Tangled Web

By: Tracey Plouffe

copyright 1999

 Tracey was alone in the studio. She was waiting for the rest of the girls in the group to get there. She was working on some new moves for their upcoming tour. She was a member of ‘Mystique’, an all girl group, rapidly gaining popularity in the music business. There were five girls in the group. Tracey was the oldest, at 23. She was tall, with red hair and stunning green eyes, she had a warped sense of humor, and was the creative mind in the group. Next was Lindsey. She was 22, blond hair, blue eyes, funny and one of the nicest people anyone could ever meet. She pretty much kept everyone in line. The middle girl in the group, was Nisey. She was 20, with honey colored skin, brown hair and eyes, funny, stubborn, and she didn’t take crap from anyone. Nikki was 19, brown hair and brown eyes, she tended to get a bit hyper when given too much sugar. Things also tended to fly over her head, but everyone loved her. The baby of the group was Jessica. She was 18, with long red hair, streaked with blond, and brown eyes. She was the one everyone could count on to always be there. Even though she was the youngest, and Tracey was the oldest, they were the closest.

Tracey was so involved in thought, she didn’t hear the door of the studio open. "How’s it going, Trace?" Tracey spun around and lost her balance, startled. Jessica walked over to her and helped her up. "Graceful," Jessica said.

"You scared me!" Tracey laughed.

"I don’t know how. I made enough noise when I came in," Jessica said.

"I was lost in thought. I’m trying to work out some new steps for the show," Tracey said.

"We don’t go on tour until next month."

"I know. That’s why I want to get everything done now, then we can work out the small kinks in the show. I’m really nervous. I mean, we’re opening for the Backstreet Boys!"

"I know! I’m excited! That Nick is adorable!" laughed Jessica.

"I just want everything to go right for the shows!"

"I thought Lindsey was the perfectionist," Jessica joked. "Relax! Everything will go great!"

"I know, you’re right." They both turned at the sound of the door opening. Lindsey, Nikki and Nisey entered the studio.

"Hey girls," Jessica said. She was greeted with a chorus of hello’s and hey’s.

"Are you girls ready to rock?" Nikki asked.

"Yep," they replied. They spent the first 2 hours running through routines. Then they worked on a song they were thinking of putting into the upcoming tour. It was a new one, that Nisey and Tracey had written together, called ‘Every Word.’

Later that day...

Tracey was sitting in her apartment, relaxing, after rehearsing all day. She was wiped out. They had spent most of the day going over and over their routines and songs. At least tomorrow was Sunday, she would have the day off. She flipped on the television and was busy flipping through the channels, when the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Tracey." Tracey groaned, inwardly.

"What do you want, Pete?"

"I think we need to talk."

"We don’t have anything to talk about," Tracey said.

"Oh, I think we do. I heard you girls are going on tour with the Backstreet Boys," he said.

"So what?"

"Well, I think there is something we would like you to do for us," Pete said.

"I don’t think so," Tracey replied.

"Oh, I wouldn’t be so fast to say no. I think there is something in your past that you might not want everyone to know. If you don’t help us, I might, uh, accidently let it, uh, slip," he said.

Tracey felt the color drain from her face. She was sure if people found out about what had happened, it would ruin the group. Only Jessica knew about it. "You can’t do this, Pete."

"Oh, I can and I will, if you don’t cooperate. I’ll be in touch." Tracey heard him hang up.

Pete was a member of a band, trying to make it big. When Tracey had first moved to Florida, she had made the mistake of dating him. They dated for 3 months, until Tracey figured out what a scumbag he was. She didn’t know what had possessed her to tell him her darkest secret, but she had. After they broke up, she had worried that he would tell everyone, but after a few months of silence, Tracey relaxed. After a few years of hard work, the group got the chance to tour with the Backstreet Boys. She couldn’t let him ruin their chance!

She spent the night worrying about what would happen if he told her secret. Would it be so bad? Would their fans hate her? She couldn’t take a chance and find out. Not yet.

Sunday morning...

*ring, ring* Tracey fumbled around for the phone. It seemed like she had just gotten to sleep. She had spent the night tossing and turning. "‘lo?" she mumbled.

"Hey did I wake you up?" a cheerful voice asked. It was too cheerful for this early in the morning.

"Yes," she sighed. She looked at the clock. It read 9:15 am. The last time she had looked at the clock, before finally falling into a fitful sleep, was 6:30. She hadn’t even gotten 3 hours of sleep.

"Sorry! I’ve been up for ages," Nikki apologized.

"Have you been eating cotton candy for breakfast, again?" Tracey asked, smiling.

"Nope, why?"

"Never mind. What’s up?"

"I was just wondering if you wanted to do something today. I don’t have anything to do."

"I don’t know. I think I’m gonna stay home today. I didn’t get much sleep last night. I need to clean."

"Ok. Well, I’ll talk to you on Tuesday, then," Nikki replied cheerfully. Tracey said good bye and hung up the phone, shaking her head.

She laid back down, but couldn’t get back to sleep. After a half an hour, she got up and got in the shower. When she was dressed, she decided she didn’t want to hang around the apartment, in case Pete called. She turned her answering machine off, so he couldn’t leave a message, then grabbed her keys and wallet and left.

A different part of town....

"Are you ready for the tour, AJ?" Nick asked.

"Yeah. I think we’re ready. We still have a few weeks, though."

"Do you know anything about the group opening for us?"

"Yeah, I checked them out at one of their gigs, without them knowing. They’re all really cute. There was one that stood out, she had red hair and fiery eyes," AJ said. "They’re really good. Very good dancing and singing."

"I can’t wait to meet them!" Nick said.

"Well, I have one of their phone numbers. I can call them and see if they want to get to know each other before the tour," AJ suggested. "Let’s see if the other guys want to meet them." AJ and Nick talked to the rest of the guys and they agreed that it would be a good idea to meet with the girl group.

AJ dialed the number. "Hello?"

"Hi. Is this one of the girls from Mystique?"

"Yeah," the girl answered.

"Hi, this is AJ McLean, from the Backstreet Boys. I didn’t catch your name," he said.

"Oh, it’s Lindsey. What can I do for you, Mr. McLean?"

"First of all, it’s AJ."

"Ok, AJ."

"The guys and I were wondering if you girls would like to meet, so we can get to know each other before the tour," AJ said.

"I don’t see why not. I’d have to ask the others, but I’m sure it won’t be a problem. When did you have in mind?"

"Well, how about tomorrow? Why don’t you call the others, then call me back? My number is 555-2369, ok?" AJ asked.

"Sure. I’ll call you in a little while," Lindsey said. She hung up the phone. She couldn’t believe she was going to meet the Backstreet Boys. She knew they were going on tour with them, but it didn’t really seem real, until that phone call. She picked up the phone and dialed Tracey’s number. She let it ring 7 times. Usually the answering machine picked up, but it didn’t this time. "Odd," Lindsey said. She called Nisey and Nikki. They agreed to get together with the boys tomorrow. So, she picked up the phone to call Jessica.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Jess. What’s up?"

"Oh, hey Linds. Not much here. What’re you up to?"

"Well, I just got a telephone call from AJ McLean. He and the other guys want to meet with us tomorrow. I was wondering if that was okay with you?"

"Do you even need to ask?" Jessica asked. "Of course I wouldn’t mind meeting with them!"

"Good. Have you talked to Tracey? I haven’t been able to get a hold of her."

"Not since yesterday."

"Hmmm, maybe I’ll try again later. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind meeting with them. I’m supposed to call AJ back and let him know if tomorrow is ok."

"Yeah, go ahead and call," Jessica said. They said good-bye and Lindsey dialed AJ’s number.

"Party Central! Can I help you?" a voice joked.

"Hello. May I speak with AJ please?" Lindsey laughed.

"Yeah, hold on," Lindsey heard the voice say. In the background, she could hear some guys talking.

"Hello?"

"Hi, AJ. This is Lindsey."

"Hey Lindsey. What’s up?"

"Well, I talked to the girls, and they agreed to meet with you guys. I didn’t get a hold of one of them, but I’m sure she won’t mind."

"Cool," AJ said. They made plans to meet the next day.

Tracey didn’t know where she was going. She just knew that she needed to get away. She drove for a few hours. She had the top off, and enjoyed the feel of the wind whipping around her. When she ended up at a spot she had found when she had first arrived in Florida, she sat in the back of the jeep, looking into the water. She just needed to think. She leaned back against the seat and closed her eyes. The previous night’s lack of sleep must have gotten to her, because when she opened her eyes, it was getting dark. She got out of the jeep and stretched and then looked at the watch on her wrist. It read 7:30. She couldn’t believe how long she had slept! She got in her jeep and turned back toward Orlando. On the drive back, she tried to think of ways to avoid Pete. If she didn’t talk to him, maybe he would leave her alone. But she knew better. When Pete wanted something, he didn’t stop until he got it. He didn’t care who he hurt while doing it.

When she got back into Orlando, it was late. She crawled into bed and pulled the covers over her head. She was awakened the next morning by the ringing of the phone. She sat up and looked at the phone, trying to decide whether or not to answer it. She decided against it. She got up and ran water for a bubble bath. She grabbed a book and got into the tub and relaxed.

Jessica’s house...

"No answer. Where do you think she is?" Jessica said, setting the phone down.

"I don’t know. Do you think we should be worried?" Nisey asked.

"Naw, I’m sure she’s fine. Maybe she’s out shopping or something. Why don’t we leave a note on her door, and maybe she can meet us later," Jessica said. They got into Lindsey’s red convertible. When they got to Tracey’s apartment, Jessica ran in knocked on her door. When no one answered, she taped a note to the door. She turned and left, and didn’t see the note slip to the floor.

Backstreet Boys...

They were meeting the girls at a local restaurant, to have lunch, then decide what to do from there.

"Hey AJ, is that them?" Brian asked. AJ looked over at the door, where some girls had just entered. He looked at them closely.

"Yeah, that’s them," he said. He only seen four.

"Dang, AJ! You were right! The red head is cute!" Nick said, looking at a petite girl, with long red hair with blond streaks.

"That’s not the one I was talking about, but yeah, she’s cute," AJ said. He still didn’t see the one he was talking about.

"Good, then I want to sit by her," Nick said. They stood up as the girls made their way to the table.

"Hello, I’m Lindsey, this is Nisey, Nikki and Jessica," Lindsey said, introducing each of the girls.

"I’m AJ, this is Nick, Brian, Howie and Kevin. Aren’t there five of you?"

"Yeah, we weren’t able to get a hold of Tracey. We left her a note, so when she gets home, she can call one of us," Jessica said.

"Well, it’s nice to meet you, ladies. Why don’t we have a seat," Kevin said. He was closest to Nisey, so he pulled her chair out. She smiled at him and took her seat. Brian sat down next to Lindsey. Howie sat beside Lindsey and Nikki. AJ sat between Jessica and Brian, while Nick sat on the other side of Jessica.

AJ was a little disappointed that the other one, Tracey, wasn’t here. He had really wanted to meet her.

The group spent the next hour and a half getting to know each other.

Tuesday morning....

Tracey showed up at the studio earlier than usual. She wished she hadn’t. Waiting for her was Pete. "Hello, Tracey," he said.

"What do you want?"

"You know what I want," he said. Just then, Jessica pulled up.

"Hey Trace! Pete," she said, distrustfully.

"Hello, Jessica," Pete said.

"What are you doing here?"

"Ask Tracey."

"He wants me to help him find out things about the Backstreet Boys," Tracey said.

"No! Absolutely not!" Jessica said.

"Not so fast, Jess," Pete said.

"He knows about my past," Tracey said, unhappily. "He’s threatened to let it, uh slip.

"You can’t do that," Jessica argued.

"Yes I can, and I will," Pete said. Both girls looked at each other, discouraged. "Now, this is what I want you to do," he said, and outlined his plan.

