And you know it’s not like she’s forgot about him…she’s just dealing with the pain…

 

 

“Tell me whyyyy…ain’t nothin’ but a heartbreak…” Kelley sang along with the radio as she dug boxes out of the hall closet.  “Tell me about it,” she said to the radio.  She sometimes wanted to turn the radio off whenever she heard a Backstreet Boys song, but for the most part she had learned to deal with it.  It had been seven months since the separation, and she had quickly learned just how much of a grownup she could really be.  Seeing Howie four weeks earlier at the engagement party had about killed her, but she was proud of how she had handled herself.

The phone rang and she pulled herself out of the closet.  “Hello,” she said breathlessly once she finally grabbed the phone.

“What are you doing?” Lara asked, her voice frantic.

“Cleaning out my closet…why?”

“I’m getting married in five months!” Lara wailed.

“And?”  Kelley asked, returning to her closet.

“And what if I can’t do it? What if I suck as a wife?  What if he hates me?”

“Lara, you have been dating him for four years.  He won’t hate you.”  Kelley couldn’t help but giggle.  This was Lara’s third bout with paranoia in two weeks.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” Kelley said, opening a box.  She gasped quietly as she saw her wedding album.

“I know it isn’t working out well now, but how did you know?  What did Howie do to make you realize that you wanted to be with him forever?”

“He made me the center of his world…for a while, anyway,” Kelley said softly.  “Look, Lara…I’m busy here.”

“Right.  God.  I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t have asked that.  I…”

“It’s okay, honey.  I don’t mind. I’ll call you later tonight.”  Kelley hung up the phone.  She held the album for a long time, just staring at it.  As she opened it and began to look at the pictures of a very happy couple, she didn’t see the wedding.  She saw the night Howie had walked out.

 

“Howie, it’s four in the morning.  Where the FUCK have you been?”  Kelley met him at the door.

“I was at a Jive party.  I told you that.” Howie breezed past her.  Kelley smelled alcohol.  She also smelled perfume.

“You mean the party that you told me I didn’t need to go to because you’d go in and be out in fifteen minutes?”

“It was better than I expected.  There were some people there I needed to talk to.  People who are interested in investing in Tabu.”  Howie headed up the stairs to undress.  Kelley was on his heels.  She sighed. She hated the wheedling tone in her voice, but this was getting out of hand.

“Howie, I’m your wife.  Can you understand why I feel a little hurt and shut out here?”

“You had no real reason to be there, Kel,” Howie said over his shoulder as he left a trail of clothing in his wake on the way to the shower.  Kelley gaped at him.

“Maybe I wanted to go out.  Ever think of that?  Maybe I wanted to have fun, too, for once.”  Howie didn’t reply, simply turned on the water.  Kelley sat on the bed.  “How many girls did you fuck, Howie.”

The water turned off and Howie came into the bedroom. He stood naked in front of her.  “Excuse me?”

“You smell like you took a bath in perfume.  How many were there?”

“I didn’t fuck anyone.  I love you,” Howie said, though his eyes told a different story.  Kelley sighed again.  She believed him when he said he didn’t actually do anything, but she knew that the interest was there.

“What have I done?  Is there any good reason why you can’t take me with you to these things?”  Kelley finally asked.

“No, Kel.  I love you, I swear I do.”  Howie sat down beside her.  “It’s just…I feel…I feel so tied down lately.”

“Tied down?  We’re married, for fuck’s sake! Married for seven years!”  Kelley couldn’t believe what he was saying.

“I like being with you, Kel, but I just don’t like being married.”

“Maybe we should stop being married, then.”  Kelley stood up.  Howie stood also.

“Kelley, I…”

“No, Howie.  If you can’t be mature enough to accept the fact that you can’t play around anymore, then you aren’t mature enough to be a husband.”

They stared at each other for a long moment.  “Fine,” Howie said, pulling on a pair of sweatpants and a tshirt.  “I’ll just go then.  You can stay here.”  He quickly through some necessities into a bag and headed out of the bedroom.  Kelley slowly followed him.  “This is better anyway.”

“I guess it is,” she replied, her head held high.

“Good-bye, Kelley.”  Howie was out the door in an instant.  Kelley waited until she heard his car zoom away before collapsing onto the floor in tears.

