College Life

By:  Gretchen

CHAPTER ONE

Justin Timberlake ran his finger down the list of names. He found what he was looking for near the bottom: Timberlake, J. He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, and allowed himself a grin. He made it! He made the team.

He turned away from the list on the wall, and began to walk towards the doors of the gym. He hiked the backpack up higher on his back and dribbled his basketball as he walked. Just as he reached it, the door opened and another student walked in.

"Hey," the kid said in greeting, "Justin, right?"

Justin nodded, frantically searching his mind for the students' name. He stopped bouncing the ball. "I'm sorry, do I know you?"

The older boy laughed. "I'm not surprised you don't know who I am, you kept to yourself during tryouts." He stuck his hand out. "My name's JC Chasez."

Justin shook his hand, "Oh yeah, I remember you. Nice to meet ya."

JC motioned to the list, "So, you made it?"

Justin nodded, "Yeah," he grinned.

JC moved across the floor, still talking, and Justin assumed he was supposed to follow him. "I figured you would, you have some mad talent. I even spoke to the coach, trying to feel him out, see if you were going to make it."

Justin was shocked as he followed JC across the hardwood floor, "You talked to the coach about me?"

JC nodded as he opened a door and walked into the locker room, "Yeah. I'm a captain, so I like to think I have some say over who's going to make the team." He walked to a locker and began to spin the lock. "So, are you a freshman?"

Justin sat on the bench and spun the basketball on his finger, "No, I'm a transfer. My family just moved here from Tennessee."

JC began pulling stuff out of his locker and dropping it on the floor. "Where the hell is it?" he mumbled to himself. To Justin he replied, "So what year are you?"

"Sophomore," he replied.

"Ah ha!" JC said triumphantly and pulled a necklace out of the locker. "Thank God."

Justin watched curiously as he fastened the necklace around his neck. "What is it?"

JC tied the black string and when it fell against his chest, he picked up the medallion. "It's the astrological symbol for Leo." He grinned at Justin, "I'm a Leo," he said, stating the obvious.

Justin watched JC shove all the stuff on the floor back into his locker. "That's pretty important to you, huh?"

JC nodded, "Yeah, Lance gave it to me."

"Who's Lance?" Justin asked, "your brother?"

JC grinned as he moved towards the locker room door. "No, he's my boyfriend."

*****

Justin was glad JC was in front of him when he said that, cause he knew his mouth dropped open. Running to catch up, he fell in step behind JC.

"You're gay?" he asked in shock.

JC nodded, "yep." He looked at him sideways, "Is there a problem with that?"

Justin shook his head, "No. I just wasn't expecting it, that's all."

JC grinned, "Most people don't. You should have seen my mother when I told her, she practically blew a gasket."

Justin laughed, "I'm sure she did."

They walked outside in a comfortable silence. "So, Justin, you hungry?" JC asked him.

Justin shrugged, "Always."

JC grinned, "Good. Come on, Lance and I are meeting for lunch, you can join us."

Justin nodded and followed JC across campus towards the student union. Class was in session at the moment, so there weren't a lot of students outside. Justin was glad for this, because at the mention of food his stomach started rumbling, and JC seemed to know everyone and stopped just about every ten feet to talk to someone.

Justin was about to interrupt his latest conversation when he caught sight of one of his teachers walking across the lawn. He was so caught up in the sight, he didn't realize that JC was moving towards the Union until he called back.

"Yo, Justin!" JC called, "You coming?"

Justin shook his head and turned to JC. "Yeah," he said, running to catch up.

The student union was crowded, and Justin and JC waited in line for about fifteen minutes before they were able to pay for their food. JC glanced around at the tables and smiled when he caught sight of Lance. "Come on," he said to Justin, "he's over there."

Justin was surprised that JC could find anyone in this crowd, but he followed him across the room, trying to balance his full tray and hold his basketball under his arm.

JC lead him to a table out of the way where a blonde boy was sitting with his head propped up on his hand, reading an open textbook. His other hand came towards his mouth and he took a bite of an apple, chewing slowly.

"Hey babe," JC said, dropping a kiss on his head and sitting in the seat next to him.

The blonde looked up and grinned at JC, his whole face lighting up. "Hey!" He looked at his chest, "you found it!"

JC nodded, "Yeah, it was in my locker, just like I said it was." The two smiled at each other for a moment before JC remembered Justin. "Oh, Justin, sit down. This is Lance. Lance, this is Justin, he just made the team."

Justin reached out to shake Lance's outstretched hand and looked at him as he smiled. His eyes were hidden beneath wire rimmed glasses, but Justin was amazed at the clarity and color of them. His smile was open and inviting, and Justin felt immediately at ease.

"So, Justin," Lance said, "where are you from?" He closed the textbook and sat back in his chair, smiling at Justin.

"Tennessee," Justin said.

Lance grinned, "How'd you wind up here?"

Justin shrugged, "My mom wanted to move, so we did. What about you? You have an accent."

JC broke into their conversation, "He's from Mississippi," he said with an exaggerated southern accent.

Lance rolled his eyes and hit him in the arm. "Will you stop?"

Justin grinned at them and faced Lance, "How'd you wind up here?"

"When my parents divorced, my mom met a guy from Florida. They got married, and we moved here."

Justin nodded, "Do you like it?"

Lance nodded, "I love it here." His hand fell to JC's thigh, and Justin noticed JC's slight smile at the gesture.

The chair next to Justin was suddenly pulled out and someone sat down. "Hello, lovebirds," a voice said.

Lance groaned and JC smiled at the newcomer. "Hey, Joe."

"Hey Joey," Lance said.

Joey stuck out his hand to Justin, "Joey Fatone."

Justin wiped his hand on his pants before shaking his hand, "Justin Timberlake."

Joey wrinkled his forehead, "Timberlake? That's a cool name, sounds like it should be on a line of clothing."

Lance sighed, "That's Timberland, Joey."

JC rested his hand on top of Lance's. "Stop it."

Justin looked at JC for an explanation. "Joey and Lance are step brothers," JC explained.

Justin grinned in understanding. They were probably thrown together not by choice, each of them resenting the other's parent for moving in on their territory.

"So, Justin," Joey said, taking a large bite of pasta. "Tell us about yourself."

As the four guys ate, Justin found he couldn't stop laughing. There was a rivalry between Lance and Joey that Justin didn't understand, and yet he saw a brotherly love emanating from them as well. They genuinely liked each other, and Justin found it amusing how they played on the old stereotypical stepchildren rule.

And Justin couldn't keep his eyes off of Lance and JC. He was amazed they were so comfortable with being gay that they didn't care who saw them. They were constantly touching, holding hands, giving each other looks that only they could interpret. Justin watched with fascination as they spoke to each other, an undertone of love in their voices.

And the other students were supportive. Justin saw how popular JC was in just the short walk from the gym to the union. Apparently, no one cared that he was gay, in fact, judging by the number of people who stopped by their table to talk to one of the three guys, most people were supportive, and accepting of Lance and JC's relationship.

"So, Justin, what's your major?" Lance was asking him.

Justin shrugged, "I'm undecided right now. What's all of yours?" he asked the others.

"Joey's major is girls," Lance grinned.

Joey ignored him and pointed to himself, "I'm a theatre major, JC's music, and Lance is business management."

Lance took off his glasses and rubbed his nose. JC noticed the gesture and began to rub his neck gently, causing Lance to close his eyes in pleasure. "So, you have no idea what you want to do?" JC asked as his hand worked on Lance's neck.

Justin allowed himself a small smile and thought of his teacher crossing the lawn. "I'm leaning towards psychology."

Lance opened his eyes and slipped his glasses on his nose, "Psych? Why? I hated that class."

Justin shrugged, "I like my professor."

Joey laughed, "I remember Psych 101, I never missed a class. Is it Ms. Jenkins? She would make me turn to psychology."

Lance scoffed at Joey, but was ignored by his stepbrother.

Justin looked at Lance and JC's intertwined hands. He took a deep breath, "Actually, it's Professor Kirkpatrick."

CHAPTER TWO

Professor Chris Kirkpatrick groaned as he entered his office. His desk was piled high with papers waiting to be looked at, his bookshelves were overflowing with textbooks and psychology magazines, and on the chair against the wall were files that he had to go over before the next faculty meeting. Which was in...Chris looked at his watch...exactly forty-five minutes.

He dropped his bag by his desk and sat down heavily in his chair. "I need a damn assistant," he mumbled to himself. His eyes roamed the desk, searching for any pressing matters. He sighed as he realized he better start on those files.

Grabbing the top manila folder off the pile, he made room on his desk and opened it. Student advisor. Great. Like he wanted to sit in meetings with these kids and tell them what classes to take. Like they were going to listen. He could tell them they absolutely needed that eight AM Behavioral Psychology class, and they wouldn't listen because eight AM was too early for them to drag their hung-over asses out of bed.

Chris grinned as he thought of some of his students in his early class. They would come in, eyes bloodshot, feet dragging them to the last desk in the row, and promptly put their head in their arms and go back to sleep. Chris actually felt some sympathy for them, since it wasn't too long ago he was in their shoes.

The smile fell from his face as that fact crossed his mind. He was young, only twenty-eight, and he knew he didn't want to be here. He didn't want to be a college professor, that's not what he aspired to do when he chose his profession. He wanted to help people, he wanted to make them better. He sure as hell didn't want to wake up every morning and teach a bunch of kids psychobabble from a textbook. That's not what psychology was to him. It wasn't about the theories, or the thoughts of great minds. Sure, that was part of it, but the real joy was in helping others get well.

He shook his head and went back to his folder. Why was he thinking about this now, when he had a meeting in twenty-five minutes? He realized he only thought about quitting when there was a reason to. Like that time when he had half his students drop his class because they thought it was too hard. Or that time when he was counceling a young student on the side and she attempted suicide. Or the time that the other Professors found out he was gay.

Chris searched his mind, looking for the reason he wanted to quit. Sure, he was tired of his job, he hated getting up every morning to come to work. Everyone wanted a job that made them happy, right? But he knew it was more that that. He was content, and so what if he wasn't happy? It paid well, he had great benefits, and he had every summer and holiday off. That was definitely a perk.

So what was the reason? He had no idea.

He sighed and looked up from the folder at the mess his office was in. "I need a damn assistant."

*****

JC and Lance exchanged glances with each other. Joey just looked confused. "Kirkpatrick? I've never heard of her."

Lance rolled his eyes, "Joey, Professor Kirkpatrick is a man."

Joey nodded, "Oh, that explains it." His mouth dropped open as he looked at Justin. "You like a guy?"

"What's wrong with that, Joey?" JC asked, a slight smile tugging at his lips.

"Yeah, Joe," Lance echoed, "you have a problem with that?"

Joey shook his head at them, "You know what I mean. You guys are gay, you like other guys, that what you do." JC and Lance rolled their eyes and Justin grinned as Joey continued, "We are not gay, therefore we like classes that women teach. Don't we, Justin?" He turned to Justin, who opened his mouth and shut it, not saying anything.

JC leaned forward, "Something wrong, Justin?" he asked quietly.

"Way to go, Joey," Lance muttered to him.

Realization dawned on Joey's face. His eyes grew wide, and his cheeks became slightly flushed. "Oh my God," he said softly, "You're gay?" He turned to JC, "Damn, your gaydar is finely tuned." Lance kicked him under the table.

JC ignored him, and looked at Justin, who was staring at his plate. "Justin, are you alright?"

Justin looked up and met JC's eyes. He shrugged, "Yeah, I guess. I mean, I don't know."

Lance glared at Joey briefly before turning to Justin. "You're confused?" he asked with sympathy.

Justin nodded, "Yeah, I mean, I have a girlfriend back home, but once in a while..." his voice trailed off.

JC smiled softly, "Once in a while, you just can't stop thinking about a certain guy, and you want to be with him more than her?"

Justin nodded enthusiastically, "Yeah, that's exactly it! I mean, I love Brit, I do, but sometimes I don't feel anything for her, you know? It happened once back home, with a guy that moved next door to us. But I didn't think anything of it. And then, with Prof. Kirkpatrick, I just sit in his class and I'm actually interested!" He grinned slightly, "And believe me, not much interests me at nine in the morning."

JC grinned at Justin. "Trust me, I know where you're coming from. I was perfectly happy with women, and then I met Lance."

"And the shy little country boy from Mississippi corrupted you," Joey cut in.

Lance spoke through gritted teeth, "Will you please shut the hell up?"

Joey grinned at Lance and stuck a piece of garlic bread in his mouth.

JC rested his hand on Lance's thigh to calm him down, "Actually, that's exactly what happened. I met him and I knew I wanted to be with him."

Lance laughed shortly, "Yeah right, it wasn't that easy, Josh."

JC ducked his head, slightly embarrassed, "Well, no, I had my share of 'no I'm not gay' issues to work out."

Justin looked at them curiously, "And you did, and look where you are now, right? Happy."

JC smiled softly at Lance, "Yeah, I'm happy." He turned back to Justin, "Look, love comes in all forms, it shouldn't matter where you find it. If you think you may be gay, or just bisexual, you have to find out." JC squeezed Lance's hand, "Just think where I would be if I didn't admit to my feelings."

Joey grinned, "Probably still with that tramp, you know, the one you dumped for Lance?"

Lance glared at Joey, "Can we please not talk about her? God, Joey, do you purposely try to get on my nerves?"

Joey grinned, leaned his chair back on two legs and pointed at Lance, his fingers like a gun, "Bingo."

Lance stood up, "I'm leaving. I have to get away from him." He looked down at JC, "I have to go to the library after my class, I'll be a little late."

JC nodded, "I'll be home, we don't start practice till next week. Have fun in class," he squeezed Lance's hand, and Lance leaned down and kissed him quickly. "Bye, Lance."

"Bye Josh. See ya, Justin," Lance said to him as he picked up his backpack. He grinned one more time at JC before he turned away.

"Bye Lance," Joey called. "See ya at home."

In response, Lance raised his hand and gave Joey the finger.

JC turned to Joey, "You know you should be nicer to him."

Joey shrugged, "Come on, JC, he knows I'm only screwing around."

JC shook his head, "Sometimes you go too far with him. You know how he is."

"Fine, JC," Joey sighed, "I'll try to be nicer to your boyfriend."

Justin watched the exchange with mild curiosity, but his mind was on other things. JC was right, love did come in all forms. But he wasn't in love with his professor, that was ludicrous. He simply enjoyed his class, he loved hearing him talk about the theories of psychologists past. Justin was amazed when he began to speak of the process of healing, of helping others. Professor Kirkpatrick's eyes would light up, he wouldn't be able to sit still. Justin found himself enraptured with the lectures, he actually wanted to learn more. He was already looking at the class listings for the next semester, trying to find Psych classes that he could take.

He was pulled out of his thoughts by Joey, who had placed a hand on his shoulder, "So, Justin, you want to come to our party this weekend?"

JC groaned, "What party? I don't remember talking about a party?"

Joey grinned and pushed his chair back as he gathered his trash on his tray. "I just decided, we're having a party."

"Lance isn't going to be happy, you know he has a test on Monday."

Joey stood and looked down at JC, "You need to let go of the strings a little bit, JC. Stop being so damn protective of him." Joey grinned at Justin, "So, you coming?"

Justin glanced at JC, who gave him a weary smile, "Um, sure, I guess."

"Cool," Joey said. He took a piece of paper out of his notebook and scribbled down the address, "This is our house. Party's at nine. But feel free to stop in anytime." He handed it to Justin.

Justin took the paper, "Thanks." He pocketed it and glanced at his watch. "I've got to go, I have a paper to write."

Joey was already moving away from the table, "See ya at home, Jace!"

JC lifted his hand in acknowledgement and turned to Justin. "Hey, you ever need anyone to talk to, feel free to call me. Joey gave you the number, too, right?"

Justin fished the paper out of his pocket and looked at it. "Yeah." He dumped his garbage in the can and set his tray on top before picking up his backpack and basketball. "Y'all live together?" he asked as they made their way out of the Union.

JC nodded, "Yeah." He grinned slightly and rolled his eyes, "And it sucks. Joey and Lance are constantly bickering."

Justin grinned, "I've noticed." He began to bounce the ball as they walked down the sidewalk. "I think they enjoy it, though."

"You've noticed that, too?" JC grinned crookedly at him. "It's kind of a love-hate relationship they've got going on." He stopped at the entrance to Justin's dorm. "Well, I'll see ya around, Justin."

Justin picked up his ball and spun it between his hands, "Thanks, JC. If I don't see ya before then, I'll talk to you Friday."

JC nodded and looked at him seriously, "Look, Justin, this may not be my place or anything, but these feelings you may be having," he ran his hand through his black hair and sighed, "don't be scared of them, like I was, okay? Just go with it."

Justin cocked his head, "Was it that bad for you?"

JC shrugged, "It wasn't easy for me to admit, I'll say that. When we have more time, I'll tell you the whole story."

Justin nodded, "Okay." He moved to the entrance, "See ya, later, JC!" He waved and walked into the dorm.

Moving towards the stairs, he ran up the four flights, taking the steps two at a time. He never took the elevator, he figured that little bit of time on the stairs was at least some kind of workout. Slipping his key into the lock, he opened the door and let out a sigh of relief when he saw his roommate was gone.

"Thank God," he muttered, dropping his backpack on his bed.

Justin's roommate was his polar opposite, and they barely got along. Actually, they got along great, considering they never spoke to each other. Justin looked at his roommate's half of the room in disgust. His bed was unmade, dirty clothes littered the floor, the bed and the desk. Posters proclaiming Marilyn Manson a God or something were on the walls. His desk drawers were open and overflowing with what Justin assumed was drug paraphernalia, and Justin knew somewhere he had some actual drugs. He shook his head, he had to get out of here.

Justin moved to his desk and pulled out the chair, turning on the computer. He had a paper to write, he couldn't worry about his roommate right now. Pulling his backpack closer to him, he opened it and took out the books inside. His gaze fell on the psychology textbook that lie on top.

Justin heard JC's voice in the back of his mind, "These feelings you're having...just go with it."

Justin's lip curled into a smile as he looked at the book. "Just go with it," he whispered.

CHAPTER THREE

The alarm sounded and a hand reached out from under the blankets to shut it off. Groaning, Chris rolled over and looked at the clock. “It can’t be seven already.” He sat up in the bed, stretching as he dropped his feet to the floor. “Three, two, one,” he muttered.

As if on cue, a voice floated up the stairs. “Chris, are you up?”

“Yeah,” he called back, his voice laced with sleep. So damn predictable. Every morning, the alarm, and then not even a minute later, the voice of his lover calling up the stairs. How anyone could be awake and so damn cheery at seven o’clock in the morning was beyond him.

Wiping his face, he stood and shuffled over to the bathroom. As he moved, the sleep left his body. Surprisingly, he got a good nights rest. He had tossed and turned in the beginning of the night, his mind on work, but when he fell into his slumber, he slept like a rock.

Turning on the shower, he stepped under the spray. He washed quickly, knowing he had to get to school early to begin the student advisory he was assigned. Toweling off, he looked in the mirror at his reflection. Rubbing his chin, he decided not to shave, in fact, maybe he’d grow a goatee. How would those tight wad professors like that? Chris reached for his razor and began to shave his cheeks, leaving the stubble around his mouth.

He walked back into the bedroom and glanced at the clock. Seven twenty. “Three, two, one.”

“Chris, the coffee is ready.”

Chris shook his head as he dressed. So damn predictable. What the hell was he doing with him anyway? He didn’t love him anymore. Their relationship had steadily progressed from dating, to passion, to moving in together, to more passion, to simply being slightly more than roommates. Although Chris knew these feelings were pretty much one sided. His lover hadn’t changed at all.

It was him.

He was sick of everything. Sick of getting up every morning and going to a job he didn’t enjoy. Sick of his lover being so predictable, and yes, boring. Sick of the rut his life seemed to be in. And sick of not knowing how to escape from it.

He sighed as he slipped on his shoes. He needed a change. He needed to break up with his boyfriend, and get him out of the house. He needed to figure out why he once again loathed his job, fix it, and move on.

“And to top it all off,” he muttered, grabbing his jacket on the way out of the bedroom, “I still need an assistant.”

*****

Moving down the stairs, the aroma of coffee and bacon sizzling hit him. That was one thing his lover was good for, he was an impressive cook. Stepping into the kitchen, he saw his place all set up for him at the table, a cup of steaming coffee to the side of the plate. He pulled out his chair and sat down.

“Morning Chris,” his boyfriend said from the stove, not turning around. “Sleep well?”

Chris blew on his coffee, “Yeah, I guess. Morning Danny.”

Turning at the tone of his voice, Danny studied him, “Are you okay?”

Chris forced himself to look up at him. “Fine. Why?”

Danny shrugged as he moved the bacon from the frying pan to a plate. Shutting off the stove, he moved to the table. “You just don’t seem yourself lately, that’s all.” He set the plate down and sat in his own chair. “What’s wrong?”

Chris busied himself with putting food on his plate. “Nothing, really.” He took the plate of bacon and chewed on a piece. “Let’s do something this weekend.”

Danny looked up from his newspaper, “That’s only a day away, Chris. We can’t do anything.”

Chris studied him over his coffee. “Why not, Danny? Let’s just get in the car and drive.” Chris watched as Danny glanced back at his paper and then back at Chris. Snapping the paper and pushing a lock of blonde hair out of his eyes, he answered Chris.

“We can’t. There’s not enough time to plan.”

Chris’s eyes narrowed. This is exactly what he was thinking about earlier. Danny was just so boring anymore. There was no spontaneity in their relationship, everything had to be planned. And it usually had to be planned by Danny.

The words came out before Chris had a chance to stop them. “I think we should break up.”

That got Danny’s attention. “What?” he asked, glancing away from the paper, “that’s silly.”

Chris stood and walked to the sink, dumping out his coffee. “What’s silly?”

Danny didn’t look at him when he answered, going back to his newspaper. “Us breaking up. Just because I don’t want to go away this weekend? We’ll go somewhere next weekend.”

Next weekend, I’ll have someone else, Chris thought bitterly.

“Danny, this isn’t about this weekend. It’s about us. We’re just not right for each other anymore. I’m not happy,” Chris sat down again. “Dammit, get your nose out of the paper and talk to me.”

Danny lowered the paper, folding it neatly and setting it aside. “What’s going on, Chris? I know you’re unhappy with work, but why are you taking it out on us?”

Chris sighed and ran a hand through his hair, “This has nothing to do with work. I’m bored, Danny, can’t you see that? We never do anything spontaneous. When was the last time we just packed our bags and went away? We used to do that all the time, remember?”

Danny reached across the table and placed his hand over Chris’s, “Fine, we’ll go somewhere this weekend.”

Chris stood and began to get angry. “Don’t you get it? I don’t want to be with you any longer! I’m sick of being bored, I’m sick of the predictability, I’m sick of...” his voice trailed off when he saw the hurt look in Danny’s eyes.

“Me,” Danny finished softly. “You’re sick of me.”

Chris dropped to the chair next to him. “I’m sorry, Danny, I really am. We just want totally different things, I guess.”

Danny’s gaze hardened, “You are twenty-eight years old, Christopher. I think it’s time you grow up a bit. You cannot act like one of your students.” He stood up, “I’ll be gone by the time you get home.”

Chris nodded, “I’m sorry,” he said sincerely.

Danny softly touched his hair as he spoke. “I know you are.” His hand lingered on Chris’s hair, and the next moment, he was gone.

*****

Chris drove on to campus, feeling surprisingly good. Danny had gone upstairs, presumably to pack, and Chris cleaned up the kitchen before leaving. He found himself singing along to the radio, and as he slowed for students to cross in front of his car, for once he didn’t curse them.

Slamming his car door shut, he took a deep breath of the Florida air. Feeling it enter his lungs, he smiled. He walked to the building that housed his office, speaking briefly and exchanging pleasantries with other professors along the way.

He had figured out his problem at home. Now all he had to do was figure out his problem at school. He mentally went through his schedule, looking for any clue as to why he wanted to quit teaching.

His classes were full this semester, and none of the students had dropped out. They all seemed to be enjoying what he was teaching, and none of them had complained that he was too tough. Attendance was actually up, and Chris was pleased that his students weren’t skipping his class.

He was upset about the whole advisor thing, but he should have been expecting that. He had somehow been missed the year before on the list, so this year, they were sure to get him. He had spoken to some of the students he was to offer guidance to, and they had seemed to hit it off.

The elevator dinged and he was at his floor. Dreading going into his crowded office, he stopped at the psych secretary’s desk, where she gave him his mail.

“There’s someone waiting to see you,” she told him.

Chris raised his eyebrows, “Who?”

She shrugged, “I don’t know, he didn’t give a name. I think he’s one of your students.”

Chris looked at his watch. It was only a little past eight. What kind of student got out of bed that early if he didn’t have a class? “Thanks,” he said distractedly to the secretary, and left the office. Continuing down the hall, he turned the corner to where his office was located.

He stopped short as all the answers came to him.

Sitting in the chair outside his office door, was his reason for quitting.

CHAPTER FOUR

As Professor Kirkpatrick rounded the corner to his office, Justin stood up from the chair. He nervously wiped his palms on his pants, and bit his lip as he looked at his professor, who stopped suddenly in his path to his office. Justin offered a small smile, while inside, he was nervous as hell.

Prof. Kirkpatrick began his motion of walking again, and Justin noticed a slight smile on his face. His nervousness eased somewhat while waiting for him to finish the walk down the hallway. Justin didn’t know if he was doing the right thing, pretending he needed help in his class. He wanted to call JC and ask his advice, but by the time he thought of his brilliant plan, it had been too late. And Justin wouldn’t call someone before ten in the morning unless it was an emergency.

“Good morning,” Professor Kirkpatrick greeted him as he got closer.

“Morning,” Justin responded, surprised at his shyness. “Um, sorry it’s so early,” he said, just to break the silence.

Prof. Kirkpatrick waved his hand, “No problem. Although, to be honest, I wouldn’t be up if I didn’t have to be.” He unlocked the door to his office, and motioned Justin inside. Clearing room on one of the office chairs, he offered the seat to Justin. Sitting behind his desk, he clasped his hands together. “So, what can I do for you?”

Justin took a deep breath. “My name is Justin Timberlake,” he said. “I’m in your nine am class.”

His professor nodded slightly, “I know who you are,” he said softly.

Justin glanced up, “You do?” he asked, pleasantly surprised.

Prof. Kirkpatrick smiled at him. “Yeah, you’re the one who actually pays attention.”

Justin laughed nervously and looked around the office. “So, this place is a mess.” He looked up suddenly, “If you’re busy, I can come back,” he started, rising from his chair.

“No!” his teacher said, standing slightly and holding out his palm, “Please, stay.”

Justin shrugged, “If you're sure.”

He nodded, “I am.” He glanced around the office and chuckled, “It is sort of messy, isn’t it? I really need an assistant.”

Justin practically leaped at the chance. “I’ll do it,” he offered before he even thought about it. He recognized the eagerness in his voice, and hoped it hadn’t shown through. He looked at his feet and studied his professor through his eyelashes.

He really was attractive, Justin thought. He was young, Justin remembered him telling them that the first day of class, and he really didn’t look over twenty-five. His black hair was stylishly messy, and his brown eyes were warm and inviting. Justin knew if he had him for an actual psychiatrist, he'd tell him everything he wanted to know.

“Are you serious?” he asked softly, breaking Justin’s concentration.

Justin looked up. “Yeah.”

“Okay, you’re hired.”

*****

What did he just say? Chris went over the conversation he just had. He just offered this boy a job. As his assistant. What was he thinking? Was he crazy? This was going to get him in trouble for sure!

But then he looked at the boy. His face lit up, his blue eyes bright with excitement. His cheeks were slightly flushed, and he just looked so adorable sitting in his chair, his bandanna not quite covering the curls at his neck, that Chris wanted to reach out and touch him.

Yet another reason he shouldn’t have offered him the job.

He knew as soon as he saw him sitting outside his door, that he was the reason he had been looking for to quit. All the racking of his brain, thinking it was maybe a hard class he was teaching, a student that may have complained, and if he would have just actually thought about the students, mentally went through his classes one by one, he would have found his answer. The answer was Justin Timberlake.

He had noticed him the first day of class as soon as he walked in the door. He couldn’t help but notice him, he was five minutes late. That, and the fact that most of the girls in the class let out a collective sigh as he walked in the room. Chris had sternly turned towards the door when it opened, ready to reprehend the student when Justin grinned at him and told him he was really sorry, but he couldn’t find his shoes that morning because he procrastinated with unpacking.

And it was forgotten. Since then, he sat in front of the class, actually paying attention. And to Chris’s knowledge, he never missed one class.

Chris shook his head as he realized he was infatuated with the boy long before today. He would sometimes remember that he had the nine am class and get almost excited about going for no reason at all. He would look forward to Justin walking in the room, and he would watch a different girl each day to gauge their reaction when he walked in the room. There were always giddy smiles and girlish giggles as Justin chose his seat. There had almost been a fight one day when two girls wanted to take the seat next to the one Justin always sat in. And Justin always shrugged off the attention, smiling at all the girls, politely turning them down, saying he had a girlfriend back home.

He has a girlfriend, Kirkpatrick, you heard him say that himself. Why are you even thinking about this? Why are you actually thinking of quitting your job because of this?

“So,” Justin said, grinning, “When do I start?”

Chris sat back in his chair and smiled lazily at him, “You could start now if you want. This place is a mess.”

Justin looked around, “I can see that. But, really, what would I do?”

“Basically, I’d need you to first put the office in order, I’m really a slob and not organized at all. Then, I’d need you to set up some sort of filing system for me, also, once in a while help me with office things, like photocopying, stuff like that.” Chris leaned forward, “Still interested?”

Justin met his gaze and replied, “Very much so.”

And Chris wondered if he was talking about the job.

*****

Justin glanced around the Union, trying to see over people’s heads. He had just about given up on finding JC when a voice called to him.

“Justin!”

Justin turned to see Lance walking towards him, grinning. He bumped into someone, and stopped to apologize before continuing on his way. Justin stood at the condiment counter waiting for him.

“God, this place is packed,” Lance said when he got to him.

Justin rolled his eyes, “I know, I’ve been looking for JC for like five minutes now.”

Lance glanced around the seats and pointed, “He’s right there.”

Justin followed his finger and saw JC and Joey at a table. He shook his head, “How do you do that?”

Lance cocked his head, “Do what?”

Justin shrugged as they walked towards the table. “You found him right away, without hardly looking! I’ve been scanning this place for five minutes. And yesterday, JC saw you right away! Do you guys have a beacon on each other or something?”

Lance’s green eyes sparkled beneath his glasses, “I guess I just somehow know where he is. Like how twins are connected? That’s how Josh and I are.”

They stopped to allow a group of students to pass in front of them. Justin looked at Lance, “You guys are really close, aren’t you? I mean, besides being in love, he means everything to you, doesn’t he?”

Lance glanced at JC, who had seen them and waved. “He’s my world, Justin. I don’t know what I would do if I lost him. I wouldn’t only lose my boyfriend, I’d lose the best friend I ever had.”

The group of students had passed, but the two boys didn’t move. “I want that,” Justin said softly. “I want what you have.”

Lance grinned stupidly at JC, causing him to laugh, and turned to Justin. “You’ll have it someday.” They began moving towards the table, “I was just lucky enough to find it early.”

“Hey you two,” JC called when they were in hearing range.

Justin flopped into the seat across from JC and next to Joey, “Hey.” He turned to Joey, “Hey Joey.”

“Hey Justin,” Joey said, and turned back to the open playbook in front of him.

Lance grinned at Justin, “Don’t mind him, he’s studying his lines. He always ignores everyone when he does that.”

Joey looked up from the open book, “Not everyone, Lance, just you.”

JC kissed Lance quickly and turned to Justin, “How’s it going? I didn’t expect to see you until Friday.”

“Friday?” Lance asked quizzically.

JC groaned, “Didn’t Joey tell you?”

“Tell me what?” Lance asked with some trepidation. He looked at Joey, who played innocent behind his book.

Justin grinned, “You’re having a party!”

Lance’s eyes grew wide and he turned to JC. “We are?” He sighed, “Joey, you know I have a test on Monday.”

Joey rolled his eyes, “I know, Daddy JC already yelled at me.”

Justin teased him, “Oh, come on Lance, loosen up a bit. You’ll still have all day Saturday and Sunday to study.”

Lance turned to his food, “No, I won’t. Because Joey gets it in his thick head to have these parties and I end up having to clean up after him.” He picked up his cheeseburger and began to eat.

Justin turned to JC. “Guess what?”

JC looked away from Lance to see Justin practically bouncing in his chair from excitement. “What?” he asked, grinning.

“I got a job. And guess with who,” Justin said, grinning.

“Who?” JC asked.

“Professor Kirkpatrick,” he responded proudly.

“What?” JC asked, dumbfounded. Even Lance raised an eyebrow at him.

Justin nodded as he opened his can of soda, “Yeah, I went to his office this morning, I was going to say I needed help in my class. And as we were talking, he says he needed an assistant. So I offer my services.”

“I’ll bet you did,” Joey muttered. “Ouch,” he said as Lance kicked him under the table.

“Anyway,” Justin continued, shooting a look at Joey. “He said I could have the job.” He grinned at them, “Isn’t that great?”

JC shook his head, “I don’t know, Justin. I mean, I understand that you have a crush on this guy or whatever, but, he’s still your teacher.”

Justin shrugged, “JC, I know that. I’m not going to try anything stupid. First of all, I’m not sure what the hell I’m feeling towards him. I mean, I know that I’m slightly attracted to him, but I have to work things out. Second of all, I don’t know if he’s gay.”

“He is,” Lance interjected quietly.

Justin turned his gaze to him, “He is?”

Lance shrugged, “Yeah. He spoke to the students last year. There was some kind of gay rights convention and he was asked to be a speaker.”

Justin’s mind began working. This made things totally different. He knew he was gay. But, there was something else. “Okay, so he’s gay. That doesn’t mean he would want me.”

“He would,” JC said.

All eyes turned to JC. Even Joey pulled his nose out of the script. Lance leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. “He would?” he asked JC.

JC shrugged, “Sure. Look at him. He’s young, gorgeous, has a nice body, I’m assuming you’re relatively smart,” he looked to Justin, who nodded, “What’s not to like?”

Lance stood, “Yeah, what’s not to like?” He swallowed thickly and picked up his tray, “I’ve got to go.”

JC looked up, “Where are you going?”

“The library,” he said shortly. “See ya.” He walked away, dropping his trash in the garbage can on the way out the door.

Joey raised an eyebrow, “Damn. That was the first time he has ever left you without kissing you goodbye.”

JC turned his gaze away from the door Lance walked out of. “What just happened?” he asked quietly.

Joey closed his script and leaned forward, resting his arms on the table. “Well, JC. It looks like my baby brother didn’t take to kindly to you pointing out Justin’s strong points.”

Justin wished he could just crawl in a hole and die. “JC,” he said, “I’m sorry. This is all my fault.”

JC shook his head, “No it’s not, Justin.” He turned to Joey. “Why would he act like that? He knows I love him.”

Joey shrugged, “JC, you’re so wrapped up in your love for him or whatever to not realize who he really is sometimes.”

JC got angry, “And I guess you’re going to tell me all about it.”

“Yeah, I guess I am,” Joey retorted.

Justin stood, “I think that’s my cue to leave.”

JC stopped him, “No, Justin, you can stay. I’d actually like your opinion on this.”

Biting his lip, Justin sat back down. He looked at Joey and JC, who were locked in some kind of stare down.

JC waved his hand, “Well, Joe? I’m waiting.”

Joey sighed. “Lance isn’t like you and me, JC. I’m cocky, cause, well, that’s just who I am. And you, look at you, you’re Mister Popular, Mister Star Basketball Player, Mister Big Man on Campus. Lance looks up to you as some kind of God or something. JC, you’re literally his hero. You don’t see the way he looks at you when you’re not watching. Or the way his face lights up when he sees you across the room.” Joey dropped his voice, trying to get his point across to JC. “You don’t see the nights he stands outside your bedroom door, watching you sleep. He’ll stand there for hours if I let him.”

JC stared at Joey, “You’re lying.”

Joey shook his head, “I wish I was, JC. Because, really, that’s pathetic. But that’s Lance. He loves you more than anything, more than life itself. If he ever lost you, well, it would crush him.” Joey hardened his gaze on JC. “And I know Lance and I fight and bicker and tease, but, he is my brother, even if not by blood, and I won’t let you hurt him.”

JC shook his head, “I would never hurt him.”

Justin decided to interject, “But you did,” he pointed out. “By talking about me, you hurt him.”

“I don’t understand, you were just wondering if your teacher would like you.” JC looked back and forth between Justin and Joey, looking for an answer.

“JC,” Joey said patiently, “listen carefully. Lance is not like us. He has a ton of insecurities. I know deep down he knows you love him, but right now, he’s questioning it. He’s wondering if you have some kind of hidden feelings for Justin.”

JC’s face twisted, “I don’t!”

Justin smiled wryly, “Thanks, JC. That face just about says it all.”

JC grinned, “I didn’t mean it like that. I just...I would never think...” he ran his hand through his hair. “I’ve got to go,” he said, standing.

“Find him, JC,” Joey said. “And tell him you’re sorry. Please.”

JC nodded, “I will, don’t worry.” He left the union, beginning to sprint as soon as he got outside.

Joey picked up his script and turned to Justin, “It’s so hard raising good kids these days.”

Justin laughed and went back to his lunch.

CHAPTER FIVE

“Hey,” a voice said softly.

“Hi,” another responded.

JC let out a sigh. “Lance, please, at least look at me.”

Lance dropped his head and took a deep breath before looking up at his boyfriend. When he did, JC’s heart almost broke in two. His eyes were tinged with red, and there was a defeated look on his face.

He dropped to his knee next to Lance’s chair. “Baby, have you been crying?” He raised a hand to Lance’s face.

Lance twisted away from JC’s touch and turned back to his book. “No,” he answered shortly. He propped his elbow up on the table, resting his head on his fist, and tried to block out JC.

JC stared at Lance for a minute before placing his palm on his open book, and gently closing it. Lance sat back in his chair and sighed, his eyes still on his textbook.

“I’m sorry,” JC said softly. Lance nodded in response. JC sighed in frustration, “God, will you talk to me?”

Lance turned his gaze to JC, his eyes moist beneath his glasses. “What do you want me to say?”

JC stood and sat in the chair next to Lance, “I don’t know! I want you to tell me what you’re thinking, what I can do to make it right.”

Lance snorted, “You want to know what I’m thinking? Well, I’m thinking that I have a boyfriend that I love more than anything, and I’m constantly scared of losing him.” He took off his glasses and wiped his eyes, trying not to let the tears fall.

JC’s face softened, “What?” His eyes roamed Lance’s profile, watching his Adam’s apple bob up and down as he swallowed quickly, trying to stop the tears. He watched as Lance’s tongue came out to wet his lips, his eyes fall shut as he searched for the right words.

“I’m scared, Josh,” he said softly. He refused to look at JC, his focus on the wood table in front of him. “You have no idea,” he shook his head. “I don’t think you understand the depths of my feelings for you, hell, I don’t understand half the time. And I know I would do anything for you, anything you ask!” A tear escaped his green eye, and JC reached over and gently wiped it away with his thumb. Lance continued, “And then I see you on campus, and you’re so damn popular, so damn charming, and everyone wants you, wants a piece of you. I sit back, and watch those girls flirt with you, touch you, hand you their phone numbers, and I hate it! I feel like I’m going to lose you.”

“You’re not going to lose me,” JC said, his heart wrenching from the pain Lance was giving off.

