Somewhere In The Night

By:  Lara

 

 

“Oh, look…there’s the Spot Deli…again…for the third time…” Chris pointed out.  He glared at his bodyguard angrily.  “Dennis…”

“I know…I KNOW…” the large black man sighed, rolling his eyes. 

“You’re from New York, can’t you DO something about this?”  Chris moaned.  “We are totally lost.  We’ve past the same homeless person three times on the SAME street corner.”

Dennis looked at Chris as if he had lost his mind.  “Chris, man, I’m from the Bronx.  We ain’t in the Bronx.  We ain’t anywhere NEAR the Bronx, okay?  You know every square inch of Orlando just ‘cause you lived there a while?”

“Well…no…” Chris admitted.

“Okay, then.” 

Chris tried the intercom into the front seat.  It wasn’t working.  “Can’t you go up there and talk to the driver?  I mean, if he speaks English at ALL, that is.  I don’t believe this.  Someone at Jive is gonna be kissing some ass for this,” he grumbled.  “Why do I always get stuck in these situations?”

“Chris, this is NOT the kind of place where you just get out of a limo and speak to the driver.  By the time I hit the front seat, you’d be splattered all over the pavement.”

“I don’t think it looks that bad…I…” Chris glanced out the window, then did a double take.  “Dennis, stop the limo.  STOP the limo!”

“What?”  Dennis asked, alarmed.  Chris began to slap on the window separating the front and back sections of the limo.  The driver finally pulled the car over about a block later.

“Tell him to back up.  Back up!”  Chris almost screamed.  Dennis stared at him, then cautiously got out of the car.  He spoke to the driver, who finally lowered the window between the sections.

“Empire State Building?  Statue of Liberty?”  The driver asked with a toothy grin.  Chris groaned.

“No.  Backwards.  Go back.  REVERSE!”  Chris yelled.  Dennis reached through the driver’s side window and slammed the car into reverse.  The driver yelled and quickly steered the car.  “Okay, STOP!”

The driver understood stop and slammed on the brakes, almost knocking Dennis over.  “You SO owe me, man,” the large man snapped at Chris.

“I’ll owe you bigger.  You need to go over there and talk to that woman.”  Chris discreetly pointed to a woman across the street.  She was pacing on a street corner, shivering in the cold.  She wore only a short skirt, thigh-high boots and a denim jacket. 

Dennis’ mouth fell open.  “Chris, do you know what that woman is doing on that corner?  She’s WORKING it, Chris.  Besides, Julie would kick your ass, then she’d kick MY ass…”

“I realize that, Dennis,” Chris said patiently in a tone that said “duh.”  “I think I might…I need you to bring her over here.”

“No.  No way,” Dennis said.

“Okay, if you won’t, I will.”  Chris began to open the back door.  Dennis yelled and slammed it shut.

“No way are you hauling your scruffy ass out of that car,” Dennis told him sternly.  “The things I do for you guys…” Dennis grumbled as he starting walking towards the other side of the street.

The woman’s entire physical appearance seemed to perk up as Dennis approached.  Chris watched her closely.  She was way too thin and didn’t look very healthy.  It didn’t surprise him that she wasn’t getting any business.  A few better-looking women strolled about a block or so higher up the street, and many cars slowed down or beeped.  Chris frowned as Dennis returned alone, the woman staring after him.

“Well?”

“She said she’s not gonna come all the way over here just to talk.  Said she’s hungry and she at least wants dinner.”

“God, whatever!”  Chris said, exasperated.  “Whatever it takes, dinner, money, whatever!  Tell her I’ll pay her for the entire night.”

“The entire…are you crazy?”

“Dennis, the longer you bitch the longer we’re stuck here.  Maybe she can even get us back to the freaking hotel,” Chris reminded him.  Dennis heaved a deep sigh and started back across the street.

A few moments later the woman was walking with him.  As she grew closer, Chris knew that he really DID recognize her…and he wondered if she would recognize HIM.  Dennis held the door for her, then went up to sit with the driver.

“Nice and warm in here.”  The woman gave Chris a sweet smile.  “What’s your name, sweetie?”

“You don’t know it?”  Chris was amazed.  He knew he hadn’t changed THAT much.

“Oh…you wanna play?  And the big guy said you just wanted to talk.”  Her accent was not that of a native New Yorker.  “Okay, I’ll give you a name.  How about John?”  The woman laughed at her own joke.

“Lara…it’s me.  Chris.”  Chris watched her face carefully.  The woman frowned.

“Lara?  That isn’t my name, um, Chris, but it can be if you want it to.”  She inched towards him, then pulled back as she sneezed.  “Sorry.  Bad cold.”

“Sounds like worse than that,” Chris observed.  He could hear the wheezing in her chest as she tried to breathe.

“Oh, well, nothing that will get in OUR way,” the woman said, grinning at him.  “Where we going?”

“Back to my hotel.  We can get you a hot meal there…maybe some medicine.”

“Sure, whatever.”  The woman leaned her head back.

“If you’re name isn’t Lara, what is it?”

“Volandra,” the woman said, smiling at him.  “Volandra.”

“Well…um…Volandra…I’m Chris.  And I could have sworn I knew you…but I could have been mistaken.”  Chris sighed and closed his eyes.  He wasn’t mistaken.  This was Lara…his friend from childhood…from Pennsylvania.  But why was she hooking in New York City and why did she think her name was Volandra?

 

“Wow.  Some place.”  Volandra’s blue eyes took in Chris’ suite at the hotel.  “You must be loaded.”

“I do pretty well,” Chris said modestly.  “What are you hungry for?”

“Whatever.  I could eat a cow, pretty much,” Volandra replied.  Her sentence was punctuated by a racking cough.  Chris called room service and ordered up some soup, then he called for a doctor.  She sat down on the sofa with a comfortable sigh.

“You could take those off,” Chris suggested, motioning to her high-heeled boots.

“Whatever you say, Chris,” the woman said with a sly smile.  She made a great deal of slowly sliding the zipper down and peeling the boots from her legs.  Chris tried his best not to look up her very short skirt, but he WAS a man after all and couldn’t help himself.  She noticed him trying to avert his eyes and giggled.  “Aw, poor Chris.  Are you shy, honey?  You invited me up here, remember?”

“To talk,” Chris gently reminded her.  “And to get you some good hot food…and to have a doctor check you out.”

“A doctor?”  Volandra’s eyes narrowed.  “I don’t do drugs.  I don’t know what kinda setup you got going here, Mister Chris, but I don’t do that shit!”  She struggled to her feet, her cheeks red and feverish.

“No!  NO drugs, I swear.  I really did call a doctor to come up and check you out.  I’ll pay for it…no drugs.  Sit down,” Chris begged.  The woman seemed to sway on her feet before sitting down.

“Why are you being so nice to me?”  Volandra asked, closing her eyes and leaning her head back against the sofa.

“Because I really do think I know you,” Chris began.  He was interrupted by the doorbell.  He went to the door.  A room service attendant was there with the food, followed closely by the doctor.  Volandra eyed the doctor nervously.

“You paying for him, too?”  She asked, her eyes flicking over to the doctor.  The doctor stared at Chris.

“No, Volandra, he’s really a doctor.  I brought him up here to check your chest.  It sounds like your cough is really bad,” Chris said. 

“I don’t like doctors…” Volandra said quietly.  “I don’t know why…just don’t like them.”

“I’ll sit next to you, okay?  Right here.”  Chris moved to sit next to her.  He held her hand, which surprised her.  “It will just take a minute.”

“Could you…ah…take off your jacket?”  The doctor asked Volandra politely.  She hesitated, then slowly took off the denim jacket.  The doctor and Chris glanced at each other.  She wore only a black satin bra.  Chris studied a lampshade across the room as the doctor began to listen to Volandra’s chest through his stethoscope.  “Okay,” he said a few moments later.  “Thank you, Miss.”

“I’ll get you a tshirt,” Chris volunteered.  He hurried to the bedroom and came back with a tshirt and sweatpants.  “Why don’t you go change?”

“It’s just a waste of time,” Volandra pointed out, but she took the clothes and went into the bathroom.

Chris sighed.  She really didn’t believe that he only wanted to talk to her.  The doctor looked at him.

“You know this woman?”

“Yes.”

“She’s sick.  The flu.  Very bad.  She needs a lot of bedrest…and she needs to be out of the cold and off the streets.”  The doctor looked at him carefully.

“I’m not…I mean, I didn’t…I mean, I’m from out of town,” Chris babbled.  “I didn’t know…I didn’t know she was even ON the streets until about an hour ago.  I’ll make sure she stays inside.”

“Here’s a prescription,” the doctor said, scribbling something on a pad.  “I’ll take it down and have it filled, and get it sent up to her.  Make sure she takes it.”

“I will, Doctor.”  Chris took a deep breath.  “I’m sure you know who I am and…”

“Everyone knows who you and your friends are,” the doctor said with a small smile.  “Getting in and out of Alcatraz was probably easier than getting in and out of this hotel is right now.”

“Sorry,” Chris smiled apologetically.  “Anyway…I’d appreciate it if you didn’t say anything…to ANYONE…about my friend in there.  Not even to any of my bandmates, if you see them.”

“Of course,” the doctor said.  “Doctor-patient privilege.  I’ll have the medicine sent up.”

“Thank you.”  Chris walked the doctor to the door.  Volandra came out of the bedroom as he went back to the living room area.  She swam in his sweatpants and tshirt.  She was still shivering, so Chris got her a sweatshirt.

“You’re nice,” she said.  “Thanks.”

“Here’s some soup.”  Chris led her to a table.  She stared at the bowl of soup greedily.  “It smells good.”

“Anything edible smells good right about now.  I haven’t eaten since yesterday.” She blew on the soup, causing another set of coughs to rack through her body.

“Tell me, how long have you been in New York?”  Chris began again.

She shrugged.  “I’m not sure.  Two years?  Maybe more.”

“You’re not sure?”

“I don’t remember much about my past.  I just know I grew up in Albany and then came here.”

Chris knew that she hadn’t grown up in Albany, but said nothing.  “And this…um…job…something you’ve always wanted to do?”

Volandra gave him a strange look.  “Hell, no.  What woman in her right mind wants to be a whore?”  She took a small slurp of soup.  “Had nowhere else to go…nothing I could do to make money…so I became a whore.”  She took another spoonful of soup.  “Damn, this is good.”

“I’m glad,” Chris said softly.  He watched silently as she eagerly finished the soup, getting up only to answer the door and sign for the medicine.  “Want anything else?”

“No…this will probably kill my stomach as it is…not used to food this good.  Business has been slow lately.”  She slowly stood, an odd gleam in her eye.  “Well…now that I ate…”

“Take this,” Chris ordered, shoving the pills towards her.  Her eyes narrowed.

“You don’t own me.  I…”

“Take the pills, dammit!  They’ll make you feel better.  God, Volandra, they’re not drugs…not bad ones…it’s medicine!” Chris snapped.  Volandra jumped and looked at him with wide-eyed fear.  She quickly opened the bottle and poured out two capsules.  He handed her a glass of water and she gulped it down.  It was obvious that she was used to being threatened to get things done.  “Why don’t you come lay down for a while?”  Chris suggested.  She smiled slyly. 

“About time you suggested that.”  She began to walk towards the bedroom.  “Coming?”

Chris sighed.  If he could just get her to the bed, maybe she would sleep.  She desperately needed it.  He could tell just by standing near her that she was burning with fever.  How she had even kept standing out on the corner was beyond him.  He followed her to the bedroom.  “So…do you…um…work on your own, or do you have a…um…”

“Pimp?”  Volandra said over her shoulder.  “Yeah…I have one…Allan.”

“Does he take care of you?”  Chris asked.  Volandra stood in front of him and tugged at his sweatshirt.  He was thankful for the tshirt underneath.

“You could call it that.  Gives me a room to sleep in…gives me money for clothes.”

“How about food?  Medicine when you’re sick?”

“Gives me money for lunch…a hotdog or pretzel…and Allan’s girls don’t get sick.  Besides, he really cares about me.  He loves me.”  Chris raised an eyebrow but said nothing.  Taking off his sweatshirt seemed to wear her out.  She sat on the edge of the bed, wheezing for breath.  “Just give me one minute.  I’ll be okay.”

“Why don’t you lay back and relax?”  Chris tried to say the words in a seductive tone.  “Just relax and let me finish doing my own undressing, then we’ll work on you.”

“Sounds good, baby.”  Volandra fell back against the pillows, sighing.  She yawned.  “I’ll just watch.”

Her eyes seemed to stay open with effort.  Soon they were fluttering open and shut.  Chris moved to sit next to her.  He lightly brushed her long dark hair away from her face. “Lara…”

“Not Lara…Volandra…” she said drowsily.  He sighed.

“Volandra…what are you doing here?  I know this isn’t you…this isn’t right. You’re not this person.” 

“Only…person…I know how…to be…” she whispered before passing out.  Chris looked at her for a long moment.  He bent down and kissed her forehead, then went into the living room to make a phone call.

 

“God, Chris…are you okay?”  Julie burst through the door of the hotel room at six the next morning.  “I caught the first flight I could…let me tell you it is NOT fun flying at one in the morning.”  She smothered Chris’ face with kisses.  “Are you okay?  I was so worried!”

“I’m fine, honey.  I just needed to talk to you.”  Chris led Julie to the sofa and sat her down.  “Do you want anything?  Coffee?”

“Christopher, I just flew from Toronto in the middle of the night…and you’re asking if I want coffee?”  Julie glared at Chris.  He sighed.  She was only going to get angrier before the morning was through. 

“I just needed to talk to you…and I need coffee.  I’ll make some.”  He went to the kitchenette and started the coffeemaker. 

“Chris, I am coming to Florida in three days…we’ll meet up in Orlando.  What the hell is going on?”  Julie’s voice rose to a shriek.

“Honey, quiet down.  You’ll waken…I mean…it’s still early,” Chris stammered.  Julie looked at him for a long moment, then looked around the suite.  She took note of the handbag on the table, the high-heeled boots on the floor, and the jacket draped over a chair.  She looked back at Chris. 

“Chris?”  Her voice was a question, an insulted question.

“Look, Julie, before you get mad, I…”

Julie ignored him and walked to the bedroom.  She peeked in and saw a strange woman sleeping in the bed, wearing Chris’ tshirt.  That was all she could see from under the covers.  She saw a pair of his sweatpants and one of his sweatshirts on the floor by the bed.  The woman was beautiful, but her cheeks were flushed and her face was gaunt.  She carefully closed the door and turned back to Chris.  He could hardly meet her gaze.  “Chris…”

“Listen, Julie, it’s NOT what you think,” Chris began.

“Chris, is she a…prostitute?” Julie spat the word out of her mouth as if it tasted bad. 

“Yes…well, no…well, yes, but I don’t think she MEANS to be.”

Julie stared at him as if he had lost his mind.  “I don’t believe this.  You didn’t even have the decency to cheat on me with a normal woman?  You had to go and fuck a whore?”

“She is NOT a whore and she IS a decent normal woman!”  Chris snapped before he thought.  Julie’s eyes filled with tears.

“Here…you can have this back.”  She tugged at the solitaire on her left hand.  Chris rushed to her, grabbing her hands.

“No…Jules, wait.  Just listen.  This won’t make sense but I swear on everything I hold dear that it’s true.  I love you and I haven’t cheated on you. Please believe me!”  Chris insisted.  Julie looked deep into his dark eyes.  Chris had treated her in ways that she had never dreamed a man could treat a woman.  They had been together for two years, engaged for eight months…she owed him at least five minutes.  She sighed and sat back down on the sofa.  Chris joined her.

“Okay,” Chris said, taking a deep breath.  “We got lost in some New York ghetto tonight, and as we were trying to talk to the driver, I saw her on the corner.  Her name is Lara, though she insists it’s Volandra.  I know her, Julie. I’ve known her for years.  We played Doctor together, for heaven’s sake.”  Julie raised an eyebrow.  “Okay, maybe you didn’t need to know that,” Chris said quickly.  “Anyway, I grew up with her, back in Pennsylvania.  She was a year behind me in school, and we were really good friends.  Her family lived three houses down from mine, and though they didn’t have much more than we did, they always shared everything with us.  We used to sleep over at each other’s houses, we played together all day long in the summer…we were even gonna go to school together in Pittsburgh…but instead of finishing college, Lara took off to New York to become a writer.  That was over six years ago.  After about a year and a half in New York, she suddenly stopped contacting her family.  Stopped calling, stopped writing.  Letters her family sent, that I sent, they came back unopened with Addressee Unknown on them.”  Julie was shocked to see tears in Chris’ brown eyes.  “She was my best friend, Jules, until I met you…and I thought she had died or something.  Then today I see her working a fucking street corner in a ghetto.  She’s sick…really sick…practically has pneumonia.  She thinks she’s from Albany, and she doesn’t have any clue who I am. But I know it’s her.  I know it!”

“I believe you,” Julie said quietly.  “It just shocked me to see her here, that’s all.”  She opened her arms and Chris fell into them.  They hugged each other in silence.  “Now what?”

“That’s what I wanted you here for.”  Chris pulled back and looked at his fiancée.  “I want to bring her back to Florida with us.”

 

Julie stared at Chris.  “You want to WHAT?”

“Jules, she doesn’t have anyone.  No one.  No one but a pimp named Allan.  I want to take her with us, clean her up, get her well…see if I can jog her memory.”

Julie began to pace.  “You realize this is ridiculous.  Crazy.  A total stranger?”

“She’s NOT a stranger, Julie!”  Chris almost yelled.  “She’s my fucking best friend from childhood!”

“But she doesn’t KNOW that, Chris!  She has no clue!”  Julie put a hand on his arm.  “And how do you know she’ll go along.  You can’t kidnap her.  She’s a human being.”

“I know.  I know.”  Chris ran his fingers through his short hair.  “I just can’t lose her.  Not now.”

“Have you called her family?”

“No.  They don’t need to know about where she is if she doesn’t want them to know,” Chris said softly.  “She was always really close to them…it must be something serious if she hasn’t contacted them in so long.”

“I see,” Julie said.

“I’m gonna order up some breakfast.  Want anything?”  Chris went to the phone.

“No.  I’ll just drink some of this coffee.”  Julie went over to the pot, sniffed, then wrinkled her nose.  “Chris, you can’t make coffee for shit,” Julie sighed, emptying the pot and scooping out new coffee grounds.

 

The door to the bedroom opened about ninety minutes later.  Julie and Chris had just finished their breakfasts, and were quietly talking.  They both looked at Volandra/Lara.  “Hey there,” she said curiously, staring at Julie. “I charge extra for another chick.”

Julie blushed a furious crimson.  “She’s not here for that,” Chris said quickly.  “You and I didn’t do anything last night anyway, remember?”

“Must’ve been those fucking drugs you gave me,” Volandra snapped, glaring at him.  Julie looked at him.

“Medicine.  Prescribed by the doctor,” he said quickly.  “This is my fiancée, Julie.  Julie, this is Lara…I mean, Volandra.”

“Oh, I see.  Get off on that, do we?”  Volandra smirked.  She eyed up the covered plates.

“I took the liberty…” Chris said.  He uncovered eggs, toast, pancakes and sweet rolls.  Volandra eagerly took a sweet roll.  Chris smiled to himself.  Lara hated eggs and loved sweet things…especially for breakfast. 

“Thanks.

“Chris told me you weren’t well…feeling better?”  Julie asked politely.

Volandra shrugged.  “A bit.  That damned arctic air out there doesn’t help.  I hate this time of year in this shithole city.”

Chris shivered at the bitterness in her voice.  Lara never swore this much, but he figured a life like the one she was living was enough to change anyone.  “How would you like to remedy that situation?” He begged Julie with his eyes.  She sighed and slowly nodded.

“What do you mean?”  Volandra asked, wandering over to the kitchenette and pouring herself some coffee.

“We live in Florida. Actually…I do.  Julie is a cellist with the Toronto Philharmonic up in Canada.”

“Cellist?  Impressive,” Volandra said, sipping at her coffee.  Julie looked at her lap modestly.  “I always thought that musicians like that were really stuffy.  You don’t look like the stick up your ass is TOO big.”

“ANYWAY,” Chris said quickly, grabbing Julie’s hand to keep her in her chair. “I was wondering if you’d like to come back to Florida with me for a while.  Julie will be there next week and she could show you around.  Couldn’t you, Jules?”

“I don’t know, Christopher.  It’s kinda hard to walk around with a stick up my ass,” Julie snapped quietly.  Volandra smirked, amused.  “But yes, I could help her out.”

“Why?  Why do you want me down there?”  Volandra asked, her eyes narrowing.

“Volandra, you don’t believe me, but I swear to God that I know you.  You look and act…almost…just like my friend from Pennsylvania, Lara.  We grew up together, and she left PA to come to New York and write.  We haven’t seen her for a few years now…and then last night I found you.”

“Me?  A writer?”  Volandra burst into hysterical laughter.  “I mean, I’ve always been creative, but a writer?  No way.  Not me.  Besides, I told you. I’m from Albany.”

“I don’t believe that,” Chris replied.  “Not a bit.  Come with me to Florida. Please, Volandra.”

“You okay with this?”  Volandra turned to Julie.  The other woman looked at her for a long moment.

“No, to be honest, I’m not.  Would you be okay with your fiancé wanting to bring home some strange woman off the street just because he THINKS he recognizes her?”  Julie replied.  “But he’s really serious about this, and I believe that Chris believes he knows you.  So I’ll stand behind him and help him in any way possible.”

Volandra looked at her with a newfound respect.  “I see.  But how do I know you’re on the up and up.  For all I know you could be traders for one of those sheep ranches.  Maybe Allan got pissed at me.”  Chris and Julie gave her confused looks.  “Okay…maybe not.”

“Sheep ranches?” Julie asked.

“Sure.  You piss your pimp off, he sends you out to the country to the sheep ranch.  You basically stay flat on your back and do what they tell you.”

“Holy shit,” Chris said under his breath.

“I’ve stayed on Allan’s good side long enough…I haven’t had to worry about the ranch too much.”  Volandra’s blue eyes grew sad.  “Allan…I can’t leave him…”

“He put you out on the street!”  Chris exclaimed.

“But he loves me.  He treats me better than the other girls…I’m helping support him,” Volandra insisted.

“Fuck that!”  Chris growled.  Julie put a hand on his knee.

“Volandra, when was the last time you had a vacation?”  Julie asked softly.  Volandra thought a moment.

“I can’t remember,” she said softly.

“Just come for a vacation.  I’m going down for two weeks next week.  I can go down with you when Chris leaves tomorrow, go back quick to Canada to get some things settled, then come back down.  Would that be okay?  If you’re not happy, I’ll bring you back when I return in two weeks.”

“Really?  You’d do that for me?”  Volandra whispered.  Julie smiled.

“Yes.”

“I don’t have any money,” Volandra said quickly.  “I mean, I give everything to Allan.  I don’t have…” she looked down at herself.  “I don’t have the right clothes…I don’t…”

“We’ll take care of that,” Chris said soothingly.

“You’re what, a twelve?”  Julie asked her.  Volandra looked insulted.

“A ten.”

“Okay, a ten.  You jump in the shower, and I’ll run and grab you at least something to wear out of here, then we can go shopping, okay?  Chris has a nice fat credit card we can play with.”  Julie grinned at Volandra who slowly grinned back.

“Okay.”  Volandra slowly made her way to the bathroom, obviously deep in thought.