"Tracey, we can’t do this!"

"I know! I don’t know what to do! We can’t let everyone know about my past, it might ruin us! I don’t want to help Pete, though," Tracey said.

"It might not be so bad. Maybe..." Jessica trailed off.

"Who are we kidding? You know parents wouldn’t want me for an influence for their children. I’ll figure something out," Tracey said, distracted.

"Hey, where were you yesterday?" Jessica asked, changing the subject.

"I was at home, why?"

"Well, we tried calling, but we didn’t get any answer," Jessica said.

"Oh, I probably thought it was Pete trying to call, so I didn’t answer it."

"You need caller id. We got together with some guys yesterday."

"Oh."

"No, you don’t understand. The guys were the Backstreet Boys," Jessica said.

"You guys met with the Backstreet Boys? How did that happen?"

"Well, I guess AJ called Lindsey. He said the guys wanted to get to know us before we all went on tour," Jessica said.

"Really? What were they like?"

"Totally nice! Nick was so cute! We’re going out this weekend. Friday cannot come soon enough for me! Nisey and Kevin seemed to hit it off, too. I think they are going out this weekend," Jessica said.

"What did the other girls think?"

"Why don’t you ask them, they just walked in," Jessica said, pointing.

"Hey, girls! I heard you had an interesting day, yesterday," Tracey said.

"Did we ever!" Nikki said. "They were so nice! They all wondered where you were. By the way, where were you?"

Tracey and Jessica exchanged looks.

"At home," Tracey said.

"Ok, what was that look for?" Nisey asked.

"Uh, nothing. I was at home, I just didn’t answer the phone."

"Oh," Lindsey said.

"So, are we ready to work?" Jessica asked. The group of girls spent the rest of day running through their routines and songs.

"Trace! Wait up!" Jessica said. Tracey turned around and waited for Jessica to catch up to her.

"Hey, what’s up?" Tracey said.

"I thought we should talk about what happened this morning."

"Yeah, I know. I wish I never would have told him! Why did I tell him?" Tracey asked.

"Trace, he was charming at first. He made you feel like you could trust him. Don’t beat yourself up," Jessica said.

"I can’t help it! We’ve all worked so hard for this, and because of me, we could lose all of it!"

"We’ll think of something. Don’t you think we should tell the others about what’s going on?"

"Yeah, but I don’t know how to tell them. What will they think of me, when they find out?"

"They’re your friends, they should stand behind you. Everyone makes mistakes, they’ll understand," Jessica said.

"I can’t tell them right now. I will tell them, but not right now." Tracey and Jessica made their way to their cars.

"I’ll see you tomorrow," Jessica said, hugging Tracey. "We’ll get through this."

"Thanks, Jess. See ya tomorrow," Tracey said.

Later that week.........

*ring, ring* "Hello?" Tracey said.

"Hey Trace. I need help!" a voice said.

"What’s up, Jessica?"

"I so nervous about tonight!"

"Aahhh, your date with Nick! Hmmmm."

"Yeah, I don’t know what to wear!"

"Well, I suppose your entire closet is now on the floor," Tracey said, dryly. Jessica didn’t say anything. "Well, how about that black skirt with the slit and uhhh, green top? That would look good on you! Green looks great on you!"

"Umm, ok," Tracey heard some rustling around. "Ok, thanks! I hope everything goes good tonight!"

"I’m sure it will! So, what are you guys gonna do tonight?"

"I don’t know. Maybe a movie or something," Jessica said. "He’s picking me up in 45 minutes."

"Have fun! Call me tomorrow and let me know how it goes!"

"Ok. By the way, I gave the guys your phone number, because hey didn’t get to meet you earlier, so don’t be surprised if you get a call!"

"What guys? The Backstreet Boys?"

"Yeah," Jessica said.

"Oh."

"Ok, I gotta finish getting dressed Wish me luck!"

"Luck!! Bye!" Tracey said.

"Bye!"

Tracey flipped on the television. She was in the middle of flipping through the channels, when the telephone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hi. Is Tracey there?"

"You got her," Tracey said, still flipping through channels..

"Hi Tracey, this is AJ McLean. One of the girls in your group gave me your number. I thought it would be good if we got to know each other before the tour, so I was just calling to see if you wanted to get together and do something some time."

"Sure. What did you have in mind?"

"I don’t know. I’d just like to get to know you before we go on tour," AJ said.

"Cool. Why don’t we have lunch or something tomorrow?" Tracey suggested.

"Yeah, that sounds cool. Did you have any place in mind?"

"Nah, how about you?"

"How about that new place, Mackenzie’s. I heard they have good food," AJ said.

"Ok, how about noon at Mackenzie’s?"

"Okay, I’ll see you then," AJ said.

"K. Bye," Tracey said.

"Bye."

Tracey sat the phone down. No sooner had she sat it down, when it rang again.

"Party Central," Tracey said.

"Tracey?"

"Yeah, sorry. My phone has been ringing off the hook. What’s up, Nisey?"

"Not much. I was just calling to see what you were up to," Nisey said. "So, who called, besides me?"

"Oh, Jessica called first, she was panicking about her date with Nick. She’s all set now. Then, uh, AJ McLean called. We’re having lunch tomorrow, to get to know each other," Tracey said.

"Really? Just you and AJ, or are the other guys gonna be there?"

"I don’t know, I didn’t ask," Tracey asked.

"Oh. I was going to see if you wanted to do something tomorrow, but since you have a lunch date, no need," Nisey said.

"It’s not a date."

"Sounds like one to me," Nisey said. left off here

The next morning, Tracey got up at 9:00 and went for a jog. When she got back in, the answering machine was just picking up a call. She walked over to the phone, just about to pick it up, when she heard Pete’s voice.

"Hi, Tracey. I hope you haven’t forgotten about our little deal. I’ll be calling you soon." Aaaaarrgggghhhhhhhh! She really should think about changing her phone number! She knew it was pointless, Pete would find a way to get her to do what he wanted.

Tracey sank down onto the couch. What was she going to do? She couldn’t help Pete. He didn’t deserve her help. She felt trapped.

She got into the shower and tried to wash thoughts of Pete away. When she got out, she got dressed and dried her hair. She knew she should tell the girls about what had happened, but she didn’t want them to be involved in this.

She got dressed and grabbed the keys to her jeep. She put in her Jordan Knight cd and headed for Mackenzie’s. When she pulled up outside of the restaurant, she felt a pang of nervousness. She really liked the Backstreet Boys’ music, and she had always thought that AJ was very attractive.

Just be yourself, she told herself. She wondered if the other guys would be here. When she walked into the restaurant, she looked around for AJ. She spied him sitting in the corner, by himself. She made her way over to the table.

"AJ?" He stood up.

"Tracey?"

"Yep. Nice to meet ya," Tracey said. ‘Why does he have to look so damn fine?’ she thought to herself.

"Nice to meet you, too," AJ said, pulling out her chair. Tracey could feel the butterflies in her stomach. She didn’t know what to say.

"So, uh, are you guys ready for the tour?" she asked.

"Yeah, I think so. We’ve been working day and night to get ready," he said. "Are you girls ready?"

"I hope so. We’re all really excited and nervous."

"You guys will do fine," AJ assured her. "You’re very confident on stage."

"Thanks, I wish I was all of the time---Hey, you’ve seen us perform?"

"Yeah, I checked out one of the local shows you had. It was very good."

Just then, they were interrupted by the waiter. He took their orders and left.

"So, what is tour life like?"

"Busy. I love touring, but it wears me out. From city to city, show to show, it gets really tiring."

"Yeah, but I bet you like all of those girls screaming your name," Tracey teased.

"It’s a rush, but I try not to let it go to my head. I tell myself they only chase me, because I’m famous. If I didn’t do what I do, they wouldn’t chase me," he said.

‘I would,’ Tracey thought to herself. ‘Stop it,’ she told herself, ‘you cannot get involved with him. You’ll only hurt yourself and him, too!’ Tracey had never resented anyone as much as she resented Pete right now. If it wasn’t for him, she could relax and enjoy lunch with AJ, but because of him, she couldn’t let herself get too close.

By the time lunch ended, Tracey knew she was on dangerous ground. She genuinely liked AJ. He was a nice guy. She had to figure out how to avoid helping Pete, without letting her secret be known to the world.

Later the next week....

Lindsey and Tracey were sitting in the studio, waiting for the rest of the girls. They were anxious to get going. They only had 2 weeks before the tour.

"Linds, what did you think of the Backstreet Boys, when you met them?"

"They were really nice. Why?"

"Well, I’ve only met AJ, I was just wondering."

"Oh, they were really friendly. By the way, just so you know, hands off Brian," teased Lindsey, "he’s mine."

"Ok, I’ll try to hold myself back. He’s cute, but I’m interested in someone else," Tracey said.

"Really? Do tell," Lindsey said.

"Well, I haven’t known him very long. He’s really nice, though. I find it so easy to talk to him. He’s different than any other guy I’ve liked. I just don’t want to get too close. I have a feeling we will both get hurt."

"Do I know him?" Lindsey asked. Tracey looked at Lindsey, and Lindsey knew the answer. "I do know him, don’t I?"

"More than likely."

"Who is it?"

"Uh, well, it’s uh----," Tracey stalled.

"Oh, gawd. You went to lunch with AJ on Saturday, it’s AJ, isn’t it! You haven’t known him that long. Go for it!"

"You’re too smart for your own good. I don’t know. I just keep seeing us both getting hurt. I think it would be awkward, if we are on tour with them and then we break up, or something. Besides, I doubt he feels the same way about me. He could have any girl he chooses."

"You think too much. Look at Jessica and Nick. They’re already practically a couple."

"I don’t know. I’ll think about it," Tracey said. She was saved from having to say anything else, when Nisey showed up. Soon, the other girls showed up. They went through their routines, then had final fittings for the outfits they were to wear in the show.

Opening night........

The girls of Mystique were nervous. This was their first time in front of a crowd this big. They were waiting to go on, huddled in a circle to the side of the stage.

"Hey girls! Have fun tonight," a voice said. They all turned towards the voice. Standing there was Howie, with him was Nick. They each held a rose. Howie gave his rose to Nikki and Nick gave his to Jessica. Nisey, Lindsey and Tracey just looked at each other, surprised. They had known about Jessica and Nick, but they hadn’t known about Nikki and Howie.

"Good luck, Nik," Howie said, placing a soft kiss on Nikki’s lips. She smiled at him.

"Get ready girls, you’re on!" the stage manager said. They all grabbed hands and gave a quick squeeze of encouragement and turned toward the stage.

Tracey looked out at the sea of faces before her and her nervousness increased. Once the music started and she lost herself in the dancing and words, the nervousness disappeared. By the end of their set, the crowd was pumped, as were the girls.

"Thank you! We are Mystique! Enjoy the rest of the concert!" Nisey said. The girls exited the stage.

"That was awesome!" Jessica said, excitedly.

"You girls rocked!" AJ said, looking at Tracey.

"Thanks!" Lindsey said. She looked at Tracey, who was smiling shyly at AJ.

"Go get ‘em, baby," Jessica said to Nick. She gave him a quick kiss and watched him make his way on stage. The crowd erupted in a profusion of screams, as the guys they were here to see appeared on the stage before them. They stood and watched the show for a little while, before Tracey finally decided it was time for her to take a shower. She left the rest of the girls watching the show and made her way to the dressing room she shared with the girls. She picked out some fresh clothes and headed for the shower. Once she was showered and dressed, she went and laid down on the couch to wait for the rest of the girls. She hadn’t realized she was so tired, but she quickly fell into a light sleep.

"Shh, I think she’s sleeping," Nisey said.

"Not anymore, she’s not," Tracey said, her eyes still closed. "Is the show over, already?"

"Already? It’s been over an hour since you came back here," Lindsey said.

"Really? Wow! I must’ve been really tired! So, what’s on the agenda?"

