Somewhere Out There

By: Mary

It was their place. It would always be their place. Jordan couldn't forget all the wonderful nights that they had spent wrapped in each others arms at that beautiful cabin up in the mountains. Hadn't Stephanie decorated it just the way she liked? He had teased her about how nit picky she was being on every little detail but now those little details he found endearing. She had brightened his life in ways no one else ever would be able to and he had let her go.

Why? There were a million reasons and there were no reasons. Jordan had felt trapped and yet carefree in ways he'd never thought possible. He had understood his feelings of being trapped. They had came when he realized that Steph was the one for him. That kind of love had scared the hell out of him. But with it came that incredible feeling of floating on air. She had made all things seem possible. The sun rose and set with her as far as Jordan was concerned. So why did life have to be so damn complicated?

He had told her goodbye and that it was over. Yet, why did he keep waiting for her to call? Why did he keep hoping that she would show up at his apartment and fall into his arms? He missed the way her brown eyes sparkled when she laughed and her smile. God, her smile, Jordan ran his hands through his short, brown hair.

"Why in the hell did I let Joe talk me into this?" Jordan asked himself. He knew why, because Joe had railroaded him into it. Joe knew how to get his own way in every situation and took advantage of that fact. Jordan let out a deep breath and looked around the studio he had been in all morning. He hadn't gotten a thing done. Steph had occupied his thoughts completly and it left little room for anything else to be done. The knock at the door caught Jordan a little off guard but he called for whoever it was to enter.

Joe looked around the room and smiled. "You haven't did a damn thing today have you, J?"

"No, Joe, I haven't. Does that bother you in some way?" Jordan was cranky and he knew he was taking his frustrations out on Joe but he didn't really care at this point. Joe was making him go with him and Mary to that cabin and he wasn't looking forward to the memories there waiting for him.

"Jordan, you can't still be pissed at me for making you go with us to that cabin," Joe said.

"Why not?" Jordan grumbled.

Joe smiled, "It may turn out better than you think, J. You never know who might just show up." Joe chuckled and left the small studio with Jordan quick to follow. What had Joe meant by that?

"McIntyre, what the hell are you up to?"

"Moi?" Joe asked innocently. So innocently that Jordan knew he was up to something.

"Dammit, Joe, don't go trying to set me up. I told you that-" Jordan was cut off.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, you've sworn off dating and women and relationships and let me guess now you've sworn off sex, too, right?" Joe was pushing his friends limits and he knew it. Any kind of reaction out of Jordan was better than no reaction. He'd been so out of it since Steph that Joe wanted to see any kind of reaction from him. Good or bad.

"Nobody likes a smartass, Joe," Jordan told him.

"Nobody likes you anymore, Jordan. Face it man, you have about as much personality as that wall right there," Joe pointed. "You have got to live again. It's nobody's fault but your own that Steph is no longer in your life. You broke up with her, remember?"

"I remember, Joe," Jordan mumbled.

"And also remember that I got my ass chewed out by Mary for you breaking Steph's heart. Do you know how many nights I was on the couch, Jordan? You know how women can turn these things around. It was MY fault that you and Steph broke up. Go figure!" Joe knew he was exageratting a little bit but let Jordan feel bad. Maybe it'd knock some sense into him.

* * * * * * * *

"Okay, we're here," Mary announced, walking into the gorgeous log cabin. "Wow, you weren't kidding. Steph did wonders on this place."

Jordan shot her a look and would have said something if Joe hadn't smacked him in the back of the head and shook his head no. Jordan gave him a dirty look and sighed. Joe was right, no use taking his frustrations out on everybody else.

"Yes, Steph did a wonderful job with this cabin," Jordan agreed. Steph had did a great job. That's why it hurt so much being there. He could see her everywhere in that cabin. Steph hanging those damn frilly curtains that he hadn't liked very much but she had thought they were perfect for the kitchen. Her moving the furniture around the living room a thousand times trying to get it to look just right. Just right for what Jordan hadn't a clue but she had looked so adorable doing it or supervising while he moved the couch all around the room. Jordan had to smile at the thought.

Joe looked over at his friend and nudged Mary. "See I told you if we got him here his mood would improve."

"Yeah, who knew, huh?" Mary smiled.

Joe picked up his and her suitcases and headed for the hallway. "Come on. We'll get settled in back here and let Jordan be to his memories for a little bit."