“Nice fat credit card?” Chris asked once Volandra shut the bathroom door.

“You are gonna owe me BIG time, baby,” Julie said.  She kissed Chris’ forehead, then went out to buy Volandra some clothes.

 

“Do you want to rest?”  Julie asked Volandra as they walked out of the fifth store.  “I know you’re still sick…and it’s lunchtime.  There’s a cute little diner down the street, if I remember correctly.”

“Listen to you, telling ME where to eat in my city,” Volandra said with a grin.  “But, yeah, I could take a load off for a while.”

“Good.  I’m starving.”  Julie switched the bags around to make carrying them easier.  “Is there anything else you think you’ll need?”

“God, I hope not.  I’m dying already.  I don’t know WHERE I’m gonna pack all this stuff,” Volandra said as they entered the diner.  The manager showed them a small area behind the register where they could place their bags.  They gratefully crawled into a booth.

“Oh, that’s RIGHT.  Luggage.  We’ll go there next.  We can get some with wheels, and then we can shove all your stuff in it to go back to the hotel!”  Julie said with a laugh.

“Luggage too?  Damn.”  Volandra stared down at the menu. “What are you getting?”

“I don’t know.  I’m so hungry I could eat one of everything.  Um…maybe you should get something light but healthy…since you’re under the weather and all.”

“I’ll eat what I like!”  Volandra snapped.  But when the waiter came, she ordered a bowl of vegetable soup and half of a club sandwich.  She sipped at her iced tea.  “Ya know, I kinda feel like Julia Roberts in “Pretty Woman.”  Getting all this stuff and I’m just some whore from the street.”  She watched Julie carefully.  “What’s going on?”

“I’m sure you’re not just some whore,” Julie said kindly. “You heard what Chris said.  He really believes that you’re his childhood friend from Pennsylvania.”

“I’m not her,” Volandra insisted.  “I’ll be honest with you, cuz you’ve been so friendly to me today.  I could very easily just lie to him and milk this for all it’s worth.  Get the clothes, get the luggage, maybe even get some cash.  Then I could bail.  Bail to the shore…” Volandra said dreamily. “I always wanted to live at the beach…in the south…Georgia…South Carolina.  Anyway, I could do that like this.” She snapped her fingers.  “But part of me just can’t do it.  He seems like a nice guy, and you’re a nice girl.”  Volandra looked at Julie carefully.  “You DO know that nothing happened between me and Chris, right?”

“Yes,” Julie answered promptly, though she looked relieved to hear Volandra say it.

“Tell me about him,” Volandra said suddenly as their food was served.  Julie thought for a moment.

“He is so crazy.  Wild and crazy.  Just plain goofy.  He always has something smart to say, as in smartass,” Julie said with a grin.  “He loves to have fun, but nothing outrageous. Just…silly.  But when you need him, he’s there.  He will give his own life for you if he cares about you…or even invite you to his home if he THINKS you’re someone he cares about.”

“Obviously,” Volandra said with a snort.  “He sounds crazy right away.”

“But sweet…and talented,” Julie said, taking a bite of her sandwich.

“Really?  What does he do?”

“You really don’t recognize him?”  Julie was amazed.

“No,” Volandra said.  Her blue eyes got wide.  “Is he like a criminal or something?”

“Hell, no!” Julie answered, giggling.  “Here.”  She pulled a picture from her wallet.  “Okay.  That’s Chris, of course, and that is Joey, JC, Justin and Lance.”

“They look familiar,” Volandra remarked. “Wow…that Justin is a hottie.  So’s that one.  What’s his name?”

“Lance,” Julie told her.  “Ever hear of NSYNC?”

“Of course I have.  Every time you turn on the…” Volandra’s eyes got big again.  “He’s…this is…he’s in that group?”  Julie nodded.  “Holy fuck.”  Volandra grabbed the picture.  “Holy FUCK!”

“Check please!”  Julie called to the waiter.

 

“Wow!  You’re him!  I mean, you’re one of them!  I mean, damn!”  Volandra said excitedly as she entered the hotel suite.  Chris looked up from his laptop.

“Huh?”

“I’ve never done a celebrity before!  I mean, not that I did you, but you know what I mean.  Wow!”  Volandra bounced up and down on the sofa.  “Amazing! I never knew!”

“Guess you told her,” Chris said to Julie.  She kissed him.

“Yes, I did.”

“What’s the damage to my credit card?”

“Nothing you can’t take care of,” Julie promised.

Chris frowned and went back to his computer.  Volandra gasped.  “Oh, holy fucking shit!  I have to get back.  Allan is gonna shit bricks!”  She grabbed her coat and bag.  “Um, Chris?  I…uh…”

“I understand.”  He reached for his wallet and pulled out hundred after hundred.  Volandra’s eyes widened.  “I hit the ATM,” he explained.  “Jules gave you the airport info, right?”

“Right,” she said nervously.  “Look, it was really nice meeting you and all.  This was amazing. Thanks for the stuff. I can take it with me, right?”

“Of course,” he said softly.

“Thank you, Julie,” Volandra said, holding out her hand.  Julie took it.

“No problem.  See you tomorrow.”

“Right.  See ya.”  Volandra grabbed her luggage and dragged it out the door.

“Will she show up tomorrow?” Chris asked softly.  Julie thought for a moment, remembering their conversation at the table.

“I don’t know, baby. But I hope so.”

 

“It’s nine-fifteen.  She has thirty minutes to get here,” Chris said as he and Julie got out of the taxi in front of the airport.  They had declined the offer of a limo.  They needed to talk away from the other guys.

“Chris, I really think she’ll be here.  Calm down,” Julie said.  They checked their bags and headed for the VIP lounge, where they would be meeting the other members of NSYNC.

“What did she say?  Anything?  Anything special you remember?”  Chris asked earnestly.  Julie ignored him and went to the counter.  She got them each a cup of coffee, and she also bought a bag of doughnuts.  “Jules…” Chris whined.

Julie sighed as they sat down.  “Let me think…she DID say that she should just take the money, take the clothes and run.  She said that most people would, but she wanted to be honest with me since you and I had been so nice to her.  This I DO remember.  She said she’d want to go to the beach somewhere…somewhere down South.”

“A-ha!”  Chris said triumphantly.  “Lara always dreamed of going to the South.  She had this thing for Gone with the Wind.  She always wanted to visit Atlanta, wanted to be Scarlett O’Hara.”  He smiled.  “Anything else?”

“That’s all I can really think of, honey,” Julie answered.  She placed her hand over Chris’ and said nothing.  For his sake, she really hoped this woman was who he thought she was.

 

“Yo, Chris…Julie!”  Joey said, smiling with delight.  “What are you doing here?”  He gave her a big hug.

“Hi, Joe,” Julie said, laughing as he swung her around.

“Finally.  You’ve decided to surgically attach yourself to Chris so he has some class ALL the time,” Justin said.  Chris gave him the finger as he kissed Julie’s cheek.

“Hey, Jules,” Lance said softly, giving her a hug.

“Hi, Lance.  Hey, JC.  How’s the symphony coming?”  Julie said with a teasing smile.  JC blushed slightly.  She always asked him to write a symphony for her to star in, and he always said he was working on it.

“Almost finished. Just looking for the right way to end it.”

“Sure you are,” Julie said, laughing.

“What ARE you doing here?” Justin asked, going over to the counter and buying three Mountain Dews for the flight to Florida.  “I thought you were coming down next week with the other girls.”

“I am…but I needed to come down now,” Julie replied, looking at Chris. She didn’t know what all he wanted to tell them.

“Let’s go over to the gate,” Chris said suddenly.  He stood quickly, almost knocking JC over.

“Now?  We don’t have to board for another fifteen minutes, Chris,” Lance pointed out.

“C’mon, man.  Let’s just stay here…” JC began.

“I’m going over there.  You guys can stay here or go there…doesn’t matter to me.”  Chris hurried out of the lounge.  The other men looked at Julie.

“Um…let’s go.  Let’s just make him happy, okay?”  She started out the door after him.  The guys hurried after her.

“Julie, what is going on?  What are you really doing here?”  Lance asked.  Julie sighed.  Of all of Chris’ bandmates, she was probably closest to Lance.

“I told you…Chris needed me to be here now.”  They stopped walking as they caught sight of Chris pacing in front of the gate.  He was biting his nails and muttering to himself.

“Um, Jules?  He’s talking to himself,” Joey observed.

“He’s finally caught up to JC.  Finally gone over the edge,” Justin said. JC smacked him.

“Look, guys…something odd happened here a few days ago and…”

“Obviously,” Joey commented.  JC smacked him.

“…and you just need to bear with him…with us…okay?  And PLEASE don’t make fun of him.” Julie glared at Justin and Joey.

“What?”  They asked together.

“Seven minutes…seven minutes…” Chris was saying as they approached him.  “Seven minutes!”  He announced to Julie.

“It’ll be okay, Chris.  There’s enough time to…” Julie stopped talking as she looked down the corridor of the airport.

“Who’s THAT?”  JC slid his sunglasses down to the bottom of his nose.

A young woman struggled with two suitcases and a backpack.  She wore sneakers, but her skirt was almost as short as the denim jacket she wore.  A cropped halter-top peeked out from under the jacket.  “Holy hell…I thought you shopped for her…” Chris whispered.

“I DID!”  Julie insisted.  “Forgot to get her a winter coat, though.”

“She won’t need one in Florida,” Chris reminded her.  He pasted on a smile.  “Hi!” 

“Hi…I’m sorry I was almost late…I…I…I had to talk to Allan,” Volandra said.  She didn’t remove her sunglasses.

“Here…let me take one of these.”  Chris reached down for the handle of one of the suitcases.

“Thanks.  They have wheels but they’re still a pain in the…” Volandra stopped talking as she looked at the four men watching her.  “Holy fuck…you ARE one of them!  I didn’t want to believe it…I didn’t even tell anyone cuz I thought your girl was lying.  Hi, Julie.”

“Hello, Volandra,” Julie said with a grin.

“Let me help you, too,” Justin said quickly, rushing forward to grab her other suitcase.

“And me,” Joey added, taking her backpack.

“Well, aren’t you too kind?”  Volandra’s smile lit up her face.  She flipped her long dark hair over her shoulder.  “Let me see if I remember what Julie told me.  Joey, right?  And…Justin?”

“Yeah,” Justin said, looking proud to be recognized.

“And this is JC and that is Lance,” Julie said, pointing to the other two men.

“Yes…Lance…I remember you…” Volandra held out her hand and Lance took it, still momentarily shocked.

“This is Volandra…a friend of Chris’,” Julie finally said.  She knew no other way to introduce her.

“Any friend of Chris’ is a friend of ours,” Joey said quickly.  JC and Justin nodded.  Lance still stared.

“Thank you,” Volandra began, but was interrupted by a string of sneezes.  Justin and Joey took a step back. 

“Did you take the medicine I gave you?”  Chris asked her.  She nodded.

“Yes, Dad.”  She turned to JC.  “Is he always like this?”

“Absolutely,” he replied.  Justin and Joey nodded violently.

“You’ve been sick?”  Justin asked sympathetically. She nodded.

“Yes, and Chris here was kind enough to get me some medicine.  I’m almost out, though.”

“We’ll get you more in Florida,” Chris promised.

“Thanks, Chris.” She smiled a genuine smile, then turned to Justin and Joey.  “Know what would help though?  I bet a big glass of apple juice would be just what I needed.”

“I thought you were supposed to drink orange juice when you were sick,” Lance said.  Volandra almost glared at him.

“I don’t LIKE orange juice, Lancey-Poo,” she said.  She looked at Justin and Joey again.  She still hadn’t removed her sunglasses, but Chris could just imagine the pleading look in her big blue eyes.

“I’ll get you some,” Justin said quickly.

“No, I will,” Joey said.

“We board in like two minutes, guys,” JC said.

“We’ll be back.”  Justin took off for the lounge, followed closely by Joey.  Volandra giggled and sat down. 

“Remember what you said about Lara always wanting to be Scarlett O’Hara?”  Julie murmured to Chris.  He nodded.  “She’s perfected it.”  Julie went over to sit by Volandra. “What happened to all the clothes we bought yesterday?”

“I had to meet with Allan this morning.”  Volandra frowned.  “Didn’t have time.  But I’ll change on the plane.”

“Good,” Julie said with a relieved sigh as Justin and Joey each came hurrying back with a Styrofoam cup of juice.

“Okay, let’s board!” Chris said with a satisfied smile. He’d deal with his horny friends later.  What mattered most was Lara.  And this WAS Lara.  His old friend loved apple juice and hated orange juice. Things were looking up more and more each second.

 

“I’m gonna go change now,” Volandra said as soon as the plane took off and it was safe to walk around.  She dug through her backpack and pulled out a bundle of clothing.  She hurried off to the bathroom with Julie close behind her.  The four members of NSYNC pounced on Chris as soon as the women were gone.

“Dude, who IS that?”  JC asked.

“Who cares?  She’s beautiful!”  Justin exclaimed.  Chris shoved him.

“Remember Mari?  The woman you’re supposedly in love with?”

“Of COURSE I do.  I love Mari…just making an observation,” Justin muttered.

“I second that observation.  This Volandra friend of yours is a hottie,” Joey added.  Chris shoved HIM.

“Need I mention Crystal, Joe?  You two are AWFUL!”  Chris said.  He shook his head.  “What I have to tell you you guys probably won’t believe, and I don’t want you to laugh, okay?”  His brown eyes were so earnest that they all nodded. 

 

“You okay in there?” Julie called through the door to the tiny bathroom.

“Yeah,” Volandra shouted back.  “I just wish these bathrooms were a little…bit…bigger,” she panted as she struggled into her jeans and tshirt.  “A contortionist would need more room than this!”

“I’m really glad you came along, Volandra,” Julie said.  There was silence and then the door opened.   Volandra’s blue eyes narrowed.

“You don’t have to lie to me.”

Julie’s brown eyes met Volandra’s.  “I’m not lying.  Look, I’m being honest.  I love Chris.  I want him happy.  For some reason, the thought of you being his long lost best friend makes him happy, so I’m going along with this.  I’m also watching you. Carefully.  You fuck with him and I will completely wipe Florida clean with your ass. Understand?”

Volandra smiled sweetly.  “Crystal clear.  So, where are those cute bandmates of his?”  Volandra started back towards the group of friends.  Julie grabbed her arm.

“They’re ALL taken.”

“So? Doesn’t mean I can’t TALK to them.”  Volandra sashayed down the aisle.  Julie sighed and followed her. 

 

“So, let me get this straight.  You were driving through New York and just SAW her, walking down the street?”  Joey asked.

“Exactly,” Chris said, fibbing slightly.  They didn’t need to know what she was doing on the street corner.

“But she says she’s not the person you think she is,” Lance added slowly.  Chris nodded.

“Look, I know it’s insane, but I just…it’s HER, guys.  I know it.  I would stake my life on it.”

“The way Julie is glaring at her, your life just might BE at stake,” JC commented in an undertone as the women returned.

“Feeling better, Volandra?”  Justin asked politely.

“Yes, thank you.” Volandra flopped down onto a seat between JC and Chris.  “That juice really made my stomach settle.” She smiled at Justin and Joey gratefully.  They both blushed.  Chris rolled his eyes.

“I’m gonna go talk to Julie.”  He walked back a few rows to where his fiancée was looking out the window.

“I’m gonna go sleep.”  JC got up as well.  Justin and Joey were quick to take the empty seats next to Volandra.  Lance muffled a groan and picked up a business magazine.  He sat down across the aisle.

Volandra looked around the private jet.  “You guys always travel like this?”

“Every once in a while.  It’s nice to arrive home in style, ya know?”  Justin said. 

“You all live in Florida?”

“Not permanently.  Lance has a house in Mississippi, where he’s from, and we all have apartments in Florida.  JC and Justin share one,” Joey offered.  “I’M on my own.”

Volandra laughed.  “Poor you…all alone.” She leaned across the seat to talk to Lance.  “You’re really from Mississippi?  I thought I caught a Southern accent, but I couldn’t place it.”

“Yes, I’m really from Mississippi,” Lance said, marking his place in the magazine article.  He smiled at her politely.

“I’ve always wanted to see the REAL South.  Maybe you could show me around your hometown sometime?”

“I’m not sure…my work with the group keeps me busy, as does my management company and my girlfriend.”  Lance went back to his magazine and Volandra glared at him.

“So, how long will you be in Florida?  Chris said you’re taking a vacation?”  Justin asked.  Volandra glanced at Chris and realized that he hadn’t told them what she did to support herself. 

“Yes…a vacation.  I needed one.  And it’s so cold in New York right now.”  Volandra shivered at the thought.  “I was kinda worried…coming down here on the charity of virtual strangers…but now I’ve made all kinds of new friends.”  She beamed a bright smile at Justin and Joey. 

“You don’t remember Chris at all?”  Joey asked.  Volandra swallowed deeply.

“I remember…some…but it’s all gonna come back to me during this vacation, I’m sure.”

 

“Julie, I love you for this. I owe you big time,” Chris said, kissing Julie’s cheek.  “I’m sorry you don’t like her.  Really…the real Lara…you’d love her. If I could just get her out of that Volandra state she’s in.”

“Chris, it’s not that I don’t like her…it’s just that I feel she’s using you…and I don’t like the way she’s flirting with the guys.”

“Jules, she’s gonna do that.  It’s how she made money, for God’s sake. Not that she’s gonna proposition them, or anything, but just cut her some slack, okay?”

“I’ve been cutting slack for a few days now,” Julie snapped.  Chris sighed.

“I’m gonna go talk to her.”  Chris stood up and went over to Volandra.  “Can I talk to you?”

“Sure!  Excuse me, guys.” She got up and followed Chris to a row in the far back of the plane, totally aware of Justin and Joey’s eyes on her legs, which were well-defined by the tight blue jeans she wore.  “What’s up?”

“Just wanted to talk.”  Chris stared at her curiously.  “Why haven’t you taken off your sunglasses?”

“You know how it is when you have the flu…your eyes are sensitive,” Volandra hedged.

“It’s not that bright in here,” Chris said playfully.  “C’mon.”

“No, I…” Volandra pulled back from his hands.

“Lemme see.”  Chris swiped the sunglasses from her face.  “Good God, Volandra!”  He gasped at the purple and black welt around her left eye.

 

“Give me those!”  Volandra snapped, grabbing the sunglasses and putting them back on.  She wasn’t quick enough, however, and the others on the plane saw her face once Chris yelled.

“What happened?”  Julie asked.  Volandra blushed and played with the hem of her tshirt.

“Oh, nothing, I just walked into something and…” she trailed off when she realized that no one believed her.  “Okay, fine.  Allan got a bit pissed off that I was leaving.  Said my place was with him, not with some loony stranger.”  She looked at Chris, embarrassed.  “Sorry, didn’t mean to tell you that part.”

“It’s okay,” Chris said.  He reached off and carefully removed the sunglasses.  Volandra let him this time.  “Shit…Volandra…you should put ice on that.”

“I'll get some.”  JC got up and went to the small kitchen.  He came back with a towel full of ice.

“Thank you,” Volandra said gratefully.  She carefully held the towel to her face.

“Who’s Allan?”  Justin asked.

“Her…” Chris began.

“Boyfriend,” Julie finished.

“God, what an asshole!” Joey exclaimed.  “You really should dump him.”

“I wish it was that easy,” Volandra said sadly.

 

Half an hour later Volandra fell asleep leaning against Chris’ shoulder. He carefully slid out of the way, putting a pillow in his place.  He resumed his seat next to Julie.  She immediately snuggled close to him.

“I would never ever hit you, you know that, right?” 

“Absolutely,” she replied.  “I just can’t imagine wanting to STAY with someone like that.”

“She doesn’t really have any other options,” Chris reminded her quietly.  “I’m hoping this trip might jog her memory.  It would probably be better to take her home, to Pennsylvania, but that might be disastrous for her, plus we have that charity thing we’re doing in Orlando next week.”

“Disastrous?”

“Well, for all the people at home now, she’s dead and gone…another New York City victim.  They’d be jumping all over her, and if she doesn’t remember, it would just drive her crazy.  They drive ME crazy and I DO remember.”

Julie giggled.  “You’re a good friend, Chris.  And I’m beginning to believe what you think.  I saw her looking at you earlier while you were talking with the guys.  She was staring at you, like she was trying really hard to remember something.”

“Really?” Chris’ face lit up.  “That gives me hope, if nothing else.  At least she’s willing to try.”

 

“So, when will I see you guys again?” Volandra asked JC, Joey and Justin

“We don’t live that far from Chris.  Maybe you can come over to our apartment sometime,” Justin said quickly. 

“Or come to my place once he starts driving you crazy,” Joey added.  Volandra giggled.

“You’re all so nice.  It’s been really nice meeting you and I hope we can hang out again.”  She sent a glare Lance’s way but gave him a sweet smile.  He smiled back just as sweetly. “I understand you all have significant others?”

“Yes, but none of them live around here,” Justin said.  Lance smacked him.  “I mean…they’ll be here next week.”

“Good.  I’d love to meet them.”  She picked up her bags.  “Guess we’ll see you around, then.”

“See ya,” Joey said faintly as Volandra followed Chris and Julie down the corridor of the airport.

“What the hell is wrong with you two?”  Lance asked angrily.  “She flashes a smile, tosses her hair, and you guys forget your girlfriends?”

“We were just being friendly,” Justin protested.

“Friendly my ass,” Lance muttered, slinging his backpack over his shoulder.  “Let’s get out of here.  I need to call Cate.”

 

“Wow!  This house is amazing!”  Volandra spun around in the foyer of Chris’ house.  “Huge!”

“Not that big,” Chris said modestly.

“Amazing,” Volandra repeated.  “How far are we from the beach?”

“About a thirty minute drive,” Julie replied.

“Amazing.”  Volandra looked around with wide eyes.

“C’mon.  I have two guestrooms for you to choose from. Both have their own bathroom and overlook the pool.” Chris led the way upstairs.

“The pool? You have a pool?”  Volandra asked excitedly. 

“We sure do,” Chris said, opening two doors. “Choose.”

“Wow.  They’re both so nice.”  Volandra poked her head into one room, which was all decorated in pink.  The other room was done in dark blues.  “Oh, this one.  Absolutely.”  She motioned to the blue room. Chris grinned.

“I knew it.  Blue always was your favorite color.  You hate pink.”

“Look, Chris, I appreciate that you are putting me up and all, giving the poor whore a vacation.  But quit acting like you know everything about me.  I’m NOT this chick, okay? I’m just a girl off the streets taking advantage of the Chris Kirkpatrick Generosity Fund.  Quit trying to second guess me!” Volandra slammed the door of the bedroom.  Chris’ dark eyes grew sad.

“Honey, don’t let her hurt you like that.  You have to see her side of things,” Julie said sympathetically.  “How would you like it if someone started telling you things about yourself that you thought no one knew?”

“But, I…blue IS her favorite color!” Chris insisted.

“Come on, sweetie.  Let’s go lay down for a while.  Let her go.”  Julie tugged on Chris’ arm until he followed her to the master bedroom.

 

Volandra unpacked her things and decided to explore the house that was to be her home for the next two weeks.  She knew Chris wouldn’t mind.  She smiled a wry smile as she quietly went down the stairs.  She had a feeling Chris wouldn’t mind anything she did. 