"Well, we’ve been invited to a late supper with the guys. Are you going to come?"

"Yeah, I’m starved! I really worked up an appetite," Tracey said. Besides, she really wanted to see AJ. She knew she should stay away from him, but she couldn’t help it. She felt drawn to him.

Supper....

The group of ten sat down at a large round table. It worked out, so that Tracey sat beside AJ, Jessica sat by Nick, Nikki by Howie, Nisey by Kevin and Lindsey by Brian.

"So, who’s up for some dancing?" Nick asked, looking at the group.

"I am," Jessica said.

"Count me in," Nisey said.

"Me, too," Kevin said. Lindsey and Brian also decided to go dancing.

"I think I’m just gonna go back to the hotel," Tracey said.

"Yeah, me, too," AJ said. His friends looked at him, surprised. He was usually the first one to go out dancing. Nikki and Howie decided to go back to the hotel with them. They paid the bill and left the restaurant. The hotel wasn’t that far away, so the foursome decided to walk. Lindsey, Brian, Kevin, Nisey, Nick and Jessica squeezed into a cab and waved as they drove off.

As they walked back to the hotel, Nikki and Howie fell behind. When Tracey turned to glance at them, she saw that they were holding hands. She felt a small pang of jealousy. She wished for someone to hold hands with. AJ’s name immediately popped into her head, but she knew that, that wasn’t possible. She turned to AJ and saw that he was watching her closely. She smiled shyly and felt herself blushing. She hoped he couldn’t read the thoughts running through her head right now.

When Howie and Nikki caught up to them, they made their way back to the hotel. Tracey could tell that Nikki and Howie wanted to be alone. Since Howie and AJ shared a room and Nikki, Tracey and Jessica shared a room, she invited AJ over to watch tv with her. Nikki smiled at Tracey.

Tracey and AJ made their way to her room. Tracey was nervous. She didn’t know why. She wasn’t going out with AJ, he probably thought of her as a sister. The problem with being alone with him in a hotel room, was that she was afraid she might jump him, she thought, only half-kidding.

When they got to her room, she unlocked the door and let AJ in. "I’m going to change, make yourself, comfy," she said. She grabbed some clothes and went into the bathroom. She put on an oversized t- shirt and some boxers. She opened the door and walked over to the bed AJ had made himself comfy on. She grabbed a pillow and laid down on her stomach at the end of it. Soon, AJ was laying next to her, watching the movie they’d rented. Tracey was conscious of every move AJ made. She wanted so badly to lean over and kiss him.

After the movie, she sat up. She was feeling warm. She knew she was close to doing something stupid and needed to get out of there. "Do you want something to drink?" she asked.

"Nah," he said.

"I’m gonna go get a juice. I’ll be right back," Tracey said, grabbing some change. She walked out into the hall and took a deep breath. She felt her heart racing. She hadn’t even touched him but she felt like she’d run a marathon. She got an orange juice and went back to her room. AJ had selected another movie. He was leaning back against the headboard of the bed. Tracey knew she should just lay down on the other bed, but she wanted to be close to him. She laid down on the end of the bed, as she had before. She felt a light tickling on her feet and squirmed.

"Ah, so you’re ticklish," AJ said.

"No, I’m not," Tracey said.

"Hmmm," he said, as he ran his hand lightly over her foot. Tracey couldn’t help, but squirm, he had found her weakness. She rolled over, trying to get away from him. The next thing she knew, she was under AJ, looking into his eyes. She saw him drawing closer and knew she should stop him, but she couldn’t. The first touch of his lips to hers, sent a shock wave coursing through her body. She put her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. She felt his hands gliding over her body and moaned. When he kissed his way down to her neck, she lost all resolve to push him away. The roughness of his skin meeting the softness of her neck, drove her wild. She lost all contact with reality. She felt his hand slide under her shirt and arched her back. He kissed his way back up to her mouth and licked her lips. She opened her mouth and allowed his tongue access to her mouth. From somewhere in the fog that AJ had created, Tracey heard her cell phone ringing. She pulled away from him.

"Leave it," he sighed.

"I can’t," she said, shakily. She went over to where she had laid her cell phone and picked it up. "Hello?"

"Hello, Tracey. How was the first night of your tour?" a voice asked.

"What do you want?" Tracey asked, feeling like an icy bucket of water had been dumped on her.

"You know what I’m calling for," Pete said, as Tracey was rapidly brought back to reality.

"Well, I’m busy right now," she said.

"So which one are you fucking?"

"I’m not! I’m hanging up now!" Tracey said.

"Just remember what I can do to you," she heard Pete say, as she hung up the phone. She sat down on the small love seat that was in the corner of the room. AJ had been trying not to listen, but it had been hard, and he had heard most of Tracey’s side of the conversation.

"Hey, do you wanna talk about it?" he asked, as he walked over to where she was sitting.

"I can’t," she said, dejectedly.

"I’m here for you, Tracey," he said, as he gathered her in his arms. He tried to pull her closer, but she pulled away. She didn’t want to hurt him.

"We can’t do this. It’s not right," Tracey said.

"Why? Because we haven’t been on a date?"

"It’s not that. We’ll only end up getting hurt. I just–I don’t know, anymore," she said. "You can crash out on the other bed, if you want to."

AJ knew it would be pointless to tell her what was on his mind right now. She wasn’t listening. He decided he would talk to her tomorrow. "Good-night," he said, quietly.

She turned to him and looked at him, sadly. "‘Night." She crawled on the bed. When she was settled, she turned off the light beside the bed and laid down. She had her back to AJ. She could feel her heart aching. She wanted so much to be with him, but she couldn’t. Not without jeopardizing what she and the others had worked so hard for. She felt tears sliding silently down her cheeks. Maybe when all of this was over, she could tell him how she felt, and then they could be together.

Jessica and Nick....

"I had so much fun tonight!" Jessica said. Nick pulled her close and gently kissed her. When they pulled apart, they were both breathless. He picked up her hand and started walking towards the hotel. They had decided to leave the club early and head back to the hotel. When they got to the room she shared with Nikki and Tracey, she unlocked the door. She was a little surprised to see AJ laying on one of the beds. She pulled the door closed and Nick looked at her funny. "AJ’s in there," she said.

"Oh, so he finally hooked up with Tracey, huh?"

"No, I don’t think so. He’s laying on the other bed."

"Really? Well, what do you want to do? You wanna wake him up and I’ll take him back to the room, or..." he said, trailing off.

"Or? What?"

"I don’t know. You could stay with me," he said.

"I don’t know, Nick," she said.

"We don’t have to do anything, just hold each other," Nick said.

"Ok," she said. She followed him to the room he shared with Brian. Once in the room, they were both hit with a wave of shyness. Nick was the first to try and break the silence. He gently kissed Jessica on the lips. They laid down on the bed and Nick wrapped his arms around Jessica. They continued kissing, until Jessica was afraid that if it went any farther, they wouldn’t stop. "We have to stop. I don’t want to, but if we don’t, we’re going to be in an awful lot of trouble." She pulled him close and laid her head on his chest. She could hear his heart racing, matching the pace of her own.

"What do you think happened with AJ and Tracey?" Jessica asked.

"I don’t know. I know that AJ likes her. He was really disappointed on the day we met you girls, that she wasn’t there. She was the reason he wanted to called you guys," Nick said.

"Well, I know that Tracey likes AJ, she’s just afraid that they’ll both be hurt if they started seeing each other," she explained.

"Hmmm," was all Nick said.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing...just thinking," Nick said. "Good night, Jess."

"Night, Nicky," Jessica said, yawning and giving him a quick peck on the lips.

Tracey opened her eyes and let them adjust to the morning light. She looked over at the other bed and found that AJ was still sleeping. She got up and grabbed some clothes and went into the bathroom. She looked into the mirror. She looked horrible and her eyes hurt. She turned on the water and stepped into the shower. The hot water felt good. She hadn’t slept very good last night. When she thought about what had happened last night, she felt the tears threatening, all over again. She never hated any one person, as much as she hated Pete, right now. When she stepped out of the bathroom, she had composed herself. AJ was sitting up on the bed.

"Morning," he said.

"Morning," Tracey said, quietly.

"About last night--" he started.

"Can we not talk about it, please?"

"Tracey, we need to talk about it," AJ said.

"I can’t, AJ."

"Look, we can’t pretend nothing happened. What happened last night--" he said.

"Can’t happen again," Tracey said, feeling her heart crack. She

was saved from talking about the subject any further, when Jessica opened the door and walked in.

"Good morning," she said, brightly.

"Morning, Jess," Tracey said.

"Morning," AJ said. He stood up and got off the bed. "I’ll talk to you later, Tracey." He didn’t give her a chance to respond, before he was out the door.

Jessica watched him leave, then turned to face Tracey. "So, what happened?"

"Nothing. Nikki and Howie wanted to be alone last night, so I told AJ he could come here and watch a movie."

"And?"

"And, nothing. Nothing else happened," Tracey said.

"Uh-huh. What about the stubble burn on your neck," Jessica said, glancing at Tracey’s neck. Tracey brought her hand up to her neck.

"So, he kissed me. Nothing else happened," Tracey said, sadly. "Pete called and stopped us, before I could do anything stupid."

"Ooohhh, I hate him," Jessica said. She looked at Tracey sitting on the bed. She could tell her friend was upset.

"Oh, Jess, I like AJ, so much. Now, he probably thinks I hate him," she said, angrily swiping at the tears that were now falling. "Gawd, I’ve been such a baby lately. All I do is cry."

"Trace, do you think we should talk to the others? I mean, they need to know," Jessica said.

"I know. I wanna tell them, but I don’t want them involved in this. I wanna wait until the end of the tour. I just hope I can stall Pete that long," she said.

"Did you come up with a plan?"

"Sort of. I figure, if I can stall him until the end of the tour, I can either reveal the secret myself or he can. Either way, the group will have gained enough exposure. The group will still be popular if I end up having to quit," Tracey said. "That way, I won’t hurt AJ and the other guys."

"You can’t do that! You’re a part of this group. We can’t just replace you!" Jessica said.

"I want you guys to have success," Tracey said.

"I don’t want success without you!"

They were interrupted when the door opened and Nikki walked in. Tracey gave Jessica a quick look and shook her head. "Morning," Nikki said, in a dreamy voice.

"Morning, Nik," Jessica said. "What did you do last night?"

"I stayed with Howie," she said. "And before you two pornstars jump to conclusions, nothing happened."

"How boring," Tracey said, yawning. Nikki picked up a pillow and threw it at her. Tracey laughed, "I’m just kidding!"

"Good! So, where did AJ end up going? He never came back to the room."

"He stayed here," Tracey said.

"Really?" Nikki said. "And?"

"And nothing. He slept on the other bed," Tracey said.

"Does somebody have a crush?" Nikki asked.

"No, somebody does not," Tracey answered.

"If you say so," Nikki said, going into the bathroom. "I’m going to take a shower." They heard the bathroom door close and the water come on.

Later that morning....

Tracey climbed aboard the tour bus. Nikki and Jessica had decided to ride with AJ, Howie, and Nick. So it wouldn’t be too crowded, Kevin and Brian decided to ride with Nisey, Lindsey, and Tracey. Tracey made her way back to the bunk she would call hers for the next 3 ½ months and fell into a restless sleep.

Up at the front of the bus, Brian, Lindsey, Kevin and Nisey sat talking. "So, does anyone know what happened with Tracey and AJ last night. I see AJ watching her, but they aren’t talking," Kevin said.

"I talked to Jessica, and she said that AJ spent the night in Tracey’s room last night. She said Tracey said that nothing happened, but I’m not so sure. Tracey looks like she didn’t sleep. She seems distracted," Nisey said.

"Do you know how they feel about each other?" Kevin asked.

"Well, Tracey admitted to me that she was very attracted to AJ, but that she was scared if they got together they would only end up getting hurt," Lindsey said. "I don’t know how AJ feels."