Mary nodded and followed Joe down the hall to the last bedroom at the end of the spacious cabin.

* * * * * * * *

"What am I doing?" Steph asked herself. What had made her agree to meet Mary and Joe at that cabin? It had been the one place that she had never planned on going back to. It just held too many memories for her. Jordan had been the love of her life and he had basically told her that she didn't know the difference between good sex and love. What was she doing going back to where all the memories were waiting for her? She was asking for pain and heartache and she knew it.

Jordan had filled her thoughts more than she even cared to admit to herself. She had so many memories of him in her life everyday. Nothing she did could help her forget. The regret of what might have been was always there with her.

"Dammit, Steph, he dropped you! He doesn't want you!" she told herself. It did no good. Her heart wasn't listening.

* * * * * * * * *

"I'll be back in a couple hours," Jordan said, grabbing his car keys.

"Where are you going?" Joe looked up from where he was lounging on the couch next to Mary in front of the fireplace.

"Out to get some real food in this place. Remind me to never send you shopping ever again," Jordan smiled. It was his first real smile that reached his eyes in a long time. He couldn't help himself. Looking at his two friends who had been so wrapped up in each other that they hadn't even bought anything that they could eat when they had went to the market. Their happiness depressed the hell out of him because he had once had that and blew it but he couldn't fault them for it at the same time.

"Okay, later, J," Joe called to his friend as Jordan closed the door behind him.

"Now, where were we?" Joe grinned, looking at Mary.

"Right about here," Mary smiled, pulling him closer to her.

* * * * * * * * * * *

"Damn snow," Steph grumbled. She had known the cabin was in the mountains and that there would be snow. She had been there many times before but this snow storm was not helping her mood any at the moment. She was only a few miles away from the cabin now and she was getting more nervous at staying at the one place that had been hers and Jordan's alone. "Thank God Jordan won't be there at least," she mumbled to herself, thankful for small miracles.

* * * * * * * * * * *

"Steph's here," Mary announced, looking out the big picture window in the living room. Mary looked nervously at Joe. "She's going to be pissed, you know."

"She'll get over it. Jordan won't be very happy about it at first either but we both know that they are miserable without the other. We had to help give them a little push in the right direction."

"I know but she's still going to be mad at us." Mary moved to open the door to let Steph in. Putting on a bright smile she greeted her friend. "Hey Steph!"

Steph smiled at Mary and Joe. "Hey guys." She pulled at her coat and shook the snow out of her hair. "My bags are still out in the car."

"Joe'll get them," Mary said.

"Yeah, I'll be right back," Joe said, heading out to the car.

"So how was the drive down here?" Mary asked.

* * * * * * * * * * *

"Oh hell!" Joe exclaimed, looking down the narrow lane that lead to the cabin. Jordan was now back. He had wanted to have prepared Steph a little bit before she found out Jordan was there too. Too late now.

Jordan grabbed his bags of groceries and climbed out of his car. "Uh, Joe?"

"Yes, J."

"Whose car is that?"

"What car?" Joe asked.

"This car, Joe," Jordan said, walking up next to Joe.

"OH! You mean THIS car!" Joe knew he was being dumb but he couldn't think of anything else at the moment. Well Mary and I planned this little meeting, we may as well get the rest of the plan into action.

It's now or never.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Mary had heard Jordan's car pull up and knew that she had to at least give Steph a small warning that Jordan was there.

"Uh, Steph?"

"Yeah?"

"I need to tell you something," Mary looked down at her feet.

"What is it, Mar?" Steph looked over at her friend. She looked so trusting that Mary for the first time felt guilty about leading Steph here under false pretenses.

"Steph, Jordan is here, too." Mary didn't have to look at Steph to know that she had her total attention.

Steph looked a Mary for a minute and then busted up laughing.

"Uh, Steph? You okay?" Had she went into shock from me telling her that?

"That's really funny, Mar. I almost believed you there for a second," Steph chuckled.

"I'm not kidding, Steph," Mary said quietly but very seriously.

Steph looked at her as if trying to judge from her expression if she was in fact serious. "You're kidding, right?" Mary didn't answer. "Mary, right?"

Mary didn't have to answer because Joe and Jordan chose that moment to come in the front door.

"Jordan!" Steph said shocked. Dammit, why did Mary and Joe do this to her? Why did Jordan have to look so damn good? She could smell the familiar scent of his cologne from where she was sitting and it was killing her. That same scent had haunted her at nights back home after he had dropped her.