Five Months Later

 

And the fact that she’s survived so well without him, you know it’s driving him insane…and the crazy thing about it, is she’d take him back/But the fool in him that walked out, is the fool that just won’t ask…

 

 

“Okay, this so fucking blows,” Howie grumbled as he stood and waited to walk up the aisle for the tenth time.

“Language, asshole, language,” Ari remarked, smiling sweetly.  “This IS a house of God, you know.  But then again, you’d only know about HELL, now, wouldn’t you?”

“Enough, Erin,” AJ snapped, glaring at her.  He had barely been able to keep Ari from clawing Howie’s eyes out during the entire rehearsal.

“Ari, stop, please,” Kelley said, rubbing her temples.  Ari clamped her mouth shut and walked up the aisle next to AJ.  Lara and Nick were already at the altar with her niece, Jenna, and Brian, who were maid of honor and best man.  AJ and Ari were part of the wedding party, as well as Kevin and Lisa and Howie and Kelley.  Nick had spoken to him about it months earlier, worrying about how weird it would be.  Kelley and Howie both assured Lara and Nick that they were grownups, and they could handle it.

“Guess we’re next.”  Howie stood next to Kelley, trying to ignore how good she looked.  It wasn’t fair.

 

Howie sat between Kevin and Brian at the rehearsal dinner, trying not to make it too obvious that he was watching Kelley. She was looking better then ever, and was having a fantastic time flirting with one of Nick’s handsome cousins.  She was seated between Ari and the cousin, and she kept giggling at something he said, trying not to laugh too loud.  Howie stabbed his steak angrily.

“You okay, D?”  Kevin asked, concerned.  Lisa leaned around Kevin.

“Kel looks good, doesn’t she?  Just got her hair trimmed like that last week.  I really like it.”

“Lisa, quiet,” Kevin snapped uncharacteristically.  She glared at him, muttered something, then turned to talk to Jenna.  “I’m sure this is hell for you, isn’t it?”

“I’m surviving.  No one’s fault but mine,” Howie said simply.

“She got a raise, you know…partnership possibly,” Brian said softly.

“Really?  Wow.  I’m not surprised though…she is so smart,” Howie commented.  “I can’t even get coffee stains out of the sink.”

“You tried?” Brian asked, surprised.  “I thought you had a maid.”

“I do…but we always kinda took care of the kitchen ourselves, you know?  Kelley kept it clean, and I made sure we had groceries.  I scrubbed the damn sink for over an hour.”  He stared down the table.  “Bet she could do it.”

 

“So…seeing someone?  Gotta boyfriend?”  Nick’s cousin Edward asked Kelley.  She shook her head.

“Neither.  Husband.” She waved her left hand.  She had never removed her rings.  He stared.

“Where the hell is he?  Fine woman like you should NEVER be alone.”  Edward had had one too many glasses of wine.

“Down there at the end.  The one with the ironed-straight hair.”  She discreetly pointed with her finger.  “We’re separated.”

“What?”  He looked amazed.

“He left me…it just wasn’t working out.”  Kelley wasn’t about to empty her heart to a total stranger.

“What a dumbfuck.  Want me to kick his ass?”

Kelley smiled at the tall blond who had inherited all of the Carter good looks as well as some weird wrestler gene.  “No, thank you.  I could probably do that myself.”

“Getting divorced?”  Edward asked nosily.

“No…” she answered softly.  “I hope not.”  She looked down to where Howie was deep in conversation with Brian and Kevin.

 

“Kelley.”  Howie touched her arm as she was about to get into her car. 

“God!”  She whirled around.  “You scared me!”

“I’m sorry.”  He smiled bashfully.  “I just wanted to say that I hope…I mean…it’s weird, huh?”

“Yeah,” she said softly, totally understanding.

“I’m happy for them, but NOT looking forward to the whole walking down the aisle thing,” he said, making conversation.  “Last time I was in a tux…well…I felt like I was wearing a straightjacket.”

Kelley laughed.  “I’m just glad Lara has some compassion and got us decent dresses.”

“Let me guess…blue?”

“Yes…a beautiful shade…and that’s all I’m telling you,” she said playfully.  “You’ll just have to see.”

Howie smiled at her.  It was so nice having a decent conversation.  Millions of things ran through his head.  He wanted desperately to grovel…to apologize…but a stupid part of him still felt that he had every right to go away.  She had said some awful things.  Who cared if they were true?  “Kel…”

“Yes, Howie?”  Kelley’s eyes were serious.

“I’ll…uh…see you tomorrow,” he kissed her cheek then hurried off to his car.

