Invisible Man

By: Mary

Copyright © 1998

"Where are you going tonight?" Joe asked.

"Where else? Out with Ryan," Jen answered.

"Oh, well have fun." Why did that bother him so much? He is her boyfriend. Why shouldn't they be going out on a Friday night?

Did Joe look upset that she was going out tonight with Ryan? Nah, he can't be upset. Jen was going to ask him about his expression when the doorbell rang. "I'll see you later okay?"

Joe nodded and Jen left for her night of fun with the guy she thought was all she could want. Wasn't he? He had to be because even though she was roommates with Joe McIntyre, he was only her friend. He had never shown anymore interest in her than that and so Jen had to be satisfied to just be his friend. She could live with that, couldn't she?

Joe watched her go annoyed that she had rushed out so quickly. She never seemed relaxed enough when Ryan was coming over. Why did she always seem so tense and in a hurry to leave when he came calling? Something didn't seem right to Joe but then maybe he was looking for something to be wrong.

* * * * * * * *

"Maybe he won't notice," Jen told herself, slipping quietly into her house. Looking around, she noticed that either Joe had went to bed or he wasn't home yet. She hoped that the latter was true. Stopping in front of the hall mirror she noticed that the bruise was already starting to surface. Jen tenderly touched her face and flinched. "He's going to notice this," Jen mumbled. Why did she let this happen? She knew that she deserved better and knew that the lecture Joe would give her in the morning would say just that and a hell of a lot more. He had only seen one other bruise on her before and she had been able to give him a good enough story to cover up the real story but this time she didn't think that he'd believe her. Maybe she didn't want him to believe her lies this time. She wanted out but how? Ryan had seemed so nice at first and had come at a time in her life when she needed the nice things and sweet gestures that he did for her. His jealousy at first had been flattering but his rage she had never expected.

Jen had been so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't heard Joe come out of his bedroom and stop behind her in the hall. He could tell she was lost in thought and so he took that oportunity to study her reflection in the mirror. He noticed her puffy red eye right away and it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what had happened. He had only seen her one other time with a bruise on her arm where that jerk had grabbed her but she had told him some lame story and so he let it go. Joe knew that she had other bruises that he had never seen but this was the last time she was going to come home looking like this. He'd make sure of that. "Jen, what happened?" he asked.

Jen jumped at the sound of his voice and instantly her hand went up to her right eye. "JOE! I thought you were gone for the night," Jen stammered.

"What happened, Jen?" he asked, his eyes never leaving hers in the mirror.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Dammit, Jen, don't play dumb with me! Ryan hit you again didn't he?"

Jen didn't answer but the look on her face told Joe all he wanted to know.

"I'll kill him," Joe exclaimed. He turned on his heel and headed for the door. "Wait!" Jen called out to him. Joe turned and looked at her.

"Wh-where are you going?"

"He hit you so now I'm going to hit him," Joe answered.

"JOE NO!" Jen ran over to him. "Please don't. It'll only make it worse for me. Just pretend you didn't see this and everything will be okay."

"No, Jen, everything will not be okay. This jerk hit you and he's did it before and he'll do it again. Not to you because you are never seeing him again but to another girl. It has to stop."

"Who are you to say who I will and will not see?" Jen wanted to know. She hadn't been planning on seeing Ryan again but Joe's telling her what to do made her mad as hell.

"Jen, he hit you and you want to see him again?" Joe asked in a disbelieving tone.

Joe's concern for her had her wishing he felt more for her than friendship. Jen had seen the way he treated his girlfriends and wished she had that kind of care and consideration thrown in her direction.

Jen's crush on her roommate wasn't a secret to anyone but her roommate. Joe had no clue that she wished he'd look at her through different eyes. She wanted him to love her as more than just a friend. Being Joe's friend was wonderful but she wished he'd hold her and comfort her.

"Joe, I don't want to see him again. It just irritates the hell out of me when you try to run my life." Jen's voice started to shake as she tried to hold her tears back. The nights events were catching up with her.

