What He Didn't Say

By: Valerie

Copyright: 1999

She woke up to the sound of someone pounding on her door. After turning on the light she looked at the clock. Who could that be at this time of the morning? She wondered putting on her robe she walked into the living room.

"Valerie, let me in."

"Joey it's three in the morning, what are you doing here? And drunk, too. Why didn't you go home?" she asked him as he walked in the door and headed for the couch. "I couldn't go home, it's too quiet there. The house is so lonely since Amy died. I didn't want to be alone. You don't mind do you?" he looked up at her with those blue eyes full of sadness.

"You know I could never say no to you when you look at me like that. Of course you can stay the night," she told him and sat down in the chair across from him.

"Thanks baby I knew I could count on you," Joey said.

"I'll always be here for you. So what was it tonight that set you off?"

"Everything. Every time I walk into that house I'm surrounded by memories of her. She loved it so much." He looked so sad her heart went out to him, despite of what she thought of his marriage.

"I know she loved it. She put a lot into it. If it's so had to go back there, don't you think it would be a good idea if you -"

"If I what? Sell the house. You know I can't do that .I don't believe what I'm hearing. I thought you were supposed to be my friend?" he shouted and walked over to the bar.

"That's not fair and you know it, I am your friend. Just listen to me." She said as he came back to the couch after downing another drink.

"I don't have to listen to anything else, I'm leaving.," he said and started to get up.

"Oh no your not. You're drunk, I'm not letting you get behind the wheel of a car."

"Fine I'll sleep it off on the couch."

"Ok we'll talk about it in the morning," she said walking to the closet.

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Fine Joe, just go to sleep," she grabbed a couple of pillows and a blanket and threw them on the couch. "Goodnight Joe." Goodnight."

She walked back into her room and took of her robe. Climbing back in bed, she wondered how things got so screwed up. Thinking about Joey sleeping one the couch, she wished he would pick up the pieces and move on. Valerie knew the death of his wife had been hard on him. She also knew that their marriage wasn't a happy one. Joey had been ready to walk out on her. He was in the middle of moving his things out of the house, when they had their last fight. Amy ran out of the house and was in a car accident. Valerie could still remember when Joe showed up on her doorstep and told her Amy was dead.

Having a hard time sleeping, she got up and went into the kitchen. Not prepared to see him there, she jumped when he grabbed her arm. The next thing she felt were his lips on hers.

Instead of pushing him away like she knew she should, she leaned into the kiss even more. His arms went around her, making it hard to think with his hands moving up and down her back. Valerie knew she should stop this, but she couldn't. They'd face the consequences in the morning, because tonight this is what she wanted and he needed. Joey picked her up and carried into her bedroom. The lovemaking that followed was the best it had been in awhile for her. Even though she knew it was wrong, she couldn't stop it. After it was over, Joey put his arms around her and they fell asleep.

Waking up first, Valerie turned and looked at the man sleeping next to her. He looked so peaceful, she wondered if he'd ever be at peace with himself again. She knew he took all the blame for his wife's death. Although the blame could be shared between them both. The fact of the matter was that they had been having an affair, which was why he was leaving Amy. Joey wasn't the only one being unfaithful, though. Valerie was married, also. Her husband, Chris, still had no idea what was going on. Watching Joey sleep, she wished things hadn't turned out this way. They were supposed to divorce their spouses and then marry each other. The way it was meant to be. Funny how things never work out like they should.

"How long have you been watching me sleep?" Joey asked as he leaned up to kiss her. "Not long enough. I was just thinking about how you look so innocent when you're sleeping."

He leaned over again for another kiss and was interupted by the telephone.

"Don't answer it. It's never good news when someone calls this early in the morning." "Which is exactly why I have to answer it. Might be important.," she said as she grabbed the phone.

"Hello beautiful, how are you doing this morning?" Chris' voice brought her back to reality and she looked and Joey and told him not to say a word.

"I'm great, how are you doing honey?" she said trying to sound glad to hear his voice. She felt Joey leave the bed and wanted to go after him, she got her husband of the phone as quick as she could, put on her robe and walked into the living room. Hearing his car door slam, she opened the front door in time to see him drive away.

Closing the door behind her, she walked into the living room and sat on the couch. Not able to hold back the tears, she laid down. Noticing the jacket Joey had left behind she pulled it up to her and could still smell him. Tired of feeling sorry for herself, Valerie got up and decided to do something about the situation. After calling her lawyer, she took a shower and got dressed. She tried calling Joey, but he wasn't home, that or he wasn't taking her calls. When she arrived at her lawyers office, she started to wonder if she was doing the right thing. Then the memories of last night came back to her and she knew this was what she wanted. Her lawyer drew up the papers and she signed to the appopriate copies. Not looking forward to what would happen when she told Chris of her decision, Valerie decided to go shopping to take her mind off of things. On her way home, she went by Joey's, wanting to tell him, and hoping hoping for a little encouragement. He still wasn't there so she headed home.

