Statement Of Love

By:  Lara

 

“I Adore You (A Kiss on the Hand)”

 

“Shit, Justin, you really did it this time,” Lance said as he carefully rinsed Justin’s hand with the alcohol.  Justin hissed and yanked his hand back.

“Fuck, Lance, that HURTS.”

“Quit being a baby.”  Lance wrapped his arm around Justin’s arm, holding him firmly in place.  “Let me bandage this.”

“Okay, Mom,” Justin said, obviously annoyed but obeying anyway.

“What the hell were you doing in here, anyway?”  Lance glanced at the countertop of the kitchen they shared with the other guys.  Joey and Chris were off somewhere, and JC was napping.  “What is all this stuff?”

“Uh, pots and pans and ingredients,” Justin said softly, his face flaming red.  Lance stared at him. The Justin Timberlake he knew didn’t blush easily.

“What were you making?”  Lance dabbed at the small gash with a cotton ball, then carefully began to bandage the cut on Justin’s left hand.

“Dinner,” Justin said, as if stating the obvious.

“Dinner?  But JC’s going out with Bobbie, and Joey and Chris weren’t planning on coming back until later.  I’m the only one staying in tonight.”

“I know,” Justin said, looking everywhere but at Lance.  Lance stopped bandaging and looked at the counter again.

“What were you making?” Lance asked again.

“Well…um…chicken, and, uh, mashed potatoes, and…well…some green vegetable.”  Justin blindly waved at the counter.  “Joey helped me shop.”

“Joey,” Lance repeated.  “Justin, were you cooking dinner for me?”

“Well, yeah, for us…I thought since we were both here tonight, I’d…shit, nevermind.”  Justin pulled his hand away.  “Thanks.”

“Wait.”  Lance put a hand on Justin’s arm. “I’m not done with this yet.”  Lance tenderly picked up Justin’s hand kissed above the bandage.  Justin’s skin was soft and warm against his lips.  “All better now.”

“All better,” Justin repeated in a breathless whisper.

 

“I Just Want to Be Friends (A Kiss on the Cheek)”

 

 

“I think we should play spin the bottle,” Chris said, placing an empty whiskey bottle on the floor and idling spinning it. Joey looked away from the Playstation for a brief second.

“Chris, we’re all boys.”

“That’s debatable,” Chris protested, winking at JC, who gave him the finger.  “Some of us are prettier than others.”

“I’m not playing,” Justin decided. He didn’t like how Chris looked at Lance.  Sure, Lance wasn’t like his BOY or anything, but he didn’t like Chris looking at him. Chris looked at Lance like Chris was a lion and Lance was a helpless gazelle, ready for the catch.  Chris could be the lion, but Lance was HIS gazelle, and Chris wasn’t getting a bite of him.  He shook his head.  Gazelles…really.  He was cracked in the head.

“C’mon, Just.  What’s your problem…afraid you’ll find out something about yourself that you don’t like?” Chris taunted.  Justin clutched his hands into fists, wincing as the cut twisted across his skin.

“Calm down…you’re gonna start bleeding again,” Lance said softly, inspecting Justin’s hand.  They had had a quiet dinner that night, and things had moved closer to…something.  Nothing had been said, nothing had been done, and they certainly hadn’t kissed.  Justin had never kissed a boy before, and he didn’t want Chris or Joey to be the first guy he ever kissed.

“I’m in,” Joey said simply, tossing the controller down.  “What’s a few kisses between friends?”

Chris stared at him, surprised.  “Um, okay.  Jayce?”

“I don’t want to kiss Joey,” JC announced.  “I bet he kisses like a dog.”

“Fuck you, Jayce,” Joey said, hurt.  Lance laughed.

“How does a dog kiss, JC?”

“All kinds of tongue and no technique,” JC told him.  Chris raised an eyebrow.

“Have we kissed many dogs?”

“No, but I’ve kissed many people, men AND women, and men tend to kiss like dogs…except me.”  JC looked at everyone critically, ignoring the shocked glances he was receiving. “I’m not sure about you, Chris…but I bet Lance kisses okay…Justin, too. He has good lips.”

“I’m not hearing this.”  Joey put his hands over his ears and shook his head.  Justin laughed. 

“C’mon.  Let’s play,” Lance tugged at Justin’s shirt, pulling him to sit down.  “If for no other reason than Chris thinks we won’t.”

“I think you’ll play. I WANT you to play, Lance,” Chris said earnestly, and Justin frowned.  He plopped to the floor, crossing his long legs Indian style.  He’d show Chris.  He’d show Chris that no one kissed Lance but HIM.  He’d show…who was he kidding?  Like he’d have the balls to kiss Lance, right there in front of EVERYONE.

“Who’s first?” JC said, sighing as he took a seat next to Joey.

“Age before beauty, Chasez,” Chris declared, giving the bottle a whirl. Everyone held their breath, and it stopped between Lance and Justin.  “Oops…doesn’t count.  Let me spin again.”

“Chris,” Justin began, regretting his decision to participate. He didn’t want to watch anyone kiss Lance, even if they were playing.  Lance was HIS dream…and this was all too real.