Joe looked at her for a second before he crossed the room and pulled her to him in a hug. Jen clung to him trying to draw in his strength to help her deal with this situation. Joe ran his hands up and down her back in a soothing motion. Jen's tears silently fell and she burried her face in his shoulder and cried until she thought she'd never be able to again. "It's going to be alright, Jen," Joe whispered into her hair.

"How?" she asked, looking up to meet his blue eyes. "How is it going to be okay, Joe?"

"Well," Joe brought one hand up and used his thumb to wipe some of her tears away. "First of all, you aren't seeing him anymore." Joe waited for her to say something about him telling her what to do but she didn't and so he continued. "And we are going to the police and you are making a complaint against him."

"I can't," Jen said, terrified at the thought. "He'll come after me, Joe. I can't." Her tears started falling again and her breathing got shorter as if she was struggling for air.

"Jen, don't you dare hyperventilate on me," Joe told her, putting his hands on her shoulders and forcing her to look into his eyes. "You aren't going to do any of this on your own. I'll be there, okay?"

"Joe, I can't. He told me..." Jen tried to catch her breath. "He told me he'd come after me if I told. Joe, I CAN'T!"

Joe pulled her to him again and tried to figure out a way for him to be able to convince her that going to the police was the best thing that they could do. How could someone do this to HIS Jen? How dare that bastard touch her? Joe wanted so bad to go chase him down and make him feel pain that his fists kept clinching and unclenching with the need to meet that jerks flesh. "I'm so sorry you had to go through this, Jen. I wish I had been there. I wish I had done something the first time I seen that bruise on you. This is all my fault and I'm sorry."

Jen looked up at him. "Joe, this is not your fault. It's mine for being dumb enough to go back to him after he hit me the first time. I should have known that if you do it once, you'll do it again."

"I still wish I had been there to help you. I love you, Jen." Joe knew he meant those words as more than friends did but he didn't think that Jen felt the same way. But tonight he wanted her to know that she did have someone who loved her and cherished her the way that she should be loved and cherished. He knew that he would never hurt her or take her for granted or causes her pain; physical or emotional.

Jen's expression changed a little when she had heard him tell her he loved her. He had said it before but he was her friend and so she had always figured he had only meant it as friendship love. Tonight though she could have sworn he meant it the way she had always hoped he would.

* * * * * * * *

"I can't believe she went back to him," Joe said.

"Well, maybe she sees something in him that none of us do," Donnie offered.

Joe looked at him like he was crazy. "Donnie, he beats her up. Is that the kind of relationship you'd want your sister or friend in?"

"You know that I wouldn't, Joe, but Jen is an adult and can make her own decisions. You can't make her do anything."

"I know," Joe sighed. "I hate being this helpless. I love her, Don."

"Does she know it?" Donnie was playing with the label on his beer.

Joe's laugh was one more from how ridiculous Donnie's question sounded to him than from humor. "Does she know it? Are you crazy? Of course she doesn't know it. How could she know? I've never told her."

"So what's holding you back?"

"She's not ready to hear it yet." Joe took a long drink from his beer bottle.

"Joe, I think she was ready to hear it a long time ago. I mean look at the creep she is out with tonight. Maybe she's staying with him until someone better comes along. Joe, tell her."

"And have her laugh in my face! Wahlberg, I may have feelings for her but she definatly doesn't have any for me. Why risk the humiliation?" Joe glanced around the bar and noticed that it wasn't as full as it had once been. How long had he been there anyhow?

"Joe, look at the situation she is in. I doubt she'd laugh in your face if you tell her how you feel."

"I guess," Joe was tired of the topic of discussion. He had spent the last two weeks with Jen. After her black eye, she had sworn to him that she wasn't going to see Ryan again but where was she tonight? Out with that jerk was where. Joe didn't understand her. He was trying to. God help him, he was, was that woman was a mystery he just couldn't figure out. Why would she go back to him knowing what he was capable of doing? And why did he let her leave tonight?

