Valentine

By: Mary

<If there were no words

No way to speak

I would still hear you

If there were no tears

No way to feel inside

I'd still feel for you>

"Jordan? Jordan, please, I need to know that you can hear me. Please, baby, please just some kind of sign." The tears in Mary's voice tore at the nurse who was checking the monitors hooked to him. Mary grasped his hand tightly in hers. Almost as if she was afraid that if she let go, she'd let go of him in another way that she wasn't ready for. Not yet. She couldn't lose him now. Not when they had finally both been open and honest with the other and gotten their feelings out. Not when he had only 24 hours ago proposed to her. "Don't give up on me, Jordan. I need you." Her eyes stayed on his face. His face. His once beautiful, flawless face that now had bruises, scapes and a few stiches across his chin. Mary's eyes moved down slowly, noticing the other changes the accident had brought. His arms had bandages that covered some deep gashes he had gotten from the glass. This knuckles were bruised up and he had ointment on a few burn marks.

Why had he insisted on staying until the end? The party had been over long ago but Jordan had wanted to stay until the sun came up. They had walked over to the small hill over looking the lake and watched the sun rise. They had spent all of Valentine's day together. He had made the day one she wasn't ever going to forget. Everything had been too perfect. Mary remembered the phrase from a movie she loved and had to sigh at the irony. "They need thorns or else it's just too much perfection." They had been talking about roses but she could fit this into her life so well. Everything needs it's thorns or you risk heartache when your perfection is cut into.

<All of my life

I have been waiting for

All you give to me

You've opened my eyes

And shown me how to love unselfishly

I will give you my heart

Until the end of time>

Jordan had suggested the walk and Mary had agreed. She wanted to have him all to herself for a little while. He had known everyone at the party and so a moment alone had been rare. They had sat in silence for a little while on the hill. Comforted by just knowing the other was within reach. Jordan's thumb idly stroked Mary's palm while he held her hand.

"I haven't shared a sunrise with anyone in a long time. It's one of those special things that you save for special people that you hold close to your heart." Jordan wasn't looking at her. His eyes were focused on the lake but his words were clear and precise. He grew silent for a minute but the silence

was more calming than in uncomfort. He looked at her in the light that was starting to form around them as the sun came up. "I love you. I know I don't say that enough but I do love you."

"I know you do, Jordan. I love you, too." Their eyes met silently and Jordan found the words he knew he had to tell her. He had been worried about not knowing what to say but being with her now, he just knew what to say.

"Mary, I've never did this before and so I don't know the right way but all of this comes from the bottom of my heart." He stopped a second before continuing. "I want to share every sunrise and sunset with you. I want to be able to hold you at night while I dream about you." Tears filled her eyes as he continued. "I love you more than I love life and I'm scared to death about that but it feels too right to be wrong. I want to be the only one you dream about. I want you to marry me." Jordan's deep brown eyes never left hers. "What do you say, Mar? Will you marry me?"

"I told you yes, Jordan. I want to marry you and give you that family we talked about yesterday morning. I want you back in my arms and I want to see you smile again and hear your voice. I need you, Jordan. More than you know, honey, I need you." Mary brought his hand up to her lips and kissed the back of it before slowly letting go. She hated letting go of him. Not touching him somehow during this killed her. Mary looked back at him as she walked to the door. Maybe he'd open his eyes and give her that smile that warmed her heart and laugh about all of them thinking he had been in a coma. Maybe he's sit up open his arms wide for her and she could sink into his embrace one more time. None of those things happen though. She reached the door and Jordan was still in his deep sleep-like state. "I'll be back soon, honey. I love you." She waited from habit to hear his echoed 'I love you, too.' but it never came. The lump in her throat made her chest feel tight. He had to wake up soon. Her Jordan had to come back to her. She needed him too much to ever think of living without him. Tomorrow didn't even seem possible if he wasn't there with her to face it.

<And even if the sun refused to shine

Even if romance ran out of rhyme

You would still have my heart

Until the end of time

You're all I need my love

My Valentine>

"You will?" Jordan's joy at her answer showed on his face. He pulled her onto his lap and cradled her face in his hands. "I love you so much angel." His words brushed across her skin. Mary's arms came around his neck as she leaned in to accept his kiss. Jordan's arms tightened around her holding her close. His lips were soft and gentle at first and slowly became more demanding. Jordan's hand came up to undo the buttons on her shirt as his tongue gained access to her mouth. She moaned into his mouth when his hand cupped her breast.

"Jordan," she breathed against his skin. Mary pulled back enough to meet his desire filled brown eyes. "Not here."

Disappointment flashed across his face before he nodded. He helped her button her shirt back before taking her hands and helping her up. "Come on, we'll say some quick goodbyes and then we're going back to my place."

Mary took his outstretched hand in hers and followed him back to the house. It was the last time she walked anywhere with him.

"Damnit, Jordan, wake up!" She was back at his bedside and she no longer hid her tears from him. He wasn't awake to see them anyway. "You promised me that you'd be there when I needed you! Well, I need you now and you aren't here. I need you to hold me and tell me that everything is going to be okay. I need you to be the strong one so that I can lean on you and break down a little. I need YOU!" Mary sank down on the edge of his bed. Her eyes stayed trained to his face. Her tears came down and her chest hurt from holding them back for so long. She waited for him to flinch. Anything. Something to show her that he had heard her.

<If there were no words

No way to speak

I would still hear you>

The silence that filled the room echoed in Mary's ears. Jordan wasn't going to wake up and make all her worries go away. He wasn't going to be her knight in shining armor that comes and rescues her this time. She was going to have to be strong on her own. Her thoughts consumed her and so she missed the slight movement of Jordan's arm. She missed the flutter of his eyelids.

<If there were no tears

No way to feel inside

I'd still feel for you>

"I love you, angel." His voice was barely a whisper and Mary jumped at the sound.

"Jordan?" Her tone was almost as if she didn't believe he was there.

"Don't cry for me, angel." His deep brown eyes looked glassy and she could see the strain it took for him to speak.

"I love you, Jordan." Her tears caught in her throat and she could barely get the words out.

"Don't cry for me." His eyes dropped back closed and the grip he had on her hand relaxed.

"I love you, Jordan." Her tears filled the silence of the room as she cried for the love that was lost to her forever.

The End.

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