The Wind

By Lara Bruner

 

The year 2007

 

She dropped her boy at school on time/One less worry on her mind/Now it’s off to work and on the radio/Comes an old familiar song/And then the DJ’s voice comes on/And says he’s back in town tonight for one last show…

 

“Brandon…TODAY!”  Kayla yelled, moving her purse to her other shoulder as she picked up her son’s bookbag and lunchbox.  She heard a thumping come from upstairs.

“Here I am!”  A voice shouted as a hurling mass of boy came thumping down the steps.  “Let’s go!  We’re gonna be late!”  Kayla rolled her eyes and followed her son out to the car.  She made sure his seatbelt was snapped on tight before putting the car in gear.  “Mom, you’re coming to Parent’s Night, right?  You won’t miss it?”  Her son asked anxiously.

Kayla smiled down into his dark eyes so much like her own.  “Yes, Brandon.  I promise.  Tonight at seven.  And then afterwards I’ll pick you up at Scott’s house.”

“Okay.  ‘Cuz I really want you to see my desk, and my math test with the star on it,” he continued, chattering on until they pulled up in front of his school.  He yanked at the car door.

“Wait!”  Kayla said, pulling him back so she could kiss his cheek.

“Aw, Mom!”  He said in embarrassment, though they were a lot closer than most 10-year-old boys and their mothers.

She ruffled his dark hair.  “Have a great day, baby.”

He smiled in response and slammed the car door.  She pulled out onto the street and turned on the radio.

“…I never wanna hear you say, I want it that way…”

Kayla gasped and pulled over to the side of the road.  Was it…yes, it was.  The Backstreet Boys.  Howie.  She let the car idle as she let the song play out, ignoring the fact that she was already ten minutes late for work.

“What a blast from the past!”  The DJ said as the song came to an end.  “Yes, that’s the teen dream group from the nineties, The Backstreet Boys.  Believe it or not, they’re back around town, playing the County Fair this weekend.  Thought they were dead and gone didn’t ya?  Well, you can get tickets at…”

Her eyes well up with tears/God could it be it’s been ten years/Since that autumn night outside the county fair/When two strangers shared a night/And in the darkness found a light/That to this day is still alive and burning there…

Kayla stared out the window, seeing nothing but a smile that lit up any room.  “Oh, Howie,” she whispered.  “Do you even remember me?”

Autumn, 1997

Howie Dorough sniffed the air in dismay.  “Something smells disgusting, yo.”

Kevin Richardson smiled and took a deep breath, as did his 22-year-old cousin, Brian Littrell.  “This is country air, Howie D., the healthiest air there is.”

“Well, I think it reeks!”  17 year old Nick Carter added.  AJ McLean nodded in agreement.

“You city boys are spoiled as hell,” Brian remarked.  “This reminds me of home!”  Though they had been a group for a few years, he still missed his home in Kentucky.

The two young men kept complaining as they entered the arena at the large country fair.  They had been given a large room to prepare in, and AJ swore that it smelled like saddles.  Kevin finally blew up.

“You know what, AJ?  If it wasn’t for farms, and country people like these around here, you would have no milk, no pork, no corn, no vegetables, no beef, nothing!  Remember that the next time you have ice cream, bacon, or a cheeseburger, okay?”

“God, I’m sorry,” AJ said.  “Didn’t mean to offend you, Old Man.”  Kevin rolled his eyes at AJ’s nickname for him.  They were six years apart in age, and at almost 25, Kevin DID sometimes feel like an old man.

“There ARE some cute farmgirls out there,” Nick remarked, peeking out the door.  He would have just waltzed out and started talking to them, but the guys were in various states of undress.  That gave Howie an idea.

“I’m thirsty.  Anyone else thirsty?  I’m dressed; I’ll go get some sodas or something.” 

Everyone pooled their change and Howie left to get something to drink.

“Who is this group again?”  Kayla asked her friends.

“The Backstreet Boys.  They are so hot,” Alison gushed.

“I know!  Five of them.  All totally different, and totally fine,” Diana added.

“How comes I have never heard of them, if you guys know all about them?”  Kayla said as they herded into the arena. 

“They’re still pretty new to the states.  You hear them here and there, but they’re just now starting to hit it big,” Alison told her.  They found their seats.  Diana took off for the souvenir stand, and soon came back with her arms full.  “Here, look at them,” Alison said, handing Kayla the program. 

Kayla flipped through it.  Hmmm…Nick Carter, 17.  AJ McLean, 19.  Brian Littrell, 22.  Brian’s cousin, Kevin Richardson, 24.  Howie Dorough, 23.  Kayla’s eyes kept flipping back to Howie.  He had a gorgeous smile, and beautiful dark eyes.  If she had to pick one, which at almost 29 she felt far above, she’d pick him.  He looked friendly, and a lot of fun. 

“I’m gonna get something to drink.  You guys want anything?”

“Diet whatever,” Diana answered.  Alison nodded in agreement.

Howie stood in front of the refreshment stand, counting out the change to make sure he had enough for five.  Someone bumped into him, and coins flew.

“Aw, shit!”  He yelled, irritated.  He bent down and started picking change out of the dirt.

“Here.  Let me help you,” a female voice said beside him.  They scooped up as much change as they could find.  “Here you go.”  She dropped the coins into his hand.

“Thanks a lot,” Howie said, gazing into a pair of dark eyes very similar to his own.  They were set in a face framed by very long dark hair.  The eyes widened.

“Oh my God…you’re…you’re…um…” Kayla tried frantically to remember the name she had just read.  “AJ?  No, that’s not right…you’re…Howie!”  She exclaimed triumphantly.

He laughed.  “Yes, that’s me.  Wow.  It’s not often I get recognized.”

“I’m Kayla,” she said.

“Thanks for helping me, Kayla.  Are you here for the show?”  She nodded.  “Well, I’ll look for you when I’m on stage and maybe throw you a quarter.”

“I’m in the center, about twelve rows back,” she told him.  “And I think I deserve at least thirty-five cents, for helping you find your money.”

“We’ll see.  I may not even have enough as it is.  I’m supposed to be getting drinks for the guys.”

They moved into the line, chatting as they walked.  Howie was about twenty cents short, which Kayla gladly gave him.  “Now you’re up to fifty-five,” she teased.  He groaned and rolled his eyes. 

“Woman, you’re gonna break me!  We’re not that famous yet!”