If Lance heard him, he didn’t acknowledge the fact. “And the guys, they’re no different, some of them want you, too. And then you sit there, and talk about Justin,” his voice trailed off. He shook his head slightly, “And I know I don’t measure up to him. God, I’m not half of what he is. And he would be so perfect for you, so much more than I am. And that’s what I’m worried about. I’m scared one day, you’re going to wake up and think, ‘what the hell am I doing with Lance?’ You can do better than some guy who is constantly studying, who can’t play basketball to save his life, and...”

JC interrupted him, “You listen to me now, Lance. I’m not going to sit here and listen to you berate yourself!” He took Lance’s chin in his hand and forced him to look at him. “I love you. I have loved you since I first met you.”

Lance shook his head, “no, you didn’t. It took months.”

JC smiled, “no, Lance. It took months for me to get the courage to admit the feelings. As soon as I saw you, I knew. Don’t you remember how I acted? When I came to your house that day, the day you arrived from Mississippi, I didn’t even talk to you! I couldn’t, because as soon as Joey introduced us, I felt something. And it scared me, and it made me want to run, and it made me push you away.”

Lance met his eyes, “That’s why you ignored me for so long?”

JC gave him a lopsided grin, “Yeah. But that’s not the point. The point is that I love you. I don’t care how many phone numbers I get, or how many girls flirt with me,” he looked into Lance’s eyes, “I only want you.” JC took Lance’s hand in his, “You’re everything to me. And although you may not realize it, I think you’re the sexiest guy at school.” He was rewarded with Lance’s blushing, and he smiled. “And as for the girls, come on, Lance, you know I don’t like girls.”

Lance shrugged sheepishly, “Now you don’t. But before us, you did.”

“That’s just it, Lance, before us. Before you and me. Nothing exists before us.”

Lance squeezed JC’s hand, “I’m sorry.”

“No, baby, don’t be sorry. I want you to talk to me. I need to know what you’re thinking, that way we can work on it, we can talk it out.” JC held Lance’s eye, “Next time, I don’t want Joey telling me what your problem is. I want you doing that.”

Lance cocked his head, “Joey?”

JC rolled his eyes, “Yeah, Joey. And he was right on track, too.”

“Yeah, he’s a regular rocket scientist,” Lance grinned.

“Look,” JC said, grinning, “I don’t want to talk about Joey right now.” He smiled into Lance’s eyes, “Are we okay?”

Lance nodded, “Yeah.”

JC let out a sigh of relief, “Good,” he said as he pulled Lance closer to him. He kissed the top of his head. “When are you going to be home tonight?”

Lance pulled away from JC and grinned, “Let’s go home now.”

JC shook his head, “But you have class.”

Lance shrugged and ran his finger along JC’s hand and up his arm. “So? Joey’s at play practice. We can have the house to ourselves.”

JC’s eyes widened, “Are you actually thinking of skipping class?”

Lance narrowed his eyes in mock anger, “What? Am I too much of a nerd to skip class?” He gathered his books, “If you’re turning me down, I guess I could go.”

JC grabbed his arm, “No. Let’s go home.”

“I thought you’d see it my way.”

*****

Lance put his key in the lock and attempted to unlock the door. “Josh,” he said laughing, “you need to stop.”

JC was behind Lance, his arms around his waist, his face buried in the back of his neck. He licked Lance’s ear, “I don’t want to,” he breathed in it.

Lance stopped his motions and let his head drop to the side, letting out a sigh of pleasure. JC gently bit his earlobe, and moved his kisses along his neck. “Josh,” Lance moaned.

“Open the damn door, Lance,” JC growled in his ear.

Lance smiled and reached for the door, swiftly turning the key and the doorknob in one motion, pushing open the door. He stumbled in the hallway, and JC shut the door behind them.

“Josh,” he said, “the key is still in the door.”

JC pulled off Lance’s backpack and dropped it at the foot of the stairs, turning him around in his arms. “I don’t care.” His lips found Lance’s, and Lance realized that he didn’t care about the key, either.

Lance moaned as JC’s mouth worked on his, his tongue gently licking at his lips. Lance opened his mouth to JC, and immediately, their tongues found each other. JC moved Lance backward to the stairs and when Lance felt the step behind his foot, he reluctantly pulled away.

“What are you doing?” JC asked, his eyes closed, his mouth hovering above Lance’s.

“I would prefer not to break my neck trying to get up the stairs,” Lance smiled at him.

JC opened his eyes and let out an exaggerated sigh. “Okay.” He grinned and took Lance’s hand, pulling him. “Come on,” he said, moving up the steps.

Lance allowed JC to pull him, and they entered their bedroom. Once inside the door, JC turned on Lance, pulling him close and roughly kissing his lips. Lance wrapped his arms around JC’s waist, trying to get as close to him as possible. As one, they moved towards the bed.

JC ran his hands along Lance’s chest, his hands fluttering over Lance’s nipples through his tee shirt. “Josh,” Lance moaned into his mouth. That was all the encouragement JC needed. He reached between them and untucked Lance’s tee shirt from his pants, his hands moving underneath, touching Lance’s bare skin.

Lance had already unbuttoned JC’s shirt and was pushing it off his shoulders. He pulled away from JC’s mouth, “How many times do I have to tell you not to wear two shirts?” he asked playfully as he untucked the undershirt from JC’s pants.

JC ran his tongue along Lance’s jawbone and up to his ear, knowing it drove Lance crazy. “I’m sorry,” he breathed, gently nipping at Lance’s neck, “Forgive me?”

Lance moaned in response and roughly grabbed JC’s head, pulling him away from his neck and finding his mouth. Their tongues wrestled and danced with each other as they fell onto the bed, their bare chests touching. JC rolled on top of Lance, pushing him down.

“I’m going to show you how much I love you,” JC said, his eyes filled with lust.

Lance looked into JC’s blue eyes, aflame with passion, and he knew he wasn’t going to argue.

JC kissed Lance’s temples, gently removing his glasses and setting them on the nightstand. He moved his soft kisses over Lance’s eyes, down his nose, and across his cheeks. His mouth briefly met Lance’s before moving on to his ear, his neck, his collarbone. He heard Lance sigh in pleasure and he smiled against his skin. JC moved lower on the bed, running his tongue along Lance’s smooth chest. He kissed around Lance’s nipples, careful not to touch them, but to tease him.

“Josh,” Lance moaned, running his hands along JC’s back. JC moved to his nipple, gently biting the bud and eliciting a small gasp from his lover. He flicked out his tongue moving it over Lance’s nipple, blowing gently on the wetness left behind. He moved yet lower, kissing down Lance’s chest, over his stomach. He gently bit at the skin around Lance’s belly button, causing Lance to laugh shortly.

His hands moved up and down Lance’s denim-covered legs, coming close to, but not touching his erection. He sat up and grinned at Lance as he moved his hands to Lance’s belt, slowly undoing the clasp. Lance smiled at him through hooded eyes and he unbuttoned Lance’s top button. JC looked down and groaned, “How many times do I have to tell you not to wear button fly jeans?” he asked, mocking Lance.

Lance laughed and reached down. In one fluid motion, he pulled his jeans open, the buttons popping out of their holes. JC grinned at him and worked his jeans over his hips, leaving Lance lying on the bed in white boxer briefs.

“White,” JC said, crawling up the bed to Lance, “how virginal.”

Lance grinned as JC’s lips covered his, “Not quite,” he whispered against his mouth.

JC moved back down Lance’s body, slowly, knowing what his tongue was doing to Lance. When he reached the waistband of Lance’s underwear, he slid one finger underneath, moving it back and forth. Lance thrust his hips up, in an unspoken command to JC. JC pulled the underwear off his lover’s body, exposing his hardness to the air.

JC wrapped a hand around Lance, and gently began to stroke him, watching Lance’s face. Lance moaned and closed his eyes, his mouth slightly parted. His head fell back on the pillows.

JC leaned over Lance and kissed his hipbone, gently sucking, causing Lance to wriggle underneath the assault. He trailed his kisses over until he was kissing the kinky hair around Lance’s crotch. Lance moaned his name softly as he blew on the head, licking away the salty precum that formed there. Suddenly, Lance cried out as the sensation of being inside JC’s warm mouth enveloped him. His hands found their way to JC’s head, his fingers running through the thick black hair.

JC’s tongue was expert, moving up and down Lance’s shaft, licking the head like an ice cream cone. His hand moved underneath Lance, toying with the warm sac underneath. Lance couldn’t keep his hips still as JC closed his mouth around one, his other hand working at Lance’s erection.

“God, Josh,” Lance moaned as JC returned his mouth to Lance’s erection. He sucked his breath in and actually felt JC’s mouth turn into a smile as he sucked on him. He moaned JC’s name again before he exploded into JC’s mouth. JC stayed where he was sucking him, licking him clean of all his juices.

Lance lay on the bed, his chest heaving, his hand still in JC’s hair. JC crossed his arms on Lance’s stomach and smiled up at Lance. “You okay?” he playfully asked.

Lance half opened his eyes and groaned, “Fine.” He lay his head back and took a deep breath. He opened his eyes again and looked at JC. “I want you.”

JC raised his eyebrows at Lance. “Really?” he asked, crawling up Lance’s body, his hands running gently along his skin. “Right now?” he asked.

“Right now,” Lance said, grabbing his hips and pulling him close. He kissed JC with a fervor that he had never known, tasting himself on his lovers’ tongue. His hands worked at JC’s belt, his button, his zipper until his jeans were open. Pushing them down JC’s body, he felt JC kick them off.

Without breaking the kiss, JC reached to the nightstand.

“No,” Lance said. “Let me.”

He surprised JC by picking him up and repositioning him underneath. His mind barely had time to register the change before Lance’s mouth was on him, and he was sucking in a breath. Lance’s head bobbed up and down, leaving behind a wet trail. His mouth was expert, and JC pulled him up.

“Baby, this isn’t going to last very long if you don’t stop.”

Lance grinned at him and captured his mouth with his own. JC rolled on top of Lance and positioned himself at his entrance. Moving slowly, he gently eased his head in, stopping for Lance to adjust. Lance’s nails scraped along his back and pulled him closer, and JC eased more of himself inside of Lance. Apparently deciding he didn’t want to wait for JC, Lance thrust his hips up, taking all of JC inside of him.

“Lance,” JC moaned, “God, you feel so good.” He began his rhythm, pumping slowly in and out of Lance.

“Josh,” Lance said, and his tone of voice caused JC to look down at him. “Fuck me.”

Those words coming from Lance’s lips turned JC on even more. His lips curled into a smile and he leaned down, crushing his kiss-swollen lips to Lance’s. Lance grabbed at JC’s head, pulling him more into the kiss and JC picked up his pace. Lance bucked his hips to meet JC, and JC broke away from the kiss to drop his head next to Lance’s shoulder, his hot breath coming out in short bursts on his neck.

Lance found himself getting hard again from the friction of JC’s body above him. His only thoughts were of how much he loved JC, how perfect they really were from each other. He heard JC’s breath quicken next to his ear, and he knew he was about to come.

“Josh, I love you,” Lance said.

JC sucked in a breath and felt himself release inside of Lance. His body jerked with a spasm before collapsing on Lance, his breathing heavy.

“How do you do that?” He whispered into Lance’s ear, his hand gently pushing his hair off his face.

“Do what?” Lance asked, kissing the side of JC’s face.

“You always tell me you love me right before I come. It’s as if you know what that does to me.”

Lance smiled at him, “I guess I’m just psychic.”

*****

They lay in each other’s arms, JC on Lance’s chest, Lance’s arm around his shoulders.

“Baby?” JC asked quietly.

“Mhmm?” Lance responded sleepily.

“Do you really watch me when I sleep?”

Lance opened his eyes and looked down at the top of JC’s head. “Joey tell you that?” he asked dryly.

JC nodded against his chest, his palm running up and down Lance’s body.

“Yeah, I do.”

“Why?”

“Cause you do it so well,” Lance teased. JC lightly slapped his stomach and Lance laughed. “Honestly, I do it because it’s the one time I know you’re safe with me. I know when you’re asleep, no one can get to you, no one can take you away from me.”

JC turned to Lance, propping his head on his chin. “You really worry about losing me, don’t you?” he asked gently.

Lance looked him in the eyes, “Yeah.” His gaze flickered away, “It’s my greatest fear.”

JC leaned up and kissed him, “I’m not going anywhere. So, you can go back to listing flying as your greatest fear.”

Lance laughed and JC was pleased to hear the deep rumble from his chest. They laughed together, easing away the pain of the fight they had hours earlier.

“Oh, lovebirds?” a voice came from the doorway.

Lance groaned and JC grinned, “Didn’t we close the door?”

They looked to the door to see Joey leaning against the door jab, grinning, a set of keys dangling from his hand. “I know y’all are in love and everything. But next time, could you please remember to remove the keys from the door before you begin your little love fest? I have some important stuff in this house.”

CHAPTER SIX

“Josh! Hey, Josh!”

Justin looked up from his stretching as the voice reverberated across the gym, the sound echoing off the hardwood floors and the wooden bleachers that were tucked away in the walls. He nudged JC, who was sitting next to him, reaching for his feet.

“That kid is calling you,” he said.

JC looked up, his legs out in front of him, his hands on his feet, “No, he’s calling that guy.” Justin followed JC’s finger to see a tall guy with blonde hair standing next to the coach.

“His name is Josh?” Justin asked, pulling his legs closer to him, Indian style.

JC nodded, “Yeah. When I joined the team, there was already a Josh. So they wouldn’t get confused, the coach started calling me JC.” He shrugged, “It just stuck, I guess. No one calls me Josh anymore.”

“Except for Lance,” Justin pointed out.

JC smiled softly, “Except for Lance. And my family. Everyone else knows not to call me Josh.”

Justin stopped his stretching and pulled his knees to his chest. Looking at JC, he asked, “Why is Lance able to get away with it?”

JC grinned, “Because he’s Lance.”

Justin laughed, “Okay, I guess.” He changed the subject, “So, I didn’t get a chance to talk to you at your party on Friday, damn, Joey invited a lot of people!” JC nodded and Justin continued, “I saw you and Lance, though. I take it everything turned out okay?”

JC stood when the coach moved towards the center of the floor, “Everything’s better than okay. We had a long talk, worked out some things.” He stopped and crossed his arms over his chest, “He told me some things that I didn’t know.” Justin cocked his head and waited to see if JC would tell him. “Like that he’s terrified that I’m going to leave him.” JC shook his head and made a face, “As if I would leave him. He’s made me happier than I’ve ever been.”

Justin put a hand on his arm, “Anyone can see that, JC. I’m glad you worked things out.”

JC grinned, “Me too. So, when do you start your new job?”

Justin smiled happily, “I don’t know, he didn’t say. I’m going to go to the office tomorrow morning and find out.”

JC looked at Justin, all traces of laughter gone. “Just, be careful, okay? I know you’re confused about what you’re feeling, and that’s just going to set you up for heartache. Remember he’s still your teacher, and that’s against the rules.”

Justin crossed his eyes at JC, “Rules are made to be broken,” he grinned and turned his attention to the coach.

*****

The alarm clock went off, and Chris reached out a hand to silence it. He stayed in bed, almost missing the sound of Danny’s voice yelling up the stairs to him. Almost.

It was taking some time, getting used to the fact that he once again lived alone. He never realized his house was so big, so empty, with no one to talk to. He had come home that day Danny moved out and was surprised to see all his stuff gone. Danny must have taken the day off of work to pack his things. Chris was taken aback to see he didn’t leave a note, a message, anything telling him where he would be. Oh well, it’s for the best, he told himself. He really did hate hurting Danny like that, but Chris knew that he would be happier in the long run.

He finally rolled over and got out of bed. Moving towards the bathroom, Chris found his thoughts drifting to his nine o’clock class. That’s the class that Justin Timberlake was in. He smiled at the thought of the young man, knowing it was wrong to be thinking about his student in this light, but doing it anyway.

His picture jumped easily into Chris’s mind, and Chris found he didn’t want to erase it. He smiled as he went about his morning routine, thinking of Justin, making mental lists on what he could have him do now that he was working for him.

Which was a bad idea, by the way. He shook his head against his inner voice. The voice had been talking to him nonstop every time the thought of Justin came into his mind. Which, if he had to admit, was pretty often this past weekend. He never should have offered him the job. This could only lead to a bad situation. Chris knew he would be able to control himself, he had to, his job would be on the line if he did anything about this growing attraction. But would he be able to control his eyes as they settled on the frame of the young man as he say, filed something for him? Would he be able to control his mind when it led in the direction of impure thoughts? Probably not, but that’s what made life exciting, right?

Chris moved down the stairs, pausing momentarily in the kitchen to grab an apple, and went into the garage to his car. He drove quickly to work, for once eager to start his day. He needed to talk to Justin and figure out when he could start working, and fix a schedule for him.

He rode the elevator to his floor with another colleague, who was talking about the new basketball season. Chris nodded politely as the other man spoke.

“Coach Andrews tells me that we have a pretty good chance this year,” he was saying. “That Chasez kid is back, and there’s a transfer student who’s new on the team, and Coach had practice yesterday,” the Professor shook his head, “He said it was like Chasez and Timberlake had been playing together for years.” Chris’s head snapped towards the professor when he mentioned Justin’s name. “He said they could read each other like no one he’s ever seen before. We may have a chance!”

Chris interrupted the other teacher, “Timberlake?”

The guy nodded, “Yeah, he transferred this year from Tennessee or something. I don’t know his first name.”

“Justin,” Chris supplied.

The teacher looked at him. “You know him?”

Chris nodded, “Yeah, he’s in one of my classes. I just hired him as my assistant. I didn’t know he was on the team. Maybe it’s not the same Timberlake.”

The other professor laughed, “How many Timberlake’s do you think there are?”

Chris shrugged, “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” He went back to tuning the Professor out as the doors opened on their floor. He was already thinking of how he was going to start going to the basketball games without his reasoning behind it coming to light. His mind was on Justin in the basketball uniform – the sleeveless jersey, showing off his biceps, the mesh shorts, low on his hips – when he turned the corner to his office, and saw him sitting outside the door.

He was sitting on the bench, much like when he first came to the office, his eyes downcast, reading an open textbook in his lap, his head propped up on his elbow, which was resting on his knee. Chris’s gaze traveled to his profile, smiling slightly when he saw Justin’s lips moving as he read, his brow wrinkled in concentration. His hair was uncovered today, the golden curls forming a halo around his head.

“Morning, Justin,” Chris said as he got closer.

Justin looked up, startled. When he saw it was Chris, his face broke out in a grin. “Morning, Professor.” He closed the book and stood, looking at his watch, “You’re late this morning.”

Chris grinned as he stepped around him, moving to unlock his office door. “I didn’t know you were waiting for me.”

Justin shrugged as he followed him in the office. “I figured I’d stop by before class to talk about my new job.” He sat on one of the chairs and looked around. Smiling wryly at Chris, he said, “Looks like my first order of business will be to clean.”

Chris sat in his chair and looked offended, “Hey! I know exactly where everything is,” he protested.

Justin nodded, “Sure you do. But if I’m going to be your assistant, don’t I also need to know where everything is?”

Chris held his gaze for a minute before looking away. “I’m sure you’ll manage.”

Justin nodded, “I’m sure I will too. Especially when I clean this place.” He sat back, propping one foot on the edge of the desk, “So, when can I start?”

Chris opened his hands, “When do you want to start?”

Justin met his gaze, “Right away.”

Chris looked away from the piercing blue eyes and took a deep breath. Jesus, this kid wasn’t going to make this easy, was he? “Okay,” he said, pulling out a piece of paper. “Let’s make a schedule.”

Justin dropped his foot to the floor and leaned closer to the desk. “I have basketball practice every afternoon,” he said, “I hope that’s not a problem.”

“No, not at all,” Chris said.

Justin sighed in relief, “Good. I really want this job. I can’t wait to start.”

Chris looked up at his tone of voice. “Really?” he asked in disbelief.

Justin smiled at him. “Really.”

Chris raised his eyebrows, “Well, I can use the help. I’m not the most organized person there is.”

Justin leaned forward, his elbows on the desk, “Don’t worry, Professor, I’ll take care of it. This will be a different place now that I’m around.”

Chris didn’t look up as he muttered to himself, “It sure will be.”

CHAPTER SEVEN

“Hey kid,” Chris looked up as Justin entered the office.

Justin made a face, “I’m not a kid,” he grinned as he set his backpack on the ground.

Chris raised his eyebrows, “Compared to me, you’re a kid.”

Justin flopped onto one of the office chairs, “Whatever. You’re like, what? Twenty five?”

Chris laughed, “Thanks, kid.” He rolled his eyes, “try twenty-eight.”

Justin rolled his eyes, “Yeah, you’re an old man.” He leaned forward and pulled his backpack closer to him. Opening it, he pulled out a bottle of water and took a drink.

Chris watched him drink, envying the bottle that was raised to his lips. He finished half the bottle before pulling it away and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “God, I’m beat,” he said, slumping in the chair. Looking up at Chris, he continued, “Coach was seriously crazy today. I’m surprised I can still walk.”

“Too tired to clean?” he grinned at him.

Justin looked around the office. If possible, the mess had gotten worse since the day before. “This is gonna kill me.”

Chris laughed as he stood, gathering papers in his arms. “Hand me my briefcase, will ya?” he asked Justin. Justin lifted it off the floor and set it on the desk. Opening it and putting the papers inside, Chris spoke to Justin. “I have a night class tonight, so I’ll be out of the office for three hours.”

Justin stood, “Do you want me to go?”

Chris looked at him, and noticed the sweat trickling down his neck. Swallowing hard he shook his head. “No, why would I want you to go?”

Justin shrugged, “Well, if you’re not here...”

“Oh please, like there’s anything in here you can’t see,” Chris closed the briefcase and looked up to see Justin sitting on the edge of the desk, leaning close. Very close.

“Are our tests in here?” he asked.

Chris took a step back, flustered, “Tests? Yeah, um, they’re locked up, though, and you don’t have the key.”

Justin snapped his finger, “Damn!” he said, grinning.

Chris nervously glanced at his watch. Why was this kid making him nervous? For God sakes, he was acting like a schoolgirl with a crush! “Look, I’ve got to go.” He moved to the door, Justin watching him from his perch on the desk, “I’ll be back after my class, but you can go whenever you’re done. Just lock the door behind you.”

Justin nodded in understanding. “Have a nice class, Professor,” he smiled.

Chris licked his lips, “Yeah, thanks.” He stepped in the hallway and leaned against the wall. “Bad idea,” he muttered to himself, shaking his head, “Hiring that kid was a bad idea.”

*****

Justin watched his professor leave the room, and allowed himself a smile. He rattled him. There was definitely some feeling beneath the surface if he rattled him. He turned to the phone and dialed JC’s number.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Joey,” Justin said into the phone. “What’s up?”

“Justin, what’s going on, man? Haven’t seen you since Friday.”

Justin grinned, “Joey, you barely saw me on Friday! Damn you know a lot of people.”

Joey laughed, “Yeah, it’s tough being so popular.”

Justin rolled his eyes, “I’m sure it is,” he said dryly. “Is JC around?”

“He’s here somewhere, but I think he’s in the shower.” Joey must have put something in his mouth, because the sounds of crunching came over the line. “Would you like to talk to Lance?” he asked. “That is, if he’s not in the shower with JC.” Joey laughed at his own joke.

Justin closed his eyes, “That is not a visual I needed, Joe.”

He heard Lance in the background, “Who’s on the phone?”

Joey answered him and then spoke to Justin. “Well, he’s here and he’s dry. Hang on.” He heard Joey talking to Lance before Lance came on the line.

“Hey Justin,” he greeted him, “What did Joey mean, I’m dry?”

Justin shook his head, “You really don’t want to know, trust me.”

“You’re probably right. So, what’s up?”

Justin was suddenly shy. He had called to talk to JC, and instead he was talking to Lance. Which was okay, except he and Lance weren’t as close as he and JC were. He knew JC would be able to give him advice without laughing at him. He didn’t want to talk to Joey, cause Joey would probably have just told him to jump on his Professor and think about the consequences later.

“Justin?” Lance asked, “are you still there?”

Justin shook himself out of his thoughts. “Yeah. Actually, I called to talk to JC. Joey just put me on with you.”

“He does that. I don’t think he realizes we’re not the same person.” Lance’s voice lowered, “Joey’s not the sharpest nail in the box.”

“I heard that!” Joey shouted in the background. “Just because I’m not a nerd doesn’t mean I’m not smart!”

“I am not a nerd,” Lance muttered to Joey.

Justin interrupted him. “Listen, as much as I’d like to listen to the two of you fight, I’m actually supposed to be working.”

There was a smile in Lance’s voice. “That’s right, you started today, Josh told me about it. How’s it going?”

Justin shrugged, “Alright I guess. I just got here.”

“Why don’t you stop by when you’re done? Josh hasn’t eaten yet because of practice, and I’m assuming you didn’t either. Joey is like a human pit, so he’ll be hungry. We’ll order a pizza and you can tell us all about it.”

Justin contemplated it. It would give him a chance to talk to JC, plus he could avoid going back to his room and his annoying roommate. “Okay, that sounds good. I’ll call you before I’m going to leave to let you know I’m on my way.”

“Cool. See ya!” Lance waited for Justin to say good-bye before he hung up the phone.

Justin set the receiver down and picked up his water. He thoughtfully took a sip as he glanced around the office. This place was a mess. He grinned to himself, Professor Kirkpatrick said he knew exactly where everything was, but somehow, Justin doubted that. He stood up, his hands on his hips and tried to figure out where to start.

Looking at the desk, he dove right in.

An hour later, he was still cleaning the desk. Of course, he had stopped for about a fifteen minutes to look through his professor’s Rolodex. And then stopped to look through the papers he was grading, hoping to find some clue as to what he got on his last paper. And then stopped to look at a picture he found in one of the drawers.

Pulling out a photo, he sat down in the chair. It was of Prof. Kirkpatrick, and he had his arm around another guy. Turning it over, Justin saw the words ‘me and Danny, June, 99.’ Turning it back over, he picked apart this Danny character.

He was taller than the Professor, but not by much. “Not as tall as me,” Justin muttered. His hair was blonde and the wind must have been blowing, because it fell into his eyes. They were at a beach and he was wearing a sleeveless shirt over a pair of swim trunks. Justin’s gaze roamed his body, and he smiled, knowing he was built better than this guy. He was wearing sunglasses, so Justin couldn’t see the color of his eyes, but his smile was wide and inviting.

Justin pushed aside his feelings of jealousy and looked at his Professor. He immediately laughed out loud. He was wearing a Nike visor to keep the sun out of his eyes, and he had on a brightly colored Hawaiian shirt. His shorts were long, to his knees, and they were the brightest orange Justin had ever seen. But what made him laugh was the sunblock he had on his nose. It was pink.

“They look happy,” Justin muttered. “Bastard.” He grinned at his stupidity and wondered why the picture was in the desk drawer. “Maybe it’s not his boyfriend,” he reasoned. “Maybe it’s his brother.” He resisted the urge to call Lance to find out what he knew and studied the picture again. No, it wasn’t his brother, they didn’t look anything alike. “So, why is it in the desk and not on top of the desk?” he muttered.

“Okay, Timberlake, this is none of your business,” he said, setting the picture aside. He went back to the task of cleaning up the office. But he found his eye wandering to the picture sitting on the corner of the desk every couple minutes.

Suddenly the door opened and Justin jumped, startled at the noise.

Professor Kirkpatrick smiled at him. “Sorry, kid, didn’t mean to scare you. We’re taking a break, so I thought I’d come see how you were doing.”

Justin smiled brightly. “Fine.” He motioned to the desk. “I’m finished with the desk.”

His professor swept his gaze to the desk, and smiled. His eyes fell on the picture lying on top and his smile froze on his face. “Where did you get that?” he asked tersely.

Justin shook his head, “It was in one of the drawers. I’m sorry, I must have forgotten to put it back.”

The Professors gaze was locked on the picture, his jaw muscles clenched. “Why were you looking in my drawers?” he asked.

Justin moved his mouth, but nothing came out. He licked his lips and cleared his throat. “I wasn’t going through them,” he managed to get out. “I was putting something away, and I found it.” Prof. Kirkpatrick’s brown eyes flicked to him, and Justin took a step back. “I’m sorry,” he offered.

"For what?” he asked, shaking his head and trying to smile.

“For going in your drawers,” Justin said, wondering what the hell was going on.

His professor took a deep breath. “It’s okay, it just took me by surprise. I had forgotten that was here.”

Justin studied him. “Are you alright?”

He nodded, “Yeah.” He looked Justin in the eyes, “I guess you figured out that I’m gay?” he asked quietly.

Justin gave him a lopsided smile. “I knew that before I started working here.”

Surprise flickered in his Professor’s eyes. “You did?”

Justin shrugged, “Yeah, a friend of mine had told me.” He motioned to the photo. “Is he your boyfriend?” Justin realized what he asked a second after it came out of his mouth. “God, don’t answer that,” he apologized, “It’s none of my business.” He began to gather up his stuff. “Look, I’m sorry for everything, maybe it’s better if I go for tonight. I’ll be back tomorrow after practice. Good night.”

He was at the door when he heard his Professor talk. “Ex-boyfriend, Justin.” Justin turned at his words. Brown eyes met blue and his Professor spoke softly. “Ex-boyfriend.”

Justin was locked in his gaze. They stood, the teacher and the student, the old man and the kid, and both of them smiled.

CHAPTER EIGHT

That smile. The way the corners of his mouth pulled up, the way his eyes crinkled shut as the smile widened across his face.

It was all he could think about.

As he nodded and backed out of the office.

As he walked to the elevator.

As he started across campus, heading towards JC’s apartment.

As he stood in line at the pizza place because he realized that he’d forgotten to call, and Joey was probably chewing his arm off in hunger, so he better stop on the way.

As he rang the doorbell to JC’s.

As the door opened and JC stood on the other side.

Justin’s face broke into a wide grin. “He wants me.”

JC stepped back and allowed Justin to enter, a confused smile on his face. “What?”

Justin walked in front of JC into the living room and put the pizza box into Joey’s waiting hands. He nodded at Lance who was lying on the couch. Turning to JC, he repeated, “He wants me.”

“Who wants you?” Joey asked around a mouthful of pizza.

“Professor Kirkpatrick,” Justin replied, sitting down on the floor and reaching for a slice of pizza.

Joey choked on his food. “What? You’re seriously going after your teacher?” He shook his head, “Even I never did that.”

“That’s because you know your teachers’ standards are way too high for you to ever score,” Lance told him.

JC moved from the doorway to sit next to Lance on the couch. Lance lifted his legs for him, dropping them onto his lap when he sat down. “How do you know he wants you?” JC asked, steering the conversation away from yet another fight. “What happened?”

Justin replayed the conversation for his friends. His blue eyes were bright, and he couldn’t keep the excited smile off his face.

“He made a point to tell me that this guy was his ex-boyfriend,” Justin grinned, “he didn’t have to. He could have let me walk out of that office and never told me. But he didn’t! I was at the door, ready to walk out when he stopped me. He wanted me to know. That means something, right?” He turned to JC, hope in his eyes.

JC unconsciously played with the fine hair on Lance’s legs as he answered Justin. “Sure,” he said hesitantly, “I guess it means something.”

“You guess?” Justin repeated. “Of course it does, Jace! You should have been there, then you would believe me.” He took a bite of his pizza as he looked at JC.

“It’s not that I don’t believe you Justin,” JC said, sighing, “It’s just, I don’t want you reading more into this than he means.”

Justin put the slice of pizza on the lid of the box and turned his full attention on JC. Shaking his head, he narrowed his eyes. “Why are you being like this? Why can’t you just say, ‘hey, maybe he does want you?’”

JC shrugged and sat back, “Maybe he does, I don’t know.”

“Then why can’t you let me be happy thinking he does?”

“Because it’s only going to lead to trouble,” JC reasoned.

Justin threw up his hands in exasperation, “God, JC, will you let it go?”

JC pushed Lance’s legs off his lap and sat forward. “Do you want to get hurt, Justin? Is that it? Do you want to get your heart broken? Because that’s what’s going to happen if you keep this up! It’s not going to turn out the way you want it to.”

Justin stood and looked down at JC. It was as if they were the only two people in the room, Lance and Joey were forgotten about. Wisely, they decided to stay out of this conversation.

“How do you know that, JC? Huh? How do you know I’m going to get hurt? Maybe I won’t! Maybe things will turn out,” Justin glared at JC.

JC shook his head, “God, Justin, will you listen to yourself? Just last week, you weren’t even sure that you liked guys! And now, all of a sudden you’re head over heels for your Professor! Forgetting about the fact that he’s ten years older than you are, he’s your teacher! That’s not allowed, Justin! I shouldn’t have to tell you that! Plus, you don’t even know what you really want!”

Justin interrupted JC and pointed a finger at him. “Don’t you tell me what I really want, JC, you have no idea!”

JC stood and faced Justin, “you’re right, I don’t. But neither do you!”

Justin took a step closer, and Joey and Lance exchanged wary looks. Joey set down his pizza and watched Justin carefully, ready if Justin was going to do something stupid.

“I know what I want, JC,” Justin said through gritted teeth, his hands clenched into fists at his side.

JC crossed his arms over his chest and studied Justin, “Oh really? And when did you figure it all out, J? Psych class?”

Justin raised his arm and Joey was off the floor like a shot, grabbing a hold of him. Lance stood and pulled on JC’s arm, dragging him a few steps back from Justin.

“Let go of me, Joey,” Justin said. “I’m not going to hit him.” Justin shrugged his arm out of Joey’s grip and turned again to JC. His eyes were now defeated, the sparkle replaced with disappointment. “You know,” he said hoarsely, “of all people, I expected you to understand.” He shook his head at JC one last time and turned to the door. Without saying another word, he let himself out of the house.

*****

JC closed his eyes as he heard the door shut. He dropped his head to his chest and took in a shaky breath.

“You okay, Josh?” Lance asked him quietly, his hand still on his arm.

JC shook his head, “No.” He looked at Lance, “I should have understood, Lance. I’ve been there. I don’t know why I just did that.”

Lance shrugged, “You’re just worried about him, that’s all. You’re right, he’s setting himself up for heartbreak.”

JC moved to the couch, “But now wasn’t the time to tell him that! God, he was so happy when he got here, why couldn’t I have just saved the lecture for another time?”

Joey grinned, “Because then you wouldn’t be JC.”

“Joey, leave him alone,” Lance said, sitting next to JC on the couch.

JC shook his head, “He’s right, Lance. I always do that. I never let anyone have any fun unless I make sure they think about the consequences.”

Lance glared at Joey above JC’s head, “That’s not true, Josh. You’re just looking out for your friends. Although, this may not have been the right time,” he admitted.

Joey reached for another slice of pizza. “Lance is right, JC. You’re not that bad. Even if he’s pissed, at least maybe Justin will think about the downside to this situation.” Joey shrugged, “although, if you ask me the downside is that he wants a guy.” He was silenced by two pillows from the couch hitting him in the side of the face.

*****

Justin walked back to campus, his strides long and angry. How dare JC! How dare he try to ruin this for him! Of all people, Justin thought JC would help him through this, help him understand the thoughts that were running through his head.

He and JC had never talked about how Lance and JC got together, but from the little bits and pieces Justin heard, he assumed it was not the easiest beginning in the world. He knew Joey said that JC had a girlfriend when he met Lance, so Justin knew that JC recently discovered that he was gay.

And now Justin was having these feelings towards Professor Kirkpatrick, and he had no one to turn to. He had thought he could go to JC, but apparently, JC was just going to give him the same speech every time he brought of his Professor’s name. Joey was no help at all, Justin had seen him flirting with the girls and there was no way in hell that boy was anything but straight. So that left Lance.

Justin took the steps to the campus two at a time as he thought about Lance. He didn’t know, but assumed that Lance had pretty much always known he was gay. There was never any mention of a girlfriend before JC. So would he be able to help Justin in this situation? Justin shrugged to himself, sure he would. There had to have been a time when Lance questioned why he didn’t like women, right? Justin shook his head as he moved to the dorm. He couldn’t go to Lance. Lance was JC’s boyfriend for God’s sake. That would just be a bad situation to put Lance in. He didn’t want him to have to choose helping Justin over being loyal to what JC was feeling. Nevermind the fact that Justin knew who Lance would choose.

He ran up the stairs to his floor and walked down the hallway to his room, clearing his mind of his thoughts. He had to get through this on his own, there was no way around it. But right now, he had to deal with whatever his roommate was up to, and that would take all his effort.

Justin put his key in the lock and opened his door. His roommate wasn’t in, but he couldn’t have been gone too long because there was still smoke lingering in the air. And it didn’t smell like cigarettes, either.

“Shit!” Justin cursed. His roommate was smoking pot in their room. “And it’s supposed to be a non-smoking room,” Justin muttered. “That’s it, I’m out of here.” He pulled his duffel bag down from the shelf in the closet and began stuffing clothes into it.

Taking enough for the night and his classes and practice the next day, he pulled his books into his backpack and walked out of the room. Halfway down the hall, he stopped. Where did he think he was going? He had planned on going to JC’s, but now that may be a problem. He leaned against the wall as he thought about the situation. There was no way he was going to stay in that room, that much was certain.

He had no choice. He began walking to the stairwell, rehearsing his apology to JC in his mind.

*****

This time, the door was opened by Lance.

“Justin,” he said, surprised, “what are you doing here?”

Justin kicked at a rock on the porch with the toe of his sneaker as he answered. “Can I stay here tonight? My roommate was smoking pot in our room, and it stinks.”

Lance stepped back, allowing Justin to enter. “Sure, stay as long as you want. Josh and I share a room, so there’s an extra bed.”

Justin nodded, his gaze on the floor. “Thanks.”

Lance shut the door and turned the deadbolt before facing Justin. “Look, Josh went to bed already, do you want to talk?” Justin’s eyes met Lance’s and Lance smiled at the shock on his face. He grinned as he led the way to the kitchen. “Believe it or not, Josh is sorry for the way he acted. He just gets really protective, you know?”

Justin dropped his bags at the bottom of the steps before following Lance into the kitchen. Sitting at the table, he watched Lance move towards the fridge. “Yeah, I know. I said some things I shouldn’t have said either.”

Lance set a glass of soda in front of Justin and pulled out the chair across from him. “Like what?” Justin glanced up, a question in his eyes. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Josh was out of line.”

A look of shock passed Justin’s handsome features. “You think he was wrong?”

Lance shrugged, “Sure. His timing isn’t all that great, I’ll admit it. But when he gets on a roll, there ain’t no stopping him.”

Justin grinned, “Yeah, I gathered that.”

Lance sighed, “He’s just worried about you, Justin. He knows what it’s like to all of a sudden have feelings for a guy, he went through the same thing.” Lance took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “He understands what you’re thinking, although it took him a lot longer to realize it than it has taken you.”

“I know what I want, Lance,” Justin said softly.

Lance opened his eyes and nodded, “I’m sure you do. But you have to be careful. This thing you have for Professor Kirkpatrick, it’s not good, Justin. There are rules against that sort of thing. And you’re not helping the situation by working for him.”

Justin slammed his hand on the table. “Why does everyone feel the need to lecture me tonight? God, why can’t I just be happy?”

Lance shook his head, “Justin, I’m not lecturing you, I’m just telling you to be careful.”

Justin’s blue eyes blazed, “I’m not a child. I can take care of myself.”

Lance stood, picking his glasses off the table and moving towards the hallway. “I know you can, Justin. Just,” he sighed, “think things through. Don’t jump into anything right away. Please. At least think about the consequences.” He turned to the doorway, “Good night.”