Chris spun anyway, and it landed smack on Lance.  Chris hooted, JC and Joey laughed, and Lance just smiled.  Justin wanted to crawl into a hole and die.  “Pucker up, Pretty Lance,” Chris cooed, crawling over on his hands and knees.  Justin closed his eyes.  “You cheated!”  Chris exclaimed, and Justin’s eyes flew open.  Chris was looking at Lance, but Lance was looking at Justin. “I could only reach your cheek!”

“That’s right. Kisses are on the cheek are what friends give,” Lance said.  Chris sat back, disappointed.  Justin hadn’t felt this happy in days.

“Kiss Me (Look Into My Eyes)”

 

 

“He’s not gonna get it,” Chris grumbled, glaring at Lance in the mirror. Lance glared back at him, as did Justin.  Chris didn’t see Justin, however.  Chris looked at Wade.  “Can we just call it a day?”

“Sure,” Wade said, looking at Chris oddly. Chris had been acting bitchy towards Lance for the past week.  What Wade didn’t know was that Chris had been acting bitchy towards Lance ever since Lance had refused to let Chris kiss him during spin the bottle.  Everyone knew Chris would eventually get over it, though.  His anger always faded out eventually.

“Stupid klutz,” Chris snapped as he brushed past Lance on his way out of the studio.  JC gave Lance a timid smile as he left.  Joey clapped Lance on the back.

“I know you’ll get it, man.  You always do.”

“Thanks, Joe,” Lance said softly.  Joe nodded and left the room.  Lance glanced up at Justin.  “You wanna lay into me, too?”

Justin was hurt by Lance’s tone, but he understood. Justin was usually the one who was impatient about dance steps. They came so easily to him that he just couldn’t understand why others didn’t pick them up just as quickly.  “No,” he answered.  “I want to help you, if you’ll let me.”

Lance looked up at him in surprise.  Usually it was JC who stuck around to help.  “Really?”

“Really.  Unless you have something better to do,” Justin said with a sly grin.  Lance grinned back.

“Better than spending time with you?  Nothing I can think of,” he replied, and Justin actually blushed.

“Okay, um, where are you losing it?”  Justin went to the CD player and forwarded it to the right track.

“At the break in the middle,” Lance told him, and everything else was forgotten except the dance steps.  They worked for over a half-hour before Lance finally felt he was getting it.

“See? I knew you could do it,” Justin said, wiping his bare head with a towel.  Lance collapsed onto the floor, looking up at him.

“Thank you,” he said softly.  Justin shrugged.

“No problem.  I’m just sorry Chris is being such a jerk to you lately.”

Lance shrugged in a similar fashion. “I know why.  I’m not too upset.  He’ll get over it.”

“You know why?”  Justin even knew why, but he wanted to hear Lance say it.

“Yeah. He’s mad that I wouldn’t let him kiss me. He’s going through one of his bisexual phases again, and this time it’s my turn. Last time it was Joey, remember? That was priceless,” Lance said with a chuckled.  Justin fell to the floor beside Lance.

“Well…aren’t you? Bisexual, I mean,” Justin said, embarrassed to even ask.  Lance shook his head.

“No.”

“Oh.”  Justin felt every dream he had ever had in his life crashing around him like stacks of blocks. He stared at his sneaker.

“I’m not bisexual, Justin. I’m just full out gay.”

Justin’s head whipped up and he stared into Lance’s somber green eyes.  Justin unconsciously licked his lips. “Really?”

“Yeah.  What about you?”

“What about me?”  Justin whispered, unable to pull his gaze from Lance.  Lance smiled slightly, taking in Justin’s slightly quivering red lips, his sweaty face, his deep blue eyes.

“Are you gay? Bisexual?  Straight?  An alien from Mars?” Lance teased gently.

“I don’t know.  I mean, I know I’m not an alien,” Justin grinned as he said the words.  “But I don’t know about the rest.  I mean, I thought I was straight.”

“But you’re having doubts?” Lance prompted.

“Yeah,” Justin said softly, drowning in Lance’s eyes.  He licked his lips again. “I’m having feelings for someone.”

“Someone?”

“Yeah,” Justin said, not even paying attention to the fact that their faces were growing closer and closer together.

“Me?”  Justin could only nod, his eyes never leaving Lance’s eyes.  Lance smiled.  “I was hoping you’d say that.” 

Justin only had a brief second to close his eyes before Lance’s lips met his.

“A Kiss on the Ears (I’m Just Playing)”

 

“Dude.”  Chris stared at Justin, who rubbed a hand over his head self-consciously.

“What?”

“Dude,” Chris repeated, his mouth an “O” of shock.

“What, Chris?”

“Dude…your hair!”  Chris reached a hand out, then snaked it back.  “Where is it?”

“On the floor of a barber shop, obviously,” Joey said, smiling at Justin.  “I like it.”

“Thanks, Joe.”  Justin couldn’t bring himself to look at Lance. He still had no clue why he really had chopped it all off.  He was just tired of being the young one with the curls.  Now he could be the young bald one.

“I like it, too,” JC said softly, and Justin looked at him, surprised. 

“You do, C?”