Kayla offered to help him carry the drinks back.  They walked around backstage and Howie banged on the door.  “You guys decent?”

“As decent as possible,” Nick yelled back.  Howie balanced the drinks as he opened the door.

“Guys, this is Kayla.  She saved me from a soda disaster,” Howie said.  “Kayla, that’s Nick, AJ, Brian, and Kevin.”

“Nice to meet you,” Kayla said.  “My two friends would FLIP if they knew I was back here.  They love you guys.”

“Are they cute?”  AJ asked.  Kevin groaned and rolled his eyes.

“Well, I’m sure you guys have to get ready, so I’m gonna go back to my seat,” Kayla said. 

“Kayla, wait,” Howie said as he opened the door for her.  “We don’t leave until tomorrow.  Would we be able to get together and grab something to eat?”

“Maybe,” she said mysteriously.  “I can’t just ditch my friends though.”

“Bring them along.  There’s more than enough of us to go around,” he joked.  “Please.”

“Okay.  We’ll be at the North Gate of the fair after the show.”

Kayla returned to her seat in a daze, not even noticing the angry looks her friends were giving her. 

“Kayla, where’s my Diet Coke?”  Alison asked angrily.

“Backstage,” Kayla said absentmindedly.

“Huh?”  Diana asked.

“I was backstage.  I met the Backstreet Boys,” Kayla said softly.

“WHAT?”  Her friends yelled together.

“Shhh!”  Kayla said, smiling.  She had hoped for this kind of response. 

“What do you mean, you met the Backstreet Boys?  And if you did, why the HELL didn’t you bring them out here?”  Diana asked.

“Yeah, like THAT woulda worked.  Can you imagine the screaming and shoving?  No way,” Kayla said, grabbing the program from Alison.  She wanted to see Howie again.

“So, explain!”  Alison said, grabbing the program back.

Kayla told exactly what had happened, smiling at the looks of disbelief on her friends’ faces. 

“I don’t believe it.  You MET the Backstreet Boys,” Diana said in awe.

“That’s what I said the first time,” Kayla reminded her.  “There IS one more thing…I hope you guys don’t mind.  Howie wanted us to hang out afterwards, so I said we would.”

“Are you serious?”  Diana shrieked.  Alison’s mouth dropped open.

“Yes, I am.  We’re supposed to meet them at the North Gate after the concert.”

A few hours later, the girls were in front of the North Gate.  This Gate was one of the less-used gates, which is why Kayla had suggested it.  She figured it would be easier for the guys to get out this way.  She lay on the grass, watching the stars float overhead.  Alison and Diana were pacing back and forth.

“Are you SURE you told them the North Gate?”  Alison asked for the tenth time.

“Yes,” Kayla sighed.

“Are you SURE he even said to meet you?  You didn’t make this up, did you?”   Diana said.

“Yes, I’m sure, and NO I DIDN’T MAKE IT UP!  I’m not like that,” Kayla retorted.  “Besides, you gotta give them time to…” she jumped to her feet, brushing off her jeans.  “Here they come,” she said quietly.  “Behave yourselves.”

Diana and Alison whirled around to see a group of five young men walking towards them.  Howie smiled in delight as soon as he saw Kayla.

“Kayla!  I was afraid you might not stay around.  I’m sorry we’re so late.”

“Of course I stayed.  I don’t lie,” Kayla informed him.  “Howie, this is Diana and Alison.”

“Hi,” he said, smiling his beautiful smile.  “This is Nick, AJ, Kevin, and Brian.”

Everyone said hi, but then just kind of stood around and looked at each other.  “Um, are you guys hungry?”  Alison finally asked.

“STARVING,” Kevin replied.

“Well, let’s go eat, then.  Fat Daddy’s?”  Kayla said, looking to her friends for confirmation.  They nodded.

“Um, just one problem.  There’s no way we’re all gonna fit in your car,” Diana pointed out to Kayla.

“We have a tour bus…” Nick began.

“No way.  Everyone would recognize that,” AJ pointed out.

“Is there anyplace closer?”  Howie asked Kayla.  She thought for a moment.

“There’s a diner about a half mile down that way.  We could walk there.” 

“Great.”  Howie grabbed her hand and started to swing it between them playfully as they began to walk.  Kayla’s heart jumped as his fingers intertwined with hers, but she didn’t pull away.  They walked a bit ahead of everyone else.  Diana was in-between AJ and Kevin, while Nick and Brian walked with Alison.

They chatted as they walked, and Kayla begged her shaking hands to calm down.  She found herself flirting and joking around with Howie in a way she never had before with someone she had just met.  He was so easy to talk to, and so attractive.  Every time he would smile into her eyes, she felt her whole body turn to Jell-O.

They reached the diner, and the waitresses shoved tables together to make a table for eight.  Howie sat on the end, with Kayla beside him.  AJ plopped down on her other side.

“You never said your friends were this cute,” he hissed in her ear.  Howie overheard and flicked him in the ear.  He left his arm on the back of the seat behind Kayla’s shoulder, and she felt a chill go through her skeleton.  She looked over at Alison and Diana, who had goofy smiles on their faces.  She frowned at them, her eyes saying, “Knock it off!”

As soon as their food was ordered, Kayla and Howie returned to their previous conversation while the others acted as if they were still in high school.  To Kayla, it seemed as if no one else was even in the room.  Howie’s chocolate eyes were focused on her, and he treated every word she said as if it was the most important thing in the world for him to pay attention.  She sighed unconsciously, and he stopped in the middle of a sentence.

“Everything okay?”  He asked in a concerned tone as he hand lightly rubbed her shoulder.

“Yes.  I’m just having such a good time,” she admitted.  She was rewarded with that smile.

“Me too.  I just wish we didn’t have to leave tomorrow.”

Kayla’s heart sank.  She had forgotten that they would be on to their next concert the following morning.  She then began to wonder if Howie had a Kayla in every town.

“No,” he said, reading her mind.  “I don’t hook up like this in every city,” he said softly, his free hand reaching up to push some hair from her face.  “I’ve never even hung out with a fan before.”

“Oh,” she said quietly, unable to think of anything rational to say.

“Why don’t you two get a room,” Nick said, elbowing Brian in the ribs and motioning towards the couple.  Howie glared at him.

“Maybe we will,” he retorted, throwing some money down on the table.  “Are you ready?”  He turned to Kayla.  She nodded.