"Steph," Jordan acknowledged her. Why does she have to look so....inviting? Jordan, get your mind out of the gutter, he comanded himself. She looked the same as she always had. She was as beautiful as ever.

"I think we're going to go unpack," Joe announced, pulling Mary to her feet.

"You sure we should leave them alone?" Mary whispered in Joe's ear.

Joe nodded and pulled her down the hall.

"It's been a long time," Jordan said slowly.

Steph nodded, "Yes, it has."

"How-how have you been?" Jordan had been furious at Joe when he had told him that Steph was there but now he was strangly thrilled to see her. He still loved her. Seeing her when he had walked in the door had brought back all those old feelings. Or had they ever really left?

* * * * * * * * * * *

"So what do you think they are doing out there?" Mary asked Joe.

"Making up?" Joe grinned.

"I doubt it. Not this soon. Jordan really hurt her, Joe. She trusted him with her heart and he let her down. It's going to take a lot for her to trust him again." Mary wrung her hands together and bit her lower lip, her nerves were showing. This better work and not backfire on us, she thought. She didn't want Steph or Jordan hurt in this and then it be her and Joe's fault.

* * * * * * * * * * *

The polite small talk was getting them nowhere fast. They had run out of things to say to each other 30 minutes ago. Jordan knew what he wanted to say to her. Follow your heart, J, he told himself.

"Steph?"

"Yes?"

"I don't really know how to say this or even where to start really but I feel like if I don't tell you this now, I never will get the chance again." Jordan took a deep breath. He had rushed that whole little speech out and had forgotten to breath along the way.

"Say what, Jordan?" He had her attention now. What was he going to tell her? Wait she knew! "Wait, Jordan, I had no idea that you were going to be here this weekend. Mary and Joe led me to believe that it would just be the three of us. I know you probably think that I had them bring you here but I didn't." Steph looked at him to gauge his reaction. He didn't show one. She hated it when he did that.

"What? Steph, no, that's not what I was thinking. I know that Joe and Mary tricked both of us into getting up here."

"Oh," Steph didn't know where Jordan was going with this then.

"I want to tell you why I broke up with you before, Steph."

"I know why, J, you made it perfectly clear that day. Why drag up the past?"

"Because you don't know the real reason. You only know the reasons I fed you then. Steph those weren't my honest to God real reasons," Jordan confessed.

"Then what were your real reasons?" she asked, watching him closely.

"My real reasons were that I was scared to death. You got to me in a way no one else ever had or could. I loved you more than I loved life and that scared the living hell out of me."

Steph looked at him trying to tell if he was lying or not. "Damn you to hell, Mr. Knight! How could you do that to me?! I loved you so much and you broke my heart! And all for what? Because you were scared! Well I have a news flash for you, Jordan!" Steph started pacing the room and yelling at him. "I was scared too but I didn't run away from you!" Her tears were filling her eyes as she yelled at him.

"Steph, I..." Jordan didn't know what to say. He knew that he had hurt her before but he hadn't known how deep her pain had actually went. It hurt him like hell to know that he had caused her that kind of pain. "Steph, I'm so sorry that I hurt you. I know that words can't make up for what I put you through and I don't expect you to forgive me but please know that I am sorry. I never meant to hurt you, Steph. I just had never felt like that before and didn't know how to handle the feelings."

"So you ran away from them," Steph stated. It wasn't a question.

"So I ran away from them. I was afraid that you'd break my heart and so I wanted to get away before you had the chance." Jordan couldn't look at her as he said all of this. He was ashamed of his past actions now and didn't want to see the hatred and contempt in her eyes. "I'll understand if you hate me, Steph. Hell, I hate me right now for all that I put you through. You deserve someone better than me anyhow. I don't know what I did to begin with to even deserve someone as great as you were and still are." Steph listened to Jordan continue to ramble on. Although he was saying a bunch of stuff that didn't really make a lot of sense, he had said the one thing that she had needed to hear. He had appologized to her and she could see in his eyes that he really did mean every single word he was saying. "I love you, Steph. Maybe I always will," Jordan continued on with his speech.

"What?" Steph wasn't sure she had heard him right. "What did you just say?"

"Huh?" Jordan looked up at her. He had a few tear streaks on his cheeks and that touched Steph in a way she had never known.

"Did you just say that you loved me, Jordan?"