* * * * * * *

Jen entered her house walking lightly. She knew that Joe had been going out with Donnie and a few of the other guys to have a guy's night out but she didn't know if he was back yet or not. Why had she went and seen Ryan again after the last attack? Was she trying to get herself killed? He had been so sweet on the phone and had even cried telling her how sorry he was. Jen had felt sorry for him and she did have feelings for him. She knew that she was probably going to regret her decision but she had decided to give him another chance. A chance that he had broken that night. Her first night with him alone after before and he had hit her again.

"Guys, we're closing up," the bartender told Joe and Donnie.

"Okay, I gotta get home anyway," Joe said, looking at his watch.

"You okay to drive?" Donnie asked his friend.

"Yeah. Are you?" Joe grinned. Donnie chuckled. "Of course."

"You boys be careful," the bartender told them as they left the bar.

"Good night," both of them called to the waitresses as they left.

* * * * * * * *

"Joe, you're drunk!" Jen exclaimed when he came giggling into the house with Donnie not too far behind.

"Nah," Joe said. "I'm fine but Donnie here needs coffee."

Jen looked both guys over and headed to the kitchen to put some coffee on.

"Sorry," Joe said, coming into the kitchen.

"Why?" Jen asked, looking over her shoulder at him and then continuing with what she was doing at the sink.

"I hope we didn't wake you up. It was just a long night and Donnie was way too drunk to drive and so I brought him back here. You don't mind do you?"

"Joe, he's your friend and mine and so why would I mind that you were trying to keep him off the road?"

"Thanks, Jen. You're really great you know," Joe patted her on the back and felt her flinch.

Joe didn't even have to ask. He pulled the bottom of her t-shirt up and before Jen could stop him, he seen the black and blue marks allover her back. Jen couldn't hold her tears in. She hadn't wanted Joe to see. He'd loose his respect for her and think she was dumb for going back to that. She didn't want to loose Joe's friendship. Joe didn't say a word to her. He turned and left the kitchen leaving Jen to get control of her emotions and finish up with the coffee.

Even Donnie in his less than best condition could tell Joe was pissed off. "Joe, what's wrong?"

"I'll be back later. Stay here and watch Jen, okay?"

Donnie agreed but was unsure of what was going on. Jen came back into the living room with Donnie's coffee cup in hand. "Where's Joe?" she asked.

"I was going to ask you the same thing," Donnie answered, taking the cup from her. "What's going on, Jen?"

"What do you mean?" she asked, not meeting his eyes. Jen looked down and suddenly found the hem of her shirt very interesting.

"You know what I mean. He hit you again didn't he?" Donnie's tone wasn't accusing, he was only trying to get the facts out of her.

"Don't ask me that, Donnie," Jen says softly. Donnie almost had to strain to hear her. "Why?"

"I don't want to lie to you and so please don't ask me that."

"Jen, Ryan doesn't love you. Love isn't supposed to hurt, Jen. He only wants to have power over you and be controlling. You deserve better than that." Donnie sipped at his coffee after finishing his lecture.

Jen kept her gaze fixed on the floor near her feet. She knew what he was saying was true but she didn't want to hear it right now. She hoped Joe wasn't going to do something dumb. Please don't be going after Ryan, she silently prayed.

* * * * * * *

"Where the hell is he?" Joe asked himself. He had went looking for Ryan but he was nowhere to be found. Joe banged on his door one more time before cursing under his breath and heading back to his car.

* * * * * * *

Joe enters the house a few hours after he had left. It had been late when he had gotten back the first time. Now it was almost daybreak outside. Jen and Donnie had long since went to sleep. Joe tiptoed through the living room so that he wouldn't wake his friend up who was sleeping on the couch. He headed for the kitchen. His head was killing him. Opening the freezer he pulled some ice out and held some up to his eye. He had found Ryan.

* * * * * * * * *

"Joe, tell me you didn't!" Donnie said to his friend the next morning.