Justin didn’t reply to Lance, and he heard him moving up the stairs and down the hallway. He stared at his half empty glass of soda and wondered if Lance was right.

“He’s right, you know,” a voice said, causing him to jump.

Justin rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Not you, too.”

Joey grinned and moved into the kitchen. “Nah, lecturing isn’t my style, I leave that to the lovebirds.” He pulled out a chair and turned it backwards, straddling it as he sat down. “So, tell me about this guy.”

The corner of Justin’s lip pulled up into a half-grin. “Why?”

Joey shrugged, “Well, there seems to be some kind of attraction there. Is he a nice guy, or am I gonna have to kick his ass for being a prick?”

Justin laughed and immediately felt better. “No, he’s a nice guy. He’s young, only twenty-eight, and he seems to want to have a good time.”

Joey snorted, “Then what’s he doing here?”

Justin shrugged, “I have no idea. When we’re in class, he seems almost bored, like the walls are too confining. He’s constantly looking out the window, constantly moving around. He should make us sit in a circle, so we don’t crane our necks trying to follow him.”

Joey grinned, “You should tell him that.”

“Maybe I will,” Justin said with an impish smile. “I really like him, Joey.”

Joey nodded thoughtfully, “I know, I can tell. Your whole face lights up.” He sighed dramatically, “I lost another one to the dark side.”

Justin cocked his head, “What are you talking about?”

“You. You’ve joined forces with the lovebirds. What is it with them? Do they give off some kind of weird radar that you pick up on?” Joey crossed his arms on the back of the chair. “It’s Lance, isn’t it? He’s like the dark king, sending out secret signals to poor unsuspecting victims.” He puffed out his chest, “I guess I’m too manly to be affected.”

Justin laughed, “Yeah, that’s it, Joe.” He stood, “I’m going to bed. Thanks, Joey.”

Joey nodded, “Anytime, Justin.” He turned serious, “Don’t let them get to you,” he advised. “They do mean well.”

“I know they do.”

“They just don’t remember what it’s like to fall in love. They’ve moved on to that blissfully happy, hopelessly devoted stage.” Joey shook his head, “JC was exactly where you are right now, and he didn’t listen to anyone’s advice, either. Except mine, of course.”

Justin leaned against the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest. “And what did you tell him?”

Joey smiled at Justin, “I told him the same thing I’m going to tell you. Follow your heart. That’s the one thing in the world you can trust.”

CHAPTER NINE

Chris opened the door connecting his garage to his house and stormed through it, dropping his briefcase on the floor and flipping on the lights as his hand came back up. He shrugged out of his coat as he strode down the short hallway to the room he called his study, leaving it lie where it fell on the floor. Turning on the light on the desk, he sat behind it, pulling open drawers searching frantically for the object he so desperately needed.

“Where the hell is it?” he muttered. Not finding it in his drawers, he stood, loosening his tie and running a hand through his disheveled hair. The whole drive home he’d been thinking about where he placed the book, and he was so sure it was in his desk drawer, right underneath the folder containing the various syllabi for his classes.

Stepping away from his desk, he moved towards the bookshelves he built between the windows. Turning his head sideways, he scanned the titles. Crouching down, he read the titles closer to the floor, telling himself he knew it wasn’t in the bookshelf.

Standing, he moved into the kitchen, opening the fridge and taking out a bottle of beer. Unscrewing the cap, he raised the bottle to his lips, taking a long swallow. He covered the mouth of the bottle with his thumb and took the steps leading to his bedroom two at a time. Hurriedly moving down the hall, he entered the bedroom, noting that he really needed to clean up a bit, and set the bottle on the dresser. He undressed and changed into a pair of flannel pants and an old gray tee shirt. He forced himself to take a deep breath, and he stood in the middle of the room, eyes closed, hands on hips, thinking.

“I never even read it,” he said outloud. “Where did I put it?” He bit his lip and concentrated, and suddenly the light bulb came on, and he rushed out of the room, making sure to grab his beer on his way.

Back down the steps, through the kitchen, through the dining room, passing by the study and into the living room. Moving towards the entertainment center, he opened one of the drawers underneath the television. Pushing aside the Play Station games, his hands made contact with the thin book.

“Yes!” he said. He remembered he bought the Play Station the same day he got his job. Throwing the book in with the games seemed like a good idea at the time.

Sitting cross-legged on the floor, he thumbed through the pages, scanning the titles under the table of contents. Finding the page he wanted, he turned to it, taking another drink of the beer before beginning to read.

The bottle was finished by the time he got done reading the three short paragraphs, and Chris felt like he needed another.

“Shit,” he said. He didn’t know why he was surprised, he knew it had to be against some kind of rule. The little voice in the back of his mind was trying to tell him that if it weren’t in print, he really wouldn’t be breaking any rules.

But there it was. In plain English. Any fraternization outside of the school environment was strictly prohibited. This included dating. If caught, it would lead to disciplinary action, up to and including termination for the professor, and expulsion for the student.

Of course, the teacher’s handbook used a lot bigger words, but Chris got the general drift of what it was saying.

Justin Timberlake was off limits.

Which he knew, of course before he even read the handbook. He had known he couldn’t date one of his students. But just this once, he wanted to break that rule. Just this once, he wanted to know what it would feel like to run his hands through the golden curls, feel the student’s breath on his skin a split second before their lips touched. Just this once.

One time wouldn’t be so bad, would it?

*****

Chris looked up and surpressed the feeling that coursed through him as Justin entered the office. “Hey kid,” he offered as a greeting.

Chris grinned as Justin rolled his eyes. “I’m not a kid,” he said, grinning back, giving up his usual response.

Chris studied Justin as he moved towards the chair in front of the desk. He was wearing another one of his bandanas, this one blue. His Nike sweatshirt was too big on him, the sleeves ending slightly below his fingertips, the material hanging off his body. Chris watched him sit down, bringing one jean-clad leg up, and resting his foot on the edge of the desk in what was becoming a familiar gesture. He heard Justin sigh and moved his gaze back to his face.

Taking in the bags under his eyes, the tiredness that radiated from his posture, and the presence of the bandanna, which Chris noticed Justin wore when he was in a hurry, he said. “You look like shit.”

Justin looked up at him, surprised. After a beat, he laughed. “Thanks a lot.”

Chris shrugged, pushing aside the paperwork in front of him. “Well, you do. Something happen?”

Justin shifted uncomfortably in the chair, dropping his foot off the desk and bouncing his leg. “No,” he said shortly.

Chris held back his smile and pulled a paper closer to him. “Okay.” Justin sighed shortly once. Then he shifted in the chair and sighed again. Chris looked up. “You can sit there and sigh all day, Justin, or you can tell me what happened. You never know, maybe I can help.” Justin muttered something that Chris didn’t quite catch. “What was that?”

Justin ducked his head and played with the seam of his jeans. “Nothing,” he muttered. And then he opened his mouth and unleashed the torrent. “It’s just, I kind of had a fight with a friend of mine last night, then I get back to my room and my roommate was smoking something, and it’s not even a smoking room, and it wasn’t anything legal, and then I go back to my friends house to spend the night, and I couldn’t’ sleep because I had a million things running through my mind, and I had to get up early, and it was colder than I thought it was going to be outside, and I didn’t have a sweatshirt so I had to borrow Joey’s which is something like ten sizes too big on me, but I didn’t want to interrupt JC and Lance this morning to see if Lance had a sweatshirt...”

Chris held up a hand and interrupted Justin. “Jesus, kid, will you stop?”

Justin looked up at him, “What?”

Chris laughed, “That was one hell of a run on sentence, and I ain’t even an English teacher!” Justin laughed briefly at him and Chris was warmed by the sound. “Start at the beginning. You had a fight with your friend? What about?”

Justin looked away from him. “I can’t really tell you.”

“Why not?”

He refused to meet his eyes, “It’s kind of personal. I don’t really want to get into it right now.”

Chris opened his arms, palms raised. “Okay, moving on. Your roommate.”

Justin sighed heavily. “He’s some kind of druggie, and last night the room smelled like pot. So, I didn’t want to stay there. So, I went back to JC’s house. He’s the friend I had a fight with,” he added, looking up at Chris. Chris nodded and Justin sighed. “But, he was already in bed, but Lance decided he wanted to talk to me, and he said he wasn’t lecturing, but he was.” Justin smiled at Chris, “He was just a little subtler than JC was. And then I talked with Joey, who actually said somethings that made sense, but,” he shook his head, “This problem I’m having, it’s not good. It can only lead to trouble.”

Chris sat back in his chair, “I know the feeling,” he said. “I seem to be having the same problem lately.”

Justin raised his head and met Chris’s eyes. “Really?” he asked softly. “What are you going to do?”

Chris wondered if Justin knew what his problem was. The kid was looking at him with an almost pleading look on his face, as if the answer to Chris’s problem could be the answer to his own. Chris didn’t dare to hope that were true.

“I don’t know,” Chris answered, just as softly. His eyes didn’t leave Justin’s as he continued. “If I do what I want, I risk something pretty big. If I don’t, I may miss out on something really great.”

Justin nodded, “That’s my problem, too.”

Somehow, Chris felt Justin knew exactly what his problem was. And somehow, Chris felt they had more in common than he dared to hope. They were silent for a minute, their gazes not wavering from each other. Chris took in the crystal blue color of Justin’s eyes and smiled as he saw they were the exact color of the one set of sheets he had.

Making a mental note to change his sheets, Chris cleared his throat. “So, anyway. Who are these guys? JC, Lance and Joey? You pretty close to them?”

Justin shrugged, slumping further in his seat, making himself more comfortable. “Yeah, I guess. JC and I play ball together.”

“Is that Chasez?” Chris asked.

Justin nodded, “Yeah, do you know him?”

Chris shook his head, “No. I head another professor talking about you guys in the elevator the other day.”

Justin grinned, “Someone was talking about me? Cool.”

Chris laughed, “No lack of ego, huh?” Justin grinned and shook his head. “Yeah, they were talking about the team.” He looked up at Justin under his eyelids, “I may come to a game this year.”

Justin smiled, his eyes lighting up. “Really? That would be cool. Tell me when, and I’ll wave to you.”

“I don’t think that would be a good idea. You should concentrate on the game.”

Justin waved his hand dismissively, “I’ll be fine. It’ll be nice to know you’re there.”

Another slightly uncomfortable silence.

Chris broke it once again. “So, who are Lance and Joey?”

“Lance is JC’s boyfriend and Joey is Lance’s step brother.” Justin looked down at his sweatshirt, “This is actually Joey’s. He let me borrow it, because as I said earlier, it was colder than I thought this morning.”

Chris squashed the pang of jealously that coursed through him. “He’s bigger than you, I take it.”

Justin grinned, “Not taller, just wider.”

Chris threw back his head and laughed. “There’s that ego again!”

“It’s always there,” Justin said, “just lurking around the corner.”

Chris noticed the time and began to pile together the papers he needed for class. “We’re going to be late,” he said.

Justin stood and leaned against the door, watching Chris move around his office. Chris tried not to feel unnerved as Justin studied him. “I was talking about you last night,” Justin said.

Chris stopped his movements and turned to Justin. “Really?”

Justin nodded, “Yeah.”

“Why?”

Justin took a deep breath. “Working for you was what the fight was about.” He waved his hand and rushed on, not giving Chris a chance to answer, which was okay, since Chris didn’t know what to say. “But, I was telling Joey about your class, that you seemed to have too much energy to be cooped up in the classroom. I said that you should make us sit in a circle because you walk around so much. He said I should tell you that.” Justin met his eyes, “So I am.”

“You want to sit in a circle?” Chris thought about it. “I guess that would work. I do walk around a lot, don’t I?”

Justin nodded, “A lot.”

Chris shrugged, “Okay, we’ll try it today.” He picked up his briefcase and moved towards the door. He glanced at Justin, deciding he liked the way the kid looked in a bandanna, kind of sexy. He grinned slightly to himself.

He should tell him that.

No, that wouldn’t be good, maybe he was reading all the signals wrong, maybe Justin was fighting with JC because JC though he couldn’t handle a job and play ball at the same time. Maybe the fight wasn’t about him because the whole teacher-student thing was illegal.

Ah, what the hell.

“So, Justin,” Chris said as he shut the door behind him.

“Yeah?” he asked, pulling himself off he wall.

Chris grinned at him. “I like you in bandannas. You should wear them more often.”

He didn’t wait to see Justin’s reaction, already moving towards the elevators. Pushing the button for the elevator, he realized Justin wasn’t behind him. Turning, he saw he was still leaning against the wall, a dazed smile on his face.

“You coming, kid?” he grinned.

Justin grinned slowly. “Yeah, old man, I’m coming.”

He joined Chris waiting for the elevator and damn if Chris didn’t allow himself a small grin as Justin’s hand brushed against his.

Disciplinary action be dammed.

CHAPTER TEN

“Jesus, Justin, what do you have in here?” Joey grunted as he lifted a box.

Justin looked up at him from the floor and grinned, “Those are my sneakers.”

Joey set the box on the cart outside the door and turned to him. “How many damn sneakers does one person need?”

Justin shrugged, “Apparently, that’s my weakness.”

“That and off limit psychology teachers,” JC said, walking into the room.

Justin rolled his eyes and stood up, glancing around the room. He was packing up his stuff from the dorm room, and he didn’t want to leave anything behind. JC, Lance, and Joey had asked him if he wanted to move into the house with them, since they had the extra room, and he jumped at the chance.

“Can it, JC,” Justin said good naturedly, “You’re just jealous.”

JC laughed as he picked up a box, “Jealous? Of what?”

“Cause I have a real man,” Justin grinned.

“Hey!” Lance protested from the doorway, “What am I?”

Joey stepped over to him and pinched his cheeks, “Well, Lance, you are a little, um, feminine.”

Lance swatted Joey’s hand away, and ignored him.

Justin laughed, “That’s not what I meant, Lance. I meant that he’s older, and more experienced and stuff.”

JC grinned, “And stuff? Well, there you got me. Lance doesn’t know about stuff.” JC grinned at Lance, “But, I wouldn’t exactly say he’s not experienced. I’m perfectly happy with that.” Lance rolled his eyes and blushed at JC’s comment.

Joey put his hands to his ears, “I really don’t need to be hearing this. The visuals that you three are throwing around are literally making me ill.”

“Are you sure it wasn’t the five hot dogs you ate that are making you sick, Joey?” Lance asked, hitting him in the stomach and crossing the room to JC, taking a box from his arms. He leaned forward and JC planted a kiss on his lips.

Joey stared at them, “No, I’m pretty sure it’s you.” He turned to the cart in the hallway that was piled high with Justin’s things. “Are we ready yet?”

Justin pulled his backpack on his arm and surveyed the room. His half was completely empty. “Yep, we’re ready,” he picked up the basketball from the desk chair and led the way out of the dorm room, shutting the door behind him. “I really appreciate this, guys,” he said.

Lance waved away his thanks, “Justin, you thanked us about a million times, let it go. We have the extra room, you may as well use it.”

The four guys walked down the hallway towards the elevator, “You’re just lucky that Lance and JC are getting it on,” Joey said, “or else there wouldn’t be the extra room.”

“Joey, do you have to be so crude all the time?” Lance admonished him.

Joey shrugged, “It’s part of my appeal.” The elevator doors opened and two girls walked out. Joey turned around to watch them walk down the hallway and disappear in a room near Justin’s. He whistled, “I may stay in your room, Justin.”

Justin grinned as he shook his head, “Let’s go, Joey, we need your help with these boxes, you can flirt with them some other time.”

“So, Justin,” JC said to him, “Joey’s play opens tomorrow night, you want to come with us?”

Justin shrugged, “I guess. I don’t really have anything better to do.”

“Gee, thanks,” Joey said dryly.

*****

“Justin, for the last time, you are not wearing a bandanna!”

Justin growled as he turned to face JC. “I want to!”

JC stood in the doorway to the bathroom Justin and Joey shared, his arms crossed over his chest. “Look, Justin, this isn’t the opening of a Broadway play or anything, but you cannot go looking like a hoodlum.”

“I do not look like a hoodlum!”

JC rolled his eyes, “Fine, but you’re still not wearing it.” His eyes narrowed, “What is it with you and bandanna’s lately? You only used to wear them occasionally, but now you wear one every damn day!”

Justin averted his eyes and turned his attention back to the mirror. He put some gel in his hands and began working it through his curls, hoping to tame them. He really didn’t feel like explaining to JC that Professor Kirkpatrick liked him in bandannas, and he wore them just in case he would see him on campus.

“No reason,” he muttered to JC. “Don’t you have Lance to bother or something?” he asked, pointedly looking towards the hallway.

JC held up his hands, “Fine, I’m going. We’re leaving in ten minutes.” He turned and walked back towards his room.

Justin turned back to his reflection. He could go without a bandanna for one night. What are the chances of running into his Professor anyway? He probably wouldn’t go to the play, hell Justin wouldn’t be going if he weren’t friends with Joey.

Justin sighed as he turned off the bathroom light and moved down the hall towards the stairs. He walked into the living room where JC and Lance were waiting for him on the couch, their lips locked.

Justin rolled his eyes, “Do you two ever stop?”

JC broke away from Lance and grinned at Justin, “Trust me, J, if you kissed him just once, you wouldn’t be able to stop either.”

Lance blushed and stood up, “He’s lying, Justin. He’s just horny.”

Justin laughed and followed them out of the house.

*****

“Get the hell away from him,” JC muttered under his breath.

Justin glanced up at JC questionably and followed his gaze. Across the lobby, Lance was talking to another student who, at the present time, was touching his arm. As Justin watched, Lance threw back his head and laughed, and the other student looked quite pleased with himself.

“Jealous?” Justin grinned.

JC sneered at him. “Look at that kid, he’s all over him!”

“Jace, I wouldn’t exactly call touching his arm all over him.”

JC shook his head, “Whatever. The point is, he’s flirting with him.” JC’s eyes narrowed, “And Lance doesn’t even know it.”

Justin begged to differ. Lance knew exactly what he was doing. If JC would take two seconds to take his glare away from the student and look at his boyfriend, he would see the small glances Lance gave him, a slight smile playing at his lips. Justin hid a grin. Oh, yeah, Lance was doing it on purpose. He gave Lance some credit, he really did know how to push JC’s buttons.

“I’m going over there,” JC said, making his way across the room.

“Oh, this I’ve got to see,” Justin grinned, following him.

Lance was laughing at something the guy said as JC approached and Justin could see JC’s jaw clench. “Hey, Lance,” JC said evenly as he got closer.

Lance grinned, “Hey, Josh.” He turned to the kid, “Josh, this is Nick. Nick, this is JC.” JC gave him a pointed look and he sighed, holding back his grin, “my boyfriend,” he added.

Nick stuck out his hand, “Pleased to me you, Josh.”

“It’s JC,” he corrected, shaking his hand. Turning from Nick, he spoke to Lance. “Are you ready to go in?”

Lance nodded and grinned at Justin, who was a few feet behind JC. “Yeah, let’s go.” He turned back to Nick, “I’ll see you around.”

Nick nodded, “Yeah, I’ll call you sometime.”

JC’s fingers dug into Lance’s arm as Nick left, “He’ll call you sometime?”

Lance smiled, “Relax, Josh. He wants be to tutor him in Biology.”

JC stopped walking and turned to Lance, “Biology? That’s your worst subject! You suck at Biology!”

Lance grinned, “Actually, I suck at Anatomy.”

Justin burst out laughing at Lance’s lame joke and JC allowed himself a smile. He leaned close to Lance, “You’re doing it on purpose, aren’t you?”

“Took you long enough,” Justin grinned.

Lance put his arm around JC’s waist, pulling him close. “I love when you get all jealous.”

“Hey, kid,” a voice came from behind Justin.

Justin’s face lit up as he turned around. “I am not a kid,” he grinned at his Professor.

Lance and JC shared a look, and Lance smiled at him. There was only one person who could make Justin’s face light up like that.

“So, what are you doing here, Justin?” Professor Kirkpatrick asked him. “This doesn’t exactly seem like your cup of tea.”

Justin shrugged, “My friend Joey is the lead.”

Professor Kirkpatrick raised an eyebrow, “Joey of the sweatshirt?”

Justin laughed, “Yeah.” He seemed to remember Lance and JC behind him, “Oh, these are my friends. That’s Lance and JC.” He grinned at them, “This is Professor Kirkpatrick.”

His professor rolled his eyes, “I think outside of class, you can call me Chris.”

JC lifted his eyebrows and Lance nudged him, silently telling him not to be so damn obvious in his disapproval. Lance offered his hand, “Nice to meet you.”

Chris smiled at Lance and shook his hand, turning to JC. He suddenly knew that the argument Justin told him about definitely had something to do with JC not approving of him. He could feel the coolness radiating from JC as he shook his hand.

Justin interrupted him, “So, are you here alone?” he asked, hoping he didn’t sound too eager.

Chris nodded, “Yeah.” He grinned, “I had nothing to do tonight, and I didn’t feel like staying in, so I thought I’d come here. It was kind of a last minute thing.”

Justin grinned, “Do you want to sit with us?”

JC opened his mouth to protest, but Lance pulled him away. “We’ll go inside and get seats,” he told Justin.

Justin flashed him a thankful smile and they moved away, JC muttering about how this was not good, and why did he stop him? Turning back to Chris, Justin smiled, “So? You want to sit with me?”

Chris noticed the subtle way the “us” became “me” when his friends left and he smiled at the younger man. “I would love to.”

*****

Justin and Chris moved into the auditorium, and Justin scanned the rows of seats for Lance or JC. “I wish one of them would have stayed with us,” he said to Chris.

Chris cocked his head, “Why?”

Justin grinned, “Because they have this weird ability to seek each other out. They could be separated by hundreds of people and somehow know where the other one is.” He glanced around the crowded room, “It would help us out right about now.”

Chris touched his arm, “We don’t have to sit with them,” he said quietly.

Justin looked down at his arm, where Chris’s hand rested. He looked back up, and met his chocolate eyes, “No, I guess we don’t,” he said thickly.

“Justin!” JC’s voice carried through the crowd.

Chris grinned, “Or maybe we do,” he said.

Justin nodded, “He just wants to baby-sit me. He doesn’t approve.”

“Approve of what?” Chris asked him, making no move towards JC.

“You,” Justin said quietly, looking into his eyes, hoping he got the message.

He did, loud and clear. “Does that bother you?” Chris whispered.

Justin shook his head, “No. I don’t need his approval,” he said, sticking out his chin defiantly.

Chris laughed and glanced at the seat where JC was standing. “We better go, Just.” He unconsciously dropped his hand to the small of Justin’s back and led him down the aisle.

JC was glaring at him when they reached the seats. “We saved you a seat,” he said, motioning to the one empty chair next to him.

Justin returned his glare, “We need two seats, Josh,” he said, deliberately using his full name.

JC’s eyes narrowed at the name, “Don’t call me Josh,” he warned quietly.

“Then find me another seat,” Justin said, just as quietly.

Lance watched the exchange from where he sat in his seat. “Don’t worry, Justin, once again, I’ve outsmarted Josh.” He motioned to the empty seat next to him. “I have two empty seats on this side of me, so I’ll just move down.” He stood and moved down a seat, pulling JC with him. Grudgingly, JC broke his stare with Justin and sat next to Lance, crossing his arms over his chest.

Chris leaned close to Justin’s ear. “I’m not causing a lover’s quarrel or anything, am I?” he asked, motioning to Lance and JC. Lance was speaking softly to JC, who was refusing to look at him.

Justin glanced up and noticed Nick making his way to their aisle. “Don’t worry, they’ll be fine in a minute.” He sat next to JC and watched as Nick claimed the empty seat next to Lance. Immediately, JC was holding Lance’s hand and shooting daggers at Nick.

Chris laughed, “Woah, jealous much?”

Justin turned to him, laughter on his face. “He is a little over protective.”

Chris smiled, “Well, that’s what happens when you’re in love.”

Justin shrugged, “I guess.”

Chris touched his knee, “You’ve never been in love?”

Justin focused on Chris’s hand as it moved from Justin’s leg and went back to rest on his thigh. He wanted to take his hand and hold it, rub his thumb along the softness of the back of it, and bring it to his lips and kiss it. He wanted to feel his hand running though his curls and down his neck, pulling him close as their lips met. He wanted that hand to wrap around his, and hold it as if it would never let go.

He shook his head and answered Chris, “No, I’ve never been in love. I mean, I thought I was at the time, but I watch them,” he motioned to Lance and JC, who were laughing at their own private joke, “And I see that I wasn’t.”

“Don’t worry, Justin,” Chris said, “you’ll be in love someday.” He winked, “Maybe sooner than you think.”

Justin smiled at him, allowing his fingers to brush against the side of Chris’s leg. “I’m sure you’re right.”

As the house lights went down, Justin broke his stare with Chris, leaving his hand between their legs, the back of his hand touching Chris’s outer thigh.

And after discreetly looking around, Chris allowed his hand to drop next to Justin’s.

Justin turned in the darkness and saw Chris steadily looking at him, as if looking for a sign of encouragement. Justin smiled softly at him and turned his hand palm up, allowing Chris’s hand to fall into his.

Their fingers interlocked, their hearts began to race, and they both knew that they didn’t want to let go.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Justin couldn’t even remember the name of the play. He didn’t pay any attention to it and he didn’t feel guilty about it at all. He was sure Joey would understand.

All of his energy was focused on the hands intertwined discretely between the seats. Oh, he wasn’t staring at them or anything, he was just acutely aware of the fact that they were actually holding each other. Every fiber in his being was focused on his left hand, memorizing how it felt in Chris’s right hand. How every once in a while Chris would gently move his thumb along the soft skin of the back of Justin’s hand, causing goosebumps to appear on his arms and a flutter to erupt in his stomach.

He prayed his palm wasn’t sweaty.

He shifted his weight forward a bit on the chair as he saw JC glance in his direction. He had been doing that all night, turning his head towards Justin and throwing glances at him, glares at Chris. He clearly didn’t approve. Justin didn’t want JC to see their hand holding, so he shifted his weight and prayed the cloak of darkness was enough to cover the evidence.

But Chris didn’t seem too worried about it, he told himself. Justin assumed he made sure no one was watching before he casually dropped his hand between the seats. And Chris really had more to lose than Justin. Chris was the one who had a job on the line, Chris was the one who would get a bad reputation in the teaching community, Chris was the one who would never be able to teach again.

Justin shook his head and stopped his thoughts. He would not do this. He would not let anything JC said ruin this moment. He would not think about the consequences, he would just go with the flow. Beside him, Chris quietly cleared his throat as he squeezed his hand.

Justin glanced over at him and couldn’t help but smile. They were sitting far enough away from the stage for the lights not to shed any light on the broken policies, but close enough for the lights to dance across Chris’s face as he turned to look at Justin. Presently, the stage was shrouded in darkness, save one spotlight that fell on Joey as he made a speech – a speech about what, Justin had no idea – and the light fell across Chris’s features making him appear even younger than he normally did.

Chris leaned closer to Justin and Justin tilted his head to hear him. “Your friend is being a bit nosy, huh?”

Justin shivered slightly as Chris’s breath was so close to his ear. He swallowed and managed to croak out, “Yeah.”

“Do you think this,” Chris squeezed his hand again, “is a bad idea?”

“No!” Justin answered quicker than he intended. He saw the relieved and slightly amused smile that passed over Chris’s features and he shook his head. “No,” he repeated, “it’s no big deal. JC knows how I feel.”

Chris looked into his eyes, “And how is that?” he asked quietly.

Justin couldn’t tear his gaze away, no matter how hard he tried. Chris’s bold nature was a slight shock to him, and his blue eyes were transfixed on Chris’s intense brown gaze. “I don’t think this is a good time to talk about this,” Justin smiled slightly.

Chris nodded, “you’re right.” He turned back to the stage briefly before once again leaning close to Justin, “What the hell is this play about anyway?”

*****

As the house lights came up after the play, Chris let go of Justin’s hand. He stretched his arms above his head and sat up, cracking his back in the process. His mind was working a mile a minute trying to figure out a way to extend this evening.

“So, what did you think?” Lance asked, leaning across JC to look at Justin.

Justin’s eyes grew wide, “Uh...it was...,” he stammered, “it was great!”

Justin shot a look at Chris, who managed a nod, “Yeah, your friend was really good.”

JC tilted his head and studied them, “What was the play about Justin?” he asked casually.

“Josh!” Lance laughed, “What kind of question is that?”

JC shrugged, his eyes locked with Justin’s. “Just wondering, that’s all.”

Lance leaned forward and rested his chin on JC’s shoulder, “Well, you watched the whole thing. You know it was a period piece about the war.” He flashed Justin a grin.

“I thought it was dark, depressing and enlightening at the same time,” Justin elaborated for JC, hoping Lance saw the relived look that was in his eyes.

Lance winked at Justin and turned to Nick, who was patiently waiting for Lance to turn to him before he said goodbye. Sure enough, JC took his attention away from Justin and focused on his boyfriend, making sure Nick knew that Lance was very much taken.

Chris chucked as Justin sat back in the seat. “Close call.”

Justin grinned, “Yeah. Thank God for Lance.”

“So,” Chris started almost timidly, “what are you guys doing after this?” His hand picked at the armrest between them as he spoke.

Justin shrugged, “I don’t know.” He watched the people leaving the theater. No one seemed to be paying any attention to them and he allowed himself to touch Chris’s hand. “What are you doing?”

Chris left his hand briefly where it was before pulling away from Justin’s touch. “I don’t know. Do you want to go get something to eat?”

Justin smiled at him, “Yeah, I do.” A concerned look crossed his face, “But where can we go? I don’t want you to get in trouble.”

Chris smiled at his concern, “I don’t care, Justin. It’s just a meal. I can say we were discussing your job. There, it’s a business dinner.”

Justin’s eyes sparkled, “Business huh? Is that what I am to you? Just business?”

Chris leaned slightly forward so that no one would overhear. “I prefer to think of that kind of business as pleasure.”

Justin was horrified to realize that his professor actually made him blush.

*****

A few minutes later, Joey came onto the empty stage and jumped off the edge, practically bounding up the aisle to where they were still at their seats. His grin was wide, his eyes were shining and his hair was wet from washing out the dye used to make him appear old.

They stood as he got closer and he widened his arms as he reached them. “So? What did you think?”

“I thought you were great, Joey,” Lance said.

“Me, too,” JC added.

Joey turned to Justin and grinned, “Well?”

“Awesome,” Justin said, praying he wouldn’t have to go into detail.

Lucky for Justin, Joey caught sight of Chris standing quietly behind Justin, looking slightly out of place. He raised an eyebrow at the younger man and a slow grin began to appear on his face. “So,” he said, turning towards Chris and drawing the word out, “who’s this?”

Justin sighed and rolled his eyes at Joey, silently pleading with him to not make a big deal out of it. He was about to answer when Chris stepped forward, his hand extended. “I’m Chris,” he said simply, “you were great,” he added.

Justin almost laughed as Joey’s face dropped. “I’m Joey,” he said, shaking Chris’s hand. “And you’re Chris,” he muttered.

Chris grinned, “Yep. Chris Kirkpatrick.” He shared a sly grin with Justin who snickered.

Joey’s eyes widened and he glanced between Justin and Chris, “Kirkpatrick?” he grinned, “As in Professor Kirkpatrick?”

Chris crossed his arms over his chest, “Yeah. You know me?”

Joey laughed, “You could say that. Curly here talks about you enough.”

JC and Lance shared a look, “Curly?” Lance asked.

Joey rolled his eyes, “His hair, Lance,” he said patiently. Rewarded with Lance rolling his eyes, Joey turned back to Chris, “So, it’s Chris now, is it?”

Chris smiled, “Yeah, I thought Professor Kirkpatrick was a bit long for outside of class.”

Joey nodded sagely, “You’re right, I’d have to shorten that somehow, and I’d probably somehow insult you and then you’d flunk Justin over there and there’d be all kinds of problems.” He clapped his hands together as he faced the group, “So, you guys want to go to Perkins?”

Lance shrugged, “Sure. Josh, you up for it?”

JC stifled a yawn, “Yeah, why not? My class is late tomorrow.” He smirked at Justin, “Curly?” he mocked.

Justin shook his head, “Thanks, Joey. Just what I want, a nickname about my damn hair.” He shrugged, “I don’t know about Perkins.” He looked sideways at Chris.

Joey grinned and turned to Chris, “You can come too, Chris.”

Chris and Justin exchanged looks and Chris shrugged, “As long as it’s okay with you guys.” He directed his question to everyone, but looked at JC as he spoke.

JC inhaled a deep breath and held Chris’s gaze. His shoulders began to tense and his eyes bored holes into Chris. Lance noticed the change in JC’s demeanor and put a hand on his shoulder, “It’s fine with us,” he answered before JC had a chance. “I take it you drove yourself?” Chris nodded and Lance continued, “Cool. Justin can go with you, then.” He turned to Joey, “And if you don’t mind, Joe, could you ride with them, too, I want to talk to Josh.”

JC sighed and turned to Lance, “That’s really not necessary, Lance.”

“I really think it is, Josh,” Lance replied in the same tone.

JC rolled his eyes and pouted, “Fine.”

Lance smiled at him and kissed his pouting lips, “You’re so cute,” he muttered.

Joey groaned, “You’re so pathetic,” he said. He turned to Chris and Justin, “You guys ready, then?”

Chris nodded, fishing his car keys out of his pocket. “Yeah. Hey, Joey, you can ride up front with me.”

“Hey!” Justin protested. “I wanted to ride up front.”

Chris shook his head, “No way, Justin. I intend to find out what exactly you have been saying about me, and I have a feeling Joey is just the man to ask.”

Joey grinned as they walked out of the auditorium. “You are so right, Chris. I have so many things to share.”

Justin groaned as he watched Joey and Chris walk in front of him. “Great,” he muttered to Lance, “now he’s bonding with Joey. That cannot be good.”

Lance gave him an encouraging grin and squeezed his shoulder as he walked past him. “Welcome to my hell. I hope you enjoy your stay.”

CHAPTER TWELVE

JC slammed the door shut and twisted the key in the ignition, causing the engine to roar to life. “Dammit, Lance! What is your problem?”

Lance sighed patiently as he shut his door, “I don’t have a problem, Josh, I just don’t think you should be going all ape shit on Justin.”

JC looked at Lance, “You think what he’s doing is okay?” he asked with an incredulous tone of voice. “You think he should get involved with his teacher? For God’s sake Lance, I thought you were smarter than that!”

Lance calmly looked at JC and forced himself not to raise his voice at his boyfriend. JC was upset enough as it was, he wasn’t going to add fuel to the fire. “No, Josh, I don’t think it’s a good idea, and hey, thanks for pointing out how dumb you think I am.” JC looked at him apologetically and he continued, “But what I think doesn’t matter. This is between Justin and Chris.”

“Yeah, but he’s our friend, Lance. That gives us some right to tell him what we think.” JC faced front and put the car in gear, slowly moving out of the parking lot.

Lance put on his seatbelt as he answered, “You’re right, it does. It does not, however, give us the right to tell Justin how to run his life, or to preach to him like he’s five years old.” Lance grinned as JC opened his mouth, “Yes, Josh, you tend to preach.” He placed a hand on his arm, “And that’s fine, when he wants to hear it. But he’s nineteen, Josh! He’s living away from home, he doesn’t need you acting like his mother.”

JC hit the steering wheel in frustration. “But I’m just trying to help him, Lance.” He shook his head, “I just have a bad feeling about all this, you know? I just don’t see how this can turn out good.”

Lance sighed as they pulled into the parking lot of Perkins. “What if it does, Josh? What if Chris is the best thing to ever happen to Justin?” He watched JC shake his head, “It can happen, Josh. It happened with us. Maybe they’re meant to be together, you never know. And if you keep discouraging him from doing what he wants, he’s just going to do it anyway and end up pushing you away.”

“I just don’t want to watch him get hurt.”

“None of us do, Josh. But, just give Chris a chance, okay? He really does seem to like Justin, you can tell by watching them.” Lance gave him a lopsided grin, “Plus, he gets along with Joey. That’s not an easy task for anyone.”

JC laughed and looked over at Lance, “You say that like I shouldn’t hold it against him.”

Lance grinned and ran his hand up JC’s arm to his neck, “I didn’t hold it against you,” he murmured as he leaned forward.

JC met him halfway, “I wouldn’t have let you,” he whispered as their lips met.

*****

Justin and Chris were sitting on the plastic benches lining the wall of Perkins and Joey was standing next to them, his arms crossed over his chest, his foot tapping, as JC and Lance entered the restaurant.

“What took you so long?” Joey asked, “you left with us!” He glanced at their intertwined hands, and smiled at JC, “were you two making out in the car?” Justin snickered as he and Chris stood.

Lance blushed slightly and JC rolled his eyes, “No,” he said.

Joey smirked and reached out to smooth the back of JC’s hair down, “Then I guess your window was down, blowing your hair all over the place?”

JC smacked his hand away, “Could we just eat, please? I’m tired and I don’t want to be out late.”

Lance rolled his eyes as he stepped up to the hostess stand, “Well, then, we’d better get home, because it’s already 9:30.” He was rewarded with a playful smack on the back of the head. He turned to Chris, “Do you smoke, or can we go non-smoking tonight?”

Chris shook his head, “No, I don’t smoke.”

Lance nodded and faced front again, and muttered to JC under his breath. “He doesn’t smoke, that’s a plus.”

JC rolled his eyes and wrapped his arms around Lance’s waist, “Okay, I’ll give him that one.”

The group followed the host to a table in the back of the restaurant, and Justin was silently happy for that. He didn’t want to be sitting close to the entrance in case someone Chris knew came in. He didn’t like the idea of them being together in a public place.

“Will you relax?” Chris said to him as they sat down, “no one is here that I know.”

Justin grinned at him, “how did you know what I was thinking?”

“Psychic,” Chris said.

“Psychotic is probably more like it,” Joey muttered from the other side of Chris.

Chris laughed and turned to Joey, “You know me for fifteen minutes and have me pegged. That’s just scary.”

Lance spoke up from across the table, “Pretty much everything about Joey is scary.” He was spared a response from Joey as a waiter came and took their drink orders.

After deciding what to order, they sat in an awkward silence until the waiter came back. Chris shifted uncomfortably in his chair, feeling as if everyone was scrutinizing him, waiting for him to screw up so they could pounce and proclaim how he wasn’t good enough for Justin.

He felt a hand on his thigh, “I think it’s time for you to relax,” Justin leaned over and muttered.

Chris allowed himself a smile and dropped his hand on top of Justin’s. “That obvious, huh?”

Justin turned his hand palm up and laced their fingers together. “Yeah, it’s that obvious.” He leaned closer, so as not to be overheard, “Joey likes you, and Lance likes you.”

“Yeah, great, that just leaves JC.”

Justin grinned, “If Lance likes you, JC will come around, trust me.”

Chris turned to look at him, “I’m taking your word on this one, kid.”

Justin crossed his eyes as he moved away from Chris, “I am not a kid,” he grinned. He caught Lance watching them from across the table. Meeting Justin’s eyes, Lance smiled slightly and nodded, silently telling Justin that he really did like Chris. Justin reflexively squeezed Chris’s hand at Lance’s approval before letting go. They were still in public after all.

“So, Chris,” Lance said to him, breaking the silence, “tell us about yourself.”

Chris suddenly felt all eyes on him. He was surprised at his gut reaction. Normally, he wasn’t a nervous person, he tended to be outgoing, the life of the party, and he tended to not care what people thought of him. Now, though, he felt as if the fate of the world was in his answer. He could fell JC’s slightly disapproving gaze on him, and he refused to meet it, choosing instead to glance at Joey and then turn his attention to Lance.

