Sometimes
By:  Mary
Copyright 2002

       "What did you ask me?"  He looked at her questionly over his newspaper.

       Her eyes didn't waver from looking straight into his.  "Do you still love me?"

       How could she ask him that question?  Didn't she know how much he loved and cared for her?  "Yes," he answered.  He thought he should have said more but he wasn't comfortable with that.

       "I'm losing you aren't I?" she asked him, pressing for more.  She knew he wasn't happy with this topic of conversation, but sometimes you had to do things that you don't like.  He needed to give her a little of himself.  She needed that much to know that everything wasn't all in vain.  She needed that much to know that he still wanted to be where he was every day.

       "No, you're not losing me."  He set his newspaper down on the table.  "But, I do have to leave before I'm late for work."

       She nodded.  "Have a good day."  She knew he had to leave and it was unfair of her to feel abandonded and crushed because he had spoken the words outloud.

       He kissed the top of her head as he walked by and was out the door a few moments later.

       She stood where she was for a few moments lost in her thoughts.  A dream shouldn't have affected her this much.  A dream where in the end she was left holding nothing but a broken heart, shattered illusions and dreams.  She knew he cared about her.  She knew he wouldn't stick around otherwise but was it any deeper than just caring and consideration?  She didn't want to realize one day that everything had been a time killer until something better had came along.     

       She busied herself with cleaning up the table and doing the breakfast dishes.  She kept pushing her thoughts away from him.  Away from them.  Away from everything trying to beat her down until she couldn't think of anything but him and her.  She thought about  turning the radio on to tune her thoughts out but that wouldn't work either.  Every song that came on would remind her about the two of them somehow. 

       She knew she had to talk to him tonight.  Really talk to him, but how could she get him to want to do that.  He never did.  He didn't seem to understand how much she needed to hear him say that he needed her in his life.  He couldn't get how much hearing him say he missed her during his day could fill her heart with such warmth to know he needed her as much as she needed him.  He didn't seem to understand how much hearing him say one simple word like "baby" could make her heart flutter, her blood run hotter and her pulse go up a few notches.  She wanted him to understand how much she needed him to put his faith in her and confide in her something he wouldn't and couldn't with others.  She wanted to feel special to him.  No, she wanted to BE special to him.

       She wanted that connection with him.  She wasn't sure how to explain it.  It was just that feeling of knowing that the other is always going to be there for you and always be on your side no matter what.  That common bond of trust that goes between two deeply commited people.  She wanted to know that when she needed him he'd be there.  No questions asked.  Would he do that for her?  She didn't know.  Somehow she didn't think he would.

     Talking to him about this wasn't going to be easy.  Starting a conversation like this wasn't easy.  He never made it easier.  High emotions and talks from the heart wasn't something he enjoyed no matter what it centered around.  He seemed to shut down totally when he even thought she might be considering talking about feelings of the heart.  Part of her understood why but a deeper part was only more hurt by it.  He shouldn't tell her he loved her if he couldn't talk about why he could say he felt that way.  And he shouldn't say it at all if he didn't mean it the way it was implied. 

       The day dragged on with no end in site.  She busied herself with common tasks around the house wishing for the hundredth time that she hadn't had today off from work.  Work would have made the time go by so much faster. 

       Slowly but surely four o'clock was coming upon her.  He'd be there at any moment.  She wasn't totally sure how she was going to approach the subject but she knew somehow it would happen.

       He walked in the door at a quarter after four with a smile on his face. 

       "How was your day?" she asked as soon as she saw him. 

       "Great," he responded.  "How was yours?"

       "Long," she answered truthfully. 

       "So how about we unwind?" he grinned. 

       She knew that smile.  He had more in mind than helping her relax.  She debated in her mind about holding off on him and talking first or waiting until after when she knew he'd be more relaxed. 