"Well, he’s attracted to her. He saw a show you guys had before coming on tour with us. He told me he was drawn to her," Brian said.

"Why don’t we try and get them together then?" Lindsey asked, smiling at Brian.

"How would we do that?" Kevin asked.

"Well, we could stop for snacks or something and change buses. AJ can ride over here with Tracey, and we can ride on the other bus. That way, they can’t avoid talking," Nisey said.

"Hey, good idea," Brian said. They made plans for the switch, then asked the driver when they would be stopping next. He told them within a few minutes. Nisey went back to make sure that Tracey was sleeping. When they stopped, the foursome quietly snuck off the bus. The talked to Jessica, Nick, Nikki and Howie. They agreed to help out with the plan. Howie went to talk to AJ.

"Bone, I know you want to talk to Tracey," Howie started.

"Yeah, but she won’t listen," he said.

"I think we might have found a way that she can’t run from you," Howie said, outlining the plan. AJ smiled and quietly got on the girls’ bus. He was anxious about Tracey waking up before the bus started moving again. Once the bus started, he relaxed and waited for Tracey to wake up. He didn’t have to wait long. She came out to the front of the bus after about half an hour.

"Where are Lindsey and Nisey?"

"They’re with Brian and Kevin," AJ said.

"Well, where are Brian and Kevin?"

"On the other bus," AJ said. "They’re all on the other bus. It’s just you and me."

"Oh," Tracey said, looking nervously at AJ. How could my friends do this to me? she thought.

"You can’t avoid me forever," he said.

"I’m not avoiding you," Tracey said. She looked up to see AJ peering at her.

"You shouldn’t lie to yourself."

"Look, AJ, nothing can happen between us. I’m uh, not attracted to you," Tracey lied.

"Really? Are you gonna tell me that what happened between us last night, was nothing? That you didn’t feel what I felt?" AJ asked, standing up and coming towards her. She backed away, until there was nowhere to go.

"Y-y-yes," she stammered.

"I don’t believe you," he said.

"Well, it’s true," she said.

"Look me in the eye and tell me that," AJ said, standing before her. Tracey took deep breath and looked at AJ. As hard as she tried, she couldn’t get the words out. She couldn’t lie to him. He moved closer, his head leaning towards hers. Soon, his lips were on hers. Tracey gave up all thoughts of objecting and gave in to her attraction to AJ. She put her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. "Now, was that so bad?"

"AJ, I-we-oooh, I don’t know what to say. I don’t want either of us to be hurt," Tracey said.

"Tracey, caring for someone, sometimes means some pain. But if you don’t take a chance, how will you ever know love?" AJ asked.

"I know you’re right, I’m just scared."

"Don’t be. I’ll be here, beside you." He pulled her close and gently touched his lips to hers. It was the softest of kisses, but Tracey felt her heart start to race. If just a kiss could do this to her, what would happen if they took things further? He deepened the kiss, gently forcing her lips to open for him. His tongue dueled with hers, causing her knees to go weak. AJ caught her and carried her to the small couch. He set her down and continued his exploration of her mouth. Soon, his mouth drifted to her neck, one of the spots that absolutely drove her wild. She felt his hands slide under her shirt and his hand grasping her breast. She arched her back, so that she fit more firmly into his hand. Her hands drifted up under his shirt, and she ran her nails lightly down his back, eliciting a moan from AJ. She reached around front to undo the buttons of his shirt. Somewhere in the back of her mind, a more sane voice shouted at her, "Too soon! Don’t do this!" She ignored the voice and continued unbuttoning AJ’s shirt. Once she had his shirt off, she pushed him back onto the couch and took control.

She kissed her way down his stomach, getting more and more turned on, with each of AJ’s moans. She ran her tongue lightly around his tattoo, tracing the 69 design. His hands were in her hair, trying to pull her back up to his mouth. She kissed her way back up to his mouth. She thrust her tongue into his mouth, taking him by surprise. She pulled back and looked into his eyes. They were glazed over with the desire she knew mirrored her own. She slowly unbuttoned her shirt and let it fall to the floor. He flipped her over onto her back and took control, once more. When he leaned down and let his tongue trace her lips, the feeling of his chest pressed up against her own, made her squirm.

He reach around behind her and began fumbling with the closure of her bra. The next thing Tracey knew, AJ was no longer on top of her. She sat up. The bus had braked abruptly. She looked at AJ and grabbed her shirt off the floor. She quickly put it on, then ran to the front of the bus.

"What happened?" Tracey asked the bus driver.

"Some jerk swerved in front of me and to avoid hitting him, I had to slam on my brakes. Are you guys okay?" he asked.

"I’m okay."

"Yeah, I’m fine," AJ said. AJ glanced at Tracey. She wouldn’t meet his eyes. When she headed to the back of the bus, he followed her, determined not to let her shut him out again. "Tracey?"

Tracey’s mind was a mix of emotions. She cared about AJ. Every time she was near him, she felt like she was stepping closer to the edge. Of what, she wasn’t sure. Her mind raced, trying to figure out how she could be with AJ and not let Pete mess things up. She turned around and faced him. He was surprised when she wrapped her arms around him. "AJ, it’s not that I didn’t enjoy what just happened, but we need to slow down," Tracey said, deciding to stop running.

AJ didn’t know what to say. He certainly wasn’t expecting her to say what she said. "Really?" he asked, giving her a sexy smile.

"Wellllllll, at least slow down a little," Tracey said, drawing him closer for a kiss.

The other bus....

"How do you think things are going?" Howie asked.

"I don’t know. The bus is still on the road, and we haven’t come across AJ’s body yet," Jessica joked.

"I guess we’ll find out when we get to the next stop," Lindsey said.

"Anyone wanna play a video game?" Nick asked.

"I will," Jessica said. The two of them went to play and the rest of the group decided to watch a movie. Nikki watched the group closely. It looked like Nisey and Kevin were getting close. It looked like Lindsey and Brian were also getting close. Brian was sitting on one of the bus’ couches, and Lindsey was sitting next to him, quite close. She told herself, she would talk to them, when they were alone. It appeared that all of her friends were happy, with the exception of Tracey. She didn’t know if Tracey had figured things out yet, or not. She hoped so. She snuggled closer to Howie and settled back to watch the movie.

The days of the tour flew by. Soon there were only two weeks left of the tour. The two groups had become closer than ever. Tracey and AJ spent most of their free time together. Now that Tracey had stopped running from him, things were going smoothly. AJ told Tracey things he hadn’t ever told anyone else. He trusted her with all of his secrets. Tracey told him about bits and pieces of her past, choosing to hold off on the biggest secret of all. She would eventually tell him, but she had to figure out how.

"Tracey? Hello?"

"Huh? Oh, hey AJ," Tracey said, standing up to give AJ a kiss. What started as an innocent kiss, ended up in a passionate, breathtaking kiss. They were both breathing faster when they pulled apart. Up to this point, Tracey and AJ had done everything, short of making love. They both wanted to, but Tracey usually stopped them, before going that far. This time, she took AJ’s hand and led him to her bedroom in the suite she was sharing with Jessica and Nikki.

She closed the door. When she turned to AJ, he read the desire in her eyes. She strode over to him and pushed him onto the bed. She leaned over him and lightly nipped at his lips. When he reached up to touch her, she grabbed his hands and stretched them above his head. She continued her nipping kisses, along his neck and ears. She unbuttoned his shirt and slid it from his shoulders. When she kissed her way down to his nipple and took it into her mouth, he moaned. She swirled her tongue around it and sucked it into her mouth. "Oh, god. Don’t stop," he moaned. She knew he was letting her take the lead, because he could overpower her at anytime he wanted. She continued licking her way down his tight stomach. When she reached the top of his pants, she ran her hand over the noticeable bulge there, eliciting a moan of pleasure from AJ. She unbuttoned the snap on his pants and tugged them over his hips and down his legs. All he was wearing was a pair of boxers. Tracey stood up and slowly started to lift the hem of her shirt. AJ sat up, "Oh, no. I wanna do that." He stood up and took her lips in a hot kiss. Soon, with the help of AJ, all of her clothes, but her bra and undies had been shed. "It’s my turn," he said, hoarsely. He gently pushed her onto the bed. Once he had stripped her of her bra, he licked his way down to her breasts. When he took a nipple in his mouth, she arched her back and groaned. She ran her fingers through his hair, guiding his mouth to her other nipple. He continued farther down, kissing and licking, until he reached her panties. When he reached them, he peeled them off and tossed them aside. When his mouth touched her most sensitive part, Tracey just about lost all contact with reality. His mouth felt so wonderful. She laid on the bed, writhing in pleasure. Her climax washed over her in wave after wave of intense pleasure. "Oh god! AJ! Oh Alex," Tracey moaned. He kissed his way back up her body. When he reached her lips, he kissed her passionately. When Tracey tried to give him the same pleasure he had given her, he stopped her.

"Not right now. I don’t think I could last," AJ said. He shed his boxers and Tracey felt his manhood hot and hard against her thigh. As he slowly slipped into her, Tracey wrapped her legs around his back, savoring the feeling of him inside of her. She arched her back and tried to pull him farther into her. When he started thrusting, she met him, thrust for thrust. She felt him picking up speed and knew he was close to coming. Another climax washed over her, and at the same time, she felt AJ shudder. He moaned and collapsed on top of her, kissing her lips, her forehead, her neck.

"AJ, I’ve never felt like that before. You, we,--" Tracey stopped.

"I know," was all he said. He wrapped her in his arms. She laid her head on his chest and could hear his, still pounding heart. She smiled contentedly and fell asleep.

Tracey woke up an hour later, still smiling. She quietly disentangled herself from AJ and put on her clothes and slipped out into the living room of the suite. Jessica was sitting out there. "Hey. Were you taking a nap?"

"Shhh, AJ’s sleeping," Tracey said.

"Tracey, you didn’t! Oh, you did! You really care about him, don’t you," Jessica said.

"Yeah, I do. I think I love him."

"I’m so happy for you! But--," Jessica paused.

"But, what?"

"What about Pete?" Jessica asked.

"I’m not gonna let him ruin this. I’m going to tell the other girls what happened so long ago, then if Pete forces me to, I’ll go public with my past. I only hope he doesn’t force my hand before the end of the tour. I want to wait until then, if I have to go public with what happened, that way no bad publicity touches the Backstreet Boys. I’m still trying to figure out a way to tell AJ," Tracey said. "Nothing could make me hurt, AJ! Especially that slimeball Pete."

"Good for you! I’m sure everything will work out!" Jessica said.

"I hope so! So, how are things between you and Nick?"

"Oh, they’re wonderful! He’s the greatest guy! It’s hard, but at least we get to spend time together. I don’t know what’s going to happen at the end of the tour."

"It’ll all work out," Tracey assured her friend. "So, when is our next day off?"

"I think next Thursday. Why?"

"Well, I think that is when I’ll tell the others. We’ll have the whole day to get things straight. It’s only a week before the end of the tour. How do you think they’ll take it?"

"I think they might be upset, that you haven’t told them sooner, but I think they’ll understand. They’re your friends. Besides, it happened so long ago, it shouldn’t matter," Jessica said.

"Thanks, Jess, you’re the greatest," Tracey said, hugging her friend.

Friday, a week later....

Tracey woke up early that morning. There were only 5 more days left on the tour. She glanced at AJ’s sleeping form. He was so beautiful. She could feel her heart swelling. She knew she loved him, he was so wonderful. Now all she had to do was find the right place and the right time to tell him about her past.

Her past. She thought about her talk with the girls yesterday. Jessica had been right. They were upset about not being told sooner, but they understood why she had kept it a secret. They also understood that everyone makes mistakes. They agreed to stand behind her, no matter what. When Tracey tried to tell them that if it started hurting the group, she would bow out, they all objected. They told Tracey that she was part of the group and they would get through this. It had made Tracey feel so much better, knowing that they were all behind her.