"Okay I won't tell you anything," Joe said annoyed. "How does he look?"

"You don't want to know," Joe answered. "Joe."

Joe sighed, "Donnie you should have seen her back! That bastard had to of held her down or something. Hit her with something! Hell, I don't even want to think about what he had to of done to make those marks on her. He deserved every damn thing I did to him."

Joe's yelling had brought Jen out of her room. "What are you two yelling about?" she wanted to know.

Joe turned his face away from her. He didn't want her to notice his shiner. "Jen, it's still pretty early, why don't you go get some more rest?"

"Joe, what is wrong with your eye?" She walked closer to him. "Joe, tell me you didn't!" He didn't answer her. "Tell me, Joe."

"I can't tell you that," he told her.

"Damn you! Joe, this was MY problem, not yours." Jen was thrilled that he had stood up for her but terrified of how Ryan was going to react towards her when she seen him again.

"What did you expect me to do?" he asked, his frustration showing. "That jerk beats you up and you want me to just stand by and watch it happen?!"

"Joe, I know you think that it's your job to protect me and maybe I need protecting but don't do it." "Why?"

Jen looked at Joe and then Donnie. Both of them had the same confused look on their faces. She wasn't sure herself. But she did know that

Ryan was going to be pissed at her and would definately take this out on her if she was ever caught alone with him again. Jen met Joe's eyes,

"Because do you know what you've done? Ryan will take this out on me now. You think what you saw last night was bad?! He'll do worse next time, Joe."

"What do you mean 'next time'? You are not going to see him again." Joe stood up in front of her. Jen didn't answer him. "Jen, you aren't."

Jen's eyes raised to meet his, "Joe, I have to. I have no choice."

* * * * * * *

"I just don't understand her at all," Joe sighed. He was sitting at the table in his mother's house. "Why does she keep going back?"

His mom looked at him for a long time before answering. "You have to let her figure out for herself that this isn't what she wants from life. Joseph, you can't force her or you'll just end up pushing her farther away from you." "But I can't just stand by and do nothing."

"Be her friend. I think right now that's what she needs most from you. Just knowing that she has someone she can turn to if she ever feels the need to."

"So just be the invisible man in her life to catch her when she falls?" Joe didn't like the sound of that. He wanted to be more than just a safety net for Jen. He wanted Ryan out of her life and him in it.

"If you want to look at it that way, then yes. If you keep telling her what she is doing wrong and how dumb you think she is for staying in the situation, you are only going to succeed in pushing her away. No one wants to be told how bad their decisions are. It makes them feel like you think they can't do things for themselves. Joseph, I know you love her but you're only pushing her away. Right now, be her friend. She needs that more than anything else."

Joe stared blankly out the window. He knew what his mother was saying was true but he didn't know if he could do what he knew he should. It had been a month since his fight with Ryan. Jen had went out with him soon after. Joe had tried to follow them without them knowing but he had lost sight of them when he had gotten caught in traffic. She had come home fine that night but Joe couldn't help but worry every time she left with him. More than once the thought of would she come home this time, kept popping into his head. The thought of losing her scared the hell out of him. Why couldn't Jen just leave him? Sure Ryan had probably threatened her and told her he'd never let her go but didn't she know that he'd keep her safe? But could Joe keep her safe from his psycho boyfriend?

* * * * * * * * *

Keep her safe. How could he do that? Joe had thought about what his mother had said all the way home and now back at his house, he didn't know how to do that and not give her his opinions on what she was doing.

He knew he had to, but he didn't know how.

"What do you want for dinner?" Jen asked coming down the hall.

Joe looked up from his deep thoughts and studied her for a few minutes. Jen started shifting from one foot to the other under his stare.

"Joe, why are you staring at me?"

"Huh?" He shook himself out of it. "Sorry, what did you ask me?"

"I asked what you wanted for dinner. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I don't care what we have."

"Pizza okay?" she asked heading toward the phone. "Yeah."