“Well, obviously, I’m a teacher. I grew up in a small town in Pennsylvania, moving here to go to college.”

Joey interrupted him, “No, we don’t really care about that stuff.” He rested his elbows on the table and turned his head to look at Chris. “Tell us something good. What do you do for fun? You do have fun, right, you’re not some old, boring, stuffy teacher are you? Cause we’re going to have some issues if you are.”

Chris laughed at Joey, and was thankful he was there. It was as if he knew what Chris was thinking and tried to put him at ease. “Okay, fun. I play Play Station,” he started.

Joey’s eyes got wide, “You have a Play Station? Do you play Final Fantasy?”

Chris nodded enthusiastically, “Yeah! All the time. You have no idea how much time I waste in front of the TV playing it!”

Lance groaned and even JC smiled. Lance caught Justin’s eye, “You better watch it, Justin, I think Joey’s moving in.”

Justin laughed and felt Chris’s hand fall on his thigh at Lance’s words. Justin looked over at him to see he was still in an animated discussion with Joey about the benefits of having a remote hand held controller rather than the kind that had the cord. A warm feeling rushed through him when he realized that Chris was silently telling him that Joey wasn’t going to get anywhere, not to worry.

As if Justin would let him anyway.

*****

The air was cool as the group left the restaurant. JC immediately wrapped his arms around Lance from behind, causing him to stumble when he walked, the two of them laughing with each other as they walked to the car. Justin stared at their backs wistfully, wishing he could show some kind of affection to Chris, even if it was just holding his hand. He stepped closer to him and purposely brushed his hand against Chris’s, feeling the tingle as their fingers touched. Chris shot him a playful look as he talked with Joey, and Justin grinned. As they walked across the parking lot, their hands touched more and more until Chris finally decided that he had enough, and took Justin’s in his.

“Joey!” JC yelled across a row of cars. “Let’s go, you’re coming with us this time!”

Justin smiled at JC, surprised that it was he, and not Lance yelling at Joey. Throughout dinner, JC had been quiet, only occasionally interjecting with a comment, mostly just sitting back and watching. Sizing Chris up was probably more like it. He was watching Chris throughout the meal, barely speaking to him at all. Chris had relaxed as time passed, finding more and more in common with Joey than Justin wanted to admit. And by the end of the meal, he had found some common ground with JC, the love of music.

Joey shook his head, “I don’t want to ride with you!”

JC threw Lance the keys and Lance slid behind the wheel, starting the car, as JC crossed to where they stood. “Too bad. I think it’s time you said good night to your new friend, and let Justin go with him.”

Joey pouted as JC reached them. “Okay, okay, I’m coming.” He turned to Chris, “You have to come over sometime, I’ll so kick your ass at Mortal Kombat.”

Chris laughed, “You’re on.” Joey grinned and said good bye, walking towards the car.

JC stood in front of them, his hands in his jean pockets, looking at his feet. “JC?” Justin asked, “Is there something you need? I think Lance is ready to go.”

JC looked up, nodding, “I know. Just, could you wait in the car, I want to talk to Chris?”

Justin looked back and forth between them and shrugged, “Yeah, I guess.” Chris handed him the keys and he walked around the car, unlocking his door and getting in.

Chris waited until he shut his door before looking at JC. “What’s up?”

JC looked at his feet again, and took a deep breath. “Look, I just wanted to say that I was sorry.” He met Chris’s eyes, “I’ve been a real ass to you tonight, and you didn’t deserve it.”

Chris was surprised, and he raised his eyebrows. “You’re apologizing to me? Wow.”

JC offered him a sideways grin, “Yeah, I can hardly believe it myself. And Lance didn’t even make me do it.”

Chris laughed, “He would be very proud,” he teased.

JC laughed with him, “I know. Look,” he said, his voice growing serious, “I’m not going to lie to you, Chris. I have serious doubts about you and Justin.” He held up a hand when Chris opened his mouth to talk. “Let me finish. Besides the whole age thing, besides the whole you’re his teacher thing,” he paused, searching for the words he wanted to say, “Justin is confused. He has these feelings for you that just came up. He’s never been attracted to a guy before and now he is.” He turned his eyes away from Chris, “I remember how that was, and I wasn’t too happy about it. Justin is not acting like me.”

“Justin isn’t you, JC,” Chris said softly.

JC turned his gaze back, “I know that,” he snapped. “Sorry,” he apologized for his tone of voice. “Look, I just don’t get how he can not have any reservations about this. I think he’s too caught up in what he’s feeling right now to think about what may happen in the future. I don’t think he’s really thought about what it means to be with a guy. He doesn’t realize what can happen, what people will say. And when he does, it’s just going to hit him all at once.”

Chris crossed his arms and leaned against the car. “So, you’re saying that you think he’s going to snap out of it one day and not want to be with me?”

“I don’t know what I’m saying, if you want the truth. All I know is that Justin talked about a girlfriend back home, and now he’s here with you.” JC shrugged, “I know he likes you, Chris, so don’t take what I’m saying to mean otherwise. I just don’t want him to get hurt.”

“Did you ever think that maybe Justin has thought about all this stuff, JC?”

JC shook his head, “No. It came too suddenly. He barely admitted he like you before he went off to become your assistant, before he was all giddy whenever you smiled at him the right way. He hasn’t thought about anything.”

Chris scratched his goatee, “I think he has thought about things, JC. I don’t know if he realized it or not, but I think he has.”

JC scoffed, “how can he not know if he thought things through or not?”

“You are his best friend, right?” JC shrugged in affirmation and Chris continued, “JC, you’re his best friend and you’re dating a guy. He watches you and Lance, he sees how it is. On some level, he knows what it’s like to be with a guy. He knows that people may call him names, may laugh at him, may not like him just because he might be gay. He respects you and Lance, and he sees your love and that’s enough for him to know that whatever people may say or do, love can make it okay.”

“Isn’t that poetic?” JC said sarcastically, “Love can make it okay.” He shook his head angrily, “but he doesn’t see, Chris, and that’s my point. The kids at school, they don’t do any of those things that you talked about. They don’t make fun of us, they don’t call us names, they don’t laugh at us. They like us, they accept us, they don’t care if we’re fucking each other.” Chris was taken aback at the force of JC’s words, and found he couldn’t respond, allowing JC to continue. “He doesn’t see how it is! He hasn’t heard what it was like for Lance back in Mississippi. He doesn’t know that Lance moved here to get away. He doesn’t know the reason Joey and his dad didn’t move to Mississippi was because Lance had been beaten up on more than one occasion, he doesn’t know that Lance’s mom had to visit him in the hospital on his sixteenth birthday because some homophobic scumbag decided that Lance’s ribs would make a good punching bag. He hasn’t been outside of the school environment with you. He doesn’t see how people can really be.”

Chris reached out and touched JC’s arm. JC had started to cry while talking about Lance, and Chris felt the need to offer some kind of sympathy, however small it may be. His words caught in his throat when JC talked about what happened to Lance. He had been lucky, too, he realized. The worst thing he ever had to go through was some of the teachers wanting him to resign from his post. That was nothing compared to what Lance had gone through.

“JC,” Chris said softly, “I’m sorry.”

JC nodded and wiped his eyes, “Thanks.”

“Look,” Chris said, “I can’t pretend to know what it was like for Lance, hell, I’ve been lucky, too. I do know that you don’t want to see Justin get hurt. I know that you think I’m going to hurt him, either by something I do or just by being with me.” Chris met his eyes, “I can’t tell you that everything will be perfect, JC, I’m not psychic. I can tell you that I really like Justin. I know it’s wrong, I know it’s against all kinds of policies, but I don’t care. And I’m not going to pretend that it’s going to be easy, but I’m willing to try.”

JC nodded, “I guess that’s all I can ask then.” He sighed, “Just, be careful with him, okay? Don’t hurt him.”

Chris met his gaze, “I don’t intend to.”

JC held Chris’s gaze for a minute, searching his eyes for the truth. Deciding that Chris was serious, he nodded, “Okay, then.” He glanced inside the car to see Justin looking out the window. “You better go, he’s waiting for you.” He grinned at Chris, “Just have him home by midnight.”

Chris narrowed his eyes, “Midnight? Don’t you know it’s a school night? He should be home earlier than that.”

JC laughed, “Yeah well, I’m lenient. Have fun,” he called to Justin as Chris opened the door. He turned to walk back to his car when he heard Justin call his name. He turned to see Justin standing next to the car, the door open behind him.

“Everything okay?” he called.

JC nodded, “Yeah.” He motioned to the car, “Now go, you only have an hour.”

Justin grinned at him across the roof of the car. “Thanks, JC.”

JC knew he was talking about more than his supposed curfew. “Anytime, Justin.” He waved and turned back to the car where Lance and Joey were patiently waiting.

*****

“So,” Chris said as they drove away from Perkins, “anywhere you want to go?” He glanced at him and grinned, “No place too far, though, you have a curfew.”

Justin laughed and reached to turn on the radio, “I don’t care. We could sit in front of my house and talk, and I’d be happy.” He set the volume low so that it would be background noise and pulled his hand away. Chris caught it before he could totally retract it, and pulled it to his thigh, where it rested comfortably under the warmness of Chris’s own hand.

“Well, let’s go to the park,” Chris said. Justin nodded and they sat in a comfortable silence as Chris drove. Occasionally, Justin would sing along to the songs on the radio, and Chris would sit and just listen to the sound of his voice.

Pulling into a parking space at the park, Chris turned to Justin, “we’re here.”

Justin peered out the window. “A playground? This isn’t a park.” He opened his door, “A park has like benches and trees and stuff. Not monkey bars and swingsets.”

Chris laughed and took his hand, pulling him across a bridge that connected the parking lot with the playground. The stream underneath gurgled quietly, the only light was the moon overhead. “I like playgrounds,” he protested. “What’s wrong with them?”

Justin swung their hands between them, “Nothing,” he said, and began to skip to the sliding board. “I feel like I’m ten,” he said as he began to climb the ladder.

Chris stood at the bottom of the slide, his arms crossed over his chest, “you’re acting like you’re ten, that’s for sure.”

Justin pushed off and slid down, landing on his feet and standing up. He was directly in front of Chris, “You bring me to a playground, then scold me for acting like a ten year old.” He shook his head, “Man, that’s messed up.”

Chris reached out and ruffled Justin’s hair, “I’m not scolding you, I think it’s cute.”

Justin wrinkled his nose, “First you call me kid, now you call me cute.” He grinned at him, “You really need to work on that.”

Chris rolled his eyes and pulled him to another ride. “Let’s go. Do you get dizzy easily?” He pushed him onto the merry go round and began to spin it, taking hold of the bar and running in a circle. Justin sat cross-legged between two bars and laughed as he watched Chris. Deciding that it was going fast enough, Chris jumped on in the space next to Justin’s. He sat facing him, and Justin moved closer, straightening his legs so they slid under the bar to rest next to Chris’s hips. Chris did the same and their hands found each other’s on the bar separating them.

“I’m having a really great time,” Justin said softly.

Chris smiled at him and reached up, pushing back a curl that had fallen onto Justin’s forehead back. “Me too. I’m glad I decided to go to that play.”

Chris had gotten the momentum of the child’s ride going pretty good, and it continued to spin as Justin and Chris locked eyes. Justin found himself lost in the deep chocolate gaze, and he couldn’t look away. He wondered what it would be like to kiss another man, and his eyes moved from Chris’s over his nose and to his mouth.

Chris watched Justin look at him, taking the opportunity to revel in the younger man’s beauty. He unconsciously licked his lips as Justin’s gaze stopped on his mouth, and smiled as Justin’s own mouth opened slightly and his breath began to increase.

The merry go round began to slow down, but neither Chris nor Justin noticed. Their eyes moved back to each other’s and in Chris’s gaze, Justin found an unspoken question. In Justin’s, Chris found the answer.

Chris leaned forward slightly, his hand moving up Justin’s arm and coming to stop at the back of his neck. He felt the curls tickle the back of his hand as he lightly ran his hand over the soft skin. Justin closed his eyes in pleasure and when he opened them, Chris was mere inches away. Justin, unsure of what to do, and guessing it was the same as when he would kiss a girl, bit his lip in indecision, causing Chris to smile, the corners of his eyes crinkling up at the gesture.

Justin found his hand moving to the back of Chris’s neck on its own accord, and when it reached its destination, he gently pulled him closer, closing his eyes, this time in anticipation of the kiss. Chris’s breath was hot on his face and he softly whimpered, suddenly needing to feel his lips on his own, as if he needed that kiss to breathe. He pulled Chris to him, closing the final centimeters that was between them, and felt Chris’s lips on his.

He had never known feelings like this. As their lips met, Justin felt the heat course through his veins, electrifying his body from his head to his toes. Every nerve ending was on edge, every touch of Chris’s hands sent shivers of pleasure through his body. His lips were soft, a contrast to the hair around Chris’s mouth. When Chris gently flicked his tongue, tracing the outline of Justin’s mouth, he eagerly opened his mouth to him, wanting, needing, to taste all Chris had to offer.

He moved closer, his hands playing with the hair at the back of Chris’s neck, feeling the silky strands underneath his fingertips. He felt the intensity of the kiss increase as Chris’s tongue made its way into his mouth, teasing his own tongue, making him moan softly in pleasure. It wasn’t in any way different than kissing a girl, yet it was so much more. It was the pleasure intensified by a hundred. A thousand. A million. He had never known feelings like this until Chris’s mouth met his, until Chris’s tongue danced with his, until Chris moaned, just as he did.

The merry go round slowly came to a stop, but the emotions of the two men steadily increased until they both unconsciously knew that this was it. This was what they were looking for, and no matter what the odds, they were going to make it. They were going to fight to be together.

No matter what it took.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

“Hey, Chris, do you have a minute?”

Chris looked up from the paper he was attempting to grade to see Professor John Graver in the doorway of his office. “Sure, John,” he said, internally groaning, “what’s up?”

John entered the office, closing the door behind him and sitting on one of Chris’s chairs. Chris really didn’t want to talk to him, John Graver was not one of Chris’s favorite people. He only put up with him because he was a colleague and he had to. A few years ago, when Chris’s sexuality was found out, a few of the Professors had wanted him to quit, signing petitions and going to the Dean. Chris had never found out who was behind everything, but all the rumors pointed to Graver.

John was rambling on about something, and Chris politely nodded his head, wondering his real reason for stopping by. He let his mind wander, and it went where it always did. Straight to Justin.

Allowing himself a small smile, he remembered dropping Justin off at his house the night of the play. He had made it back before midnight, as JC asked, but they had sat on the porch talking until about two in the morning. Chris remembered sitting on the porch swing, Justin leaning against him, his curls tickling his nose. He didn’t remember much of their conversation, knowing they talked about everything, each wanting to find out more about the other.

“So, I hear you have a new assistant,” John was saying.

Chris snapped his attention back to the Professor in front of him. “Yeah, I do.”

John nodded and smiled slightly, “Is it a guy?”

Chris narrowed his eyes, “What does that have to do with anything?”

John shrugged, “I was just wondering, that’s all.” He raised his hands in a gesture of innocence, “Don’t get all defensive on me, Chris.”

Warily, Chris responded, “Yes, it’s a guy. His name is Justin Timberlake, he’s in one of my classes.” He gestured to his office, “He’s doing a hell of a job, don’t you think? You can actually see the floor.”

John looked around approvingly, “Maybe I should hire him.” He cocked his head, “Timberlake? Does he play basketball? I think I remember hearing the coach talk about him.”

Chris wondered what he was up to, there was something that wasn’t right in his tone of voice. “Yes, he does.”

John snapped his fingers. “Yes! That’s right. Coach was saying he was amazing, that him and Chasez were going to be the stars of the year.” He grinned at Chris, “So, he’s hanging around with JC Chasez? That kid is gay, right?”

“What are you doing?” Chris asked quietly.

John shrugged innocently, “Nothing. I was just saying that maybe if he’s friends with JC, Justin might be a little…” his voice trailed off and his hand wobbled in front of him.

“What, John? A little so-so?” Chris asked angrily. His brown eyes blazed, “That’s great.” He shut the folder on his desk containing the papers that he was grading and opened a drawer, throwing it inside. “What the hell are you doing?” he asked John.

John grinned triumphantly. “Nothing,” he said. He leaned forward, “You better watch yourself, Kirkpatrick.”

Chris was confused, “What are you talking about? Watch myself with what?”

He was interrupted by a knock on the door. Not taking his eyes off of John, he told whomever it was to come in. Turning to the door, his heart stopped beating when he saw Justin in the doorway, a grin on his face.

“Hey,” Justin said. He took in the look on Chris’s face and his eyes darted to John, who was sitting back in his chair, his leg crossed, his ankle resting on the opposite knee. A small smile appeared at the corner of John’s mouth as he watched Chris.

“Justin,” Chris said, beginning to panic. This was not what he needed, John Graver analyzing every move he made with Justin.

Justin hooked his thumbs underneath the straps of his backpack and took a step back. “Sorry to interrupt, Professor,” he said, “I’m just here for work.” He nervously ran a hand over his bandanna, causing his white T-shirt to ride up, and it took every ounce of willpower for Chris not to look at his slightly exposed stomach. “I’ll come back in few minutes.”

“Wait,” John said from his place on the chair. “You’re Justin Timberlake, right?”

Justin exchanged a glance with Chris and nodded at him, “Yeah.”

John stood up, “I’m John Graver,” he said, extending his hand. Justin shook it and nodded. “I heard a lot about you.”

“Really?” Justin asked, a smile coming to his face. Chris rolled his eyes at him behind John’s back. The kid’s ego was insatiable. “From who?”

John grinned, “Coach Andrews. He said between you and JC, we may have a chance this year.” He retreated to his chair and sat down.

Chris groaned, God, was he ever going to leave? All he wanted to do was to shut his office door, push Justin up against the wall and kiss him until he couldn’t breathe. He put his head in his hands and forced the images out of his mind.

“Did you just come from practice?” John asked him, motioning to his attire, which was still damp with his sweat.

Justin glanced down, “Yeah, it was a real workout today. We have our first game tomorrow night, so Coach was really killing us today.” He slid his backpack off his shoulders and dropped it on the floor. Crouching down, he opened the zipper and pulled out a water bottle. “I’ll just go get some water out of the fountain down the hall until you finish your meeting,” he said to Chris. Chris nodded and Justin backed out of the room.

“Good luck this year,” John said to him.

“Thanks,” Justin said and he was gone.

The door softly shut and John looked back at Chris, raising an eyebrow. “Nice looking kid,” he said.

“He is not a kid,” Chris muttered, more to himself than John.

“I bet you have a lot of thoughts about that one,” John said.

Chris stood up and walked around to the front of the desk, “You’re out of line, Graver,” Chris said angrily.

John calmly stood, picking imaginary pieces of lint off his jacket. “You just remember he’s your student, Kirkpatrick.”

Chris spoke through gritted teeth, “There is nothing going on.”

John shrugged, “Then we don’t have a problem, do we?” He moved to the door. “I’ll be watching you, waiting for you to screw up.” He dropped his voice, “And when you do, believe me, I’ll be right there to watch you fall.”

Chris held his gaze until he turned and walked out of his office. As the door shut behind him, he closed his eyes and moved behind his desk, sitting in the chair, resting his elbows on the desk and his head in his hands. He heard the door open and quietly shut, but didn’t look up. He knew by the slight musky scent that it was Justin.

Justin locked the door behind him when he saw Chris sitting at his desk. He dropped the bottle of water onto his backpack and moved behind Chris. Placing his hands on Chris’s shoulders, he gently began to knead the muscles. Feeling him start to relax, he spoke softly.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Chris shook his head, keeping his face in his hands. “No,” came his muffled voice. “I just want to forget about it.” Justin nodded, even though Chris couldn’t see him and continued to rub his shoulders. Suddenly, Chris swiveled his chair around, catching Justin off guard. “Come here,” Chris said, pulling on Justin’s arm and moving him closer. He pulled him so he was sitting in his lap.

Justin grinned and wrapped his arms around Chris’s neck. “I’m glad I locked the door,” he said.

Chris pulled him close for a kiss. “I’m glad you’re here,” he said. He kissed him softly. “Let’s get out of here.”

Justin stood and retrieved his backpack. “Where do you want to go?”

Chris shrugged, “I don’t care, anywhere but here.” He glanced at Justin. “Could we go to your place?”

Justin nodded, “Sure.” They moved to the door, “Are you okay?” Justin asked quietly before Chris opened the door.

Chris reached out and touched Justin’s face. “I’m fine. I’ll tell you all about it later.” He grinned, “I need some cheering up, so I thought maybe I could kick Joey’s ass in Play Station.”

Justin laughed as they walked down the hall. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were using me to get to Joey.”

Chris caught his hand as the elevator door closed behind them. “Nah. I think I’ll keep you around, kid.”

Justin rolled his eyes in response.

*****

“Anyone home?” Justin called as he led the way into the house.

“In here,” JC’s voice rang out from the kitchen.

Chris groaned as he heard JC. “Great.”

Justin turned to him. “He likes you, Chris, so stop it.” He led the way to the kitchen, pointing at the rooms along the way, giving a brief explanation. “Living room, bathroom down the hall, dining room.”

Chris squeezed his hand, “Where’s your bedroom?”

Justin laughed and didn’t answer him as they stepped into the kitchen. Lance was standing in front of the stove, stirring something in a large pot, which Justin assumed was pasta, since Joey was next to him, a spoon at his mouth, tasting the sauce that rested on it. He took the spoon out of his mouth and made a face, reaching for the garlic powder and shaking some more of the powder in the saucepan. He then began to stir it.

“God, Joey!” Lance yelled at him, “you just had that spoon in your mouth!”

Joey shrugged, “So?”

“So, the rest of us don’t want your spit in our food.”

Joey rolled his eyes, “Oh come on, Lance. It’s not like I spit into the sauce.”

Lance grabbed the spoon out of his grasp and threw it in the sick. “It’s still gross.”

JC spoke up from the table where he was reading out of a textbook, “I hate to tell you, Lance, but he’s been doing that for years. Joey doesn’t believe in cooking with more than one utensil.”

Lance muttered something under his breath. Pushing Joey out of the way, he said, “Go set the table.”

Joey turned around and caught sight of Justin and Chris in the doorway. His face lit up in a grin, “Hey guys!”

JC and Lance turned to see who had come in with Justin. Lance smiled and met JC’s gaze when he saw Chris. “Great, Joey,” Lance said, “now Chris has to eat your damn spit laden food.”

Chris shook his head, “I think I’ll pass on the sauce, thanks.” He grinned at Lance, and moved to follow Justin to sit at the table.

“What are you doing here?” Joey asked him, dropping into the seat next to JC.

Chris shrugged, “I had a bad day, so I thought I’d come kick your ass at video games.”

Joey’s mouth dropped open in shock, “You actually think you can kick my ass?” He shook his head, “you are sadly mistaken.” He rose from the table, “Let’s go.”

“Um, Joey,” Lance said, “aren’t you forgetting about setting the table?”

“Jeez, Lance, when did you turn into your mother?” He grinned, “oh, that’s right, you were always a girl.”

JC reached out a hand and grabbed Joey’s arm. Tightening his grip, he pulled him close, “Take it back, Joey.” Joey smirked and JC dug his fingers into his arm. “Take it back. I’m not in the mood for you to do this tonight.”

Joey sighed, “Fine, I take it back.” JC released his arm, and Joey rubbed it, “God, what’s gotten into you?”

JC met his eyes, “Nothing. I’m just not in the mood for your shit.” He stood and left the room.

Joey met Lance’s eyes, “What’s his problem?”

Lance’s gaze followed JC, “He’s having a bad day,” Lance said quietly. “Apparently in one of his General Education classes, they were talking about gay relationships, and someone was saying how there was always an obvious guy and girl in all couples.” His eyes moved back to Joey. “The kid doesn’t know Josh, and he didn’t really have nice things to say about gay people.”

Justin glanced at Chris, “I think you’re the girl,” he told him, breaking the slight tension. Lance and Joey burst out laughing.

Chris sputtered, “What? Why am I the girl?”

Justin rolled his eyes, “Really? Come on, Chris, look at me,” he began to flex his muscles, “I am all man.”

Chris shook his head, “you are all ego, that’s what you are.”

Justin grinned, “And men have bigger egos than women.” He raised his arms in triumph, “therefore, I am the man!”

Chris glanced up at Joey and Lance, “Can you believe this boy?”

Lance grinned as he moved towards the hallway, “I’m not going to touch this one. I’m going to check on Josh. Joey, don’t burn the spaghetti,” he called as he left the kitchen.

Joey moved towards the stove. “Hey, you guys want to help me here?” he asked as the water began to boil over.

Justin motioned to the stove with his head, “Go ahead,” he grinned.

Chris rolled his eyes and stood up, “Just for the record, I’m not doing this because I’m the woman,” he said as he moved to the stove. “I’m doing this because I don’t think you, Joey and your head will all fit over here.”

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Chris hesitated at the doors to the gym and took a deep breath. What the hell was he doing here? He smiled and nodded at a few people he knew, and wondered who he was going to sit with. The gym was crowded, students milling about, having about fifteen minutes before the game actually started. He paid for a ticket and made his way into the gym, looking around at the bleachers, trying to decide where to sit.

“Chris!” He heard someone call his name, and he looked for the source of the voice. “Over here! Look up!” He did, and grinned when he saw Joey standing near the top of the bleachers in the center section, waving his arms like a madman. Chris shook his head and made his way to where Joey was standing.

“What’s up?” he asked as he sat next to Lance.

Lance looked up at him, “I don’t know him,” he muttered, motioning to Joey, who was flagging someone else down in the same manner he got Chris’s attention.

Chris laughed as he got settled on the hard wood of the bleachers. “Hey, at least I found someone to sit with, so it can’t be all bad.”

Lance grinned at him, pushing his glasses up on his nose. “Trust me, he’s all bad.”

Joey dropped to a sitting position on the bleacher behind Chris and Lance. He leaned forward to speak to them, his arms resting on their shoulders. “Hey Chris! What are you doing here?”

Chris rolled his eyes, “What do you think?”

Lance looked at him out of the corner of his eye. “We think Joey was dropped as a child, he doesn’t catch on too quickly.”

Joey hit Lance in the back of the head, “I’m just surprised to see you, that’s all. I didn’t think you came to the basketball games.” He dropped his voice. “We were wondering if you were going to come or not, Justin is worried that you’re going to get in trouble.”

Chris smiled at Justin’s concern, and shrugged. “I’m fine. I came to a few games in the years I’ve been here.”

Lance grinned, “I’ve been to them all. So has Joey. The real kick in the ass is that neither one of us give a rat’s ass about basketball.”

Chris turned to him. “Then why do you come to every game? Wouldn’t one or two be enough?”

Lance pointed as the players came out of the locker room. “Look at Josh. Wouldn’t you take every opportunity you could get to sit here to watch him run around?”

Chris’s gaze swept past JC, and landed on Justin. “I see what you mean,” he replied quietly.

Justin and JC were standing near the basket, talking to each other. Justin was wrapping tape around JC’s wrist, his attention on the task in front of him. He was wearing a white bandanna, and Chris idly wondered if that was allowed, while his gaze focused on the small ringlets sticking out from the back of it. The jerseys were sleeveless, and Chris’s eyes moved across Justin’s golden skin and over the smooth muscles, wishing he could run his finger along their curve. His shorts hung low on his hips, his jersey neatly tucked into the shorts, white socks bunched up above his hi top sneakers. The kid sure was sexy as hell.

He felt Joey nudge him in the back. “I think you’re staring,” he said.

Chris nodded, “I know I’m staring.”

JC’s gaze was roaming the bleachers, stopping and grinning when he saw Lance. Lance offered him a wave, and JC lifted his hand in greeting in return. His eyes swept over Joey and Chris, nodding and smiling at them before speaking to Justin. Justin immediately turned and looked into the stands, his eyes locking on Chris. He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and smiled, his eyes crinkling as Chris grinned back. Chris ran a hand over his head, silently communicating with Justin, telling him he liked his bandanna and Justin dropped his gaze to his feet before looking up at Chris and grinning. JC said something to him and Justin laughed, playfully pushing JC before giving Chris one last look. The two fell into line behind their teammates, beginning their pre-game warm-ups.

“Hey Lance,” Chris looked up at the sound of the voice to see who had joined them.

Lance smiled, “Hi Nick.”

Chris recognized the boy who was sitting next to Lance the night of Joey’s play and smiled to himself. He wished he could read minds as he glanced down at the court to see JC glaring up at him.

Nick sat down next to Lance and another kid sat in front of Nick. His dark hair was cut close, a thin bead outlining his jaw, meeting a neatly trimmed goatee around his mouth. His sinewy arms were covered in tattoos, his fingernails were painted black. Chris raised an eyebrow at the stranger, and wondered what this rebel was doing with someone like Nick.

“This is AJ,” Nick introduced the stranger, “he goes to State,” he said, naming the team they were playing against.

Joey reached between Lance and Chris to shake his hand. “How ya doing?” he asked.

“Good, thanks,” a smooth voice came out of the strangers mouth, a voice that didn’t seem to fit the man.

Nick cocked his head at Chris. “You’re a professor, right?” Chris nodded, his mind going a mile a minute trying to think of a suitable story to tell this kid. Nick turned to Lance, ignoring Chris. “What are you doing sitting with a professor?”

Chris rolled his eyes, hello, I’m sitting right here, I can hear every word you say.

Lance offered Nick an easy grin. “Chris is friends with our parents,” he lied, “we’ve known him for a few years now.”

Nick raised an eyebrow. “Oh.” He turned his attention back to the players on the court, deciding that Chris wasn’t worth his time.

“So, AJ,” Joey said, “you have friends out there?”

AJ shrugged, “Just one,” he said.

Nick pointed, “See the small guy, number 2? That’s our friend Brian. He’s really good.”

Lance nodded, “Oh yeah? How do you know him?”

“We grew up together,” Nick said, moving closer to Lance on the bleacher.

Lance nodded, shifting his weight so he was closer to Chris. “Why aren’t you guys sitting on the other side?”

“That’s what I’d like to know,” AJ muttered.

Nick rested his hand on Lance’s knee. “I saw you over here and I wanted to say hi.”

“Hi,” Joey said, grinning at Nick. “You can go now.”

Chris ducked his head to hide a snicker. Nick was staring at Joey with a mixture of confusion and anger on his features. He turned his gaze to Lance. “What is he talking about?”

Joey leaned forward, “let me put it to you straight, Blondie. See that guy out there? Number 21? That’s JC. That’s Lance’s boyfriend.”

Nick nodded dumbly, “I know he has a boyfriend,” he said shortly.

“Then what the hell are you trying to do?” Joey asked him, somehow managing to keep a straight face.

Nick opened his mouth to speak. “I was just...”

Joey grinned triumphantly as Nick stumbled over his words. “That’s what I thought. So, how about you move your ass away from my brother and stop trying to get him to look at you, because trust me, it’s never going to happen.”

Nick looked back at Lance. “What is he doing?”

Lance shrugged, “I don’t know,” he answered innocently. “Sometimes he does this.” He leaned close to Nick and whispered loudly, “He’s a little unstable I think. You better not make him mad.”

Nick glanced between Joey and Lance, trying to decide if they were serious or not. Chris shook his head at the sheer stupidity of the kid and glanced at AJ, who was rolling his eyes.

“Let’s go, Nick,” AJ said, standing. “I see Howie over there, let’s go sit with him.” He turned to the others, “It was nice meeting you.”

Nick stood, uncertain. He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked at Lance. “Um, I’ll call you sometime, you know, about class.” Lance nodded and Nick smiled down at him before glancing up at Joey, who was sitting back, his arms crossed over his chest, fixing Nick with a glare. “See ya.” He turned and moved down the bleachers, catching up with AJ and moving to the other side of the gym.

Chris let out his laughter, “God, he’s so stupid!”

Joey joined in the laughter, “Sometimes, it’s just too easy.”

“Come on, guys, lay off. He’s a nice guy,” Lance said.

“Leave it to Lance to defend someone who wants to steal his honor,” Joey teased.

The buzzer rang, signaling the start of the game, and Lance didn’t answer Joey. They rose for the singing of the National Anthem before settling down to watch. Chris was actually trying to follow what was going on, he did like basketball, so he was interested in the game. Lance watched the game quietly, but Chris guessed he was more interested in watching JC run up and down the court, because when JC was on the bench, Lance leaned back in his seat, his eyes roaming the stands.

“Hey, Joe, look,” Lance said, hitting Joey’s leg, “Isn’t that the girl you were trying to get with?” He motioned with his head to a girl sitting a few rows in front of them.

Joey followed his gaze, a smile lighting up his features, “Nakia, yeah.” He stood, “I’m going to say hi.”

Chris glanced up as Joey moved down the bleachers, sitting next to a pretty black girl who’s face lit up as soon as he said hello. He looked at Lance, “I take it they know each other.”

Lance leaned back and glanced at the court as someone took a foul shot, “Yeah. She’s the makeup person for the play. Joey’s been talking to her for weeks now.” He grinned at Chris, “She’s seen Joey at his worst, so if she’s still around, that’s saying something.” He turned back to the court as JC jogged out to replace someone.

Chris studied the young woman. “She’s pretty,” he commented as she laughed at something Joey said, tossing her black hair behind her shoulder and leaning close to him.

Lance shrugged, “I guess, if you like that sort of thing.” He grinned at Chris, "And by 'that sort of thing,' I mean girls." He glanced down at the girl. “She’d be good for Joey, just what he needs.”

Lance turned his attention back to the court as JC jogged on, tossing a towel at another kid who was walking off the court. He stood across from Justin while the opposing team took their second foul shot. The kid missed the basket and JC got the rebound, immediately passing the ball to Justin to take up the court. At the other end, JC broke free from the man who was guarding him, swiftly accepting the pass from Justin, and easily sinking a shot.

Chris watched the two in amazement, “God, they really can read each other, can’t they?”

Lance nodded, “Yeah. We may actually win this year. Lucky for us Justin transferred.”

Chris smiled softly, “Yeah. Lucky for us.”

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

“Josh, for the last time, he was not hitting on me!”

Chris met Justin’s eye and grinned. They were walking out of the gym, having waited for Justin and JC to take a shower after the game. They had won, 92-84, Justin having scored the most points for their side. Chris had suggested they go to his house to watch some movies and they were heading to their cars, Lance and JC in front of the others.

“Lance,” JC replied angrily, “he had his hand on your knee. I think that qualifies as hitting on you.”

Lance snuck a look over his shoulder and met Justin’s eyes. He grinned at him, and Justin hid a snicker; it was just like at the play, Lance knew exactly what buttons to push.

“Josh, I moved away from him, what do you want me to do?” Lance matched JC’s angry strides to walk next to him. “Joey defended me, don’t worry.”

JC threw his hands up in aggravation, “Jesus, Lance, don’t you get it? You’re supposed to defend you, not Joey!” He stopped walking and faced Lance, “You’re supposed to tell him you have a boyfriend.”

Lance rolled his eyes, “Josh, I did. I can’t help it if he flirts with me.”

JC shook his head and turned to walk away, muttering, “And you were the one who was worried.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Lance asked, catching his arm.

JC turned to look at him, his blue eyes flashing, “That day in the library, Lance, you were so worried that I was going to leave you, that you were crying.” He wiped at his eyes, “I guess I finally know how you feel, that’s all.”

“Josh,” Lance said softly, “I’m not interested in Nick.”

JC nodded, “I know.” He looked into Lance’s eyes, “I’m still going to kick his ass if he touches you one more time.”

Lance threw back his head and laughed, “Sure, Josh. He only has about fifty pounds on you!”

JC put his arm around Lance’s shoulders as they walked to the car, “I’d still kick his ass.” He nuzzled Lance’s neck and turned to the others, who were watching in amusement, “Do you guys mind if me and Lance skip the movie?”

Justin grinned slyly, “Why? Big plans?”

JC smirked at him, “Really big.”

Chris shook his head at the two and said, “No, go ahead.”

“Do you guys mind giving me a ride home?” Joey asked them, “I think Nakia and I are going to do something tomorrow, I told her I’d call her tonight.”

JC shrugged and unlocked the car door, “Sure, get in.” He turned to Justin, “Are you coming home tonight?”

Justin shrugged and put his hands in his pockets, “I don’t know,” he said, glancing at Chris.

Chris grinned, “It’s not a school night, you can stay if you want.”

Justin blushed and looked at the ground, “Doesn’t matter.”

JC got in the car, “Have fun, whatever you decide.” He waved to them and drove away.

Chris looked at Justin, who was still staring at his feet. “Hey,” he said softly, and Justin looked up, “It’s not a big deal, you know, staying at my house.”

Justin kicked at a stone, “Yeah it is,” he said. “I just don’t want to...”

His voice trailed off and Chris smiled softly at him, “Justin, just because you’re staying over doesn’t mean we have to do anything.” Justin looked up at him sharply. “Look, it’s okay, I know you’ve never been with a guy before, we can take it slow.”

“But you have been with other guys,” Justin said, “I don’t want you to get mad at me for anything, you know?”

Chris reached out and pulled Justin close to him feeling his damp curls on the side of his face, “I would never get mad at you for something like this.”

Justin’s arms wrapped around him and he turned his head to rest his cheek on Chris’s shoulder, “Okay, I guess. I just,” he sighed before speaking quickly, “look, I really like you, that’s all, and I want this to work, and I don’t want to piss you off, so if I do, just let me know, okay?”

Chris chuckled at him and pulled out of the hug, “Kid, you have to learn to breathe during your little speeches like that.” He kissed him quickly, “I promise, I’ll let you know if you make me mad, okay?” Justin nodded and Chris grinned, “Good, now let’s go home.”

*****

The movie was over, but Chris couldn’t get up to stop it. Justin was lying across his lap asleep. Chris looked down at him and smiled, resting his hand on his head, his fingers running through the golden curls. His legs were bent at the knee, his hands between them, his mouth open slightly. As Chris watched, he sighed in his sleep, and snuggled closer to Chris’s body. He looked years younger when he was sleeping, he looked innocent.

Chris sighed, “God, I hope I don’t fuck this up.”

He knew he was falling in love with the boy. He should have known it was going to happen, Justin had an aura about him, something that just made people like him. He was everything Chris could ever ask for in a man. He was everything Chris wanted.

Watching him sleep, running his hands through his hair, Chris knew he was a goner. His heart fluttered in his chest as he realized that he did in fact, love Justin. He fell for him quick, and he fell for him hard. He knew he wanted to be with him. He also knew that he couldn’t tell anyone about their relationship.

That was going to be the hardest part about this. Except for a few close friends who could be trusted, no one could ever know about them. The hug in the parking lot was a huge risk, but one Chris was willing to take at the time, knowing Justin needed some kind of comfort from him. But if someone had seen them, if someone had been watching from the other end of the parking lot, the repercussions of his actions would be fierce.

Chris was pulled out of his thoughts by Justin. He was slowly waking up, turning on his back and yawning, rubbing at his eyes to rid them of sleep.

“Hey,” he said tiredly, “when did I fall asleep?”

Chris smoothed his curls from his face, “I don’t know, about an hour ago, maybe.”

Justin smiled, “Why didn’t you wake me?”

“Cause you’re cute when you sleep.”

Justin scowled, “Great, I’m cute.”

Chris laughed, “Come on, you know you’re cute.”

Justin’s scowl turned into a grin, “I’m not cute Old Man, I’m sexy.”