Jordan met her gaze, "Yes, Stephanie, I still love you will all my heart and soul. I know that you'll never love me again but I do still love you."

"I love you too, Jordan," she said softly.

"What?" Jordan had been rambling on again and wasn't sure he had heard her right.

"I said that I love you too, Jordan."

"Why?" Jordan couldn't for the life of him understand how she could still even like him, let alone love him.

"Why? I don't know. I mean I guess after everything you don't really deserve it but I can't help it. I never stopped loving you and that's why it hurt so much when you left me. I kept thinking that if I had been better somehow and made you happier that you would have stuck around." It had taken a lot for her to admit to that. Those had been her honest feelings and she hadn't planned on sharing so much, but she had and so now all she could do was see what Jordan's reaction was going to be.

"No, Steph, none of that was your fault. It was all me," Jordan stood up and walked over to her. Steph's tears had started falling right after he had said he loved her. "Don't cry, baby," Jordan whispered, as he pulled her into his arms and into a hug.

Steph pulled back and her eyes searched his. "You'll never leave me again?" she asked. If he told her no she'd believe him. No matter what she'd believe him. Right now anything he told her she'd believe. She had to put some of her trust back into him.

"Never. You're stuck with me Steph," Jordan grinned. "That is if you want me." Please want me, Jordan thought.

"Hmmm," Steph pretended to think about it. "Well, I guess I have to go tell my cute paperboy that I can't invite him in for coffee anymore."

"Yeah, I guess so," Jordan smiled. "Am I worth losing your cute paperboy over?"

Steph's eyes went to his, "Do you even have to ask, Jordan?" She leaned up and pulled his lips down to hers. Steph and Jordan both sighed as their lips touched. The kiss was one of regreat of the past and hope for the future-their future.

"Well, I guess they've made up," Joe grinned as he came into the living room.

"Yeah I guess so," Mary agreed.

"We should get some kind of credit for this one," Joe grinned.

Steph and Jordan had yet to notice their two friends and were still locked in their embrace.

"Nah, I think that this is good enough thanks."

* * * * * * * *

"Now both of you stay in there," Joe called from the kitchen. "We are going to suprise you."

Steph and Mary looked at each other. "Should we trust them not to burn the place down?" Mary asked.

"Do we have a choice?" Steph countered.

Jordan and Joe passed the open door of the kitchen just then and the girls had to smile at their men. Jordan had a "kiss the cook" apron on and Joe a chef's hat and apron.

"Well, at least they are dressed for the part," Mary said.

"Right, even if they don't have a clue as to what they are doing," Steph chuckled.

"Hey, now, I heard that," Jordan called from the kitchen. He came to the doorway of the kitchen and leaned against it looking from Steph to Mary and then back to Steph. He was holding a big wooden spoon dripping with something.

Steph smiled sweetly at him, "You wouldn't have heard if you hadn't been being nosey."

Jordan grinned guiltly. "But I wasn't the only one. Little Joey Joe in there wasn't just an innocent bystander."

"Hey now," Joe poked his head out of the kitchen, "I'm innocent until proven guilty."

"Sure you are, sweetie," Mary smiled at him.

Joe grinned, "Come on, J, we have work to do." Joe turned his attention back to whatever he was doing in the kitchen and Jordan winked at Steph and turned to follow him.

* * * * * * * * * * *

"Okay girls close your eyes," Jordan called from the kitchen.

Steph and Mary looked at each other but did as they were asked. Steph felt Jordan take her hands and pull her to her feet.

"Where are we going?" Jordan put her hands on his shoulders and walked backwards in front of her.

"You'll see," was his only reply.

Steph allowed Jordan to lead her to wherever they were going while Mary let Joe do the same thing.

"Okay open your eyes," Jordan whispered in her ear.

Steph looked around to see where Jordan had lead her. "Wow," she murmured. Jordan had set up a picnic in their bedroom. He had a checkered blanket spead out on the hardwood floor in front of the fireplace and a basket that Steph guessed was filled with their dinner sitting on it.

"So you like?" he asked. Jordan wanted their first night back together to be perfect.

"It's wonderful, Jordan," Steph told him. The fire was blazing and casting shadows in the other wise dark room. Jordan struck a match and lit a few candles on the other side of the room to give them a little more light to see by. "But where are Mary and Joe?"

Jordan got a fake hurt look. "I go to all this trouble and you are worried about where our friends are? Well if you would rather eat with

Joe and Mary I can go get them but I think Joe might kill me. I'm sure both of them are very happy in their room."