"Oh, Ryan's coming over. That okay?" Jen wasn't sure how Joe would react to that bit of information. She knew that he wasn't happy with her decision to stay with him but he had to understand that this washer life and he couldn't try and run it for her.

Joe tried to hide his reaction to that statement. "Yeah, it's fine." Why in the hell did she invite him over here? Oh well, at least if they stay here I can keep an eye on her.

Ryan showed up before the pizza did. Joe and Ryan both glared at each other before Joe decided to be nice for Jen's sake.

"How are you doing?" Joe asked.

"Great," Ryan answered, putting his arm around Jen. Joe wanted to remove his arm from her but control the impulse.

The doorbell rang and Jen went to get the pizza from the delivery guy. The phone rang a minute later and Joe went to the kitchen to grab it. He was now out of site of Jen and Ryan. The call lasted longer than Joe would have liked but ten minutes later he was hanging up and heading back for the living room. "I didn't!" Jen said.

"Damn it I seen you!" Ryan screamed at her.

Joe hung back a minute to see what was going to happen. He hated not stepping in but he had to see for himself how bad this was going to get.

He knew he'd step in before Jen was actually hurt.

"You are imagining things. I wasn't flirting with the pizza guy, "Jen told him.

"Like hell you weren't!" Ryan's hands were clinching and unclenching at his sides. "Why do you think that guy would even want you? You're lucky I want you!" Ryan then looked up and noticed Joe standing in the doorway. Ryan lowered his voice, "Be thankful your live in is standing over there, Jen. Be very thankful."

Jen glanced up at Joe. Her blue eyes were shimmering with her tears. She felt so ashamed that Joe had witnessed their fight. What must Joe think now? If he had thought she was dumb for staying before, what must be going through his head now.

"Jen, is this what you want?" Joe looked up at her from his position on the couch. Ryan had left an hour ago and Joe couldn't get the way Jen had looked when he had been yelling at her out of his head. He knew she wanted out. He knew it with all that he was that Jen was not happy with where she was in her life.

"What do you mean Joe?" She thought back to what had happened once Ryan had noticed Joe watching their fight. She could tell Joe was upset and was surprised when he hadn't acted on his anger. He had merely walked over to the couch and dug into one of the pizza boxes. Jen wasn't sure what to think of that. Had Joe given up on her? Was he tired of coming to her rescue? She knew that she was tired of needing rescued but she had no clue how to get herself out of her situation. She wanted out but how? "You know what I mean," Joe watched her intently.

Jen sighed and stopped straightening the living room. She turned and looked at him. "Joe," she started. Could she tell him this? Did she want to tell him this? Yes. She HAD to tell him this. She was tired of being afraid all the time. "I want out," she looked down at her hands. "I'm tired of being afraid, Joe." Her blue eyes were glassy with her held back tears. It had taken more than she could have imagined to tell him that. She had no more pride left. Ryan had taken that a long time ago.

Joe studied her for a few moments before standing up and walking over to her. He didn't say a word but pulled her into a hug. Jen had been doing good at holding back her tears until Joe had touched her. The dam broke loose then. "It's okay, Jen," Joe whispered into her hair.

"How?" Jen's eyes met Joe's. "How is it going to be okay? He won't let me go, Joe. I know he won't. I'll never be free of this." Jen's tears overtook her once again and stopped her from being able to speak.

Joe rubbed his hands over her back in a soothing motion while he tried to figure out a way to keep her safe. He wasn't sure how he was going to do it yet but he did know that he'd die trying to do it.

* * * * * * * * * *

"How long has it been since she's seen him?" Donnie asked.

"Two months," Joe answered.

Donnie let out a low whistle, "He's stayed away from her for that long and not tried to contact her?"

"No, he's tried but we have a restraining order on him and Jen doesn't go anywhere without me or someone else with her." Joe wasn't taking any chances on Ryan finding her out alone somewhere. "So, she's moving on now?"