“Um…do you think you guys can find a way home?”  She asked her friends. They quickly nodded.

“We’ll get a taxi,” Diana said.

“We’ll make sure they get home,” Kevin promised.  Kayla smiled at him gratefully.

“Come on, Kayla.  Let’s get out of here.”  Howie took her hand.  After one more glare intended to barbecue Nick, he led her out of the diner.

Howie and Kayla were silent as they left the diner.  He took her hand in his.  Kayla already felt as if it was the most natural thing in the world to have him hold her hand or put his arm around her.

“I’m sorry about Nick,” he finally said.  “He can act like such a little kid sometimes.”

“It’s okay.  He IS still a kid, after all,” she pointed out softly.  He moved his arm to encircle her waist, and she placed her head on his shoulder.  “The sky is beautiful tonight, isn’t it?  I was laying and looking at the stars while we waited for you guys.”

“Not as beautiful as you are,” Howie said softly.

“Oh, God, what a line,” Kayla said before she thought, and Howie burst out laughing.  She blushed.  “Sorry.”

“That’s okay.  You’re right, it DID sound like a line, though I meant every word of it.”  Howie stopped walking and turned to face her.  He gently cupped her face in his hands.  “Kayla, I don’t know what it is about you.  I am really attracted to you physically, but there’s just something about you. I feel like I could empty my heart and soul to you, and I hardly know you.”

“I feel the same way,” she said quietly.  He bent towards her and his lips softly met hers.  She couldn’t help but moan as he put his arms around her, pulling her tight against him.  Their bodies seemed to mold together, and she reached up to run her fingers through his hair.  He was the first to pull back.

“I think we’d better keep walking before we cause a scene right here on the sidewalk,” he said in a teasing tone.  She smiled and snuggled close to him as he put his arm around her again.

“Um…where are we going?”  Kayla asked as they approached one of the side gates to the Fair.

“I thought we could hang on the bus until the others come back.  Do you mind?  I mean, we won’t if you don’t want to.”  Howie looked at her anxiously.  Kayla smiled, wanting nothing more than to be alone with him.

“Of course I don’t mind.”

They re-entered the now deserted fairgrounds, and headed for the lot behind the stage.  The bus was unlocked and Howie helped Kayla up the steps.

“Wow, this is something,” Kayla remarked as she looked around.  They weren’t big stars yet, but the bus was completely furnished.

“Well, we pretty much live here, so we have a little bit of everything.”  He walked her through, giving her the two-minute tour.  “And this is my bunk,” he finished, pointing to a bunk on the driver’s side of the bus.

“Pretty narrow,” Kayla said as she sat down on it.

“I know.  I haven’t fallen off yet, though when the driver hits some of those curves I come pretty close.”  Howie sat down next to her.

Kiss me, Kayla mentally pleaded.  Kiss me again, please.

Once again, Howie seemed to read her mind.  In an instant his arms were around her, and his mouth was on hers.  His tongue gently probed her mouth, and she felt as if she couldn’t get close enough to him.  He brought his hand up to stroke her face as his mouth moved down her jawbone to her neck and ear. When he gently nipped at the skin of her throat, she moaned, pressing his head closer against her skin. 

Her hands trailed up and down his back, and she felt one of his warm palms start to slide up under her shirt.  She knew that this was probably not a good idea, but there was no way she was about to stop him.  His hand came to rest on her breast, and she jumped.  He quickly removed his hand.

“I’m sorry.  This is going too fast.  I shouldn’t have…” he babbled.

“Shh…” Kayla whispered, placing a finger over his lips.  He kissed her fingertip, sending shivers all over her body.

It wasn’t long before both of their shirts and her bra were on the floor by the bunk.  Howie scrunched down the best he could so he could nibble and suck on her breasts.  Kayla’s breath was coming in gasps now, and she clutched at the skin of his shoulders.  He soon moved up to face her.  He was having as much trouble breathing as she was, and she could feel his erection.

“Kayla, do you believe in love at first sight?” He asked, his finger tracing paths from her neck to her waistline and back up again.

“Um…I don’t know,” she mumbled, having a hard time concentrating on anything but his finger.

“Because I think I’m falling in love with you.  It sounds crazy, since we only met a few hours ago, but I really believe I’ve fallen in love with you.  I feel like I can’t be with you enough, can’t talk to you enough, can’t listen to you enough, can’t touch you enough.”

“Oh…god…Howie…” she began.

“No.  Don’t say that it’s wrong or that you think I’m crazy.  Just let me have tonight.”

“That’s not what I was going to say.  I was going to say that I feel exactly the same way,” she said shyly.

“And I want you to know that I have NEVER felt this way about anybody before.  This is not a rehearsed thing, like a choreographed scene or something.  It’s only you,” he said.  Kayla reached up to caress his face, bringing his head down to hers.  The kisses grew more and more intense.  Howie’s hand fumbled with her jeans, and they were soon completely naked.  Howie positioned himself over her.

“Kayla…god…I don’t have any…I wasn’t expecting…maybe AJ has some…” he stammered.

“It’s okay.  Don’t worry about it,” she gasped against his neck, wanting nothing more than to feel him inside of her. 

With a groan, Howie thrust up inside of her.  She screamed his name, placing her hands on his back.  She scratched her nails across his skin.  He moaned again, moving slowly and as deeply as possible.  She pushed against his back, urging him to go faster.  He grabbed her hands and placed them above her head, intertwining her fingers with his.

“Kayla…I love you…” he gasped, feeling himself about to cum.

“I love you, too, Howie!”  She yelled his name, squeezing his fingers tight as she came.  He kissed her neck as he thrust into her one last time.

He rolled to lie beside her.  He pulled her into his arms.  “Come with us,” he said quietly as his hand played up and down her back.

“What would I do on tour with you?”  Kayla asked drowsily.

“We’d find something.  You could be costume manager or something.”

“You’re crazy,” she mumbled before drifting off.

Howie lay awake long after she fell asleep, just enjoying the feeling of her in his arms.  He knew that in a few short hours the dream would end.