"Ah, so twin picnics," Steph smiled.

"Nah, Joe had other plans," Jordan winked at her.

Steph laughed, "Okay I see. So let's see what you have in this basket." Steph sat down on the blanket and reached for the wicker basket. Jordan was on her in a flash pulling her hands back.

"Not yet," he said.

"What do you have in mind first?" she asked.

The thoughts running through Jordan's mind at that question had him trying to control his raging hormones. Jordan, he warned himself, go slow. Don't blow this with her again. Be happy with whatever she is willing to give you. It's not about sex, not with Steph. Looking at her with those trusting eyes, he realized how true that statement was. He loved being with her no matter what they were doing. He loved hearing her thoughts and view points on different things.

"I thought we could get caught up on each other and what we've been doing," Jordan said.

"Oh." Why did his answer disappoint her? Steph wasn't sure but it had. She wanted to feel his arms around her again and the safety in them. She had missed that so much these last few months. Don't rush things, Steph, she warned herself. Be happy with whatever happens or doesn't happen tonight. Had she sounded disappointed? Nah, J, you're imagining things. You only wanted her to sound that way. They both slowly started catching the other up on their lives. It had been six months since their break up and after an hour of talking, they were as if no time had passed between them.

"Steph?" Jordan said softly.

"What?"

"Can I ask you something?" Jordan wasn't sure if he should ask her this but had decided what the hell.

"Yes," she answered. She wasn't sure what he was going to ask but she felt as comfortable around him then as she had all those months ago when they had been together. Whatever he asked, she knew she would answer.

"Did you see anyone else while we were apart?" Jordan didn't know why that he had to know this. It shouldn't have mattered but it did for some reason.

"We were apart for six months, Jordan. Yes, I dated," she said.

"Oh," Jordan looked down at his hands. "Steph?"

"Yeah?"

"Another question?"

"Okay."

"Did you sleep with any of them?" Why am I pushing this? He didn't know but the curiousity was killing him. He HAD to know.

"Jordan? What does it matter?" Steph wasn't sure where his curiousity was coming from.

"Please, Steph, I have to know. I'm not sure why I have to know but I do."

"Well, you hurt me a lot, Jordan, and I wanted to get back at you somehow. I knew that you would probably never even know what I was doing but I still couldn't stop myself." Steph's mind was a million miles away thinking back to the last six months of her social life.

"Is that a yes?"

Steph's eyes met his, "Yes, it is."

Jordan wasn't sure what he had hoped to accomplish by learning her answer to this question. It wasn't like he hadn't had sex the last six months but none of those girls had meant anything to him and he knew that Steph couldn't just love 'em and leave 'em. Her heart got involved. Isn't that what had happened to them before?

Jordan was quiet for so long that Steph misunderstood his reasons for why. "I'm sorry to have disappointed you, Jordan, but you already told me that I was nothing better than a street walker the last time we seen each other." Steph jumped up off of the blanket and headed for the door.

Jordan was on his feet and after her in no time. "Steph.....Steph... DAMMIT Steph stop!"

She turned and looked at him from the middle of the hallway. It was dark save for a lamp in the living room lighting a path and Jordan could see how glassy her eyes looked from her held back tears. "What!?" she asked.

"Will you come back in here so we can talk?"

"No, anything you care to say to me, you can say right here." Steph had a stubborn set in her chin and Jordan knew she wasn't budging.

"No, I can't Steph. Please come back in here. We'll disturb Mary and Joe if we stay out here," Jordan pointed out.

Steph still refused to move.

Jordan let out a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair. "Okay, fine, if you want to have this conversation right here, then fine. Steph, you took my silence the wrong way. I'm sorry if you felt that I was thinking bad of you because of what you did. I wasn't. And when in the hell did I call you a street walker?!"

"Don't tell me you don't remember," Steph told him. His appology had no effect on her this time. She was pissed off at him and nothing he could say would help her mood.

"I don't Steph. Please, when did I say that? And I'm sorry if I did."

"IF!! IF!! What do you mean IF you did??!!" Steph's voice was rising.

"Shhh," Jordan pointed to Joe and Mary's room.

"I don't give a damn if they hear or not!" Steph yelled at him.

As if on cue, the door opened and Joe looked out at them. "Uh, guys?"

"What Joe?" Jordan sighed.