       She walked into his open arms willingly.  The warmth she always found there was welcomed fully.  And just like always when she was wrapped in his embrase she forgot that other things had been weighing heavily on her mind.  She loved him.  With everything inside of her she loved this man.  Wrong or right she couldn't control the deep emotional connection she felt every time they touched or looked at each other.  Did he feel it too?

       His hands slid around her waist and moved slowly up her back to pull her tightly against his hard body.  She could feel every inch of his front on hers.  His breath was against her hair.  His fingers touching every inch of her that he could reach. 

       She moved her hips slightly against the front of his pants and felt his sharp intake of breath against her hair.  He wanted her.  She could feel the heat radiating from him and the tug of arousal anchoring them both in. 

       "I missed you today," she told him.

       "I missed you too," he said.  His hands moving down to the bottom of her shirt and slowly moving it upward to remove it from her body.  It didn't take but a second to have it laying in a blue pile on the floor.  His eyes swept over her upper body taking in the way her blue silk and lace bra covered her breasts a second before his fingers came up and started trying to undo the hook while his lips came down to suck on the flesh between her breasts.  Her head went back and her fingers tangled in his hair at his nape pulling his lips closer to her chest.  The blue silk and lace fell to the floor to join her shirt as his lips captured a perky nipple in between his teeth.  His tongue worried it for a few moments until he could feel her wiggling under his fingers and lips. 

       She tugged gently on his head to bring him up to where she could look at him.  He gave her a questioning look and she leaned in to kiss him softly on his lips.  Her tongue pushing past his lips slightly so that she could get a better taste of him.  She heard his slight growl as she did so which only encouraged her to press farther ahead with her exploration of his mouth with her tongue. 

       He told himself he could have taken her teasing torture all night long.  He could have lasted forever if she hadn't chosen that moment to arch her back and press herself as tight against his arousal as she could.  He could have held off and let her have her fun for a little while longer if she hadn't chosen that moment to move her hands down the front of his chest and over the bulge in the front of his pants.  He would have been able to make it last forever if she hadn't slid her hand down his pants and let her fingers brush against the head of his cock.  He would have surely been able to keep his control if she hadn't started moving her fingers in slow, even circles driving him mad with pleasure. 

       He yanked her up into his arms and dragged her down onto the couch.  Her pants and panties just a memory along with his own as he followed her down.  His cock sank deep inside of her hot, wet spot.  He held himself still inside of her for a few moments enjoying the feeling.  She wanted to stay that way with him forever.  Something about it felt so right.  Slowly he started to grind his hips against her.  She moved her legs up to give him more room which allowed him to sink deeper inside of her.  She wrapped her ankles around his hips arching up to him every time he pulled out of her only to fall right back inside deeper still.  The pace picking up more and more until he was slamming in and out of her.  Both of them aching with the need to release and feel the other let go.  He pushed long and deep into and felt her body shudder around hsi cock.

       "Coming for me, baby?" he looked into her eyes.

       She nodded, biting her lower lip to keep from screaming out.

       He shook his head.  "Don't hold back."

       She let out a soft moan and that was all it took for him to lose control and start pounding faster into her. 

       "Oh God, baby," he moaned into her ear a second before she felt him let go completely.  "I love you," he said into her hair.

       That brought her back to reality.  Her dream.  Her fears.  "I love you, too," she told him.  She thought she hid her mood change well.  She was wrong.

       "What's wrong?"  He moved to his side cradling her in his arms on the sofa.

       She told him about her dream.  Not stopping for a breath until she was done for fear she'd lose the courage to continue to the end.  After the last word was spoken she slowly moved her eyes up his bare chest to settle on his deep, worry filled eyes.

       "Darling, next time you have a dream like that wake me up."  She started to protest but he shook his head.  "I want to be able to take you into my arms and prove to you every time something like that bothers you that I will always be here for you.  That my love is true and that no matter what I'm going to be here for you."

       Tears filled her eyes.  "Always?" she questioned.

       He nodded.  "Even when I seem a million miles away I'm right here next to you.  Forever." 

The End

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