The year 2007

Kayla spent the rest of the day wondering around like a zombie.  She kept running into things and people at her office, and hardly even noticed when her boss reprimanded her for being over an hour late.  All she could see was Howie’s smile, and all she could think about was the fact that after all these years, he was back in her town.  More than likely he was already at the hotel, preparing for the show that would be given at the arena downtown.  The place that they were playing was very small; next to nothing compared to the stadiums they had played during the pinnacle of their career, but she was sure they were happy to get whatever they could. The Backstreet Boys had broken up by the end of 2003, totally amicably.  They all worked in the industry one way or another, and this reunion tour was just for fun.  She had heard on the news that Brian and Kevin had settled down and now had wives and families, and she thought she had heard that AJ was already on wife number 3.  She had heard next to nothing about Nick, and Howie…well…any time Howie’s name was mentioned she either changed the channel or flipped to the next page in whatever she was reading.  Even after all these years, she could not bear to learn that he had gotten married and started a family.

“I remember being here,” Kevin said slowly as they left their hotel to take a walk.  “You guys all made fun of the fact that this was a farm town.”

“We didn’t all make fun of it,” Brian pointed out.  “I agreed with you that it was just like home.”

Howie said nothing, lagging behind the other four guys.  He definitely remembered this town.  He wondered if Kayla still lived here.  She’d be 39 now, probably married with five kids or something. He had never even thought to get her last name, so there was no way he could ever try to get in touch with her.  Even after all this time, it was impossible for him to look at any other woman without seeing her face.

“Hey, didn’t the hotel clerk say we were in walking distance of that Fairground where we played?”  He said suddenly.

Everyone turned to look at him.  “Yeah…about a mile or so that way.”  AJ pointed to their left.

“You guys feel like walking out there?  Just for fun…it’s such a nice day,” Howie suggested.

“Sure, D, whatever,” Nick said slowly.  They wondered why in the world he’d want to walk out there, but they had no problem going along with it.

Kayla looked at her watch as she walked to her car.  It was 5:15.  She didn’t have to be at Brandon’s school until seven, and he was going to his friend’s after school.  She got in the car, but didn’t turn the key.  Suddenly, she knew where she wanted to go.  She put the car in gear and spun out of the parking lot.

“They’re setting up for the Fair,” Nick said, peering through the chain.

“Of course they are.  It’s fall,” Kevin pointed out.

The guys walked by the fence, pointing and talking.  Howie stayed where he was, staring at the empty parking lot.  That’s where our bus was, he thought.  That’s where we said goodbye.  That’s the last place I saw her.

Kayla parked her car on the street by the back gates of the Fairground.  She pulled her jacket tighter around her as she made her way to the fences.  It seemed impossible that it had been ten years since that night with Howie.  She remembered everything as if it had been yesterday.  The smile in his eyes…the sound of him saying her name…

“Looks like we’re not the only weirdoes staring at an empty fairground,” AJ said, pointing to a figure leaning against the fence a good distance away.

Howie followed AJ’s finger, and his mouth dropped open.  He broke into a run, yelling over his shoulder.  “I’ll be right back!”

Kayla heard footsteps pounding behind her, and slowly turned around.  Her hand found her car keys in her jacket pocket, ready to use them as a weapon.  The person skidded to a stop.

“Kayla?”  He said softly, his handsome face slowly breaking into a smile.

Kayla stared at the man who stood in front of her with a huge smile on his face.  “Howie?”  She whispered. “Is it…could it…”

“Yes…I…you…” Howie could resist no longer.  He took a step towards her, hesitated, and then wrapped his arms around her.  Kayla hugged him back as hard as she could, crying on his shoulder.  “God, Kayla, I can’t believe it!”  Howie finally said, pulling back to look at her.  He cupped his face in his hands, his eyes searching her face.  “You are even more beautiful than I remembered you.”

She blushed, the warmth of his gaze feeling like sunshine on her soul.  “I can’t believe you remember me.”

“Remember you?  Come on!  I haven’t ever forgotten you.  I could never forget you,” he finished softly.  He leaned forward.  When their lips met, it was as if the years disappeared, and it was 1997 again.

“I never forgot you, either,” she murmured when they broke the kiss.  It was almost impossible, when I have a little mirror image of you sleeping down the hall from me.

“So…uh…I bet you’re married with a dozen kids by now,” Howie said nervously.  Her hands were drawn up into her jacket sleeves, and he couldn’t see if she wore a wedding ring.

She smiled.  “No, just one…and I’m not married.  I never married,” she admitted.

“Oh,” he said, unable to disguise the relief in his voice.  “Me either.  Do you have a daughter or a son?”

“A son…Brandon.”  She almost started to pull out a picture of him, then decided against it.  There was no mistaking the fact that Brandon looked just like his father, and she wasn’t quite ready to approach that subject yet.

“Howie, what the hell are you doing accosting the locals?”  Nick yelled.  Howie rolled his eyes.

“Nothing changes,” Kayla remarked, then laughed.  They started to walk towards the group of men.  Kayla snuggled close to Howie’s chest, his arm firmly around her shoulders.

“Guys, I bet you don’t remember, but this is Kayla.”

“You had two friends,” AJ remembered.  “Are they still single?”

Brian smacked him upside the head.  “Hello, Kayla.”

She smiled at them all.  Age had been kind to them.  At 27, Nick Carter didn’t look a day over 20.  He still had the boyish smile and impish glimmer to his blue eyes.  AJ was pushing thirty, and had retained his lean dancer’s body.  Brian’s smile and manner were as kind and gentle as always, and he did not look anywhere close to his 32 years.  Kevin’s emerald eyes had a few more smile lines around the edges, but at almost 35, he was more handsome than ever.  And Howie…she looked up at him and sighed.

“Um, I hate to break up this little reunion, but we DO have to get ready for a show tonight,” Kevin said softly.  Howie sighed, turning to Kayla.

“I’m sorry,” he began.

“No, it’s alright.  I have to be at my son’s school at seven for his Parent’s Night.” 

“We’ll catch you later, D.  Nice seeing you again, Kayla,” Brian said.  “Come on, guys.”  He led them away, pulling at nosy AJ’s sleeve.

“Kayla, I don’t want to say goodbye already, not after we’ve just found each other again.  Couldn’t I see you tonight?  You could come to the show.  Bring your son,” he suggested eagerly.

She smiled. She didn’t want to say goodbye yet, either.  “I don’t think it’s a good idea to bring him to something like that.  He’s pretty young yet.  How about I ask if he can stay over at his friend’s tonight, and then I’ll find you at the concert after my appointment at the school?”

