Again
By:  Jaimie

I heard from a friend today
And she said you were in town
Suddenly the memories
Came back to me in my mind
How can I be strong
I’ve asked myself
Time and time I’ve said
That I’ll never fall in love with you again

Six months. That’s how long it had been since he walked out of her life. The longest six months of her life. Jaimie never imagined anything could hurt her as bad as him leaving her, but seeing him again after so long apart almost hurt worst of all. He was no longer hers. She wondered if he still thought about her, or if he had someone else in his life. Was there another he made love to all night long, someone he holds till the sun comes up, someone he kisses the sweet way he’d kiss her? Did his beautiful green eyes look upon another with the love that was once meant for her? Her heart ached again as the words of their last night together played again in her mind.

~*~*~*~*~*~*Flashback~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jaimie stepped out of her shower, toweling herself off as she went. She slipped on her fluffy robe and began to make her way into her bedroom as she towel dried her hair. As soon as she walked into her room, she gasped and jumped back startled. Her boyfriend of the last year was sitting solemnly on her bed. Jaimie laughed softly at herself, “Jeez Lance, you scared the crap out of me. I didn’t know you were coming over. It’s certainly a nice surprise though.”

Lance just looked up at her with such sadness in his eyes it almost scared her, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I let myself in with the key you gave me.”

“Okay. Lance is something wrong?”

“Come here.” Lance reached out his hand for her, and she took it without hesitation. He pulled her to the bed and sat her beside him. Lance immediately crushed his lips to hers. He kissed her hungrily, as if he were starving for her. Jaimie kissed him back, but Lance’s behavior was really scaring her. He had kissed her many many times before with amazing passion, but this wasn’t at all like that. This felt more like it was out of desperation. When he broke away, Jaimie felt something damp against her cheek. She realized Lance was crying She brought her hand up to gently wipe his tears.

“Lance, please tell me what’s going on. You’re really scaring me.”

“Oh God! I...I don’t know if I can do this.” he said, mainly talking to himself. He finally looked up to meet her worried blue eyes. He looked at her for a moment, softly caressing her face, “You’re so beautiful. My sweet Jaimie. You’re my angel. Do you know that?”

Jaimie’s brow creased as she frowned, “Lance...”

Lance brought his hand to her lips to silence her, “Shhhh” His hand gently played with the gold clauddagh ring he gave her for her birthday just two months earlier. The heart was pointing towards her, meaning her heart belonged to someone. She had willingly giving it to him and he was getting ready to break it. “You know I love you with all my heart?”

“Yes..”she said cautiously.

He sighed and looked back into her big blue eyes. He didn’t keep eye contact long, too afraid he’d get lost in their depths. “Our tour is starting again next week as you know. Do you remember how hard it was being apart last time?”

“It was almost unbearable.”

“I know. That’s why...I think....we should break up before I leave.” Lance finally finished. Jaimie felt as if someone grabbed her heart and was squeezing the life out of her.

“Wh....what?” she choked.

“Jaimie you know how much I love you, but I can’t be the boyfriend I want to be while I’m on the road. It’s not fair to you.”

“Not fair to me? Do you think this is fair? You deciding what’s best for me. I’m an adult Lance. I can decide for myself. How can you do this to me? How can.....” she paused as her tears began to fall freely. “How can you make the decision without even discussing it with me?”

Lance moved to embrace her but she pushed him away, “Please don’t hate me. I thought this was best.”

“You know what I think?” Jaimie asked as she angrily wiped her tears away. “I think you don’t care about me as much as I thought you did. You know I actually thought you were the one I would marry. You would be the father of my children. Boy was I mistaken.”

Lance’s eyes welled with tears, “Don’t....”

“Just get out.”

“Please, I don’t want it to end this way.”

“Get out!” she yelled.

Lance bent his head sadly, then looked back up at her again. His heart was breaking. He really loved her with all his heart and soul, but he really thought this was best. “Okay. I’ll go.” He stopped at her bedroom door and turned to her again. “Before I go I have to say this. I do love you. This breaks my heart as much as its breaking yours. Maybe even more because I know how much I’m hurting you. I will always love you. My heart will always belong to you.” He slowly turned and walked away, hearing hear sobs even as he closed the door behind him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*End Flashback~*~*~*~*~*~*

A wounded heart you gave
My soul you took away
Good intentions you had many
I know you did
I come from a place that hurts
And God knows how I cried
And I never want to return
Never fall again

Jaimie closed her eyes, trying to block out that painful memory. When she opened her eyes, she looked back towards him only to find his eyes were on her as well. Their gazes locked for only a moment before Jaimie’s date swept her away to the dance floor. She tried to concentrate on her date, but she couldn’t help but wonder what was going on in his mind.