"Good morning," AJ murmured.

"Mmmm, morning," Tracey said, leaning down to kiss him. When he deepened the kiss Tracey groaned and pulled back. "AJ, we’d better stop, or we’re going to be here for a while."

"So?"

"So, we have a busy day ahead of us. We need to get ready," Tracey said.

"Do you really want to?" AJ asked, smiling at her with a sexy grin.

"You know I don’t," Tracey said.

"Well, then stop arguing," AJ said, pushing her back onto the bed. Needless to say, they were late to rehearsals, not that either of them minded.

Tuesday morning...

Tracey was sitting in her hotel room. Tonight was the last night of the tour. She was sad to see it come to an end, but with the end of the tour, it meant she could get Pete off her back.

*ring, ring* "Hello?" Tracey said.

"Hello, Tracey." Tracey groaned. She had been dreading hearing from Pete, again.

"What do you want?"

"Come on, Tracey. You aren’t trying to tell me you forgot about our little deal," Pete said.

"It wasn’t "our little deal," Pete. You’re blackmailing me."

"Such a harsh word. I prefer to think of it as a friend doing another friend a favor."

"We’re not friends, Pete," Tracey said.

"So, what have you found out for me?"

"You’ll get what information you deserve, about the Backstreet Boys, on Thursday," Tracey said.

"So, did you get to have any fun getting the information?"

"What do you mean, fun?"

"I mean, how many of them did you sleep with?"

"How many did I sleep with? That’s none of your business!" Tracey screamed.

"About the information..."

"I told you, I’ll give it to you on Thursday," Tracey said, hanging up the phone. If only Pete knew what she was going to give him on Thursday.

"You bitch!" a voice spat. Tracey turned around to see AJ standing in the doorway of her hotel room.

"AJ, you don’t understand," Tracey started.

"Oh, I understand everything! You fucked me, to get what you needed. Was it worth it? Did you get what you needed? I bet you and your little friend were laughing at me the whole time, weren’t you? Thinking about how easy it was to fool me," AJ said, coldly.

"It’s not what you think," Tracey said, she could feel tears welling up in her eyes.

"Save your tears. They won’t work on me," AJ said, walking out of the hotel room, the look he shot her was filled with pure hatred. It stopped Tracey in her tracks. She knew it was useless to go after him. She had planned on talking to him tonight after the concert, when they went out to dinner. It looked like she had waited too long. She had no one but herself to blame. She sank to the floor of the hotel room, crying tears of hurt, pity and frustration. That was where she was when Nikki and Jessica found her.

"Trace, what happened?" Jessica asked.

"AJ–*hic* came in and–*hic* heard me talking–*hic* to Pete. He got the wrong idea. He didn’t –*hic* give me chance to explain. I guess–*hic* I understand. He walked in–* hic* as I was saying I would give Pete–*hic* what he deserved to know about the Backstreet Boys," Tracey said, sadly. Nikki handed her a glass of water. "Thanks."

"Did you try to tell him what your plan was?"

"Yeah, but he wouldn’t listen. The look he shot me as he was leaving the room, said it all. He hates me!" Tracey said, on the verge of tears, again.

"Maybe if you sat him down and told him the whole story—," Nikki said.

"It’s no use. He doesn’t want to hear what I have to say. He doesn’t want to see me again," Tracey said, wiping the tears away. "We have to get ready. We have a show in two hours."

Nikki and Jessica glanced at each other, worried about their friend. "Maybe one of us could talk to him," Jessica said.

"No! I don’t want you guys to get involved. It would mess up what you have with the other guys," Tracey said. "Just let it go. Let’s get to the arena." Tracey stood up and headed out to their bus.

It took a lot of makeup and cold wash clothes to hide the puffiness around her eyes. After sitting in the makeup chair for 45 minutes, Tracey looked almost normal, except for the look of sadness in her eyes.

They made it through the last night of the tour, but just barely. When they were on the bus, Nikki and Jessica explained to Lindsey and Nisey what had happened. When they both said they thought they could talk to their boyfriends, Tracey objected. She swore each of them to secrecy. None of them were to talk about what had happened.

They had reluctantly agreed.

After the show....

"Nisey, what happened between AJ and Tracey?" Kevin asked.

"I think they got into a fight," Nisey said. At least that part was true. She didn’t want to lie to Kevin, but she had promised not to say anything.

"About what?"

"I don’t really know. All I know is Tracey got on the bus, and she looked horrible. She didn’t say much. I wish I knew what to do," Nisey said.

"They’ll work it out," Kevin said, pulling Nisey closer. "I hope. I haven’t ever seen AJ this distant."

"Me too," murmured Nisey. Kevin gently kissed her. Although this was the last night of the tour, it wasn’t going to be the last night Kevin and Nisey spent together. They knew it would be tough. Kevin was a part of a popular band and Nisey was part of an upcoming group. But, they knew they could make things work. Nisey just hoped Tracey could fix things with AJ.

Thursday....

"Tracey, do you have what I want?" Pete asked.

"Oh, I have what you deserve," Tracey said, bitterly. She walked into the building she had told Pete to meet her at. When they got inside of the building, Pete was surprised to see many members of the press sitting inside. Tracey walked up to the stage.

"Attention! Ladies and Gentlemen, I have an announcement to make," Tracey started. She turned and smiled, coldly at Pete. For the next hour, Tracey spilled her story, then answered questions. It was tough, but at least she hadn’t betrayed AJ and the rest of the guys. When she left the podium, she was shaking, but she felt like a giant weight had been lifted off of her. Nisey, Jessica, Nikki and Lindsey were there, to offer support. Now all they could do was wait and hope that this wouldn’t ruin the group. Tracey glanced at Pete. He glared at her and stalked out of the room. She had won, but it was a hollow victory, she had still lost AJ. She knew if she continued to think about him, she would break down again.

The next few weeks.....

Tracey threw herself into her work, trying to forget AJ. Her friends noticed.

"Do you think we should do something about Tracey?" Nisey asked, concerned.

"Yeah, but I don’t know what. She’s been working non-stop, and I don’t think she eats. She looks horrible," Lindsey said.

"Has she tried calling AJ?" Nikki asked.

"No. She said she wouldn’t, either. She said that she’d hurt him, too bad, and that she didn’t expect him to forgive her. I think there’s something else, but she won’t say," Jessica said.

"Doesn’t she understand that it wasn’t her fault? It was Pete’s fault! She was trying to protect AJ," Lindsey said.

"You don’t know how many times I’ve tried telling her that, but she refuses to listen," Jessica said.

"Howie says that AJ refuses to talk about it, too. He also said that he goes out all the time, more than usual," Nikki said. "He’s worried about him."

"I don’t think any of the guys have really figured out the whole story, yet. I think it’s time we told them," Jessica said.

"You know Tracey asked us not to," Nisey said.

"Yeah, but look at what it’s doing to her," Jessica said.

"Don’t you think that by now, AJ would have figured out Tracey wasn’t out to betray him?" Nikki asked.

"Yeah, but you know guys. They never admit they’re wrong. They have too much pride," Lindsey said. They all agreed on that.

"So, what’s the plan?" Nisey asked.

"Well, the AMA awards are next week, maybe we could figure out something then," Jessica said.

"Don’t you think we should get ready for the concert?" Nikki asked. "We told the guys we’d be there before they went on stage.

"Yeah," Jessica said. They all went their separate ways, to get ready for the concert.

Tracey’s..........

Tracey thought that if she worked long enough, she would be too tired to think about AJ. Just when she thought she had succeeded, thoughts of him would pop into her mind. She didn’t know how much more of this she could take. She stared at herself in the mirror and saw the circles under her eyes. It had been two months since that horrible day, when her heart was broken.

After her story had hit the press, it had been big news, until some politician had done something stupid and took the focus off of her and the group. CD sales had slipped for a few weeks, but they were back up, higher than they had been before. She and the girls were scheduled to start working on the new album in the upcoming weeks. They had a few promotional concerts to do, but then they would be off for 8 months to focus on the album and the next tour. She heard through the other girls, who were still dating the guys, that the Backstreet Boys were scheduled to two more months of touring. They were doing two concerts here, in Orlando. Tracey knew she shouldn’t go, but she needed to see AJ. She missed waking up with him in the morning, missed his smile, his voice. She still loved him.

As she prepared to go to the concert, Tracey thought about the good times she and AJ had, had. She didn’t really understand why she felt the need to go to the concert, but she was going.

Jessica, Lindsey, Nisey and Nikki had asked her what she was doing that night. She had told them that she had made plans already. She didn’t want them to know she was going to the concert, tonight. It didn’t take her long to get ready for the concert, she wasn’t getting dressed up for anyone. AJ wouldn’t even know she was there.

The arena....

When she got to the arena, it was already packed. She found her seat and sat down. The girl next to her smiled at her. "Hi. I’m Dayla."

"I’m Tracey," she said.

"Have you been to a Backstreet Boys concert before?" Dayla asked.

"Uh, yeah," Tracey said.

"They’re great, aren’t they? I seen them when they were here last time," she said. She stopped and looked at Tracey closely. "Can I ask you something?" Tracey nodded. "Are you from ‘Mystique’?"

"Uh, yeah," she said, slowly.

"Oh, I love your cd. I seen you on tour with the guys! You guys are great! Can I have your autograph?" Dayla asked, searching for a pen and paper.

"Sure," Tracey said.

"So, why aren’t you backstage?"

"Oh, I don’t know. I haven’t seen the guys since the last night of the tour," Tracey said, evasively. She was saved from further questions, when the stadium lights went down.

When the lights came back up, the Backstreet Boys were on stage. Tracey’s eyes immediately found AJ. He looked so good. She drank in his appearance. He hadn’t changed much. He still made her heart race.

Midway through the concert, AJ took the microphone and said, "This next song is for all of you out there who have ever been betrayed by someone you thought you loved! I know what it feels like." It was almost as if he knew she was there. She could feel her heart breaking all over again. She unconsciously let her hand drop to her stomach. "Don’t Want You Back," started. Tracey couldn’t take it anymore, she had to get out of there. She stood up and walked out of the concert.

When she got back to her place, she started to write AJ a letter. In the letter, she tried to explain to him what had happened. She was sitting in the middle of a huge pile of throw away letters, when someone knocked on her door. She quickly gathered up the garbage and threw it in the trash. When she answered the door, she was surprised by who was standing there.

"Jessica, Nick. What are you guys doing here?" Tracey asked, surprised.

"Well, we thought we would stop by and see a friend," Nick said, giving Tracey a hug.

"It’s good to see you, Nick. How’ve ya been?" Tracey asked.

"Good. We haven’t seen you in a while, so I made Jessica bring me over here. So, how have you been?"

"Uh, good," Tracey lied.

"You know, you’re not a good liar," Nick said. "You look as bad as AJ. What happened between you guys?"

"It’s a long story...a story that I don’t want to discuss," Tracey said. "Please don’t ask me to. It hurts too much."

"Ok, but if you need a guy to talk to, you know you can talk to me," he said.

"Thanks," Tracey said, as she heard her phone ring. "Why don’t you guys make yourselves comfortable, while I get that?" She turned and went down the hall to answer the phone. "Hello?"

"Hey Tracey," a voice said.

"Jordan! What are you doing?"

"Talking to you," he said.

"Duh, I mean, what have you been doing?"

"Not much. Working on some new stuff, getting ready for the AMA’s. I seen you in the news a little while back, and I’ve been meaning to call you. What happened?" he asked, concerned.

Tracey told him the short version of the story, ending with how she had her heart broken.

"Are you going to get him back?"

"He doesn’t want me. He made that clear tonight." Tracey explained about going to the concert and what had happened.

"Well, one of the reasons I’m calling, is because I want you to sing with me at the awards."

"Me? What song?"