Howie’s face lit up.  “Fantastic.  I will leave your name at the security desk so you can come backstage.  Um…what IS your last name?”  He asked, wishing with all his heart that it were Dorough.

She laughed, and told him her name.   She gave him one last hug and big kiss.  “I’ll see you later,” she murmured in his ear.  She turned and hurried towards her car as he began to briskly walk back to the motel.  With a shout, he broke into a run, just as she laughed out loud and began to skip to her car.

The marquee misspelled his name/And not too many people came/But that didn’t matter to them/they laughed and loved all through the night/And as they faced the morning light/They found themselves standing there again…

What if she doesn’t show up?  Howie asked himself as he paced backstage. What if it was all a mirage?  Maybe I just imagined her there.  He looked at the guys.  Who could he ask without looking like an idiot?

“Brian,” he said, turning a folding chair around so he sat facing the back.  “I have a really odd question for you.”

“Shoot,” Brian replied, bending down to tie his shoes.

“We went to the Fairground this afternoon, right?  And I saw Kayla there, right?”  He asked timidly, feeling like a fool.

Brian looked up, smiling broadly.  “Yes, Howie, we did, and you did.”  He looked at Howie’s face, recognizing his expression immediately.  It was the same way he knew his face looked every time he even THOUGHT about his wife, Amanda.  “You really love her, don’t you, D?”

“It’s weird, I know.  I mean, I only met her that one time.  But it was like nothing I’ve experienced before, or since.  No other woman has ever made me forget her.”

Brian stood and slapped Howie on the back.  “Good luck, bro.”

Kayla was surprised at how easy it was to find a parking space downtown.  She kept making herself realize that they were no longer as popular as they had been years before.  She looked up at the marquee above the front door and burst out laughing.  “The Backstreet Boys” was the only part of it that was spelled correctly.  “Nick Cartier, AJ McClean, Kevyn Richardson, Brian Litrel, and Howie Dorogh.”  She sighed and went up to the ticket counter.  She could hear the music starting and mentally begged the clerk to hurry.

Nick peeked out around the curtain.  “There’s not many people out there, guys.”

“We knew this would happen, remember, Nicky?  We knew that a lot of people had forgotten about us,” Brian pointed out.

“There’s a lot of beautiful women out there, though,” Nick observed, straining to see more.

“Where?  Get the hell out of my way!”  AJ snapped, grabbing Nick by the collar and yanking him back.

“Kayla was right…some things never DO change,” Howie said with a smile.

Kayla found her seat, which was in the middle of the room in the middle of a row.  As she looked around at the many empty seats, she remembered that the DJ had said they’d be performing down at the fairgrounds, even though the fair hadn’t opened yet.  She assumed that they hadn’t sold many tickets, so they had moved to a smaller venue.  She didn’t care.  All she knew was that Howie was back, and she had a great seat to watch them perform.

“Yo…D…there’s your woman,” AJ called.  Howie jumped up, knocking over his chair.

“Where?”  He grabbed AJ by the collar and yanked him out of the way.  He tried to see around the curtain without the crowd seeing him.  “Where, AJ?”

“In the middle, about halfway up.”

“I don’t…” Howie began, then interrupted himself.  There she was.  She was really there.

 

Kayla eyes wandered around the room, finally resting on the huge maroon curtain onstage.  She saw the curtain move, and her eyes followed the ripple to the left side of the stage.  There was a face peeping out around the curtain.  The face was looking right at her, and she couldn’t help but laugh.  She waved at Howie.

Howie mentally begged Kayla to look in his direction, and she finally did.  He could see her laugh, and then she waved.  He gave a discreet wave back, and then disappeared back behind the curtain.

“She saw you, right?”  Brian said, laughing at the huge smile on Howie’s face.

“Yeah,” he said softly, ready to give the performance of his life, just so he could make this concert go quickly and be back in Kayla’s arms as soon as possible.

Kayla stood and cheered with everyone else after the last number.  The guys had not lost any of their talent, and their show was still something that could not be forgotten.  They still had all the moves, could still pull off all the dance routines, and still had the females screaming in the aisles.  The only change was the lack of pure sexuality that had come through in a lot of their dance routines.  This didn’t mean the guys weren’t sexy.  If anything, maturity had made them sexier.

Kayla waited for the crowd to thin out some, and made her way to one of the side doors that led backstage.  “I’m supposed to be meeting one of the guys,” she informed the security guard, giving him her name.  “I’m supposed to be on your list.”

He nodded, pinning a Security tag to her jacket.  The other guard held the door for her and she began to walk down the dimly lit corridor.  She was a bit apprehensive.  This all seemed so strange…but so right at the same time.  She heard laughter coming from a room on the left, and assumed that the guys were in there changing.  She knocked on the door, which was slightly ajar.

“Who is it?”  She heard AJ yell.

“It’s Kayla,” she called back, feeling a bit shy.

Howie threw open the door.  “Hi, Kayla!” His face lit up with that beautiful smile.

“D, come on, I’m not dressed yet!” Nick snapped, jumping behind a pile of suitcases and boxes.

“Come on, Nick, it’s not like she hasn’t seen it before.  She has a child,” Kevin pointed out.

“Well, she hasn’t seen mine,” Nick retorted, quickly pulling on a pair of jeans.

“And she probably doesn’t want to,” Kevin fired back, making everyone but Nick laugh.

“I’m outta here, guys.  See you later.”  Howie took Kayla’s hand and led her out of the room.

“Where are we going?”  Kayla asked, giggling as he started to jog down the hall, pulling her after her.

“Anywhere we can be alone.  My hotel room.  I don’t care.  Let’s just go.”

 

Kayla stared up at the imposing doorway of the Regent, the most expensive hotel in her town.  “You’re staying here?”

“Um…well…no.  It’s a bit too expensive for the group.  But not for you.”  They went to the elevator and Howie pushed the button for the tenth floor.

“The penthouse?  Howie…” she began to protest.

“I think I can afford one night in a place like this.  You are totally worth it,” he told her, pressing against her until her back was flat against the wall of the elevator.  His hands reached up to cup her face and as he was about to kiss her, the bell dinged and the doors began to open.

He frowned, but took her hand and silently led her out of the elevator.  They stopped at the only room on the floor: the penthouse.  Howie unlocked the door and allowed Kayla to walk in first.