“Yeah.  I like it a lot. You can see your ears. You have cute ears.”  And JC went back to his book.

“Dude,” Chris said one last time, then wandered to the kitchen to find something to snack on.  Joey flipped on the TV.  Justin started for his bedroom.

“Don’t you want to know what I think?”  Lance’s low voice followed Justin into the hallway.  Justin turned around, his hand once again running over his almost bald head.

“Um, yeah…well…no…well…yeah,” Justin stammered, unable to read the look in Lance’s green eyes.  Lance reached out, his fingers barely a feather of a touch as they wiped across Justin’s head.

“I think you’re beautiful no matter what,” Lance whispered, standing on tiptoe and pressing a kiss to Justin’s head.  “No matter what,” he repeated, heading out of the hallway to join Joey in front of the TV.  Justin leaned against the wall, heaving a sigh of relief.

 

“Are we ready to watch some Star Wars?”  Justin flew onto the sofa next to JC.  JC grabbed at the bowl of popcorn he was holding.

“Jeez, Justin, be careful. I don’t want to wear this…it’s extra butter.”

“Cool.”  Justin grabbed a handful and crammed it into his mouth. He froze in midbite as JC stared at him. “What?”

“I’m just…your ears, Just.  They’re so cute.”  JC reached up a fingertip and ran it along the outline of Justin’s ear.  Justin shivered.  “I never knew you had such cute ears.”  JC sat the popcorn on the coffee table and leaned closer.  “Both of them.  Adorable.”

“Th-thank you?”  Justin said nervously.  He swallowed deeply, praying for Joey or Chris to suddenly make an appearance.  Not Lance.  Lance would be bad.

“Of course they’re adorable, though. They’re yours.”  JC leaned forward and planted a line of kisses on Justin’s left ear.  Justin whimpered, pushing back with everything he had.

“J-Jayce…don’t.”

JC grinned at Justin’s discomfort.  “Jeez, Justin. I’m just playing with you, that’s all.”

“Really?”  Justin wanted to hit JC.

“Really. Just teasing you.”  JC pulled away as the others came into the room.  “You’re not the one I want,” he said lightly, and the haunted look in his eyes as he watched Joey told Justin everything he needed to know.

“Hey, Mice…room in here for one more?” Lance asked, his eyes confused as he looked at Justin’s red face.

“For you, Lancelot, always.”  JC moved over and gave Lance room to sit next to Justin.

“How about for me?” Joey fit himself on JC’s other side, and the four men were pressed tightly together.

“Wait…hold on while…Lance, move your…there.”  JC struggled to change positions and suddenly Lance was all but in Justin’s lap, and JC was pressed back against Joey.  “Plenty of room.”

“Plenty of room,” Lance repeated, grinning up at Justin as he rubbed a hand over Justin’s bald head.

“A Kiss on the Neck (I Want You)”

 

“We gotta moon man…” Justin shook his booty and danced around the podium.  JC giggled, falling off the sofa onto Joey.  MTV was showing a brief collage of moments in their awards shows.

“Man, every time I see that, it makes me howl,” JC said, wiping his eyes.

“I noticed,” Justin said wryly.  “Joe, put the video in.”

“Nah…JC’s enjoying himself too much,” Joey said, patting JC on the head fondly.

“Come here, Justin…there’s room for you.”  Lance tugged at Justin’s earlobe and moved over on the loveseat.  He was curled under a blanket on the loveseat in Chris’ living room area. 

“Yeah!  Let’s all snuggle with Lance!”  Chris shouted, jumping up from his seat on the floor.

“No.”  Lance stopped Chris in mid-leap. “There isn’t room for you. Only for Justin.” Lance gave Justin a sweet smile.  Justin quickly hopped to his feet, gave Chris a triumphant glance, then plopped down next to Lance.  Lance adjusted the blanket to cover them both.

“I’m cold,” Lance said, shivering.  It was a cold fall night in Boston, and even though he wore jeans and a sweater, he was still cold.  He moved his arm and Justin snuggled as close as he could without causing attention to be drawn to it.  He rested his head against Lance’s shoulder. “I feel better already,” Lance murmured.  Justin sighed happily, inhaling the scent of just bathed Lance and looking at the TV screen expectantly.

“What did you get, Chris?”

“Some action flick,” Chris said, shrugging as he popped the tape in.  Justin grinned. Chris didn’t do jealous well.  Chris turned the lights off and fell onto the floor.

JC curled up like a cat, pressing himself against Joey’s legs. Joey finally got up and climbed onto the sofa, JC following.  Joey stretched himself out, and JC took the opportunity to use his legs as a pillow.  Justin stared at them for a moment. They were all like this, invading personal space on a regular basis, but JC was looking way too content. Justin wondered if Joey knew exactly how JC felt.  He forgot about JC and Joey when he felt Lance’s breath on his ear.  “You smell good,” Lance murmured.

“I was just thinking the same about you,” Justin whispered, smiling into Lance’s face.  Lance chuckled and said nothing more.