Turning onto her street she saw Chris' car in the driveway. Knowing she need to get this over with, Valerie grabbed the divorce papers and headed in the house. "Hey Chris I-"

"What the hell is this doing here?" Chris asked holding up Joey's jacket.

"Was he hear again last night?"

"Yes Joey was here. He had a bad night and didn't want to go back to that house."

"So why does he always have to come here with all of his problems? He has other friends. Can't Jordan or Donnie help him out some time?" he asked, his frustration level rising.

"Look Joey and I have been friends for a long time, I'm not going to abandon him when he needs me the most," she yelled back matching his anger.

"Well why don't you get the hell out of here and spend more time with him. Only this time don't bother coming back."

"You know what, that's a damn good idea. I think I will," she said throwing the papers at him. "You can start by signing these."

She left him standing there speechless and walked into the bedroom and started packing a couple of bags.

"Divorce papers? You went to a lawyer already?"

"Yes, I went this morning and had him drew them up. This isn't working anymore. There's nothing left for me in this marriage."

"I can't believe you would throw all of this away. You have a beautiful house, expensive car and clothes. Everything you want right here in front of you. Nobody's ever said no to you. Especially not me. How could you give that up?" Chris asked not believing what he was hearing.

"Yes, Chris, you do give me the world. Do you still love me though?"

"What? How can you ask that? Would I give you all of this if I didn't?" Chris asked.

"I think you give me all of this to keep me happy, yes, but can you honestly say you still love me? The way you did on our wedding day? I don't think you can. We've grown apart, have different interests now. We're not the same people who were so in love that we eloped. You’re so involved in your work that you don't even know what's going on in my life anymore. Your not here."

"What? What is going on that I don't know about? Why don't you tell me?"

"It wouldn't do any good if I have to tell you. It won't change anything now. I'm going to finish packing my things."

"I can't believe you think your gonna do better than this, better than me. Good luck. When I get back I want you gone." She heard the door slam behind him.

Looking around she didn't know where to begin. She started with her Clothes and when she was done she took them out to her car. Valerie laughed to herself as she wondered how much longer it would be her car. She left Chris a note saying she would be back tomorrow to get the rest of her things tomorrow after he left for work. Grabbing Joey's jacket on her way out, she got in her car and wondered where she would go now. Joey, she thought. She'd tell him what happened and maybe she'd crash at his place for the night .On her way to his house she thought about how they could be together now. Finally have the happiness they deserved. She wasn't prepared for what she saw when she arrived.

She knocked on the door, expecting Joey to answer, shocked when a blonde wearing a towel opened the door.

"Who are you?" the blonde asked.

"I think I'm the one that should be asking the questions, who are you? And where is Joey?" Valerie asked as she tried not to get upset. There's probably a good explanation for all of this, she thought, although she had a good idea she what was going on.

"Considering I'm the one on the inside of the house, I think I'm the one in control." Valerie could feel the rage building up inside of her. "Can you ju-"

"Who is it, honey?" She heard Joey asked as he came out of the bedroom.

"I don't know, she won't say." He walked up behind the blonde and looked surprised to see Valerie standing there. "What are you doing here?"

"Obviously wasting my time. I'm outta here," she said turning around to walk away.

"Come back, wait a second," he said following her out to her car.

"No Joe. I shouldn't have come here." He could tell she was mad, because she only call him Joe when she's mad at him. "Don't worry about it, I shouldn't have come here tonight."

"But you did come, and you obviously had some reason to come here at this time of the night," he grabbed her arm and turned her around to face him. "Why are you here?"

"It's not important, just forget about it," she said getting in her car. She didn't look back as she pulled out of his driveway.

Three months later she was beginning to get to get her life back together. The divorce was almost final and she'd moved out into her new apartment. Going back to work had been the best thing she could have ever done. Valerie had forgot how much she loved working at the radio station. As hard as she tried though, she couldn't forget what happened the last time she saw Joey. Not a day went by that she didn't think of him. They hadn't talked since that night. It's for the best, she thought, we both need to move on. That was easier said than done, because she had just found out she was pregnant. A baby. Hers and Joey's. Only he would never know.

"I can't believe you're not going to tell him, he has a right to know," Debbie told me.

"It's my decision and he's not gonna know. Besides, I don't even know where to find him. He just released his CD and he's out promoting it."

"Valerie, you work at a radio station. It won't be hard to find out where he is. Look, I'll give you a few days to do this on your own. Otherwise, I'll do it myself," she said giving Valerie a hug and heading towards the door. "I mean it, too." I knew she did.

When she got to work that day, she got on the computer and started searching. So into what she was doing, she didn't notice her program director walk in the door.