“God, this is gorgeous!”  She murmured, looking around at the beautiful living room, which even had a Jacuzzi tub in the corner.  She wandered around, poking her head into the giant bathroom, and the bedroom with the king sized bed.  Howie called down to room service, ordering some champagne.  She made her way back into the living room, and stood before him, feeling suddenly nervous.

“This is weird, isn’t it?”  He asked after he hung up the phone.

“Yeah,” she whispered.  He moved to stand directly in front of her.  He placed his hands on her shoulders.

“Kayla, I still feel the same about you.  Nothing has changed.”

“Howie, I find that hard to believe.  It’s been ten years.  I don’t…”

“Nothing has changed,” he repeated.  “I still love you.  I still want you to be with me.  I kicked myself a hundred times for not getting your phone number, or even your last name.”

“It wouldn’t have worked out anyway, Howie.  Not with you on the road all the time.  I couldn’t have handled that.”  Not to mention the fact that your publicist wouldn’t have liked the fact that you had a son, she thought.

“All that has changed.  I am a producer now.  I haven’t done anything REALLY big, but I keep food on my table and a roof over my head.  Nothing like the Backstreet Boys days, but I’m not starving on the street.”  He moved to kiss her, but the doorbell rang. “Dammit, what is with these bells?”  He muttered.  She laughed as he went to the door and paid the room service attendant.  Kayla grabbed her small duffel that she had retrieved from her car before they entered the hotel, and went into the bathroom.  About twenty minutes later, she came out.

“I was beginning to think you had fallen in.  You know, champagne’s no good when…” Howie stopped in mid sentence.  Kayla stood before him in an ankle length wine colored satin nightgown.  Thin spaghetti straps criss-crossed over her back, and the lace bodice plunged low, exposing her ample cleavage.  “Uh…um…champagne?”  Howie squeaked.  He cleared his throat, and handed her a glass of champagne.  He said nothing more. 

“I…uh…I thought…” Kayla began to blush, feeling stupid.  She hurriedly drank her champagne.

“Wow,” Howie finally got out.  He set down their glasses and took her hand.  He led her to the bedroom. 

With shaking hands she unbuttoned his shirt, and slid the material down his arms and off of his body.  His body was still as toned and firm as it had been ten years earlier.  She sighed as he turned her around so her back was to him.  He began to nibble and kiss at her neck and ears as his hands rubbed gently up and down her arms.

“It’s going to be different this time,” he murmured in her ear.  “We’re all alone, in a huge bed, in a huge suite, with all the room in the world.  And I intend on taking advantage of it.”

She whimpered as his hands found her breasts, tracing them through the lace of the nightgown.  He swept her long hair aside and began to trail kisses from her ears down to her shoulders.  She turned around and put her arms around him, pulling his head to hers in a passionate kiss.  He began to walk her backwards until her legs hit the bed.  He turned her around so he could sit, and he began to suck and kiss her breasts and stomach through the material of the nightgown.

Kayla could feel Howie’s warm breath through the nightgown, and she felt her legs begin to quiver.  He felt it as well, and stood in front of her.  He placed his hands at her hips, and began to slowly bunch the material up in his hands, pulling it so he could take it off.  She slowly raised her arms, and he pulled the nightgown up and off.  His eyes raked her body, causing her to blush. 

“I remembered you being beautiful, but I didn’t remember you being this beautiful,” he said, his voice suddenly husky and soft.  She moved her hands across his chest and down to his belt, undoing the buckle with shaking fingers.   She unbuttoned his pants and slowly unzipped them, pulling them down.  He wore nothing underneath.  His erect cock stood out, and she ran a finger across it.  He hissed in his breath.

Howie took Kayla in his arms, and gently lay her on the bed, moving to lie next to her.  His mouth tasted her cheeks, her chin, her ears, her throat, as his hand explored her breasts.  The hand soon trailed down her stomach, to the warmth between her legs.  She arched off the bed, gasping his name, as his thumb lightly teased her clit while his fingers began to slide inside of her.  She was filled with such longing for him that it only took a few strokes of his fingers before she came, her body shuddering.  He kissed her cheek, whispering sweet words in her ear as she caught her breath.  She rolled him over so he was on his back.

She slowly made her way down his chest, enjoying the feeling of his smooth skin and taunt muscles under her hands and lips.  When she reached his midsection, she lovingly ran her tongue up and down his cock before finally taking it in her mouth.

“Oh…god…Kayla…” he gasped, moaning and grasping the sheets in his hand.  She slowly and tantalizingly sucked him, using her hand to stroke him.  Finally, he could not take it any more.  He pulled her up to face him, quickly flipping her onto her back.  With one quick motion he wrapped her legs around his waist, and thrust into her.  She arched again, pulling her fingernails down his back. 

Howie wanted to make it last.  He wanted to spend hours making love to her.  She had gotten him so worked up that he didn’t think he could last, though.  He looked down into her eyes.  “I love you, Kayla,” he said, thrusting slower.

“I love you, too, Howie,” she said, moving her hips up to meet him as she felt the orgasm begin to wash over her.  He pinned her hands above her head, weaving his fingers in with hers as they orgasmed together.

Kayla lay with her head on Howie’s chest, enjoying the feeling of his hands on her back.

“Tell me about your son,” he said suddenly.

“Um…his name is Brandon.  He’s very intelligent, but all boy.  He likes baseball and basketball, and he has decided he either wants to be an archaeologist or a guard for the Chicago Bulls when he grows up.”

Howie laughed.  “He sounds like a handful.  What does he look like?”

“He has dark hair and dark eyes.  Like me.”  And like you, she mentally added.

“He sounds great.  I wish I would have had kids.  I just never found anyone I wanted to settle down with.  No one besides you.”

They lay there chatting for about an hour or so before Kayla announced she was hungry.  Howie went out to the living room to get the room service menu while Kayla sat up and tried to find something to watch on TV.  Because of the hour, there wasn’t much on, so she settled on the Infomercial Channel.

“I got us some cheeseburgers and fries.  I wasn’t sure what you liked.”  Howie suddenly realized that he didn’t know much about Kayla at all…except that he loved her.

“Sounds great,” she replied.  He plopped onto the bed beside her.

“The Infomercial Channel!  I love this!”  He exclaimed.  She looked at him skeptically.  “No, really!  When I’m up late working and feel like I’m gonna fall asleep, I watch this and it makes me laugh.”