As the movie started, Justin got more and more comfortable, Lance’s warmth draping over him in a sweet drowsiness.  He moaned a bit and squirmed closer.  Just as his eyes began to flutter closed, he felt a strange sensation on his neck.  His eyes flew open and he stared hard at the TV.  He swallowed deeply, paying close attention. Yes…those were Lance’s lips on his neck.  Justin’s hand grabbed his knee under the blanket, then he realized it wasn’t his knee…it was Lance’s.  He swallowed a moan as the lips moved up his throat to settle below his ear.  Lance froze for a moment, not moving, and not saying anything.  Just as Justin finally relaxed, Lance stared again, this time flickering his tongue out whenever his lips pressed against Justin’s skin.  Justin closed his eyes and bit back another whimper.

“I want you,” Lance breathed in his ear, nibbling on the skin below his chin.

“Jesus,” Justin whispered, holding his breath as Lance’s hand slid around his waist under the cover.

“You’re sleepy,” Lance told him, and Justin wondered if he was being hypnotized.  Suddenly Lance shook him, hard.  “Justin, God…wake up!”

“Huh?” Justin was honestly confused.  Chris paused the movie, and JC looked over at them quizzically.

“You dozed off.”  Lance rolled his eyes.  “Why don’t you just go to bed?”

“Yeah.”  Justin stood, stretched, and yawned. “Sorry to be the party pooper, guys.”

“Whatever, Curly.  Get some rest,” Joey said, giving him a kind smile.

“Night, J,” JC said tiredly.  Chris just waved and hit play on the remote.

“I’m gonna turn in, too,” Lance announced. “I’m still cold…I want my bed.  Good night, all.”  Lance waved around the room and headed out the door. 

“Good night, guys,” Justin added, following Lance out.  Lance was nowhere in the hallway and Justin sighed. He was still confused.  He dug into his jeans pocket for his keycard and swiped his door open.  He flipped on the light and almost screamed when he saw Lance sitting on the sofa.

“Extra keycard,” Lance told him, twirling it through his fingers.  Lance sat it on the table and grinned. “About time you got here.”

“Lance, what was that all about in there?”  Justin asked.

“I wanted to be alone with you,” Lance said simply.  Justin shivered at the look Lance gave him. “And I was cold.  Can you warm me up?”

Justin swallowed deeply.  The only thing they had been able to do was kiss a few times. The others were always around.  But now he had Lance all to himself.  “I could try,” he said, feeling amazingly self-conscious.  Lance looked at him. 

“You’ve never been with a guy?  Ever?”

“Just you,” Justin said shyly.  Lance laughed and Justin blushed.

“No…I’m not laughing at you, I promise. I’ve just been so afraid…afraid of disappointing you.  I’m happy.”

“I’m just me,” Justin whispered as he took a step towards Lance.  Lance walked over to him and kissed him gently.

“I like just you. I like just you a lot.”  Lance kissed him again, urgently this time. “I like just Justin.”

“Just Justin likes you, too,” Justin murmured, sighing as Lance’s lips slid down to lick at his ear.

“Cute ears,” Lance whispered, his voice a low growl.  Justin gasped and grabbed Lance’s waist as Lance nipped at his throat.  “Come on. I’m still cold. I think we should get under the covers.”  Lance took Justin’s hand, leading him to the bedroom. Justin docilely followed.  He closed the door behind them and Lance smiled at him.

“God…Lance…” the words were strangled in Justin’s throat.  “I want you so bad.”  Justin wasn’t past pleading.  He could only think of Lance…Lance’s voice, Lance’s mouth, Lance’s hands.

“I want you, too, Justin,” Lance whispered, grabbing his sweater and pulling it over his head.  Justin tugged at his own shirt, finally getting it off.  Lance pulled him into a fierce kiss, their chests pressing together. 

“Shit, that’s cold!”  Justin hissed as Lance’s cross pressed against his chest.

“Sorry,” Lance said, taking the cross off and placing it on the nightstand.  Justin stared.  He knew Lance rarely took that cross off. “I wouldn’t want you to be cold.”  Lance sat on the bed, tugging at Justin’s belt.  “Do you mind?”  Justin shook his head, afraid to speak.  He felt like a virgin all over again.  “We won’t do everything tonight…we’ll save some for later…but I just wanted to touch you…wanted to be alone with you,” Lance whispered.   He slid Justin’s pants and boxer briefs down to the floor. “Sweet Jesus,” he gasped as Justin’s erection was uncovered.  Lance moaned as he took Justin in his mouth.

Justin moaned loudly, his hands fisting in Lance’s short hair.  Lance’s tongue swirled around him, his hand working the shaft as his lips moved over the smooth skin. “Lance…oh…fuck me yes…” Justin could barely make words as Lance deep throated him.

“I wanna make you cum, baby…I wanna suck you til you cum…” Lance murmured, lightly nibbling the insides of Justin’s thighs before going back to his cock.

Justin felt his knees wobble.  Girls had blown him hundreds of times, but nothing like this. Nothing this amazing.  “Lance…I’m gonna cum…” Justin couldn’t believe the speed or force of his orgasm. It hit him hard and fast, and he grunted as he thrusted into Lance’s hot mouth.  Lance moaned, drinking everything he could. “God…oh GOD…” Justin pulled away and fell onto the bed, gasping for breath. He felt Lance pressing kisses to his legs, his stomach, his chest.  Finally Lance kissed his mouth, and Justin tasted himself on Lance’s lips.