The house WAS gorgeous.  The rooms were open and bright, and it wasn’t just a house that you’d see in a magazine.  It was a home.  Pictures of Chris and his bandmates as well as Chris and Julie were everywhere.  They were a tight-knit group.  Volandra frowned as she looked at a large framed picture on the wall.  All five of the NSYNC guys as well as Julie and four other women were seated on a wooden fence.  It almost looked like it was taken out West on some sort of ranch.  Everyone wore a too-large cowboy hat with his or her name on it.  Julie was next to Chris, of course.  Next to Lance was a girl with brownish-red hair and blue eyes.  He was looking at her adoringly.  Her hat said Cate.  Volandra groaned.  Lance was not her favorite person and she hardly knew him.

Joey had an arm thrown over the shoulder of a petite girl with brown hair and dark eyes to match his own.  Her hat said Crystal.  Justin’s girl was trying to steal his hat.  Her hair was red and flowed from under her hat, ending at her shoulders.  Her hat said Mare, which Volandra assumed was short for Marian or Marianne.  JC’s girl was standing on the ground between her knees.  She was VERY short, and had brown hair as well.  Her name was Melissa.

Volandra sighed and glared at the picture.  Life wasn’t fair sometimes.  She bet those women hadn’t had to work a day in their lives, and now they had hooked up with the hottest men in music at the moment.  She frowned again.  She liked her life.  Loved it.  Allan was good to her, and…she reached up and lightly touched the bruise around her eye.  He had been absolutely furious when she had told him she was going away.  He had told her that if she knew what was good for her, she’d stay right where she was.  Volandra knew he wasn’t worried about her making any money for him; since she had been sick business had died down.  She was actually very lucky he hadn’t thrown her out on the street.  He was all about some new girl named Brittany, and Volandra just tried to stay out of his way.

Volandra plopped down on a sofa and moodily stared at the coffee table in front of her.  SHE used to be the one he adored.  He took care of her, and when money got tight he had a hard time asking her to do some work for him.  Said he didn’t like to think of her doing it, but that it would help so much if she could…as long as she promised only to think of him when she was with a john.  At the time, it seemed romantic.  Now it seemed obnoxious.  Volandra closed her eyes and rubbed her temples.  She KNEW that this wasn’t the life she had dreamt of as a child…but for some reason childhood memories were hard to come by.  She could never remember anything before Albany…and even those memories were given to her by Allan.  Life in the city was so stressful that she didn’t often allow herself to think about her past.  Her present and future were what mattered.

She opened her eyes and saw a photo album on the table.  She picked it up and flipped to the middle.  Very early pictures of NSYNC filled the pages.  She giggled at JC’s Julius Caesar hairdo, and the nightmare pineapple hair Chris was sporting.  Joey looked the same, same great smile.  Lance was better looking now, though the green eyes were gorgeous even back then.  Justin was a cute little boy.  She wondered how old he was now.  Volandra sighed and flipped to the front of the album.  She smiled at childhood pictures of Chris, as a baby, as a toddler, starting school.  She flipped ahead to pictures of him from late elementary school and froze.  He was standing with three other children, and there was no mistaking the little girl he had his arms around.  She had brown hair and blue eyes, and Volandra stared at her own smile on the little girl’s face.

 

Chris knocked on the door of the blue guestroom. “Volandra?”  There was no answer.  “Look, Volandra, I’m sorry, okay?  I didn’t mean to make you upset.”  He yawned and stretched.  He knocked again and got no answer.  Chris sighed and made his way downstairs.  Julie was still napping, but it was almost dinnertime and he had to find something to feed his guest.  He started poking around in the kitchen.  He glanced out the window and jumped when he caught sight of a figure sitting by the pool.  He smiled and made his way outside.  “Hey.”

“Hi,” Volandra said softly, kicking her feet back in forth in the blue water.  Her jeans were rolled up to her knees.  Chris noticed the red nail polish on her toenails.

“I was knocking on your door…here I thought you weren’t answering cuz you were mad.  Guess it’s hard for you to answer the door when you’re outside, huh.”  Volandra gave him a small smile but said nothing.  “Mind if I join you?”

“Of course not.  It’s your pool.”

Chris sat down next to her but didn’t put his feet into the water.  “True, but if you wanted peace and quiet, I wanted to give you peace and quiet.”

“And I get the feeling that you giving someone peace and quiet is a big sacrifice,” Volandra gently teased.  He smiled and nodded.

“I think you’re right.”  They sat together in silence for a few moments. 

“Is Julie still here?”

Chris nodded.  “Still sleeping, the lazy bum.  She should be up cooking me dinner.”  Volandra gave him a sharp look and he held up his hands.  “Kidding…kidding…actually, I was looking for something to cook for dinner.  Anything special you’re hungry for?”

“Whatever you want is fine.  No cheese, please.  Not too fond of cheese.”  Volandra stared down at the waves her feet were making.

“Okay, sure.  I’ll come up with something,” Chris promised.  “You okay? Still feeling sick?”

“No, I’m much better.  That medicine was just what I needed, thanks.”  She finally met his gaze.  “Tell me about this Lara person.  The person you think I am.”

Chris was momentarily stunned, then soon recovered.  “Well, she liked to talk…liked to laugh…A LOT.  We could talk about ANYTHING.  One minute we’d be giggling over something incredibly dumb, then the next she could be crying on my shoulder about something that was hurting her.  And she cried.  Man, she would cry at the drop of a hat.”  Chris smiled at the memory.  “Happy, sad, angry, she cried.  When she left for New York, I thought she cried all the liquid right out of her body.”

“She went to write?”  Volandra asked softly.

“Yes.  She was talented.  VERY talented.  She should have been working on a novel or something, but she wanted to write screenplays, for some reason.”

“Smart?”

“Oh, hell yeah.  Too smart for her own good sometimes,” Chris said with a laugh.  “But she was very into helping people.  She tutored at the community center…like foreigners who were trying to learn English.  And she was really family oriented.”

“You’re talking about her in the past tense,” Volandra pointed out softly. Chris blushed.

“I guess I am.  We kinda just assumed she was gone…that something happened to her and that we could never find her.”  His dark eyes were unwavering.  “Then I saw you.”

“Yes…then you saw me and all your mysteries were solved.”  Volandra stood and brushed off her backside.  “I’m not that girl, Chris.  Not this angel you remember.  I’m a whore…did you forget that?  And I bet your precious Lara could never lower herself to do something like I do.”

“Wait a minute.”  Chris was on his feet in an instant.  “She was no angel, I assure you. She was picky and annoying and sometimes she was loud and she was so damned STUBBORN it would drive you up a wall.”  Chris glared at Volandra angrily.  “And don’t talk yourself down like that.  You told me that this job is not something you choose, that it just happens.  I’m sure you…”

“You can’t be sure about anything. You don’t know me, Chris.  I appreciate all you’ve done here, but please,” Volandra begged.  “Please don’t just assume you know me.”

“I’m sorry.  You’re right,” Chris said.  “Forgive me.”

“Of course.”  Volandra gave him a tiny smile.  “I’m gonna go change into shorts.  Call me for dinner?”

“Of course,” Chris mimicked, and she giggled.  “I’m glad you’re here, Volandra.”

“Me, too,” Volandra admitted, then turned and walked into the house.

 

Volandra spent the next two days thinking.  Thinking a lot.  Julie and Chris showed her around Orlando, and every day they drove out to the beach, which was where she seemed happiest.  She followed Julie around like a puppy, seeming to feel more comfortable with Julie than with Chris.  Julie understood and didn’t say anything, though it annoyed Chris that Volandra didn’t seem to want to spend any time with him.

The night before Julie was due to fly back to Canada, Volandra asked Chris if she could make a long distance call. He said of course, and she went into his den, leaving the door open behind her.  Chris was dying to go listen out in the hallway, but Julie kept him in the living room.

“She’s calling Allan, Chris, you know that.  Who else?”

“I thought, maybe…oh, I don’t know.  I hoped maybe she had had some sort of miraculous recovery and was calling home.”

“You know better,” Julie chided gently.  He sighed and laid his head on her lap.

“I’m gonna miss you.”

“I’ll be back in four days.”

“Four LONG days,” Chris moaned.  “She won’t talk to me now.  This house will be a tomb without you.”

“Glad to know I’ll be missed,” Julie said with a smile.  Chris took her hand and kissed it.

“You’re always missed.”

 

“Yo, this is Allan.”

“Allan? It’s Volandra.” Volandra nervously played with a pen as she talked.

“Well well well…the little jetsetter.  Home yet?  Ready to work?”

“No, I’m not home. I’m still in Florida.  Don’t you even miss me?” 

“Of COURSE I miss you, Baby.  Miss you lots.  I hope you don’t mind, but I gave your corner to Brittany.  She’s doing real good and I think she could get business picked back up there.  I moved you over to Samantha’s corner.  She OD’d last night.  Damn druggie.”

Volandra’s face went white.  She had known Samantha almost two years, and Allan was talking about her like she was yesterday’s trash.  “I’m so sorry.  Poor Sam.”

“Yeah, well, serves the bitch right.  So, you coming back or what?”

“Not yet, Allan,” Volandra said, shocked at the total lack of emotion in his voice.  “I have a question.  How long have I known you?”

“A little over four years.  Why?”

“I thought you said we knew each other in Albany,” Volandra said softly.

“We did.  I thought you meant how long have we been together.”

“And how did we meet?  In school?”

“Yeah, right.  Ages ago.  Elementary school.  That’s right.  Look, ‘Landra, I gotta go.  Business.  Take care and get your ass back here ASAP, okay?”

“Okay, Allan. Bye.”  Volandra hung up the phone and stared into space.  She didn’t notice Julie out in the hallway.  She had gotten up to get a drink and couldn’t help but hear the end of Volandra’s conversation.

Julie snuck back into the living room.  “Cheer up, Chris.  She’s beginning to believe you.”

Four Days Later

 

“Hey there, Beautiful,” Chris said, giving Julie a fierce hug as soon as she walked out of the gate at the airport.  “I missed you so much. When the hell are you gonna move down here?”

“When Orlando gets a decent symphony,” she told him, grinning.  She kissed him passionately.  “I missed you, too.”  She turned to smile at Volandra, who was lurking behind Chris uncomfortably.  “Hello, Volandra.” She gave Volandra a hug, which surprised the other woman.

“Welcome back, Julie.  I missed you, too,” she said shyly.  Julie looked at Chris in amazement but said nothing.

“How many suitcases did you bring THIS time?”  Chris asked Julie as they walked towards the luggage carousel.

“Three,” she said, smacking him. “And they’re not that heavy.”

Volandra excused herself to use the restroom.  Chris looked at Julie and sighed.  “This has been weird.”

“Anything happen?”

“Well, she’s been unconsciously grilling me about my past for days now.  And every night after we go to bed, I hear her up walking around.  One night I snuck down to the living room around two am and she was asleep on the sofa with a photo album in her lap.  An album from my childhood.”  Chris smiled broadly.  “I think she believes me.  I didn’t tell her I saw her, though.  I don’t want to frighten her.  We’ve become pretty good friends since you left.  I don’t push the issue, and she is becoming more comfortable with me.”

“That’s good, Honey,” Julie said.  “Oh, that’s mine!  Grab it!”  Chris groaned as he grabbed two black suitcases.  Julie grabbed the third just as Volandra returned.  Volandra picked up one of the suitcases Chris had rescued.

“Joey’s having a pool party tomorrow,” Chris told Julie as they headed for the parking lot.  “All the girls are getting in at various times tonight.”

“You’ll have fun,” Julie said to Volandra.  “The girls are great.”

“I’m sure they are,” Volandra said softly.  She was not looking forward to this party.  Though she felt very comfortable with Chris and Julie, and though she knew no one else knew what she did for a living, she was still very nervous.

“God, I missed you.”  Chris dropped his suitcase and grabbed Julie, sweeping her into a deep kiss.  Julie blushed a deep red and Volandra started to giggle.

“Ever have one of these?”  Julie asked her, trying not to notice the stares they were receiving.

“I don’t think so, thank God,” Volandra replied.  Julie laughed and they continued out to the car.

THE NEXT DAY

“You bought her a bathing suit, right?” Chris asked Julie as he paced by the front door.

“Yes, Chris,” Julie sighed.  “We got a very pretty blue one.”

“Okay…I just…I want them all to be nice to her, okay?  I know she’s nervous. She thinks people know she’s a…well…you know.”

“Yes, Chris, but she’s wrong.  She doesn’t act like you’d expect a…prostitute to act.”  Julie walked to the foot of the stairs.  “Volandra, come on!  We’re late already!”

“Sorry…sorry…” Volandra came hurrying downstairs, looking very cute in a blue tank top and denim shorts. “I couldn’t find my sandals.”

“Women,” Chris grumbled.  Volandra and Julie smacked him simultaneously.

 

“Julie!”  A petite brunette shrieked as soon as Chris, Julie and Volandra walked out into Joey’s backyard.  She gave Julie a vicious hug.  “It’s been WAY too long.”  She hugged Chris as well and looked at Volandra curiously.

“Crystal, this is Volandra, a friend of Chris’ from New York,” Julie said.  “This is Joey’s girlfriend, Crystal.”

“Hi,” Volandra said shyly.

“Chris has FRIENDS?  Who woulda thought it?”  Crystal said with a grin.  “C’mon, Jules.  The others are over here.  You too…was it Volandra?”  Volandra nodded.  “What a neat name.”  Crystal took Julie by the arm and dragged her to a patio table in the corner.

“Hey, Volandra!” Justin yelled, waving from his chair by the grill.  The other members of NSYNC were gathered around the grill, all trying to tell Joey the best way to cook a steak.

“Hi, Justin!”  Volandra gave a small wave.  “Hi, Joey and JC.  Lance.”  She said the last name only out of courtesy.  JC and Joey waved, and Lance nodded in her direction.

“God, what an asshole,” Volandra said under her breath.  Crystal looked at Julie, who shook her head.

Julie was greeted with loud hellos and hugs from the other three girlfriends.  “Guys, this is a friend of Chris’.  Her name is Volandra.  Volandra, this is Justin’s girlfriend, Mari, Lance’s girlfriend, Cate, and JC’s girlfriend, Melissa.”

Volandra shyly said hello.  The other girls gave her friendly smiles, but immediately started talking to Julie all at once.  Volandra took a few steps back, smelling the roses that were climbing up the wooden fence that surrounded Joey’s backyard.

“How did she know their names?” Cate demanded in a quiet voice. 

“How do you think, Cate?  She flew down with us from New York,” Julie informed her.

“I’ve already heard all about her,” Mari said, narrowing her green eyes.  “Justin’s told me ALL about her.”

“Really?”  Crystal gasped.

“Sure.  Said how pretty she was, and that she doesn’t remember being Chris’ friend.  Is this true?”  Mari asked Julie.  All eyes turned to her. Julie slowly nodded.

“Yes.  He SWEARS he recognizes her and she says she’s not the person he’s looking for.  But he convinced her to come along anyway.”

“Of COURSE he did,” Cate argued.  “If you were in New York and a stranger, a WEALTHY stranger, invited you to stay with him in Florida, wouldn’t you go?”

“Cate, back off!”  Julie said in Volandra’s defense.  “She didn’t even know what he did for a living.”

“Whatever.  I don’t trust her,” Mari said, watching Volandra as she stripped down to her bathing suit.  The girls gaped as a slender, well-shaped body was revealed by a tasteful blue two-piece bathing suit.  “Nope.  Don’t trust her ONE bit.”

 

“Volandra, come ON!” Julie shouted up the steps. “We’re late already!”

“I’m not going!”  Volandra shouted, but she came downstairs anyway.  “Can’t I go with you?”  She asked Chris.  He shook his head. 

“Sorry.  We’re working on some stuff for the new album and you’d really just be in the way,” Chris said apologetically.  “Why don’t you want to go?  Girls’ day out.”

“Those girls hate me,” Volandra said in a cold tone.  Julie stared at her.

“They’re my friends, Volandra,” Julie said quietly.

“I realize that, Julie, and I tried to be nice to them yesterday.  They either ignored me or snapped at me.  I’m not trying to break into your little circle.  I didn’t ask to meet them.”  Volandra sighed.  “I’ll just stay here.”

“You’re NOT staying here,” Julie replied stubbornly.  “And they don’t hate you.”

“Maybe not ALL of them.  Crystal was nice, and Melissa wasn’t too bad.  It’s those other two…whatever their names are.”

“You know perfectly well what their names are!”  Julie snapped.  “Go get some shoes on and get your ass out to the car.”

“You don’t have the right to tell me what to do!” Volandra yelled.

“Someone should.  Someone should kick your bitchy ass into line,” Julie yelled back.

“I like you, Julie, but I’m about to kick YOUR ass,” Volandra growled.  Chris jumped in between them.

“Volandra, I hate the idea of you here alone. Please go with Julie, so I won’t worry, okay?  They’re a tight group, that’s true, but you’ll work your way in. I bet by the end of the day you guys will be best friends.”

“I bet not,” Volandra grumbled.  But she stomped back upstairs to get her shoes.

“You treat her like a baby.”

“Why did you get all defensive?” Chris asked Julie.  She sighed.

“Because she’s right.  Mare and Cate were bitchy to her almost all day yesterday, with Crystal jumping in every now and then.”

“Think they’re jealous?”  Chris asked.

“Hell, I’M jealous.  She just kinda appeared out of nowhere, and she can’t help but flirt, plus she’s pretty.”  Julie smiled up at Chris.  “But I like her.  And I think they could like her, too, if they’d let themselves.”

“I love you.” Chris surprised Julie with a passionate kiss.

“Okay, this is hurting my eyes.” Volandra pretended to cover her face as she returned.  She peeked out of her fingers.  “I’m sorry, Julie. I didn’t mean to yell at you.”

“I didn’t mean it, either.  And I’m sorry if they’re a bit standoffish.  I can’t help that.  But today should be fun.”

“If you say so.”  Volandra surprised Chris with a kiss on the cheek. “Bye, Chris.”

“Bye, Volandra.”

“Bye, honey.”  Julie kissed Chris and followed Volandra out the door.

 

“Hey, Chris, what’s happening?”  Lance asked as he arrived at Lance’s basement studio.  Chris sighed.

“Not much.”  He grabbed a soda from the fridge and flopped down on the sofa next to JC, who was dozing with his head on the arm of the sofa.  “JC, yo, wake up.” Chris shook JC, who groaned.

“Five more minutes.”

“It’s practically noon and he’s still sleeping.” Justin rolled his eyes.  “How are Julie and Volandra?”

“Fine,” Chris said, glaring at him. “You guys really need to back off this whole Volandra thing.  Your women are taking it out on her.”

“What?  You’re crazy.  Mare knows I love her.  Volandra’s a nice girl.”

“You’re not asking about her because she’s a nice girl,” Lance pointed out. “You’re asking about her because your hormone radar jumps about nine hundred percent every time she walks by.”  Lance looked at Chris.  “You know I could care less about her.  She’s your friend, supposedly, and I’ll put up with her.  But the only reason Cate was a bitch to her was the same reason I don’t like her.  I think she’s just out to scam you.”

“Lance, you need to back off,” Chris warned.  JC actually woke up at the tone in Chris’ voice.  He didn’t often get angry.  “She IS who I think she is.  She just doesn’t know it.”

“What do you know about this girl, Chris?  Absolutely NOTHING.  Where did you see her again? Oh, yeah, walking down a street in NEW YORK, of all places,” Lance pointed out.  “She could be a professional THIEF, for all you know.”

“I KNOW she’s not a thief, Lance.  I just know it,” Chris said.  “And I think you need to shut the hell up about her before I deck you.”

“Remember how when you were in elementary school you’d pick and pick on the girl you liked best?  Maybe Lance likes Volandra,” Joey said, trying to make a joke.  Lance gave him an icy glare.

“Hardly.  I’ll shut up about her, though. For now.  Let’s get to work, now that JC decided to wake up.”  Lance walked over to the piano and sat down on a stool next to it.  Chris took another stool as far from Lance as possible.  JC stretched and got up, sitting down behind the piano.

 

“Hi, Julie.  Hi, Volandra,” Melissa said cheerfully when they picked her up.  “Where’s everyone else?”

“They’re gonna meet us at the restaurant,” Julie said from behind the wheel.  Volandra was in the backseat staring out the window.

“You okay, Volandra?”  Melissa asked, concerned. Volandra looked at her, wondering if she was sincere.  Melissa’s brown eyes showed genuine interest, so Volandra smiled at her.

“Fine, thank you.  This is all kinda weird for me.”

“I bet.  Chris drags you down here and then you get thrown into this group of people you don’t even really know.”  Melissa paused.  “I’m sorry about Mare and Cate yesterday.  I don’t know what they’re problem is, except that they’re jealous.”

“Jealous?”  Volandra was surprised.  “I hardly talked to Justin yesterday, and Lance, well, I won’t even GO there.”

“True, but the guys watched you all over the place.  Even JC.  I don’t mind though. I know who he loves best,” Melissa giggled.  Volandra smiled back and stared out the window.  Even when she was trying her best to blend into the woodwork, it was obvious she just wasn’t going to win with Mare and Cate.  She took a deep breath, determined to just be herself.  If they liked it, fine.  If not, too damn bad.  Julie liked her, and Chris liked her…and Chris was really all that mattered.

 

“So, Volandra, what is it that you do in New York?”  Cate asked as they were all served their salads.  Volandra looked at Julie.  She was totally unprepared to answer this question.

“She’s in sales,” Julie said quickly.  “Chris saw her while she was working.”

“I see.”  Cate took a long sip of her iced tea.

“What do YOU do?” Volandra asked, determined not to let these women get to her.

“I’m a photographer,” Cate replied.

“Cate’s famous for her shots of the Outback.  You should see them.  They are beautiful,” Julie told Volandra.  “I think Chris has some framed around the house.”

“Australia, of course.  Should have known by the accent,” Volandra said, smiling at Cate.  “How about you?” Volandra turned to Crystal.

“Nothing that exciting.  I just work with merchandising, mostly with the guys.  You know, getting all those tshirts and glo-sticks and poster books up on their webpage and ready for the concerts,” Crystal replied.  “I work a lot with Melissa.  She helps maintain the webpage itself.”

“Wow, that’s so cool.  I know NOTHING about the Internet,” Volandra said.  “Is it hard?”

“Sometimes.  Getting all the guys together to AGREE on something is what’s hard,” Melissa said with a laugh.  “I really need to eventually get my ass down here for good.  I live in New Orleans, which isn’t that far, but it’s still hard when most of the business is down here in Orlando.”

“I’m moving down here next month,” Crystal informed Volandra.  “Joey FINALLY talked me out of Ohio and into Florida…like it took much convincing!”

“How about you?”  Volandra tried to smile politely at Mari.

“I teach.  I’m a speech professor at Princeton.”  Mari’s green eyes met Volandra’s blue ones.  “You HAVE heard of Princeton, right?” Cate tried to hide a chuckle while the others stared at Mari.

Volandra tossed down her napkin and stood.  “Julie, I’m sorry. I can only take so much.”  She glared at Cate and Mari.  “I don’t know what the hell you two have against me.  Is it jealousy?  Are you afraid that I’ll steal your precious popstar boyfriends?” She turned to Mari.  “As sexy as your man is, he’s a child.  Not interested.  And you,” she turned to Cate.  “Your sweetheart Lance is the most obnoxious dickhead I have ever met!  As handsome as he is, he obviously has a heart as cold as an iceberg.”  She drew a ragged breath.  “I came down here at Chris’ kind invitation.  He told me I’d have a nice vacation, but all I’ve done is defend myself against bitches like you.”