"You okay out here?" he asked, looking back and forth between the two of them.

"I am just dandy," Steph said sarcastically.

Joe chuckled, "Okay dumb question. What happened?" Mary had come up behind him by this time and both of them were looking back and forth between Jordan and Steph.

"Nothing," Steph said and turned and headed for the living room.

"Okay, Jordan, what the hell happened?" Mary asked him.

"Nothing," Jordan turned and slammed his bedroom door shut.

Joe and Mary looked at each other. "I knew it was too good to be true," Mary sighed.

"It'll work out," Joe told her.

"Yeah, right! That's why Steph is miserable in the living room and Jordan is pouting in his room."

"I'll talk to J and you--"

"I'll talk to Steph."

Joe grinned, "See we'll get this fixed."

* * * * * * * * * * *

"I don't know, Joe. I just don't know." Jordan shook his head bewildered. "I mean we were talking and getting along great and then BAM!," Jordan smacks his hands together, "she's pissed off at me."

"What did you say to her?" Joe asked. He knew his friends too well to believe that Steph would be this upset for no reason.

Jordan looked at Joe and sighed. "I asked her if she had sex while we were apart."

"Knight, how dumb are you?" Joe exclaimed. "What does that matter? You weren't withholding any of your urges the last six months!"

"I know Joe, I know. I'm not saying what I did was right or even smart but I had to ask her." Jordan met Joe's eyes, "I had to, Joe."

"Why?" Joe stood in front of Jordan waiting for his answer.

Jordan shook his head, "I just don't know."

"Well that's just great, Jordan! That's fucking fantastic!" Joe was pissed at Jordan now and Jordan wasn't sure why.

"Joe, why does this bother you so much? I mean it's not like this effects you in any way."

"J, it effects me. Believe me, it effects me."

"How?"

Joe nodded his head towards the living room where Steph and Mary were. "They're friends, Jordan. If either one is hurting the other will be too or pissed off at whoever is causing the pain. Hell, maybe both. You know how girls are! If Steph gets hurt again, Mary will kill me. And J, Steph is my friend too and I love her and if you hurt her, I'll have to kick your ass. You're my best friend but you are being so dumb with this."

"What can I do?" Jordan asked. He wanted Steph back in his life so bad that he was aching with the need to have her nearby.

Joe smiled, "I have a plan." What plan? he asked himself. He didn't know but he was sure he could come up with something that would help fix the new mess Jordan had gotten himself into.

* * * * * * * * *

"He said he didn't remember that," Steph sighed. She was done crying over Jordan Knight. Her emotions on him were so jumbled and mixed up that she had decided to turn them off.

"Well, maybe the reason he didn't remember was because he hadn't meant it when he said it," Mary suggested. "Steph, you knew that before when you and Jordan were together that it was going to send sooner or later. Both of you had so much going on and if it hadn't ended, one of you were going to end up hurt."

"But I got hurt anyhow," Steph pointed out.

"I know you did but think about this, maybe he did what he did before because he knew that the hurt from his words wouldn't be as bad as the hurt of loving him and not being near him. Steph, he wanted you to hate him when you went back home. Do you know how hard that must have been for him?"

"What? Mary, what are you talking about?"

"Steph, you both knew that sooner or later you would have to go back home, right?"

"Well, yeah, but...."

"Okay, well think about this. Jordan and you both had an amazing time together before but then as the time came closer to an end it went downhill, right?"

"Yes, but.."

"Hang on, ok?"

"Ok."

"Steph, Jordan loved you too much for you to pine away waiting for him back home. Neither of you were sure if you'd ever see the other again and he didn't want you to sit around waiting for him and so he hurt you the only way he knew how...."

"By saying that I didn't know the difference..." Steph couldn't finish her thought.

"Between great sex and love," Jordan's voice filled the room. Mary and Steph looked up startled to see him in the room.

"Mar..." Jordan started to say.

Mary jumped up, "I'm leaving. No need to ask."

Jordan smiled, "Thanks."

Mary stopped in front of him. She hugged him and whispered in his ear, "Hurt her and I'll kill you."

"Joe said that same thing," Jordan whispered back.

"Good." Mary turned back to Steph. "If you need me, you know where to find me."

Steph nodded.

"Can we talk?" Jordan looked at her from across the room, not sure if he should come closer or not.

"What is there to talk about, Jordan? You said plenty before." Steph refused to make this easy for him.

