Leave My Heart Out Of This

Leave My Heart Out Of This
By: Jaimie

I know the damage that he’s done
I know the damage that he’ll do
You know when you knock on my door
I’ll always open it to you

There is a time, there is a place
But it’s not here and now’s not safe
This is a fight that’s yours and his
Leave my heart out of this

Channing stood outside his door, debating on whether or not she was going to knock on it. She always seemed to be running to him with every little problem between her and her boyfriend of the last two years, Adam. Chris was her best friend in the world. He was the only one she had to go to with her problems, and he always opened the door for her. Never expecting an explanation he would just open his arms and allow her to cry all of her sorrows into the comfort of his solid chest. His arms around her always seemed to comfort her no matter what she was going through in her life. Knowing he would help her through the tough time she was going through, she knocked on his door and waited for him to answer.

Somehow Chris knew who was at his door before he answered it. For an instant he actually thought about not answering it, but in his heart he knew he couldn’t turn Channing away. She needed him to open his arms and his heart to her again. Chris sighed heavily, wondering if Channing knew how he really felt about her if she would still put him through the torture of hearing her pour her heartache out to him over and over again. All he wanted to do was hold her in his arms forever, never letting her know what it’s like to love without receiving the same love in return. As soon as he opened the door, Channing’s face crumbled into tears and she fell into his embrace. Chris said nothing, he just led her over to the couch and pulled her to him, letting her cry out all of her tears before she began to talk about what was wrong. A little while later, her tears finally subsided enough for her to talk to him.

“I’m sorry to always keep running to you with my problems, but you’re my best friend. I don’t have anyone else to go to.” she sniffed softly.

“Chan, tell me what happened this time?”

“I found out yesterday that I’m about six weeks pregnant. At first I was very happy about it you know. It was a part of the love between Adam and I. Well, when I told him tonight that he was going to be a father he completely lost it. He started screaming that it wasn’t his baby and that I was cheating on him with you. Can you believe that?”

Chris’ heart was breaking even more as she spoke. The woman he loved more than anything was carrying the child of the one man who stood in the way of his happiness. Oh, if he could only make her see how wrong Adam was for her. Chris knew he could make her happy, and he would take care of the baby as if it was his own. He would never turn her or her child away. “I’m so sorry Channing.”

“Yeah, well, it’s over between us. I know I’ve said this lots of times before, but this time I mean it. How could he think such a thing of me Chris? I thought he loved me and that we could finally be a family like I have always wanted. Now all of my dreams are shattered. How can I possibly pick up the pieces and start my life over again and take care of a baby?” Channing began to cry once more.

“Shhhh, don’t cry anymore Chan. He’s not worth it. He’s not the kind of man you need. You need the kind of man who will never make you cry, who will always be here for you when you need him to be, and someone who will love you the way you deserve to be loved.”

“Yeah,” Channing laughed bitterly. “Where can I find such a man?”

Chris took a deep breath and decided it was now or never, “I’m right here Channing. I’ve always been here, you’ve just never noticed me.”

Channing’s blue eyes grew as she looked up at him in shock. She had had no clue Chris really felt that way about her. They had always been the best of friends, never romantically involved, but now with Chris’ confession it changes everything.

Leave my heart out of this
You’re too much to resist
I don’t have the strength to pull away
No is getting hard for me to say
I’d love to be the way your heartache ends
But till it does we can’t be more than friends
I’m only trying to do what’s best
It’s gonna hurt you more unless
You leave my heart out of this

“I…I really don’t know what to say Chris. I never knew you felt this way about me.”

“I know you didn’t, and I’ve tried to understand how you could have missed it. Were you really so caught up in Adam that you were completely blind to everyone else around you? You didn’t see the hurt in my eyes, every time you mentioned your love for a man who didn’t deserver it? Channing, I have loved you since the first day I met you. I have always been here for you, not matter how much it hurt sometimes. But I…..I have to stop putting myself through this anymore. As much as I love you, I can’t keep doing this over and over again. Until you decide what you truly want, I think it’s best if we don’t see each other anymore. If you decide you don’t feel the same way for me, then I’ll have to learn to accept that. I truly hope you listen to what your heart tells you and don’t let what Adam says dictate what you want anymore.” Chris smiled sadly down at her before softly kissing her lips. “I’ll be here when you’re ready.”