“Maybe you should have stayed in New York, then,” Mari said calmly.  “Rather than using a stranger’s hospitality to get free ride to Florida.”

“Fuck you.”  Volandra shoved her chair in to the table and stalked away.

“That was WAY uncalled for,” Julie snapped at Mari and Cate, rushing after Volandra.  She reached the street just as Volandra jumped into a taxi.

 

Volandra desperately wanted to find Chris, but she had no clue where Lance’s house was.  She gave the driver directions to Chris’ house, and when she arrived there she went in and looked up Lance’s number in Chris’ Rolodex.

“Hello?”

“I need to talk to Chris,” Volandra said tearfully, shuddering at the sound of Lance’s voice.

“Is this Volandra?  Are you okay?” She was surprised at the concern in Lance’s deep voice.

“Fine.  Can I talk to him, please?”

“Chris. It’s Volandra.”  She heard him hand over the phone.

“Volandra?  Where are you?”

“Your house.”

“Where’s Julie?”

“Still in town with…with…”

“Calm down, honey.  I’ll come get you.”

“No.  You’re busy.  Could I…could I PLEASE come there?  I swear to God, I won’t say a word.  I’ll bring a book and you won’t even know I’m there.”  Volandra knew how pitiful she sounded but she couldn’t stay alone any longer.

“Hold on.”  Volandra heard him cover the phone with his hand.  “Of course you can come here.  There’s another car in the garage.  The keys are hanging by the kitchen door.  Here are the directions.”  Chris rattled off the driving directions to Lance’s.  “Okay?”

“Okay,” Volandra whispered.  “Thanks, Chris.”

She went to the bathroom and washed her face before retrieving the keys from the kitchen.  She gasped as she opened the door to the garage.  A smile slowly crossed her face as she looked at the silver BMW convertible in the garage.  Suddenly she was feeling a lot better.  She got in the car, put down the top, and slowly backed out into the driveway.

 

“Hi, Volandra,” Lance said when he opened his front door a short while later. His green eyes were unreadable.

“I’m sorry to interrupt your work,” she said quietly.  “I didn’t know where else to go and I couldn’t be alone.”

“It’s okay,” he said with a warm smile.  He moved aside and let her in.  “Can I get you anything?”

Volandra suddenly realized she was starving.  She hadn’t made it past the salad at the restaurant.  “Um, well…”

“There are snacks downstairs, and we ordered a pizza, and there’s some of that.  Something to drink?”  He asked as he went to the kitchen.

“Just water is fine.”  Lance tossed her a bottle of water then led her down to the studio.  Chris was at her side in an instant.

“What happened?”

Volandra glanced over his shoulder at the other guys.  “I can’t tell you now.”

Chris immediately understood.  “Okay.”  He turned to the others.  “Behave yourselves.  I don’t want to have to kick your asses.”

“Yes, Dad,” Justin said, rolling his eyes.  JC got up from his seat on a loveseat in the corner.  “Sit here, Volandra.”

“Thanks,” she said shyly.  She opened her book and soon tuned out the music and arguing that seemed to constantly intermingle.

 

Chris’ cellphone rang an hour later, making them all jump.  “Hello?  Hey, Julie, yes, she’s here.  She’s fine.”  He looked at Volandra and made a silly face to make her smile.  “No, she didn’t say.  She…um…couldn’t say much right now.” He glanced at his friends, who looked at each other curiously.  “Nah…about another two hours or so, right guys?”  They all nodded.  He looked at Volandra.  “You want Julie to come get you?  We could be a while.” 

Volandra shook her head.  “I’m fine here, if you guys don’t mind.”

“No, it’s fine,” Joey said, and the others agreed.

“I’ll be home soon.  Love you too. Bye.” Chris hung up.  “Okay, let’s get through this.”

“Wait.”  Justin ran up the steps and soon came down carrying four photo albums.  “You might want to look at these.  Chris looked pretty bad at the beginning.”  Justin handed them to Volandra.

“Thanks,” she said with a smile.

“Where’d you get those?” Lance demanded.

“Your bedroom,” Justin replied.

“How do you know what’s in his bedroom?”  Joey wanted to know.

“I’d rather know what’s in his room than YOURS,” Justin commented.  Joey smacked the back of his head.

Volandra did have to chuckle at how they looked in the early days.  They were so young, and looked so different.  She hardly even noticed the hours fly by.  “Whatcha looking at?”  Chris asked, flopping down next to her.  “Oh, God, how embarrassing.”

“You look like a pineapple head,” she told him, and everyone laughed.

“It’s unanimous, Chris.”

“At least it’s better than you look with a shaved head,” Volandra said before she thought.  The room got quiet and they all stared at her.

“What did you say?”  JC asked.

“Chris shaved his head when he was, I don’t know, twelve or something.  One of the kids put gum in his hair, and he had to cut it, so he just shaved it all off.” Chris stared at her.  “What?  You did?  It looked so funny.  You looked like an alien.”

“Yeah, I did,” Chris said slowly.  Volandra wondered why he was staring at her, then realized what she had said.

“I’m, uh, gonna go upstairs.”  She slowly walked up the steps.  Everyone looked at Chris.

“She saw a picture of you in your album.  You said she’d been looking,” Lance said.

Chris shook his head.  “There aren’t any pictures of me like that.  I refused to let a camera near me until it started to grow back.” Chris looked at Lance, wide-eyed.  “She remembered it.”

 

Chris and Volandra didn’t speak on the ride back to his house.  She continually looked out the window, watching the scenery pass by.  He pulled into his garage and turned off the ignition.  Julie wasn’t back yet.

“Could we take a walk?”  Volandra said in a tiny voice.

“Sure.”  Chris closed the garage door behind him and they started down the sidewalk. “There’s a nice park right down the street here.”

“Okay.”  Volandra walked next to him, her hands clenched in fists.  Chris finally put an arm around her, and she allowed him to pull her close.  He felt her shoulders shake with sobs, but he continued to say nothing until they arrived at the park.  They climbed up onto the jungle gym and sat on the top.  Volandra watched her shoes swing back and forth.  “I am really really scared right now,” she finally said.  Chris nodded.  “When I came down here, I really just thought you were some wacko who had a lot of money and could give me a nice vacation.  I mean, it was obvious that you really believed I was this friend of yours, and I kinda felt sorry for you.”  Her blue eyes stared a hole through him.  “And then the other night I found a picture.  You were a kid, and you were with some other kids, and one of them was me.  So then I kept looking and looking at these pictures, wondering if I really WAS this girl…but nothing would come to me.  Until today.”

“You HAD to have remembered that on your own,” Chris told her gently.  “There are NO pictures of me with a shaved head.”

“I know.  The memory was so natural, like I knew it all along.  And I didn’t even realize I was saying it.”  Volandra jumped down and went to lean on the sliding board.  “But now…my mind is buzzing.  Maybe it’s with memories, I don’t know.  But I can’t figure out what’s real and what my mind is making up, you know?”

“I can help you with that,” Chris said.  She nodded.  Her face was miserable.

“If I am this girl, this Lara…how can you stand to look at me?  I’m the person who was your best friend…and now I’m nothing but a whore.”

Chris caught her chin in his hand and forced her to look at him.  “You are NOT just a whore, do you understand me?  Have I EVER treated you that way?  EVER?  No…I haven’t.  I’ve treated you just like anyone else…and I’ve always thought of you as my very best friend, even if you couldn’t be that person yet.  But I think you ARE that person, Volandra.  Hell…I’m not even gonna call you that anymore.  Your name is Lara.”

“Lara,” she repeated, tears sliding down her cheeks.  “It sounds like it could be right…but I don’t know where Volandra came from, then, or how I ended up being a…doing…what I was doing.”

“I’ll help you,” Chris said soothingly, pulling her into a huge hug.  “We’ll work through all that…slowly.  Now, why don’t you tell me why you ran off on Jules?”

Lara’s eyes flared with anger.  “Her bitchy little friends took it upon themselves to treat me like an idiot.  Asked me if I fucking knew what Princeton was!”

“Ah…Mari…” Chris said with a small smile.  “She’s a hard nut to crack.”

“Well, they pissed me off.  They find it impossible to be nice to me, and I wasn’t gonna take it anymore.  Well, Crystal and Melissa were pretty nice, but the other two.  Ugh.”  Lara wrinkled her nose.

“You flirted with their men,” Chris reminded her.

“One time!”  Lara protested.  “And definitely not with Lance. Today was the first time he’s been human to me.”

“He thinks you’re down here to get my money,” Chris finally admitted.  Her eyes narrowed.

“That pasty little prick,” she snapped.  Chris laughed. 

“Let’s go back home.  Julie will be there soon, and she’ll wonder what’s up.  And I’m sure she feels bad about the others.  And, honey, once they realize you’re not after my money and you’re not trying to break anyone up, they’ll love you.  I promise.”

“We’ll see,” Lara sulked, but she followed him back to the car.

 

Julie was pacing the living room rug when they returned to the house.  “God, where WERE you guys?  I was worried sick.”

“Sorry, Jules.  Lara and I needed to talk.” Chris walked over and gave his fiancée a big hug.

“Well, you could have…” Julie interrupted herself and looked at the other woman. “Lara?”

“Yes, Lara.”  Chris beamed.  “She remembers.  Well, remembers SOME, and I’m gonna help her remember the rest.”

“That’s fantastic.”  Julie went over and hugged Lara, who still looked a bit confused.  “I’m so glad.”

“Well, it’s not over yet.  There isn’t much I remember.  Just bits here and there, and I’m not sure if my psyche made them up or if it really happened,” Lara admitted softly.

“Well, there is no way in HELL your psyche could have made up what you remembered today,” Chris pointed out.

“What did you remember?” Julie asked.

“Oh, I’m sure she’s too worn out to talk about it.  Why don’t you go rest, Lara, and then the three of us will go out for a celebratory dinner?”  Chris said quickly.  Lara giggled.

“What’s going on?” Julie asked.  “Lara…help a fellow woman out here.”

“I remembered something Chris did as a child that there is NO photographic evidence of.  Therefore, I couldn’t have seen it, I HAD to have remembered it,” Lara said as she went up the stairs.

“What?  WHAT?”  Julie shrieked, running after her.

 

“This is nice,” Lara said with a sigh as they were seated at a table overlooking the city.  The restaurant Chris had chosen was on the top floor of a fifteen-story building, and was very elegant and expensive.  “I almost don’t know how to act.”

“You never did,” Chris teased gently.

“Ha.  If my memory serves me correctly, I was the one getting YOUR ass out of scrapes,” Lara said quickly, and Julie laughed.

“Oh, I can’t WAIT for you to remember more.  I need all the dish I can get on my future husband.”

“I’m sure she’s too tired to sit and remember trash about me,” Chris said, glaring at Julie, who only laughed harder.

“I’m not tired at all,” Lara said, her blue eyes innocent. “That nap this afternoon was just what I needed.”  She grew serious. “I do feel weird though.  Before, when I really thought I was Volandra, I totally didn’t care if I was taking advantage of your hospitality.  Now…I feel like I’m outright stealing from you.”

“Lara, you’re my best friend.  Friends invite friends to visit and don’t expect them to pay,” Chris said softly, placing his hand over hers.

 

“Oh, God.  Can we go somewhere else?” Mari whined as they were led to their table.

“No.  I’ve wanted to come here for weeks now, and it hasn’t worked out. We’re eating here. What’s your problem?” Justin snapped.

“That’s her problem,” Cate said, pointing with her little finger.  Lance and Justin looked over to where Julie, Lara and Chris were sitting.  “That woman is everywhere.”

“You need to calm down,” Lance said coldly, and Cate stared at him.

“What’s YOUR problem, Lance?  If I remember correctly, you saw her as a money-grubbing tramp just as much as I did,” Cate said.

“Well, today she remembered something.  Something she could not possibly have known without knowing Chris.  She IS who he thought she was all along,” Justin told the girls.  Mari’s mouth dropped open. 

“Well, that’s good for Chris,” she said softly.  She was beginning to regret her behavior earlier that day.

“Yes, it is, but we still know nothing about this woman.  For all we know she could have killed Lara and taken her identity,” Cate replied.  The other three stared at her.

“Cate, you have been reading WAY too many true crime novels,” Justin chuckled, shaking his head.  “Give her a chance, okay?”

“Mari, I’m sure glad MY man doesn’t think with his dick all the time,” Cate said.  Justin narrowed his eyes and Lance stared at her.

“Cate, back off,” he said quietly.  “We’re going to go say hello, and you two will NOT be as evil as you were today.  Chris wouldn’t tell us what happened, but I’m sure it had something to do with the four of you being rude to her.  This is Chris’ best friend.  Grow up, okay?”

“Whatever,” Cate sighed.  Justin and Mari started over to Chris’ table, but Lance held Cate back.

“Cate, what is wrong with you? Where is the sweet woman I love?”

“She’s right here, Lancey, protecting all of you from someone who just waltzed in here and disrupted everything,” Cate insisted.  “I’m sure she’s nice enough, but she…”

“You’re jealous.  Jealous of a new woman who might distract us from you guys,” Lance said, amused.

“No, that’s not it at all,” Cate protested.  Lance kissed her nose.

“Cate, Chris is my friend.  Therefore, Lara is my friend, too.  I treated her like shit just like you guys did, and I’m willing to grovel and make up for it.  TRY to be nice to her, okay?  For Chris.”

“For Chris,” Cate sighed, following Lance towards the table.

 

“Oh, no,” Lara muttered under her breath, holding her menu up to hide her face.

“What?”  Julie looked across the room. “Oh, no.”

“Hey, Justin!”  Chris got up and hugged his friend.  “Hello, Mari.”

“Hi, Chris.  Hi, Julie.  Hi…Volandra,” Mari said hesitantly. “Or is it something different?”

“Lara,” Lara reminded her sharply.  Mari smiled a sincere smile.

“Right, Lara. I’m sorry. I won’t forget that again.”

“It’s okay,” Lara said, surprised.

“What are you guys doing here?”  Chris asked.

“We’re here with Lance and Cate.”  Justin motioned over his shoulder to where Lance and Cate were arguing.  “We’ve wanted to come here for a while but the schedule wouldn’t work until tonight.  How about you guys?”

“Celebrating,” Chris said, beaming a broad smile at Lara, who blushed.

“Of course,” Justin said.  “I hope you get all your memory back soon.”

“Thank you,” Lara said quietly, still slightly embarrassed by the whole scenario.

“Hi, Chris.  Julie, Lara, hi,” Lance said.  Cate glanced at him sharply when he used the other name, but realized that he and Chris had talked about it before.

“Hi, Lance.  Hello, Cate,” Lara said civilly.

“Hi, there.  I like your dress.  That color is good for you,” Cate said, her eyes running over Lara’s dark blue dress.

“Thank you,” Lara replied, looking at her warily.  Lance gave Cate a hug and kissed her cheek.

“Take that compliment, Lara.  Cate knows what looks good on people.”  Lance smiled at Lara.  “Congratulations, I guess, though that sounds weird.”

Lara actually laughed. “You’re right, it does.  I just hope my brain doesn’t get all flooded with information so I end up some kind of vegetable.”

“Doubtful,” Lance said with another smile.

“Well, our table is ready, so we’ll see you guys later,” Justin said, putting an arm around Mari’s waist.

“Wait,” Chris said, glancing at Lara, who nodded.  “We’re having a shindig tomorrow…spur of the moment pool party thing…wanna come?  We already talked to Joey and JC and the girls and they said they’ll be there.”

“Honey?”  Justin asked Mari. She nodded.

“We’ll be there,” Lance said before Cate could reply.

“Good.  See you around eleven, then,” Chris said, smiling at them.  The two couples went to their table.  Lara heaved a sigh.

“That went well,” Julie commented.

“Weird, but well,” Lara said.  “But I think my life will be like that for a while.  Unfortunately, what I want most to remember will NOT come to me.  How in the hell did I end up with Allan…and on the streets?”

 

When Julie came downstairs at ten the next morning, Lara was sitting by the pool.  The kitchen was cleaned up and ready to be used to cook for their guests, and chairs and tables were set up by the pool.  “You’ve been busy!”  Julie said, surprised.  Lara shrugged.

“I couldn’t sleep very late…too much thinking.  Is Chris planning on getting his ass out of bed anytime soon?”

“Probably not.  No one will get here until at LEAST eleven-fifteen, and JC probably won’t even get out of bed until close to noon.  He loves to sleep.”  Julie smiled.  “You okay?”

“Yes…and no.  I’m so glad I’m remembering things…and like I said yesterday, it’s hard to figure out what’s real and what isn’t.  Looking through those photo albums helps.  I see people and I remember names and facts…I want to sit down with Chris and talk to him about what I am remembering and whether it’s right or not.”

“You have all the time in the world,” Julie reminded her.  “The guys will be around for about a month before they have to start doing appearances…you’ll have lots of time.”

“I need to go back to New York,” Lara said suddenly, and Julie’s mouth fell open.  “I need to talk to Allan, find out what the hell happened to me.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t do that,” Julie said slowly.  “From what you’ve said about Allan…I don’t trust you with him alone.”

“I’ll be fine.  I know how to handle him,” Lara promised her.

“Call him,” Julie suggested.  “It might work better.”

“I’ll think about it.”

 

“I’m hungry,” Joey announced as he and Crystal entered Chris’ backyard at eleven-forty.  They were the first couple to arrive.

“You’re always hungry,” Chris snapped.  He had only awakened twenty minutes earlier and was still grouchy.  Crystal wandered over to talk with Julie and Lara.  Joey flopped onto a deck chair near Chris.

“She is so cute,” Joey observed.

“Who, Crystal?  Yeah…you had good taste this time,” Chris replied.

“No…your friend, Lara.”

“Joey, do you EVER quit?”  Chris asked.

“Nah…” Joey flashed his big smile.  “I love Crys, but I’m not dead, for God’s sake.  I can still look.  Is it weird, you know, with her suddenly remembering?”

“Sometimes…but not as weird as it is for her.  She wants me to sit down with her and look through photo albums…to see if what she THINKS she remembers is true.  I think she needs to go home to Pennsylvania, confront the past, but she’s not ready.”

“Can’t blame her,” Joey said.  “Hey, J!”  He yelled at Justin, who was wandering in with Mari close behind him.

“Hey, guys.” Justin kissed Mari’s cheek and came over to the place where the other guys were sitting.  Mari headed for the women.

“Hey there,” Mari said, flopping down on a chair next to Julie.  “I cannot believe how early it is.”

“You sound like JC,” Crystal said with a giggle.

“Yeah, well, Justin kept me up last night.”  Mari winked to show what she meant.  “He is insatiable.”

“I bet,” Lara observed, looking at Justin over her glasses.  “Young…strong…lots of stamina, am I right?”

“Yeah,” Mari said guardedly.  Lara blushed.

“I’ve been with a lot of different guys…you learn…” she said weakly.  Julie jumped in.

“Should we place bets on how late JC is?”

“Of course not.  I’m just surprised Lance and Cate aren’t here yet.  They’re usually on time,” Crystal commented.

“Well…they kinda had a spat last night.  They seemed kinda distant at the restaurant last night,” Mari commented.  Lara blushed slightly.  “Look, Lara…I’m sorry about how we treated you.  You just…I dunno…came in from nowhere and we were worried…for Chris.”

“I understand,” Lara said softly.

“I’m not sure you do.”  Mari glanced at Julie and Crystal before continuing.  “We’ve been with the guys for a while now…either working or as significant others.  I guess we formed a pretty tight circle and we can be kinda bitchy when people try to break through.”

“No, you can be VERY bitchy,” Lara replied.  Mari looked shocked, then laughed.

“Absolutely.”

 

Lara wandered into the house two hours later.  She sat down at Chris’ grand piano and let her fingers wander over the keys.  She stared at her hands, deep in thought.  Chris had told her she had taken about eight years of lessons, but she couldn’t remember anything from memory.  Maybe she had never bothered to memorize anything.  He also had told her that she was a writer.  She hadn’t tried yet, but that kinda sounded like something she’d be into.  He had a computer and told her she was welcome to it at any time.

“Hey,” a deep voice said behind her.  She jumped a mile into the air.

“Oh!  Lance!  Hi.” 

Lance slid onto the piano bench next to her.  He and Cate had arrived at around noon.  Cate had been civil to Lara, but she could see it was with maximum effort.  “What are you doing in here?”

Lara shrugged.  “I still feel kinda on the outside with you guys. I needed some time to myself.”

“I can leave.”  Lance started to stand, but Lara pulled him back.

“No, it’s okay.”  She looked into his green eyes.  “Do you play?”

“Nah…I can fool around a bit but it’s not really my thing.  I’m more vocal than instrumental,” Lance said, chuckling a bit.  “You?”

“I took lessons…I think.”  She laughed at the absurdity of her words.  “Chris says so, anyway.  I sure as hell hope he’s trustworthy, because he’s putting all kinds of memories into my head!”

“He is, I promise.  Chris is odd, but he won’t lie to his friends.”  Lance tilted his head and looked at her.  “Are you okay?”

“As much as I can be.  Getting really sick of hearing people ask me if I’m okay, though.” Lance blushed and Lara giggled.  “Just kidding.”

“Look, Lara…I’m sorry…about how I acted.  I just…it was so odd.  I’ve never seen Chris act that way before.”

“Well, when he had his bodyguard approach me in New York, it freaked me out, too!”

“Where were you?”

“Um, just walking down the street,” Lara said truthfully.  “Thank you for the apology, Lance. It means a lot.  You’re one of Chris’ best friends and I’d hate to cause a problem.”

“Well, YOU’RE one of Chris’ best friends, too,” he reminded her.  He stood.  “I’m gonna go see what kind of trouble Joey is out there causing.  The best advice I can give is to tell you to relax.  I remember when we first started getting big…I was so young and basically a mama’s boy.  It got so crazy, and I finally learned to just take it one second at a time.”

“Thanks, Lance,” Lara said, smiling at him.  He walked out of the house and Lara laid her head on the piano, exhausted by all the mysteries and open spaces still empty in her mind.

 

Lara spent the next week talking with Chris, trying to comb the recesses of her darkened mind.  Some days were better than others…she would come up with things on her own, totally out of the blue.  Other times, Chris had to sit with her and tell her things, slowly pulling memories out of her head. 

She spent the rest of her time with the NSYNC Girlfriends, as she had come to call them.  She got to know them and they soon accepted her, though Cate was still distant.  She didn’t seem to trust Lara, and still acted as if Lara was below them all. 

The Girls were going to a movie the afternoon before they all returned to their respective hometowns.  Lara still hadn’t come to a decision about where she wanted to go, and Chris told her she could stay in his home as long as she wanted, even if he had to go somewhere else for the group.  She was thinking about this as she dug around under her bed for her sandals.

“Hey,” Julie said from the doorway.  “Ready?”

“Almost.  Sorry I’m running late.”  Lara grabbed the sandals triumphantly.

“It’s okay.  Melissa is always late anyway.”  Julie sat on a chair.  “I’m gonna miss you, Lara.”

“Oh, Jules.”  Lara went over and hugged Julie.  “You’re practically like family to me.  I’m gonna miss you, too.”

“Going back to New York?”

“I still don’t know…” Lara hedged.  “I need to call Allan.”

“Oh, GOD, not this again.”  Julie rolled her eyes.  “Lara, you DO realize that he is way wrong for you, right?  I mean, he’s nothing.  NO ONE.”