"It’s a new one, ‘Still Waiting for You.’ Will you do it?"

"You know I can’t say no to you," Tracey said.

"Good! How are the other girls doing?"

"Good, they’re each dating a Backstreet Boy. I’m the only one who’s single and on the loose," Tracey said.

"Really? No good guy has snagged you yet, huh? Good, wanna be my date for the show?"

"You know what? I think I will," Tracey said. She and Jordan talked for a little while longer, then Tracey remembered she had guests and made plans with Jordan to get together to work out the plans for the AMA’s. She had been friends with him for a long time, and she was glad she was going with someone she felt no pressure to impress.

When she walked back out into the living room, Nick and Jessica were watching tv. "I’m sorry guys. I didn’t mean to be on the phone that long."

"No problem." Jessica said.

"We should get going, anyways," Nick said. "We’re supposed to meet with the rest of the group." Tracey looked down at the ground, not sure what to say. Jessica elbowed Nick. "I’m sorry, Tracey. I didn’t even think."

"It’s okay, Nick. I’m going to have to get over it sooner or later," Tracey said. "Have fun."

"Do you want me to stay?" Jessica asked.

"No, I’m a big girl, I’ll be ok," she said. She watched Nick and Jessica leave, wishing she could go with them.

The hotel, before the AMA’s.....

The hair stylist put the final touches on Tracey’s hair, then helped her slip into her dress. It was a long black dress, with a slit up the side. She was getting ready a little earlier than the other girls, because she didn’t want to be here when the guys picked her friends up. There was a knock at the door and Tracey went to answer it. "Jordan, come on it, I’m almost ready."

"Lookin’ good, Trace," Jordan said.

"Thanks, you don’t look too bad yourself," she said. She finished putting on her jewelery, grabbed her evening bag and took Jordan’s arm.

In the car to the Award show, Jordan could tell that Tracey was a million miles away. "Hey, what’s up?"

"Huh? Oh, I was just thinkin’."

"You were thinking about AJ, weren’t you?"

"Tonight is the first time I will see him, since the last night of the tour. Other than the concert I went to. I’m scared."

"You still love him, don’t you?"

"Yes. I’ve tried not to, but I can’t help it," Tracey said.

"Why don’t you talk to him?"

"He won’t listen. He hates me. I don’t blame him."

"Stop it! You didn’t do anything wrong! Pete did. You didn’t betray him. Can’t you understand that? If AJ had any brains at all, he would realize that, and come crawling back to you," Jordan said. Tracey just looked at him, stunned. She had never seen him so upset.

"Thanks, Jordan, I needed that," Tracey said.

"I hate to see you hurting. Talk to him."

"I’ll try."

At the AMA’s...........

Tracey and Jordan were showed to their seats. She was lucky, that the way the seating was arranged, she wouldn’t have to sit near AJ. She couldn’t sit there, near him, and not talk to him. The Backstreet Boys were over in the left section, while Mystique was in the right hand section.

"Hey Tracey," Nisey said.

"Hi. You guys look great!"

"You look pretty good, too," Lindsey said.

"Are you and Jordan ready for the song?" Jessica asked.

"I hope so. I’m kind of nervous," Tracey said. "Jessica, can I talk to you?" Jessica nodded and followed Tracey. When they were alone, Tracey turned to Jessica. "What did he look like?"

"Don’t do this to yourself," Jessica said.

"I can’t help it. I still love him."

"He looked horrible," Jessica stated.

"No, he didn’t."

"I know, I’m just trying to make you feel better. There’s something you should know. He’s not here alone," Jessica said. "He’s here with some bimbo. She’s such and airhead! I don’t think she has the brain God gave a potato."

"We should go back to our seats," Tracey said. Jessica grabbed her arm and looked into her eyes.

"Are you gonna be ok?"

"I’ll survive," Tracey said, the pain evident in her green eyes.

Yeah, but will you start to live, again? Jessica thought to herself

When it was time for Jordan and Tracey to head backstage, Jessica squeezed her hand and said, "Knock ‘em dead."

They didn’t have to wait long backstage, before they were told they would be up next. "And now, performing, please welcome Jordan Knight and his special guest."

The lights went down, and Jordan made his way onto the stage. One lone spotlight shined on him. He started to sing the ballad. When it came to the part Tracey was to sing, she made her entrance from the side of the stage. A spot light followed her, as she made her way to where Jordan was. He picked up her hand and looked at her. Tracey looked out at the audience, thankful for the glare of the spotlight. It didn’t allow her to see the faces in the audience. Just knowing that AJ was out there, made her nervous. As she gained confidence, she sang with all her heart, singing for no one, but AJ. When the song ended, the applause was deafening. They bowed, and made their way backstage.

"You did great!" Jordan said, hugging her.

"Thanks! I was really nervous at first," Tracey said. They made their way back out to their seats.

"Tracey, that was awesome!" Nikki said. Tracey smiled at her and took her seat next to Jessica.

"You were singing it for him, weren’t you?" Jessica whispered.

"Was it that obvious?"

"Only to someone who knows you like I do." The girls settled back. The next award was for Best Duo or Group. When it was announced that the Backstreet Boys had won, Tracey felt her heart start to race. She watched them make their way up to accept the award, her eyes immediately searching for, and finding, AJ. He looked so wonderful.

After a short break, the award that Mystique had been waiting for came up. Best New artist or group. After the names were read, the girls took each others hands and squeezed.

"And the winner is: Mystique!" The girls jumped up, squealing. They made their way to the stage and accepted their award.

"I would like to thank everyone who made this possible! Thanks to the Backstreet Boys for taking us on tour with them, management, and my family!" Lindsey said. Each of the girls made a similar speech. When it was time for Tracey to speak, she drew a blank. She stepped up to the podium and smiled.

"Uh, I just forgot everything I wanted to say. So, thanks to our fans for buying the cd’s and coming to see us! We love you guys!" That was lame, she thought to herself, as they made their way back to the press room. They got their pictures taken and answered a few questions. The rest of the night flew by, and before they knew it, they were on their way to one of the many after parties. Tracey rode with Jordan, and let the others ride with the guys.

The party.......

When Tracey and Jordan made their way into the party, she sawthat the girls and their boyfriends were already there. Her eyes locked with AJ’s. Even at this distance, she could see what she thought was hate, shining there. She was the first to look away. She and Jordan made their way around the party.

"Tracey, there’s AJ, go talk to him," Jordan said.

"No, I can’t. I can’t have my heart broken all over, again," she said.

"Look, he’s alone, now’s the time to talk to him."

"Jordan, I’m scared," she said.

"Of what? Of being hurt?" She nodded. "Aren’t you already hurting? At least this way, you can tell your side of the story and if he rejects you, he doesn’t deserve you anyway. So, just go over there and talk to him."

"Ok. Wish me luck," she said. Jordan gave her an encouraging hug and pushed her toward AJ. Tracey could feel her heart racing and her palms sweating.

"Hi, AJ," she said, quietly. AJ turned around at the sound of her voice.

"What do you want? Do you need more information?" he said, snidely.

"Look, I know what you think--," she started.

"You don’t know anything! I don’t want to talk to you, I don’t want to see you! Just get away from me," he said, coldly. His date rejoined him and looked at Tracey curiously. AJ put his arm around her and kissed her. Tracey felt the tears threatening, and knew she needed to get out of there.

"Who was that, AJ," she heard the blond ask, as she was walking away.

"That was no one. Don’t even give her another thought, I won’t," he said, knowing Tracey could hear every word.

Tracey felt a tear sliding down her cheek and made her way blindly through the crowd. By the time she had reached the outer edge of the party, the tears were coming full tilt. She stumbled out into the crisp night air, not really knowing where she was going. All she knew was that she needed to get away from there. She heard someone calling her name, but she kept going. She made her way out into the street to hail a cab, and didn’t see the car headed straight for her, until it was too late. The car tried to stop, but was traveling too fast. It hit her with a sickening thud.

"Tracey! Oh, my god! NO!!" Jessica screamed. She had just witnessed her best friend being hit by a car. She ran to where Tracey now lay, motionless. She pulled her cell phone out of her purse and called 9-1-1. Soon, the sound of sirens could be heard, as they rushed to the scene. A few of the party goers had made their way out to see what all the commotion was about.

"Jessica? Jess!" she heard Nisey shouting.

"Nisey! Over here," Jessica waved.

"Oh, my God! What happened? Tracey?" Nisey said.

"She was hit. I seen her leave the party, upset, so I followed her. She wouldn’t stop, and then she stepped out in front of the car. He tried to stop, but it was too late," Jessica said, shakily. "Oh my God, she has to be okay. She’s my best friend." Nisey hugged Jessica, as she watched Tracey being loaded into the ambulance.

"You go with her, I’ll go get the rest of the girls," Nisey said, pushing Jessica towards the ambulance. Jessica got into the ambulance and took Tracey’s hand.

"Trace? It’s Jess. Come on, open your eyes. I know you can hear me. You’re my best friend, you can’t leave me," she said. When they reached the hospital, Tracey was whisked away to surgery. Jessica paced out in the waiting room, waiting for the rest of her friends to arrive. It wasn’t long, before Nisey, Kevin, Lindsey, Brian, Howie, Nikki and Nick arrived. Jessica flew into Nick’s arms. He didn’t say anything, just held her tight. Once she had composed herself, she turned to the group. "They took her into surgery. I haven’t heard anything since."

"What happened?" Brian asked.

"I don’t know. I just saw her leaving the party, and she looked upset, so I followed her. I called to her, but she just kept going. Then she stepped into the street. She didn’t see the car," Jessica said.

"I know what happened," a voice said. The group turned to face the new voice. "I told her she should talk to someone. Apparently it didn’t go well, and the next thing I know she was leaving the party," Jordan said. He looked upset. Jessica walked over to where Jordan was standing and hugged him. "I feel like it’s my fault. I told her to talk to him," he said.

"Him?"

"AJ," Jordan said, quietly. He pulled Jessica aside, so they could talk alone. "I thought she could explain to him what had happened. She told me about it when I called her. I could tell she was really upset about the whole thing, so I told her to talk to him. I told her none of it was her fault and that she hadn’t betrayed AJ."

"Huh, I tried telling her that, but she wouldn’t believe me," Jessica said.

"Well, she went over to talk to AJ. I couldn’t hear what was said, but when she turned to leave, I could tell she was on the verge of tears. I think he said something else, as she left that really set her off."

There was a commotion at the emergency room entrance and Jordan and Jessica turned to see what was going on. Jessica’s face went pale.

"Hey y’all! Whassup?" AJ slurred, drunkenly.

"Bone, calm down," Kevin said.

"Don’t tell me what to do," he said, his arm around his date.

"How dare you," Jessica said.

"What’re you jabbering about?" AJ said, turning to Jessica.

"You all will have to quiet down, or I’m going to have you escorted out," said a nurse, who had heard the commotion.

Jessica grabbed AJ by the arm and jerked him outside. "What are you doing? Lemme go," AJ said.

"No! Now, you are going to listen, and you are going to listen good!" Jessica said, poking AJ in the chest with her finger. "Do you know my best friend is in there right now, and it’s all because of you? I don’t even know what she sees in you, anymore, you ass!"

"Hey, I’m not the one who--," he started.

"No, I’m talking, you’re listening. I know what you think Tracey did. Have any of your secrets been revealed? No. Has any bad publicity hit you? No. The only one bad publicity hit, was Tracey! She did that, so she wouldn’t betray you! It was her plan all along. She was being blackmailed by one of her ex-boyfriends. He told her if she didn’t find out stuff about you guys and tell him, he would expose her "dark past." Even before she met you guys, she knew she didn’t want to do it, so she racked her brain trying to figure out how to not help Pete. What you heard that day when you walked in was Tracey stalling Pete. She never planned to give him anything on you or the others. But you wouldn’t listen, so now she’s laying in there, and I don’t even know if she’s going to live or die. Are you happy? Your secrets are safe now!" Jessica yelled, swiping angrily at the tears that were now falling. She never usually raised her voice, but seeing how AJ was acting brought her to her boiling point.