They settled back into bed, only moving when Howie got up to answer the door for room service.  They talked and laughed most of the night, making love more than once.  They were still awake when the sun came up.

Howie lay with his head on Kayla’s chest, her fingers running through his dark hair.  “Come with me,” he mumbled.

“What?”  She wasn’t sure she had heard him right. 

“Come with me, back to California.  Bring your son.  We could play on the beach all day long, make love all night.  He could go to a great school out there, and he’d have the ocean as his playground.  Maybe we could even change his goals to marine biology or the LA Lakers,” Howie suggested.   Kayla didn’t say anything.  She didn’t know what to say.  “I don’t want to lose you again, Kayla,” he said finally, squeezing her tightly.

“You won’t,” she promised.  “But I can’t leave here.  Brandon likes his school, and we have family and friends here.”  But a part of her yearned to go wherever Howie went.

“I understand,” he said finally.  He looked at the clock and groaned.  “I need to get moving.  I have to meet the guys…we’ll be leaving soon.”

A single tear crept down Kayla’s cheek.  She hated the thought of him leaving again.  It was like ten years before all over again.  He moved up to sit next to her, wiping the tear away.

“I’m not gonna let you go, Kayla.  I’ll be in contact all the time, and I’ll come back, and you and Brandon can come visit, okay?”

“You’ll be busy, and the money…”

“Screw the money.  I’ll find it somehow.  I have SOME savings,” he said, but she looked at him doubtfully.  There had been many stories of how the guys blew a lot of their earnings once the group broke up.  “Just wait and see, okay?  But promise me that you’ll keep in touch.”

“Of course,” she promised. He kissed her cheek and got up to take a shower.

Kayla drove Howie back to the hotel where the guys were staying, and sat on the bed while he packed his few bags.  She couldn’t help the tears that slid down her face, and she tried her best not to sob.  Howie closed his last suitcase and sat down next to her, taking her in his arms. 

“Kayla, baby, I’m not letting you go.  Come with me, please, if not today, then soon,” he pleaded, kissing her tear-streaked cheeks.

“Howie, I can’t.  I can’t just pick everything up and follow you across the country.  It’s too risky,” she protested, though her heart body and soul yearned to be with him wherever he went.

He sighed and said nothing.  He stood and picked up his bags, setting them outside the door for the crew to pick up.  He shut the door and locked it, glancing at his watch.  As he walked towards her, he began to remove his shirt.  She stared at him open mouthed.  “I want to make love to you one last time. I won’t take no for an answer to this.”

A knock on the door startled them both about a half-hour later.  They had just finished making the most passionate love either of them had ever experienced.  “Yo, D, we gotta roll,” they heard Brian call.

“Okay!”  Howie yelled back.  He and Kayla silently pulled their clothes on.  He hugged her tightly before they left the room.  They made their way down to the elevator where the other guys were waiting.  AJ’s eyes widened at the sight of Kayla, but all he said was hello.

Howie lagged behind as the other guys climbed aboard the bus.  He did not make an effort to hide the tears that streamed down his face.  He pulled Kayla into his arms, leaning his forehead against hers.  “I love you, Kayla.  I will call as soon as I’m home.”

“Okay,” she whispered, not expecting to ever hear from him again.  “I love you, too, Howie.”

He gave her one last kiss, then turned towards the bus.  Kayla turned away, not able to watch him go.  She stood immobile, sobbing, waiting to hear the bus shift into gear and move out.  Then she would be able to watch.  The bus idled for a long time, and then it finally moved out of its parking space. 

Kayla slowly turned around and watched the bus through the cloud of dust it had kicked up.  She blinked as dust particles covered her eyes.  She rubbed her eyes a few times, then gasped as she saw someone walking towards her.

“Howie!  What…” She tried to stop sobbing as he approached her.  “What the hell are you doing?”

“I can’t do it.  I can’t do the tour.  I can’t go back to California.  I can’t do anything, not without you.  I’ll stay here.”

“WHAT?”  She yelled. “Howie, you’re crazy!  We hardly know each other!  You need the money…”

“Kayla, will you freaking FORGET about the money for five minutes?  I can fly to New York if I need to; the company has offices there.  I want to be with you.  I want to get to know your son.  I want to marry you.  I love you.  Don’t you want me to stay?”  For the first time, Howie was uncertain about his change of plans.  Kayla’s face broke out into a big smile, and she threw herself into his arms.

“Yes!  I want you to stay!  I want to marry you!” 

And he asked her twice to come along/They said good-bye at the break of dawn/As his bus left out she cried/With him standing by her side/That ol’ wind had once again found its way home…

A few months later

Someday he’ll tell her about the money he hid/And someday she’ll tell him that the boy is his kid…

“Come on, dude, let’s take these boxes of clothes to your room,” Howie called to Brandon.  The boy ran over to him, but instead of picking up a box, he tackled his stepfather, making them both fall to the ground.

Kayla sighed as she watched them wrestle.  She couldn’t help but smile as Howie and his lookalike son got their clothes covered in grass stains.  She placed a hand on her stomach and smiled a secret smile.  Tonight after dinner, when Brandon was in bed, she’d tell him about her special news…and perhaps even about Brandon.

“Okay, guys, I don’t think that’s helping us get moved in,” she scolded gently.  Two pair of dark brown eyes stared up at her guiltily.

“Yes, Mom.”

“Yes, hon.”

Kayla burst out laughing, unable to keep a straight face. Brandon picked up a box and headed up to his room, and Howie came over and hugged his wife of a month.  “I’m so glad we got this house, Kayla.  It’s perfect for us.  A study for me, an office for you, and a huge room for all Brandon’s toys.”

“I still don’t know how you got the money…” Kayla began.  An almost angry look from her husband shut her up.  “But that doesn’t matter.  All that matters is that we’re here, and we’re together.”

Howie kissed her cheek and got back to carrying boxes while she concentrated on the kitchen.  As she hung some knickknacks on the walls, she remembered their small but sweet wedding.  Only close friends and immediate family were invited, which of course included all of the Backstreet Boys and their families.  She couldn’t believe that she was pregnant again, at 39.  She was excited, though.  She wanted nothing more than to complete their little family with another child.  She just hoped Howie would understand when she told him about Brandon.