Right now confused is how you feel
Afraid to face this on your own
I know the way you hurt to heal
And I know the empty of alone
So take my shoulder, take my hand
Take what you need, I’ll understand
Just don’t take more than I can give
Leave my heart out of this

Channing knew Chris was right. She had to decide what was best for her and her child, not what was best for everyone else in her life. A few days after Chris’ confession, Adam came crawling back to her begging her forgiveness. He claimed he really knew it was his child, but he was scared and confused when she told him the news. She calmly told him that she was tired of his lying and cheating ways. She wasn’t going to take him back this time. It was over, and she didn’t want to have anything to do with him any longer. At first Adam got angry and demanded to be able to see his child. Channing told him that wouldn’t be a problem. If he wanted to have rights to his child they could go to court and arrange child support and then he could have some rights. Of course then Adam changed his tune. Channing knew after that that she wouldn’t see him again. Somehow she wasn’t upset about that prospect. Over the next few weeks, Channing learned to rely on herself for the first time in a long time. She started to regain the confidence she had in herself before she let Adam take over her life. Everything in her life seemed to be going great….except for one thing. Chris wasn’t in it anymore. Every time she thought of him, her heart began to ache unlike anything she ever felt before. She finally realized how blind she had been all this time. Chris was right there for her no matter what. In his eyes, she saw how much he loved her and how much he wanted to make her happy. How could she possibly make up for all the heartache she caused him, and how can she ask him to help her raise a child that’s not his?

It had been two months since she had last seen him. Two of the longest months of her life. She never knew how much she leaned on him until he wasn’t there anymore. Today she was going to go to him in hopes that he still loved her the way she loved him. Her hands began to tremble as she knocked on his door. When he answered it, she could tell he was surprised to see her. She searched his eyes for some sort of sign as to how he felt, but he kept his expression blank. Channing smiled up at him bravely, “Hi Chris. Can I come in?”

“Sure.” he said, moving aside to let her in. “It’s been a while. How have you been?”

“I’ve been pretty good. Learning who I am without anyone else in my life was more difficult than I thought it would be. Slowly but surely I’m doing it though. How about you?”

“I’m getting along pretty good too. Working a lot of long hours trying to get the new album recorded. You know.” he smiled slightly for a moment. “So what did you need to talk to me about?”

“Remember last time we saw each other you wanted me to decide what was best for me?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, Adam came back to me a few days after I left you that night. This time I didn’t take him back. I told him it was over. You know he actually tried to make claims to the baby too. I told him if he wanted rights we’d go to court and he’d be paying me child support. Then he could get his rights. Of course I haven’t heard from him since.” Channing laughed softly, even Chris smiled at her for a moment. “But that’s not all. Chris, I can’t begin to apologize for all the pain I’ve caused you. I’m so sorry I never realized how you felt about me until it was too late to prevent any of the pain I had already caused you. All I ask is that you give me another chance. I promise you I won’t hurt you again. I love you too Chris and I want us to be a family. I know my baby isn’t yours, but if you’re willing I want you to be the father of my child. No one could love a child better than you. I know that in my heart. I guess the only question is are you willing to give me that chance?”

Chris stood there for a moment, not really sure what to think of what she just said. He had hoped and prayed for this moment since the day he met her and now she was finally here, confessing her love to him the way he’d always dreamed. Could he really trust her again and allow her back into his heart? “What if Adam comes around in a few months? You aren’t going to change your mind are you?”

Channing shook her head as tears began to fall down her cheeks, “I promise I will love you forever Chris. I’ll never leave you.”

A slow smile spread across his handsome face as he pulled her into his embrace. Channing began to cry even harder at the feeling of being in his arms once again. She was at home finally where she belonged.

The End

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