"I, she, I--," AJ started.

"Don’t even talk to me right now. She loves you! Still! I don’t know why, but she does! You don’t deserve her!" Jessica said, turning to walk back into the hospital.

AJ sank to the ground, sure his heart was breaking. He knew now, that he had hurt Tracey. He wasn’t even sure if he would ever get to apologize. Jessica’s words echoed through his head. ‘What you heard that day was Tracey stalling Pete. She never planned to give him anything on you or the others.’ Why didn’t I listened when she tried to talk to me? he thought. ‘Because you thought you were right, you idiot.’ a voice in his head said. He got up and started walking. He didn’t know where he was going, he just needed to get away from here.

Inside the waiting room....

"Jess, are you ok?" Nick asked, when he saw his girlfriend coming back into the hospital. She was crying.

"Yeah. I’m just upset, and I’m afraid I took it out on AJ," she said, going to Nick and wrapping her arms around him.

"Whatever you said to him, he probably deserved it," Brian said. "He’s been a bear to be around lately."

"Guys, I think it’s time we told you what happened between Tracey and AJ," Lindsey said, looking at the other girls, who nodded. "Let’s all go down to the cafeteria." When they got down to the cafeteria, Jessica told the whole story of how Pete had been blackmailing Tracey. By the end of the story, she was nearly in tears, again, worrying about her friend.

"Then when AJ showed up here, I lost it. I told him this was his fault, because he wouldn’t listen to her when she tried to talk to him," Jessica finished.

"So, that’s why you guys were always in the papers a few months back," Howie said.

"Yeah. Tracey figured it would look better if she was the one to expose her past, instead of Pete," Nikki said.

"What is the big secret?" Kevin asked.

"You mean you guys don’t know?" Nisey asked.

"No, we were so busy, we never had a chance to pay attention. I feel bad now, but we never thought anything of it. We just knew you guys were in the news a lot. We thought it was something to do with your record sales or upcoming tour," Brian said.

"Well....." Lindsey said, looking at the group. She saw Jessica nod and began to tell them what happened.

Early the next morning....

After they had finished talking, they had come back up to the emergency waiting room. They were all exhausted and each tried to rest until the doctor came out. Nikki laid her head in Howie’s lap.

"I hope she’s alright," Nikki said. "She’s like a sister to us."

"I know how you feel. She’s our friend, too. I just keep thinking about how I would feel if it was one of the guys," Howie said. "Why don’t you rest, now? I’ll wake you up when the doctor comes out."

"I’ll try," Nikki said, closing her eyes.

"Jess, why don’t you sit down?" Nick said.

"I’m worried."

"We all are, but you aren’t going to do Tracey any good, if you don’t rest," Nick said.

"I know, but I can’t help it. Every time I close my eyes, I see her flying through the air." Nick took her into his arms and hugged her tightly.

"She’ll be okay. She has to! She’s a fighter."

A few hours later....

"Are you friends of the young lady that was struck by the car?" a male voice asked.

"Yes," Jessica said, anxiously. Nisey, Lindsey, Nikki and Jessica went over to talk privately with the doctor.

"Well, your friend is very lucky to be alive. The speed at which the car hit her was fast. She hit her head hard when she hit the ground. We don’t know if she will be able to walk. She’s still under right now, and she lost the baby."

"What?" Jessica said, surprised. "Baby?"

"Yes. I see she didn’t tell you. Well, there was a baby, about 3 months along, but she lost it," the doctor said. "We aren’t letting anyone in to see her until tomorrow."

"Oh gawd," Jessica said. She looked at each of the others, the shock apparent on their faces.

AJ Mclean....

AJ walked, until he was too tired to walk anymore. He had thought about what he had put Tracey through. She had tried to tell him, but he hadn’t given her a chance. If only she had come to him sooner. They could have worked it out. He would have helped her with this Pete guy. He wouldn’t have hurt her, then. He dropped his head into his hands and tried to squelch the feeling of helplessness he now felt.

He wanted to make things right with Tracey, he only hoped he would get a chance. He stood up and started walking back towards the hospital.

At the hospital.....

"You can go in and see her now, two at a time. Please don’t stay longer than five minutes," the nurse said. Jessica and Lindsey stood up and followed the nurse back into the Intensive Care Unit. When they got to Tracey’s room, Lindsey took Jessica’s hand and squeezed. Jessica took a deep breath and tried to prepare herself for what she was about to see.

Tracey laid still in the hospital bed, with tubes running in and out of her. Jessica could see swelling on the side of her head. Just seeing her laying there, brought tears to her eyes. She walked over to the side of the bed and picked up Tracey’s hand. "Hey Trace, it’s me, Jessica. We’re all here, Lindsey, Brian, Nick, Nikki, Howie, Nisey, Kevin and Jordan. We love you," Jessica said, with a catch in her voice. "You get better fast." Lindsey could tell that Jessica was on the verge of tears, so she led her friend from the room.

When they got back into the waiting room, Nick walked over to where Jessica stood and just hugged her. Brian did the same for Lindsey. Nisey and Nikki made their way back to see their friend. Two by two, they made their way back.

"Jessica?" a voice asked, warily. Jessica turned around towards the voice.

"I’m too tired to fight with you," Jessica said.

"I’m not here to fight. I wanted to tell you how much of an idiot I’ve been and that I’m sorry. When I thought Tracey had betrayed me, I just lost it. I loved her and I thought she’d been playing me all along. It hurt and when I’m hurt, I tend to push away the people that mean the most to me," AJ said, the pain evident in his eyes. "I think I knew after a little while, that she hadn’t planned to hurt me, but my pride got in the way. I was afraid of being hurt, again."

"I’m sorry I lashed out at you last night, AJ. I was worried about Tracey. She’s like my sister and to see her hurting, hurt me. I wanted to tell you sooner, but she wouldn’t let me. She thought that it was all her fault and she didn’t deserve you. Only last night, did Jordan convince her that it wasn’t her fault, but Pete’s. That’s why she decided to talk to you last night," Jessica said.

"Oh, god, this is all my fault," AJ said, breaking down. "Please don’t let her leave me! I didn’t get to tell her how much I loved her!"

Jessica put her arm around AJ to comfort him. "Do you want to go see her?" He nodded. "I’ve got to warn you, though. She looks bad. There are tubes everywhere and she’s still in under from all of the pain medication they gave her."

"Ok," AJ said, not really sure of what he would find. He followed Jessica into Tracey’s room. He went to her bedside and took her hand in his. He sat down and stroked her hand, speaking softly to her. Jessica could tell that he needed to be alone with her, so she silently crept out of the room.

"Tracey, I’m so sorry. For everything. For not listening to you and trusting in you. Please don’t leave me now. Come back to me," AJ pleaded. He sat there for hours, just holding her hand and quietly talking to her. He felt his eyes start to droop, but he didn’t want to leave her side.

Jessica walked into Tracey’s hospital room to check on how she was doing. She hadn’t expected to find AJ asleep, still clutching Tracey’s hand. She looked at Tracey, seen her eyelids flutter and hope swelled within her. She walked over to the side of the bed and took Tracey’s other hand in hers.

"Trace? It’s Jess. Come on, open your eyes. I know you can hear me," Jessica coaxed.

From somewhere in the darkness, Tracey heard a deep voice talking to her. She wanted desperately to go to the voice, but felt too weak. She felt the blackness overcome her once more.

Days later....

"Trace? It’s Jess. Come on, open your eyes. I know you can hear me." Tracey struggled to open her eyes. When she finally got them open, she tried to focus on the figure next to her.

"Jess," she whispered hoarsely.

"I’m here," Jessica said, tearfully.

"Where am I?"

"You’re in the hospital."

"What happened to me?"

"You were hit by a car. Don’t you remember?"

"A little. I hurt," she whispered, trying not to let the tears of pain fall.

"You were banged up pretty good. You’ve been in here for 6 days."

"6 days?"

"Yeah. Next time you want a break, just ask," Jessica teased.

"Doctor?" Tracey asked.

"I’ll go get him. And the others will want to see you. They’ve been pretty worried about you," Jessica said, nodding her head toward AJ. Tracey turned to where Jessica nodded. She was surprised to AJ holding her hand, fast asleep.

"What’s he doing here?"

"I yelled at him, then he did some thinking. When he came back, we talked. He told me that he knew, in the back of his mind that you weren’t out to hurt him. But he was scared and his pride got in the way," Jessica explained. "Will you be ok, while I go and get the doctor?" Tracey nodded and watched Jessica leave the room. She turned her attention back to AJ. He was still sleeping. She didn’t know whether to be glad or angry that he was there. He had hurt her deeply, in more ways than one. She turned her head back to the wall and closed her eyes.

AJ came awake with a start. He could have sworn that he heard voices, but when he looked around, he was the only one in the room. He must have dreamed them. "Tracey, if you can hear me, open your eyes. Please come back to me," he pleaded. Tracey heard him, but wasn’t ready to face him. She heard the door to the room open.

"Excuse me. Can I ask you to step outside, while I examine my patient," the doctor asked. AJ went out into the ICU waiting room, to wait while the doctor examined Tracey.

"Miss Plouffe? Are you awake?" the doctor asked.

"Yes," she whispered.

"How are you feeling?"

"I hurt," she said.

"Well, let’s start the examination." The doctor checked her blood pressure, and heart rate. "Can you feel this?" he asked, wiggling her toes.

"I don’t feel anything," she said, scared. The doctor wrote something down on his chart and continued. When he was done, he turned to her.

"Tracey, did you know you were pregnant?"

"Yes. That’s the one thing that’s kept me going," she said.

"When you were hit, you lost the baby," he said, gently.

"My baby?" she said, feeling tears well up in her eyes.

"I’m sorry."

"I want to be alone," she said.

"I’ll be back in a little while to talk to you," the doctor said, respecting her wish to be alone.

Tracey laid in the hospital bed, overcome by grief. It was the one piece of AJ she had, had to hold on to. Now she had nothing. She felt tears sliding down her cheeks and made no move to stop them. After she had cried herself out, she fell into a restless sleep.

Nisey and Lindsey walked into Tracey’s hospital room. They walked over to the side of the bed and looked at their friend lying there, so still. They could tell she had been crying. When Tracey turned her head toward them and open her eyes, they smiled at her.

"Hey you," Nisey said, gently. "‘bout time you wake up."

"You had us worried," Lindsey said.

"Sorry guys," she said.

"Hey, no problem. We’re just glad to have you back," Nisey said.

"So, how are you feeling?" Lindsey asked.

"Like I was hit by a truck," Tracey said, dryly. Nisey and Lindsey didn’t know if they should be shocked or if they should laugh.

The weeks following the accident....

The days were long and hard for Tracey. When the doctor told her that she was paralyzed, Tracey was stunned. They didn’t know if it was permanent or not. She had laid in bed and felt sorry for herself.

"Tracey?" a voice called from the doorway of her room.

"What do you want, AJ?" Tracey asked, wearily.

"Can we talk?" he said.

"Don’t you think you’ve said enough?"

"Look, I’m sorry," he said. "Would you at least look at me?"

Tracey turned her head and looked him in the eye. AJ was shocked by the emptiness he saw there. Before, her eyes had been filled with life, mischief and humor. Now they were dull and lifeless. He knew that he was partly to blame.

"I know you weren’t out to hurt me," he said.

"Give this boy an A!" she said, sarcastically. Inside she didn’t know how long she could keep this up. She didn’t want AJ to be with her, because he felt sorry for her, or he felt guilty. She was trying to make him leave. Trying to give him his freedom, so he wouldn’t feel guilty about leaving her.

"Tracey, please listen to me. I never meant for any of this to happen. Please forgive me," he pleaded.

