Wading

By: Lara

 

 

“He’s a baby.”

Those were the first words out of Chris Kirkpatrick’s mouth when he met Wade Robeson for the first time.  He couldn’t help it.  He watched Wade shaking JC’s hand as Justin introduced them, and it was all he could think.  He looked at Joey.

“Don’t you think so?”

Joey shrugged.  “Dude, compared to you, everyone’s a baby,” Joey said, grinning.  Chris didn’t smile back.

“We might as well have Justin choreograph for us, if we’re gonna start hiring out of daycare,” Chris grumbled.  Joey gave him an odd look.

“Whatever.”  Joey ambled over to introduce himself, but Chris stayed where he was.  Lance walked over.

“Hey, Chris…so…guess that’s him.  The wonderboy.”

“Yeah…he doesn’t look like much.”  Chris eyed Wade up and down.  He dressed normal, looked normal…his eyebrows were kinda weird…he had weird hair…not that he, Chris, had room to talk, but still.  No big deal.

“Yeah, but look at what he did to Britney,” Lance pointed out.  “Maybe he can give us some new moves.”

“I don’t want new moves, especially from him,” Chris said stubbornly.  Lance stared at him.

“Well, I can use the help,” Lance said finally, walking over with his hand outstretched.  Chris frowned.  He didn’t like this kid, this baby, this Wade.

Justin led Wade over.  “Dude, this is Chris. He’s like the old man, but he’s crazy.  Chris, this is Wade.  Awesome songwriter, brilliant dancer.”

“I’m not all that,” Wade said bashfully, and Chris could tell he was being honestly modest.  He didn’t like Wade.

“Chris,” he said, shoving his hand out.  “I hear you can teach us to dance better.  I’m sure we can use the help. Except maybe JC and Justin.”

“Well, I’ll do my best,” Wade said nervously, obviously taken aback by Chris’ brusque manner.  Chris nodded and went back to where his duffel bag was.  Lance followed him.

“You okay, Chris?”

“Yeah,” Chris said, taking a slurp out of his water bottle.  Things were gonna change, and he didn’t like it.

 

“Hey, Chris, wait up!” Lance said, jogging after Chris. Chris turned, smiling.  He always smiled when Lance singled him out.  Of course, he smiled all the time, but he knew the smile was real when Lance singled him out.

“Yeah, Lance?”

“We’re going over to Wade’s after we clean up…gonna have pizza and beer.  You coming?”

“Wade’s not old enough to drink,” Chris snapped.  Lance frowned.

“That never stopped me or Justin or JC or Joey,” he pointed out. “And I remember you encouraging us.”

“Well, I’ve grown up now, and maybe you guys should do the same,” Chris retorted.  Lance’s eyes darkened.

“Suit yourself. See you tomorrow.”  Lance turned on his heel and went out of the building.

“Fucking Wade,” Chris mumbled on the way to his car.  Wade had ruined everything.

Not only was Wade Mr. Dance, he was also Mr. Writing, Mr. Personality, and Mr. Homosexual.  Chris hated everything about Wade.  He hated that Wade could dance.  He hated that Wade was such a good teacher that even LANCE was improving. He hated that Wade was funny. He always had everyone laughing…except Chris, of course.  Chris thought his jokes and remarks were dumb, but he even had JC giggling in that crazy high-pitched giggle of his.  Chris pasted on a smile, so no one would bitch at him, but he didn’t think what Wade said was at all funny.  And Wade was patient. If Joey or Lance didn’t get a certain step, Wade would patiently stay after rehearsal to work on it with him.  And although he didn’t have half the money they did, he refused to let them pay for his meals or anything when they’d order in. They paid his check, he said, and that was enough.

Wade was gay.  Chris knew it. It wasn’t stated…oh no…no one would DARE to ask Wade what his preference was…but it was obvious.  Obvious in the way his eyes followed JC’s every move.  Obvious in the way he threw an arm around Justin while they talked.  Chris had even found Wade’s eyes studying him, but he made sure that Wade knew he wasn’t interested.  Not in Wade, anyway.  Yes, everyone loved Wade.  He wondered how much they’d love Wade if they knew he was all about getting into their collective pants.

“Chris.”  Chris slowly turned around as he was about to unlock the door of his Cruiser.

“Yes, Wade?”

“Um…you wanna come over tonight with the guys?  We’re letting Joey buy the beer, since he did so good today at rehearsal.”  Wade smiled that kind smile and Chris wanted to chew him up and spit him out into unchoreographed, untalented pieces.

“Nah…I’m…uh…I’m tired.”  Chris arched the muscles in his back. “I might have pulled something.”