Chris groaned and pushed Justin off his lap onto the floor, “I swear, Kid, your ego is out of control.”

Justin continued to grin at him, “You love my ego,” he said, meeting his eyes. Justin got to his knees and crawled between Chris’s legs, pushing them open and kneeling between them. “You can’t get enough of my ego,” he whispered. Justin’s hands moved up Chris’s thighs and to his waist, pulling him closer, “You miss my ego when I’m not around,” he said.

Chris offered him a slight grin, “I don’t miss the ego, kid, it’s so big, it’s like it’s with me all the time.” Chris pulled him closer, “I do miss you, though,” he breathed against Justin’s lips.

Justin’s eyes were on Chris’s lips, mere centimeters from his own, “Whatever,” he said. He closed the gap between their lips and kissed him. His hands moved from Chris’s waist to his back, to his neck where he ran his fingers lightly over the hair at the nape.

Chris kissed Justin slowly, not wanting to rush anything, but then Justin licked at his lips, and Chris couldn’t resist him. He opened his mouth to Justin’s tongue, and it met his, dancing and fighting in a battle that neither would lose. His fingers fisted in Justin’s hair, pulling him closer, crushing their torso’s together. Justin moaned softly and Chris felt his hands move down his back, once again stopping at his waist.

Justin couldn’t get enough of Chris. He wanted more, he wanted to feel him, taste him. His hands moved from Chris’s waist to the front of his shirt. He flattened his hands on Chris’s chest, running his palms along the broad expanse, feeling the slight shudder that passed through Chris. He pulled away from the kiss and looked into Chris’s eyes. Smiling at him, he began to unbutton Chris’s shirt.

Chris abruptly stood up, reaching out a hand to Justin, “Come on,” he instructed softly.

Justin took the outstretched hand and followed Chris through his house and up the stairs. Chris led him into the bedroom, and turned to him.

“I’m going to say this now, Justin, because it needs to be said.” He reached up and traced Justin’s cheek before resting his hand on the back of Justin’s neck. “I’m feeling things for you that I shouldn’t be feeling this early in a relationship. I’m falling in love with you, Justin.” Justin’s eyes lit up and he smiled, and Chris continued, “I didn’t bring you up here to have my way with you or to do anything you don’t want to do. I brought you up here because I don’t think that your first experience with a guy should be on a floor in the living room.” He met Justin’s eyes and spoke earnestly, “I’m don’t want you to do anything you’re not comfortable with, okay?”

Justin nodded, “Okay.” He took a deep breath, “Chris, I want you to know that this isn’t a passing thing for me. I really care about you, and I want this to work. I know that I’m just a kid, but I don’t want you to think that this is some kind of experiment for me or something. I wouldn’t play with your feelings like that.” He glanced at the bed and then back at Chris, “I’m not going to do anything I don’t want to, so please, don’t worry.”

Chris smiled, “Okay.”

“Okay,” Justin moved his hands to Chris’s shirt, “Now where were we?” He took his shirt in both hands, fisting the material and pulling him closer, crushing their lips together. As they kissed, Justin unbuttoned the shirt, pushing it off Chris’s shoulders and letting it fall to the floor. His hands roamed over the undershirt Chris had on, down his bare arms and up again. He pulled away from the kiss again to tug Chris’s shirt over his head, his lips immediately finding Chris’s as he tossed the shirt onto the floor.

Chris’s hands, hands that were resting gently on Justin’s hips, now found the bottom of the shirt Justin wore. He lifted the back of it, slipping his hand underneath, running his fingers along Justin’s spine, feeling the bones, the muscle underneath. Moving his hands around Justin, he let them rest on his waist, his thumbs rubbing the flat muscles of Justin’s stomach. Justin lifted his arms and Chris slipped the shirt over his head, their lips immediately finding each other again after the shirt was tossed on the now growing pile on the floor.

Naked chest met naked chest, and Chris and Justin shuffled to the bed, falling on it, Chris on top of Justin. They kissed gently, Chris softly brushing his knuckles along Justin’s jaw. Justin’s hands moved over Chris’s back, feather light touches on burning skin. Chris moved his kisses from Justin’s swollen lips over his jaw and to his ear. Justin hissed in pleasure as Chris nibbled his earlobe, gently flicking his tongue out, blowing softly on the wetness.

Chris kissed along Justin’s neck, and Justin arched his head back, the hollow of his throat exposed for Chris’s tongue. He moved along his shoulders, and across his chest, stopping at Justin’s nipple, playfully licking it, causing Justin to arch his back and moan softly.

Justin’s hand found it’s way to Chris’s hair and he ran his hands through the black strands, pushing Chris lower without realizing he was doing it. Chris moved his hands, his lips, his tongue across Justin’s chest and over his stomach, watching in pleasure as the muscles danced underneath. He hooked a finger in Justin’s waistband and looked up to see Justin watching him with hooded eyes.

“Are you sure?” Chris whispered.

Justin nodded, not speaking, his eyes conveying the lust he was feeling. Chris smiled up at him and unbuttoned Justin’s pants, slowly easing the zipper over his growing erection. Justin lifted his hips off the mattress and Chris pushed the jeans and the boxer shorts off him. His breath caught in his throat as he admired the naked man before him.

Swallowing thickly, his throat closed with desire, Chris moved up the bed and caught Justin’s lips with his own, this time a little more forceful, a little more demanding. His hand moved over the smooth skin of Justin’s body, finding his erection and gently coming to a stop. He wrapped his hand around it, and Justin pulled away from the kiss, throwing his head back in pleasure, a moan escaping his lips.

Chris kissed Justin’s neck as he began to slowly stroke him, his thumb grazing the tip, each time causing Justin to shudder. Justin’s hand wrapped in his hair once again, this time, pushing him lower, wanting to feel Chris’s lips on him.

Chris moved his head lower, trailing soft kisses as he went, flicking his tongue out at Justin’s belly button, electing a soft laugh. He took one last look up at the boy before gently taking him in his mouth.

Justin groaned at the sudden warmth on him and his hips raised off the mattress, pushing himself into Chris’s mouth. Chris slowly began to lick Justin from base to tip, taking his time, driving Justin crazy with desire. His mouth descended on Justin, his hand moving lower, underneath Justin to cup him, gently kneading him, knowing exactly where to touch him to draw the most pleasure.

Justin’s hands gripped the sheets under him, his head was thrown back in pleasure, his mouth open, his breath ragged. He had never known any feeling like this before, he had never had such pleasure, such sweet torture. He had never felt so much love from anyone ever before, and he hated to see it end.

Chris moved his hand to Justin’s shaft, moving up and down in time with his mouth. He heard Justin’s sudden intake of breath, felt him start to tense, and he knew he was ready to explode. Chris began to move faster, his hand pumping, occasionally drifting to the sac underneath and he heard Justin moan his name seconds before he felt him release into his mouth.

Chris swallowed everything Justin had to offer and kissed his softening erection gently before raising his eyes to him. Justin lay on the bed, spent. His left arm was at his side, gently stroking Chris’s hair, his right was thrown over his face. His mouth was open, his breath coming out in short bursts. His hair was sticking up, the curls wild. Chris kissed his way over Justin’s stomach and chest, resting on top of him, his chin on his hands on Justin’s chest.

Justin moved his arm off his face and opened one eye to look down at Chris. “Damn,” he said, grinning softly.

Chris smiled, “You okay?”

Justin groaned and pulled Chris up to him, their lips even, their noses touching. Looking into his eyes, Justin replied, “Never been better.” He gently kissed him, almost chastely before pulling back. “Give me a minute, okay?”

Chris laughed softly, “Take your time.”

He began to roll off Justin, but Justin wrapped his arms around him, holding him close, “No, give me a minute, and then I’m going to repay you.”

Chris shook his head, “You don’t have to, Justin.”

Justin opened his eyes, “I know I don’t have to, Chris. I want to.” He grinned crookedly, “But right now I don’t think I can move, so just give me a minute.”

Chris laughed, “And you call me the old man.”

Justin rolled over, successfully pinning Chris beneath him. “Just wait, Chris. After I’m through with you, you won’t be able to move.” He grinned, “I am, after all, the greatest you’ll ever have.”

Chris rolled his eyes, but didn’t respond.

He had a feeling what Justin said was true.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Time passed rather quickly for Justin. Between basketball practice every night there weren’t games, the basketball games twice a week, working for Chris, and studying for his midterms, Justin had enough to keep his mind occupied. And when he didn’t have anything that had to do with school, he had Chris.

Justin found that if he worked the night that Chris had a night class, he would actually get more work done. He had tried to do his job with Chris in his office one night, and it had been a disaster. Not that Chris had minded, they were both obviously easily distracted by the other, in turn, neither got anything accomplished. Therefore, Justin began working once a week for three hours instead of two or three times a week for an hour.

Thanksgiving was upon them almost before they knew it. Joey informed him that JC’s parents were going up North for the holiday to visit family, but his and Lance’s parents were coming to the house. Of course, Justin was told he could invite his mother, and Chris was invited as well. Justin’s mom had told him she was going to his step-father’s family for the holiday, and Justin breathed a sigh of relief. He wasn’t ready to face the music with his mother quite yet.

There were some reservations with the five when they spoke of Chris attending Thanksgiving. It would be the first time Chris would be around when there were others to maybe find out about his relationship with Justin. Joey told him he wouldn’t invite Nakia, who he’d been spending a lot of time with lately, so Chris wouldn’t have to worry about another student seeing him at their house. In the end, it was decided that Joey and Lance’s parents could be trusted, although, Chris and Justin would just act like nothing was going on, keep up a friendly façade instead of the normal boyfriend show they usually displayed.

Justin was sitting at the kitchen table, watching in amusement as Lance tried to figure out how exactly to get the giblets out of the turkey, waiting for Chris to arrive.

“Lance, just stick your damn hand up it,” Joey was saying.

Lance made a face, “You do it.”

Joey rolled his eyes, “No. You’re the one who thought he’d get out of the hard part by making the turkey, remember? I’m in charge of the extras.” Joey motioned to the stuffing, potatoes and bags of frozen vegetables that rested on the counter.

Lance gritted his teeth and pushed his sleeve up, muttering about Joey under his breath. Taking a deep breath, he reached out for the turkey.

“Oh for God’s sake, Lance,” Joey pushed him out of the way. Pulling out the insides of the turkey, Joey began to prepare it to go in the oven.

Lance grinned and slid into a seat across the table from Justin. “It’s too easy,” he said quietly. Justin turned his questioning gaze onto Lance. Lance motioned to Joey, “All you have to do is pretend to not know how to do something, and Joey will get so pissed off at you, he’ll just do it himself.”

Justin laughed at Lance, who sat back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest triumphantly. He laughed harder when Joey called to him from the stove. “I know what you did, Lance, and don’t think you’re going to get out of helping me make the potatoes. Get over here and start peeling.”

The smile dropped off Lance’s face and he pushed his chair back. “Where the hell is Josh? How did he get out of this?”

Justin stood as the doorbell rang, “You should know where he is, Lance, he is your boyfriend after all.”

Lance nodded, “I know, and I should have broken him of his habit of sleeping until two o’clock a long time ago.” JC was upstairs in bed and had yet to show his face.

“I think it’s all a ploy,” Justin said, leaving the room, “I don’t think he’s actually sleeping, I think he’s just pretending to get out of kitchen duty.” He left the kitchen and moved to the door, thinking Chris must be early. Pulling open the door, Justin saw two strangers who were awfully familiar.

“You must be Justin,” the woman, who Justin knew just by looking at her was Lance’s mother. If he dressed Lance in a blouse and a skirt, this is what he would look like. She leaned forward and pulled Justin into a quick hug, “It’s nice to meet you, honey,” she said with an accent, “We’ve heard a lot about you.”

The man that was with her stuck out his hand, “Hello Justin, I’m Joe.” Justin shook his head, amazed. He had the feeling he was looking at Joey in twenty years.

Stepping back from the door, he said, “Come on in. Lance and Joey are in the kitchen.”

Lance’s mom shrugged off her coat, and Justin reached out to take it from her. “Where’s JC?” she asked.

“I’m right here, Diane,” he said, coming down the steps. When he reached the bottom, he pulled her into a hug, “You’re looking good,” he said.

Diane laughed and pushed him away, “JC, I already like you,” she teased, “you don’t have to flatter me to get my approval.”

JC looked offended, “Would I do that?” He shared a grin with her before turning to Joe, “Hi Joe, what’s going on?”

Joe shook his head as he took JC’s outstretched hand, “Not too much. Same old, same old, you know?”

“I see you met Justin,” JC said as Justin hung their coats up in the closet. “Justin, in case you couldn’t tell, this is Joey’s dad and Lance’s mom. Just call them Joe and Diane or they get really pissed off,” he said in a loud whisper.

“Now, JC,” Joe said, moving towards the kitchen, “Don’t tell the boy that, we don’t want to scare him.”

JC grinned at Justin as they disappeared into the kitchen; “They’re really great parents, aren’t they?”

Justin’s eyes were wide, “My God, they look just like them!”

JC laughed, “I know, weird, isn’t it? And Lance looks like his dad, too, which is even weirder. I mean, how can you look just like both parents?” He leaned closer to Justin, “I think it was some weird Mississippi thing,” he said quietly.

“You mean like his parents were brother and sister?” Justin said, his eyes twinkling.

“You said that, not me,” JC grinned as the doorbell rang again. “That’s probably Chris, I’ll leave you two alone for a few minutes.” He moved to the kitchen and Justin turned towards the door.

“Hey,” he said when he saw Chris on the porch.

“Hey there,” Chris grinned, stepping inside and waiting until Justin closed the door before kissing him. Pulling away, he handing Justin the two bottles of wine he brought.

Justin raised an eyebrow, “Trying to get me drunk?”

“You can’t have any,” Chris told him, “you’re just a kid, you’re not old enough to drink.” He smiled at Justin’s pout and leaned close, his voice at Justin’s ear. “But if you’re really nice, I’ll sneak you some of mine.” Chris’s tongue reached out and licked Justin’s neck right below his ear, before he gently bit Justin’s earlobe.

Justin closed his eyes and moaned Chris’s name softly. “Why do you have to do that now?” he complained. “Joey’s dad and Lance’s mom are here already.”

Chris pulled away and ran a hand over Justin’s unruly curls, “Don’t worry, baby, we’ll have plenty of time later.” He kissed him again and tugged on his arm, “Come on, let’s put the wine in the fridge.”

Justin followed Chris, trying not to look at the way his baggy jeans pulled against his ass, trying not to notice the pieces of hair that were out of place on his head, pieces of hair that he wanted to reach out and smooth down, trying not to notice the way Chris turned and grinned and winked at him before moving into the kitchen.

This was going to be a long dinner.

*****

“So,” Diane said to Justin as he raised his glass to his lips, “How long have you two been together?”

Justin practically choked on his water, and he saw Chris freeze in his motion of raising turkey to his lips.

“Mom!” Lance exclaimed.

Diane looked at him, “What? I’m just curious.”

Lance put his head in his hands and closed his eyes. JC reached out and rubbed his back, and Joey looked at Chris and Justin with a huge grin on his face.

“Um, we’re not...” Chris started.

Diane rolled her eyes, “Oh please,” she said with a smile on her face. “I can see that you are. You two are just how JC and Lance were when they didn’t want to tell us they were together.”

“Mom!” Lance said again, his face going red.

“Lance, look at them,” she said to him. “They’re trying to avoid looking at each other so much that they’ve kept their faces buried in their plates all night. But they can’t help sneaking glances when they don’t think anyone’s watching.” She motioned to him and JC, “You two did the same thing.”

Joe nodded, “She’s right, you know.” He leaned forward, “you may as well fess up to it, she has a way of getting you to admit these things.” He grinned, “You should have seen what she put poor Lance and JC through, and he’s her son. I’d hate to see what she’d do to you.”

Diane slapped her husbands arm playfully, “Now stop, Joe. I’m not going to do anything.”

Chris cleared his throat, “We’ve been together for a couple months now.” He looked up at Diane, “The thing is, we can’t tell anyone about it.”

She nodded, “I understand. I would think teacher-student relationships are frowned upon.”

Chris laughed shortly, “That’s putting it mildly.”

Diane smiled at them, “Don’t worry, we won’t say anything. The only reason I brought it up is because I want you two to feel comfortable around us.”

Justin smiled at her, “Thanks.” He glanced at Chris, who was smiling at him, and reached out and took his hand. He squeezed it gently before dropping it to resume eating.

Conversation resumed around the table, the topics ranging from the basketball season to the now impending finals the boys had to take. Chris and Joe got into a debate about politics, something everyone else wisely decided to keep quiet about. Joey stopped it by setting a plate of apple pie in front of his dad, effectively ending the debate.

When Chris sat back in his chair, and reached for Justin’s hand, setting it lightly on his thigh, rubbing the back of it with his thumb, realization hit Justin.

He was officially in love.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Chris flopped onto Justin’s bed, resting against the headboard.

“Well, that was…interesting,” he said to Justin, who was closing the door behind them.

“Why?” Justin asked, locking the door.

Chris raised an eyebrow, “Are you kidding? Lance’s mom must be a freaking saint or something! I was expecting a lecture on how this relationship is wrong, and she gives us her blessing!” He shook his head, “Lance is really lucky.”

Justin crossed over to the bed, “You know what?”

Chris reached up and ran a hand over Justin’s arm, pulling him closer so his knees were against the edge of the bed, “What?”

Justin grinned down at him, “I don’t want to talk about Lance’s mom.” He knelt on the bed and crawled up over Chris’s legs, “I don’t want to talk about Joey’s dad,” he continued up the bed, sitting on Chris’s extended legs, “I don’t want to talk about Joey,” he leaned forward, his lips inches from Chris’s, “I don’t want to talk about Lance,” he brushed his lips across Chris’s, “and I don’t want to talk about JC.” Justin pulled away and cocked his head, “Do you see where I’m going with this?”

Chris grinned and put his hands on Justin’s hips, “I’m guessing you don’t want to talk?”

Justin bit his lip and looked at Chris through hooded lids, “Uh uh,” he said.

Chris’s hand moved up Justin’s back, resting at his neck, playing with the curls, “Well, what do you want to do?” he asked softly.

Justin grinned seductively and leaned forward, his lips at Chris’s ear, “I want to fuck you.”

Chris’s eyes widened, his mouth dropped open, and his heart hammered in his chest, “excuse me?”

Justin pulled back from his ear and looked at him, “I think you heard me.”

“I hope I did,” Chris muttered. Looking at Justin, he asked, “What brought this on?”

Justin shrugged, “I can’t just want to have sex with my boyfriend?” He began to unbutton Chris’s shirt, placing his lips on his bare chest at each button.

Chris groaned and pushed him away, “You can, but…isn’t this kind of sudden? I mean…” he blew out his breath, “Jesus, Justin, I was not expecting this!”

“So?” Justin grinned.

Chris threw up his hands, “So, I’m just in shock, God, I’m not even prepared for something like this, if you know what I mean.”

Justin grinned mischievously and jumped off the bed, “Wait here.” He walked towards his closet and opened the door. Chris watched as he reached into the bottom and pulled out a sneaker. As he moved towards the bed, he pulled something out of the shoe. Dropping the contents on Chris’s lap, he grinned, “I stole it from Lance and JC.”

Chris began to laugh as he picked up the things in his lap, “You stole condoms and lube from them? Kid, you’re priceless.” He couldn’t stop laughing as Justin pouted. “Won’t they miss this?”

Justin grinned, “Well, from some of the sounds coming from their room, I think they’re doing just fine without it.” He put his hands on his hips as he looked down at Chris, “Will you stop laughing at me?”

“Justin, I’m not laughing at you,” Chris said. “Come here,” he hooked a finger through Justin’s belt loop and pulled him onto the bed. His eyes turned serious as he looked at Justin, “Are you sure about this?”

Justin met his gaze, “Do you know what I realized at dinner tonight?”

Chris blinked at the sudden change in subject, “Uh, that Joey can eat a lot?”

Justin rolled his eyes, “Chris, I live with him, I realized that a long time ago.” He smiled at Chris softly, “No, I realized that I love you.” A smile played at the corner of Chris’s mouth as Justin spoke, “Somewhere between the mashed potatoes and the apple pie I realized that I loved you.” Justin sat up and looked intently at him, “And I don’t want this to go away. I want to be with you, I want to make you happy.” Justin blushed and looked down at the comforter that covered his bed.

“Oh, Justin,” Chris said, “you don’t have to make love to me to make me happy.” He moved closer to Justin and raised his chin, forcing the younger man to meet his gaze, “just being here makes me happy.” Justin rolled his eyes, “I’m serious,” Chris grinned.

Justin blew out a breath, “Fine, just being here makes you happy. But I want to make love to you, why is that so wrong? Why are you fighting me on this, don’t you want to?”

Chris pulled him into a hug, “God, Justin, I would love nothing more than to take you in my arms and let you have your way with me. I just don’t want you to regret this in the morning. This is a huge step, and I really want you to think about it.”

Justin pulled away, “I have thought about it! Chris, when I leave your house after we’ve fooled around or whatever, all I can think about is what it would be like to take the next step! I don’t want you to stop; I don’t want to stop! I want to do this!”

Chris studied Justin’s face, searching for any uncertainty. Finding none, he smiled, “Promise me you won’t regret this?”

A smile began to light up Justin’s face, “I promise,” he said.

Chris reached up and stroked Justin’s cheek, “There’s just one thing, then.”

Justin sighed and rolled his eyes, “What?”

Chris smiled, “I love you, too.”

The hand that was on Justin’s cheek wrapped around to the back of his neck, drawing him closer to Chris. Their lips met in a tentative kiss, Chris making sure Justin wanted to do this. Justin whimpered against his mouth, and leaned into him, forcing him to lie back on the bed.

Chris lie underneath Justin, their lips not breaking contact, their bodies touching. Justin’s hands were between them, moving over Chris’s chest, working at each of the buttons on his shirt. Justin moved his lips from Chris’s mouth and trailed small kisses over his jaw, down his neck to the hollow of Chris’s throat. Chris tilted his head back, allowing Justin full access to his sensitive neck.

Justin kissed lower, remembering special spots, secret places that made Chris wither beneath him. A tongue lashed out over his collarbone, teeth gently bit a nipple, lips covered a spot just beneath his ribs. The shirt now lie open beneath Chris, pushed off his shoulders and torso, forgotten about by both men.

Justin took his time exploring Chris’s upper body. His tongue licked everywhere, not missing a spot in his journey. Chris moaned Justin’s name, his hand wrapped in the golden curls on top of his head. Gently tugging on his hair, Chris pulled Justin towards him, needing to feel his lips. Their mouths met in a fury, tongues tasting, not able to get enough. Justin’s shirt was quickly discarded, Chris’s mouth attaching itself to an erect nipple. Justin hissed as Chris’s tongue swirled around the sensitive area.

“Chris,” he moaned, his head thrown back, his eyes shut. Dropping his head to his chest, he looked down at Chris, admiring the man beneath him. He dropped lower, once again capturing his lips as his own. Not able to wait any longer, Justin’s hand moved down Chris’s glistening body to the waistband of the jeans he wore. Justin kneaded him through the material, smiling as Chris bucked his hips into Justin’s hand. Breaking the kiss, Justin moved his body down Chris’s, leaving a wet trail with his tongue to mark the path. He felt Chris twitch beneath his hand when he realized what Justin was going to do.

Justin removed his mouth from Chris’s stomach to sit up and smile seductively down at him. “I love you,” he breathed again.

Chris’s eyes were half shut with desire, his tongue snaking out to wet his lips as Justin unbuttoned his jeans, “I love you, too, Kid,” he said.

Justin wrinkled his nose and said, “I am not a kid.” As if to prove his point, he pushed the jeans off Chris’s hips, taking the boxer shorts with them, and leaned down, putting the tip of Chris into his mouth. Chris groaned in pleasure, his hips moving up, trying to gain entrance into Justin’s hot mouth.

But Justin wasn’t having any of that. He pulled his lips back as Chris bucked up to meet him, and simply swirled his tongue around the tip, tasting the salty precum that came out at his touch. He looked up to see Chris, his mouth open in pleasure, his eyes shut. Smiling, knowing he was the cause of that reaction, Justin dipped his head, taking Chris all the way into his mouth.

“Jesus, Justin,” Chris moaned, sighing in pleasure. His hand once again found Justin’s curls, his fingers gently rubbing the scalp beneath them. Justin moved in a slow rhythm, his hand matching his speed, quickly becoming slick with his own saliva.

“You have to stop,” Chris said, sitting up slowly.

Justin raised his eyes, “Why?”

“Because if you don’t, I’m going to explode,” Chris captured Justin’s lips, “and I want to wait until you’re making love to me,” he whispered against them.

Justin moaned and pulled Chris closer, “I really want this.”

Chris kissed Justin, turning him so he was now beneath Chris, “I do, too.” He moved his hand over Justin’s bulge, feeling the hardness beneath the khakis. Quickly, he unbuttoned the top button, moving the zipper over his erection, pushing the material out of the way. He moved over Justin’s chest in much the same way Justin did to him, not stopping until he was even with Justin’s waist.

Sitting up, he tugged off Justin’s pants so both men were naked. He ran his hands up Justin’s legs, feeling the fine hair beneath them, stopping once again at Justin’s core. He leaned forward, taking Justin in his mouth all at once, not bothering with the simple pleasures Justin bestowed on him.

“God,” Justin said, groaning. He threw his arms over his head, not able to stop his hips from moving in time with Chris.

Chris looked up at the bed, searching for the items Justin dropped on his lap earlier. Finding them, he ripped open the condom package with his teeth, dropping the empty wrapper on the floor. He slid the condom over Justin, and looked up to see Justin watching him.

“What?” he smiled at him.

Justin shook his head, “Nothing. Just watching you.”

“Well, stop,” Chris said as he opening the tube of lubricant, “you’re making me nervous.” He squirted some of the lube on his hand and wrapped it around Justin, causing him to throw his head back and close his eyes. Chris kissed him on the nose, “Okay, babe, get up.”

Chris switched places with Justin, lying on his back, his knees bent. Justin bit his lip, “Do I have to…” his voice trailed off as he looked down at Chris.

Chris smiled gently, “Well, I’d appreciate it if you put some on me, too.”

Justin nodded and took the tube out of Chris’s hand. Squeezing some on his finger, he reached under Chris and gently stuck his finger inside. Hearing Chris hiss, he looked up startled, afraid he did something wrong. But when he looked at Chris, his head was tilted back in pleasure, and his tongue was between his lips, a sign that he was doing just fine.

Justin removed his hand and looked down at Chris, “Okay?” When Chris nodded, Justin said, “Stop me if I’m doing something wrong.”

Chris groaned, “You’re fine, believe me,” he muttered, his eyes shut.

Justin smiled to himself and dipped his head, kissing Chris’s chest. “Okay,” he said, moving up his body. His lips were on Chris’s as he paused at his entrance, suddenly timid. Chris moaned softly when he felt Justin near him, and wiggled his hips.

“Justin,” Chris pleaded, “please, don’t think,” he opened his eyes and met Justin’s worried gaze, “just do.”

Justin nodded sheepishly and moved forward, pressing against Chris’s opening. Chris hissed as Justin entered him, causing Justin to halt his movements. “No,” Chris said, his hands on Justin’s back, “keep going, just go slow at first.”

Justin entered Chris slowly, feeling him tight around his erection. The pleasure was so intense, so overwhelming, that when he was all the way inside of Chris, he gasped, resting his forehead on Chris’s chest, taking in a deep breath.

“Jesus,” Justin breathed, “you’re so tight.”

Chris pushed the hair off of Justin’s forehead, “Ready, babe?” Justin nodded against his chest and lifted his head, attacking Chris’s mouth, forcing his tongue inside as he began a steady rhythm against his hips. Chris pulled Justin closer, his hands tangling in the curls, dampened with sweat. Justin broke the kiss and rested his head on Chris’s shoulder; his breath coming out in short gasps against his skin.

Chris’s erection was pressed between their stomachs, and he moaned at the double pleasure of Justin and their bodies rubbing against him. He wrapped his arms around Justin’s back, slowing him down, drawing out their first time. Justin settled into an easy pace, wrapping his hand around Chris’s shaft, as if suddenly remembering it was being neglected.

“Chris,” Justin moaned, “I think I’m going to cum.”

Chris smiled against his ear, “Go ahead baby, you won’t knock me up.”

Justin chucked shortly and picked up the pace of his thrusts, grunting as he thrust into Chris, panting with the exertion. His hand moved up and down on Chris quicker with his own desire, and Chris felt his own orgasm building within him. He opened his eyes to see Justin looking down at him, his blue eyes clouded with lust, desire, and love. The golden curls that Chris adored fell onto his forehead, his cheeks were flushed, his mouth open so Chris could feel his short bursts of breath on his face. Justin didn’t break eye contact as he leaned forward and rested his forehead against Chris’s. Chris exploded as Justin gazed into his eyes and smiled.

Justin felt Chris cum onto his hand and he grinned as he closed his eyes. Knowing he was the cause of such pleasure, knowing he put that smile on Chris’s angel face, knowing that Chris was in love with him was enough to send him over the edge.

“God, Chris,” Justin said as he let himself go. He gasped as the aftereffects of his orgasm overtook him, and with a final moan, he collapsed on Chris’s chest.

Chris ran his hand over the back of Justin’s head, letting him rest on his shoulder, feeling his heartbeat between them. After a minute, Justin raised his head, his eyes still glassy.

“Was it okay?”

Chris laughed, “Are you kidding me?” He kissed Justin’s mouth, “are you sure you never did that before?”

Justin ducked his head, blushing, “Trust me, I would have remembered something like that.” He rolled off Chris, and headed towards the bathroom to dispose of the condom. He grabbed a washcloth before he came back into the room. Handing it to Chris, he lie back down next to him. “Can I ask you something?”

Chris shrugged, “Sure.”

Justin rolled so he was facing Chris. Running his hand along Chris’s chest, he asked, “Does it hurt?”

Chris laughed, “Yeah, it hurts. But you get used to it.” He tossed the washcloth on the ground, “It’s only really bad your first couple of times. After that,” he waved his hand, “you don’t even think about it.”

Justin made a face, “How can you not even think about it?”

Chris laughed again at his expression, “Justin, it’s bad, but it’s not that bad. Trust me, the pleasure outweighs the pain.” He pulled Justin close to him, “Now, come here.”

Justin settled in his arms, and took a deep breath. “When can I try it?”

“Try it?” Chris smiled.

Justin shrugged under his arms, “Yeah, I want you to make love to me.”

Chris smoothed his hair down and shook his head, “No. You’re not ready.”

Justin half sat up before Chris pulled him back down. “How do you know if I’m ready or not?” he asked, indignant.

“Justin, I saw your face when you asked if it hurt. You’re still scared, and you being scared coupled with something going into you where you’ve never had anything go before is not a good combination.”

Justin sighed, knowing Chris was right. “But I want to,” he pouted.

Chris rolled his eyes, “No.” He put his hand over Justin’s mouth when he felt him take a deep breath to argue. “We are not going to argue about this, Justin,” he said sternly. “I’m not going to do anything that I don’t think you’re ready for.”

Justin didn’t answer, and Chris just knew he was pouting. But Chris didn’t care. He was not going to take advantage of Justin’s youthful curiosity when he knew for a fact that the young man wasn’t ready for that step. Chris remembered his first time, and there were plenty of occasions where he thought he should have waited, but did things to please others. He was not going to do that to Justin. He cared for him too much; he loved him that much.

“Justin,” Chris said softly, “don’t pout.”

Justin mumbled into his chest, “I’m not pouting.”

Chris could hear the smile in his voice. “Yeah right. You pout more than anyone I know,” he teased, knowing that would get a rise out of him.

Justin slapped his stomach, “I do not.”

Chris tightened his grip on Justin, “Okay, you don’t.” He glanced at the clock, “Now, go to sleep, we have shopping to do tomorrow,” he reached out and shut off the lamp on the bedstand.

“Shopping?” Justin asked, “I don’t think so. It’s Black Friday, the store’s are going to be crazy!”

Chris kissed the top of his head, “We’re getting up early. Wal-Mart’s having a huge sale.”

Justin snorted, “You can take your ass to Wal-Mart at six in the morning, for all I care. Wake me when you get home.”

“Hey, Just?” Chris asked.

Justin turned to look up at him, “Yeah?”

“I love you.”

Justin smiled in the darkness, “I love you, too.” He turned and lie his head back on Chris’s chest, “But I’m still not going to Wal-Mart.”

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Chris sat at his desk, his attention focused on the new Game Boy in his hand. It was one of his many purchases at Wal Mart on Black Friday. He was unsuccessful in dragging Justin out of bed at four thirty, but Lance was up and making coffee, so the two of them braved the crowds at the center. Chris found out that Lance did a lot of his shopping on the busiest day of the year.

“I blame my mother,” he had said, shaking his head, “she used to drag me and Stacy out at the crack of dawn. I guess I never grew out of it.” He grinned at Chris and in a stage whisper said, “I think this is the first sign of being gay.”

So there they were, two grown men, shopping in the toy department of Wal Mart like a bunch of five year olds, picking up the latest action figures, board games, and electronic gadgets that the supercenter had to offer. In the end, they had spent way too much money, not only going to Wal Mart, but the mall, Best Buy, and even Bed, Bath, and Beyond. Chris even talked Lance into getting himself a Game Boy, using the logic that Joey was on the Play Station so much that Lance wouldn’t have a chance to use it.

A knock on his open door caused Chris to look up. He paused the game when he saw who was on the threshold of his office and suppressed a sigh.

“Hello, Chris,” John Graver said, moving into the room.

“John,” Chris said simply.

John shut the office door behind him, and Chris wrinkled his brow. This was unusual, he thought, John coming in and shutting the door, giving the two privacy.

“Can I help you with something?” Chris asked when the other man sat in a chair.

John smiled snidely, “Oh, am I keeping you from something?” he asked, motioning to the Game Boy.

Chris shut off the game, knowing he wouldn’t have a chance to get back to it any time soon. “What do you want?”

John lifted his hands, “What? I can’t just stop by and say hi?” Chris raised his eyebrows and John continued, “Aren’t you going to ask me how my Thanksgiving was?”

Chris sighed, playing along, “Fine, how was your Thanksgiving?”

John sat back and crossed his leg over his knee, “It was okay. My wife and I had to go to her family, and her mother can be a real bitch, so it wasn’t great, but I didn’t have to cook, so I can’t really complain.” He looked at Chris before lifting a hand and causally examining his nails, “How was yours?”

“Great,” he said, a memory of Justin, naked and moving over top of him flashing in his mind.

John raised his eyes from the examination of his nails to meet Chris’s suspicious gaze, “That’s it? Just great? Where did you go?”

Chris narrowed his eyes, “What do you care?”

John shrugged, standing and moving to the window that was on the far wall, “No reason. I just know that you and your boyfriend had broken up. I’m surprised to hear that you had a good holiday.” He glanced over his shoulder at Chris, “You didn’t spend it alone?”

Chris shook his head, “No.”

“Where did you go?” John asked, turning to face him, his gaze direct.

“None of your damn business, Graver,” Chris said between gritted teeth.

John smiled an infuriating half smile and nodded slightly. “You’ve been to a lot of the basketball games this season, Chris.”

Chris’s heart began to beat faster and he felt his breathing become shallower. “So what?” he asked, somehow managing to keep his voice even.

John shrugged, the smile on his lips not quite reaching his eyes. “So, you never went to all the games any other year. I was just wondering what was so interesting this year.” His gaze was hard, not wavering, and Chris forced himself not to squirm. As if he knew the torture he was inflicting on Chris, John continued, “Could it be your new,” he cleared his throat, “assistant?”

Chris’s eyes darkened, and he stood up, “What are you implying?”

John shrugged, “Nothing, really. I just noticed you at the games with Chasez’s boyfriend. I know they all live together…”

“How do you know that?” Chris demanded.

John laughed, “I talked to the coach, he told me.” He raised an eyebrow, “Getting defensive, are we?” He returned to the desk, opting to stand in front of it, eye to eye with Chris. “I know where they live,” he said, his voice even and steady, his gaze the same. “And I saw your car there on Thanksgiving. I also saw it there late at night when my wife and I were leaving her parent’s house, who happen to live down the street.” His lips twisted into a sardonic smile, “Anything you want to share, Kirkpatrick?”

“Get out,” Chris said. He felt like he had been punched in the gut. Of all people, John Graver saw his car at Justin’s house. Chris’s closely guarded secret was going to become public knowledge. He was going to be forced to quit his job, it was going to go on his record that he had an affair with a student, and he’d never be able to teach again.

John laughed, “Oh, Chris, calm down. I wouldn’t want that temper to get out of control just yet. I’m not finished.”

Chris’s hand found a pen on his desk, his hand curling around it, squeezing it to keep from lashing out. “Say what you have to say and get the fuck out.”

John leaned across the desk, “I know you’re fucking that Timberlake kid, Chris. I see you at the games, watching his ass run up and down the court, I saw you in the parking lot after the first game, hugging him.” He laughed bitterly, “Imagine my shock when I saw that. I thought it could just be a friendly hug, maybe you got close to him because of him working for you, and you were congratulating him on the great game. But then he got in your car, and you went to your house, and you didn’t leave all night. What was I supposed to think?”

Chris felt his anger rise to the surface, “You followed me?” he practically screamed. “You’re sick!”

John arched his eyebrows, “I’m sick? Chris, I’m just protecting the students. He’s a nineteen year old kid, for Christ’s sake!” He waved his hand, “That doesn’t matter. I forgot about it,” he glared when Chris snorted, “But I watched you after that. I noticed the way your gaze followed him, I noticed his face light up when he saw you in the stands, I noticed the friendly way you acted with Timberlake’s friends, it was like you were friends with them as well.” He rubbed his hands together, “But when I saw your car at his house, it was priceless. What would you be doing there if things were innocent between you?”

Chris took a deep breath, “What do you want?”

John smiled, “Are you bribing me?”

Chris shook his head, “I just want to know why you’re doing this to me.”

John’s gaze turned cold, “You don’t belong here, Kirkpatrick. We don’t need your kind teaching our children. I have been waiting for years for you to fuck up. I thought you were never going to do it. I thought you were going to be perfect, never give me an opportunity to get you the hell out of this University.” His lips twisted into an evil smile, “But then you hand this to me on a silver platter. Imagine the scandal, Professor has gay love affair with his student.” His eyes narrowed, “Priceless.”

Chris’s whole body was shaking, his knees were ready to give out, his legs couldn’t support his weight. He sat in his chair, his breath knocked out of him, his heart beating a mile a minute, his eyes closed against the man before him. A hand came up to rub his temple and when he spoke, his voice was hoarse, “What do you want?”

John sat down, “Now I will answer that question. I want you to break up with your little boy toy.” Chris’s head shot up and John nodded, “You don’t break up with him, Chris, and I’ll take this to the Dean.”

Chris felt the wetness behind his eyes, but he refused to let John see it. “Why? Would that make you feel like you have the power, John? Breaking the heart of a kid just so you feel like you’re the big shit?”

“I just want you to suffer, Chris, this has nothing to do with Timberlake.” He clasped his hands, “So break up with him, or everyone finds out.”

“How do I know that you won’t tell anyone anyway?”

John grinned, “I guess you’ll just have to trust me on this one, Chris.” He stood and made his way to the door. “You have until the end of the week.”

“Why are you doing this? What have I ever done to you?” Chris heard the scared tone of his voice, and he hated it.

John stopped, his hand on the doorknob, “It’s not just you, Chris,” he said, “it’s all of your kind. You don’t deserve to teach, to mold the minds of students.”