"What does it matter anymore, AJ? There isn’t a baby anymore," Tracey said, dully. Tracey couldn’t have shocked AJ more, if she had told him she were a man. AJ sat there stunned. He hadn’t known anything about a baby.

"Baby? There was a baby?"

"Oh, please. That’s the only reason you’re here. Just leave, AJ," Tracey said, turning to the wall, so he wouldn’t see the tears forming in her eyes. AJ didn’t know what to say. He needed to clear his head and to think about what had just happened. He got up and quietly left. That’s when the tears that had been forming, started to fall silently down her cheeks.

The next few weeks, Tracey started therapy to rehab her leg. It was tough and sometimes, she just wanted to throw in the towel and give up. But, she knew she couldn’t. She couldn’t disappoint their fans by giving up. Since she had been in the hospital, there had been a steady flow of get well wishes. It touched her, that so many fans cared.

She was released after four and a half weeks. She still had to go to the hospital for check-ups and rehab, but she was going home. Home, she sighed.

When she arrived at her house, she felt all alone. She had already pushed AJ away. Now, some of the jokes she made about her situation, confused her friends/bandmates. They didn’t know how to treat her. Tracey knew she was being ridiculous, but she couldn’t help it. She was feeling sorry for herself. She insisted that everyone leave her alone for a little while.

"How did my life become such a mess?" Tracey asked aloud. She

had pushed so much, that she wasn’t sure if she deserved to have any friends left.

She wheeled herself into her kitchen, so she could get something to eat. When she turned to grab a plate, she realized that they were out of reach. It was the last straw. She felt the tears coming and knew that there was no stopping them.

"Tracey?" a voice asked. Tracey turned, startled. "I’m sorry, I knocked, but no one answered. What’s wrong?"

"I don’t know. I’m scared. What if I never walk again? How did I make such a mess of this?" Tracey asked, struggling to gain composure.

"Trace, you will walk again. I know you! You have courage, and you’ll overcome this!" Jessica said, hugging her friend close.

"I just want to give up! I lost my baby, I lost AJ. Maybe I’ve lost my career," she said.

"Hey, hold on! Yes, you lost your baby. I know that must be very painful for you. You pushed AJ away. You haven’t lost your career! The last time I checked, your voice was fine!" Jessica said. Tracey was stunned at Jessica’s outburst. She just stared at her friend, trying to comprehend what she had said. "Why did you push AJ away?"

"I didn’t want him to be with me because he felt sorry for me. Or because he felt guilty. Or because of the baby," Tracey said.

"Do you still love him?"

"Yes," she answered, simply, without thinking.

"Then, what are you going to do about it?"

"I don’t know," Tracey answered, honestly.

A few weeks later...

Tracey worked harder than ever on the rehabilitation for her legs. She was determined to walk, again. She had asked Jessica not to say anything to Nick about her feelings for AJ. Not yet, anyway. She wanted to know what was in her future before she went to him. She wanted him to know exactly where she stood, no pun intended. She just hoped he would accept her.

AJ’s place, months later....

"Bone, what’s up with you?" Howie asked.

"Whaddya mean?" AJ asked.

"I mean, that you don’t go out, you don’t leave the apartment, you don’t do anything," Howie said.

"So?"

"Bone, you’re my friend, and I’m worried about you. Do you care about Tracey at all?"

"Dammit! I don’t want to talk about this," AJ said, the pain evident in his eyes.

"Too bad, cuz you’re going to. Do you?"

"Do I what? Love Tracey? Think about her all of the time? Dream about her? What good does it do? She hates me. She made that clear in the hospital," AJ sighed.

"AJ, she doesn’t hate you. She was hurting, so she lashed out at you. I think she’s afraid that you only want to be with her now, because you feel sorry for her."

"That’s not true!" AJ said, vehemently.

"You know that, and I know that. But does Tracey know that?" Howie asked, gently.

"No," AJ said. "How did you get to be so smart, D?"

"Just naturally, I guess," Howie said.

"Thanks, man," AJ said.

Tracey’s place....

"Tracey, are you sure you still want to go through with this concert?" Jessica asked.

"Yes. I know I’m ready," she said. "Are the guys coming?"

"By ‘guys’, do you mean AJ?"

"Well, yes. But I want to know if my friends are going to be there, too," Tracey said.

"Yes, they’ll be there. Are you going to finally talk to AJ?"

"Yes, I am," Tracey said. She thought about the concert. It was a concert that was for a charity. They had been scheduled to do it, for nine months. It had been 5 months since the accident. It had been a long five months, but she had survived. Now she was going to go to AJ and give it to him straight.

The next night at the concert...

Nikki pushed Tracey’s wheelchair to the side of the stage. Tracey was nervous. She hadn’t been on stage since before the accident. The girls gathered around her.

"Are you guys ready for this?" Tracey asked.

"I am," Nisey answered.

"Me, too," Nikki replied.

"Me, three," Jessica joked.

"Yup!" Lindsey said. "Are you?"

"As ready as I’ll ever be," Tracey said. She smiled at her friends. She was lucky to have such good friends. They had stood by her, even when she had tried her best to push them away. They were stubborn, but that was a good thing.

"Excuse me ladies, but I need to talk to this lady," a voice Tracey recognized as AJ’s, said. The next thing she knew, he was pushing her wheelchair to a private area.

"AJ, I have to perform," Tracey said.

"This won’t take long. I am going to talk to you, and you aren’t going to run," AJ said. Tracey looked like she wanted to argue, but AJ held his hands up. "Look, just let me say what I have to say. Ok, here goes. One: I’m sorry. I should have listened to you, but I was hurt. I thought you’d been playin’ me all along. That didn’t sit too well with me. Two: I still love you. I’m sorry about our baby. Three: Will you forgive me for being stubborn?" She nodded. AJ kneeled in front of her, "Finally, will you marry me?" Tracey stared at AJ, stunned. She didn’t know what to say. She looked at the ring he held in front of her. It was a heart shaped diamond that Tracey had admired, before their break-up.

"What about this?" Tracey said, indicating her legs.

"That doesn’t matter. What matters is, I love you! So, will you be my wife?"

"Yes! I love you so much, AJ!" Tracey cried. AJ pulled her close and held her tight. He slipped the ring on her finger. "God, this feels so good, to be in your arms again!"

"You’ve made me the happiest man!"

"AJ? I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, about Pete," Tracey said.

"I understand your reasons," AJ said. Tracey wanted to say more, but a stage manager came over and told her is was almost time for her to be onstage.

"I love you. Don’t say anything to anyone about us, yet. I want to tell everyone together," she said.

"I’ll try," AJ said. He pushed her wheelchair back over to where the girls had been watching them. He kissed her cheek, and went to join the rest of the guys.

Tracey had her left hand in her lap, so that the girls wouldn’t see the ring AJ had given her. They looked at her questioningly. She shook her head, "I’ll tell you about it, after the performance."

Just then, they heard their name being called. They made their way onto the stage. The applause was deafening. Tracey took her microphone and looked out at the audience. "It’s good to be back in front of an audience again!" Loud cheers. "I want to take a few minutes and thank all of the fans who took the time to send me get well wishes, when I was in the hospital! You guys are the reason we’re here!" More cheers. "The song we’re going to perform is one I wrote after the accident. It’s for someone very special," she said, glancing at the side of the stage where AJ was watching.

The chords of the song, began to softly flow. Tracey smiled at her friends, then began to sing. The words coming from her heart. Then, she did something that surprised them all. She stood up and walked away from the wheelchair. It shocked her groupmates so much, that they almost forgot the words. She winked at them. When she glanced over to where AJ was, his mouth was hanging open, too. She blew him a kiss. By the end of the song, the crowd was on its’ feet, loudly cheering. They thanked the crowd and made their way off stage.

"Tracey, why didn’t you tell us you could walk?" Lindsey asked, happily.

"I’m sorry! I wanted it to be a surprise," Tracey smiled. "I’m not to full strength yet, but the doctor says I’m making good progress! I’m going to be able to dance, again!"

"Tracey?"

"AJ," she said, turning to face AJ. "I wanted to surprise you."

"You did," he said.

"Good, then we’re even," she grinned. Their friends looked at them funny. AJ took Tracey’s hand and they turned to the group. He nodded. "AJ has asked me to marry him, and I accepted!"

Their friends gathered around them, offering their congratulations. Nikki watched her friend. She was finally happy. So happy, that she was positively glowing. She took Howie’s hand in hers and smiled at him.

The secret is revealed...

Later that night....

"AJ?"

"Hmmm?" he answered.

"Can we talk?"

"Uh oh, sounds serious," he said.

"It is. I wanted to tell you what caused this whole mess," Tracey said.

"I know, it was that guy, Pete."

"I know, but I mean what Pete was holding over me," she said.

"You don’t have to tell me. It’s all in the past."

"I know, but I think you should know. K, here goes. When I was younger, I was abused by a "friend" of the family. It made me feel so, so--, dirty. I didn’t feel like I was worthy of anyone’s love, so I took off. I ran away. I felt so used and dirty.

I got into drugs and alcohol. I was into just about everything. The only thing I didn’t do, was sell my body. I wouldn't let anyone close enough to touch me. You were the first," she said. He looked like he was going to say something, so she said, "Let me get through this. Then we can talk. After four years of that, it’s amazing that I’m not dead. Finally, a good friend found me and helped me. She set me on the right path and helped me get cleaned up and sober. She also made me realize that what happened to me wasn’t my fault. And helped me to realize that someone could love me. I didn’t want my past getting out, because it’s not something I think our younger fans needed to know about. It’s not something I wanted to talk about. Plus, I didn’t think parents would want me as a role model for their children, with all of the stuff I did. I mean drugs and alcohol almost ruined me. I was scared. I’m sorry it hurt you." By the time she finished her speech, tears were making their way down her cheeks. AJ brought her closer to him and wiped her tears away.

"I’m sorry you had to go through something like that," he said softly. "But to overcome it, shows how strong you are! I’m sure parents realize that, and would want their kids to look up to you. I know I do. I love you." He lowered his head and kissed her.

A few weeks later...

Tracey and Lindsey walked up to Kevin’s door and knocked. They were here for a barbeque. The door opened and Kevin ushered them inside. He looked different, but Tracey couldn’t place it. She just shrugged and walked to the backyard. Her eyes immediately searched and found AJ. She made her way over to him and put her hands over his eyes.

"Who’s this?" he asked, feeling her hands. "Hmm, a girl. Ok, make it quick, whatever you do to me, my fiancé will be here soon!"

"UH!" Tracey said, taking her hands from his eyes.

"I knew it was you. I could tell by your perfume,:" he said, kissing her.

"Guys, we’d like to talk to you for a minute," Kevin said, his arm around Nisey. He smiled down at her. The group turned their full attention to the couple. "Ok, well, we’ve been keeping something from you for quite some time. After the our tours ended, Nisey and I went away together."

No one looked too surprised. A few of the couples had gone away together. "We went to Las Vegas, and we were married," Nisey said, a smile covered her face.

The statement surprised everyone. No one knew what to say. Then there was a mixture of voices and people offering congratulations. "Why didn’t you tell us sooner?" Nikki asked.

"We wanted to, but there didn’t seem to be the right moment. We were going to tell everyone after the awards show, but..."Nisey stopped. "Believe me, there was nothing more that I wanted to shout, but there just never seemed the right time."

"I’m so happy for you two," Jessica said, hugging each of them.

"Kev, you dog!" Brian said, hugging his cousin. "I’m happy for you guys!"

The happy news set the mood for the party. It had been a long time since they had all been together, for a relaxing night.

Epilogue....

Tracey and AJ’s wedding was beautiful. Lindsey, Nisey and Nikki were her brides maids and Jessica was he maid of honor. Of course AJ’s bandmates stood beside him through the wedding. It was a beautiful day....

The End

Please tell Tracey what you thought of this story!