“He pretty much kept me alive, Julie!”  Lara snapped.  “He’s all I know right now beside Chris.  I have to give him the benefit of the doubt.”

“If he was so wonderful, Lara, why the HELL did he have you working the streets?”  Julie yelled back.

“Anyone home?”  They heard Crystal yell downstairs.  Chris was with the other guys at Joey’s house.

“Be right there!” Julie yelled back.  “Lara, think about it.  You owe him nothing.  You are someone totally different than what he led you to believe.”

Lara couldn’t disagree with this.  She stood up and ran a brush through her hair.  “Let’s go.”

 

“You’re quiet,” Mari observed as the women walked to their cars after the movie.  “Everything okay?”

“It was a movie. I was SUPPOSED to be quiet,” Lara said with a smile.  Mari’s green eyes were unwavering.

“Wanna talk about it?” She asked as the others moved ahead of them.  Lara looked at Mari for a long moment. They had become good friends after Mari’s initial iciness, but she still didn’t feel like she could tell anyone.  The truth was too awful.

“Everything’s fine…I promise.”

“I’m hungry,” Crystal announced.

“God, you are as bad as Joey!” Cate said.  Crystal smacked her.

“Let’s go surprise the guys and get them to take us out for a late lunch,” Melissa suggested.

“VERY good idea.  I like the “take us out” part best,” Mari said.  Crystal, Lara and Julie drove in Julie’s car, while the others went in Cate’s car.

“So, Lara, will you go back to New York now?”  Crystal asked.  Julie glanced at Lara.  She knew Lara was still unsure about her next step.

“I’m not sure,” Lara said cautiously. “I might go back to Pennsylvania…I need to see my family…though I’m scared shitless to do it.  What do I tell them?”

“The truth,” Julie said gently.  “You had amnesia and…”

“And I STILL don’t know what happened when I got it,” Lara finished.  “Nope.  I need a more complete story before I can face them.”

Julie sighed but said nothing.

 

“No…I think that part should go HERE,” Chris said, shoving JC aside at the piano and playing a simple melody.  “It sounds much better there…after the chorus.”

“Chris, we change keys there,” Justin pointed out.  “It doesn’t flow with the mood of the song.

“But it DOES add to it when we put in THIS part.”  Chris played some more.

“Chris, listen…that part is good, but not right here,” Lance said gently.

“Fuck you, Lance.  You wouldn’t know a song from a hole in the ground if it wasn’t for us,” Chris snapped.

“Whoa, Chris, relax,” Joey said softly, placing a hand on the older man’s arm.  Chris shook it off.

“What?  I’m right, aren’t I?  The only reason he’s IN this damn group is because we needed a lower voice.  Otherwise he’d still be in backwater Mississippi singing to the swamp rats.”

Lance slowly stood.  “Before this gets ugly, I’m outta here.”  He strode from the room.

“Well, ugly just left!”  Chris shouted after him.  The other three stared at him.  “What?”

 

The women chattered as they pulled into Joey’s driveway.  They got out of their cars and started up the walk, Crystal in the lead.  She was almost run over when a very angry Lance came flying out the door. 

“Whoa, Lance, careful!”  Crystal said, grabbing onto Lara so she wouldn’t fall.

“Sorry,” he muttered, striding down the sidewalk and down the street.  Cate hurried after him.  The other women watched as she tried to put her arms around him and he pushed her away.  He spoke to her sharply and kept walking.  Cate watched him leave, then slowly came up the sidewalk. She glared at Julie.

“Your man is a prick,” she snapped.

“Hey,” Julie said in surprise. “Chill, Cate.”

“I need to know what’s going on here.”  Cate brushed past them and went inside.  The other girlfriends eagerly followed.  Lara sat down on the front porch, knowing her place was NOT inside.

 

“That was just wrong, Chris, and you know it,” Joey was saying angrily as the girls went down to the studio.

“I couldn’t help it…it’s true.”

“You don’t think that way, Chris. I know you,” JC said quietly.  “You’re upset about something else.”

“Is it Lara?” Justin asked.  The girls froze on the stairs, quickly checking to see if Lara was with them.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he grumbled. 

“Hey,” Cate said, pushing her way into the studio.  “What the HELL happened in here?  Lance is pissed.”

“Chris said some things that weren’t very nice,” Justin said.  Cate glared at Chris and opened her mouth.

“No.  Cate, I don’t want to hear it.”  Chris went down the hall to the tiny bathroom and locked himself in.  Julie sighed.

“Sorry.  I’ll talk to him.”  She went down and pounded on the door.  “Sweetie? It’s me.”

She heard silence, then a click as the door was unlocked.  She let herself in and locked the door behind her.  Chris was sitting on the edge of the sink.  “Don’t preach at me.”

“I wasn’t going to,” Julie said, her brown eyes huge.  “Wanna talk about it?”

“Lance was being an ass, trying to tell ME how to write songs.  What the hell does HE know about writing?”

“You’re gonna miss her, aren’t you?” 

“Of COURSE I’m gonna miss her!  She’s my best friend and…” Chris realized how swiftly Julie had brought the conversation around to the true subject.  He smiled at her.  “You’re a wench,” he said affectionately.  “I’m worried, Jules.  What if she goes back…back to him…back to what she was doing when I met her?”

“Lara’s an intelligent woman, Chris.  She knew nothing else but that life when you saw her…now she knows the truth. She won’t let herself be led back to that.”

“I’m afraid for her,” Chris said softly.  He sat on the closed toilet seat and placed his head on her stomach, wrapping his arms around her waist.  She gently stroked his hair, saying nothing.

 

Lara knew that Joey lived on a quiet block of houses that made a long rectangle.  She decided to walk.  She was surprised when she walked about three houses down and saw Lance sitting on a bench in someone’s front yard. “Um, do you know these people?”

“No,” Lance said with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes.  “But I’m sure they won’t mind if I cop a squat here.”

“Can I cop with you?”

“Sure.”  He moved to the side and Lara sat down.  She squinted at the sky.

“Is it ALWAYS sunny here?”

“No.  Some days it rains…occasionally…”

“I swear it seems to rain EVERY day in New York…or maybe it was just my life.”  Lara stared at her sandals.  “I’m sorry if Chris hurt your feelings.  I’ve been putting him through hell lately.”

“You?”  Lance was surprised.

“I’ve been drilling the hell out of his mind, looking for the life I used to know and don’t remember.  It’s so fucking stressful sometimes!”  Lara said, clenching her fists in frustration. “And he’s bearing the burden of living his past AND mine until I can remember it all.  He probably took it out on you.  I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”  Lance took her hand and unclenched the fingers.  “You must mean a lot to him.”

“I guess I do,” she said with a small smile.  “Nice to know I mean something to someone.”

“I’m sure you mean something to your family…and wasn’t there anyone in New York you were close to?”

Lara thought of Allan.  “Not close, exactly…dependent on.”

Lance’s eyes were very green as she looked at them. “You going back there?”

“I don’t know,” she whispered, tears filling her eyes.  “I don’t know anything.”

“Shh…don’t cry.”  Lance put an arm around her and placed her head on his shoulder.  “Something will work out…it will all be fine.”

Lara cried on his shoulder for about ten minutes, finally winding down to sniffles.  “I thought you were an asshole,” she said finally, and she felt Lance chuckle.

“And I thought you were a money-grubbing tramp.”  He gave her shoulder a squeeze. “C’mon.  Let’s go back so I can apologize to Cate and receive Chris’ groveling apology.”  He stood and reached for her hand to help her up.  She obediently followed behind him, thinking,

“Well, you have the tramp part right.”

 

The group congregated in the airport, saying goodbye as the girls went to their various gates.  They were all leaving around the same time, except for Cate.  She was getting a flight out the next day.  Lara sat on a chair, watching with tears in her eyes as the guys said goodbye.  She hated good-byes.

Crystal was the first to break away. She gave Joey one last fierce hug and trotted off to her gate.  Melissa finally pulled away from JC and went the other direction.  Mari gave Justin a passionate kiss, then came over to Lara.  “You take care, okay?  And call if you want.  You have my number.”

Lara nodded.  “Thanks, Mari.”

Julie snuggled close to Chris.  “Sure you can’t come along?”

“Sure you can’t stay?”

This was the normal parting ritual.  Doing something silly like this made it easier.  “I’ll call when I’m home.”  She went over and hugged Lara.  “I’m gonna miss you, girl.  Let me know when you get to wherever you’re going.”

“I will,” Lara promised.  Chris threw an arm around her as Julie slowly trudged off to her gate.  “You okay?” She asked Chris.

“Yeah,” he said with a sigh.  “It’s hard.  We’ve done it a hundred times, but goodbye is still hard.”

“I’m hungry,” Joey announced.  Six pair of eyes turned to stare at him.  “What?  I am?” He tried to smile, then grew serious. “Actually, I’m not.  I just eat when I’m depressed.”

“Aww.” Lara went over and hugged him.

“Actually, Joey, you eat ALL the time,” Lance pointed out, and everyone laughed, even Joey.

“C’mon, let’s go.  I feel like making omelets,” Chris announced.  Lara wrinkled her nose.  “Except for you, Weirdo.  I’ll make you pancakes.”  Lara jumped up onto his back and he piggybacked her out to the parking lot.

“What’s going on there?”  Cate asked Lance as they followed everyone out to their cars.

“Nothing.  They’re friends.”  Lance looked at Cate strangely.  “Why?”

“They seem awful close to just be friends.  I mean, like, physically.  Always playing and touching each other.”

                Lance shook his head.  Cate was really odd when it came to Lara.  “Cate, they’re best friends.  Quit seeing things that aren’t there.”

“I just don’t trust her, Lance.  She just WORMED her way in here, and you guys all fall over her like she’s some kind of charity case.”

Lance stopped walking.  “Cate, I love you.  Love you to death.  But you’ve become this…bitch…that I don’t even know.  What’s your problem?”

“I miss you, Lance,” she said sadly.  “Lately when we’re together you’re not even there.”

“We’ll spend tonight together…just the two of us…I promise,” Lance said.

“I hope so…because it’s getting harder and harder for me,” Cate said softly.  “I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t, sweetheart.” Lance kissed her forehead.

 

“You don’t like eggs?” Justin asked Lara.  She pretended to gag.

“No.  They are nasty and a half.”  She looked at Chris, who was busy making omelets and flipping pancakes.  “Chris, can I make a long distance call?”

Chris froze and slowly turned around.  “Sure?  Calling home?”

“Um…yeah…” Lara said softly.  His smile brightened the room.

“Good. Use the phone in the den.”

“Okay.”  Lara left the kitchen, ruffling Justin’s curls as she went by.  She walked down the hall to the den and picked up the phone. After taking a deep breath, she dialed an all too familiar number.

“Yo, this is way too early!”

“Allan, it’s Lara.”

 

Cate excused herself from the kitchen to use the bathroom.  She walked past the den and froze at the urgency in Lara’s voice.  She listened outside the door.

“No…Allan…I need to talk to you.  I’ll be flying to New York in a few days.  No, I won’t be coming back to work.  That’s not who I am and I know that now.”  Lara listened for a moment. “Don’t call me that.  I’m not a whore.  I know I’m not.  I have a life and a family and friends.  I wasn’t always a whore, no matter what you tried to tell me.” Cate swallowed a gasp.  “I need to know the truth, Allan. I need to know when and where you found me and why you made up these lies to keep me working the streets just so you could make extra cash.  I loved you, Allan!”

Cate backed away from the door, unable to keep from smiling. This was good.  Too good.  This was something to save for just the right time.

 

Around lunchtime everyone started to leave.  Lara and Chris were soon alone in the large house.  They put on their bathing suits and went out to the pool.  Chris floated around on a raft while Lara sat on the steps in the shallow end.

They chitchatted about things, about their families, about the group.  Chris was happy to see how close Lara had gotten to his friends.  After the initial iciness, she and Lance had hit it off and had spent a lot of the morning joking around and teasing each other.  She also seemed to get along well with Justin.  Chris himself had groveled to Lance the day before, just as Lance had predicted.  He felt awful for the words he had said, but Lance knew that he hadn’t meant them.

“Hey, Chris?”  Lara called.  Chris’ raft was dancing back and forth near the diving board.

“Yeah?”  Chris said drowsily.  The afternoon sun was lulling him into a nice catnap.

“Did you and I ever have sex?”

A loud splash shook the backyard as Chris fell of his raft into the pool.  He surfaced, sputtering and choking.  He grabbed the raft and swam to the shallow end.  He stood in front of her, shock making his brown eyes enormous.  “Excuse me?”

“Did you and I ever make love?”  Lara’s eyes were serious.  “I remember us kissing a few times, but I don’t remember us ever doing more.”

“Trust me, you’d remember it if we had,” Chris said, looking slightly offended.  “When you were fifteen and I was sixteen we tried dating for a bit.  Everyone thought we should hook up, so we tried it.  We kissed a few times, made out seriously like ONCE, but then we realized that we were better off as friends.”

“I see.”  Chris sat down next to her, and she giggled.  “I’m sorry I made you fall off your raft.”

“It’s okay. I was falling asleep out there anyway.”  Chris reached over and took her hand.

“So, we made out, huh?”  Lara’s blue eyes danced with amusement.

“Yep. We did.  In the backseat of…”

“Your mom’s car,” Lara finished.  “It was red, right?”

“Yes, it was.”  Chris couldn’t help but smile.  She got so excited when she remembered something.

“It was summer…I had on denim shorts and a purple cropped tshirt,” Lara gazed out at the water.  “You didn’t have a shirt on, but you had on these cut-off jeans.  You were the first boy I ever kissed.”

“WHAT?”  Chris’ mouth fell open. “You told me you kissed Ben Lerner on his birthday!”

“I did…on the cheek.”  Lara blushed.

“You lied to me.”

“You felt me up,” she said accusingly.  “You told me you just wanted to kiss me and next thing I know you’re grabbing my chest through my shirt.”

“I was sixteen!  What did you expect?” Chris exclaimed.  Lara’s laughter echoed around the pool.  “I can’t believe you lied to me. I thought you kissed him A LOT, or I never would have done that to you.” 

“What do you mean?”  Lara was amazed by the guilt in Chris’ eyes.  He shrugged.

“I lured you into the backseat because I thought you had like, you know, made out before.  I never would do anything to hurt you.”

“Oh, Chris.”  She reached up and placed a hand on his cheek. She leaned forward and gently placed her lips on his.  “I know.  You’ve always been my knight in shining armor.”  She stood.  “And I know I’d remember having sex with you…I still remember how those kisses made me feel.” She went into the house, leaving him staring after her.

 

“Oh…Cate…holy FUCK…” Lance panted as she slowly lowered herself down onto his cock.  “Don’t…tease me…please…”

“What?”  Cate asked innocently, her eyes sparkling as she slowly moved up and down on him.  “I’m just…”

“Stop it!”  Lance barked.  He grabbed her waist and began to slam up into her.  She moaned and threw her head back, raking her nails down his chest.  His long fingers caressed her breasts before one hand snaked down to rub her clit.

“Lancey…oh…baby…yes…” Cate’s whole body shuddered as she came.  Lance growled and flipped her over, pounding into her for a few more times before spurting inside of her.  He rolled to his back and she snuggled against him.  “I love you, Lance.”

“Mm…you too, baby.”  He closed his eyes and sighed.  “I’m sorry you have to go tomorrow.”

“Me too. I hate it.”  Cate got up and put on a robe.  “I’m gonna take a shower.”

“Hey, Cate?  After I take you to the airport, I’ll be going to Chris’.  We’ll be working there tomorrow.”

“I see.”  Cate went into the bedroom and then poked her head back out.  “Hey, it’s good you’ll be there.  Chris will need you guys, since Lara’s going back soon.”

“Really?”  Lance tried to act uninterested.  Lara hadn’t mentioned it at all in their conversations that day.

“Yes.  I overheard her on the phone.  She’s going back,” Cate said, already bored with the conversation.  “Wanna shower with me?”

“I’ll be right in,” Lance promised.  Cate went into the bathroom and Lance stared at the ceiling, wondering why he even cared when Lara was leaving.

 

“Hey, guys,” Lara said with a smile, opening Chris’ front door.  “Chris is already down in the studio.”

“Already?”  JC mumbled. It was ten-thirty and he was NOT into being up this early during his supposed time off.

“He’s been down there for an hour now.  Says he has something new he wants to run by you,” she said with a smile.  “I put an extra pillow on the sofa though.”

“Thanks,” JC said gratefully.  The others said hi as they went by her.

“Cate get out okay?”  Lara asked Lance politely.  He nodded, amazed by the sadness in her blue eyes.

“Are YOU okay?”  He stopped walking and took her hand.  She froze.

“Um, yeah.  Going home and all.  Kinda scary.”

“I guess,” he said with a smile. He squeezed her hand.  “Good luck.”

“Thank you,” she said softly. He continued to hold her hand and she continued to let him.  Lance looked down and slowly released her fingers.  “Go on downstairs,” she whispered.  “Tell them I’ll bring lunch down around noon.”

“Okay,” he said just as softly.  He paused then continued down the hall.  Lara watched him walk, curious about the swirl of emotions that had been floating through his beautiful green eyes.

 

“Lunchtime!”  Lara announced, carefully carrying a huge tray down the narrow stairs.  “How’s everything going?”

“Better now.  I’m STARVING,” Joey said.  Lara laughed.

“That’s why I made THREE sandwiches for you, Piglet.”  She passed out plates piled high with sandwiches.  Bottled water and iced tea also was passed around.

“Dammit, you need to stay. I could use a maid,” Chris said, playfully swatting at her backside.

“Screw you.  You couldn’t pay me enough to keep after your messy ass,” she retorted, bending down and kissing his forehead.  This gave Chris a perfect view down her tanktop.  He blushed and looked up at her.  She blushed and pulled back.  “Um, sorry.”

“No problem,” he said weakly.

“Well, if everyone is okay here…I’m gonna go pack until it’s time for dessert.”

“Dessert?”  Justin’s ears poked up.

“I know for a fact that right this second there is a chocolate cake in the oven,” Chris confided.  “And that there is a batch of peanut butter icing ready to go on top.”

“Oh, yum,” JC said, his mouth watering.

“LATER,” she scolded. “If even one piece of that cake is broken off, you guys are in DEEP shit,” she snapped.  She started up the stairs.  “Oh, Chris?  The downstairs bathroom is backed up again.”

“DAMMIT!” Chris growled.  “I have called that damn plumber three times this week already. Okay,” he sighed.  “Everyone use the upstairs john, please.”

Lara laughed as he continued to grumble on his way back to the piano, sandwich in hand.  She returned upstairs and went to the guestroom she had been using.  She looked around it slowly, wanting to remember every square inch of it.  She had a feeling she wouldn’t be seeing it again.

Lara opened the suitcase Chris had given her, and slowly began to fill it with clothing.  She needed to take everything she had, and though it wasn’t much the suitcase soon began to fill.  Lara sat on the edge of the bed and sighed, a framed picture in her hand.  Julie had taken it the day before.  It was actually a collage of pictures.  The four corners were pictures of her and Chris, but the center was a picture of Lara and NSYNC.  The five guys were seated on a sofa, and she was stretched across their laps, giggling.  Her head was on Chris’ lap, and then next to him were Lance, Justin, JC, with Joey at the end tickling her bare feet.  Tears fell onto the glass before she knew what was happening.  Lara set the picture aside and allowed the sobs to fill her body.  She hated to leave.  She loved being with Chris, loved rediscovering herself.  But she needed to go back to New York, needed to find out why Allan had made her into the person she had thought was the real her.  She couldn’t tell Chris she was going to New York, or he’d insist on coming along.  And she couldn’t allow that.  Allan would do something awful to him, she just knew it.

“Hey,” a voice said from the door.  Lara looked up.

“Lance, just go away.  What are you doing up here, anyway?”  Lara wiped her nose on the back of her hand.  Lance ignored her request and sat down next to her. 

“I needed to go to the bathroom.  Tell me what’s wrong.  Is it going home?”

“Yes,” Lara sighed, allowing Lance to put an arm around her.  “I’m so scared.  I’m afraid I’ll find out things that I don’t want to know.”

“This is your family, Lara.  They love you.  They’ll be so excited to see you after all this time.”

“Maybe not,” Lara said, and Lance was shocked by the pure fear in her voice.  He turned to face her and cupped her face in his long hands.

“You can do this, Lara. You can do it.  You are brave and strong and beautiful and you are capable of facing this.  Look how far you’ve come already.”

“You…you think I’m beautiful?”  Lara whispered.  Lance slowly nodded.

“Even when I was being an asshole, I thought you were beautiful.  Maybe that was one of the reasons why I was being an asshole…I was so damned attracted to you and didn’t want to be.  I couldn’t put my finger on it and I hated it.”

“Lance, I…”

“Shh.”  Lance leaned forward and placed his lips against hers.  Lara moaned and put her hands on his shoulders to steady herself.  Their tongues slowly tangled, then she finally pulled back.

“Lance…I…” Words wouldn’t form correctly.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.  I’m sorry.”  Lance jumped to his feet.  “I should get back.  I’m sorry.”

“No, Lance, I’M sorry,” she whispered.  He shook his head at her.

“I kissed you. Not your fault.”  He slipped out of the room and hurried down the steps.  Lara fell back onto the bed, more confused than ever.

 

Chris leaned in the doorway of the guestroom Lara had been occupying.  “Almost packed?”

“Yeah,” she sighed, sitting on top of the suitcase to get it zipped.  “You’ve been so generous I can hardly close the damn thing.”  Chris walked over and helped her zip the suitcase closed.  “I left that out for dinner. I figured it would apply anywhere you wanted to go.” Lara nodded at the dress hanging on the back of the closet door.

“Not necessary.  We’re staying in for dinner,” Chris told her.  Lara looked at him curiously. This was her last night in Florida, and she figured he’d want to go out.

“But I…”

“Nope. Staying in.  I’m cooking something special and we are gonna spend this last night just hanging out.  That’s okay, right?”  Chris looked at her anxiously.  She smiled.

“Sounds wonderful.  I’m hungry already.”

“Good.” Chris was relieved.  “You just relax and I’ll go start dinner, okay?”

“Okay. I think I’ll take a bath.”  Lara grabbed her robe and a book and headed for the bathroom.

Chris went down to the kitchen and started pawing through cabinets for the pots and pans he needed.  He wanted to make an Italian pasta and chicken recipe of his mom’s, as well as garlic bread and a salad.  He was elbow deep in tomato sauce when the phone rang.  “Okay, this better be damn good,” he snapped. “I am busy.”

“Hello, Chris,” Lance said.

“Hey, Lancey, can I call you back? I’m in the middle of something.”  Chris frowned at the ingredients on the counter in front of him.

“Well, I just wanted to ask if you wanted me to come with you to the airport tomorrow. I thought it might go easier if you weren’t alone.”

Chris thought for a moment. This was out of the blue.  “Well, um, sure, Lance. Now that I think of it, it WILL be easier for me.  And I know Lara won’t mind, since you and she are getting along now.”

“Yeah, we’re getting along all right,” Lance said weakly.  “So, what time should I be there?”

“We’re leaving for the airport at ten, so be here around quarter till, okay?”

“Sure thing. See you tomorrow.”