“My kind,” Chris repeated, “and I’m assuming by that you mean gay people.”

“Yes. Gay people,” John spit out. “It’s immoral, it’s a sin, and no one should have to be exposed to it.” He turned back to the door, “Have a nice day,” he said, opening it, and running into Justin. He grinned, “Oh, look who it is, your assistant.” He flashed Justin a grin, “how are you doing, Justin?”

Justin glanced at John, pulling his gaze away from Chris, who looked like he was about to crawl into a corner and die, “Fine,” he muttered, distracted.

John grinned, “That’s good.” He placed his hand on Justin’s shoulder, “Have a nice day.”

“Don’t touch him,” Chris practically growled at John, garnering a surprised look from Justin.

John removed his hands and raised them, “Sorry,” he said, backing out of the room. He gave Justin one last smirk before he disappeared around the corner.

Justin couldn’t move his gaze from Chris. He watched as Chris picked up a book that was sitting on his desk and throw it against the far wall, the resounding thud making Justin wince and Chris throw another book. Justin shut the office door, locking it behind him and turned back to his boyfriend. He had stopped his assault on the wall, and was now sitting behind the desk, his head in his hands, his fingers raking through his hair.

Justin didn’t know what to do. He had never seen Chris this angry or upset. He had never seen so much rage in Chris’s normally gentle eyes, so much fury on a face Justin thought was incapable of looking mad.

“Chris,” he said tentatively, taking a small step towards the desk. “What happened? What’s wrong?” Chris didn’t answer right away, shaking his head, his eyes on the desk. Justin moved closer, “Chris, what did he do? Tell me!” Justin was at his side, kneeling on the floor, trying to pry Chris’s hands from his face.

Chris slumped in his chair when he felt Justin’s reassuring hands on his. He sat back, letting his hands fall from his face, letting Justin see the pain, the emotion that was written there.

Justin’s eyes grew wide, “My God,” he said, “you’re practically crying! Chris, what the hell happened here? Please, you’re scaring me.”

Chris finally looked into Justin’s azure eyes, seeing the fear behind the clear gaze. He raked his eyes over Justin’s beautiful face, taking in the way his lower lip trembled, knowing he was the cause of this. Knowing he would cause so much more pain to this boy who deserved nothing but the best.

Chris took a hold of Justin’s shoulders, pulling him close, burying his nose into Justin’s neck, and finally released the tears he was holding in. He clung to Justin like a life preserver, inhaling his scent, memorizing how Justin felt in his arms. He reached up and removed the bandanna Justin had covering his golden curls, needing to run his fingers through them like he needed to breathe.

Justin held onto Chris, rubbing his back, his own tears slowly rolling down his face. He whispered the hollow words of reassurance, but had a feeling the words were falling on deaf ears. He closed his eyes when Chris ran his fingers through his curls, pulling him closer, wondering what the hell happened in this office five minutes earlier to make Chris, normally Justin’s rock, turn into this mess in his arms.

“Are you going to tell me what happened?” Justin asked, pulling back and looking at Chris.

Chris shook his head, “Now’s not the time, Justin.”

Justin snorted, “Now’s not the time?” he repeated. “Chris, I come walking in here to find you like this, and now’s not the time?” He shook his head, “When is the right time, then?”

Chris had no idea what he was going to do. He didn’t want to let Justin go, and yet, he saw no other choice. He needed to just go home and think this through, weigh his options.

And in the meantime, he was going to have to push Justin away.

Chris abruptly stood. “I don’t know, Justin. Just leave it alone for now.”

Justin stayed where he was on the floor in front of Chris’s chair as Chris rose and crossed the room. He dropped his head, “I just want to help.”

“Well you can’t, so leave it alone!” Chris said, hating the fact that he had to do this to Justin.

Justin’s eyes welled up with tears when he heard the anger in Chris’s voice. He had no idea what was going on with Chris, he had no idea why Chris was choosing this moment to shut him out. He slowly stood. “Please, Chris, I can…”

Chris turned on him, “No! You can’t! Look, I just need to be alone, okay? Can you do that for me?”

Justin bit his lip, trying to ignore the scorn in Chris’s voice. “Sure,” he said softly. He picked up his backpack and hitched it on his back. He moved to the door, unlocking it. Pausing before he opened it, he turned back to Chris. “I love you,” he said.

Chris just looked away, staring out the window until he heard the door shut behind Justin. He rested his forehead against the glass, closing his eyes to his own pain. Opening them, he looked at the campus beneath him, to see Justin exiting the building, hastily walking towards the parking lot, his head bowed, his hand occasionally coming up to wipe his face.

Chris watched Justin until he was out of sight, turning from the window only when Justin could no longer be seen even as a speck in the distance. Moving to his desk, he spotted Justin’s tan bandanna lying on the floor near his chair.

Choking back a sob, Chris picked it up, holding the material to his nose and breathing deeply. He swallowed thickly, putting the bandanna in his briefcase before shutting it. Turning out the lights, he headed home to make the hardest decision he ever had to make.

And perhaps break the heart of the boy he loved.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

The only light in the room came from the television, which was turned on, but silent. David Letterman was on the screen, talking animatedly but no voices came from the speakers. The green letters of the word mute flashed at the top right hand corner of the screen.

Chris stared at the letters. Blink. Blink. Blink. He raised his hand with the glass in it to his lips. Blink. Blink. Blink. He had been staring at the TV for the better part of the evening, ever since he got back from campus. The almost empty bottle of Jack Daniels sat on the coffee table, calling Chris’s name, and he tore his eyes from the screen to reach for it and splash some into the tumbler in his hand.

The sun had set long ago, Chris had watched the shadows move in on his walls, and yet, he had no desire to go and watch the spectacle. The television had been turned to the news then, and while he still had it muted, he half expected to see a picture of himself next to the news casters head, his exploitations broadcast for all the world to see. He wouldn’t put that past John Graver.

Thunder cracked outside and rain spattered against the windows keeping a strange beat with the blinking mute on the screen. Closing his eyes, Chris allowed a picture of Justin to flash through his mind. He was so young, too young to have to be a part of this.

Well, who’s fault was that? Chris was the one who allowed himself to get involved, knowing it was wrong. Chris was the one who was ultimately leading Justin towards expulsion by having an affair with him. As if his eyes had been playing tricks on him the first eight million times he read the paragraph, he glanced at the teachers handbook lying next to him on the couch. His glazed eyes skimmed the paragraph.

Fraternization outside school activities is strictly prohibited. This especially includes dating. At no time should a member of faculty be involved with his or her student. Breaking this rule will lead to disciplinary action up to and including termination. The student would be expelled.

Chris threw the book across the room.

Justin was going to be expelled if he didn’t end this. Justin. His beautiful boy. His reason for getting up and going to class. Chris didn’t care what would happen to him so much, but what would happen to Justin. He could just picture Justin having to tell his family, a family that didn’t even know he was gay, that he got expelled for having relations with his professor.

Chris’s head dropped back on the couch. He had to break up with him. He had to leave the best thing that had ever happened to him. He had to break a kid’s heart just because he couldn’t keep it in his pants.

No. That wasn’t true. It was so much more than sex to Chris. He was truly in love with Justin. He didn’t need the sex in their relationship. It was enough to see him walk into a room, to see him smile, to hear him laugh. That’s all Chris needed. He didn’t need Justin moving on top of him, whispering sweet nothings in his ear, moaning his name.

It didn’t hurt, but he didn’t need it.

All he needed was Justin. And now, because of some close minded prick who had it out for him since the day he found out Chris was gay, he was going to lose the one thing he needed.

A picture of Justin flashed in Chris’s mind again. How was he going to take this? Would he scream and yell? Would he quietly accept the excuses Chris was going to make up to somehow hurt Justin less? Would he even believe anything Chris told him?

Because he couldn’t tell him the truth. He couldn’t tell him that John Graver was bribing him. Because that would seem as if he cared about his job more than he cared about Justin, and that wasn’t true. He was doing this for Justin. He was doing this so Justin could get the education he deserved, so he could make something of himself. Chris could find another job if he got terminated, that he wasn’t worried about. He could pick up and move and forget this incident ever happened.

But Justin, the kid would be scarred for life. He would have to deal with his name in the papers, his face on television, people whispering about him, talking behind his back, gossiping about how he was gay. Chris could handle all that, he was an adult, he didn’t care what people thought of him. But Justin was just a kid! His future was still being molded. Something like this could send him on a crash course.

Sure, Chris could handle the consequences if it got out to the public.

But would he be able to handle the pain of losing Justin?

*****

Justin sat on his bed, the sheets pulled up to his waist, his attention focused on the television. David Letterman was now interviewing Ryan Phillipe, and Justin idly cocked his head. People told him he looked like the young actor, but he didn’t see it.

He reached out for the phone on his night stand, intent on asking Chris his opinion, dialing the first six numbers to Chris’s house before the events he had blocked out of his mind came tumbling back to the forefront. Hanging up the phone, Justin hugged a pillow to his chest, the television forgotten, his mind on Chris.

He knew it had something to do with John Graver, that much wasn’t hard to figure out. Chris and John never got along, and seeing him in Chris’s office set off warning bells that Justin had yet to understand. John must have threatened Chris in some way; he must have said something to make Chris so upset. Justin just wished he knew what it was.

There was a soft knock on his door, and Justin looked up as it opened. JC was standing on the other side, a small smile on his face.

“What’s up, JC?” Justin asked, pointing the remote at the television to silence Letterman.

JC shrugged, “I was just wondering if you were okay.”

Justin shook his head, “Why wouldn’t I be?”

JC entered the room, sitting on the side of the bed. “You were kind of quiet at dinner, and then you came up here, holing yourself in your room all night.” He picked at a thread on the turned down quilt. “I just thought something was wrong.” JC raised his eyes to meet Justin’s, “You and Chris have a fight?”

Justin tried to keep the pained look from crossing his face, but he knew he was unsuccessful. “I don’t know, JC,” Justin whispered. His gaze dropped and he shook his head, “He was acting so strange this afternoon. I mean, one minute he was holding on to me for dear life, the next, he was acting aloof, and cold.” When he raised his eyes, JC saw tears shimmering, “I told him I loved him, and he didn’t say it back.” His voice cracked, “Why wouldn’t he say it back, JC?”

JC sighed, “Oh, Justin,” he said, pulling him into a hug, “I don’t know. What happened?”

Justin sobbed on JC’s shoulder, letting his hours of pent up frustrations out. “I don’t know. All I know is that one of the other professors was in his office when I got there, and Chris looked like he was about to either kill someone or just crawl into a hole and die. And then the other professor put his hand on my shoulder, and Chris yelled at him, as if he knew about us.” Justin pulled back, a horrified look on his face, “What if that’s it? What if this guy found out about us?” He stood and began pacing in his room. “Oh my God, JC, what am I going to do?” He reached for the phone, “I have to call Chris.”

JC took the phone from Justin’s hand. “No, you don’t. Look, you don’t know that the reason Chris is acting strange. You have to talk to him, Justin, and figure it out.” He took the phone from Justin’s hand as he picked it up again. “In person. This is not something you want to do over the phone.”

Justin growled in frustration, “God! This is stupid. I should go over there right now and find out what the hell is the matter with him! Why would he shut me out like this? Why won’t he talk to me?” Justin got up from the bed and stormed across the room to the television, poking his finger at the power button to turn it off. He picked up his shoes from the floor, “I’m going over there.”

JC stood up, “Justin, it’s midnight!”

Justin looked up at JC from his place on the floor, “So what?” He continued tying his shoe, “Look, JC, I need to know what’s going on here, okay?”

“No, it’s not okay, Justin,” JC said. “It can wait until tomorrow. Give him time to figure out what stick is up his ass and let him remove it before you go to him and apologize for something you didn’t do!”

Justin stood up angrily, “First of all, I’m not going to apologize for anything, I’m just going to find out what’s going on. Second of all, stay out of it! I know you don’t like Chris, I know you don’t approve of Chris, and I know you’re happy this is happening, so just fuck off!”

JC stood, stunned, as Justin pushed past him and opened the bedroom door. He couldn’t believe the way Justin just spoke to him. “Wait a God dammed minute, Justin,” JC said, pulling himself out of his stupor and striding down the hall after him. He caught up to Justin as he was running down the steps. “Will you wait?”

Justin whirled at the bottom of the steps to face him, “Why?” he asked, anger flashing in his eyes, “So you can lecture me again? So you can tell me I’m better off without him?” He barely noticed Lance and Joey had come into the foyer, his attention was focused on JC.

“What’s going on, guys?” Joey asked softly, looking between Justin and JC.

“Nothing, Joey,” JC said through clenched teeth, “just stay out of it.”

“Josh?” Lance asked timidly, “is everything okay?”

JC glanced away from Justin to look at Lance, “Fine,” he said softly.

Justin laughed bitterly, “Fine for you maybe! You have what you want, JC! You don’t have to fight for it, it’s standing right there!” Justin flung his arm out and motioned to Lance, “You have no idea what this is doing to me! You have no idea what the hell I’m going through knowing that Chris isn’t talking to me, isn’t telling me what the problem is! I may have unknowingly messed up the best thing that has ever happened to me, and you still think everything is fine!” He took a step closer to JC, “Well, I have news for you, everything is not fine! Everything is fucking falling apart right now, and I have to pretend that I’m okay!”

“No you don’t,” JC said to him, “You don’t have to pretend with us, Justin.”

Justin laughed bitterly, “JC, I have to pretend the most with you! God, from day one you didn’t want me with Chris, from day one you told me he was no good for me, that he would hurt me! I have to pretend that everything is just hunky dory so that you won’t get on your high horse and say I told you so! I have to act like this is nothing between us just so you’re not right!” He shook his head, “I don’t want you to be right about Chris. I don’t want him to hurt me.”

JC stared at Justin in shocked silence. Was he really that bad? Did he really talk to Justin like that in the beginning? He hung his head, “I’m sorry I made you feel that way, Justin,” he said softly. He glanced up at him, “I was just looking out for you, I didn’t want you to think that I didn’t want you with Chris.” He looked at Lance, “I’m going up to bed.” Lance nodded and JC continued, “I’m sorry, Justin, I hope everything works out for you.” He gave Justin a weak smile and turned towards the steps.

“JC,” Justin said and JC hesitated, “look, I didn’t mean...”

JC held up his hand, “It’s okay, Justin, you were right.” He turned to look at him, “Just go talk to Chris, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” He walked up the steps and disappeared around the corner.

Justin looked at Lance, “I’m sorry, Lance.”

Lance was looking up the stairs, “It’s okay, Justin. I guess he wasn’t really expecting you to say that stuff to him. Josh doesn’t know how he gets sometimes.” He rubbed his eyes under his glasses, “I’ll go talk to him, but don’t worry, he’ll be okay.” He moved to the steps, stopping next to Justin. “He really does like Chris,” Lance told him, putting a hand on his arm, “I know he may act like he doesn’t, but he knows how happy Chris makes you, and that’s all that matters to Josh.” Lance squeezed Justin’s arm, “Good luck.”

Justin dropped his head and sighed, “This is turning into a very bad day,” he muttered.

Joey smiled at him, “You need a ride? It’s raining pretty hard.”

Justin shook his head, “You don’t have to,” he said. “I don’t know how long I’m going to be there.” He shrugged on his jacket, pulling the hood over his curls.

“Here,” Joey said, moving to the desk near the door, “take my car.” He picked up a set of keys and tossed them to Justin.

Justin caught them in the air, “Thanks, Joey,” he said. “Don’t wait up.”

Joey grinned, “I wasn’t planning on it.” He watched Justin open the door, wincing at the thunder, “Be careful,” he said.

Justin nodded and ran out into the rain.

*****

Chris wasn’t sure if the pounding he heard was the rain, someone at his door, or his head. He squinted at the clock on his VCR, reading the numbers. 12:24. Probably not the door. Most likely his head. Closing his eyes, he briefly considered going upstairs to at least try to sleep when he heard the pounding again.

He sat up, wiping a hand over his face, and grimacing against the dizziness he encountered when he finally stood up. Keeping the lights off, he moved to the front door, cursing whoever was standing on the other side of it. He flung back the door with his mouth already open to yell, his words stopping in his throat when he saw Justin on the threshold.

Justin, looking like a puppy that had been kicked too many times and left in the rain, was standing on his porch. At 12:24 in the morning. His curls were matted to his head, the water running in droplets over his face, his eyes were dark, none of the inner light shining through, his mouth set in a line.

“Hey,” he said softly.

Chris blinked, “Justin?” he slurred.

“Are you drunk?” Justin asked him, staring at his eyes. Chris shrugged and Justin’s eyes widened, “Chris, you have a class at nine in the morning!”

“So what?” Chris countered.

Justin sighed but didn’t answer. If Chris was drinking, this was more serious than he had originally thought. “Can I come in?”

Chris hesitated and thought for a minute. “No,” he finally replied, pain shooting through him at the hurt expression on Justin’s face.

“What?” Justin asked softly, “why not?”

Chris sighed and leaned against the door, weary. “Just go home, Justin,” he said haltingly, “Please, it’s for the best.”

Justin looked at him, the beginnings of tears in his eyes, “Why, Chris? Why is it for the best? God, tell me what the hell is going on!”

Chris looked away, even in his state he could see the pain in Justin’s eyes and it sliced through him like a razor. “I can’t do this right now, Justin. Now is not the time.”

Justin threw up his hands, beginning to get angry. “You said that earlier, Chris! Well, you know what? Now is the time! Now has to be the time, because I can’t think of anything but you, and I hate not knowing what the hell I did to make you mad at me!”

“I’m not mad at you, Justin,” Chris said, “it’s not you, please believe that.”

Justin stepped forward on the porch, “Then what is it? Please, Chris, tell me what it is.”

Chris met Justin’s eyes. Thunder cracked in the distance, lightning lit up the black sky, and rain fell to the pavement from buckets. And Chris knew that this was the night he was going to end things with Justin.

“We have to break up.”

Justin’s face registered shock, then crumbled. His eyes spilled over with tears, his mouth moved but no sound came out. His breath was ragged, unnaturally loud against the storm behind him. Chris couldn’t tear his gaze away from Justin no matter how hard he tried.

The words hung in the air between them. Chris was glad he actually got them out, he didn’t know if he’d be able to. He watched Justin walk to the end of the porch and drop into a chair. He put his head in his hands and let out a sob. Chris stood in the doorway, wanting so bad to go to him, take him in his arms and whisper that no, they shouldn’t break up, they could face whatever John Graver threw at them together. But he knew he had no choice. He knew that this was the only way.

Justin looked up at him, his eyes red, “Why?” he asked simply. “What did I do?”

Chris hardened his resolve for what he was about to do. He not only had to break up with Justin, he had to make him hate him so much, he wouldn’t want to see him again. That was the only way to protect him from John Graver.

Chris forced a bitter laugh, “Oh, Justin,” he said. “There’s no reason, it’s just over.”

Justin stood up, “There has to be a reason, Chris! You don’t just break up with someone for no reason!”

Chris shrugged and turned his back, “Nope. I just want to break up with you. I shouldn’t have gotten involved in the first place, you know. You are a student, and it is strictly prohibited.”

Justin sputtered, “But we talked about that! We said that we would just be careful, that no one would have to know!” He touched Chris’s back, “What’s going on? What changed your mind?”

Chris shrugged off his touch, “God, Justin! I don’t have to have a reason for every little thing I do! Look, it was fun while it lasted, but now it’s over!” He turned and steeled himself to look at the boy.

Justin had moved to the steps, backing away from Chris. The tears fell off his round cheeks, over his chin and onto the windbreaker he wore. “But I love you,” Justin said softly.

Chris laughed and hardened his gaze, “Love?” he asked incredulous. “You don’t know what love is, Justin!” He narrowed his eyes, “How could you? You’re just a kid.”

Justin almost fell down the three porch steps in his haste to get away from Chris. He stood on the sidewalk leading to Chris’s house, the four words repeating in his mind. You’re just a kid. How could he use that word? A term of endearment in the past, a phrase that had made him grin so many times was now thrown in his face like a curse.

Justin nodded, not noticing the rain falling down on him. “Just a kid, huh?” he whispered.

Chris moved to the edge of the porch, keeping his emotions hidden from the boy that he loved with all his heart, wanting to hear the last words he would probably hear Justin say to him.

“Well, I know it probably doesn’t mean much to a bitter old man like yourself, but this kid gave you everything. This kid gave you his heart, this kid defended you to all his friends, and this kid came over here in the middle of the fucking night to make sure you were okay!” Justin shook his head, lowering his voice to a hard whisper, “And this kid is more than you deserve.”

With that, Justin turned on his heel and walked away.

The thunder continued to rumble, lessening in its volume.

The lightening continued to light the sky, gradually becoming bolts rather than blankets.

The rain continued to fall, slowing as the night went on.

And Chris continued to love Justin, just a kid he managed to push away.

CHAPTER TWENTY

Justin sat on the front porch swing, mindlessly pushing his foot against the ground to make the swing move. Rain fell steadily, not the buckets it had been pouring, more like a gentle spring rain. The night was dark around him, lessening in the blackness as the dawn came to greet him. He watched with a blank stare as the rain stopped and the sun came over the horizon, tearing his gaze away as a car moved down the street.

Following the approaching car with his eyes, Justin idly wondered if it was maybe Chris coming to apologize. Chris, coming to say that he was just drunk, and it was a joke, ha ha, wasn’t it funny? Chris, coming to take him in his arms, hold him close to his heart and whisper promises in his ear. Chris, coming to just see him, just take one more look at him, just so he knew how much he hurt Justin.

He was broken. And there was no way to fix him.

The tears were gone by the time the front door opened and Lance stepped onto the porch. Justin had cried all he could overnight, sitting on the swing, staring into the blackness of the front yard. He would cry no more over Chris.

Lance shut the door behind him, turning and taking a deep breath of the heavy air. He adjusted the backpack on his shoulders and moved towards the steps before he noticed Justin sitting on the swing.

“Justin?” he asked quietly, “What are you doing out here?” He moved to the side of the porch with the swing, his green eyes fixed on Justin’s face. “What happened?”

Justin lifted a shoulder and dropped it. “We broke up,” he said simply.

“What?” Lance asked, blowing a breath out in surprise. He stopped before Justin and squinted down at him. “How are you doing?”

Justin looked up at him, “Pretty fucking shitty.”

Lance shrugged his backpack off his shoulders and sat down next to Justin on the swing. “You want to talk about it?” he asked gently.

Justin shook his head. “Not really, Lance. I’ve been out here all night, going over things in my head, and I don’t have the faintest idea of what happened.” He turned his head and looked at Lance, “So, if you don’t mind, I think I want to figure it out before I get into it with anyone else.”

Lance nodded, “Fair enough.” He sat back, his arms extended on the back of the swing.

Justin looked at him in surprise, “That’s it? No arguing?”

Lance grinned, “I’m not Josh,” he reminded Justin. His face turned somber and he took his glasses off to look Justin in the eye, “Look, I know this is hard for you right now, I’m not going to make it worse by forcing you to talk. If you want to try to hash it out, you know I’m here for you.” He shook his head, “I don’t need to drag it out of you.”

Justin felt tears burn behind his eyes. “Thanks, Lance,” he whispered.

“Anytime, Justin.” Lance put his glasses back on, “Now, since you probably didn’t get any sleep, and I’m late for class anyway, I may as well not go.” Justin looked at him in surprise, and Lance snorted, “You are a bad influence on me, Timberlake.” He shifted to the far end of the swing and pulled Justin close, pushing his head on his lap. “Try to get some sleep,” he said softly as Justin curled his feet up onto the swing.

“I miss him, Lance,” Justin whispered into his leg, “It’s only been a few hours and I miss him.”

Lance softly ran his hand through Justin’s curls, “I know you do, Justin.”

“It’s just, I would see him right now if we didn’t break up. We had a nine o’clock class right now.” Justin’s fist closed around Lance’s loose khakis, “I would be seeing him right now,” he said, a sob escaping his throat.

Lance didn’t answer Justin. He continued to run his fingers through Justin’s hair, soothing him. He let Justin cry quietly onto his leg until he eventually cried himself to sleep.

Lance was debating waking Justin and making him go upstairs when JC and Joey were coming out to go to class. “Hey guys,” he said quietly, getting their attention.

JC moved to them, taking in Justin’s sleeping form and Lance’s hand in his hair, “What’s going on?” he asked.

Lance rolled his eyes, “God, Josh, really?”

Joey grinned and pushed JC, “Man, you may be the single most jealous person I have ever met in my life!”

JC ignored him and spoke to Lance, “What’s wrong with him?”

“They broke up, didn’t they?” Joey asked. Lance nodded and Joey cursed under his breath, kicking the column on the porch.

JC’s eyes hardened, “What happened? What did Chris do?”

Lance shrugged, “I don’t know, he didn’t want to talk about it.” He glanced down at Justin, “I wasn’t going to force him. When he’s ready to talk, he’ll talk.”

JC’s eyes narrowed, “Did you go to class?”

Lance shook his head, “No, he was out here when I was leaving. I think he was here all night.”

Joey tugged on JC’s sleeve, “Come on, JC. We’re going to get to the bottom of this.”

Lance eased out from under Justin as quickly and gently as he could, “Joe, where are you going? What are you going to do?”

Joey stopped on the sidewalk, “I’m going to talk to Chris.” He glanced at Justin’s sleeping form, “There’s more to this than what we’re seeing.”

“No shit, Joey!” Lance said, “Of course there’s more! We don’t know anything! And it’s none of our business until Justin says it is.”

“The hell it isn’t,” JC said to him. “Look, from day one, we were there for him. We were there when they were nothing to each other, and we were there when they were in love. We’re a part of this, too, Lance.”

Lance laughed at him, “No we’re not, Josh! We’re just his friends. We’re not involved in anything that they do behind closed doors. We don’t know what happened, and we don’t know that it’s all Chris’s fault!”

JC crossed his arms over his chest, “You think it’s Justin’s fault, then?”

Lance sighed, “That’s not what I said, Josh.” He took a step closer to the two men on the sidewalk, “All I’m saying is that there’s two sides to every story, and I don’t think you should go lynching Chris until we find out at least one of them!” He looked from Joey to JC, “Come on, guys, please, don’t do this.”

Joey and JC exchanged a look, “Fine,” JC said. “Only because I love you.”

Lance rolled his eyes, “I guess that’ll do.” He looked at Joey, “Joe? What do you say?”

Joey’s gaze was on Justin. “This isn’t fair, you know? I mean, this is the first relationship he’s had, the first real one, anyway, and he got his heart broken. I just don’t get it, guys. Chris was completely in love with him, was I the only one who saw that?”

Lance shook his head, “No, Joey. I saw it, too.”

Joey moved his eyes back to Lance, “Fine, I won’t lynch Chris. But there better be a good explanation at the end of this little drama.”

*****

Chris sat behind his desk, his head in his hands, a glass of water in front of him. He groaned at the sunlight that was making its way through the blinds into the room, shutting his eyes against it. Blindly reaching out, he grabbed hold of the aspirin bottle on the desk, opening it and shaking some into his hand all without opening his eyes.

“Morning, Chris.”

“Fuck you,” Chris growled at him.

John Graver sat in one of the chairs and crossed his legs, “How was your night?” He grinned, “I guess I’d be safe in saying it wasn’t good.”

“You know exactly how my night was, you bastard,” Chris said, fixing him with a glare.

John’s eyes narrowed, “Now Chris, you shouldn’t call people names.” He smiled, “You broke up?”

Chris dropped his head, “Yeah,” he replied thickly. “I hope you’re fucking happy.”

John stood to leave, “I am.” He opened the door. “Have a nice day.”

Chris let loose a stream of profanities, putting his head back in his hands and closing his eyes. He had all of about four hours of sleep. Sleep didn’t come easily to him the previous night, Justin was in his head and wouldn’t leave. All he could picture was Justin standing in front of his house, his tears mixing with the rain on his face, his pouty lips trembling, his glorious curls matted to his head. And then turning away, walking away from Chris and never looking back.

Somehow he had made it to his nine AM class. He forced himself to get out of bed at the last minute, hastily throwing on jeans and a button down shirt, running his fingers through his hair and sprinting out the door, hoping Justin decided to go to class. But he didn’t. Chris should have known Justin wasn’t going to show up. He probably wouldn’t show up for the remaining two classes, either.

There was a knock on his door, and Chris sighed. “What?” he asked, none too pleasantly, his head still in his hands.

“We need to talk.”

Chris glanced up in surprise as Joey let himself into his office and shut the door behind him. “Joey?” he asked, surprised, “What are you doing here?”

Joey stood in front of his desk, “I’m here to find out what the hell happened between you and Justin.” He leaned forward, his hands resting on Chris’s desk, “And I don’t want no bullshit, either, Chris.”

Chris sighed, “Why don’t you ask Justin?”

Joey laughed bitterly, “Well, maybe because Justin is asleep right now after spending the whole night on our front porch crying! Maybe because Justin doesn’t want to talk about it, because he doesn’t really understand what happened! Maybe because I want to hear about it from you.” He looked Chris in the eyes, “What happened?”

“We broke up, that’s it, end of story.” He looked away from Joey’s piercing gaze and busied himself with the aspirin bottle.

Joey sunk into a chair, “I highly doubt that’s it, Chris,” he said, his tone softer. “Look, I’m not going to beat around the bush here. I know you are in love with Justin, it’s plain as day. And I can see that you’re not really okay with this. So, save yourself the trouble of trying to think up suitable lies and tell me the truth. What the hell happened with you and Justin?”

Chris sat back in his chair, suddenly angry. Who the hell was Joey to come into his office and demand answers? He didn’t have to answer to him! He was an adult, he was free to make his own choices and not have to justify those choices to anyone.

“Look, Joey, I’m not going to talk about this with you, so you can save yourself the trouble and go home!” He glanced at Joey, his gaze softening, “Go home and make sure Justin’s okay.”

Joey snorted and shook his head, not making any attempt to get up out of his chair and leave the office. “You amaze me, Chris. I mean, there you are, trying your damnedest to be angry with me, fixing me with these glares that I’m assuming are supposed to scare me or something, when the truth is, you’re so in love with Justin that it’s killing you knowing he’s hurting. And I just don’t get it. I mean, why would you do this to him? What on earth could make you push him away?”

“You wouldn’t understand, Joey.”

Joey leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, “Try me.”

Chris studied him. “What do you care? I mean, yeah, Justin’s hurting, that much is obvious, but he’ll get over it, Joe. He’ll move on, find someone else. Why are you here, trying to get me to talk?”

“You may find this hard to believe, Chris, but you’re my friend, too.” Chris raised his eyebrows in surprise and Joey grinned, “Come on, man, we bonded or something over PlayStation. You were at my house as much as Justin was, you were there for Thanksgiving, hell, you met my parents. I like you, Chris. And I know Justin loves you, and that’s enough for me to want to keep you around.” He sat back, “That, and the fact that I kick your ass at Street Fighter.”

Chris laughed, amazed at the sound coming out of his mouth. “That has yet to be determined,” he said. Falling silent, he studied his hands for a long minute before looking up at Joey. “John Graver,” he said softly.

Joey’s brow wrinkled, “John Graver? Who’s that?”

“He’s the reason behind all this,” Chris waved his hand in the air. “He’s a professor in this department. Basically, he hates me, he found out about me and Justin, and he threatened to go to the Dean if I didn’t break it off with him.” Chris sighed, “That’s the condensed version.”

Joey leveled him with a stare, “What did you tell Justin?”

Chris ducked his head, “Nothing. I just broke up with him.” He grunted, “He really didn’t give me a chance to give him a reason.”

“Why didn’t you just tell him the truth?” Joey wanted to know. “Wouldn’t that have been easier?”

Chris stood up and began pacing, ignoring the pounding in his head, “God, Joey, I wanted to! It killed me last night to see him crumble before my eyes! But you just don’t get it. I did this to protect Justin. It may not seem like it, but I did. He could be expelled, Joe. If the University found out, I’d lose my job and he’d be expelled. I don’t want that for him. I could care less about what happens to me, I can make it somewhere else, but Justin...” Chris stopped pacing and looked at Joey, “Justin deserves better than that.”

Joey stood, “Justin deserves you,” he said softly.

Chris shook his head, “No he doesn’t. At least not while he’s my student.” He looked at his watch, “Look, Joey, I have to go to class.” Moving towards the desk, he began picking up papers and putting them in his briefcase. “Tell Justin that I’ll arrange for him to take his final at another time so he won’t have to see me.”

Joey nodded, “Okay.”

Chris hesitated at the door, “And tell him...tell him I’m sorry.” He looked at Joey, “Just don’t tell him the real reasons, Joe, please.”

“Chris...”

“No, Joe! Please. I don’t want him to feel as if I chose my job over him, because that’s not true.” He ran a hand through his hair, “Let me figure some things out, Joey, and when the time is right, I’ll tell him myself, okay?” Joey looked doubtful and Chris met his eyes, “I promise.”

Joey sighed, “Fine. But you better figure things out quick, because he deserves to know the truth.”

Chris nodded, “After finals, Joey. I promise.”

Joey watched him walk out the door, the burden on his shoulders heavy. Joey sighed and wondered how in the hell he was going to fix this.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Joey entered the kitchen, tossing his backpack on a chair and sighing as he slumped into a seat. What the hell was he supposed to do? He swore to Chris he wouldn’t tell Justin the truth, but he had a right to know, didn’t he? He should know the real reason Chris broke up with him was because he was being blackmailed, not because he didn’t love him.

“Hey Joe,” Lance said as he entered the kitchen. “How was class?” Lance moved to the refrigerator and took out an apple, leaning against the counter as he took a bite. Joey shrugged and didn’t answer and Lance cocked his head. Swallowing the bite, he asked, “You okay?”

Joey looked up at Lance and sighed. Nodding, he replied, “Yeah.”

Lance studied his stepbrother. Gone were all the traces of Joey’s ever-present smile, his eyes were downcast and dim, not sparkling with mirth as they usually were. As Lance watched, he ran his hands through his hair, stopping at his neck and rubbing the muscles. Taking another bite of his apple, Lance asked, “You sure?”

Joey shrugged wordlessly and looked at Lance. Shaking his head, he motioned to the steps, “How’s Justin doing?”

“He and Josh had practice.”

Joey raised his eyebrows, “He went to practice?”

“Yeah, he thought it would help take his mind off of Chris.” Lance shrugged, “I hope it helps. He didn’t come out of his bedroom all day.” Lance threw his finished apple into the garbage disposal and turned it on. Wiping his hands on his pants, he turned to Joey, “He’s really upset.”

Joey nodded, “I know.” He blew out a breath, “Lance, can I ask you something?”

Lance turned to him in surprise, “Sure, Joe, you know you can.” Joey motioned to the seat across the table, and Lance sat down. “What’s wrong?”

Joey rested his elbows on the table and leaned forward, “Okay, hypothetically, say you know something that might help out a situation. Would you tell even if you promised not to?”

Lance sat back in his chair and crossed his arms. “I’m gonna need a little more than that, Joey.” His eyes narrowed behind his glasses, “Is this about me and Josh?”

Joey shook his head, “No, it’s not.” Sighing heavily, he stood and began to pace. Lance sat quietly at the table, waiting for Joey to continue. “You’re sure Justin’s not here, right?”

Lance gave Joey a strange look, “Joey, I know I saw him leave. So, unless he has invisible powers we don’t know about, he’s not in the house.” Studying Joey, Lance said quietly, “Joey, what’s going on?”

“Okay, Lance, I’m going to tell you this in the strictest confidence, you can’t tell anyone.” He stopped pacing to fix Lance with a look, “Not even JC. This stays in the family.”

Lance smiled, “The family, Joe? What are we, the Sopranos?”

“Lance, I’m serious,” Joey exploded. “God!”

“Woah, Joey, I’m sorry,” Lance said. He watched Joey pace, “This is really big, isn’t it?”

Joey shrugged, “I don’t know, Lance. I mean, maybe I’m making it out to be something it’s not, but I don’t know.”

“Okay,” Lance said, leaning forward, “Tell me.”

Joey told Lance everything Chris told him, which wasn’t much. Lance listened quietly, his face not showing any emotion.

“So, apparently, Chris didn’t want to break it off with Justin, but he had no choice.” Joey pulled out the chair and sat down again.

Lance asked his questions with precision, analyzing the situation as he saw it. “How did Chris look?”

Joey shrugged, “Like shit. He was clearly hung over, he was wearing jeans, his shirt was buttoned wrong, and he didn’t smell like he took a shower.”

Lance grinned, “So, he’s obviously upset.”

Joey nodded, “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

Lance sighed, “Okay. And he asked about Justin, right? He asked how he was doing?” Joey nodded, and Lance stood up, it was his turn to pace. “We can’t tell Josh this, you know. He’ll flip out.”

Joey rolled his eyes, “I know. Why do you think I came to you?”

Lance stopped pacing and rested his chin in his hand, “Okay, so Chris is being blackmailed. But we can’t go to anyone with it, because Chris will lose his job, and Justin will be expelled from school.” He dropped into his chair again, “What the hell do we do?”

Joey shrugged, “I don’t know. I mean, do I keep my mouth shut and hope Chris has some kind of plan, or do I break my promise and tell Justin everything, and hope the five of us can together can think of something to fix this?” Joey cursed, “This sucks!”

Lance agreed with him, “You’re right. It does suck.”

*****

Chris clicked the print option on his computer and the printer whirred, the paper feeding through it, shooting his updated resume into the tray. Picking up the newspaper, he pulled out the classified ads. He began to scan the print, all the while thinking about how he should be working on his finals, he should be getting his tests together for his classes.

He should be at home with Justin in his arms, right where he belonged.

Setting down the newspaper, Chris sighed and stood, walking to the window. Across the lawn, students were exiting the gymnasium where practices were being held. A group of girls with their hair held off their faces by ponytails came out, laughing when a guy came behind them and picked one of them up.

Chris smiled at their antics, wishing he was young again, and didn’t have to worry about the repercussions of his actions, that he could just go to class, go to practice, have Justin, and just be left alone.

The gym door opened again, and Chris squinted to see across the lawn. Two boys walked out, one dribbling a basketball. His head was covered in a bandanna, and he looked at the ball as it bounced up and down on the sidewalk. Chris would know that walk anywhere.

“Justin,” he breathed to the empty room.

He watched Justin and JC cross the lawn and head to his building. His heart began to beat faster in his chest and he took a quick glance around the office to see if it was clean. Rolling his eyes at himself, he realized that Justin has seen the office at its worst. Hell, he didn’t even know if they were heading up here, JC might have a class in this building, he might have to see one of his own professors.

Sitting behind his desk again, Chris put away the classifieds, and hid his resume in his top desk drawer. He pulled a stack of papers in front of him and was attempting to read his senior Psych classes thesis papers when there was a knock at his door. Taking a deep breath, he told the person to come in.

Trying not to appear anxious, as if he didn’t just watch them leave the gym, Chris looked up. And his heart dropped to his feet when he saw his visitor.

His shoulders slumped, “Hey JC.”

JC fixed him with a glare and came into the room, pushing the door shut behind him. Chris tried to look around him, searching for just a glimpse of Justin, when JC spoke. “He’s not out there.”

Chris glanced back at JC, who was standing in front of his desk, his skin glistening from sweat, his arms crossed over his chest. Chris had a flashback of Justin straight from practice sitting in his chair, his foot on his desk.

“What do you want, JC?”

JC laughed bitterly, “What I would love is to kick the shit out of you for what you did, but I don’t think Justin would appreciate that too much.”