"She's trying. She has these nightmares, Don. They even scare me sometimes when I hear her screaming at night. And it's hard to wake her up from them and when she finally is awake she's scared to death to go back to sleep. I'm worried about her." Joe looked across the park at

Jen and few of her friends laughing at something. He smiled to himself.

It felt good to see her having a good time and laughter back in her eyes.

"Maybe she needs more help than you can give her, Joe," Donnie said.

"What do you mean?" Joe asked, looking at his friend.

"Maybe she needs to talk to someone who works with people who have been through this same thing. Joe, she's been through it and it's not going to get better on it's own."

Joe sighed, "I know but a shrink? Do you think Jen'll want to do that?"

"Does she have a choice, Joe?"

Joe looked over at Jen and she caught his eye and waved. Joe smiled at her and gave her a little wave back. "No, I guess not." Joe knew as happy as she looked on the outside that she was dying on the inside.

Jen wasn't the way she use to be before Ryan. She had lost her charisma that she had once had. She no longer had her snappy whit and humor that he had loved about her. She had lost her ablitiy to see the best in herself and damn Ryan to hell for all the emotional damage he had done to her.

* * * * * * *

"I am not going to see a shrink," Jen told Joe.

"Jen, just once, please," Joe was pleading with her.

"No," Jen wasn't budging with this. "You need help, Jen," he told her.

"I'm doing fine on my own," she told him, her eyes saying otherwise.

"No, you're not. Jen, you have nightmares every night, you live in fear everyday that he's going to come looking for you, and Lord knows what else goes through that beautiful head of yours all day long causeI sure as hell don't. You aren't the same, Jen. He changed you. I want the old Jen back."

Jen was stuck on Joe's comment about her being beautiful. "You think I'm beautiful?" she asked softly. Ryan had ruined her self-confidense as well.

"Gorgeous," Joe smiled. "But Jen did you hear the rest of what I said?"

"How long have you thought that?" she asked. Jen wasn't sure why she was prying for compliments from him. But somewhere deep inside her, Joe's words were healing a part of her that had been hurt baddly for a long time.

"Since day one. I seen you walking through that park lost and knew that I had to be the one to rescue you. I made a fool of myself in the process," Joe smiled remembering that day.

"No," Jen shook her head, "I was flattered that you would stop to talk to me."

"Jen, don't you want to feel the way you felt that day again? You had laughter in your eyes and that sense of humor of yours is almost as good as mine," Joe smiled knowing she would react to that.

She didn't let him down, "My sense of humor is better than yours." Jen gave him a "so there" smile.

"Well there's still some of the old Jen in there somewhere," Joe grinned. Jen's eyes filled with tears and Joe was shocked at her sudden mood change. "What's wrong?"

"I want to go back to the way I was Joe. I miss feeling like I did before as much if not more than you do. I'm tired of being scared Joe. I'm tired of feeling like I'm all alone in the world."

"You're not alone, Jen. I'm here," Joe ran his hand down the side of her face. "Can I tell you something?" "What's that?"

"I have had a crush on you since that day in the park," Joe confessed.

"Damn you!" Jen exclaimed pulling away from him. Joe was shocked at her reaction. "Don't try and humor me and saying all this crap about how you use to moon over me! We both know you didn't! Just because I'm messed up right now doesn't give you the right to play with my emotions, Mr. McIntyre." Jen grabbed her coat off of the hook and ran from the house. Joe looked at the door as it slammed shut and swore under his breath. Grabbing his coat he ran out the door and followed her. She may have been pissed off at him but he wasn't letting her out of his site. Ryan was still a threat to her.

* * * * * * * * *

"How could he do this to me," Jen asked herself. She had been wondering around the park for a while now, trying to collect her thoughts. Joe had been her friend and nothing else for so long, how could he try and take advantage of her now when she was at the lowest point in her life? That didn't sound like the Joe she had grown to know and love but then right now she didn't feel that she was the best judge of characters. She HAD thought that Ryan was a nice guy too in the beginning. Jen sank down onto one of the park benches and tried to figure out what she was going to do. Joe had been right, she did need professional help, but she was scared to take that step on her own. "What am I going to do?" Jen sighed.