Lance pulled away and Justin whimpered. “Just getting myself naked,” Lance said reassuringly.  He quickly stripped as Justin pulled back the covers, and soon they were snuggling under the thick blankets.  “Was that okay?”

“Lance, you’re wonderful.”  Justin sweetly kissed Lance as his hand slid down Lance’s chest.

“Justin, you don’t have to…oh…God…” Lance moaned, his head thrown back.  Justin clumsily stroked Lance’s cock, trying to imagine how he would want it to feel. “So good…there…like that…your thumb over the head…oh GOD…” Lance gasped, his hands reaching out for Justin as his mouth eagerly sucked on Justin’s neck.  “Yeah…uh…Justin…baby…” he gasped as Justin stroked harder and faster.  “Fuck baby you’re so good…oh…” Lance’s back arched as he came, his cum hitting the bottom sheet.  He panted for breath, blindly reaching for Justin so he could kiss him.

“I…I’m sorry I didn’t…um…suck you…you know.”  Justin was incredibly embarrassed at the way he had chickened out.  He just couldn’t bring himself to do it. He was still scared of the feelings he was having.

“It’s okay,” Lance whispered.  “You were…shit…I can’t even explain.”  Lance threw a cover back.  “NOW I’m hot.  And I made a mess of your bed.”

“Let’s go to yours,” Justin suggested.  Lance looked at him and grinned.

“Let’s.”

“A Kiss Anywhere (Let’s Not Get Carried Away)”

 

“Guys…what I really need is sleep,” Joey insisted as the other four men curled up with him on the king-sized bed in his hotel room. “I’ll sleep it off, you guys go to the party and make my apologies…it’s all good.” He sneezed and JC handed him a tissue.

“No way. You’re sick.  We should take care of you.”  Chris started to lay down next to Joey, but JC put a hand on his shoulder.

“There isn’t room up here. You lay down by Justin.”  JC quickly climbed on the bed, worming his way next to Joey.  Justin grinned.  JC was so obvious. 

“You just don’t want to go to the party.”  Joey coughed for a good five minutes.  Lance handed him a cup of tea with honey, Justin offered cough drops, and Chris offered a sweet smile.

“Aw, Joey. In your illness you’re hallucinating.”

“Am not,” Joey muttered. “You guys are using me as your excuse.”

“Maybe we care about you, Joe, ever think of that? Maybe we’re worried about you,” Chris said, pretending to be hurt.  “But, oh damn…it’s after nine-thirty…we were supposed to be there at eight.  Guess we need to stay here.”

“Whatever,” Joey grumbled, but he allowed JC to resituate himself until he was practically resting his head on JC’s chest.  Joey sighed, pulling the blanket up tighter.  “What video did you get?”

“Apollo 13,” Lance told him. “Justin’s never seen it.”  Lance looked as if he considered this a personal insult. 

“Okay, so push play already,” Joey ordered, sniffing.  JC patted his head and handed him another tissue.

“Who has the remote?” Justin asked.

“I do!” Chris waved it in the air triumphantly. He pushed play. “Shit…this doesn’t work.”

“Is the tape in?”  Lance wanted to know.

“Who brought it?” Joey asked. 

“JC,” Chris answered.

“No…I brought tissues for Joey,” JC told him.

“Justin,” Chris suggested.

“No…I brought cough drops for Joey,” Justin added.

“Lance?”

“I brought Justin,” Lance said.  Chris frowned.

“Well, shit.  Lance rented the damn thing…so it must be back in his room.”

“I thought you picked it up!”  Lance exclaimed.

“I did, but then I had to pick on Justin, so I set it down on your coffee table,” Chris told him. 

“Fucking A,” Lance griped, getting up and leaving the room. Justin sighed, echoing his emotion. He wanted nothing more to snuggle with Lance in the dark, and at this rate they’d NEVER get the chance.  Justin pouted, falling back against JC’s bony legs.  Lance was much more comfortable.

“You need anything, Joey?” JC asked.  Justin turned around to look at Joey.  JC’s blue eyes were concerned as he looked at the head on his chest.

“Just to die, that’s all,” Joey said as cheerfully as he could.  He sniffled again and JC handed him a tissue. “You guys are all gonna get this, you realize that, right?”

“Those who sing together, ail together!”  Chris shouted, and Joey kicked at his head.

“Goofball,” he said.

“Here we go.”  Lance returned with the video in his hand.  He wore a pair of grey pajama pants and a white wifebeater.  Justin stared at him. “I figured I should get dressed for bed, while I was in there.”  Lance pushed the video into the VCR and crawled back onto the bed.  Justin welcomed Lance’s soft comfortable body happily.  Chris reached up and turned off the light, then pushed play on the VCR.

“Dammit, Chris, you’re hogging the blankets,” Justin griped, kicking his feet.

“There are more in the closet out there,” Joey offered.

“Pause it,” Justin said, hopping up. “I’ll be right back.”