Chris met his eyes, “You don’t know what is going on, JC, so why don’t you just save yourself the trouble of the tough guy act and tell me why you’re here.”

JC shook his head, “God, you’re so pathetic. Do you even care what you did to Justin?”

“You have no idea how much,” Chris said softly.

JC’s face almost softened, “Then why did you do it?”

“I don’t have to justify my actions to you, JC.” Chris motioned to his desk, “Now, if you don’t mind telling me why you’re here, I have some work that needs to be done.”

JC snorted, “fine. I’m here for Justin.” Chris looked up, hope in his eyes. Ignoring him, JC continued, “Obviously, he’s not coming to your class the next two times, so I need to know if there’s any last minute assignments you have for him. Also, he wants to know if he can take his final at another time.”

Chris was confused, “Didn’t Joey tell you?”

“Tell me what?” JC asked.

“He was here earlier to yell at me,” Chris smiled, “And I told him to tell Justin I’m going to arrange for his final to be taken at another time.”

JC shook his head, “Joey wasn’t home by the time we left for practice.” He clapped his hands together, “Fine, then. I’ll be going if there’s nothing else.” Chris shrugged and JC stepped to the door. Pausing, he turned around, meeting Chris’s eyes. “Look, Chris, I’m going to be honest with you here. I was against you and Justin being together from the beginning, you know that. But you were good for him and he loved you with all his heart. I could just kill you for what you did.”

Chris hung his head, “I’m sorry, JC. Please, trust me.”

JC’s eyes widened, “Trust you? Come on, Chris, really? You broke the kid’s heart, and now you want me to believe you’re sorry?”

Chris looked up, “I know you hate me right now, JC, but I had reasons for what I did. And no matter what you think of me, I think I made the right decision.” Nodding his head towards the door, he said, “You should go. Just trust me when I say I’m trying to fix this.”

JC shook his head, “It’s going to take a lot to fix this, Chris. And I hope Justin’s strong enough for whatever you’re going to put him through next.”

*****

Justin was waiting by the elevator for JC, and he looked up in anticipation when JC turned the corner. “Well?” he asked.

JC shrugged, “Well, what? You don’t have to take your final with him, he’s going to set up another time for you.”

Justin rolled his eyes, “I don’t care about that,” he said as the doors opened. “How did he look?”

JC pushed the button for the ground floor, “I don’t know, Justin! He looked like Chris.”

“Okay, but did he look like put-together-Chris, or did he look like I-hate-life-because-Justin’s-not-in-it-Chris?”

JC groaned as the doors opened, stealing the basketball out of Justin’s hands and dribbling it. “I guess a little of both,” he said.

Justin was persistent, “but leaning towards which one?”

“God, Justin!” JC stopped walking and leaned against the outside of the building. “Okay, I guess he looked...more like he was upset.” Justin grinned and JC held up a hand, “But, Justin, that doesn’t mean that he’s going to make things right. He never said that.”

Justin looked at him with big eyes, “What did he say?”

JC sighed, contemplating whether or not to tell Justin what was said in his office. But Justin was standing in front of him, looking so damn pathetic, how could he refuse? JC started walking, “He said he was sorry, and he said I should trust him when he says he’s going to fix this.” Justin grabbed JC’s arm and JC groaned again, “What?”

“He said he was going to fix it? How? What’s he going to do? Can I get him back, do you think?”

JC peeled Justin’s hand from his arm and once again began walking. “I don’t know anything else, Justin, I swear. But, I wouldn’t get my hopes up if I were you.”

Justin’s shoulders slumped and he watched JC get a few steps ahead of him before he turned around and looked at Justin expectantly. Sighing, Justin began to walk to catch up to JC.

JC was right, he shouldn’t get his hopes up. Chris gave him nothing to hope for. He was pretty clear in the fact that he didn’t want to see Justin outside of school again. He all but told him to stay out of his life. But what was Justin supposed to do? Turn off his feelings like a faucet? Pretend that he never loved Chris? He couldn’t do that. But JC said it, he shouldn’t get his hopes up. Look what happened the last time he did. He was right in Chris’s feelings, they had a few great months together, and now this.

Justin trudged alongside JC, silent. He felt someone’s eyes on his back and he turned to look behind him. Glancing up at the windows of Chris’s building, he saw a silhouette where Chris’s window was. Squinting, he saw it was the outline of a man at the window. Chris’s outline against Chris's window to be precise.

Justin grinned to himself and wondered if it was now okay to get his hopes up.

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

“Chris? Hey Chris, wait up!”

Chris stopped on the sidewalk and turned when he heard his name being called. Looking through the crowds on the street, he sighed when he saw Joey running to catch up to him. He took a glance at the building he just exited, and wondered if Joey saw him leaving it.

“Hey, Chris,” Joey said when he was next to him, “what’s up?”

Chris shook his head, “Not much, Joey. What are you doing downtown?”

Joey motioned behind him, “Lance and I are shopping.” He turned and studied the faces in the crowd, “He’ll be here any second.”

Chris grinned at Joey, “How in the hell did you spot me?”

Joey shrugged as Lance approached them, “I was standing on the edge of the fountain.”

Lance grinned at Chris, “He was actually checking out some girl, and wanted to get a better look.”

Chris laughed at them, and they started walking. “So, are you doing some last minute Christmas shopping?” he asked them.

Lance nodded, “Yeah, Josh wants this book to write songs in, and the only place that sells it is down the street.” He rolled his eyes, “If I get him the wrong one, he’ll freak out.”

The three walked in a comfortable silence. It was the week after finals, so everyone was getting ready for the holidays. Chris had tried to keep his mind off of Justin by throwing himself into grading term papers, marking the finals, and looking for a new job. He was determined to find a way to fix this mess with Justin before the New Year. He had visions of him and Justin ringing in the New Year together, and he was not going to miss out on that.

Joey broke the silence, “Hey, you wanna get a cup of coffee?” he asked Chris.

Chris glanced at his watch, “I don’t know,” he said. He had another interview in an hour, and he didn’t want to be late.

Lance cocked his head, “You have an appointment?”

“Something like that,” he muttered.

Joey studied him, “I saw you coming out of the professional building,” he commented, “are you looking for another job?”

Chris turned and started walking towards the coffee shop across the street. “Come on,” he told them, “let’s get some coffee.”

After they ordered and were sitting around a table, Joey leaned forward, “I told Lance,” he said to Chris.

Chris glanced at Lance, who offered him a slight smile, and he nodded. “Did you tell JC?”

Lance laughed, “No. He would completely freak out if we did.” Lance’s eyes darkened, “Have you figured anything out?”

Chris shook his head, “No, not really.” He sighed and took a sip of his hot drink. “I’ve been looking for another job, but the market’s not really open.” He met Joey’s eyes, “I don’t know what to do.”

Lance reached across the table and squeezed Chris’s arm. “We’ll figure something out, don’t worry.”

Chris was silent for a minute before he looked up, “How is he?” he asked softly.

Joey and Lance shared a look before Joey sighed. “He’s...alright.” Chris didn’t answer, but nodded at Joey. “He’s better, Chris,” Joey continued. “He’s still quiet, still hurt, but he’s not moping around the house.”

“Yeah,” Lance interjected, “In fact, he’s been more optimistic about the whole situation.”

“He has?” Chris raised his eyebrow.

Lance played with his spoon as he spoke. “Yeah. He still loves you, Chris, and he’s young enough to think that’s enough.”

“He’s not mad at me?”

Joey laughed, “Sure, he’s pissed at you. And when he finds out what your real reasons were, I have a feeling he’s gonna be even more pissed.”

Chris sighed, “Well, that’s a chance I have to take, I guess.”

Lance slammed his spoon on the table, “No it’s not!” he said angrily. Chris looked at him in surprise, “Why can’t you just tell him what’s going on?”

“Lance, I can’t...” Chris started.

“Bullshit, Chris!” Lance said, “You can tell him exactly what happened.”

Joey looked at Lance in surprise. “Lance? What’s the matter?”

Lance sighed, “I’m sorry, but this is just pissing me off. The night you broke up, Justin didn’t sleep all night, and he cried himself to sleep the next morning. His hopes are so damn high that you’re going to make this all better, that if you don’t, he’s going to come crashing down and he’s going to be hurt more than ever. And if you don’t fix this, Chris, if you can’t find another job, you’re going to have to go back to teaching, and then you and Justin won’t be able to work things out. And John Graver will have won.” He shook his head, “I know what it’s like to have people hate you for who you are, Chris, and I don’t want that to happen to you or Justin. You have to fight back against people like him.”

Chris’s eyes narrowed, “Lance, no offense, but you really have no clue.” Lance’s eyes widened and Chris continued, “You have no idea what he can do to me, or Justin, for that matter. I can get fired, Justin can get kicked out of school. I don’t care about me, but let’s think about him for a second. His parent’s don’t even know he’s gay, imagine if he got kicked out of school, and they found out that way.”

“So you’re going to let him win? You’re going to go down without a fight?” Lance shook his head, “Sometimes you have to take some chances, Chris.” He sighed, “I’m not saying that you should just ignore what he’s threatening. I’m just saying you should tell Justin what’s going on, and maybe we can work something out together, that’s all.”

Chris laughed bitterly, “What is there to work out, Lance? If I’m a teacher and he’s a student, the relationship is off limits, no ifs ands or buts about it.”

Lance looked at him, “So, that’s it?” he asked softly. “It doesn’t matter that you love Justin, or that he loves you? It just matters that what you’re doing is wrong.”

“Lance, that’s not it at all,” Chris said.

Lance stood, “that’s what it sounds like to me.” He glanced at Joey, “I’m going to get that notebook for Josh, and I’ll just take a cab home.” He threw some money on the table and walked out of the door.

Chris glanced at Joey, “What the hell was that?”

Joey shrugged, watching Lance’s retreating back. “I have no idea.” He turned back to Chris, “I guess the situation’s just getting to him. JC has nothing good to say about you right now, and Lance knows the real reasons you did what you did, and yet, he can’t tell JC that, or he’ll freak out.” Joey sighed, “Not telling JC is probably getting to him, he usually tells him everything.”

Chris nodded, “I can understand that, I guess.”

Joey shook his head and smiled, “You probably can’t,” he said. “Those two are so close, it’s like they’re one person. It’s killing Lance to keep something like this from him. Lance just wants it to be over, so he can just let it all out.” Joey laughed, “He’s sorry for what he said to you, I know that.”

Chris shrugged, “That’s fine, I didn’t get pissed at him.” He sighed as he picked up his cup of coffee. “I’m just sorry this ever had to happen.”

Joey nodded, “We all are, Chris, believe me.” He met his eyes, “But I have nothing but faith in you, Chris. I’m sure you’re going to make this right.”

Chris took a deep breath and nodded. “I’m sure as hell going to try, Joey.”

*****

Lance slammed open the door to the house and ran up the stairs. Throwing the bag with his purchases into the back of the closet, he then slammed the closet door. Pulling off his jacket, he tossed it carelessly onto the desk chair and when it fell to the floor, he cursed.

“Something wrong?” a voice said from the door.

Turning, he saw JC leaning against the doorframe, his arms crossed over his chest. “No,” he said shortly.

JC offered him a lopsided grin, “Come on, Lance,” he said, “I know you better than that. You don’t slam doors and curse, that’s just not you.”

Lance turned away from him, “Well, maybe today it is,” he said shortly.

JC entered the room, moving to sit on the bed, “You want to talk about it?” Lance didn’t answer, just shook his head as he stared out the window. “Okay,” JC relented. “You want to make out?”

Lance didn’t turn around to see the grin he just knew was on JC’s face. Instead, he stared out the window and spoke softly. “You remember when we got together?”

JC was startled, “Yeah,” he said, “At your mom’s wedding.”

Lance nodded, “Yeah. You took a huge chance that day, right? I mean, it didn’t matter that you thought being gay was wrong, or that having feelings for another guy was wrong, all that mattered was me.”

JC studied Lance’s back, “Right,” he said softly, “All that mattered was what I was feeling for you.”

“And it didn’t matter what other people thought, your parents, my parents, our friends, it just mattered that you wanted to be with me.”

JC moved to sit on the edge of the bed, a perplexed look on his face, “Lance?” he asked softly, “What’s going on? Why are you talking like that?”

Lance sighed and turned to him, his eyes tinged with red, “I just hate that people can’t get past what others may say about them, or what others may do. You can’t live your life afraid of what someone may say to you, you have to live your life for yourself, you have to make yourself happy.”

JC stood and crossed the room to Lance, “What happened?” he asked, stopping in front of him. JC reached out to run his hand through Lance’s hair, and when Lance just shook his head, he repeated, “What happened?”

Lance sighed, looking at the ground between their feet, “Joey and I ran into Chris today,” he said softly. He heard JC’s sharp intake of breath, and he looked up at him.

“You did?” JC asked, his hand moving to the back of Lance’s neck. “So why is that making you like this?”

Lance couldn’t stop the tears that rolled down his cheek. “Chris didn’t break up with Justin because he wanted to, Josh. Chris broke up with him because he was being blackmailed.”

JC’s eyes grew wide and his mouth dropped open. “That son of a bitch,” he whispered.

Lance caught JC’s face in his hands, “Josh, please, don’t overreact.”

“Don’t overreact?” he repeated, “Lance, he killed Justin! He broke his heart and let him believe it was Justin’s fault! How can I not overreact?”

JC moved away from Lance and began to pace the room. Lance stayed where he was, watching JC. “Look, Josh, he did it for Justin. The guy who is blackmailing him is another professor. If Chris didn’t break up with Justin, the guy was going to go to the Dean and tell him everything. Chris would have been fired, and Justin would have been expelled.”

JC stopped pacing, “Don’t you think he should have told Justin?”

Lance shrugged, “Of course I do, Josh! But it’s too late for that now, what’s done is done!”

JC shook his head, “Oh, no it’s not,” he said. “I’m going to tell Justin.”

Lance lunged for JC, “Josh, you can’t do that,” he said, grabbing his arm.

JC leveled his gaze on Lance, “Give me one good reason why not.”

Lance was silent. He didn’t have a good reason. He believed that Justin had every right to know, it affected his life every bit as much as it affected Chris’s life, and Lance thought Justin should have a say in it. But he told Joey that he wouldn’t tell Justin, he gave his word.

“I promised Joey I wouldn’t tell him,” Lance said softly. “And Chris should be the one who tells Justin, not you.”

“I’m sorry, Lance,” JC said, “that’s not good enough.” He gently pulled away from Lance’s grip and walked out of the room, heading down the hall to find Justin.

*****

JC knocked on Justin’s closed bedroom door and waited for Justin to tell him to come in. He was vaguely aware of Lance following him down the hall, and when he pushed open the door, Lance was right behind him. He didn’t object to what JC was about to do although JC knew Lance didn’t agree with it. JC reached behind him and squeezed Lance’s hand, silently thrilled when Lance squeezed back in support. They were going to do this together, even if Lance didn’t approve.

“Hey, Justin,” JC said as they stepped into the room.

Justin was sitting on his bed, reading a magazine. The stereo was turned on, and Justin picked up one of the remotes on his bedside table and pointed it at the radio, turning down the volume. “Hey, guys,” he said, “what’s up?”

Lance smiled in return, but didn’t say anything. He was going to let JC do all the talking. JC took a deep breath and sat on the edge of the bed, “You got a minute?” he asked Justin.

Justin shrugged, putting down the magazine, “Sure.” He glanced between Lance and JC, taking in their somber expressions. “What’s going on? Is Joey okay?”

JC waved his hand, “Yeah, he’s fine.” He took a deep breath, “It’s about Chris.”

Justin’s eyes grew wide and he sat up straight, “What happened? Is he okay?”

Lance nodded, “Justin, no one it hurt. Josh just wants to tell you something.” He glanced at JC, “Something you should know.”

JC smiled at Lance, grateful that he wasn’t going to be mad at him for what he was about to do. He broke his stare with Lance when Justin spoke again.

“What? JC, tell me.”

JC turned and looked at Justin, “This isn’t easy for me to say, Justin, so just let me finish before you interrupt.” Justin nodded and sat cross-legged, facing JC. Taking a deep breath, JC looked him in the eye. “Chris didn’t break up with you because he wanted to.”

Justin’s brow furrowed, “What do you mean?”

JC glanced at Lance, who stepped forward and sat next to him, silent support at his side. “Another teacher was blackmailing him.” JC held up a hand when Justin opened his mouth. “Apparently, this guy told Chris that he would go to the Dean if he didn’t stop seeing you. That would mean Chris would get fired and you would be expelled.” He met Justin’s eyes, “I’m sorry.”

Justin laughed bitterly, “Sorry we broke up, or sorry he didn’t tell me?” He wiped at his eyes and looked at Lance, “Why didn’t he tell me?”

Lance shrugged, “He said he did it to protect you from being expelled.”

Justin tried to laugh, but it came out as a sob instead, “Protect me? He wanted to protect me? He fucking killed me when he broke up with me! Is that protecting me?”

“Justin,” Lance started, “he did it because he didn’t want to see you get hurt...”

Justin interrupted him, “I think he hurt me, Lance!”

Lance shook his head, “He didn’t want to see you get hurt by your family when they found out about this. He didn’t want you to get hurt when your friends found out before you told them.”

Justin’s eyes were red from the tears that were falling down his cheeks. “So it’s better that he hurt me? The one person who claimed to love me hurt me.”

JC reached out and touched his leg, “Justin, he does love you.”

Justin knocked JC’s hand away, “Whatever, JC.”

Lance reached out for him, “Justin, he does. He’s trying to find a way to make this right.”

Justin shook his head, “He can’t make this right anymore, Lance. He claimed to have loved me, and yet he didn’t trust me enough to tell me something like this?” Justin turned his stereo back up, the bass pounding in the room, “I just want to be alone, okay?”

JC and Lance shared a look and they stood. “Sure,” JC said. Moving towards the door, he turned, “If you need anything,” he said.

Justin nodded, but didn’t reply. What he needed was to scream at Chris. What he needed was to hit something to get his frustration out.

What he needed was to understand.

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

“Maybe I should just tell him,” Chris said to Joey. Joey had asked Chris if he wanted to do some shopping after his interview, and Chris agreed to go with him. So Joey waited around while Chris was in his interview, and then they headed towards the mall, each trying to get some last minute shopping done.

Joey nodded as he looked at a sweater, “I think you should,” he said. He held up the sweater, “Do you think JC would like this?”

Chris made a face, “Joey, it has birds on it.”

Joey grinned, “I know.” He lay it over his arm as he continued to look, “Sometimes JC likes to be a little...” his voice trailed off as he looked for the right word.

“Flamboyant?” Chris offered.

Joey grinned, “Yes! Flamboyant. He’ll wear this, trust me.”

Chris shook his head, “I would love to see that.”

Joey walked to the cashier, “Come over for New Years, I guarantee he’ll be wearing it.”

Chris leaned against the counter as Joey paid. “New Years,” he said softly. “That’s only three weeks away.” He glanced at Joey as he flirted with the cashier, “do you think I’ll be welcome at your house by then?”

Joey thanked the cashier and picked his bag off the counter. As they walked out of the store, he spoke to Chris, “I think if you tell Justin exactly what is going on, you’ll be welcome there before that.”

Chris sighed, “Do you think he’ll understand?”

Joey shrugged, “I can’t tell you that, Chris. I mean, I hope he will. He still loves you, I know that.”

Chris smiled at Joey’s words, “But does he love me enough to forgive me?”

Joey took Chris’s arm and led him towards the mall entrance, “Let’s go find out.”

*****

Justin was flipping the pages in his magazine, not reading anything. Hot tears burned his eyes, and he was horrified to see them escape and fall onto the pages in front of him. He didn’t want to cry about this. He had cried enough when he and Chris broke up. He didn’t need to be acting like some kind of baby now.

But these weren’t tears of sorrow, he told himself. These were pissed off tears. Angry tears. Tears of hurt and betrayal.

Chris didn’t trust him. After everything they’ve been through, Chris didn’t trust him enough to tell him the truth. God, Justin gave him everything! He was ready to give him his virginity, and Chris couldn’t even give him the truth.

Justin didn’t care if he ever saw Chris again. Sure, he wanted to go over to his house and yell and scream and hit him and just let him know exactly what he thought of him and his excuses, but he didn’t want to see him again.

Right?

Justin threw his magazine across the room as he thought about Chris. If he didn’t want to see him again, if he didn’t care, why was he letting himself get so upset? Why was he letting himself care so damn much about someone who didn’t even have the decency to tell him the truth?

He shouldn’t have let himself fall so fast. He should have taken his time falling in love. This was, after all, the first man he had true feelings for, and he should have taking his time to explore those feelings instead of jumping headfirst into a relationship.

But it had felt so good. It had felt so good to be able to call someone his own. To be able to just lie in someone’s arms and have them hold him until he fell asleep. To be able to pick up the phone and call someone who would always have the time to listen. To be able to cross campus and head to his office to shut the door and steal a few soft kisses. To be able to look up in the stands at a basketball game and know that someone was cheering for him and him alone. To be able to watch JC and Lance and not have to wonder if he’d ever find love like that, because he knew he had found it.

But this didn’t feel good at all. It didn’t feel good to be lying on his bed crying because of someone who had broken his heart two weeks ago. It didn’t feel good to have wounds reopened. It didn’t feel good to know that he loved someone so completely, so fully, and that person didn’t love him like that in return.

“He did love me,” Justin said to himself.

He knew Chris loved him. He knew that when Chris refused to make love to him because he didn’t think Justin was ready, that it was an act of love. He knew that those nights they would just sit in silence watching a movie was an act of love. He knew that the times Chris would hold him after a bad day, that it was an act of love.

And deep down, he knew that protecting him was an act of love, too.

But on the surface, he was hurt. He had been betrayed by the one person he loved more than anything in the world, and that hurt like hell.

*****

Lance and JC were on the couch, watching television, when the door opened.

“Hello?” Joey’s voice carried though the rooms, “Anyone home?”

“In here,” JC yelled to him. He tightened his arms around Lance as they waited for Joey to enter the room.

“Hey lovebirds,” Joey greeted them as he came in the room.

“Hey guys,” Chris said timidly.

Lance sat up, “Chris?” he asked in surprise, sharing an unreadable look with JC.

JC didn’t say anything to him just continued to watch TV.

Joey motioned to JC, “You told him?” he asked Lance.

Lance nodded, “Yeah, I had to.”

Joey grinned at Chris, “Told you.” Chris offered him a slight smile in return.

“Joey?” Justin’s voice floated down the stairs, “Is that you?”

“Yeah,” Joey called to him.

The sounds of Justin’s footsteps could be heard overhead as he walked down the hallway, “I need to talk to you,” he said as he came down the steps. “JC and Lance told me something today,” he was talking as he entered the room. He stopped short at the sight of Chris.

Chris couldn’t say a word. He stared at Justin, and was not able to form a coherent sentence. Justin looked like hell. His curls were a mess on his head, and as Chris watched, Justin ran a hand through them, messing them up even more. His blue eyes were tinged red, and Chris had a sinking feeling he knew exactly what JC and Lance told Justin that afternoon.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Justin asked him.

Chris took at step forward, “I came to talk to you.”

Justin took a retreating step as Chris advanced, “I have nothing to say to you.”

Chris stopped moving towards him and reached out his hand, “Justin, please.”

“No!” Justin said, his voice laced with venom. “I don’t want to hear it! I don’t want to hear your excuses and lies any more! I’ve had enough!”

Joey glared at JC, “Why did you tell him?”

JC met Joey’s hard gaze with one of his own, “He had a right to know, Joey.”

“He didn’t have a right to hear it from you, JC,” Joey countered.

JC motioned to Chris, “Well, he had to hear it from someone, Joey, because Chris sure as hell wasn’t telling him anything!”

“You asshole,” Joey swore at him, “what do you think he was coming here to do?”

JC crossed his arms, “well, I guess he should have thought of that sooner.”

Lance stood in between Joey and JC, “Look, now’s not the time for us to be fighting, too.” He put a restraining hand on JC’s chest, “Let’s leave Justin and Chris alone.”

Justin spoke up, “No, Lance, it’s okay.” He glared at Chris, “I have nothing to say to him.”

“Justin, please,” Chris said softly, “let me explain.”

Justin shook his head, “Explain what? How you didn’t love me? How you didn’t trust me?”

“No, Justin, it’s not like that,” Chris said. “I do love you.”

Justin snorted, “You sure have a funny way of showing it!”

“I didn’t want you to get hurt,” Chris started, but was interrupted by Justin.

“You didn’t want me to get hurt? What the hell do you think you did to me?” He threw up his hands, “Chris, you hurt me more that that bastard who’s blackmailing you ever could!” He stared at Chris, “You just don’t get it, do you?”

Chris shrugged, “Apparently not, Justin, because I though I was doing the right thing.”

Justin stepped closer to Chris, his voice low. “I expect things like that from other people, Chris. I don’t expect that people who don’t love me are going to care about my feelings. I expect them to be out for themselves. What I do expect is that the people who claim to love me tell me things. I do expect those people to share things with me, to expect me to be able to help them. You claimed to have loved me, Chris. And I expected you to love me enough to trust me with something like this. I expected you to let me help you. Instead, you pushed me away, broke my heart, and let someone else, someone who knows nothing about me or what this relationship meant to me win.”

Chris shook his head, “He didn’t win, Justin. He’ll only win if we let him.” He met his eyes and pleaded, “We can fight him.”

“No, we can’t, Chris,” Justin said sadly. “You let him win the second you let me walk out of your life.”

Chris knew that Joey, Lance, and JC were in the room, but he didn’t care. He didn’t care if the whole world was watching him start to cry. All he cared about was the boy standing in front of him. “Please, Justin,” he said shakily, “Please.”

Justin bit his lower lip, “I can’t, Chris.” He let out a sob, “I can’t go through this again. You killed me! I can't let that happen a second time.”

Chris reached out and took his arm, trailing his hand down to clasp Justin’s. “It won’t happen again, Justin, I promise.” He rubbed the back of Justin’s hand, “Please, let’s think of how we can fight him.”

Justin looked into Chris’s eyes, “No,” he said, pulling away. “I can’t, Chris. Not right now, maybe not ever.” He backed towards the doorway, “I’m sorry,” he said softly. “But you brought this on yourself.” He took one last look at Chris and turned and walked away.

Chris stared at the spot Justin occupied and listened to his footfalls on the stairs. He hung his head as Justin’s footsteps faded away and as he heard a door upstairs shut, he knew it was over.

“Chris?” Joey asked softly, moving to his side.

Chris allowed Joey to put a hand on his shoulder, the contact causing him to sob. Joey put his arms around him and hugged him. Chris cried onto Joey’s shoulder, “I lost him, Joe.”

Joey didn’t respond, he just let him cry.

*****

JC flopped on the bed, “I feel like shit.”

Lance smirked at him, “Guilty conscience?”

JC rolled his eyes, “No,” he said. “I just feel bad for Justin.” He sighed, “And Chris,” he admitted lamely.

Lance took off his clothes, and crawled into bed with JC wearing only his boxers. JC held him close and whispered, “Did I do the right thing?”

Lance sighed and let out a slow breath, “I don’t know, Josh.” He wrapped his arms around JC’s stomach, “What do you think?”

“I think if I would have just held off for an hour or two, Justin would have heard it from Chris and not me, and maybe this whole mess could have been avoided.”

Lance nodded against his chest, “You’re right.”

Running his fingers lightly over Lance’s bare back, he chuckled, “You’re not going to say I told you so?”

Lance propped his head up on his boyfriend’s chest and looked him in the eyes, “Do I have to actually say it for you to know I was right?”

JC grinned at him, “You’re always right, baby,” he said.

Lance grinned, “I know.” He sighed as he rested his head back on JC’s chest, “Sometimes, though, I hate being right.”

They lay in silence for a few minutes before Lance broke it. “Do you think Justin is going to be okay?”

JC didn’t answer right away, and Lance turned his head to see if he was still awake. “I don’t know,” JC finally said. “He was pretty hurt.”

Lance nodded, “I know.” He kissed JC’s chest, “I’d like to think I’d forgive you, though.”

JC reached out and shut off the light next to the bed, “I’d forgive you, too.”

Lance snuggled close to JC’s warmth, “Maybe there is hope, then.”

JC tightened his hold on Lance, “There’s always hope in love.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

JC timidly knocked on the door to Justin’s bedroom. “Just?” he asked softly, “can I come in?” There was no response, and JC was ready to walk away when the knob turned and Justin pulled open the door. He turned and retreated to his bed and JC entered the room, shutting the door behind him. “You okay?” he asked.

Justin curled up in a ball under his covers. “Not really,” he admitted. Pulling his covers to his chin, he rolled so his back was to JC.

Sighing, JC moved to sit on the edge of the bed. Cautiously reaching out a hand he rubbed Justin’s back. “I’m sorry,” he said softly.

Justin nodded, but didn’t respond.

“Are you going to forgive him?” JC asked.

JC felt the muscles in Justin’s back tense before he answered the question. “Probably not,” Justin said, “he doesn’t deserve it.”

JC sighed, kicking himself for telling Justin the truth. He should have let things play their course, and Chris would have told Justin himself and everything could have been worked out. And now here he was, feeling guilty as hell, trying to repair a relationship he was against from the beginning.

JC had been wrong. He hated to admit it, but he was wrong. Chris was good for Justin. Anyone could see how happy Justin had been when he was with Chris, and how miserable he was now. JC’s problem was that he spent too much time finding the bad things in the relationship, he never took the time to see the good. And now it may be too late. And if JC didn’t set things right, if he didn’t convince Justin that he should hear Chris out, Joey was going to kick his ass.

“Aren’t you being a little harsh?” JC asked Justin gently.

Justin turned and rolled onto his back, looking at JC with incredulous eyes, “Harsh? You think I’m being harsh? JC, Chris lied to me!”

JC nodded, “I know, but he was just trying to protect you.”

Justin squinted at him, “Who’s side are you on, anyway?”

JC sighed and got off the bed, “Yours, Justin, really.” He moved to the window and pushed back the curtain, looking out on the street below. “It’s just hard for me, you know? I hate that I caused this.”

Justin sat up and watched JC. “You didn’t cause any of this, JC. Chris did. He’s the one who lied.”

“I know, that’s not what I meant.”

“What did you mean, then?”

He turned from the window to look at Justin. “I shouldn’t have told you what was going on.”

Justin shook his head, “Yes, you should have,” he countered, “I had a right to know.”

“Lance told me this morning that Chris is trying to fix this. He and Joey ran into him yesterday and he was looking for another job.” JC sighed as he watched Justin, “He’s trying, Justin. Maybe you should try, too.”

Justin stood and moved to his closet, ripping a sweatshirt off the hanger, “I don’t want to try, JC!” He turned and glared at JC from across the room, “How would you feel? What if this was Lance? Would you forgive him?”

JC shrugged, “I like to think that I would.” Justin laughed shortly and shook his head, “What?” JC asked, “what’s that supposed to mean?”

Justin met his eyes, “It means that I don’t believe you.” He stared across the room at JC, “That’s not like you, JC. You get all high and mighty and think that you’re right, and nothing can change your mind.”

JC’s eyes narrowed, “That’s not true,” he said evenly.

“Oh yeah?” Justin crossed his arms over his chest, “When Lance told you about Chris yesterday, did he try to stop you from telling me?” JC nodded and Justin grinned humorlessly, “And you couldn’t wait to barge in here and tell me all about it. See, JC, you can’t stand that someone may know better than you. If Lance kept something from you, you would never forgive him. So don’t stand there and preach forgiveness to me, because you don’t even know where to start.”

JC tried to tell himself that Justin was just upset, that it was his lack of sleep, his nerves being shot, his anger at Chris that was causing him to talk to him that way, but it just wasn’t working. He bit his lip and didn’t answer Justin.

Justin took a step closer, “And you know what else, JC? I think you couldn’t wait to tell me about Chris. I don’t think you can stand it if anyone is happier than you.”

That was the last straw, “You know what, Justin?” JC said, his eyes flashing anger, “I don’t really care what you think. I came in here this morning to apologize, and to try to help, but I can see that you’re doing just fine on your own.” He pushed past Justin and opened the door. Walking out, he slammed it shut behind him.

Justin hung his head as the door slammed close behind him.

“Way to go, Timberlake. Now you not only lost your boyfriend, you lost your best friend as well.”

*****

Lance looked up from his plate when JC stormed into the kitchen. “Josh?” he asked, “What’s wrong?”

JC opened a cabinet door and took out a bowl, slamming it on the countertop, and banging the door shut. “I swear, Lance, that kid is so dammed thickheaded, I can’t stand it!” He dumped cereal in a bowl, spilling some on the counter in his anger.

Lance stood up and got the milk, pouring it into JC’s bowl. He was really not in the mood to be cleaning up JC’s messes. “Why?” he asked, sitting back down, “what happened?”

JC’s face was red with anger, “So I go up there to apologize and to talk to him, and he turned this all on me! He started telling me how I couldn’t wait to run and tell him what Chris said because I can’t stand it when anyone but me is happy!” Lance raised his eyebrow and JC nodded, “Yeah! That’s what that punk said. He also told me I shouldn’t preach forgiveness to him because I wouldn’t forgive you!” He picked up his spoon and began shoveling spoonfuls of cereal in his mouth, his jaw working furiously to chew.

Lance hid a smile and looked down at his waffles. “So, what did you say?”

JC’s eyes were wide, “I didn’t say anything, Lance! I told him he obviously didn’t need my help and I left! I don’t have to put up with that for trying to help.”

“You two are too much alike,” Lance commented as he lifted his fork to his mouth.

JC stopped his eating to glare at Lance, “I am nothing like Justin.”

Lance laughed, “Oh come on, you so are!”

“Whatever,” JC muttered.

“Josh, you are, why do you think you two fight about Chris so much?” JC grunted at him and didn’t answer, so Lance continued, “You both think you’re right about everything. And maybe you two had different opinions about Chris, but neither one of you was going to budge, therefore you fight.” He grinned at JC, “And now, you both are being stubborn.”

JC shook his head, “I was apologizing to him, Lance, I was not being stubborn.”

“Yes you were. You’re still trying to shove your opinion down his throat. You’re trying to tell him that he should forgive Chris and now he doesn’t want to.” Lance shrugged, “You’re too much alike.”

JC stood and dumped his remaining cereal in the sink. “You’re supposed to make me feel better, you know.”

Lance grinned and caught his arm as he walked past. Pulling him onto his lap, he kissed his neck. “I’m sorry, Josh,” he said softly, “I’m just telling you what I think.”

JC closed his eyes and leaned into Lance, “Well, as long as you keep kissing my neck like that, you can tell me anything.”

*****

Chris whistled to himself as he put a stack of papers into a cardboard box. His face was set in a grin as he added his computer disks to the contents of the box. Glancing around his office, his eyes fell on some books that he had brought from home, and he crossed his office to pick them up and place them in the box.

“Hey,” Joey said, sticking his head in the office door.

Chris grinned at him, “Joey!” he said, slapping him on the back, “what are you doing here?”

Joey looked at him strangely, “Well, I went to your house to see how you were doing, but you weren’t there. So I thought I’d stop in here.” Chris continued to whistle and put things in the box as Joey spoke, and Joey cocked his head, “You’re awfully happy, considering,” he offered.

Chris’s face lit up in delight, “Come with me, Joey.” Picking up the box, he walked into the hallway, making a right. Joey had no choice but to follow him. Chris stopped at a closed door and squatted to put the box he was carrying on the floor. With no warning to the person inside, he swung open the door and stepped over the threshold.

Joey was so curious as to what the hell was going on, he too went inside the room. The man behind the desk looked startled, then angry as Chris sat in a chair and propped his feet on the edge of the desk.

“What do you want, Kirkpatrick?” the man said. His eyes flickered to Joey, “And who are you?”

Chris waved his hand between them, “John, Joey.” He glanced up at Joey, “Joey, this is John Graver.”

Joey’s eyes widened as he realized who he was meeting, and he decided he most definitely did not want to miss this conversation, so he fully entered the room and sat on the chair next to Chris. Following Chris’s lead, he also propped his feet up.

“Nice to meet you, John,” Joey said, grinning at him, “I’ve heard so much about you.”

John cautiously looked between the two men, “As I said before,” he said to Chris, not even acknowledging that Joey spoke to him, “What do you want?”

Chris picked at his nails, holding his hand out in front of him to look at them, “I just came to say goodbye,” he said.

John’s eyebrows raised, “Goodbye? Why Chris, I didn’t know you cared.” He smiled, “It’s only going to be a month, though, I’m surprised you’ll miss me.”

Chris lowered his foot and leaned forward, his hard gaze on John. “That’s where you’re wrong, Graver.”

John was surprised, but hid it well. Joey, on the other hand, was staring at Chris like he had suddenly sprouted a second head.

“What are you talking about?” John asked.

Chris smiled tightly at him, “I’m not coming back.” He stood and leaned over John’s desk, “I got a new job. And now you can’t touch me.”

John laughed bitterly, “You quit your job because of that kid?” He shook his head, “You’re pathetic.”

Chris narrowed his eyes, “You know what’s pathetic? You.”

John sat back in his chair, “hey, I got what I wanted,” he said. Propping his elbows on the arms of his chair, he clasped his hands, “I made your life hell for a few weeks, and now you’re leaving.” The corner of his mouth twitched in a smile, “Life is just about perfect.”

Chris stood up, “I don’t care anymore, John. I’m done with you and your petty bullshit.”

“You gonna get your boy toy back?” John asked him with a leer.

Chris lunged over the desk so fast, Joey barely had time to register he was moving. Grabbing John by the collar, Chris pulled him out of his chair and held him close. “Don’t you ever call him that,” he said softly, “And if I hear that you’re giving him any problems in the future, I will be on you so fast you won’t know what hit you.”

There was a flicker of fear in John’s eyes that disappeared as quickly as it had appeared. John narrowed his eyes and pulled Chris’s hands off his shirt collar. “Don’t worry, Kirkpatrick, the boy was never my concern. He just ended up in the way.”

Dropping John back in his chair, Chris gave him a look of disgust before he turned to Joey, “Ready?”

Joey nodded and stood, following Chris to the door. Chris opened the door and Joey stepped into the hallway. Chris turned back to John, “Have a nice life,” he said sweetly and followed Joey into the hallway.

As the door shut behind him, Chris started laughing, “That went well, don’t you think?”

“You got another job?” Joey asked.

Chris picked up his box and began walking down the hall. “Yep, I start there Monday.”

Joey ran to catch up with him, “What is it?”

Chris glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, “I’m working at a radio station.”

Joey grinned, “A radio station? What does that have to do with psychology?”

Chris smiled to himself as they waited for the elevator, but didn’t answer. Turning to Joey, his face darkened, “How’s Justin?”

Joey shrugged as the doors opened, “I don’t know,” he answered as he pushed the button for the floor, “he was still in his room when I left. Although Lance told me that JC is going to talk to him today.”

“Hasn’t he done enough?” Chris asked bitterly.

“I know,” Joey agreed. The doors of the elevator opened and the two made their way to Chris’s car, “Lance said JC feels really bad.”

Chris snorted, “He should. If he would have kept his big mouth shut, maybe some of this could have been avoided.”

“If you would have told Justin the truth from the beginning, all of this could have been avoided,” Joey pointed out.

Chris shot him a withering look as he opened his trunk. “Thanks for pointing that out, Joey.”

Joey grinned, “Hey, that’s what I’m here for.” He leaned against Chris’s car, “So, what are you going to do now?”

Chris squinted up at him, “What do you mean?”

Joey shrugged, “I mean, what are you going to do now? Are you just going to go to your new job and forget about us? Never to be seen or heard from again?”