"Earth to Valerie, hello?" I looked up and came back to reality. "Sorry Candy, my mind was somewhere else."

"Well, pay attention to what I'm saying, because your not going to believe who is doing a surprise show tomorrow night Joey McIntyre. His CD is doing so well he wanted to do a special show for those of us who were behind his comeback all the way. It's invitation only. Mostly radio personalities general managers and record executives. Here's your invitation. I have a previous engagement, so I expect a full report from you the next day."

"I can't go."

"What do you mean you can't go? You have to. This radio station has to be represented. You were such a big part of getting his music on this station and back out to the people."

"Give the invitation to someone else, because I'm not going."

"Oh yes, you are," Debbie said walking into the office. "This is the perfect chance to tell Joey the good news."

"What good news?" Candy asked. "Oh well it doesn't matter, you're going. That's an order." she said and walked out before I could protest.

"Thank alot for the help."

"Your welcome and you're going, if I have to drag you down there myself," she said, sitting down in front of me. "Besides, Joey would want you to be there for him."

"I haven't talked to him in three months, I'm sure he's moved on by now."

"I don't think so. I saw him after that night and he looked like shit. He was miserable not knowing where you were. He knows abut the divorce."

"How did he find out?"

"He called your house looking for you. Imagine his surprise when Chris told him you moved out. He also figured out that's what you were going to tell him that night you came to his house. Can I just say something in Joey's defense?" I just looked at her knowing she would say it regardless of my answer.

"Ok that's what I thought. Anyway, you now the girl that was at his house meant nothing to him. He needed someone, she was there. He wants you. You're the one he loves."

"If he loves me so much, why did he marry Amy in the first place?"

"You really don't know, do you?"

"Joey has been in love with you for years. It hasn't been easy for him to watch you with all the guys you've dated over the years. Knowing he wanted to be the one to hold you when you were upset and the one to make you laugh. He just had to except that all he could be was your friend. When you met Chris and saw how happy you were with him, he knew there would never be a chance. All he could do was pretend to be happy for you. He thought that if he got married before you did, that somehow it would lessen the pain. Joey tried to make his marriage work, but he didn't love Amy. He always has and always will love you."

Valerie sat there looking at her friend and had a hard time believing what she was hearing. She had no idea Joey had felt that way about her for so long. She had only come to realize how she felt about him just recently. Things might have turned out so different, if only he had told her how he felt.

"How do you now all of this?" she asked, still dumbfounded.

"We've had alot of long talks about you. Due to the fact that neither one of us thought you should marry Chris. There was just something about him I didn't like. I can't say I'm real sorry that you left him. I knew you could do better all along."

Valerie had to laugh. Debbie had never been one to hold back her feelings. She told her flat out that the marriage was a mistake.

"Well you've never beat around the bush where Chris was concerned. You've always told me exactly what you thought. Only know I wish I had listened."

"You know you can make this right. All you have to do is go to this party tomorrow night."

"Ok, you win. I'll go.

The party came to soon far Valerie. She had no idea what she was going to say to him. What if he didn't want to talk to her, or if he had a date. Maybe he didn't even want her to be near her. Her thoughts were interupted by Debbie knocking at her door.

"You look good. Joey's not gonna be able to keep his eyes off of you. Baby blue dress to match his eyes. Nice touch.

"Come on let's go get this over with."

"Well that's a good attitude to have. It's going to be great, you'll see."

The first people Valerie saw when she arrived were Donnie and Jordan .It was great to see such friendly faces, although she wasn't sure how they would react to her being there. Her fears quickly vanished when Jordan put his arms around her and gave her a big hug.

"I'm so glad your here. It'll mean so much to Joe to see you again. He's been very worried about you."

"I wasn't sure if I should come or not, but Debbie and Candy didn't give me a choice."

"Well I'm glad you did, it's been a while since I've seen you. We missed you, where is that husband of your anyways?" Donnie asked giving me a hug.

"You mean you guys don't know?"

"Know what?"

"Chris and I are getting divorced. I moved out. I thought Joey would have told you."

"No he didn't say anything about it. Maybe he didn't want want to get my hopes up. He knows I've always had the hots for you," Donnie said, which made her laugh. She could always count on Donnie to cheer her up.

Valerie noticed Jordan was looking over her shoulder and turned around to see what he was staring at. She found herself looking into the most beautiful blue eyes she had ever seen.

"Hey Joey"

"What are you doing here?" Joey asked. Valerie looked at him surprised at his reaction to presence.

"Joe, what kind of question is that, you know she came to see you," Jordan said.

"I don't want you here. If I remember correctly the invitation was to Candy, not you."

"She had a previous engagement and couldn't be here. She asked me to come in her place, besides, I wanted to talk to you."

"I have nothing to say to you," he said with a coldness in his voice she hadn't heard before.

"Well I have something to say to you," she said, pulling him away from the rest of the group.