“For God’s sake,” Chris said, annoyed.  He pushed stop and Justin hurried out of the room.  Justin came back about ten minutes later in his own wifebeater and sweatpants, carrying a few extra blankets. 

“Joey, you need a blanket?”  Justin asked.

“Nah…JC’s keeping me warm,” Joey said almost drowsily. “For someone skinny as a rail, you’re amazingly comfortable,” Joey said to JC.  Justin smiled as JC blushed.

“Thanks, I think,” JC replied, running a hand over Joey’s hair. 

“Okay, no more interruptions,” Justin said.  He crawled back onto the bed, tucking himself and Lance under a blanket.  Lance burrowed deeper into his Justin cocoon, smiling.

“No more interruptions. This is a great movie, Justin. You’ll like it.”

“I’m sure I will,” Justin said, though within the first ten minutes of the movie his mind had already wandered.  The other men were watching the television, so it was easy for him to slide his hand around Lance’s waist.  He could easily lean his head against Lance’s, his fingers stroking the soft skin underneath Lance’s wifebeater.

“You’re naughty,” Lance whispered, but he did nothing to stop Justin. Justin moved slightly, giving himself space to watch Lance’s face.  The lights of the television screen occasionally lit up Lance’s face, and he could see that Lance was trying too hard to be interested in the movie.  Justin smiled to himself, watching Lance intently as his hand slid underneath the elastic of Lance’s pajama pants.  Lance’s eyes never left the television as he reached down and removed Justin’s hand.  “Let’s not get carried away,” he whispered, discreetly kissing Justin’s bare shoulder.  Justin pulled back, hurt.  He grabbed one of the blankets, swiped one of the three pillows from under Chris’ head, and sat on the floor.

“There’s more room here,” he said, leaning against the pillow.  And on the floor no one could see the tears swimming in his eyes.

 

“Good night, Joe.  Get better.” Chris affectionately swiped a hand over Joey’s feverish forehead and grinned as Joey mumbled something, holding JC tighter.  JC, ecstatic over being Joey’s chosen teddy bear for the evening, snuggled closer, smiling in his sleep.  “I hope Joey soon sees what’s going on. Lovesick JC Chasez is getting old,” Chris said with a sigh. “Night, guys.”  Chris exited the room, heading for his own bed.

“You’re right…that was a good movie. Good night, Lance.”  Justin hopped up from his spot on the floor, threw the blanket and pillow on a pile next to the bed, and headed off to his own room. 

“Justin, wait!”  Lance hurried down the hallway after Justin. Justin looked over his shoulder as he unlocked his door.

“Yeah?”

“Listen, let me explain.”

“I’m not discussing this in the middle of the hallway at midnight, Lance.  You made your point clear. You weren’t interested,” Justin hissed in a whisper.  He opened the door.  “Good night.”

Lance put a hand out as Justin tried to close the door.  He stepped inside Justin’s room, closing the door behind them. “And what exactly WAS my point?”

“You aren’t interested in me.  That other night was…whatever it was…and that’s fine.”  Justin’s tone told that the situation was NOT fine at all.

“The other night was the first time you’ve ever done anything with another man, Justin.  This has to be a big deal to you…I know it was to me. I don’t want to rush things with you,” Lance told him. “Your first time getting into all that…it should be special. Mine wasn’t, and I don’t want to force you.”

“You force me?  You can’t force me to do shit, Lance,” Justin said cockily.  “But I suppose it’s okay for you to kiss my neck while we’re with the guys, talk low into my ear…and then when I try to just touch you, you get all defensive?”

Lance ran a hand through his hair, frustrated.  He took a good look at Justin, and saw the truth. Justin was embarrassed.  Justin was hurt. Justin felt rejection. He didn’t see any of the reasons behind it…he just knew that he was nervous and unsure in this new territory.  Justin had taken all his courage to make that move, and Lance had rejected him. Lance sighed. “You’re so cute,” he said, smiling at Justin.  Justin frowned.

“Shut up.”

Lance put a hand on the back of Justin’s neck, forcing Justin to look at him. “I’m sorry. I just…I don’t want to push you.  And the guys don’t know…you grabbing my dick is not the right way to show them.”

Justin turned red. “I just…I wanted to touch you.”

“Do you want to tell them?”

“Tell them what?”

“Tell them that we’re…” Lance paused. What were they?  “Tell them that we’re…um…doing what we’re doing.”

“No,” Justin said, and Lance’s heart sank. “Because I don’t know what I’m doing yet.”

“Right,” Lance said.  “I’m gonna go to bed now.”

“You could stay here.”  Justin fidgeted.  “I won’t touch you, I swear.”

Lance smiled.  “Okay.”  They went into the bedroom, climbing into Justin’s bed.  As they closed their eyes, neither of them thought twice about how easily and quickly Justin snuggled into Lance’s open arms.

“Playing With Hair (I Can’t Live Without You)”

 

“What did you do to get Joey over to that other bus?” Lance asked incredulously as Justin hopped up the steps of the bus, dragging his duffel behind him.

“Nothing. JC said something before I could. He said that he needed help with something and that Joey was the only one that could help him,” Justin said, grinning as he threw his duffel onto the floor.