“Really?  God, I’m sorry. Here.”  Wade stepped behind Chris.  “I know a little about massage.  Let me see if there’s a knot or anything…” Wade’s hands began to move across Chris’ back.

“No.”  Chris moved away.  “I’m fine.  Go ahead…they’ll be at your place soon.  See you.”  Chris got into his car and squealed out of the parking lot. He only felt minor satisfaction at the way Wade was left standing there alone.

 

The following week Justin had a party.  Wade, of course, was invited.  Wade was going to be running the music.  Chris usually ran the music at the parties.  Wade was a dickhead.

“I don’t feel well,” Chris said the day of the party.  Lance looked at him anxiously.

“You okay?” His hand went on Chris’ forehead just as Wade walked over.  “Chris is sick,” Lance said to Wade.  Chris shrugged away from Lance’s hand.

“It’s not a big deal,” he said, knowing what would happen next.  Wade would act all concerned about him, and everyone would think how kind and considerate Wade was.

“Oh, shit, that sucks, man,” Wade said. “You’ll still come to the party tonight, right?  We’d hate for you not to be there.”

“I’m sure you’ll do just fine without me,” Chris said, picking up his bag. “I’m going home.”  He strode out the door without another word, ignoring Lance’s voice calling his name.

 

Of course he went to the party anyway.  Wade was behind the music table, surrounded by girls…and Lance and Joey.  Chris frowned.  He and Joey always hung together at parties…made fun of everyone and drank.  And Lance shouldn’t be with Wade anyway.  Wade was a damn bad influence.

“Chris!”  Justin said happily.  He hurried over to hug him.  “Hey, I’m so glad you’re here!”

“Thanks, Justin,” Chris said, finally smiling a sincere smile.  Justin did that to you. 

“Wade and everyone are over there.” Justin pointed in a vague direction.  Chris frowned.

“Yeah, I see.”

Joey’s face lit up as Chris approached.  “You made it!”

“Yeah, I wasn’t as sick as I thought,” he said.  He looked at Wade and said, “Yet.” 

“Let’s get a drink, Chris.”  Lance took Chris by the hand and led him to the kitchen.  “So…wanna tell me about you having the hots for Wade?”

“What?” Chris screamed. The music stopped and everyone piled into the kitchen to stare at them. “I don’t want WADE.  I want YOU, Lance!”

Lance grabbed him and kissed him. “I want you, too, Chris.  Wade’s a prick.”

 

That’s how Chris WANTED it to go down. Instead, he looked at Lance and said, “What? I don’t have the hots for Wade!”

“But you’re always busting on him and being rude to him,” Lance said, looking confused.  “Remember, when you’re in elementary school, you always pick on the one you like the most?”

“Well, I’m not IN elementary school, Lance, and I don’t like Wade.  Wade’s…” Chris started to rant, then he looked at Lance.  Lance had a weird look on his face.  “Wade’s not my type,” he finished.  “And what makes you think I like men at all?”

“Because I’m not blind,” Lance said finally. 

“Wade likes men,” Chris said quickly, eager to point out any problems Wade might have.  “It’s so obvious.  Wade likes JC.  Wade likes Justin. Wade might even like you, Lance.”

“You think so?”  Lance looked way too intrigued by this information. Chris frowned.

“Yeah…I think Wade’s probably a slut.  Nslut…that’s our choreographer.”  He walked over to a cooler and grabbed two bottles of beer.  “Talk to you later.”  He strode out to Justin’s deck and sat on the porch swing. 

 

“Hey, Chris.”  Wade plopped down on the swing next to Chris.  Chris frowned, then looked at him.

“Hello, Wade.  I thought I heard the music stop.”

“Yeah, I needed a break…and no one could find you to take my place behind the table.”

“I’m sure no one ever COULD take your place, Wade,” Chris said sarcastically, peeling the label from his bottle of beer.

“Wow, thanks, Chris, but I’m sure that’s not true,” Wade said, blushing.  Chris stared at him, wondering how someone could be so damn clueless.  “Listen, Chris, I needed to ask you something.  Do you have a minute?”

“I don’t know, Wade…my schedule’s kinda tight here,” Chris said dryly.  This time Wade got it.

“That’s funny,” he said, smiling.  “See…I…well…” Wade actually fidgeted and for the first time Chris enjoyed being in his presence.  “Well…I think I’m gay, okay…”

“You are,” Chris told him, and enjoyed the look of discomfort on Wade’s face.

“Wow…it’s that obvious. Anyway…I kinda like someone…and I don’t know how to go about telling them.”

“And you’re asking me?”

“I just…you’re the oldest, and…I don’t know.”  Wade ran a hand through his short hair.  “I feel most comfortable talking to you about it.”