 

“How many times are they gonna do this?” AJ sighed to Howie as guests clinked their silverware against the glasses for the twelfth time in an hour.

“About a million,” Howie told him.  He couldn’t help but smile as Lara blushed slightly.  Nick held up her bouquet and they hid behind it as they kissed.  People groaned but Nick just laughed.

“Gonna get drunk?”  AJ asked Howie when Ari wasn’t listening.  It was sore subject with her, and he had promised, for once, only to get mildly intoxicated.

“Planning on it,” Howie replied.  Sitting next to Kelley was too damn hard.  She looked so beautiful in her blue gown.  It was actually two pieces, a short sleeved top and a long skirt down to the ankles.  Lara had found something that made everyone look attractive, which wasn’t easy when the wedding party ran from average person size to Jenna size, which was a size seven.

“More power to ya, buddy,” AJ said, toasting him with his half-empty glass of wine.  Champagne was being poured for Brian’s toast.  Someone tapped their glass once more and AJ groaned.  “Whatthefuck?”

“Okay, everyone, simmer down,” Brian said with a goofy grin.

“Keep it short, Bri,” Kevin yelled at his cousin, who playfully glared at him.

“It WILL be, Kev, you’re not talking,” AJ said quickly, and everyone laughed.

“Okay.”  Brian took a deep breath and picked up his champagne flute. “I have known this guy…jeez…for like half his life now.  He’s been the little brother I never had…and has been the rock in my life when I needed him most.  He’s the one I get crazy with, and the one I can talk to about anything.”  He swallowed deeply.  “Sometimes he’s not the brightest crayon in the box, but today he is doing one of the smartest things I can think of.”  He smiled down at Lara.  “Lara is amazing…smart…sweet…fun…and a saint for taking on a challenge like Nick.”  Everyone laughed.  “To Lara and Nick…now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter for the other.  Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth for the other.  Now there is no more loneliness.  Now you are two persons but there is only one life before you.  May your days together be good and long upon the earth.  God bless.”  Brian raised his glass and everyone drank.

“Not bad…not bad at all.”  AJ checked his watch.  “If it woulda been Kev, we’d still be waiting to drink.”

Howie shoved him.  “Behave.”

 

Dinner progressed well.  Kelley said nothing more to Howie then “pass the salt”, but he noticed that she was having her champagne glass filled just as much as he was.  For some reason that made him happy.  He heard her sigh as Lara and Nick took to the dance floor.  They were going to dance to a song that Nick had written lyrics to and that Kevin had provided music for.  He remembered their wedding…they had danced to “I Promise You (With Everything That I Am).”

“They look so happy,” he remarked to her, and she jumped.

“Yes, they do.  She has been waiting for someone like Nick all her life,” Kelley told him.  “I’m so glad he asked.”

“I’m glad she said yes,” he replied, and she smiled.  They watched the couple on the dance floor. It was obvious that they saw no one but each other.

“Did we look like that?”  Kelley wondered.

Howie slowly nodded.  “I found the video in a box of my movies and DVDs the other day and watched it.  We looked worse than that.”

“God…is it possible?”  Kelley tried to smile, but she remembered perfectly.  Howie’s dark eyes met hers and she felt her mouth get dry.  “Sorry…I need air.”  She jumped up and hurried out of the room.  Howie groaned.

He finally walked over to where Lara and Nick were dancing.  “Guys…I gotta go.”

“Oh, really?” Nick said disappointedly.  Lara understood.

“Thanks for doing this for us, Howie.  It means a lot,” she said, kissing his cheek.

“What’s going on?” Nick demanded.

“I’ll tell you later,” Lara said to him, rolling her eyes.

“You’ll be too busy later,” Nick murmured, kissing her neck. 

Howie laughed.  “Later, guys.”  He started for the door, then realized that he was not in any condition to drive.  Lara and Nick had reserved rooms for the wedding party, just in case, and Howie decided to take advantage of them.  He wandered into the lounge.  “Can I get a bottle of champagne to go?  I’m in one of the rooms upstairs.”

“Sure thing,” the bartender said, whistling as he prepared the bottle.  A flash of blue caught his eye, and he was shocked to see Kelley sitting at the other end of the bar, waiting for her own drink.  His eyes opened wider as he saw the other bartender hand her a bottle of champagne.  She stared at him, then stared at his bottle.  A slow smile crossed her face.