She’s here,....my angel. She’s more beautiful than he remembered if that was possible. When Lance walked out of her apartment six months ago, he thought he’d never see her again, yet there she was not thirty feet away from him. But she wasn’t alone. Another man was with her, holding her close, making her smile and laugh, things that he used to do. Jealousy ate away inside him. Did she stop loving him? Has someone else filled his space in her heart? Did she still hate him? He wished he could ask her these questions, but as long as her date was around he knew he couldn’t. For a brief moment their eyes met, but Lance couldn’t quite read them. Lance continued to watch her from afar as her date pulled her to the dance floor. Suddenly, Lance saw his chance. Her date escorted her to a table and excused himself. Lance began to weave his way through the crowd to the woman who still owned his heart.

As soon as her date walked away, Jaimie scanned the room for Lance but he was nowhere to be found. She frowned disappointed. He must not care about her after all..

“You know you shouldn’t frown. Your smile is much too pretty to hide.”

The moment he spoke, Jaimie felt her spine tingle and butterflies invaded her stomach. She turned around and saw Lance standing behind her. “Lance.”, was all she could manage to say. They stood there awkwardly for a moment. Conversation used to come so easily for them, but after all that happened neither knew what to say.

“Will you dance with me?” he asked softly.

“I don’t know Lance. I’m here with someone.” Jaimie hesitated.

Lance gently took her by the hand and led her to the dance floor without an answer. Jaimie wrapped her arms around his neck as he pulled her tight against him. They fell into their old rhythm as if they never spent one day apart.

Making love to you
Always felt so good and oh so right
How can I be strong
I’ve asked myself
Time and time I’ve said
That I’ll never fall in love with you again

“I’m sorry.” Lance whispered in her ear.

“I know.” Jaimie whispered back, her tears beginning to fall.

Lance pulled away enough to look into her eyes. They were still filled with so much pain, but he could also see forgiveness. He couldn’t resist any longer. He brought his lips down to hers. She immediately deepened their kiss, slipping her tongue into his mouth to play with his. NO! her mind screamed. Her heart couldn’t take this again. She suddenly pulled away from him and stared at him wide eyed.

“What?” he asked breathlessly.

“I....I can’t. I can’t do this again.” she quickly turned and ran out of the club completely forgetting about her date. She went straight home and took a long hot bath, trying to forget how good it felt to be in his arms again. When the water began to cool, she climbed out of the tub. She donned her robe and let her long curly brown hair fall back down her back. Again she was startled to find Lance sitting on her bed.

So here we are alone again
Didn’t think it’d come to this
And to know it all began
With just a little kiss
I’ve come to close to happiness
To have it swept away
Don’t think I can take the pain
Never fall again

“Lance? What are you...how did you get in?”

“I still had your key. I think we have some things left to talk about.”

Jaimie sighed, “Like what Lance? You broke up with me for my own good or so you thought. What’s left to be said?”

“I guess you’re still mad.”

“Not mad just hurt.”

“I can’t begin to apologize enough for the pain I caused you. I really thought I was doing the right thing...”

“Fine Lance. I accept your apology. Can you go now?”

“Can you honestly stand there and tell me you felt nothing in the kiss we shared?”

“What are you trying to do to me? You broke up with me. You wanted me to have a ‘normal’ boyfriend. I finally start to date again and you show up. You wanted me to move on Lance so deal with it.”

“I know I did, but....I miss you.” Lance came up to her, softly caressing her cheek. “Not a day goes by that I don’t think about you. I miss being able to touch you, to kiss you, I miss even just talking to you.”

“Stop.” Jaimie choked out as her tears began again. “You can’t do this Lance. I couldn’t stand to have my heart broken again.”

“I never wanted to hurt you. I promise this time I won’t let you go.”

“Until tour starts again.” Jaimie spat angrily.

“Never. I’ve never regretted anything as much as I regretted leaving you. If you give me another chance I promise I’ll spend the rest of my life showing you how much I love you.”

Jaimie felt her resolve begin to melt as she looked into Lance’s green eyes. She saw love reflected in them. His love for her.

Kinda late in the game
And my heart is in your hands
Don’t you stand there
And then tell me you love me
Then leave again
‘Cause I’m falling in love with you again

“You have to understand something Lance. I love you with all my heart, but there won’t be a third chance. I can’t keep setting myself up to have my heart broken no matter how much I love you.”

“There won’t be a need for a third chance. I’ll never let you go again. I love you Jaimie.”

“I love you too.” she whispered. Lance began to kiss her again. They fell onto her bed, and began to make up for their six months apart. They both knew in each others arms was where they belonged.

Hold me
Hold me
Don’t ever let me go
Say it just one time
Say you love me
God knows I do love you...again

 

The End

 

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