Muppet Babies

By:  Gretchen

 

Chris was laughing uncontrollably.

He was sitting at the table, Lance's laptop open in front of him, and he was giggling like a twelve-year-old girl.

"Dude, what is so funny?" Justin asked shutting the fridge.

Chris pointed at the screen. "It's…Lance…" he couldn't get the words out.

Justin moved to Chris as he opened his can of soda. Taking a sip, he looked over Chris shoulder. Promptly, he spit his soda out.

Chris stopped laughing. "Gross, Justin." He jumped up and grabbed some paper towels to wipe off his shirt.

"Sorry," Justin sputtered taking Chris's seat. "This is priceless." His eyes danced over the screen.

"I'm going to get Joey," Chris said, running out of the room.

Two minutes later, Chris came back, dragging Joey behind him. "What? Chris, I was kicking Lance's ass, and now JC will ruin it!" He took a drink from the bottle of beer in his hand.

Chris sighed heavily, "Don't worry, Joey, this is so worth it. PlayStation will wait." He shoved Joey in front of the computer.

Justin grabbed the bottle of beer from his hand and got out of the way.

"Oh. My. God." Joey said, a slow grin spreading on his face. "That is so funny." He turned his brown eyes on the others. "We're going to do something about this, right?"

*****

Joey came back in the room to see Lance and JC on the couch. The PlayStation was turned off, and they were lying on the couch watching TV.

"What's up, guys?"

Lance looked away from the TV. "What did Chris want?"

Joey shrugged, "Nothing, really." He sat in a chair, "What are you watching?"

JC absently ran his hand through Lance's spikes as he answered Joey. "Fox Family."

Lance rolled his eyes, "I think The Muppets Take Manhattan is on soon. You know how JC is with that."

Joey spit his beer on the carpet.

*****

"Where are you guys going?"

Chris and Justin stopped, their eyes wide.

"To get something to eat," Justin said just as Chris said, "To the video store." Justin glared at him, and Chris shrugged.

Lance and JC shared a look. "What is going on?" JC asked.

Chris rolled his eyes, trying to play innocent, "Nothing. Justin and I are going to the video store, and then to get some take out." He changed the subject, "What do you want?"

JC perked up, "Chinese."

Lance kissed him as he stood, "You're so predictable." He moved to put on his jacket, "I'll come with you, I need to get a few things at the drug store right next to Blockbuster."

Justin shared a trapped look with Chris, "No, you can't."

Lance paused while straightening his jacket. "Why not?" His eyes grew wide, "You want to be alone?"

Justin's face twisted, but Chris put his hand over his mouth to shut him up. "Yes, Lance. We want to be alone."

"Dude," JC said in a whisper, drawing out the word. "I never…"

Chris dragged Justin backward to the door, keeping his hand over his mouth, even though Justin was furiously licking his palm to be released. "We'll be back."

*****

"Where's the food?" Joey grumbled when Chris and Justin got back.

Justin walked up and stood in front of JC and Lance, "Chris and I are not fucking, just so you know."

JC grinned, "Okay, J, whatever."

His eyes darkened, "We're not!"

Lance crossed his arms over his chest, "Then why couldn't I go with you?"

"Chris!" Justin yelled.

Chris came into the room with a bag. It was one of those birthday bags, with colorful balloons printed on the sides. The handle was tied together with green and blue ribbons. He grinned at Joey and Justin before handing them the bag.

"We got you something," he said, proudly setting the bag in Lance's lap.

Lance looked at JC skeptically, "Um. Why?"

JC took the bag from Lance, "Let me see!" He excitedly looked into the bag, pushing away the tissue paper. "What is it?"

Chris grinned, "Just a little something we found on the Internet that made us think of you."

Lance gave him an unreadable look and took the bag back from JC. "Let me," he told him. He calmly untied the ribbons while JC bounced on the couch next to him. He looked up to see Joey and Chris grinning like maniacs and Justin already laughing in anticipation.

As the handles fell open, JC reached into the bag and pulled out a double-sided picture frame.

"No," Justin said, grabbing that from him, "that's last."

JC shrugged, "Okay." He reached into the bag and took out a movie. His eyes lit up, "Dude! The Muppets Take Manhattan!" Grabbing the bag from a smirking Lance, he looked inside, "And the Muppet Movie!" He looked up, "Thanks guys!"

Lance shook his head, "yeah, thanks, guys," he said dryly. Motioning to the frame, he said, "What's that?"

Chris took it from Justin and handed it to him. "Here you go," he said, laughing,

Lance opened the frame and looked down.

"Um, I don't get it?" JC said.

"See, that picture of Waldorf and Statler on the left is exactly like that picture of you and Lance on the right." Joey had to sit down from laughing, and Justin was holding his sides laughing at the expression on their faces.

The picture was taken at a coffee shop of some kind. Lance remembered it, because when he saw it floating around the Internet, he couldn't help but smile at the look on JC's face. JC had his glass lifted off the table, and Lance had a fork halfway to his mouth. The other picture had the two Muppets who sat in the balcony drinking coffee. It was almost the exact same pose, except one of them - Lance thought it was Waldorf - was holding a cup of coffee rather than a fork.

Lance couldn't help but smile. "Where did you find this?"

Chris shrugged, "I was looking at some journals on the Internet and some girl had them posted on her page." He grinned, "I couldn't resist."

JC was confused, "So, you're saying we're them?"

Justin nodded, "Yeah."

Joey grinned, "You're almost like Bert and Ernie, too." He glanced at Chris, "Weren't they gay?"

JC's eyes widened, "They were not gay!" he protested.

Justin fell to the ground laughing, "Look at JC, defending them!" He sat up, "Hello! They're Muppets!"

JC shrugged, "So what? They were just roommates."

Lance put his arm around JC, "So are we, honey."

JC shrugged off his arm, "They were not gay," he grumbled.

Lance stared at the picture in his hand as the others argued around him. Sure, it was a joke, but it made him think.

Maybe that would be him and JC sometime in the future. They could grow old and bitter together.

Just like the Muppets.

The End

 

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