Chris smiled slyly at him, “Oh, believe me, Joey, you’ll be hearing from me.” He moved to the driver’s side door and opened it, “I’ll give you a call on Monday.” He met Joey’s eyes, “Do me a favor?”

Joey shrugged, “Sure.”

Chris’s face turned serious, “Just,” he sighed, “talk to Justin for me. Let him know that I do love him.”

“No problem,” Joey said.

Chris offered him a grin, “Talk to you Monday!” He got in the car and slammed it shut behind him. Joey backed away as Chris started his car and pulled away.

“Radio station?” Joey muttered. He laughed to himself as he got in his car and headed home.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

The air in the kitchen was very uncomfortable. The four guys were all gathered in the room, each concentrating on their task, trying to ignore the others.

It had been like that the whole weekend. After their fight, JC and Justin hadn’t said more than two words to each other, only speaking to say thinks like, “sorry,” when they both reached for the remote at the same time.

Joey wasn’t really talking to JC, either, although he was talking to him more than Justin was. Joey couldn’t get past the fact that JC didn’t mind his own business where Chris and Justin’s relationship was concerned. And even though Joey thought Chris should have told Justin from the start, it was not JC’s place to interfere.

Lance, of course was talking to JC. In fact, at the present moment, he had his lips close to his ear, whispering words meant only for JC’s ears. JC smiled when Lance gently nipped his earlobe before turning back to the carrots he was washing in the sink.

In fact, Lance was the only one speaking to everyone in the house. Justin didn’t hold JC’s actions against Lance, he knew that although Lance didn’t want to tell Justin the truth, he didn’t want to see Justin hurt. Plus, if Justin had asked Lance if he would have forgiven JC if the situation happened to him, he would have been able to believe anything Lance said without a doubt. And Joey knew that Lance tried to stop JC from telling Justin. Lance knew that with time, Chris would have told Justin himself, and he could have waited for that to happen.

Justin and Joey were speaking, but found they didn’t have much to say. After Joey spoke to Chris on Friday, he had tried to talk to Justin about him, but Justin wasn’t in the mood to listen to anything Joey had to say in defense of Chris. Joey hadn’t even told him Chris got a new job because every time Joey brought up his name, Justin would get up and say, “Joe, how many times do I have to tell you I don’t want to talk about him?” And then he would leave the room. And since Joey wasn’t the best at consoling guys when they broke up with a boyfriend, he didn’t really know what to do for Justin that could help.

Justin was presently sitting at the kitchen table, his cell phone to his ear, listening to his mother speak. He was quiet for the most part, offering a few words and grunts here and there to let her know he was listening. The cell phone was propped between his ear and his shoulder, and he was holding a piece of paper steady with one hand as he wrote things down with the other.

Joey was on the house phone, talking to Nakia about what they were going to do for New Years. Even though it was still a few weeks away, Joey was planning on having the party at the house, so they were planning the guest list and the food and alcohol lists.

Lance and JC were making dinner. Well, Lance was making dinner and JC was just getting in the way. They were laughing quietly between themselves and occasionally, Lance would lift his hands out of the sink to flick water at JC’s face.

“Josh,” Lance said, when the water in the pot on the stove started to boil, “you’re supposed to be watching that!”

JC turned to the stove, “Lance, it’s boiling, what should I do?”

Lance sighed dramatically and wiped his hands off on a hand towel. “You cut the carrots.” He flipped the towel at JC’s ass as he brushed past him to the stove. As he was putting the cut potatoes in the boiling water, he heard Joey switch off the phone. Glancing at him, he asked, “Everything coming together?”

Joey nodded, jumping up on the counter to sit. “Yep. Nakia’s pretty much taking care of everything.” He stole a piece of raw potato from the cutting board before it hit the water, “I just have to get the beer,” he added, with a loud crunch of the potato.

Lance cocked his head as Joey ate the raw potato, “You are so weird,” he said.

Joey grinned as the phone rang. “Runs in the family,” he said, ignoring the phone.

“Glad I’m not blood, then,” Lance replied.

“I’ll get the phone,” JC said sarcastically as the two argued. Grabbing it from Joey, he pushed talk, “Hello?”

“Shit,” someone cursed on the other end. “JC?”

“Yeah?” JC answered warily.

“It’s Chris.”

“Oh,” JC replied.

“Don’t say my name,” Chris hurried on, “I don’t want Justin to know I’m on the phone.” There was a pause, “Is he there?”

JC glanced at the table, where Justin looked up at him with questionable eyes, “Yeah,” he said to Chris, shaking his head at Justin, telling him it wasn’t for him. “So, what’s up?”

“Look, I don’t have a lot of time, so I can’t explain, I just need you to do something for me.”

“Okay, what?” he asked.

JC heard Chris sigh. “Look, JC, here’s the deal. I’m still pissed at you for telling Justin what was going on.”

“I’m sorry about that,” JC said sincerely. He ignored Lance’s quiet questions, waving him off with his hand.

“Now’s your chance to make it up to me, so don’t screw it up,” Chris told him. “I wish Joey would have answered,” he muttered.

“You know, you could have asked for him,” JC said, getting angry, “If you think I can’t handle it.”

“Jesus, JC,” Chris said, chuckling, “Calm down. I just wanted Joey because he at least slightly knew what was going on.” He laughed, “God, you are so damn paranoid, thinking I’m out to get you.”

JC smiled a sheepish smile, “Whatever. Now, what do you want?”

“Are you guys going to be eating dinner around five?” he asked.

JC glanced at the clock, “About then, why?”

Chris began to speak quickly, “Don’t ask me any questions, JC, just do what I tell you.” He took a deep breath, “At five, turn on the radio, AM 450. Make sure Justin is there. And this is very important, make sure he listens.”

“What’s going on?” JC asked.

JC heard the smile in Chris’s voice, “Nope. Just do what I say. Bye!”

Before JC could get another word out, Chris hung up the phone. JC removed the phone from his ear and stared at it like it would have the answers he was looking for. Shaking his head, he looked up to see Lance and Joey staring at him.

“Josh?” Lance asked, “Who was that?”

JC shook his head, “No one.”

Joey shared a look with Lance before crossing his arms over his chest, “No one? You talked pretty much for it to be no one.”

JC bit his lip, distracted. Glancing at Justin, who was still engrossed in his own conversation, he muttered, “it wasn’t important.” Taking hold of Joey’s arm, he said, “Joe, can I talk to you for a sec?”

Joey slid off the counter, “Yeah, I guess,” he said, not having a choice, because JC was pulling him out of the room.

“God, you’d do anything to get out of cooking, won’t you?” Lance called after him.

*****

“JC, what is going on?” Joey demanded when JC pushed him into his and Lance’s room and shut the door behind them.

JC shrugged, “I don’t know, Joey, you tell me. That was Chris,” he told him.

Joey’s eyes widened, “Chris? What did he say?” He scratched his goatee, “why didn’t he ask to talk to Justin?”

JC shrugged, “He didn’t want Justin to know it was him.” He squinted at Joey, “He told me to turn on the radio at five, and make sure Justin listens.” He watched Joey’s mouth turn into a grin, “you wanna tell me what’s up?”

“Chris got a job at a radio station.” Joey rubbed his hands together, “Maybe he’s going to dedicate a song to Justin.” Joey flopped onto JC and Lance’s bed, lying on his back, staring at the ceiling, “I wonder what song it’ll be?”

“I’m Sorry I Was An Asshole, Will You Forgive Me?” JC offered.

Joey sat up and stared at JC, “Don’t even start with that shit, JC. Chris had no choice.”

JC shrugged, “Whatever, Joey. I’m not going to argue with you about this.”

Joey stood and grabbed JC’s arm as he turned to leave the room, “Yes, you are. I have a few things that I need to say to you.”

JC sighed heavily and turned to face Joey. “Fine, but hurry up, it’s almost five.”

Glancing at the alarm clock on the nightstand, Joey looked back at JC. “You shouldn’t have told Justin about Chris.”

JC rolled his eyes, “Do I have to go through this again? He had a right to know, Joey, and you should have told him as soon as you found out!”

"Okay, he had a right to know, but he had a right to hear it from Chris, you took that away from him.”

Turning, JC sighed, “How was I supposed to know Chris was going to tell him, Joe?”

Joey crossed his arms, “Maybe you should have trusted Chris to do the right thing.”

JC whirled to face Joey. “Trust him?” he asked incredulously. “How am I supposed to trust him? I don’t even know him.” JC threw up his hands, “God, Joey, the man is a professor having an affair with one of his students! You want me to trust him as he’s breaking every violation in the book?”

“I thought Justin was your friend,” Joey said softly.

“He is. What does that have to do with anything?”

Joey lifted a shoulder and dropped it, “Then you should have trusted that Justin wouldn’t have fallen in love with someone who wasn’t a good guy. That right there should have been enough for you, JC.”

JC hung his head, “I was just looking out for him.”

Joey put a hand on JC’s shoulder, “I know you were, JC. But sometimes, no matter how hard you try to protect him, he’s still going to get hurt.” Squeezing JC’s shoulder, Joey moved to the door, “next time, try trusting that people will do the right thing.” He winked at JC, “Sometimes, it actually happens.”

*****

“You guys want to listen to the radio?” JC asked.

Lance glanced up in surprise, “What?”

“Sure,” Joey said, “we could use some background noise.” Glancing at Justin, he asked, “What do you think Justin?”

Justin shrugged, “I don’t care. As long as it’s not country.” He snuck a glance at Lance.

Lance rolled his eyes, “Say what you want, but Garth Brooks is king.”

“Whatever you say,” JC muttered as he pushed back his chair and walked to the radio mounted underneath the kitchen cabinets. He switched the dial to AM and held the buttons down until he found the station Chris had mentioned.

A newscaster was giving the news since it was the top of the hour.

Lance cocked his head, “What station is this, Josh? I don’t recognize the DJ.”

JC sat down as he answered, “450.”

The fork paused halfway to Lance’s mouth. “AM?”

JC nodded while he chewed. After he swallowed, he said, “Yeah, why?”

Lance gave him a strange look, “Well, I thought you wanted to listen to music. This is an all talk station.” He stood up to change it.

JC and Joey shared a confused look, before Joey realized what Lance was about to do. “No!” he said to Lance. Lance turned to him as he reached for the radio, “Leave it,” Joey said, trying to keep his voice normal, “I want to listen to it.”

“But, Joe,” Justin said, “Lance said it’s all talk. Why do you want to listen to that?”

Joey stammered as he answered, knowing he had to find some excuse to keep this station on, “Because, Justin, I, um, don’t want to listen to music, because then I’ll want to sing, and my mouth will be full with food, and that’s just gross.” He shot JC a helpless look.

Justin burst out laughing, “That is the lamest excuse ever!” He looked between Joey and JC and then glanced at Lance, “What is going on?”

Lance shrugged, “I wish I knew.”

Justin stared at Joey, “Joey? Come on, tell us...”

His voice trailed off as a new voice came on the radio. A voice he knew as well as his own.

Chris.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

The air in the kitchen was very uncomfortable. The four guys were all gathered in the room, each concentrating on their task, trying to ignore the others.

It had been like that the whole weekend. After their fight, JC and Justin hadn’t said more than two words to each other, only speaking to say thinks like, “sorry,” when they both reached for the remote at the same time.

Joey wasn’t really talking to JC, either, although he was talking to him more than Justin was. Joey couldn’t get past the fact that JC didn’t mind his own business where Chris and Justin’s relationship was concerned. And even though Joey thought Chris should have told Justin from the start, it was not JC’s place to interfere.

Lance, of course was talking to JC. In fact, at the present moment, he had his lips close to his ear, whispering words meant only for JC’s ears. JC smiled when Lance gently nipped his earlobe before turning back to the carrots he was washing in the sink.

In fact, Lance was the only one speaking to everyone in the house. Justin didn’t hold JC’s actions against Lance, he knew that although Lance didn’t want to tell Justin the truth, he didn’t want to see Justin hurt. Plus, if Justin had asked Lance if he would have forgiven JC if the situation happened to him, he would have been able to believe anything Lance said without a doubt. And Joey knew that Lance tried to stop JC from telling Justin. Lance knew that with time, Chris would have told Justin himself, and he could have waited for that to happen.

Justin and Joey were speaking, but found they didn’t have much to say. After Joey spoke to Chris on Friday, he had tried to talk to Justin about him, but Justin wasn’t in the mood to listen to anything Joey had to say in defense of Chris. Joey hadn’t even told him Chris got a new job because every time Joey brought up his name, Justin would get up and say, “Joe, how many times do I have to tell you I don’t want to talk about him?” And then he would leave the room. And since Joey wasn’t the best at consoling guys when they broke up with a boyfriend, he didn’t really know what to do for Justin that could help.

Justin was presently sitting at the kitchen table, his cell phone to his ear, listening to his mother speak. He was quiet for the most part, offering a few words and grunts here and there to let her know he was listening. The cell phone was propped between his ear and his shoulder, and he was holding a piece of paper steady with one hand as he wrote things down with the other.

Joey was on the house phone, talking to Nakia about what they were going to do for New Years. Even though it was still a few weeks away, Joey was planning on having the party at the house, so they were planning the guest list and the food and alcohol lists.

Lance and JC were making dinner. Well, Lance was making dinner and JC was just getting in the way. They were laughing quietly between themselves and occasionally, Lance would lift his hands out of the sink to flick water at JC’s face.

“Josh,” Lance said, when the water in the pot on the stove started to boil, “you’re supposed to be watching that!”

JC turned to the stove, “Lance, it’s boiling, what should I do?”

Lance sighed dramatically and wiped his hands off on a hand towel. “You cut the carrots.” He flipped the towel at JC’s ass as he brushed past him to the stove. As he was putting the cut potatoes in the boiling water, he heard Joey switch off the phone. Glancing at him, he asked, “Everything coming together?”

Joey nodded, jumping up on the counter to sit. “Yep. Nakia’s pretty much taking care of everything.” He stole a piece of raw potato from the cutting board before it hit the water, “I just have to get the beer,” he added, with a loud crunch of the potato.

Lance cocked his head as Joey ate the raw potato, “You are so weird,” he said.

Joey grinned as the phone rang. “Runs in the family,” he said, ignoring the phone.

“Glad I’m not blood, then,” Lance replied.

“I’ll get the phone,” JC said sarcastically as the two argued. Grabbing it from Joey, he pushed talk, “Hello?”

“Shit,” someone cursed on the other end. “JC?”

“Yeah?” JC answered warily.

“It’s Chris.”

“Oh,” JC replied.

“Don’t say my name,” Chris hurried on, “I don’t want Justin to know I’m on the phone.” There was a pause, “Is he there?”

JC glanced at the table, where Justin looked up at him with questionable eyes, “Yeah,” he said to Chris, shaking his head at Justin, telling him it wasn’t for him. “So, what’s up?”

“Look, I don’t have a lot of time, so I can’t explain, I just need you to do something for me.”

“Okay, what?” he asked.

JC heard Chris sigh. “Look, JC, here’s the deal. I’m still pissed at you for telling Justin what was going on.”

“I’m sorry about that,” JC said sincerely. He ignored Lance’s quiet questions, waving him off with his hand.

“Now’s your chance to make it up to me, so don’t screw it up,” Chris told him. “I wish Joey would have answered,” he muttered.

“You know, you could have asked for him,” JC said, getting angry, “If you think I can’t handle it.”

“Jesus, JC,” Chris said, chuckling, “Calm down. I just wanted Joey because he at least slightly knew what was going on.” He laughed, “God, you are so damn paranoid, thinking I’m out to get you.”

JC smiled a sheepish smile, “Whatever. Now, what do you want?”

“Are you guys going to be eating dinner around five?” he asked.

JC glanced at the clock, “About then, why?”

Chris began to speak quickly, “Don’t ask me any questions, JC, just do what I tell you.” He took a deep breath, “At five, turn on the radio, AM 450. Make sure Justin is there. And this is very important, make sure he listens.”

“What’s going on?” JC asked.

JC heard the smile in Chris’s voice, “Nope. Just do what I say. Bye!”

Before JC could get another word out, Chris hung up the phone. JC removed the phone from his ear and stared at it like it would have the answers he was looking for. Shaking his head, he looked up to see Lance and Joey staring at him.

“Josh?” Lance asked, “Who was that?”

JC shook his head, “No one.”

Joey shared a look with Lance before crossing his arms over his chest, “No one? You talked pretty much for it to be no one.”

JC bit his lip, distracted. Glancing at Justin, who was still engrossed in his own conversation, he muttered, “it wasn’t important.” Taking hold of Joey’s arm, he said, “Joe, can I talk to you for a sec?”

Joey slid off the counter, “Yeah, I guess,” he said, not having a choice, because JC was pulling him out of the room.

“God, you’d do anything to get out of cooking, won’t you?” Lance called after him.

*****

“JC, what is going on?” Joey demanded when JC pushed him into his and Lance’s room and shut the door behind them.

JC shrugged, “I don’t know, Joey, you tell me. That was Chris,” he told him.

Joey’s eyes widened, “Chris? What did he say?” He scratched his goatee, “why didn’t he ask to talk to Justin?”

JC shrugged, “He didn’t want Justin to know it was him.” He squinted at Joey, “He told me to turn on the radio at five, and make sure Justin listens.” He watched Joey’s mouth turn into a grin, “you wanna tell me what’s up?”

“Chris got a job at a radio station.” Joey rubbed his hands together, “Maybe he’s going to dedicate a song to Justin.” Joey flopped onto JC and Lance’s bed, lying on his back, staring at the ceiling, “I wonder what song it’ll be?”

“I’m Sorry I Was An Asshole, Will You Forgive Me?” JC offered.

Joey sat up and stared at JC, “Don’t even start with that shit, JC. Chris had no choice.”

JC shrugged, “Whatever, Joey. I’m not going to argue with you about this.”

Joey stood and grabbed JC’s arm as he turned to leave the room, “Yes, you are. I have a few things that I need to say to you.”

JC sighed heavily and turned to face Joey. “Fine, but hurry up, it’s almost five.”

Glancing at the alarm clock on the nightstand, Joey looked back at JC. “You shouldn’t have told Justin about Chris.”

JC rolled his eyes, “Do I have to go through this again? He had a right to know, Joey, and you should have told him as soon as you found out!”

"Okay, he had a right to know, but he had a right to hear it from Chris, you took that away from him.”

Turning, JC sighed, “How was I supposed to know Chris was going to tell him, Joe?”

Joey crossed his arms, “Maybe you should have trusted Chris to do the right thing.”

JC whirled to face Joey. “Trust him?” he asked incredulously. “How am I supposed to trust him? I don’t even know him.” JC threw up his hands, “God, Joey, the man is a professor having an affair with one of his students! You want me to trust him as he’s breaking every violation in the book?”

“I thought Justin was your friend,” Joey said softly.

“He is. What does that have to do with anything?”

Joey lifted a shoulder and dropped it, “Then you should have trusted that Justin wouldn’t have fallen in love with someone who wasn’t a good guy. That right there should have been enough for you, JC.”

JC hung his head, “I was just looking out for him.”

Joey put a hand on JC’s shoulder, “I know you were, JC. But sometimes, no matter how hard you try to protect him, he’s still going to get hurt.” Squeezing JC’s shoulder, Joey moved to the door, “next time, try trusting that people will do the right thing.” He winked at JC, “Sometimes, it actually happens.”

*****

“You guys want to listen to the radio?” JC asked.

Lance glanced up in surprise, “What?”

“Sure,” Joey said, “we could use some background noise.” Glancing at Justin, he asked, “What do you think Justin?”

Justin shrugged, “I don’t care. As long as it’s not country.” He snuck a glance at Lance.

Lance rolled his eyes, “Say what you want, but Garth Brooks is king.”

“Whatever you say,” JC muttered as he pushed back his chair and walked to the radio mounted underneath the kitchen cabinets. He switched the dial to AM and held the buttons down until he found the station Chris had mentioned.

A newscaster was giving the news since it was the top of the hour.

Lance cocked his head, “What station is this, Josh? I don’t recognize the DJ.”

JC sat down as he answered, “450.”

The fork paused halfway to Lance’s mouth. “AM?”

JC nodded while he chewed. After he swallowed, he said, “Yeah, why?”

Lance gave him a strange look, “Well, I thought you wanted to listen to music. This is an all talk station.” He stood up to change it.

JC and Joey shared a confused look, before Joey realized what Lance was about to do. “No!” he said to Lance. Lance turned to him as he reached for the radio, “Leave it,” Joey said, trying to keep his voice normal, “I want to listen to it.”

“But, Joe,” Justin said, “Lance said it’s all talk. Why do you want to listen to that?”

Joey stammered as he answered, knowing he had to find some excuse to keep this station on, “Because, Justin, I, um, don’t want to listen to music, because then I’ll want to sing, and my mouth will be full with food, and that’s just gross.” He shot JC a helpless look.

Justin burst out laughing, “That is the lamest excuse ever!” He looked between Joey and JC and then glanced at Lance, “What is going on?”

Lance shrugged, “I wish I knew.”

Justin stared at Joey, “Joey? Come on, tell us...”

His voice trailed off as a new voice came on the radio. A voice he knew as well as his own.

Chris.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

When Chris’s show was over, he took his time gathering his things together. Although he wanted nothing more than to run out of the studio and race over to Justin’s, he was having a hard time deciding if that was the right thing to do.

Sure, it seemed as if Justin had forgiven him, but the five-minute on-air phone conversation wasn’t really significant evidence. Justin may have forgiven him, but was he ready to take him back with open arms? He may have been past the fact that Chris didn’t tell him what was going on, but was he far enough past it to want to be with Chris again?

Chris spoke to Jake for a few minutes, going over Jake’s notes on what he thought Chris could do better or different the next time, before he finally shrugged on his jacket and made his way to the entrance of the studio. He thought about calling Justin when it was too late, his hand was already on the handle of the glass doors leading outside.

Deciding to just bite the bullet and go to Justin’s house, Chris pushed open the door and headed towards his car. He was searching his pockets for his keys when he looked up and stopped.

Leaning against his car was Justin. He was kicking at a rock on the ground so Chris took the opportunity to stare at him. His head was covered in a familiar bandanna, the curls peeking out from back and sides. He was wearing jeans and a black sleeveless T-shirt, and his arms were crossed over his chest. Chris felt a wide smile on his lips as he took the final steps to his car.

Hearing someone approach, Justin glanced up from the rock to see who was coming closer. His eyes met Chris’s and he smiled.

“Hey,” Chris said stopping a few feet from Justin.

“Hey,” Justin replied. “So,” he said, mainly to fill the silence.

Chris laughed nervously, “Why am I nervous?”

Justin grinned, “I have no idea, but so am I.”

Chris set his briefcase on the hood of his car and leaned next to Justin. Neither one spoke, each not really knowing how to start the conversation. Chris took a deep breath. “So, what are you doing here?”

Justin glanced at him, “Do you want me to leave?” he asked quickly.

“No,” Chris said, grabbing a hold of Justin’s arm to make sure he wasn’t going anywhere. “I meant, why did you come down here?”

Justin shrugged, “I didn’t know if you would come to the house, and I wanted to talk to you.”

Chris nodded, accepting his reason. “Did you want to go somewhere and talk?” He motioned to the parking lot, “I mean, this is nice and everything, but we could grab a cup of coffee or something.”

Justin grinned at him, “Just what you need, caffeine.”

Chris laughed, “Come on, Kid,” he said, unlocking the passenger door, “get in the car.”

Chris drove to the park where he and Justin shared their first kiss. Justin smiled as he realized where they were heading. What better place to start over than where they first began?

The two were silent as Chris shut off the ignition, and they got out of the car. They walked to the playground and Justin headed for the swings. Sitting side by side, Chris finally broke the silence.

“I’m sorry,” was all he said.

Justin kicked the ground so his swing moved lazily. “I know,” he said softly. His hands gripped the thick chains and he looked up at Chris, “Why didn’t you just tell me?”

Chris pushed his own swing and shrugged, “I thought I was protecting you.” Justin snorted and Chris continued, “I really did, Justin. I didn’t want you to have to deal with John. It was my fight.”

Justin stopped his swing by skidding his feet. “No it wasn’t!” he said, turning to look at Chris. “It was our fight, Chris! We should have fought together.”

Chris looked him in the eye, “Justin, do you realize you could have been expelled if we were found out?” Justin looked at the ground and shrugged. “You have a future ahead of you, Justin, and I wasn’t going to let someone like John Graver ruin that for you!”

“You still should have told me,” Justin said sullenly.

Chris nodded, “I know. But at the time, I thought what I was doing was right.” He smiled at Justin, “I didn’t think you would take it so bad. Hell, I didn’t realize I would take it so bad.” Justin grinned at him and Chris laughed.

Justin’s face turned somber, “you really hurt me, Chris. And I shouldn’t forgive you.” Chris held his breath, waiting for Justin to continue. He took his time finding his words. “I was ready to give you everything, you know.” He looked up at Chris and Chris nodded. Looking back down at his feet, he said, “I hated you. I hated that you made me feel like shit, I hated that I let myself get so upset over you.”

Chris rose from his swing and stood in front of Justin’s. Putting his hands over Justin’s on the chain, he squatted so they were eye to eye, “I’m so sorry, Justin,” he said.

Justin looked into Chris’s eyes, searching for any sign that he was lying. Finding none, he slowly smiled, “I forgive you.”

Chris grinned at Justin’s words. Putting his hand on the side of Justin’s face, Chris asked softly, “Where do we go now?”

Flashing him a sly look, Justin said, “I say we go back to your place.”

Chris laughed, moving to sit on his swing, “That’s not what I meant.”

“I know,” Justin grinned. He sighed, “I don’t know,” he said in answer to Chris’s question. “Do we start over, or do we just continue on like nothing’s happened?”

Chris thought about it, “We can’t go on like it didn’t happen,” he said, “It was too big to just forget about.”

Justin reached for his hand, “We can just move on, then, put it in the past. You have a new job, John can’t touch you.” His face darkened, “He can go after me, though. You admitted you had an affair with a student on the air, Chris. He can still get to me, can’t he?”

Chris squeezed Justin’s hand. “I don’t think he will, Justin. He told me you were never his target, I was. He has no reason to get you expelled.”

“But if he hates you that much...” Justin said.

Chris shook his head, “All he wanted was to get me out of the school and now that he’s done that, he can forget about me.”

Justin sighed, “I’m just glad it’s all over.” He glanced shyly at Chris, “I missed you.”

Chris pulled his swing close, “I missed you, too.”

Their lips met and the two kissed under the moonlight, silent words promised; promises each intended to keep.

*****

“Hey guys!” Justin yelled, opening the door.

“Justin,” Lance called from the living room, “be quiet, Josh is asleep.”

“So what else is new?” Chris muttered, glancing at his watch to see what time it was. “It’s early, yet,” he said to Justin as he shrugged off his jacket, “It’s only ten thirty.”

Justin rolled his eyes, “This is JC we’re talking about.”

Chris followed Justin to the living room where Joey and Lance were watching TV. JC was lying on the couch, his head on Lance’s lap. Lance was wrapping JC’s hair absently around his finger as he stared at the screen.

“Hey,” Justin said, coming into the room.

Joey didn’t look away from the screen, “Hey, J.”

Lance had the courtesy to glance at Justin, “Hey, Justin,” he said, “how did it go?”

Justin grinned, “Great.”

“Hey guys,” Chris said as he entered the room.

Joey looked up in surprise, “Chris!” he exclaimed. “You’re back!”

Chris grinned, “Yep.” He wrapped his arms around Justin’s waist from behind, “Justin forgave me for being stupid, so I’m back.”

Justin turned and kissed Chris’s cheek, “You weren’t stupid, exactly,” he said.

Chris rolled his eyes, “Whatever.” He moved to the chair, pulling Justin along with him. Dropping into the chair, he caught Justin’s belt loop, dragging him onto his lap. “What are you guys watching?” he asked.

Joey turned his attention back to the television, “Just a movie on HBO,” he said.

Lance grinned, “We have no idea what it is, we turned it on halfway though.” He yawned, “I’m going upstairs,” he said, “I have to call my mom before I go to bed.” He glanced down at JC in his lap. “Josh,” he said, leaning down to his ear, “wake up.”

JC moaned and rolled onto his side.

Lance rolled his eyes at Justin and shook JC. “Josh, wake up. I want to go upstairs.”

“No,” JC muttered, snuggling closer to Lance’s leg. “Stay here.”

Lance laughed, “No, now get up.”

Grumbling, JC sat up, rubbing his eyes with his hands. “You suck,” he told Lance.

Lance winked, “Occasionally.” He hit the side of JC’s leg, “Now come on. Say good night and let’s go.”

JC stood, “Night guys. Night Chris.”

“Night JC,” Chris answered.

JC stopped walking halfway out of the room. “Chris?” he asked.

“Yeah, JC?”

JC squinted at him, and shook his head, “Nevermind. I’ll just get the story tomorrow.” He turned and left the room.

Lance shook his head, “He won’t even remember talking to you tomorrow morning.” He said his goodnights and followed JC up the steps.

Joey rolled onto his back and looked at Justin and Chris, “So, you’re good?”

Justin grinned, “Yeah, Joe, we’re good.”

Joey nodded, “Good.” He looked at Chris, “Okay, Dr. K, I have a problem.”

Chris shook his head, pushing Justin off of him, “Oh, no. I’m off the clock, I have no time for your questions.” He stepped over Joey to head to the stairs.

“But, Chris,” Joey protested, sitting up and grabbing his leg, “You promised to help me.”

Chris shook Joey’s hand loose, “I promised to help you between the hours of five and nine.” He tapped his watch, “Its after nine, Joe, sorry.”

Joey pouted. “Fine, be like that.”

Chris grinned at him, “Fine, I will.” He looked at Justin, “ready to go to bed?”

Justin pouted, “I’m not tired.”

“I didn’t say anything about sleeping, did I?”

Justin jumped up from the chair and ran up the stairs, grabbing Chris’s hand along the way.

Joey watched them go. “I really need to move out of this house,” he muttered, turning back to his movie.

EPILOGUE

The party was in full swing when Chris arrived. He didn’t even bother to knock, knowing he wouldn’t be heard above the pounding of the music. Pushing open the door, he scanned the entrance as he took off his jacket. Not seeing Justin, Chris decided to run upstairs and put his bag in Justin’s room so no one would bother it.

Climbing the steps, Chris looked for any sign of a familiar face. He recognized a few kids from his class, and felt slightly awkward as the kids yelled out greetings, still calling him Professor. Waving at Joey, who was across the room with his arm around Nakia’s waist, Chris climbed the stairs.

The door to Justin’s room was closed, and Chris turned the knob only to find it locked. Rolling his eyes, he muttered, “Of course he locked his door.”

“Chris, is that you?” Justin called from inside the room.

Turning back and looking at the door with a strange expression, he called, “Yes. You want to tell my why your door is locked if you’re inside?”

The doorknob slowly turned and Justin cautiously stuck his head out. “What are you doing?” Chris asked him, pushing at the door, “let me in!”

Justin grinned and reached out, grabbing Chris’s arm and pulling him inside.

“Justin, you are so whacked!” Chris laughed as he dropped his bag. The laughter stuck in his throat when he turned around. Justin was standing at the door, completely naked. “What...you’re...” Chris stammered.

Justin gave him an impish grin, “Now do you see why I had the door locked?” He took a step towards Chris and began to unbutton his shirt, “You wouldn’t want some other guy to come in here and see me lying naked on my bed, would you?”

Chris came out of his stupor and ran his hands along Justin’s bare back. Kissing his neck, he murmured, “No, that wouldn’t be good.”

Justin caught Chris’s mouth with his own. Chris moaned against Justin’s lips, and Justin pulled him to the bed, “We don’t have a lot of time,” he said.

Chris glanced at the door before looking down at Justin. “Let’s see, would I rather be out there making nice with strangers, or in here making nice with you?” He nipped at Justin’s ear, “I choose B.”

Justin laughed, turning Chris over so Justin was now on top, “I choose B, too, but the guys would kick my ass if I didn’t show my face.” He licked Chris’s chest, “Besides, I invited Nick, and you wouldn’t want to miss Jealous JC, would you?”

Chris twisted his fingers in Justin’s hair, “Keep doing that with your tongue, and I wouldn’t care what I missed.”

*****

JC was scowling.

Chris stood next to him, trying his best not to laugh, but a small chuckle escaped his lips anyway. He quickly took a drink, covering his smile with his plastic cup.

“Look at him,” JC growled, motioning across the room. “I’m right here! Doesn’t he even care?”

Chris shrugged, “Apparently not.”

“Who invited him, anyway?” JC grumbled as he pumped the tap on the keg.

Chris searched for Justin across the crowded room, “I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but it was Justin.”

Beer squirted onto the floor as JC whipped his head to Chris. Readjusting the tap so it shot the beer into his cup, JC said, “Justin? Why would Justin invite Nick Carter to our party?”

Chris motioned to Justin. “Look at him, JC. He’s in his freaking glory over there.”

JC eyes followed Chris’s gaze to where Justin stood talking to some of the guys from the basketball team. He was listening to their conversation, but his eyes were on Nick and Lance, and there was a smile on his face.

JC glowered as Nick laughed loudly at something Lance said, reaching out a hand to touch Lance’s chest. Flicking his gaze back to Justin, he saw Justin grinning his way.

“I’m gonna kill that little shit,” JC muttered. He glanced sideways at Chris. “I hope you two had your New Years romp in the hay, because after tonight, he ain’t going to be living.”

Chris laughed, “You know, JC. You bring this on yourself.” JC glared at him and Chris continued, “You have nothing to be sorry about, you know. Lance adores you, he would never go after Nick.” Chris caught Justin’s eye and smiled at him, “Justin sure does know what buttons to push, doesn’t he?”

JC narrowed his eyes as he took a drink from his cup. “He’s a punk,” he said flatly. “I’m going to rescue Lance.”

Chris couldn’t help but take one last jab, “Looks like Lance doesn’t really need rescuing, JC.” Just then, someone ran into Lance from behind, pushing him closer to Nick. Nick wrapped an arm around Lance’s waist to steady him.

“Fuck you,” JC growled and pushed his way through the crowd. “Carter,” he yelled, “get your hands off my man!”

Chris laughed and noticed Justin crossing the room to him. Watching him walk across the room, Chris smiled to himself. Justin noticed Chris’s gaze on him and moved slower, his hips sashaying slightly as he walked.

Chris rolled his eyes, “You’re a fucking tease,” he muttered into his ear, pulling Justin close, crushing him against his own chest.

Justin laughed, “But I’m your tease.”

*****

“Come on, you two,” Joey said, grabbing Justin’s arm.

“Where are we going?” Chris asked, getting up from the couch.

Joey grinned, “New Years tradition,” he said.

Justin and Chris followed Joey up the stairs. Heading into JC and Lance’s room, they moved to the connected bathroom, and out the open window. Sticking his head outside, Chris noticed JC and Lance already on the roof, Lance sitting in between JC’s legs, leaning against his chest.

Joey, Justin, and Chris sat down next to JC and Lance, and Joey grinned, taking a joint out of his pocket.

“No Nakia?” Lance asked, his words slurring slightly.

Joey shook his head, “Nah, it’s just us guys,” he answered, holding the joint to his lips and lighting it, inhaling deeply.

Justin reached for it, but Joey pushed his hands away, motioning for JC to talk to Justin, since his breath was held.

JC laughed, “Joey has some weird rules when he smokes pot,” he told Justin. “Like, he takes three hits before he passes it.”

Justin rolled his eyes and lay down, his head on Chris’s thigh, his gaze on the stars. “Do y’all make any resolutions?” he asked.

Joey handed him the joint and Justin inhaled, the smoke heading for his lungs. Expelling a cloud of smoke, Joey said, “I think I’m going to resolve to not be such a flirt.”

Justin coughed, not because of the smoke, but because he was choking on laughter. “Yeah right!”

Joey shook his head, “No, really.” Leaning back on his elbows, he said, “Nakia’s really great. I don’t want to ruin it.”

“Good for you, Joey,” Lance said drunkenly, slapping the roof with his hand.

JC rolled his eyes and hugged Lance. “What about you, Baby? What’s your resolution?”

Lance shrugged, “I don’t know. More sex, maybe?”

Joey laughed at him, “You have sex every damn day! How much more do you want?”

Lance narrowed his eyes behind his glasses, “How do you know how often we have sex? Do you watch us? You’re sick!”

“You’re a dumbass, Lance,” Joey said, laughing. “I share a wall with you. For God’s sake, I could write a song to the thumping of your headboard.” He began to pound a beat on the roof. Justin passed the joint to Chris and added to the beat, holding his hands up to his mouth and beatboxing along.

Joey began to rap to his and Justin’s beat. “I share a wall with JC and Lance. If I had to guess, they aren’t wearing pants. Screw, screw, screw all day long.”

Justin joined in, “screw, screw, screw while I sing this song.” He and Joey dissolved into a fit of giggles and Justin raised a hand to wipe his mouth.

“Jesus,” Chris breathed as Justin’s hand moved across his mouth.

Justin looked up at him, “What?” he asked, his hand still at his mouth.

“You are so damn sexy,” he said, handing the joint to JC and leaning down to kiss him.

“Guys!” Joey complained. “It’s bad enough the love birds make kissy faces at each other all day, you don’t have to join in!”

Chris laughed, pulling away from Justin. “Okay, fine.” He looked at JC, who was giving the joint to Lance, “What’s your resolution, JC?”

JC shrugged, blowing out the smoke. “I don’t know. Maybe I’ll resolve to not get so jealous.”

“Praise the Lord,” Lance cried, throwing up his hands. Rolling his eyes, JC smacked Lance’s chest.

“I’m resolving to tell my parents about Chris,” Justin said softly.

Chris looked down at him in surprise, “You’re what?”

Justin nodded against Chris’s leg, “Yep. It’s not fair to you. I’m going to tell my mom that I’m gay.”

Chris smoothed hair off of Justin’s forehead, “you know you don’t have to do that, right?”

“I know I don’t have to,” Justin replied. “I want to.”

Joey interrupted them, “Before you two get all sappy again, Chris, what’s your resolution?”

Chris shrugged, “I don’t know. I was going to resolve to get Justin back, but that’s happened.” He smiled down at Justin, “There’s nothing more I want.”

Joey opened his mouth to reply, but the sound of someone yelling “one minute” floated up to their ears. Joey stood.

“Well, I’m going to find Nakia,” he said, moving to the window. “Happy New Years, guys,” he said as he disappeared inside.

Justin looked at JC and Lance, “Are you guys going in?”

JC shook his head, holding Lance tighter, and dropping a kiss on his neck. “No. We stay out here.”

Chris nodded, “Okay, then, we’ll go.”

Lance looked at them as they stood, “You don’t have to,” he said.

Justin caught Chris’s hand. “Let’s stay out here,” he said.

Chris nodded, and they moved to the other side of the window, leaving Lance and JC in relative privacy. Chris leaned against the house, pulling Justin to him.

“It’s true, you know,” Chris whispered as the sounds of counting down could be heard.

“What’s that?” Justin murmured.

“All I want is you,” Chris said.

Justin smiled, “That’s good, because you’re all I want.”

The two stood, listening to the countdown. When the crowd got to one, and fireworks could be heard, Justin dipped his head, capturing Chris’s lips with his own.

“Happy New Year, Old Man,” Justin whispered against Chris’s lips.

Chris opened his eyes and looked into Justin’s clear blue gaze. The events of the past few weeks were forgotten, and Chris knew that he had all he ever wanted standing right there in front of him.

And he resolved to never let him go.

“Happy New Year, Kid.”

The End

 

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