 

Lance hung up the phone as he tried to figure out why the HELL he wanted to go to the airport with Chris and Lara.  Yes, he wanted to be there for Chris, but there were other reasons.  He wanted to see her one last time…wanted to say goodbye at the very end.  Lance fell onto his sofa and sighed, the portable phone still in his hand. He stared at it moodily.  Ever since he had kissed Lara, he had been beyond confused.  He loved Cate, at least he THOUGHT he did, but Lara dominated his thoughts.  He couldn’t put his finger on it. There was something wounded about her that he wanted to protect.  Even though he had hated the idea of her at the beginning, as he got to know her he realized that she was not the money-hungry bitch he had first assumed her to be.  And he hated being proved wrong like that. It embarrassed him.

The phone in his hand rang, making him jump. “Hello?”

“Lance, baby! It’s me!”

“Hello, Cate.”  Guilt ran through Lance like an electric current.

“Guess what guess what guess what?”  Words flew from Cate’s mouth in her joyous excitement.  “I have to do a shoot at the Animal Kingdom so I’ll be back in town in two weeks!  Isn’t that awesome?”

“Awesome,” Lance repeated.

“Well, don’t get TOO excited…wouldn’t want you to break out in a sweat or anything,” Cate snapped.

“I’m sorry, Cate,” Lance said tiredly.  “It was such a shock, that’s all. It’s great.  I can’t wait to see you.”

“Me either, Lance.  Well, I have to go.  Long distance and all. But I love you!”

“I’m sorry…Cate…the connection is bad…I’ll talk to you later!”  Lance hung up the phone before Cate could reply.  He couldn’t lie to her and say he loved her, because for the first time in months he wasn’t sure if he did.

 

“Oh, wow, Chris, that was INCREDIBLE!”  Lara pushed back her plate with a sigh. “I’m stuffed.  But…have I eaten this before?”

Chris smiled with satisfaction.  He had hoped she would remember.  “Yes.  My mom made it all the time.  Every year on my birthday.”

“I thought so.  And this is just as good as I remembered it.”  Lara glanced at the clock.  “Only eight.  Man…I know I’m NEVER gonna sleep tonight.”

“Excited about going home?”

“Yeah,” she said absently.  Part of her screamed to tell Chris the truth, but the rest of her shut that part away.  She couldn’t involve him, couldn’t endanger him.  “Now what?  Go out to a movie, rent a movie, go for a walk?”

“Nope.” Chris stood and took her hand.  “Come here.”

He led her into the living room and stood her in the middle of the floor.  “I feel like the Farmer in the Dell,” she giggled.  Chris raised an eyebrow and went to the stereo.

“Lance loaned me this CD.”  Chris didn’t notice Lara stiffen at the mention of his name.  “Actually, he loaned it to me a while back and I was gonna return it to him but then I heard this song, and decided you needed to hear it as I danced with you.”

“DANCED with me?” Lara repeated.

“The last time you danced with me was at your senior prom.  That doofus dumped you the week before…”

“And you filled in as my date,” she finished.  “You always WERE my knight in shining armor, Chris. I owe you so much.”

“Dance with me and it will be considered paid in full,” Chris told her, pushing play on the stereo and walking over to her. Lara laid her head on his shoulder and sighed.

Garth Brooks’ soft voice soon filled the room. “Well, you and I, we’re buddies and we’ve been since we first met…me and you, well, we’ve sure been through our share of laughter and regret…” Lara smiled.  “Lord knows we’ve had our bad days…and more than once we’ve disagreed, but you’ve always been a friend to me.”  Lara tightened her grip on Chris’ shoulders, trying to fight the tears.

“You can be so stubborn…there’s times I think you just like to fight…and I hope and pray I live to see a day, when you say I might be right…and there’s times I’d rather kill you than listen to your honesty…but you’ve always been a friend to me.”  It was too late now.  Sobs flowed through her body and they stopped dancing.  Chris held her and occasionally kissed her head.  “You’ve always been time and again the one to take my hand…and show me it’s okay to be just the way I am, with no apology…oh you’ve always been…and you will, till God knows when…yes, you’ve always been a friend to me…”

Chris tilted Lara’s face up to look at him.  “No apologies,” he whispered. “You have nothing to apologize for. You are wonderful and strong and no matter what, I am here for you, okay?” She nodded.  He bent down his head and gave her a brotherly kiss on the lips, then wrapped his arms around her once more as she tucked herself against his chest.  This was harder than both of them had ever expected.

 

Lance pulled into Chris’ driveway at nine-forty the next morning.  He sat for five minutes, staring at Chris’ front door and wondering for the tenth time what the hell he was doing there.  He hadn’t been able to sleep the night before; dueling thoughts of Lara and Cate kept flying through his mind.  He sighed and got out of the car.

As he raised his hand to ring the doorbell, the door flew open.  Lara screamed when she saw him.  “OhmyGod! Lance, I’m so sorry! You startled me!” She said, laughing. “I was coming out for the newspaper.  Chris said I could take it on the plane with me.  What are YOU doing here?”

“I…uh…I came here to go with you. I mean, to go with Chris.  To the airport,” Lance stammered, playing with the zipper on his leather jacket.  “I thought he could use the support.”

“Oh, that’s so sweet,” Lara whispered, trying not to stare at him.  He looked so good in simple blue jeans, a red tshirt and the brown jacket.  “I mean, come on in.  Chris has coffee in the kitchen if you want some. He’ll be down in a minute.  He’s running late.”  Lara walked past Lance to get the newspaper.  Lance looked at her over his shoulder.  She wore tight black jeans and a button-down blue denim shirt that was knotted at her waist.  As she bent down for the paper, he swallowed deeply and hurried to the kitchen.  Chris was already pouring a cup of coffee.

“Hey, Lansten.”  He handed Lance the cup and got another one for himself.

“Thank you.  All ready?”

“No,” Chris admitted. “This is fucking KILLING me.  I hate to see her go. I want to go with her.  I want to help her.  But I think the best thing is for her to face all this alone.  She knows where I am if she needs me.”

“You’re a good friend,” Lance told him. He wondered if he could be honest with Chris about his confusion.  “Hey, Chris, I was wondering if…”

“You’re sure I can take this?”  Lara bounced back into the kitchen.  Chris watched Lance watching Lara. 

“Um, sure, Lara.  I’m sure I don’t want to know what the news is, anyway,” Chris said.  She giggled.

“I’m gonna go drag down my suitcases.”

“I can’t believe you have that much stuff,” Chris told her.

“I can’t believe you bought it all for me,” she shot back.  He laughed.

“Touché.”

“I’ll get them for you,” Lance volunteered.  “Gotta earn my coffee.”

“Thanks, Lance,” Lara said, smiling at him as he stood.  “I was in the blue guestroom.”

“Okay.” Lance walked out of the kitchen, Lara following his every move.  Chris sighed.  This wasn’t good.

“You okay?”  Chris walked over and hugged her. 

“Yeah, I’m just gonna miss living in the lap of luxury, that’s all,” she said with a sunny grin.

“Lap of luxury?”  Chris looked around the messy kitchen.  “This may be like the armpit of luxury but not the lap.”  Lara laughed out loud and hugged him hard.

“I’m gonna miss you, Chris.”

“Just a phone call away, girl. Always.”

 

Lance insisted on sitting in the back with Lara’s bags, so she could sit in front with Chris. This way, he figured, he could observe her unnoticed.  Maybe he could figure out what this strange obsession was and get over it. He had a girlfriend, Cate.  He loved Cate…he was sure…maybe.

Chris tried not to smirk as he watched Lance in the rearview mirror.  Lance continued to make idle chitchat, but his green eyes watched Lara constantly.  This was aided by the fact that anytime she spoke to him, she turned around in her seat to look at him.  Lance would slightly jump, startled that he might have been caught looking, but she seemed not to notice.  Chris heaved a sigh.  He and Lance needed to talk after they dropped Lara off.

Lara was grateful for the conversation that filled the car. This way she could look at Lance all she wanted, drinking in every bit of him.  She knew they would never happen…he was way too good for what she had become. She was just grateful he was her friend.  She was sure that the kiss he had given her was one of pity…he had a girlfriend and that was that.

Chris parked in short-term parking and helped Lance carry Lara’s bags to a skycap.  They checked her in outside and she turned to them. “The flight doesn’t leave for about twenty-five minutes.  You guys can go.”

“No way. We’re gonna stay here until your cute booty is on that plane,” Chris informed her.  Lara’s blue eyes were sad.

“Chris, I really wish you’d go. I can’t…I’ll be better if you don’t stay,” she whispered.  “It will be easier.”

“Okay, if you’re sure.”  Chris glanced a few feet down the sidewalk.  “Oh, look, a quarter!”  He shouted, hurrying away.  This left Lara and Lance alone.  She looked at him uncertainly.

“Have a safe trip,” Lance said, holding out his hand.  She took it, shaking it slightly.

“Thank you.  Good luck on the new album…tour…management company…whatever,” she said with a trembling smile.

“Thanks,” he said.  They both glanced at Chris, who was arguing with a ten-year old boy over who found the quarter first.  Lance pulled Lara’s hand until she was in his arms.  He reached up, cupped her face in his hands, and gave her a hard passionate kiss.  “Goodbye,” he said.  He kissed her one last time and went back to the car.  Lara stood watching him, open mouthed.

“Damn kids,” Chris snapped, flipping the quarter into the air triumphantly.  “Hey, where’s Lance?”

“In the kiss…I mean, he went to the car,” Lara said quickly.

“Okay.”  Chris looked down at her.  “I’m gonna miss you, ya brat.”

“Everything bratty I learned from you,” she retorted, poking him in the stomach.  He hugged her long and hard. 

“Call when you get there?”

“I will,” she promised.  He kissed her forehead. 

“Go.  Go before I make you stay.”

“Okay.”  She picked up her backpack, kissed his cheek, and went into the airport without looking back. Chris sighed and headed for his car.

Lara hid in a corner, watching Chris go to his car.  When she saw the car head for the exit, she went to the ticket counter to change her ticket.  “Yes, I’d like to change this from Pittsburgh to LaGuardia in New York, please?”

 

Lara went right from the airport to a clean but cheap motel near Allan’s apartment.  Chris had given her money for an emergency, and it was enough to keep her sheltered until she could figure out what to do.  She knew Allan would be home; he normally was out with his ‘girls’ in the late evening.  As she walked through his neighborhood, she politely said hello to people she knew. She no longer felt comfortable in these surroundings, and it was hard for her to believe that just a few short weeks before this was the only world she knew.

“Well, looky here…hey baby…” One of the bums who slept on the street swatted at her backside.

“Knock it off!” Lara said angrily, wiping the dirt from the back of her jeans.  She pulled her coat closer around her body and trotted up the steps of Allan’s apartment.  She pushed the buzzer.

“Yeah?” A voice said sharply.

“Allan, it’s me.  It’s Lara.”

“Who?”

“I mean, Volandra.”

“Hey, baby!  Come on up!”  He buzzed her in and she slowly entered the building.  As she climbed the steps to his second floor apartment she shivered.  She was scared to death of many things.  She was scared of Allan in general, but she was also afraid of any information he might have for her about her past, about all the things she couldn’t remember.

She knocked on his door and it quickly swung open.  “Oh.  Hello, Brittany,” Lara said coldly.  Brittany’s heavily made up eyes fluttered as she gave Lara a simpering smile.

“Volandra!  What a surprise!”  Brittany pranced out of the way to let the older girl in.  “Guess what?  I work your corner and now I live here!”

“Brit, get us something to drink and don’t hurry up, okay?”  Allan sauntered in from the bedroom, tying a robe around his naked body. 

“Sure, Allan!”  Brittany chirped.  She sashayed into the kitchen.

“Is she even legal?”  Lara asked.

“Is it any of your fucking business?”  Allan lit a cigarette and exhaled. He sat on a chair.  “Sit?”

“No, I don’t plan on being here that long,” Lara told him, leaning against the wall.

Allan looked her over.  “You look good.  A lot better than you did last time I saw you.”

“Last time you saw me I had the flu, not to mention the fact you were busy punching me.”

“Hey, baby, it’s only cuz I love ya.”  Allan smiled at her.  “Ready to grovel for your job.”

“No.  I don’t need my job. I have another life now…one I’ve always had but didn’t know about.”  Lara glared at him.  “Wanna tell me what the hell happened?”

“I don’t gotta tell you shit, girl!”  Allan stood and shoved his finger in Lara’s face.  “You work for me.  End of story.”

“Not anymore, Allan. I’m done with you, done with this, done with all of it.  I have a family and friends and a lot more than this…shit.”  Lara looked around in disgust.  “Are you gonna tell me what the hell happened or not?”

Allan shrugged.  “No big deal.  I was out one night buying some dope when there was a robbery at the bar on the corner.  Dudes ran out.  You were walking on the sidewalk, still have no clue why, and one of them ran into you. You fell and cracked your head on the sidewalk.  Cops came and I needed to do something fast.  I made like I was with you and they bought it. Never searched me so the dope was safe.  You didn’t know who the hell you were or who I was, so when I told you the story you believed me.  Two days later you were on the corner.”

Lara turned white.  “You mean…you just told me I was a whore and…I believed you?”

“Sure.  I told you you was one of my best girls and for a while you were…till ya got sick.  Now I got girls like Brit who can make me some money.”  Allan eyed her carefully.  “But you look good.  Gained weight, you gotta tan, I could make a bundle off you now.”

“Sorry, Allan.  My days turning tricks are THROUGH.”  Lara stood.  “Thanks for the information.”  She went to the door and opened it, gasping at the large man on the other side.

“Pete, glad you could make it.”  Allan came to move Lara from the doorway.  “Volandra…this is Pete. I called him when you called me. Figured you’d try to run.”

“I’m not running,” she whispered.  “And my name is Lara, dammit!”

“Volandra, Lara, whatever.  Anyway, I can’t have you going to the cops and squawking, so Pete here is gonna take good care of you until you’re ready to get back on the street.”

“Allan, I’m not fucking working for you again!”  Lara shrieked.  She caught sight of Brittany in the doorway from the kitchen, her mouth a large O.

Pete grabbed her arm. “I say you are.  In a few days you’ll back making money.  You owe me, girlie, and I intend to collect.”  A piece of cloth covered Lara’s face. She tried not to breathe but finally she had to inhale, and the one breath was the last thing she remembered.

Ten Days Later

 

“Hey, baby.”  Julie gave Chris a passionate hug and a kiss as soon as she walked out of the airport gate.  “Miss me?”

“Like I’d miss breathing.” Chris held Julie close, inhaling her perfume and just enjoying the fact that she was back for a week.  “I’m so glad you’re here.  I can’t believe you could get away.”

“Well, the conductor quit and they’re interviewing new ones.  It could take weeks.  Musicians are so temperamental,” she said with a grin.  “I’m glad to see you, too, Chris.”

He pulled her tight against him as they walked out to his car.  “How long can you stay?  Forever?”

“Eight days,” she reminded him.  Julie waited until they were in the car before asking, “How are you?”

“Bad,” Chris said honestly.  “She hasn’t called.”

“Baby, she’s fine.  She’s getting settled in up there.  If her family is as close as you say, they’re falling all over her and just loving her.  She probably can’t even get two seconds to herself,” Julie told him. He sighed.

“You’re right.  They are a great family.  I’m just worried.  I really thought Lara would call when she got there.”

“She’ll call, baby. She hasn’t forgotten you.”

 

“Ya know, I am REAL sick of your attitude,” Allan said with a sigh, leaning against the doorframe of the bedroom where Lara was being held.  One slim wrist was chained to the frame of the bed.  “I feed you, I’m giving you a place to stay, and you’re still being a fucking bitch.”

“I want out of here, Allan,” Lara said dully.  “I’m not working for you.  I have money and I have family, and I want to go home.”

“Sweetheart, when you gonna realize that the only way you’re getting out of this room is when you go back to work?”  Allan sat on the edge of the bed.  Lara inched away.  He reached up and touched the large bruise on her cheek.  “Fighting Pete again, were we?”

“He grosses me out.”

                “Volandra, baby, he’s gonna be your first customer.  For free.  And he’s getting impatient.  He might have to try you out right here on this bed if you don’t start behaving.  I can’t hold him back forever.”

“If he even touches me I will kill him…kill myself,” Lara said bravely.  Allan sighed.

“This isn’t a state of mind that’s gonna get us any money, Sugar.  You need to think positive.  They’re just men…just dicks…”

“And as you told me before I’m just another whore…why can’t you just let me go and replace me?”  This was a thought that had run through Lara’s mind a hundred times when she couldn’t sleep at night.

“Because you’re MY whore, girlie.  You do what I say. I say you get your skanky ass back out on the street and earn me some fucking money!”  Allan’s voice rose to a scream.  “I’ll put it to you this way.  If you don’t clean up your act by…oh…the day after tomorrow…I’m letting Pete loose on you.  I’ll make sure I’m out of town for, let’s see, two or three days, and he can do whatever he wants to you.  You’ll need a week or so to heal after that…I mean, hell, you won’t even be able to walk, and then you’ll just go out on the street anyway.”

“You wouldn’t.”  Lara’s face grew white.  Allan gave her an evil leer.

“Oh, yes, Sugar, I would.”

 

The next day, Julie was sunning herself by the pool while Chris furiously did laps.  He was in a constant bad mood, and even she was having a hard time putting up with him.  Lance had stopped by to drop off some tracks of music, and Chris had been downright rude.  Julie had tried to apologize.

“It’s okay, Jules,” Lance said with a half-smile.  “He’s worried about her.  I…I mean, we’re all worried.”

Julie noticed the slip. “How’s Cate,” she said innocently.

“She’s good.  Um, she’ll be in next week,” he said, fidgeting.  “Well, I have to go,” he said quickly.  “Please call me if you hear anything, okay?”

“Sure, Lance.”

Julie sat by the pool and remembered the look in Lance’s eyes when she had mentioned Cate.  The green orbs had swam with confusion.  He was torn, that was obvious.  Torn between Lara and Cate.  Julie wondered what had happened, if anything, before Lara had returned home. 

“Feel better?”  She asked Chris as he got out of the pool.

“No.”  He grabbed a towel from the back of a chair and dried his face.

“Look, Chris, call, for fuck’s sake. I am sick of your childish behavior!”  Julie snapped. 

“Maybe I will!  I mean, we were so nice to her, and she just blows us off,” Chris said angrily.  Julie handed him her cellphone without a word.  He sighed and yanked it from her hand.  He slowly dialed a number he had not used in years.

“Hello?”

“Hi, ma’am. Um, this is Chris.  Chris Kirkpatrick.”

“Chris?  Oh my goodness I haven’t heard from you in forever!”  Lara’s mother said cheerfully.  “How are you?”

“Good, ma’am. Hey, listen.  Could I talk to Lara?  She hasn’t called and I’m worried.”

There was a stony silence on the other end of the phone.  “This isn’t funny, Christopher.”

“I’m not playing a joke, ma’am.”

“Lara hasn’t been here in years.  You know that.”

“Ma’am, I know, but she…”

“And I would appreciate you not calling me again if you’re going to be this cruel.”

“Ma’am, wait.  You mean she isn’t there?”

“Of course not,” Lara’s mother snapped and hung up the phone.

Julie stared at Chris.  “What?”

“She’s not there…hasn’t been there…”

 

“Oh, baby, I’ve missed you so much!”  Cate covered Lance with kisses when she got off the plane.  Lance gently pushed her away.

“It’s good to see you, too, Cate.” He picked up her carryon bag and led her through the airport to the private parking area.  A few fans stopped him for autographs, but other than that she had to run to keep up with him.

“Are you okay, Lancey?”

“Yeah.  I’m fine.”  He held the car door for her and she slid into the passenger seat.

“No, you’re not.  What’s up?”

“There are a bunch of things, and I think we need to say them now.”  Lance turned in his seat and really looked at her.  Cate’s face was pale, and her blue eyes were huge.  “Cate, you are an amazing woman, and the time we’ve had together has just been incredible.  I just…I feel that we’ve grown apart.”

“Lance, where the hell is this coming from?”  Cate whispered.

“I still love you, and I always will.  I just don’t know if I’m IN love with you anymore.  I’ve had some time to think…and I think this is what I want.”

Cate shook her head.  “I cannot believe this.  Why didn’t you tell me this BEFORE I flew all this way?”

“I thought you had to come for work.”

“I DID.  But I pushed to get this particular job because it brought me closer to you.”  Tears streamed down her face.  Lance felt miserable.

“Cate, I’m sorry.  I needed to be honest with you.”  He reached across the seat to hold her hand but she snatched it away.

“Drive.  Find me a hotel.”

“Cate, you can still stay with me. A hotel would be crazy.  Why spend the money?”  Lance put the car into drive.

“No.  The company can pay for it.  It will be closer to the job anyway.”  Cate sat in stony silence, staring out the window.

“Another thing…I need to go over to Chris’.  Do you mind?  I was gonna ask you to go with me.”

“Whatever.  What’s up now?”

“Well, it’s the first time the five of us have all been in town for a while, and there’s a…crisis,” Lance said finally.  It was hard for him to discuss it, especially with Cate.  When Chris had called and told him that Lara hadn’t made it to Pennsylvania, Lance’s heart had fallen into his shoes.  “Joey was in Ohio with Crys, and Justin recently got back from visiting Mari.”

“What’s the crisis?” Cate turned her head to look at him.  Lance nervously tapped his fingers on the steering wheel.

“Um, well…Chris is really upset, as you can imagine.” Lance stopped at a red light and looked Cate in the eye.  “Lara’s missing.”

 

“Hi, Cate,” Chris said with a sigh as he opened his front door.  “Hey, Lance.  Julie and the guys are in the den.”  He led the way down the hall.

“Hi, Julie!” Cate said, hugging her friend.  “Didn’t expect to see you here.”

“My vacation got extended,” Julie said sadly, looking at Chris.  He was deep in conversation with Lance and JC.  “He’s been so miserable.”

“What exactly happened?”  Cate wanted to know. 

“Well, we dropped her at the airport, and she had a flight to Pittsburgh.  Apparently she never made it home.  Chris called her mom twice and talked to her, and once he convinced her that Lara was really alive and had been planning on coming home, her mom told him that she was never there.  So now, of course, he’s about hysterical.  This was last week.”

“Maybe she took the money and ran,” Joey suggested.  Chris and Lance both glared at him.  “No, not like that.  I mean, you gave her money, right?  Maybe she freaked at seeing her family after so long and went on a vacation.  Maybe she felt ashamed to tell you she freaked, and just didn’t call.”

“That’s a possibility, honey,” Julie said, walking over to Chris and rubbing his back.  “Maybe she’s just away somewhere.”

“Maybe not.”  Chris got up and paced.  “I just…I dunno…I feel like something’s wrong.  We were always so tight, we used to say we could read each other’s thoughts…and the vibe I’m getting isn’t good.”

Cate watched Chris pace, feeling very sorry for him.  She wanted to tell him that Lara was probably in New York…then she looked at Lance.  Lance was sitting and staring at his shoelaces, his knee bouncing anxiously.  He looked more than just concerned with Chris and how he was feeling.  Cate got angry.

“Is THIS why?  Is this why you dumped me?”

Everyone stared.  “Cate, this isn’t the time or the place,” Lance said gently.

“Fuck the time or place.  I cannot believe this.  You dumped me because you are in love with HER…with the whore.”

“Lara’s NOT a whore, Cate,” Lance snapped before he thought. 

“You dumped her?”  Joey was confused.

“Yes.  Just now.  At the airport.  And she IS a whore.  Isn’t she?  ISN’T SHE?”  Cate yelled at Chris.  Everyone looked at he and Julie.  Julie squeezed his hand and nodded.