Chris stared at him, almost feeling guilty.  “Me?”

“Yeah,” Wade said earnestly. “Anyway…”

“Hey, guys, what’s going on?”  Joey walked up, smiling at Wade.  “You look cozy.”

“Go away, Joe,” Chris snapped.  Joey looked hurt.

“What’s going on?”

“Go…away…” Chris looked up at him and scowled.  “Me and Wade are talking.”

“God, guess you ARE cozy.”  Joey turned on one heel and left.

“That was kinda rude, man.”

“Too bad,” Chris replied to Wade.  “Go on.”

“See…I like someone…one of the guys…not you,” Wade clarified quickly.  “And…damn, I mean…he’s so hot.  He’s incredible, and I love working with him…and I’m afraid to bring it up.  I’m not even sure he’s gay.”

“Who?” Chris asked almost eagerly.  Wade opened his mouth, then changed his mind.

“Never mind…I…I better deal with this on my own. Thanks, though.”  Wade got up and walked away before Chris could reply.

Lance soon walked up to take Wade’s place.  “You guys are getting along now?”

“We always did get along,” Chris pointed out.  Lance stood up again.

“Whatever.  I’m just glad you’re being nice to him now.”  Lance walked away and Chris pouted into his beer.

Stupid Wade.  Dumbass teenybopper Wade.  Wade had the hots for someone, not Chris, but someone.  Joey?  Justin?  JC?  Lance.  He’d better not touch Lance.  Lance deserved someone wonderful.  Chris had watched over Lance for years, keeping an eye on who Lance got involved with.  Lance deserved the best.  Not him, and definitely not Wade.  Wade was nothing.  But Wade had a crush on someone in the group…and Chris was determined to find out who. 

 

Chris became Wade’s new best friend over the next few months.  Wade looked pleased.  He liked Chris, and Chris was so much fun. Chris always laughed at his jokes.  Chris helped him put stuff away after rehearsal. Chris listened to him talk.  Chris never rubbed in the fact that Wade was gay. It never crossed Wade’s mind that Chris might have been gay, too.

 

Chris reached Joey’s side at the same time Wade did.  “Oh, Jesus,” Chris whispered. “Hang in there, Joe.”

“I called nine one one,” Lance said breathlessly.  He fell to his knees by Joey, who was rolling on the ground, moaning in pain.

“Hold on, Joey,” Wade whispered. “It’ll be okay, dude.”  His slender hand ran over Joey’s head.  Chris grabbed Joey’s hand, his eyes meeting Wade’s.  All anger, all resentment, it was all forgotten. Joey was all that mattered.

 

“So…yeah…go ahead and do it,” Joey said finally, woozy from the medicine.  “Wade…do it.”

“But…I’m not you.  I can’t do this like you,” Wade protested, and Chris was shocked at the honesty in his tone.

“Wade, you choreographed the damn thing,” JC pointed out. “And helped write the song.  You’re the only one who CAN do it.”

“Yeah, Wade,” Chris said finally.  “We want you to.”

“Okay,” Wade said, sighing.  Joey sat up in bed and Wade gave him a long hug. “We’ll see you on the set in a couple of days, Joe.  Love you, man.”

“Love you, too. All you guys,” Joey said, smiling drowsily.  They left the hospital room, mentally preparing to film a video without one of their group.

 

Chris stood in the group of beautiful girls, pretending to be interested for the MTV cameras.  In all honesty, he wanted to be over by Lance.  He wanted to be next to Lance, smelling Lance’s cologne and laughing over Lance’s shoulder.  The more he had talked to Wade, the more Chris had come to realize that Wade wanted Lance…and this only made him want Lance more. Dammit, why couldn’t he just come out to Lance about it all?  Lance knew he was gay. Fine.  But he didn’t know Chris was extremely Lance-sexual.  Sometimes Chris thought Lance was gay. Sometimes he didn’t.  All the time, however, he wanted him.

 

“Five minutes, guys,” Wade said. “I need to make a call.” He picked up his cellphone and wandered around the corner.  Chris saw Lance pick up HIS cellphone and head the other direction.  Chris discreetly followed Wade and hid behind a piece of set.  “Yeah…I miss you, too. I hate not being able to just tell you in person.”  Chris bit his fist.  “Yeah, I know.  Maybe we could tell them after this is all done. I mean, today was stressful.  Me too…yeah…”

Chris was practically standing on his own knees to keep from running over and shaking the hell out of Wade for stealing his Lance when he saw Lance suddenly walk around the corner.  Lance was there.  Lance wasn’t on his phone. Wade was still on HIS phone. “What the fuck?”  Chris said out loud.  Lance saw him and walked over.