"Dammit, Steph, I love you! Can't you see that?!" Jordan exclaimed. "Let me explain myself."

Steph glared at him.

"Please," he added in a softer tone. "Please, Steph, don't let this end this way. God we just got each other back and here we are at each others throats again."

"And who's fault is that!?" Steph demanded.

"Yes, a lot of this is my fault. I admit to that. Please hear me out," Jordan requested, his voice filled with emotion.

Steph wasn't sure what to do. She had so many conflicting thoughts going through her mind and heart. Her heart wanted to hear him out but her head kept telling her that he would only hurt her again. "I want to, Jordan, I do, but I'm so confused," she confessed. "I don't want to be hurt again, Jordan. You have the power to hurt me whether I like it or not."

"I don't want to hurt you anymore Steph. I'm so sorry that I ever caused you any kind of pain." Jordan walked over to her and leaned down in front of her. "Please hear me out."

* * * * * * * * * * *

"I knew this would happen," Mary exclaimed, pacing the den. "We shouldn't have butted in and tried to make things happen. Now, Steph is hurt. Joe, we hurt both of them. I seen the pain in their eyes."

"Mary, calm down." Joe took her hand and pulled her down on the couch. "The pain that they are feeling, they needed to feel. Honey, we knew that they missed each other. Things will work out. Wait and see."

"What if they don't? Joe, what if we just made things worse?" Mary's eyes searched his face for the answers.

Joe sighed. "I honestly don't know."

"I told Steph what Jordan told me about his break up with Steph and how he only said those things to hurt her."

"And?"

"I don't know. Jordan walked in the room and I left so that they could talk," she said. "This could get worse before it gets better."

* * * * * * * * * * *

"Okay, I'm waiting," Steph told him. She wasn't going to make this easy for him. Steph felt that she had suffered enough with this and so why not let Jordan experience at least some of what she had been through.

Jordan knew that this wasn't going to be easy. He had hurt her so bad and then he had pretended not to remember why her heart was broken before. Why did I do that? Jordan wasn't sure. It had seemed like a good idea at the time but now....

"If you aren't going to say anything, I'm leaving. I don't know why I let Mary talk me into coming here anyhow. Even before I found out you were here I didn't think that this was such a hot idea." Steph stood up and headed to the hall closet for her coat.

"Where are you going?" Jordan finally found his voice.

"Why do you care?" Steph replied. She pulled her coat on and turned to leave.

"Steph, please," Jordan said, his voice hoarse. She can't leave! Not yet.

Steph turned back and looked at him one last time before throwing the door open and facing the harsh cold weather. Facing the snow was better than staying and facing Jordan.

Jordan looked at the closed door a few mintutes, not believing that she had just walked out on him. She would rather face a blizzard than talk to him. What in the hell was he going to do now?

"What's wrong?!" Joe and Mary came rushing into the room.

"What was that sound?" Mary asked, looking around the room.

Had he said that outloud? Jordan wasn't sure.

"Jordan, where is Steph?" Mary asked him.

"She left," Jordan answered, still not believing it himself.

"What do you mean she left?"

"What do you think I mean by it? You're a smart girl, Mary, you figure it out," Jordan spat at her.

"Knight, just because you fucked your life up doesn't give you the right to snap at us, okay?" Joe told him.

Jordan glared at both of them. "Go to hell, Joe. I wouldn't be in this damn mess if you both would have just left us alone. We were doing fine the way we were before."

"Yeah, you're right, Jordan. You were just wonderful before," Joe replied sarcastically. "Everybody loved you so damn much and wanted you around all the time. You were the life of the party."

"I don't need this, Joe." Jordan ran his hand through his hair and looked out the picture window in the living room. He didn't see Steph anywhere. Her car was still there, though, and so he knew she hadn't went far. Jordan dropped his gaze from the window and looked back at Joe and then Mary.

"Well?" Mary asked him.

"What?" he asked.

"Don't just stand here. Go after her!" Mary told him.

"Yeah and then what? She doesn't want me anymore. Mary, I tried but whatever was between us before, isn't there anymore." Jordan didn't want to believe those words but it was looking more and more like that was the case.

"Dammit, Jordan, don't tell me you really believe that! You both are so much alike, it's scarey. Neither one of you will let your damn pride go long enough to admit that maybe you both were wrong. If you don't go after her, you'll always wonder what would have happened if you had."