“Guess I’m not the only one having a hard time tonight,” she said, making her way towards him.  She wove unsteadily and he caught her arm.

“Staying in the hotel?”  Howie asked, and she nodded.  “Wanna empty these babies together?”

Kelley looked at him for a brief moment.  “Sure!  Why the hell not.”  He put out his arm and she took it.

 

Kelley woke up four hours later, a lazy smile on her face.  She had forgotten what sex with Howie could be like.  She stretched and buried her face in his chest.  She then sat up so fast the room spun.  Sex with Howie?  She looked down.  Sure enough, he was naked beside her under the covers, his arm thrown carelessly across his face.  “Oh, sweet GOD!”  She muttered to herself.  “Dumbass…dumbass…” she snuck out of the bed and quickly picked up her clothes.

 

“Turn off the lights!”  Howie snapped as his eyes fluttered open.  He groaned as he realized that the lights were the sun blazing through the curtains.  The clock read eleven-thirty, and he was alone.  He sat up.  Kelley.  She was gone.  Shit.  Any way he could think of to grovel was totally fucked now.

Two Weeks Later

 

 

“Do you think he’ll like it?”  Lara asked, giggling as Nick got the large bundle out of the back of their car.

“He’d better.  This thing weighs a ton.”  He grunted as he lifted it.  “If nothing more, it will annoy the shit out of him when it goes off.”

“You’re so mean.”  Lara carefully tucked the blanket around the cuckoo clock.  “It was just so beautiful…and Howie appreciates handmade things.”

“YOU are just so beautiful.”  Nick leaned around the clock and gave her a passionate kiss.  Two weeks in Germany and Austria had not dampened the passion.  Lara blushed and giggled again.  They walked to the door and Lara pushed the buzzer.  Nothing happened.  They looked at each other quizzically.  AJ had told them he talked to Howie the day before, and he was planning on being in all day.  Lara banged on the door with her fist, then pushed the buzzer again.

Someone finally opened the door.  “What?  Oh, hey,” Howie said, slowly opening the door.  “Guess you guys are back.”

“Yeah…we got in yesterday,” Lara said softly.  Howie’s beautiful hair was dirty and uncombed, and his face was covered in a scraggly scruff.  She hugged him, and he felt as if he had lost weight.

“Dude, you look like shit!”  Nick said bluntly.  Lara glared at him.

“We brought you something from Germany,” she said to Howie.  He seemed to notice the bundle in Nick’s arms for the first time.

“Oh…okay…I think there’s room to set it down in the dining room.”  As they wandered back to Howie’s dining room, Nick and Lara were shocked at the total disorder Howie’s normally immaculate apartment had fallen into.  He shoved some newspapers off the table, and Nick carefully set the clock down.  Lara unwrapped the blanket and Howie almost smiled. “That’s gorgeous, guys.  Thanks so much.”

“You’re welcome,” Nick said, trying not to stare at the mess around him.  This totally wasn’t like Howie.  “Maid’s month off?”  He said, trying to joke.  Lara glared again.

“Um…yeah…gave her some time off,” Howie said absently.  Lara sighed and sat down on a chair.  Howie leaned against the table and Nick leaned back against the wall.

“What’s going on, Howie?  You’re so proud of your home…why in the world does it look like this?”

“If Kelley saw this, she’d have a coronary,” Nick observed.  Lara wanted to kill her husband of two weeks.  She made a mental note to beat the hell out of him later.

“She’ll never see it…probably never wants to see ME again,” Howie mumbled, staring at his bare feet.

“Nick, do you know Howie’s kitchen?”  Lara asked suddenly.

“Um…yeah,” Nick said, confused.

“Go make us some tea.  And while it’s brewing, clean up in there, okay?” Lara needed his big mouth out of the room.

“But I…”

“NICKOLAS,” she said in a stern voice that Nick knew quite well as her almost-pissed-to-the-breaking-point voice.

“Okay okay…” Nick wandered off to the kitchen.  Lara sighed, then looked up at Howie.

“What happened?”

Howie sat in a chair next to her.  “We got drunk at the wedding.”

“I noticed that,” Lara said with a smile.

“We got drunk together…upstairs…”

Lara’s mouth fell open.  “No…”

“Yes.”  Howie tried to run a hand through his long hair but couldn’t.  “God…I didn’t realize how I’ve let myself go lately.  Anyway, I woke up and she was gone and I haven’t heard from her since. I’ve been tempted to call Lisa or Ari, but I know they won’t want to talk to me about it…and I’m afraid to call her.”