“Yes, she is…was…” Chris corrected himself.  “When I found her in New York she was working a street corner.”

“You broke up with me…the one who loves you so much…for a whore?  I cannot believe you, Lance,” Cate said, sobbing.  “Fine.  You know what? I don’t give a shit.  Go.  Go find her. She’s in New York.”

Julie gasped.  “Cate, how do you know all this?”

“I overheard her on the phone before she left.  She was talking to some guy and told him she was coming back and she needed to talk to him.”

“Oh, God.  Allan,” Chris whispered.

“Her pimp?”  Cate asked, and Julie nodded.

“The one who hit her before we left New York,” Julie said softly.

“Okay. I’m going.  I’m gonna find her.”  Chris hurried out of the room.  Julie followed him.

“Honey, maybe you could call the police. I’m sure they could…”

“Those kind of people don’t want to be found, Julie.  They hide well.”  He grabbed his wallet and car keys from the kitchen table. 

“Chris, don’t.  You’re no match for these kind of people,” Julie begged.  “Do you even remember where you saw her?”

“No. But Dennis was with me, and Dennis is in New York right now,” Chris said, referring to his bodyguard.  “I’ll call him and he can help me. I can’t just leave her up there, Jules!”

“I know, baby.”  Julie hugged him tight.

“I’m going with you,” Lance announced.

“What?”  Cate almost screamed.

“Cate, thank you for telling us. I appreciate it.”  Chris gave her a hug and ran out the front door.

“Cate, we’ll talk later.  Get one of the guys to drive you back to my place.  You have a key.” Lance quickly kissed Cate’s forehead and ran after Chris.

 

“This better be damned important!” A low voice growled.  “It’s dinnertime!”

“Dennis, it’s Chris.”

“Damn you, Chris, you know better than to call my cell at dinnertime!”

“I know, Dennis, and I’m sorry.  Me and Lance are in New York and we need your help.”

“At dinnertime?”

Chris sighed.  ‘Remember the…uh…girl…you helped me pick up a few weeks back?”

“Yeah, the ho.”

Lance, who was listening with his head near Chris’, winced.  “Okay, well, she really WAS the person I was looking for.  She got her memory back and everything. Anyway, she’s missing, and I think she may be back in that neighborhood.”

“Chris, maybe she WANTS to be back there.”

Lance grabbed the phone.  “Look, Dennis, pack some dinner to go and get your fat ass into the city NOW, dammit.  We need you!”

Dennis was silent.  Chris was silent.  Chris stared at Lance, mouth open.  No one yelled at Dennis.  No one swore at Dennis. Least of all Lance.  Dennis was twice Lance’s size.  “Okay.  But I can’t guarantee anything. It was that crazy cab driver that got us lost there in the first place.”

“Thanks, Dennis.  Thanks a lot,” Lance replied gratefully.  “We’re in room three seventeen at the Plaza.”  Lance hit “end” and handed Chris his cellphone.  Lance stretched out on the sofa while Chris remained standing.

“Um, what’s going on?”

“What do you mean?”  Lance asked innocently.

“You dumped Cate.”

“We’ve decided to go our separate ways, yes,” Lance hedged.

“She thinks you’re in love with Lara.”

“Yeah, that’s what she thinks.”

Chris leaned over and grabbed Lance by the tshirt, pulling him to a sitting position.  “ARE you?”

“I…well…I don’t know,” Lance stammered. “I mean, I hardly know her.”

Chris slowly released his friend and sat beside him. ‘Talk to me.”

Lance decided to be brutally honest.  “At first I didn’t even like Lara.  Nothing personal, I just didn’t trust her.  You were so excited about it and I was afraid she was snowing you…screwing you over.  Then I saw how the girls were treating her, and I felt sorry for her.  She got her memory back and I realized that she WAS who you thought she was all along. I got to know her and…” Lance shrugged.

“Does she feel the same way?”

“I don’t know,” Lance said truthfully.

“Does she know how you feel?”

“Well, when she kissed me, I…”

“She KISSED you?”  Chris shouted.

“Well, no, I guess I kissed her.  And…”

“YOU kissed Lara?”

“Chris, please calm down.”  Lance couldn’t believe how upset Chris was getting.

“I can’t calm down. You’re after my best friend!”

“Your best friend who is a grown woman,” Lance reminded him gently.

“Yeah, but this is different,” Chris snapped. “She needs someone to look after her, especially after all this.”

“For God’s sake, Chris, I don’t know how she feels. I was pretty shitty to her in the beginning…for all I know she could hate me,” Lance said, exasperated.

“Doubtful,” Chris growled.  “Especially if she let you kiss her.”

“Chris, can I ask you a question?”  Lance said softly.  Chris nodded. “Is she really…I mean, was Cate right? Is she a…um…”

“A prostitute?” Chris finished.  Lance winced at the word.  Chris nodded.  “Yes. She WAS.  But I know she’s not now. She’d never go back to all that.  She knows now that it’s not her true life…and she wouldn’t go back.”

 

Lara paced back and forth on the corner, shivering slightly in the cold. She wore a short green skirt that barely covered her thong underwear.  High-heeled shoes matched the skirt.  Under her short leather jacket she wore a white and green cropped shirt.  Her hair was teased high and she was absolutely furious.  Allan knew this wasn’t her style, yet he did it anyway.  She’d wear the skimpy clothes, but the hair and makeup were understated.  Not this time.  Her fifth night out and he was making her dress this way yet again.  After the threat of Pete, Lara had seriously started to rethink her situation.  Pete was large and Pete was dirty and Pete had not an ounce of compassion in him.  Lara truly believed Allan when he said she wouldn’t walk for a week if Pete was allowed to have his way with her.  So she decided to take Allan up on his offer.  She’d work for a few weeks, and while she worked she would devise a way to escape.

The only problem was…there was no possible way to escape.  She knew Pete was following her, at Allan’s request.  He would lurk in doorways and across the street, watching as she got into cars or brought men back to the room Allan kept for her.  There was no way out of his reach.  Each day brought Lara further and further down into depression. This was her future.  She knew her real name, real life story, yet she couldn’t have it.  She would be Volandra forever, or at least until she was too old to turn tricks.  Then Allan would put her out to pasture and she’d probably starve to death.

She couldn’t call Chris, for two main reasons.  Number one, she knew that if she called him, he would come to New York and Pete would probably kill him.  Secondly, she was too ashamed.  She couldn’t bear for him to see her like this, and this time he wouldn’t be able to keep it from the others.  They would all know…Justin, JC, Joey…and Lance.  Lara couldn’t get Lance out of her head.  She never let her customers kiss her, but when they were doing what they paid her to allow them to do, she closed her eyes and imagined bright green eyes, a crooked smile, and short blond hair.  He’d never want anything to do with her again.

“Hey, cutie, how much?”  A young man yelled from a passing car.

“Too much for you!”  She shouted.  The man laughed and his car flew by.  Lara sighed.  Tourists.  Underage tourists.  A nicer car pulled up and slowed, and she looked at it with half-hearted interest.  The interest grew as she saw the man had blond hair.  “Hey there, sexy,” she said with a grin.

“Hey yourself.  Looking for a good time?”

“Depends.  What kinda time you looking for?”

“I got a hundred.”

“Park and follow me.”  She stood and waited as the man parked his car.  He was about forty-five and had a decent build.  She might even be able to pretend to enjoy this.  She led him up to her apartment.

 

“You don’t want us to go NOW, do you?”  Dennis asked as soon as Lance opened the door.  “It’s dark out!”

“Um, Dennis, how the hell else are we gonna find her?”  Chris wanted to know.  “A strange vehicle driving around in broad daylight will definitely cause suspicion.”

“Okay,” Dennis sighed.  “I got us a car downstairs. Let’s roll.”  Lance and Chris grabbed their coats and followed Dennis out of the suite.

“I appreciate this, Dennis,” Chris said as they headed for the garage.

“You’d better,” Dennis grumbled, though everyone knew he would do just about anything for Chris.  “Lance, why are you here?”

“I…uh…” Lance stammered, not sure what to answer.

“Moral support,” Chris said quickly.  “Lance is a good friend like that.”

“Uh-huh,” Dennis replied.

They spent the next hour driving through run down neighborhoods and up and down dark streets.  Nothing looked familiar.  Lance drove while the other two looked out the windows.  “Hey, Den, doesn’t that Spot Deli look familiar?”  Chris wanted to know.

“Um…wait a minute…it does…you bitched that we drove by it so many times you knew the menu,” Dennis replied.  “Lance, pull up there.”  Dennis pointed to a space on a side alley.  Chris hopped out before Dennis could stop him.  “Chris, get your ass back here!”

“No. I need to look.  I’ll knock on doors if I have to,” Chris protested.

“I’ll go to the other side,” Lance said.  “There are some businesses over there.  Maybe someone knows her.”

“She went by Volandra here,” Chris said.  He looked at Lance.  “And they’ll know she was a…um…”

“Got it,” Lance interrupted.  Dennis grabbed them both before they could take a step.

“She got dark hair, right?” They both nodded.  Dennis motioned to an apartment building two doors down.  Chris and Lance watched as Lara walked down the steps and up the street.

 

Chris and Lance began to walk after her, trying not to run.  “Lara!”  Chris hissed.  Lara turned her head and her eyes widened.  She turned back around and walked faster. “Lara!”

Lance finally caught up to her and grabbed her by the arm, whirling her around.  “Lara, it’s us!”

“I’m sorry, you have me mistaken for someone else,” she replied, yanking her arm from his grasp.  “My name is Volandra.”

Chris gasped.  Could this be true?  Could she have been snowing him the entire time?  Had she been lying all along?  The street was dark, but he could see her eyes dart around the street. “Lara, it’s me, Chris.  What’s going on? Why did you come back here?”

“Look, Mister, I have no clue what you’re talking about.  If you wanna call me by some other name, you gotta pay.”  She tapped her foot impatiently.  “Interested?”

“I do NOT believe this!”  Chris said.  “Lara…”

“Later.” She began to walk up the street. 

“Wait!”  Lance ran after her and grabbed her by the arm.  He swallowed deeply and forced himself to ask, “How much?”

“How long?”

“All night.”

“WHAT?”  Chris yelled.

“Shut up, Chris,” Lance snapped.  “How much for all night?”

She looked from one to the other.  “For the two of you?  A thousand.”

“You’re crazy,” Chris said, shaking his head.  For a moment he forgot who he was talking to.  “There’s no way…”

“Done.”  Lance opened his wallet and peeled out five one hundred dollar bills.  “Here’s mine…he’ll give his when we’re inside.”

“Okay.”  She grabbed the money and stuck it in her jacket pocket.  “Follow me.  The big guy stays outside though.”

“Why?”  Chris demanded.

“You’re paying for two, not three.  Sorry, big guy.”  She sashayed back to her building and went up the steps. “C’mon.”

“You’re insane,” Chris muttered to Lance.

“Just come on,” Lance said.  “Dennis, wait in the car?”

“Okay,” Dennis grumbled, slowly walking back to the car.

She led them up a flight of steps to a small apartment.  There was one room plus a bathroom.  The one room was small, and a nightstand and bed were the only pieces of furniture in the room.  She flicked a switch on the wall and a light bulb hung from the ceiling bathed the room in light.  She pulled the shade down in front of the one window in the room.  “Okay,” she said, turning around.  Lance and Chris gasped at the large bruise on her cheek.

“Lara…Volandra…” Chris stammered.

“Chris, of course it’s me.  I couldn’t just say that, though!”  Lara exclaimed.  She looked into his eyes.  “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, baby.”  He pulled her into his arms and she sobbed on his chest.  Lance sat on the edge of the small bed.  “What are YOU doing here?”

“I came back to talk to Allan…to find out what the story was…and he wouldn’t let me go.”  Tears streamed down her cheeks as Chris held her.  “He WON’T let me go.  He said no one leaves him…and so I work…and he has someone watching me.”

“THAT’S why you wanted us up here!” Chris finally realized.  Lance rolled his eyes.

“And they think it’s only the blonds that are dumb?”

Lara seemed to see Lance for the first time.  “Why are you here?”

“I wanted to help Chris find you,” he said softly.  She turned back to Chris.

“How in the world did you think to come up here?”

“Cate overheard you on a phone call and said that you were coming back…so we had Dennis help us find the street where I met you the first time,” Chris told her.  “Why don’t you lay down and get some sleep, Sweetie?  Let me and Lance think about a way to get you out of this.”

“There is no way out,” Lara said morosely.  “Pete watches me all the time.  Every night, all night.”

“He’s gotta sleep sometime,” Chris said.  “Come on, honey, please.”  Lara sighed but laid down on the bed.  Chris covered her with the thin blanket and stroked her hair until she fell asleep.  Chris looked at Lance.

“We need to get her out of here,” he whispered.  Chris nodded.

“I know.  But how?”

“Daytime.  That guy probably lets her go so she can sleep.  We’ll follow her back to where she stays and sneak her out once he’s gone.”

“We need to tell Dennis.”

“I’ll go.  You stay with her.”  Lance pulled his coat back on and went outside.

 

When Lara woke up at eight the next morning she found herself snuggled between Lance and Chris.  Each had a protective arm around her.  Chris was behind her, and her face was pressed tight against Lance’s chest.  She yawned and stretched.  The men woke immediately.  Lara grabbed Chris’ wrist and checked his watch.

“I need to go.”  She jumped up and pulled her shoes on.  “No one ever stays much past eight if they stay the night at all.”  She kissed Lance’s cheek, then Chris’.  “Thanks for coming up here, but you’d better go.”

The men stared at her.  “Lara, we’re not leaving here without you!” Chris said.

“That’s right. We came up here to get you, and you’re coming back with us,” Lance added.

“You guys are crazy. Pete’s a maniac.  A killer.  He won’t let you take me.  Allan has him on a short leash.”  Lara’s hopes raised but quickly fell. There was no way Lance and Chris could save her from Allan and Pete.

“You need to go home now, right?  We’ll follow at a safe distance and when the big bully leaves you can come with us,” Chris said.

“Chris, this is too dangerous. I…”

“Lara, I am NOT leaving this city without you, is that clear?  Dennis already has plane tickets for the three of us to go back to Florida, and you’re going!”  Chris almost shouted.  “I finally found you after all these years.  I won’t lose you again.”

Lara looked at him for a long moment.  “Okay,” she said finally.  She wrote down his address on a matchbook she had in her purse.  “Just in case.  You guys leave first and I’ll leave in about twenty minutes.”  She looked at Chris sorrowfully. “I…um…I need your money.   Pete will collect it when I get downstairs.”

“Oh.  Okay.” Chris handed her all the money in his wallet.  “Get a bag packed as quick as you can.”

“I don’t have much.  Allan took all the clothes you gave me,” Lara said softly.  Chris kissed her forehead. 

“I’ll buy you more.  Let’s go, Lance.”

Lance sent a comforting look in Lara’s direction, then followed Chris out the door.  Dennis was waiting in the car.  He took off up the block, heading for Lara’s apartment.  They parked around the corner and waited.  A half-hour later Pete and Lara came up the street.  She went in the building and Pete went across the street to a parked car.  He got in and drove away.  Fifteen minutes later Lara was hurrying out of her apartment lugging a duffel bag behind her.  “Just the necessities,” she said breathlessly as she tumbled into the backseat.  “You need to go.  Now.  Allan has eyes everywhere, and I wouldn’t put it past him to send someone after us, chasing us onto the plane.”  Fear was plain on her face.  Dennis put the car into gear and hurried towards the airport.

“Relax, baby.  You’ll be okay,” Chris said, putting an arm around her.

“I’ll believe that when we’re in the air,” Lara said nervously.

Dennis drove at breakneck speed, dodging in and out of traffic.  He arrived at the airport ten minutes before their flight was to board.  “Thank you, Dennis.”  Chris gave the bodyguard a hug.

“What if he comes after you?  What if…” Lara began.  Dennis smiled at her.

“Don’t you worry, missy.  I have four younger brothers as big as me,” he told her.

Lance hugged him as well.  Dennis returned to his car as the others ran through the airport.

 

Lara fastened her seatbelt and looked around the first class cabin worriedly.  “Lara, there’s no one after us.  We’re safe,” Chris said soothingly.  Lance sat across the aisle from them.

“I’m not sure.  I can’t be sure.  I’ll feel safe when we’re back in Florida,” Lara told him.  She ignored Lance and looked out the window.

“Um…are all your clothes like that?”  Chris asked, his eyes flicking down to her short leather skirt and low-cut red blouse.

“Unfortunately.”  She gave him a wry smile.  “Kinda like the first time we met, huh?”

“Here.”  Lance dug into his carryon and came out with sweatpants and a tshirt.  “I’m sorry these are kinda crummy, but it’s all I have. I always pack a set of comfy clothes in case something happens to my luggage.”

Lara hesitated before taking them.  “Thank you,” she whispered. “I’ll change once we’re in the air.”  She clenched the armrests tightly and stared out the window until the ground was far below them.  She carefully stepped past Chris and headed for the restroom.

“Thank God.”  Chris leaned his head back and closed his eyes.  Lance sent up his own prayer of thanks, then got on his cellphone to call Justin.  As the stewardess came around, Chris ordered a cup of tea for Lara, and beer for himself and Lance.  He needed it after their crazy morning.

“I’m back,” Lara said, returning to her seat with her shoes in her hand.  She dug in her duffel and pulled out a pair of sandals. 

“Where are you clothes?”  Chris asked.

“In the trash,” she told him.

“I got you tea,” he said as the stewardess approached.

“Thank you,” Lara said, accepting the steaming cup gratefully.  Lance took his beer but continued to talk on the phone.

“Do you want to stay with me?”  Chris asked her.  “I mean, if you would rather stay with Lance, I…”

“Why would I want to do that?”  Lara asked.

“Well, he said…I thought…”

“I want to stay with you, Chris. I have no interest in staying with Lance.”

“Um, okay.”  Chris decided not to question her further.  He asked the stewardess for a pillow and blanket, and soon Lara was sleeping with her head on his lap.  He traced the bruise on her cheek with his fingers and sighed.

 

Lance hung up his phone and looked over at Chris and Lara.  He wished with all his might that it was HIS lap she was sleeping on. He wanted to be the one to protect her, to help erase the memories of this nightmare from her mind.  He sighed as he watched Chris stroke Lara’s face.

 

Justin was waiting at the airport in Orlando.  “Hi there,” he said to Lara.  She only looked at him.  “Um, okay.  Let’s roll.”  He held the door open and she crawled across the backseat to sit by the door.  Chris climbed in after her and Lance sat up front.  “Where to?”

“Might as well drop me off first,” Lance said, glancing in the rearview mirror.  Lara sullenly stared out the window, still exhausted.  She had only spoken to him when he asked her questions, and even then her replies were curt.  He had no clue what was going on, and he didn’t feel it was right to push the point further.  He and Justin and Chris made small talk on the drive to his house, and none of them tried to incorporate Lara into the conversation.  Justin swerved into Lance’s driveway.

“Lance, thanks.  Thanks for everything,” Chris said, leaning forward to shake Lance’s hand. 

“No problem.”  Lance glanced at Lara, who finally took her eyes from the window.

“See you,” she whispered.

“Yeah.  See you.  Later, Justin.”  Lance grabbed his carryon bag and got out of the car.  Lara watched him walk up his sidewalk and heaved a deep sigh.

“Can we go home now?”  Her blue eyes turned to Chris.

“Sure.  Hit it, Jeeves.”

“Don’t make me smack you,” Justin growled, putting the car into reverse.

 

“So, are you hungry?”  Chris asked as he and Lara entered his house.

“Not really,” she said softly. “I think I’ll take a bath.”

“Sounds good.  I’m gonna call Julie.  If you felt up to it, we could run into town, get you some clothes and stuff,” he suggested.  Lara nodded slowly.

“Okay.”

“Hey.  Come here, please.”  Chris enveloped her in his arms and she sighed against his chest.  “You’re safe. I won’t let Allan get near you ever again, okay?”  He felt her nod and released her.  “Go soak.”  He watched Lara slowly go up the steps and then he went to call Julie.

 

Lara sank into the hot water with a sigh, enjoying the way it seemed to relax her stiff muscles.  She closed her eyes, half afraid that she would see Pete’s face before her. Instead, she saw the concerned green eyes of Lance Bass, and she began to sob.

 

Chris stared at the phone.  He was seated alone in his study, and had been for the last hour.  Lara was swimming laps in the pool.  She had been back in his house for almost a week, and he could probably count the words she had spoken on one hand.  Her external bruises had healed, and he had gathered from her that neither Allan nor the brutish Pete had assaulted her sexually, but inside she had withdrawn into a shell.  She didn’t smile, she answered brief questions, but otherwise she kept to herself.  Julie had called almost every day, and while Lara would come to the phone, she wouldn’t hold much of a conversation.  She ate what she had to, but otherwise she spent her time in or around the pool if the weather was good, and in front of a television she didn’t really watch on the days when the weather was cool.  Chris sighed and reached for the phone.

“Hey.”

“Lance, it’s Chris.”

“Chris, hi.”  Lance was surprised.  No one had heard from Chris in the week since Lara’s return, and they all figured he was getting her settled back in.  “How’s it going?”

“Fine.  Just fine.  Well, not fine at all,” Chris finally admitted. “Would you like to have lunch, Lance?  My treat.”

“Sure. Is…um…is Lara coming?”

“No, just me, if that’s okay.”

“Of course,” Lance said quickly.  “Come pick me up?”

“Okay.  I’ll be there in about twenty minutes.”  Chris hung up and wandered out to the pool.  “Lara.”

“Yes?”  She hung onto the side of the pool and panted for breath.

“Can you dry off and come inside?  I need to go out for a while and there’s something I want to give you.”

“Um, okay.”  Lara pulled her slender body out of the pool and dried off quickly, wrapping the towel around her waist.  Chris put an arm around her shoulder affectionately but she shrank away.  He sighed and walked ahead of her up the steps to the second floor.  “What is it?”

“Here.”  He opened the door to the guestroom she occupied.  “I bought you this.”

“A computer?”  Lara stared at the new computer desk and the computer that sat on top.

“Yes.  State of the art.  I also got you these.”  He opened a drawer and showed her the case of ten floppy disks.

“I don’t understand.” 

Chris took Lara by the hand and led her to the bed.  “Sit down a second.”  He sat beside her.  “You can’t talk to me or don’t want to or something.  Whatever.  One thing I do know. You were always best at getting your feelings down on paper.  This is the same thing.  I won’t look at it, and you don’t have to show it to me if you don’t want to.  But I think you should at least try.”

“Chris, I don’t need…”

“But you DO need,” Chris said, looking into the face of his best friend.  “Lara, I love you and I’m worried about you. I don’t know why you feel you can’t talk to me, or what the problems are that you can’t share with anyone.  There are many people who care about you…but if you can’t open up, that’s fine.  Open up here.  Maybe you can sort through some things.” He stood and kissed her forehead. “I’m meeting a friend for lunch. I should be back around two, okay?”  She nodded.  “I’ll see you later.”  Chris didn’t look back as he left the room.  Lara remained on the bed, staring at the grey computer monitor.

 

Lance and Chris made small talk as they drove to a small deli, but the conversation died after they had placed their order.  Lance’s green eyes studied Chris carefully.  His friend looked tired, and Lance was thankful that they were still on their vacation.  “Why did you want to meet me for lunch?”

“I want you to tell me everything that happened between you and Lara before you left.”