* * * * * * *

"How could I have lost her?!" Joe asked himself. He had been following her pretty well until she had turned into the park. Then he blinked and she was gone. "Damn it!" Joe exclaimed. He had a bad feeling about Jen being alone in the park, especially this close to dark. Joe had been walking around for over an hour since he had lost sight of her but had come up with nothing. She was either hiding from him or she had left the park, he decided. Way to go, McIntyre, he thought. You tell her how you feel and she runs out on you. What had you expected her to do? She's not going to trust men for a long time and here you were declaring your love to her! Joe was beating himself up while looking for her. What if Ryan got to her and hurt her? That thought kept Joe looking well into the night.

* * * * * * * *

"When did you come back here?" Joe asked, walking into the house.

Jen looked up at him, "A few hours ago." She wasn't as upset with him now as she was with herself. Joe had been her friend through his whole ordeal with Ryan and she had fought him with it the whole time. She really didn't deserve a friend like Joe, she thought.

"You shouldn't have ran out like that. Jen," Joe ran his hands through his hair, "it's not safe. You know this." "I know," Jen nodded.

"So why did you?" he asked, looking at her closely with his beautiful blue eyes.

Jen shrugged. "I didn't think about it actually. I just needed to be alone for a little while. I'm tired of needing to be babysitted everywhere I go. Joe, I am tired of having to depend on you and all of our friends for everything."

"It won't be like this forever. It'll get better, Jen," Joe said. He walked over to where she was sitting in the chair and leaned down in front of her. "Jen, I meant what I said earlier. I know you probably don't want to hear it now but I think you need to. We don't have to act on anything now but I want you to know that I do love you. I always have," Joe confessed.

Jen's blue eyes filled with her tears. "Don't Joe," she said softly. "Don't say these nice things to me." "Why?" he asked, his eyes meeting hers.

"Because I don't think I could bare it when you have to take them back later on." "Why would I take them back?" Joe asked confused.

"Joe, I know you are only trying to build my confidense back up by saying all these sweet things and I thank you for that but don't go around declaring your love for me when we both know you don't love me-not that way at least." Joe chuckled. "Is that what you think?"

Jen didn't like that he was laughing at her but nodded to answer his question. "Yeah."

"Jen, if I was only trying to build your confidense in yourself back up I don't think I'd resort to lying to you about something like this." Joe took her hands and held them in his.

Jen looked down at their entertwined hands and then back up into his eyes. She wasn't sure what to think.

"Jen, why do you think that I stopped that day in the park and helped you out?" Joe asked, refering to their first meeting.

"I don't know. You wanted to make fun of me?"

Joe smiled, "I only did that because you made me nervous."

"I did?" Jen questioned. "Why?"

"I knew when I seen you from the other side of the park that I had to meet you and make you fall for me. It was like a mission to me or something but then you met Ryan and so I had to wait until you dropped him. Jen, it killed me that first time you came home with bruises and I knew what was going on but you refused to tell me and I didn't know how to help you." Joe's eyes had a far off look as he remembered the times he was telling of. "I'm not worth it, Joe," Jen told him. "Not worth what?"

"All the effort you seem to be putting into this. I'm not worth the trouble."

"Jen," Joe cupped her chin in his hand, "you are worth more than you will ever know. I don't know how I can make you realize that." Joe looked at her for a few moments before acting on his impulse. He leaned up and tilted her chin down. His eyes asked her permission before continuing. She granted it and Joe's lips softly touched hers.

Jen found herself getting lost in the kiss. It felt good. REALLY good. It shouldn't have felt that good. Jen jumped up almost knocking Joe over in the process. "This can't happen," Jen said frantically.

"I'm not ready for this." Her eyes traveled to Joe who was still sitting in the floor. "I'm sorry."