“Why?”  Lara asked him, her blue eyes directed right into his own eyes.

“Well…um…”

“What is it with you men and your macho fucking pride?”  She snapped. “God…Nick gets this way all the time.  Get over it and call her.”

“I want her back, Lara.”  Howie finally admitted it out loud. “I’m so damn miserable without her.  I don’t want anyone else.  I want HER.  I want us to be married again.  I want us together again.  I want to fall asleep next to her and wake up next to her.  Only her.  I fucked up.”

“Don’t tell me this shit…tell HER,” Lara said sternly.

“Can I come in now?”  Nick called from the kitchen, sounding like a little boy.

“Yes!”  Lara called back.  Nick came in, carefully balancing three mugs of tea. “Shit, this is hot.”

“I don’t know how to do it,” Howie said, gratefully accepting the tea.

“Do what?”  Nick asked, flopping down on the floor between them.

“Get Kelley to come back,” Howie told him.

“Grovel.  Grovel good and long.  Tell her how much she means to you, how much you know you acted like a dumbass, and how nothing is right without her.”

Howie stared at him.  “You sound like the expert.”

“Trust me…I’ve had to do it before,” he said, winking at Lara.

“I wouldn’t say I was a dumbass,” Howie pouted into his tea.  Lara and Nick looked at each other.

“Howie, trust me,” Lara began.

“EVERYONE thinks you were a dumbass,” Nick finished.

 

The next day was a Saturday.  Howie sat in front of the house for over an hour before getting the nerve up to get out of his car.  He stood on her front porch for another fifteen minutes before he rang the doorbell.  Kelley’s green eyes were shocked when she saw who was at the door.  “Howie…hello.”

“Hi.”  Howie’s feet suddenly became very interesting to him.  “Could…uh…could I come in?”

“Sure.”  Kelley moved aside and he walked in.  He couldn’t help but notice how neat everything was.  Lara had helped him clean up his own apartment, but it wasn’t the same.  “Coffee?  No…wait…tea?”

“Thank you,” he said politely.  He sat at the kitchen table and watched her prepare tea.  “You know, Lara and Nick are back.”

“Yes…they brought me some chocolate and a beautiful painting.  I think I’m gonna hang it in the family room,” Kelley said, never looking up from her task.

“Over the sofa?” Howie asked.

“I was thinking about it,” she replied.

“I don’t think you can do that,” he told her, and she whirled around.

“And why not?”

“They brought me back a gorgeous cuckoo clock, and I think it would look good over the sofa.”

Kelley almost dropped the mug she was holding.  “What?”

Howie walked around the island and took the mug from her.  “Kelley, I love you.  So much.  I have been such a…” the word tasted wrong but he used it anyway, “…dumbass.  I was being a child.  I thought I could have the best of everything…I thought I could go out and party, and then have a wonderful wife at home.  That wasn’t right.”

“You ARE a dumbass,” Kelley said, her green eyes full of tears.  “You threw away seven years in about seven seconds.”

“I know…I know.”  He cupped her face in his hands.  “I woke up in that hotel room the day after the wedding and I felt so lost.  Having you in my arms was the best feeling I have experienced for ages…and then you were gone.  I’ve been a living nightmare the past two weeks…ask Lara and Nick.  They saw the apartment, they saw me.  I let everything go to hell, because nothing mattered.  I didn’t have you.”  His thumbs stroked her face.  “Let me make it up to you.  Let me try again, please, Kelley.  I’m begging…God…I’m groveling…” Kelley tried not to smile.  “I’ll do anything I can to get you to forgive me.”

“You’re not moving back in here right away,” she told him.  “I’m not that ready to forgive you yet.”

“Of course.”  Howie nodded vigorously. 

“You hurt me…badly…” she continued.  “But I love you, Howie…and I miss you, too.”

“I love you so much, Kel,” Howie said, sighing with relief that she hadn’t kicked him out.  “How do we wanna start this?”

“You come back tonight at seven.  You take me to a movie, and you take me out for an EXPENSIVE dinner,” she told him.  “We’ll see how things go.”

“A date?”  She nodded.  “A date with my wife.  I like it.”  Howie smiled his beautiful smile. “Could I kiss my wife before our date?”

“I think so,” Kelley said softly as his lips met hers.

 

The End

 

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