“I bet Joey’s the only one,” Lance said, laughing.

“You noticed it, too?”

“How could I help it?  JC’s all cool and collected, but as soon as Joey’s not looking, he’s giving him these big doe eyes.” 

“But Joey’s straight, huh?”  Justin asked.

“Well…I’m not so sure…he’s been saying some weird stuff lately, but I haven’t felt like I should ask him more.”  Lance sat on the sofa.  Justin sat beside him. “So…the whole bus to ourselves.” They swayed slightly as the bus jerked into motion. “Want to watch a video?”

This was the LAST thing Justin wanted to do, but he didn’t say that. “Um, sure.  Lemme go change clothes quick.”  Justin went back to the bathroom to change clothes and brush his teeth, suddenly shy about changing in front of Lance.  When he came back out, the lights were off and only the light of the TV screen illuminated the small living area.  Lance was on the sofa, wearing only a pair of sweatpants.  Justin swallowed deeply and sat down next to him.

“I’m cold,” Lance announced. He grabbed a blanket and laid down on the sofa, placing his head in Justin’s lap.  Justin saw flashes of his erection poking Lance in the head and mentally groaned at the thought.  Lance pushed play on the remote and Justin ordered himself to NOT get aroused. He concentrated on the screen, but his hand soon wandered to play in Lance’s short hair.  Lance had showered shortly before they had climbed on the busses, and his hair was still damp. “Mmm…that feels good,” Lance sighed, burrowing down deeper into his blanket.

“Okay,” Justin whispered, his eyes moving down to watch Lance.  Justin’s heart ached.  He wanted Lance, true. He wanted him like he had never wanted anything before. But he was quickly falling in love, and it scared him.  He had never really been in love with anyone before, and loving one of his best friends intensified the feelings.  He had no clue how to approach Lance with this information, so he just didn’t say anything.

Lance sighed, enjoying the feeling of Justin’s long fingers working through his hair. He soon ignored the movie, closing his eyes and concentrating on the feeling of Justin’s fingers.  “Lance?” He heard Justin say.

“Hmm?”

“I…uh…I like being like this. With you.”

“Me too,” Lance said, and Justin allowed his heart to leap.  “I like when it’s just us. I hate not being with you.”

“Me too,” Justin said, feeling braver by the minute.  “I feel like if I’m alone and you’re not there…it’s just not right…like I’m not at home unless you’re around.”

Lance turned to look at him. “That’s exactly how I feel.”

They smiled at each other, and Lance turned back to watch the movie.

“A Kiss On the Lips (I Love You)”

 

“JC, you’re lucky I love you,” Lance moaned as Chris flicked him behind the ear for the tenth time in five minutes.  “Because I’m about to mess up your bus with Chris’ ass.”

“Chris already messes up the bus with his ass,” Justin remarked.  “He ate chili this morning.”

“Euuuwww!”  Joey yelled.  Chris smacked him in the head.  The bus started to move and Justin sat on the floor.  JC and Joey flopped onto the sofa, and Lance moved away from Chris’ flicking fingers to join Justin on the floor.

“So why DID you want us all on the same bus?”  Lance asked JC.  JC swallowed deeply and looked up at Joey.

“We…uh…have to tell you something,” JC stammered.  Justin stared.  JC never stammered.

“Go on,” Chris said, his brown eyes interested.  JC blushed and played with his sneaker.

“We’re together.  Me and Jayce.  Like together together,” Joey said finally.  Lance’s mouth fell open.  Chris’s mouth fell into a shit-eating grin. Justin’s heart fell into his socks.

“Like in love?  Like Joey and Joshy sitting in the tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g?”  Chris asked.

“Yeah…I think we’re in love,” Joey said, smiling at JC.  JC grinned and blushed some more.

“Well, hallelujah!  About damn time you two came around!” Chris shouted in delight.  He hugged JC, then hugged Joey. “Isn’t this great, guys?” Chris looked at Lance and Justin.  Lance smiled.

“Yeah, it sure is. I’m glad you guys finally got around to finding each other. It’s great.”  Lance hugged JC, then hugged Joey, his best friend.  “I’m really happy for you.”

“Justin?”  JC looked at Justin uncertainly.

Justin couldn’t meet JC’s eyes. He couldn’t see the happiness on JC’s face…couldn’t bear to see the look of someone who was well-loved and who loved in return.  He couldn’t see it and not hate JC for it.  “Yeah, great.  Congratulations, you guys.”  Justin stood up and walked back to his bunk, slamming the curtain shut behind him.

He heard footsteps outside the bunk a moment later.  “Justin.”

“What, Lance?” Justin poked his head out angrily.  “God, people hook up every day.  Is there some unwritten rule that I need to throw a party about it when I just want to be alone?”

“Justin, you hurt JC’s feelings,” Lance said gently.

“Fuck JC and his feelings. I want to be alone. Go away, Lance.” Justin slammed the curtain shut, closing his eyes tight.  Lance sighed and walked away.