Jordan had never seen Mary mad at him before and so he knew that she was serious with this. But he still wasn't sure if he could do what she said. "Mar, I can't.. what if she.."

"Don't think, Jordan. Don't think about any negative things that could happen. Just feel. Go with your heart. It'll never lie to you."

"And what if she--"

"Just go, Jordan." Mary pulled his coat out of the closet and handed it to him.

"Joe?" Jordan tossed a look at his friend.

"Listen to her, J," Joe told him.

"And what do I say to her when I find her?" Jordan wanted to know.

"Speak from the heart, Jordan. It'll come to you," Mary promised him.

* * * * * * * * * *

Jordan knew exactly where to find her. She had always went to the exact same place everytime they had argued when they had stayed there before. It would be no different now. Walking behind the cabin, Jordan wasn't disappointed. Steph sat on the swing hanging off of one of the branches of the huge oak tree. Her back was to him but he could tell she had heard him come up behind her.

"I had to do it, Steph," Jordan told her softly. "I couldn't have bared it if you had went back home still loving me like you did. I knew that if you had and then we never seen each other again that you would wait forever for me and I didn't want you to do that. I'm so sorry I hurt you, Stephanie but I had to. Please tell me that you understand." Jordan paused collecting his thoughts and waiting for Steph to say something. She didn't. Jordan took a deep breath and plunged ahead. "I know that you won't believe me when I say this but I do love you, Steph. I love you so much that it scares the hell out of me. You were the only one who ever got to me, Steph. I could have casual affairs before and then go on from them like nothing had ever happened but then when I met you and we spent that time together....." Jordan got lost in thought for a moment. "You changed all that Steph. You weren't just a casual thing for me. And I know that I said some mean and hateful things to you before you went home before but I thought that if I didn't then you would still have hope that we could be together and it wouldn't have worked. Not then. It wasn't the right time."

"And now?" Steph asked softly. Her back was still to him but he could hear the tears in her voice.

"I want this to work. I want you to be in my life. I want you to not hate me like I know that you do." Jordan stared at her back, willing her to turn around and face him. She didn't let him down. Slowly Steph stood up and turned to face him. Her tears were falling freely and Jordan had to clutch his hands together to keep from wiping them away.

"I don't hate you," she said, meeting his eyes.

Neither could think of the right words for the moment. They stared at each other across the short distance between them. The snow fell softly to the ground and settled at their feet. Their eyes said more than words ever could as they watched the other. The pain of the past still lingered around but both were slowly letting it go.

* * * * * * * * *

"What are you doing?" Joe asked coming into the kitchen.

"Shhh, they might hear you," Mary told him.

"Why are you easedropping on them?" Joe smiled.

"I'm not," she grinned. Turning her attention back to the window she could see Steph and Jordan watching each other.

"So, what's going on?" Joe asked, pulling her out of her chair only to drop into it himself and then pull her onto his lap.

"Have a seat, Joe," Mary told him. Joe chuckled. "Well, I can't hear a thing but I don't think that they are talking. Look at them."

Joe looked out the window and could see them clearly. "I think we don't have to worry about them anymore."

"Yeah? I don't know..."

"Mar, trust me. Come on. This was supposed to be a weekend get away for us too and so far all we have done was help Steph and Jordan get back together."

"That was the reason for the trip, Joe," Mary reminded him.

"I know but I was hoping for some fringe benifits to this trip," Joe smiled, pulling her closer.

"Such as?" she asked, playing along for the moment.

Joe didn't answer with words. Actions spoke louder than words ever could have.

* * * * * * * *

Steph slowly walked closer to Jordan. She wanted to close the distance between them. They had been apart for too long. The misunderstandings and hurtful things of the past had put a huge gap between them for far too long. She looked up into his wonderful brown eyes and seen the love he felt for her in them. "I forgive you, Jordan. I can look back now and see that you did what you felt was right at the time. We can move on from this."

"Together?" Jordan asked, his voice rough with emotion.

Steph nodded, "I'd like it to be together. I love you, Jordan."

Jordan pulled her into his arms and hugged her tightly. Steph returned his embrace just as eagerly. Both had missed so much during these many months. Jordan pulled back and met her eyes. He had never thought that he'd hear Steph tell him those words and mean it again. He hadn't thought the he deserved her love and forgiveness. "I love you, too, Steph, so very much." Jordan's lips moved to hers and as the snow fell they were oblivious to the cold weather around them. The fire had been started in their hearts again.

The End

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