As Howie lugged some large boxes into what would be their bedroom, he thought about how he would tell Kayla exactly where the money for the house had come from.  Everyone thought that the Backstreet Boys had blown their fortunes once the group broke up, because that’s what had happened to Nick and AJ.  They both lived too fast and too well for unemployed pop stars, and they quickly ran through their savings.  Kevin and Brian had saved wisely, which was good since they started families almost immediately.  Howie had taken a chance and invested a large chunk of money in the stock market, and had hit big early, earning almost double what he had invested.  He quickly took the money out and put it into different types of savings accounts and bonds.  At the moment, neither he nor Kayla would never have to work again.  He was worth well over 15 million dollars.

“Can Howie tuck me in?”  Brandon asked after he had brushed his teeth.  Kayla smiled and nodded.  Her son and his father had hit it off instantly, and she loved seeing them together.  She knew her son would be ecstatic when he found out that Howie was really his dad and not just his stepfather.

“Good night, sweetheart.”  She kissed and hugged her son and sent him down to Howie, who was waiting outside Brandon’s room.

Brandon jumped into bed, and Howie checked under the bed and in the closet, their usual nightly ritual.   “Nope.  No monsters tonight.  Too bad.”

“Oh, Howie,” Brandon said, rolling his eyes and smiling.  Howie sat on the edge of the bed and pulled up the covers.  “Howie, can I ask you a favor?”

“Sure, buddy, what is it?”

“Can I call you Dad?  I never knew my dad; my mom doesn’t talk about him at all, but I feel like you’re my dad already.”  Brandon stared up at Howie anxiously, and Howie felt tears jump to his eyes.

“Of course you can,” Howie said hoarsely.  “I would love it.  I wish I WAS your dad.”

They chatted for a bit more, and Howie stood, turning off the lamp.  As he reached the door, he heard a soft, “Good night, Daddy.”

Howie went down to the kitchen, where Kayla was washing dishes.  Usually he would pitch in and help, but this night he just sat down at the table.  She turned and stared at him.  “Everything okay?”

“Brandon asked if he could call me daddy,” he replied.  She put down the dishcloth and came to sit across from him.

“How does that make you feel?”  She asked cautiously.

“Wonderful.  I’d love to adopt him, and make him truly my son.”  He sighed.  “I wish you’d tell me who his father was, Kayla.  I have tried not to bug you about it, but I feel I have the right to know.”

Kayla ignored that comment and moved on.  “What do you think of babies, Howie?”

“I’ve told you before.  I love kids,” he replied.  She knew it was true, after seeing him with Kevin and Brian’s children, and with Brandon.

“Well, how about if it was YOUR baby?”  She said softly.  He stared at her, and then his beautiful smile lit up his face.

“MY baby?  You mean we’re…you’re…” He jumped up from his chair and rushed over to hug her.  “Oh…Kayla…you’ve just made me the happiest man alive?”

“We’ll see,” she said under her breath.  She gently pushed him away.  “What would you think of being a daddy twice?”

“You mean…twins?”  He asked incredulously.

“N-no,” she stammered.  He sat down, giving her a confused look.  “Howie, the reason that I haven’t mentioned Brandon’s father is because…well…you’re his father.  I found out I was pregnant after that night at the fair, and…well…he’s your son.”  She couldn’t bring herself to look at him.

“My son?  Brandon is mine?  You mean all these years…” he jumped up from the table angrily.  “You should have told me, Kayla!”

“How could I, Howie?  Just call a stadium somewhere and say, ‘hello, my name’s Kayla…I’m the mother of Howie Dorough’s son, Brandon Dwaine.’?”  Kayla defended herself.  “There’s no way I could have reached you, Howie!  Besides, it was better this way.  You were twenty-four years old.  You would not have been interested in a child.”

“That was MY decision to make, Kayla, not yours,” he pointed out.  His eyes filled with tears.  “All these years I’ve had a son and never knew it.”

“I’m sorry, Howie.  I also didn’t want you to worry about supporting him…or me,” she said softly.

“Once again, that was MY decision to make!”  He shouted.

“Stop it!”  A little voice yelled.  They both whirled around to see Brandon standing in the doorway to the kitchen.  His dark eyes were big.  “Please stop yelling at each other.  Stop fighting!”

“Oh, buddy, I’m sorry,” Howie said.  Brandon went to his mother and she pulled him onto her lap.

“I’m sorry, too, Brandon.  I didn’t mean to waken you,” Kayla said, kissing his forehead.

“Are you and Daddy getting a divorce?”  He asked sorrowfully.  Howie came to kneel next to them.

“Of course not.  I love your mommy, more than ever now,” he said, his eyes meeting Kayla’s.  “And you know what?  In a few months Mommy’s going to give us a new brother or sister for you.”

“Really?  Wow,” Brandon said sleepily, laying his head on his mother’s shoulder.

“Come on, bud.  I’ll carry you in.”  Howie picked up his son and easily carried him back to his room.  He soon returned.

“Can you forgive me?” Kayla asked miserably.  Howie pulled her to her feet and took her in his arms.

“Of course I can.  This is so wonderful, Kayla.  Two children in one day!”  She smiled as he kissed her cheek.  “Now there’s something I have to be honest with YOU about.”  They sat again.  “You keep mentioning money.  You’re right, some of us did run through our savings rather quickly.”

“Let me guess.  AJ and Nick,” Kayla said.  Howie nodded.

“Kevin and Brian had been saving their money, knowing they would need it for their families.  I, however, didn’t save mine.”

“You see, I…”

“Let me finish, baby, okay?  I invested mine, and happened to be lucky.  Very lucky.  As soon as I had increased my initial investment, I pulled it out and put it into some different accounts.  We will never have to worry about money.”

“How lucky?”  She asked skeptically.

“Fmmmeidhohhjfff,” he mumbled.

“Excuse me?”  She asked.

“Fifteen million dollars,” he said bashfully, looking up at her.

“Fifteen mil…oh my god,” she stared at him.  “No wonder we could afford this house!”

“I wanted to tell you, but you just assumed that I had wasted all my money, too,” he pointed out, raising an eyebrow.  Kayla blushed.

“I’m sorry, Howie.  I should have trusted what you told me.”

He stood, pulling her up again.  In an instant, he swept her up into his arms.  “Now, I am going to make love to my wife, again and again, until we both pass out.”

She giggled in protest as he carried her up the stairs.

But for right now they’re both in love/The only thing they’re thinking of/Is that they’re finally where their hearts have always been…

 

The End

 

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