"Jen, what are you so afraid of?" Joe asked quietly. His blue eyes traveled the length of her and then settled back on her worried face.

"I-I...I don't know," Jen answered. I don't want to get hurt again, her mind screamed. You have the power, Joe, to hurt me in a way Ryan never could. I never loved Ryan but you.....Jen couldn't voice these thoughts to Joe. What was she going to do?

"I'm not like Ryan, Jen, if that's what your thinking behind those beautiful blue eyes of yours," Joe told her. Joe watched her pace the length of the living room. He smiled to himself at the familiarity of that action. Jen was scared and he knew this but how could he make her face her fear.

Jen looked at him for a long time before saying anything. She kept walking back and forth in front of him trying to get her thoughts together. Joe isn't like Ryan, she kept telling herself. It wasn't so much the thought of Joe being like Ryan that bothered her as much as the fact that she really did care a lot for Joe and she didn't want to just be the girl of the week for him. He'd been through more girlfriends since she had known him than she cared to remember. "I don't want to be hurt, Joe," Jen said softly. "I won't hurt you," Joe promised.

Jen's eyes locked onto his, "Joe, you could hurt me without even knowing it. You have the power to hurt me in a way that Ryan never could."

Joe looked confused. "How's that?"

"Joe, I never loved Ryan. I don't know what even attracted me to him in the first place but that's beside the point. You can hurt me more than he ever could have. You have more power against me. I-" Could she say this? She had to say this. "I care about you a lot and I love you, Joe." Joe smiled, "You do?"

Jen nodded, "And so you see you can hurt me in ways Ryan never could. I'm scared to risk the hurt."

"I'll never hurt you on purpose, Jen. I can't promise that I'll never mess up and hurt you without meaning to because you know I'm not perfect but I'd never hurt you physically or emotionally on purpose. I love you, Jen." Joe still sat in the floor. He wanted to go to her and hold her but he had decided that she had to come to him. She had to want this just as much as he did.

Jen bit her lower lip, trying to decide what to do. Could she risk it all? Would he be able to help her get over her fears? Should she put him through a relationship with her when she had all this emotional baggage? "I don't know what to do," Jen confessed.

"Follow your heart, Jen," Joe told her. "Follow your heart. It'll never tell you wrong."

Jen stopped and looked at Joe for a second before making her decision. She crossed the room to him and dropped to her knees beside him. Her eyes searched his face as if trying to find the answers she was looking for there. "You'll never hurt me?" "Never on purpose, Jen."

"What about all this stuff I've been through with Ryan. It's changed me. I'm not the same as before."

"I know and we'll work through all of it together. I don't expect you to be perfect, Jen. God knows I'm not. I just want to be with you. I want you to look at me the way you use to look at Ryan when you first started seeing him and you were truly happy then. I want you to look into my eyes for hours at time. I want to be the one you spend hours talking to about nothing at all. I want you, Jen." Joe's eyes never left her face and Jen could see the truth of his words in his eyes.

Jen didn't think, she just acted. "Kiss me, Joe."

Joe didn't wait for her to ask again. His lips lowered to hers and he lightly kissed her. Leaning back his eyes met hers. "So you made your decision?"

Jen nodded. "I want to live again, Joe. I want to feel alive again instead of dead on the inside. I want you, too." Jen's eyes looked down to the floor and Joe cupped her chin and brought her face back up to look at him. "Promise me something?" Joe asked.

"What's that?" she asked, wondering what he had in mind.

"No matter what, you'll come to me if this gets to be too much for you. I know you just got out of the situation with Ryan and I don't want to pressure you into anything. Promise me that no matter what you'll come to me if you ever need to. No holding anything back."

"I promise, Joe," Jen told him.

Joe's blue eyes smiled into hers as his lips lowered back to hers. Jen sighed deep in her throat and pulled him closer trying to be as close as she could to the wonderful man. Joe pulled back and looked into her eyes, "I love you, Jen." Jen smiled. "I love you, Joe."

The End

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