“Why are you hiding?”

“I’m not hiding.  I’m eavesdropping and shut up.”  Chris actually put a hand over Lance’s mouth and dragged him behind the set.  Lance licked his hand, but Chris didn’t move it. 

“I…yeah.  You, too, Joey.”  Wade hung up and walked away.  Chris released Lance and they stared at each other.

 

 

“Why are you staring at me like that? And why were you eavesdropping on Wade?”  Lance wanted to know. Chris smiled blissfully.

“Wade’s in love with Joey.”  Chris was happy for Wade.  Chris loved Joey. Chris loved Wade.  Wade didn’t want Lance.

“Yeah, so? I knew that already.”  Lance looked at Chris as if he had grown another head.  “What’s the big deal?”

“I thought he loved YOU.”

“Me?”  Lance laughed and Chris was embarrassed.  Stupid Wade. Stupid Wade was making Lance laugh at him.  “No way, dude.  He and Joey are tight.  I don’t want him anyway.”  Lance walked away still laughing. 

About an hour later, Chris realized two things.  First of all, Lance had actually licked his hand.  Secondly, Lance hadn’t said he didn’t want Wade because Wade was a man. Lance was gay, too.

 

Now Chris was miserable.  Lance was gay and he would never want Chris and Chris would have to die an old single man, like those weird old men who live alone in an apartment with eighteen cats and no one ever even knew they died until the smell crept out under the door. 

“Ready to rehearse, Chris?” Wade smiled at Chris as he walked by.  Chris was outside the studio, sitting on the floor.

“Wade, congratulations. I guess you finally told Joey, huh?” Chris asked. Wade’s smile faded and he looked at Chris uncertainly.  Chris slowly stood. “And I think it’s great.  Really, man.  Joey’s awesome and so are you and you guys are great together.”

“Thanks,” Wade said softly. “You okay?”

“Yeah…just thinking about some things.”  Chris clapped Wade on the back and they went into the studio.  Joey had Lance slung over his shoulder, and Justin and JC were taking turns spanking him.  Chris looked at Lance’s laugh-reddened face and his heart sank.  No chance in hell.

 

The concert went unbelievably well.  Joey’s leg held up, and though he was bitching and howling with pain by the time they headed back to the hotel, everyone was proud of themselves.  Wade soothed Joey, promising all kinds of ways to distract Joey from the pain.  Chris laughed at his ideas, Lance looked at the lovers fondly, JC rolled his eyes, and Justin stared out the window, still slightly embarrassed by the public displays of affection that happened between Wade and Joey when the six of them were together. 

Chris watched Wade thoughtfully.  He had happened upon the couple the day before when they were locked in a passionate embrace.  They had a whole secure floor to themselves, and Chris was wandering around looking for someone to annoy. He came into the large lobby area by the elevators, and Joey was seated on Wade’s lap.  Wade giggled at something Joey said, then Joey cupped Wade’s chin in his hand and gently kissed him.

“Thanks, you know, for taking my place,” Chris had heard Joey say softly. Wade sighed and kissed Joey’s chin.

“There’s no one that COULD take your place,” Wade had replied.  Chris crept away.  No one ever told HIM that.

 

“Come in,” Chris said when someone knocked.  Lance let himself into Chris’ hotel room and leaned against the closed door.  “I thought you were going out?”

“Nah…I’m tired.  And I don’t want to hang in my room because I’m next to Joey’s room.”

“Ah,” Chris said, grinning.  “Getting a little noisy in there?”

“Did you know Joey likes it when Wade calls him his bitch?”  Lance flopped down next to Chris on the bed. 

“Oh, I can’t WAIT to ask him about it,” Chris said, laughing.  Lance laughed with him. 

“I didn’t tell you about them because I seriously thought you were after Wade,” Lance said finally. Chris stared at him.

“I hated Wade.  He just kinda came in and took over everything,” Chris admitted.  “But now we’re cool.  And…I thought he was after…um…nevermind.”

“After something you wanted?”  Lance asked, his green eyes innocent.  Chris looked away.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Jesus, Chris, I never thought you to be the passive type,” Lance said with a sigh. He turned Chris’ head to face him and pressed his lips to Chris’.

Chris felt himself gasp against the kiss, wondering what kind of alternate universe he had fallen into.  “I’m gonna wake up now, right?”  He finally gasped.  Lance leaned his forehead against Chris’.

“I have been waiting and waiting, Chris…I’ve liked you for so long and then I thought you liked Wade.”

“But YOU liked Wade,” Chris pointed out.  Lance shook his head.

“I guess we were both waiting…”

“Wading,” Chris corrected before kissing Lance once more.

The End

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