“Chris, I…I told you it all when we went to New York.”

“No. I want it all again.  Honestly.”

“Honestly?”  Lance took a sip of his water.  “I’m not sure WHAT happened.  Like I said, I didn’t like her. Then, that day when you went off on me, she found me and we talked for a bit.  Kinda bonded.  Then when we dropped her at the airport, we kissed. That’s really all.”

“Okay.”  Chris stared off into space.

“Why?”

“I’m so worried,” Chris admitted. “I don’t know what to do about Lara.  She’s just…not there.”

“Chris, she was practically kidnapped.”

“It’s not that. I expect her to have some issues from that.  But this…” Chris waved his hand in the air.  His eyes were uncharacteristically serious.  “She’s just so withdrawn. If it was just that whole thing with Allan, she’d open up to me about it. I know it.  But now…I can’t reach her, Lance, and it kills me.”  Chris’ eyes dropped to his napkin.

“God, Chris, I’m so sorry. I wish I could do something.”  Lance desperately wished he could help his friend.  He cared for Lara, and had hoped something could happen between them.

“You could talk to her,” Chris suggested in a small voice.  Lance sighed and shook his head.

“If she won’t talk to you, there is no way in hell she’d talk to me.  After all that happened we still hardly know each other.  Will she talk to Julie?”  Chris shook his head.  “Well, shit…” Lance trailed off, trying to think of a solution.

 

Lara showered and put on a pair of shorts and a sports bra.  She turned on the radio and sat down in front of the computer.  She turned it on and watched the monitor come to life.  As the computer warmed up, she couldn’t help but smile at the picture of she and Chris that he had placed as the wallpaper.  She chose a blank disk and slipped it into the drive.  Lara opened the Word program and stared at the white screen. She tapped out a few words, then her fingers began to furiously fly over the keyboard. It had been a long time since she had sat down to write, but it felt as if she had just written yesterday.

“Hey…anyone home?”  Lara heard JC call. She stretched and looked at the clock on the monitor.  She had been writing for almost forty minutes.

“Up here!”  She yelled, hitting save and closing down Word.  JC poked his head into her room.

“Okay if I come in?”

“Sure.”  Lara moved to sit on the bed and JC flopped down next to her.

“Where’s Chris?”

“Out to lunch with someone,” Lara said vaguely.

“Left you all alone?”  JC asked.  She shrugged.

“I like alone.”

“Well, we like you and we’re glad you’re back,” JC said.  “Chris is so much more bearable now that you’re here.”

“Really?”

“Yep.  He was a nightmare when he realized you hadn’t gone home.”

“Home,” Lara repeatedly faintly, and JC studied her curiously.

“I know we’re not that close, Lara, but why DIDN’T you go home?”

“I couldn’t,” she whispered.  “I needed to find out why…why I became a…”

“Prostitute?” JC answered quietly, and she nodded, a tear slipping down her cheek. For some reason it was very easy to talk to JC.

“And then Allan wouldn’t let me go, and I thought that maybe…maybe it was where I belonged. It was all I knew…and I almost began to think that this down here was all a dream.”

“Lara, no one belongs in a life like that, especially if they’re held there against their will,” JC told her.  “And that’s not the person you are.”

“But it IS.”  Tears streamed down her cheeks now.  “That’s all I am.  A whore.  Chris doesn’t deserve a whore for a best friend.  And Lance…” Lara caught herself but JC noticed.

“First of all, you are NOT a whore.  That’s not WHO you are…it might have been what you did but it’s not the person inside.  And Chris, God, he loves you so damn much…and he doesn’t care about that.  He’s just thankful you’re back safe.”  JC tilted his head to the side.  “Lance?”

Lara looked into a pair of blue eyes quite similar to her own.  “I…I care about him,” she whispered.  “We…um…we were growing closer before I left.”

“That’s great,” JC said with a friendly smile.  “Lance is an awesome guy, and he always treats his girlfriends like princesses.”

“That’s just it, Josh,” Lara said sadly.  She had told him long before that she didn’t like JC, and he had given her permission to call him Josh.  “He treats them like princesses because that’s probably what they are.  He deserves someone so much better than a…”

“Do NOT say that word again, do you hear me?” JC snapped.  “Lance isn’t like that.  He won’t see you that way.”

“Josh, he and Chris saw me picking up johns. They saw me working.  I had to ask them for money to get them up into my apartment.  I AM a prostitute to them!”  Lara wailed.  “And Lance will NOT want anything to do with me.  For all I know he’s already back with Cate.”

“Trust me. He’s NOT back with Cate,” JC said.  “She came through with the information about you, but she is out of the picture.  She pretty much hates his guts right now.”

“Like he probably hates mine,” she said. 

“Girl, I want to shake you until your brains fall into place!” JC almost shouted.  “Lara, Lance isn’t like that, I swear. You need to talk to him.”

“I can’t,” she whispered.

“Then talk to Chris, okay?  He loves you so damn much,” he said.  “I promise you he will try to understand.”

“Okay,” she said, giving him a small smile.  “Thanks, Josh.”

“No problem.  Tell him I stopped by and I’ll call him later, okay?”  She nodded, and he kissed the top of her head.  When he left the room, she sighed and returned to her seat at the computer.

 

Chris sighed as he entered his house.  He felt no better after his lunch with Lance.  Neither of them could think of a way to get through to Lara.  He wandered to the kitchen, sure he would look out the window and see her doing laps yet again.  He was surprised to see that the smooth blue water of the pool was unbroken.

“Lara?”  Chris called as he jogged up the steps.  Her bedroom door was open but the room was empty. Chris began to panic.  “LARA!”  He shouted once more.  He ran down the hall to his room.  The room was empty but there was something on the bed.  Chris grabbed the disk and the note.

“Chris,” he read out loud.  “I went for a walk.  I did what you asked.  Here is the best that I can explain.  When I come back, I’ll need a hug, okay? I love you, Lara.”

Chris almost fell down the staircase as he hurried to his den.  He shoved the disk into the computer and tapped his foot impatiently as he waited for the computer to warm up.  He quickly clicked on the Word program and opened the file on the disk.

 

He’ll never look at me the same way.  Neither of them will.  One of them is the best friend I had forgotten about.  He saved me.  He made me remember everything that I had lost. He made me feel like I was something special.  Chris made me feel like I belonged somewhere.  Chris made me think I could rise beyond what I had thought was my life.

The other one…he is what I wanted my future to be.  When he smiles at me, I feel a continuous shiver through my bones.  When he touches me, I jump a mile high inside. When he kissed me, I felt as if it was the very first kiss I had ever experienced.  Lance.  So pure, so sweet, so good. 

I can’t ever be worthy of either of them.  They saw me.  They saw me take a man’s money and lead him upstairs.  They stood downstairs on the street knowing full well that I was up there fucking some guy for money.  Not because I wanted to, but because I had no choice.  If I was any kind of a respectable person, I would have said screw you to Allan and Pete and allowed Pete to just take me.  At least I could have kept my honor. So what if he fucked me til I bled.  So what if they both would have beat me. At least I had my self-respect.  But no, I did the selfish thing and gave in.  So the men I care most about got to stand downstairs and imagine everything that was happening. Then I had to ask THEM for money, just to save them from the watchful eyes of Allan’s little guard dog, Pete.  I can’t believe this.  They treated me like it was no big deal, like nothing had changed, but that’s not true. I will always be the whore now.  I’m sure that’s what Cate called me, and she’s right. 

Maybe Chris can forgive me, can look past it.  Maybe he’ll even be able to help me get past it enough to go home.  I know my family will still accept me, especially after I tell them what happened.  But Lance?  He’s a dream that will never become reality, and I will have to accept that.

 

When Lara returned to the house, Chris was sitting out front on the front step.  He slowly stood and looked at her.  He said nothing, simply opened his arms. She fell against his chest, sobbing.

One month later

 

“Who’s picking us up again?”  Lara asked as their plane landed.

“Joe, I think. I know he’s around, and I talked to him last,” Chris replied.  Lara hugged him as he unfastened his seatbelt.

“Chris, thanks so much for coming along with me.  I really appreciated it.”  She laid her head on his shoulder.

“No problem. It was great to see your mom and everyone again. I don’t go back all that much, and I really should,” Chris replied.  Chris had accompanied Lara to a tearful reunion with her family.  She had been extremely nervous, worried that they wouldn’t accept her again, but of course they had.  Having Chris along had made it so much easier.

“Well, I know Julie’s coming back this weekend to start planning the wedding, and you should be getting ready for that.”

Chris stood and grabbed her backpack from the overhead compartment.  “Lara, I will NEVER be ready for that.  We’re getting married.  Me.  Getting MARRIED. I will NEVER be completely ready.”

Lara giggled as they walked through the tunnel to the airport.  “Chris, you and Julie are MEANT to be together.  If she can put up with all your crap, she…” Lara’s step faltered and she stopped talking.

“Lance!”  Chris jogged down the tunnel and hugged his friend. “What are you doing here? I thought you were back in Mississippi at your mom’s!”

“Well, my dad caught the flu and has been extremely cranky, and I needed to get out for a while.”  Lance looked at Lara.  “Hello.”

“Hi,” she said coldly.  He offered to carry her backpack, but she strode ahead of them to the baggage carousel.

“No change, huh,” Lance said with a sigh.

“Nope. I tried talking to her about it in PA but she would only change the subject.”  Chris’ face was serious as he put a hand on Lance’s shoulder.  “She still has the stupid idea in her head that you are too good for her and that you’d never be happy with her.  I tried to tell her that you aren’t good enough for ANYONE.”

“Gee, thanks,” Lance said, making a face.  “I can’t even get her to say three words to me.  If this is how I acted at the beginning, no WONDER she hated me.  It’s been a month.”  He ran a hand through his hair.  They continued on towards the baggage area.

“Have you heard from Cate?”

“She called last week.  She’s seeing someone else in Australia, a model or something.”  Lance rolled his eyes.  “At least he’s in the same time zone.  She needs someone who can be there for her all the time.” 

“You know Julie’s PROBABLY gonna ask her to be in the wedding…you’ll probably have to walk together,” Chris said hesitantly. Lance nodded slowly.

“I know that.  We discussed it last week, and decided that we are adult enough to deal with it.”

“Good.”  Chris smiled as he saw Lara surrounded by their four suitcases.

“Took you two long enough.”  She stood and grabbed her bags.

“Give me one of those,” Lance said.

“I’m FINE, thank you,” she snapped, lugging the bags behind her.

“Here.”  Chris handed Lance HIS bags, then grabbed Lara’s.  “You are so fucking stubborn, for God’s sake.”  He started towards the parking lot with Lance by his side.  Lara stood for a moment, watching Lance walk away.  He looked as if he was losing weight, and his eyes looked like dull emeralds instead of their usual bright green.  She sighed.  This was all for the best.  He had been trying for a month, and it finally seemed like he might give up.  She frowned.  That was what she wanted…at least she THOUGHT so.

 

“JC!  Hi!”  Lara said happily.  The phone had been ringing when they entered the house, and she had run to answer it.  “How ARE you?  I missed you so much.  Yes…it was awesome.  I cried like every hour, I swear.”  She took the phone out to the back deck.

“JC?  She missed him?”  Lance couldn’t help but ask.  Chris shrugged.

“They got really close before we left.  I can’t put my finger on it, either.  Don’t worry, he’s head over heels in love with Melissa.  It’s totally platonic.”

“Okay,” Lance grumbled, lugging Chris’ suitcases up to the bedroom.  She wasn’t saying she missed HIM at all.  Lance sat down on Chris’ bed, deep in thought.  This was going way too far.  He and Lara had to talk and that was that.  “Yo, Chris!”  Lance yelled down the steps.

“Coming!”  Chris bellowed, dragging Lara’s bags behind him.  Lance grabbed one and helped Chris take them to her room.  “What’s up?”

“I need you to get the phone from Lara when she’s done.  Tell her you need to talk to JC, and then let me talk to him.”

“Okay,” Chris said curiously.

“I’m tired of this shit.  We’re gonna talk if I have to tie her up and kidnap her,” Lance growled.  Chris smiled.

“She might like that, Lancey.”

Lance faked a punch at him. “Just get the phone.”

“Okay.”  Chris trotted out of the room.  Lance looked around, sighing.  This was where Lara spent most of her time, he knew.  She had gotten back into writing, and there were piles of papers and disks on the desk.  He picked up a framed picture and smiled.  Lara was on Chris’ back and he was pretending to fall over from her weight.  She looked so happy…so beautiful.  “Here you go,” Chris said breathlessly, handing Lance the phone.  “Come talk in my room.”

“Hey, JC,” Lance said as they went to Chris’ room. “I need your help with something.  A big favor.  Can you keep a secret?”

 

“Thanks so much for this, Josh. I SO needed out of that house,” Lara said a few days later.  JC had picked her up in his convertible and they were zooming down the highway.  The day was sunny and warm, and she liked the feeling of the wind in her hair.  “Poor Julie. I mean, Chris is just being crazy about this whole wedding thing, and he needs to just settle down and be serious for five minutes.  I’m really surprised she hasn’t called the whole thing off.”  Lara laughed.  “Maybe you should have rescued HER, instead of me.”

“Who says I’m rescuing anyone?”  JC said lightly.  He glanced down at a small piece of paper in his hand.  “I can’t wait for you to see this beach, Lara. It’s secluded, like a million miles from nowhere, but just beautiful.”

“Sharks?”

“Of course not,” he insisted, and she giggled.  “Anyway, there’s this cute little bed and breakfast place, and it’s just great.”  He glanced down at the paper again as he took an exit.

“Um, Josh?  If you’ve been there before, why do you need directions?”  Lara asked.

“Oh, well…it’s been a while and I’m not sure,” he hedged. “Just enjoy the drive, okay?  We have another thirty minutes or so.”

They chatted as they drove, Lara inhaling big gulps of ocean air.  She couldn’t get enough of being so close to the beach.  Before she knew it, he was turning down a dirt road and pulling into a parking area.  She hopped out of the car.  “Oh, Josh,” she gasped.  The beach was indeed deserted, and an adorable cottage sat to their left.  “This is beautiful.”

“Why don’t you go on down to the beach?” JC suggested.  “I’m gonna stop at the restaurant and find out what they have for lunch.”

“Typical man,” she said with a grin, but obediently started down the wooden steps to the beach.  When she was almost all the way down, she realized she had left her sunglasses in the car.  She sighed and ran back up the steps.  She screamed as she saw JC driving away.  “JOSH!”  She yelled.  “Dammit, Josh, this isn’t funny!”  Lara sighed with frustration.  Damn JC and his practical jokes.  “Chris is WAY too big of a bad influence on you,” she muttered.  She sighed and went back to the beach, sure that JC would come back in about five or ten minutes.

Fifteen minutes passed with no sign of JC.  Lara frowned as she watched the waves.  He wasn’t coming back, the bastard.  She stood up and brushed off her shorts, ready to walk up to the inn and use the phone.  “Hey there,” a deep voice behind her said.

“What are YOU doing here?”  She snapped.

“I needed to talk to you,” Lance said, smiling at her.  “You look very pretty today.”

Lara glanced down at her blue shorts and matching tank top.  “Thank you,” she said coldly.  “Josh is here and…” Lance raised an eyebrow and her eyes narrowed.  “He did this on purpose? Set me up?”

“Don’t be mad at JC, Lara.  He did this because I asked him to, and because we’re worried about you.”

“Don’t worry about me. I’m fine,” she said, turning back around and looking at the ocean. Lance sighed and looked out as well.

“It’s gorgeous here, isn’t it?  I found it once when I got lost, and I try to drive up here every time I’m back in town.  The food is good, the rooms all seem to look out on the ocean, and no one knows me here except as Lance Bass, frequent customer.”

“That’s all well and good, Lance, but I want to go home.”  Lara began walking back to the steps.

“If you want a phone, they don’t have one,” he called after her.  “That’s one of the great things about this place.  Only for emergencies.”

“I’d say being here against my will is an emergency,” she snapped at him, absolutely furious.

“If you really REALLY want to go back, I’ll take you back,” he said sadly. “I just thought we could have lunch and talk.”

Lara looked at him for a long moment, the sadness in his eyes sending daggers into her heart.  “Well, I AM kinda hungry,” she admitted. His sweet smile flashed out over his face.

“Excellent.  Their seafood platters are amazing.”  He held out his hand and she unwillingly took it.

 

Lance was right, the lunch was excellent.  An elderly man and his wife prepared the food, and she served their food with a sweet smile that seemed to envelop them both.  She suggested they have coffee on the sunporch after their meal and Lance immediately accepted.

The woman carried in a beautiful china coffee set and left it on a table.  She smiled at them both as she closed the door behind her.  Lara poured a cup for Lance and handed it to him, then poured a cup for herself. She curled up on a chair and looked out at the beach.  “So what do you want to talk about?”

“About what happened before you left and why we can’t get back to that place,” Lance replied without looking at her.  Lara looked at him sharply but his eyes were focused on his coffee as he stirred in the sugar.

“Lance, look, I don’t know about you, but that kiss didn’t mean anything to me. It was a goodbye kiss from one friend to another,” Lara lied through her teeth.  Lance’s cup slammed against the saucer as he sat it down on a table.

“Bullshit.  You felt it and I know it.  You felt it and I felt it.  We were getting to know each other and become friends, and then the kiss…hell, it floored me and I could tell you felt something, too.”

“Lance, don’t,” Lara said, tears filling her blue eyes.  “It can’t work out between us and we should just accept it.”

“I’m not accepting anything, Lara, except you saying you’ll try again with me.  The only reason you have NOT to try is some stupid idea that you’re not good enough for me.”

“Josh told you,” Lara whispered.

“No, Josh didn’t.  Chris did.  But I’m not a total idiot…I would have figured it out sooner or later.”  Lance knelt in front of her, taking her hands in his.  “Lara, I care about you so much. If I didn’t care, would I have run all the way with Chris to New York just to try and bring you back?”

“That was just dumb…dangerous and dumb,” Lara said, trying to pull her hands away.  Lance kept a tight grip.  “No one asked you to do that.”

“No, no one did.  Doesn’t that prove anything to you?”  Lance asked.  “Lara, when I went up there, I knew what we’d probably find.  I knew what you had been…what your past was like…and I came along anyway. Doesn’t that mean anything?”

“You were just helping Chris,” Lara whispered.

“Fuck Chris,” Lance growled, getting up.  He began to pace.  “When Cate said you were a…a…prostitute…”

“She said whore, didn’t she?” Lara interrupted.

“A prostitute,” Lance continued, “I didn’t want to believe her. I thought she was lying.  But when Julie and Chris agreed…I wasn’t sure WHAT to think.  I thought I knew you, the kind of person you were, and I didn’t think you’d do that…unless you had to.  Then I realized you DID have to, and that it was all tied into the amnesia you had experienced.  And then I thought of you having to do it again…and all I could think about was getting to you and saving you from it.  So I told Chris I’d come along.”

“So now I’m a charity case?  Someone for you to pity?”

“Oh, for God’s sake,” Lance snapped, exasperated.

“Lance, listen to yourself.”  Lara stood as well.  “You had to stand down on that street and wait, knowing full well I was spreading my legs for money just a few flights up.  You didn’t think about that?  Didn’t think about how if I ever did that for you, I’d have already done it for hundreds of men?”

“So what?  Women are allowed to have sex with different men. This is the twenty-first century,” Lance pointed out.

“For money? I don’t think so.”  Lara stopped in front of him.  “Lance, look at what you do. What the HELL would happen if anyone found out you were involved with a former prostitute?”

“I don’t care.  I think we’re worth that chance.  You’re worth more than that, can’t you see?  And you’re not just some prostitute.  You’re you…and I care about you…” Lance caressed her cheek and she couldn’t stop the tear that fell.

“Lance, stop…please…I’m not…”

“Don’t say you’re not good enough for me, please.  I’m not all that.  I’m just a guy.”  Lance cupped her chin in his hand. “Give me a chance, please,” he begged.

“I…I need to be alone,” she whispered.  Lance sighed. 

“Do you really want to go back?”

“I like it here,” she admitted.

“Okay. I reserved two of the rooms, just in case you’d want to stay.  TWO rooms,” he emphasized.  “Why don’t you go up and take a bath and relax, and I’ll call Chris and let him know we’re staying.”  Lance handed her a key.  Lara hesitated, then took it.  Lance watched her leave the room, then took his cellphone from his pocket.

 

Lara soaked in a hot bath for almost an hour.  She wrapped herself in a robe that she found hanging in the bathroom, then lay down on the bed.  She stared at the ceiling, thinking of Lance.  He had risked a lot by coming to New York, and he had gone to a lot of trouble in getting her to meet him at this place.  Before she could come to a decision, however, she nodded off.

 

The room was dark when she woke up.  A small clock on the nightstand said seven-fifteen.  She stretched and went out into the hall, still wearing the bathrobe.  She knocked on the door next to hers, and got no answer.  She padded down a back staircase on bare feet and jumped when she saw the owner.  He informed her that Mr. Bass was on the back deck, the one reserved for overnight guests.  He smiled and said she could go out in her robe; they were the only guests staying over. 

Lance didn’t turn around when she opened the door.  She came and stood behind his chair, looking out at the ocean she could hear but couldn’t see.  “I thought about you in New York,” she whispered.  “All the time.  I used to even…” she choked back a sob.  “When it got very bad, I’d imagine they were you, and it almost made it all bearable.  And then…when I saw you on the street…I couldn’t believe it was you.  You were like some kind of knight in shining armor.”

Lance got up and walked around the chair.  He stood in front of her, then slowly pulled her against his chest.  “I was so worried…afraid you were hurt…or dead…”

“I missed you,” she said softly, and his heart jumped.  “I didn’t want to hurt you with what I was…what I did.  I wanted you to have someone who was right for you.”

“You’re right for me,” he whispered, kissing her forehead and her nose. “And I’m willing to take this as slow as you want.  I want to get to know all about you…find more about you to like and love.”

“Love?”  Lara said softly.  He nodded. 

“It’s soon…but I could so fall in love with you.”  Lance bent his head and gently kissed her lips.  Lara sighed against him, moaning as he flickered his tongue into her mouth.  He was first to pull away.

“This isn’t going to be easy for me,” she confided. “I’ll always feel like you deserve more.”

“And I’ll always try my damnedest to make you see you deserve more than ME,” he said, and she smiled.  He sat back down on his chair and pulled her across his lap.

March, 2002

 

ORLANDO, FL (AP)—Masses of screaming fans surrounded the Faith Church in downtown Orlando this morning to catch a glimpse of yet another boyband member who has taken the plunge.  NSYNC member Chris Kirkpatrick took long-time girlfriend Julie Orlando as his lawfully wedded wife as bandmembers and three hundred guests looked on.  Mrs. Kirkpatrick was a cellist with the Toronto Philharmonic, and will be taking up residence with her husband here in Florida.  She plans on spending her time taking on students while her husband goes out on tour and promotional trips.  Bandmates Lance Bass, Justin Timberlake, Joey Fatone and JC Chasez served as groomsmen.  Timberlake, Fatone and Chasez all have steady girlfriends, while Bass has just proposed to his girlfriend of less than a year, an old friend of Kirkpatrick’s.  The party lasted well into the night at the reception hall, and after the happy couple snuck off to the airport to begin their tour of the south Pacific, the wedding party moved onto various nightclubs, finally ending the night at Backstreet Boy Howie Dorough’s club Tabu.  Best wishes to the happy couple.

 

The End

 

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