"Nothing you have to say will change anything, Valerie. When I didn't hear anything from you for a little while, I thought you didn't want to have anything to do with me anymore. I moved on. We can't go back and change what's happened in the past. We also can't go on hurting each other either. I'm sorry," he said walking away and taking her heart with him.

Valerie walked back over to their friends and tried to keep the tears from coming to the surface. The one thing she knew was that she had to get out of there fast.

"I'm leaving, he made it clear he's moved on and doesn't need me. Would one of you guys mind bringing Debbie home? I need to go now," she asked wanting to go home so she could let the tears flow.

"Of course we don't mind, we'll see that she gets home safely," Jordan replied putting his arm around Debbie's shoulder.

"I'm sure you will."

"Are you gonna be ok? You don't need to get upset in your condition," Debbie said, regretting the words the minute they left her mouth.

"What condition?" Jordan and Donnie both asked looking at her.

"Nothing, I'm fine. See you guys later," she said and turned and walked away before anyone could say anything.

"What condition are you talking about? And don't say you can't tell us, if it concerns Valerie we need to know," Jordan said, his voice filled with concern.

"She's pregnant. With Joey's child, but you can't tell him. She needs to be the one to do that."

"I agree. Is that what she wanted to talk to him about tonight?" Donnie asked as he turned and looked at his friend .If he only knew.

"I'm sure that's what she was going to do .I told her if she didn't then I would. We have to get the two of them talking. They've wasted to much time already."

"Your right, we have to get him to her tonight. She doesn't need to be alone," Jordan said and started walking towards Joey.

"Where is he going?" Debbie asked adding, "He'd better not tell him. I'll kill him if he does."

"He won't tell him. Let's go find out what he did."

They walked up to Jordan as Joey was walking away. "Ok what did you say to him?

"I just told him how upset Valerie was when she left ,so he went to make sure she got home ok. He gave me a lecture about letting her leave in the first place. Then I reminded him about how stubborn she was. I think they'll get together before tonight's over with."

"Well we might as well enjoy ourselves while we're here. Wanna dance Debbie?" Donnie asked and they were gone before Jordan could say anything.

"Figures I always get stuck by myself," Jordan said to himself as he walked over to bar.

On the way to her apartment, all Joey could think about was what he had said to her earlier. He knew what he was saying was shit, but he had to convince her he'd moved on before he got hurt again. When he got there he noticed the front door was open. Walking he what he saw almost made him sick. Valerie was lying in the floor surrounded by blood. Looking for the phone he called 911 and went back to her to see if he could get a pulse. He found one, but it was very week. All he could do was hope that help arrived before it was too late. The ambulance arrived soon after and they headed towards the hospital. Joey sat in the back the whole time watching her, wishing that it was him instead.

Once at the hospital she was taken immediately to the operating room to see if they could stop the bleeding. Forced to sit in the waiting room, he thought about all the time he wasted. If he had only followed her the night she came to his house. He could have made her listen to the truth and they could be together now. Instead she was fighting for her life and the last thing he said to her had hurt her.

While he was waiting he called back to the party and told his mother what had happened. She assured him that she would tell the others. Within minutes, they were all in the waiting room with him. Nobody wanted to say anything, all they could do was hope for the best. A few minutes later the doctor appeared from her room, with the news they'd all been hoping for.

"Mrs. McIntyre is going to be ok. She did lose alot of blood and she suffered thru a terrible trauma. Somehow the baby survived. Mr. McIntyre have to tell you that you're very lucky. The baby appears to be unharmed. Someone was certainly watching over your wife," he said and excused himself.

"You told them she was your wife?" his mother asked as she put her arms around him.

"I had to. It was the only way they would let me stay with her."

"When did you plan on telling us that she was pregnant?"

"If I had known, you'd have been the first to know mom." Joey looked at Debbie. "That's what she wanted to tell me tonight wasn't it?" She just nodded.

"I'm going into see her," he said walking away.

As he walked into the room, all he could think about was how much he loved her. This time he was going to tell her. Nothing was going to keep them apart this time.

"Well are you just gonna stand there or are you going to come all the way in. I don't bite I promise."

"Actually I think you do, but I'm not complaining. Before you say anything, I love you. Believe me, I know it's something I should have said before. If I had you, wouldn't be here."

"What about the baby?" she forgot that he didn't know, but she had to know what happened to their child.

"The baby is fine, the doctor's were amazed. I'm sorry I didn't give you the chance to tell me yourself."

"I'll forgive you this time, just don't let it happen again. I love you, Joey. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it."

"At least you finally came to your senses. The first thing we are gonna do when you get out of here is get married," he said climbing into the bed next to her.

"You seem awfully sure that I'll marry you."

"Of that I have no doubt, you will be my wife."

"It will be an honor," she said kissing him.

The End

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