When Justin opened his eyes, the tears were still there.  Dammit, why couldn’t he just TELL Lance?  Why couldn’t he tell him that he had fallen in love with him, that he knew it was more then just some physical attraction?  All the kissing, the touching, it was wonderful, but if it ended the next day, Justin would be fine. He’d be fine as long as Lance still wanted him and no one else.  Justin wanted to be the one with the look of love in his eyes. He wanted to be the one sitting with Lance behind him as they faced the other three and let them in on the wonderful secret of their relationship.  But he wasn’t sure Lance would feel the same, and he didn’t want to chance that.

Justin blindly reached into his bag and pulled out his Discman.  He fastened the earphones around his head and turned up the volume, pushing play.  JC’s voice filled his ears and he groaned, but as he listened to the words, he realized that they couldn’t have been more appropriate.  He fell asleep to the sound, tears drying on his cheeks.  “I don’t know how…I don’t know why…but girl it seems you’ve touched my life…you’re in my dreams, you’re in my heart, I’m not myself when we’re apart…Something strange has come over me…a raging wind across my seas…and girl you know your eyes are to blame…what am I supposed to do…if I can’t get over you…if I come to find that you don’t feel the same…”

 

Something tickled Justin’s nose and he brushed at his face.  His eyes flickered open as he realized someone was breathing on him with light puffs of air.  Lance was snuggled up next to him, and the earphones were no longer on his ears.  “’Cause I’m falling…falling…boy, I’m falling for you…and I pray you’re falling, too…I’ve been falling, falling…ever since the moment…I laid eyes on you…” Lance stopped singing as Justin turned to look at him. Lance smiled, kissing Justin’s nose, then planting a sweet kiss on Justin’s lips.  Justin stared at him.

“I was jealous,” Justin finally whispered.  “Joey loves JC, JC loves Joey…no one loves me…”

“I love you,” Lance said softly. “Since the first damn minute I laid eyes on you…when you were too young for me to love…I loved you…and I never thought you’d notice me.”

“God…Lance…I love you, too…” Justin buried his face in Lance’s shoulder and cried.

“I Love You Too Much to Let You Go”

 

Lance’s hand slid up under Justin’s wifebeater. Justin moaned, arching his back.  “Fuck, Lance…I’ve been dying for your touch all day,” Justin gasped.  Lance smirked.

“Well, prepare to be touched all over.”  Lance’s soft fingers tweaked Justin’s nipples before he slid the wifebeater up over Justin’s head.  Justin pulled at Lance’s tshirt, finally tearing the fabric to get it off Lance’s body. “Hey, I LIKED that shirt!”

“I’ll buy you another one,” Justin murmured, biting Lance’s shoulder. Lance moaned, his dick jumping in his shorts.  Justin slid his hands under Lance’s waistband, squeezing Lance’s ass.  “I want you so bad…God…Lance…”

“I’m all yours, baby,” Lance whispered, shoving at Justin’s jeans.  Justin was commando underneath, and Lance eagerly slid down to take Justin’s cock into his mouth. 

“Mmm…Lance…yeah…” Justin’s hips rolled as he thrust into Lance’s mouth.  “Lance…that’s too good…”

“I want you to cum before I make love to you, Justin,” Lance murmured, and those words alone brought Justin to the edge.  Lance was going to make love to him.

As soon as he was able, Justin grabbed the lubricant and condoms, carefully sheathing Lance and stroking him wet.  Lance leaned down until Justin was flat on his back. Only then did he slowly start to slide gentle fingers inside of Justin.  “Lance…oh…” Justin gasped in shocked surprise.  “I thought it would hurt.”

“It will…but then I’ll make it all better,” Lance promised.  He worked Justin for a bit longer before finally sliding inside.

“God…oh…” Justin winced, clenching his teeth.

“Relax…relax, baby…” Lance whispered, kissing Justin’s forehead.  He slid in further, slowly working until he was in all the way.  “Mmm…you’re so wonderful…feels so good, Justin…I love you…”

 

Long after Justin had dozed off, Lance lay watching him sleep. He had one hand on Justin’s waist, and the other was propping up his head.  He studied Justin’s shorn hair, his eyelashes, his red lips.  Lance sighed.  Did it get any better than this?

“Hey, Lance, you in here?” Joey said, opening the door.  Justin mumbled in his sleep. Lance froze, his hand tightening on Justin’s waist protectively. Joey froze in the doorway.  “Um, well, yeah.  I guess you’re in here.”

“Yeah, we are,” Lance said, staring at his best friend defiantly.

“Lance, are you sure this is a good idea?”  Joey asked, concerned.  “I mean, we’re talking about Justin, here.”

“Joey, first of all, we are NOT having this conversation now.  Secondly, yes, it IS Justin. And I love him too much to let him go.”  Lance’s green eyes dared Joey to fight about it.

“Okay.” Joey scratched his head.  Chris poked his head in behind him.

“Hey, Lance.  We’re going down to the gym.  See you later.” Chris yanked Joey out the door, pulling the door closed.  “Oh, that?”  Lance heard Chris say. “They’ve been together for ages now.  You really are clueless, aren’t you?”

Lance smiled, snuggling back down next to Justin. He wrapped his arms around his boy and went to sleep.

The End

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